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[Owl hoots]

[Screaming]

Child's voice: Help me!

Hello?

Child, whispering:
Help me. Please help me.

Can anyone hear me?

[Tapping wall]

I can't breathe.

Help me.
I can't breathe.

[Screaming]

Aah!

[Panting]

[Crying]

[Groaning]

[Breathing hard]

[Dial tone]

[Line ringing]

I need a doctor.
You...

I'm really sick.

There's a doctor
in room 209.

[Barking and baying]

Good boy.

There's one more.

What do you got?
Hold it.

We found something.

I mean, losing
someone's bad enough,

but imagine not having
any answers.

You're right,
that's terrible.

But we haven't been invited,
and it isn't serial.

That's just the thing,
see? I think--

I think it's connected
to this other case.

How many small-town
newspapers do you subscribe to?

38. It used to be more,
but a lot of them disappeared.

Same thing.
You mean gone digital.

See, that was 6 weeks ago
and it wasn't in ViCAP.

You haven't been sleeping,
have you?

I can't. There's
too much work to do.

I agree with Reid.
We've got a serial on our hands.

10 days ago, Joseph Purl,
a 33-year-old logger,

was found just outside
Rapid City, South Dakota.

To be exact, the dismembered
body parts of Joseph Purl

were found in the woods outside
of Rapid City, South Dakota.

Local P.D. believes his body
had been there about a week

before a hiker found them,
but he's not the first victim.

The first victim--

Oh--squeeze it.

It gets stuck sometimes.
Do you want me to take over?

No, I got it.

Ok.
Yeah, maybe you better.

I have it memorized,

so I don't have to look
at the gross.

The first victim
is Raymond Nava,

31, originally from Texas.

He was a seasonal truck driver
for a logging company.

His dismembered body
was found within the border

of the Pine Ridge
Indian Reservation,

which is 60 miles south
of Rapid City.

Morgan: So nobody else
was able to make the connection

between the two victims?

Nava's under tribal
and local FBI jurisdiction,

and Purl's Rapid City, P.D.

The two agencies
never spoke.

They're speaking now,
thanks to the good doctor.

But P.D. says that
the Bureau investigation

of Nava has been lacking.

Would you call that a slam
or a bitch slap?

Is this still blowback
of Leonard Peltier?

The government's been
accused of ignoring crimes

on the reservation
since '75.

Well, Peltier did
kill two FBI agents

who were searching
for a robbery suspect.

It's hard to forget.

So, what do we know
about these cases.

Well, we know that two bodies

were found within a hour's
drive of each other.

We know there's no evidence
of robbery or sexual assault.

And according
to the decomp reports,

Nava was killed two weeks
before his body was found.

So, the disposal sites
are remote,

and/or the unsub is very
good at hiding the parts.

Oh, the, uh, parts

were dispersed
within a quarter-mile radius,

and it's unclear whether
the unsub did that

or it was scattered
by animals.

Then the bites and scratches
on Purl could be scavenger activity.

Yeah, but if animals
had access,

why aren't we just
looking at bones?

Eew.

Good question. My guess
is that there was

a toxin in the flesh
that probably repelled them.

These circles on his back
are definitely manmade.

It reminds me of the marks you get
from cupping in holistic therapy,

except the diameter's
too wide.

Are they lividity marks?

It's TBD on the prelim
M.E. report.

There's really not
a lot here on either case.

Which is why we need to
start from the beginning.

Let's head to South Dakota.

[Music playing]

Hey, man, don't forget,

Devil's Tower on Sunday.
I'll pick you up 0900. Be ready.

Excuse me.

I know this is weird,
but...

would you mind walking me
to my car?

I'm probably being paranoid,

but there's someone I'm scared
of running into alone.

Sure.

This is me.

Well, I think you're safe.

My ex has a real bad temper.

I'll probably never stop
looking over my shoulder.

Anyway, thank you.

No worries.

You're not from
around here, are you?

How'd you know?

Well, first
there's your haircut

and your weird clothes,

and then there's
your funny accent.

I'm kidding. It's
the rental car keychain.

Good one.

Where are you staying?

The Gantry Motel.

That place is a dump.

I'm the manager
of the Red Creek Lodge.

It's real nice.

I'll give you a room,
no charge.

You don't have to do that.

I want to, as a thank-you
for being so gallant.

All right. Thanks.

I'm Tess.

Chad.

[Sighs]

Thermostat is there.

There's extra pillows
in the closets.

Ok.

Hey, uh, are you sure that you
can give me this room?

I told you,
I'm the manager.

I can do what I want.

And right now
I don't want to be alone.

[Heavy breathing]

♪ Criminal Minds 8x20 ♪
Alchemy
Original Air Date on May 1, 2013

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

♪

ROSSI: "Dreams are true
while they last,

and do we not live
in dreams".

Alfred Lord Tennyson.

Both if them were close
in age, both tall,

around 180 pounds,
fair complexions.

They had to be surrogates
for someone.

Except, given the physical
demands of logging,

that description could apply
to a majority of men in the area.

So, was someone trying
to get back at the industry?

Hacking them apart
means the anger ran deep.

Reid, you ok?

Yeah.

There's no shortage
of enemies to the logging industry,

from climate change environmentalists
to animal rights activists.

Native Americans with
longstanding territory disputes.

Maybe this is all to create
a hostile working environment

for the logging companies.

It looks like both men
disappeared overnight.

They left work one day,
didn't show up the next.

Garcia, did anyone interview
family members?

No. The families didn't
know anything

'cause they were all
back at home.

Raymond Nava was in Texas,

and Joseph Purl's
from Wyoming.

Are a lot of the workers seasonal
or itinerant like the two victims?

Yeah. They either live
in work camps

provided by the companies
or they rent rooms.

JJ, you and Blake
go to the morgue.

Morgan and I will go
to the crime scene.

And, Reid, since you've
already made contact,

you and Dave talk
to the local FBI

and find out what's
holding up the investigation.

Dr. Reid. I'm Agent Stern.

Actually, this is Dr. Reid.

I'm SSA Rossi.

Are you the SRA
for the Pine reservation?

Yep. I've been working
with Detective Landry,

who's out at the Purl
crime scene right now.

Let me show you
what we got.

Is this it?

No offense, but are you
like incredibly busy here

in Rapid City, South Dakota?
'Cause the last I checked,

you guys had like the fifth
lowest crime rate in the country.

I just--I feel like
the victims' families deserve more.

Let me explain something.

When I go out on the reservation
asking questions

about a homicide, I'm not
exactly greeted with open arms.

You add a non-resident
victim to the mix

and they close ranks,
thinking I'm trying to find

a native to pin it on.

I think we understand.

And the body was found
on reservation land,

but it may not be
tribal related.

The area where we found Nava,
that's easy to access from the highway.

It's possible the unsub knew it
was a different jurisdiction

and took advantage
of it.

We found a torso here.

A leg about 100 yards that way.

The rest of the parts strewn
about a quarter-mile past that.

We found a foot not far
from a known wolf den.

You think the wolves
moved the parts?

Well, they've staked out
this territory.

It's not an easy hike
from the road.

The strength it would take to
dismember a body and carry the pieces

suggests that the unsub is a
physically fit male or it was a team.

You say it's a known
wolf den?

How many people
might know about it?

Well, it's not common
public knowledge.

Local rangers
and law enforcement,

plus the biologists
who are out here studying them.

What about animal activists,

people who think that logging
might be infringing on the wolf habitat?

Yeah, we have a few.

I suppose they would have
known about it.

It's not we're hiding
the information.

Here you go, Mr. Dumont.

Thank you.

So, uh, where's Tess?

She works nights.
But she left word you're a VIP.

So what brings you
to Rapid City?

Just hiking, sightseeing.

Great. We have brochures
in the lobby

for Mt. Rushmore,
Deadwood, Devil's Tower.

Hey, if you don't mind
my asking, are you famous?

We don't get many VIPs.

I'm just a friend of Tess'.

Oh. Well, enjoy
your breakfast.

Thanks.

A wise man would avoid
the Badlands today.

Storm's rolling in.

Right.

[Dishes clatter]

Jeez.

You're a little jumpy.

That guy was just
giving me the creeps.

Sometimes this whole place
gives me the creeps.

You've only been here
a month.

You'll learn to ignore it.

By the way,
the VIP isn't famous.

He's just a friend of Tess'.

I told you.

I thought she was married
to some invalid.

She is.

I wonder if her hot friend
is just a friend?

What?

I'm just sayin'.

Follow my lead.

As long as
the checks clear,

just ignore everything
around here.

C.O.D. was solanine
poisoning.

It was used to control the victims
while they were being held captive.

Solanine is a potent toxin
and hallucinogen.

It comes from a black
nightshade plant.

The unripe berries were used
in the middle ages for torture.

The effect it has
is like a bad acid trip.

That's not fun.
Trust me.

More recently it's been used
in small doses for asthma.

Are we looking for someone
in the medical community?

More like an herbalist
or a shaman

versus a traditional M.D.

The M.E. said the circular
marks were premortem

and the victims were held
around 48 hours.

This could be about torture.

If it is,
the unsub's a sadist,

or he wanted something
from the victims.

Joseph Purl's body parts
were left near a wolf's den.

Petitions to protect the wolf habitat
have been circulating recently.

Garcia's reviewing those names.

It may be an animal activist who's
taken his beliefs to the extreme.

It could be native American,
given the first disposal site.

The circular marks on
Joseph Purl seem almost ritualistic.

Any chance this is part
of a tribal tradition?

Lakota shamans
are well known

for their extended
rituals in healing,

as well as herbal remedies.

One thing
doesn't make sense.

It took a while
to find these victims.

If the unsub wanted to send
a message to the logging industry,

why hide them?
Why not leave them out in the open

for the world to see?

[Knocking on door]

Did you miss me?

What do you think?
Come in.

Oh...

Whoo.

Sorry, uh...

Man, I must be coming down
with something.

I've been kind of
feeling woozy all day.

Oh, no.

Well, lucky for you,
I'm a naturopathic healer.

I know just the thing
for you.

Hey.

Good morning.

How are you feeling?

Better.

That treatment you gave me,
it worked wonders.

And what we did afterwards
wasn't too bad either.

Here, drink this.

It'll help get
all the toxins out.

Your ex-boyfriend do that?

You know, if you're
so scared of him,

then why don't you
just move away?

My little boy
is buried here.

I can't leave him.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I gotta get moving today.

I'm meeting a friend
of mine.

Don't!

I have sensitivity
to light.

Please close the curtains.

I have an autoimmune
disorder.

My own body is
attacking my eyes.

Well, uh...are you getting
treatment for it, or...

Herbal remedies help,

but I deserve the pain.

Why do you say that?

It started after Adam,
my little boy, died.

We should have saved him.

You know it was our fault.

The company hasn't had
any direct threats recently.

A coworker of Raymond Nava
said the guys usually partied

at a different work camp
every night,

depending on who had
the moonshine.

Were there outsiders
at these parties?

They had an open-door
policy.

Apparently things got
pretty wild.

[Cell phone rings]

Hey, mama. Tell me
something I don't know.

Oh, hot chocolate,
the things I could spill to you...

Hey, hey,
you're on speaker.

That would help you
solve this case.

I have scoured all of my
Lakota shaman sources

and there isn't a single
healing ritual

that would cause those
circular marks to appear.

What about the petitions
the animal activists were circulating?

Yes, I checked and double-checked
and cross-checked

all the names
and all the checks cleared.

What about that list of herbalists
and naturopaths in the area?

Yeah, and give me a raise,
'cause I found the one guy

who was charged with solanine
poisoning, and it was 7 years ago.

I'm sending you his name
and address now. There it is.

All right, Blake and I
will check it out. Thanks, Garcia.

We have a missing man who fits
the same physical description

as the other two victims.

Chad Dumont's 33.

He's an Air Force captain
from Ohio, here on leave.

Well, he's not a logger.
That changes things.

This can't be about
animal activists and territory.

And there's probably no connection
to the native American community,

though someone wants us
to believe that there is.

His voicemail message
to his best friend was

his last known contact.

Hey, man, don't forget,
Devil's Tower on Sunday.

And I'll pick you up 0900.
Better be ready.

His friend said he never showed.

Since he was military,
Dumont always punctual.

Do we know
where he was staying?

Gantry Motel,
according to his friend,

but the thing is, he checked out
the same night he left that message.

Can you play
the message again?

Yeah.

Hey, man, don't forget,
Devil's Tower on Sunday.

[Clang]
Is that a bell?

...better be ready.

It sounds like
they're in a bar.

Dooley's on Fifth
rings a bell

whenever somebody
leaves a big tip.

Woman:
Yeah, I talked to him.

He wasn't interested then.

What can I say? Some guys
have bad taste.

Undoubtedly.

Did you happen to see where
he went after you spoke to him?

I assume he left.

How long are you
in town for?

Uh...not long enough,
I'm afraid.

Too bad. We could
have had some fun.

Who was that?

That was the fourth
Mrs. Rossi if I'm not careful.

She hit on Chad
when he was here,

but he turned her down.

Well, I just got off the phone
with Chad's sister.

He was a real stand-up guy.

He took care of his family
after their father died.

He got promoted quickly
in the Air Force.

Well, we know he checked out
of the motel after he left the bar,

even though he had
the room reserved

for two more nights.

Now, that only makes sense
if he met someone here.

Hmm. Well, if that's
not his type, who is?

A guy?

If he was gay, his family and
best friend would know about it.

And don't forget about
the use of poison.

So, the unsub is a woman.

His ideal would be
not too aggressive,

less flashy.

Demure.

Given his family history
and career choice,

he's comfortable
in the protective role.

What if someone appealed
to those instincts?

That means we're looking
for a damsel in distress.

It was a mistake.
I made solanine

for someone who asked for
an organic pesticide.

I had absolutely no idea
that he planned to murder

his neighbor's dog with it.

And you never
made it again?

I learned my lesson.
Paid my fine, did my time.

Are there other naturopaths
in this area?

Only 3 who really knew herbs.

Can you tell us
who they are?

No problem.

Excuse me.

Yeah.

Could I see one of the cups

you use for this therapy?

Sure.

You think this is what
caused those marks

on Joseph Purl's back?

The cup's the right diameter.

It's wider than what
I've seen before.

You know, the victims have
the same coloring and build.

Is this all about fertility?

We believe that the unsub
that we're looking for

is a woman who's trying
to get pregnant.

She's experiencing what we call
black widow maternal desire.

She has a desperate
need for a child,

which most likely stems
from the recent loss of one.

That child may have died

or been taken away
in a custody situation.

She's drugging
her male victims

in order to keep them
under her control for 48 hours,

and we believe she's using
them as breeding partners

to help replace the child
that she lost.

Her victims are surrogates
for a male figure in her life,

one she may have already killed.

He could be a boyfriend
or husband

who most likely fathered
the child she lost.

And the signs of torture
indicate that she may blame

the child's father
for this loss

and is exacting her revenge
on these victims.

Blake: After they are dead,

she dismembers them
for easier disposal.

The strength required to do this and
transport body parts,

it's likely that she's working with
a submissive partner

she dominates
with her agenda.

Based on the sophistication
and patience required for these crimes,

we believe this unsub
is probably in her 30s

and no older than
her early 40s

if pregnancy is her goal.

And she works at night,

luring victims
from parties or bars.

She may even have
an illness or feign one

to gain their sympathy.

Jack Dumont's been missing
for almost 30 hours,

and if the unsub keeps to her
schedule, he may still be alive.

But time is of the essence.

Even though the first two
victims are dead,

we can certainly
step up our game

so we can give the victims'
families some answers.

Thank you.

Something weird's going on.

I heard sounds
in room 209.

So?

It's supposed
to be empty.

Do you know anything
about it?

No.

Oh, my God, you do.

Is this place haunted?

Don't know and don't care,

as long as I'm left alone.

Tess' friend didn't
come down for breakfast.

Maybe it's connected
to him.

He checked out last night.

[Labored breathing]

Hey.

[Whispering]
Come get me.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

[Gasping]

[Grunting]

Did I ever tell you
about my Uncle Sal?

He liked to fix up
old cars.

When my Aunt Rosie died,
he bought a 1947 Buick.

Well, it was a piece
of junk, really,

but he was obsessed
with it.

He'd work on it
day and night,

forgetting to eat,

until it was
a thing of beauty.

Then one day,
it got stolen.

When the cops found it,

it had been completely
vandalized.

Uncle Sal was devastated.

Never recovered.

He died about a year later.

I'm sorry about your Uncle.

I’m sorry about Maeve.

So how long has it been
now, 4 months?

3 months and 15 days.

That's why
you're not sleeping.

This can't go on.

I realize that the socially
acceptable amount of time

to wallow in grief
is coming to an end, and--

That's not what I mean.

You wallow as long
as you need,

but talk to someone.

I feel like there are
two types of people

in this world, Rossi.

The ones that get over
their grief and move on

and the ones that descend
into some sort off endless misery.

I know how you feel.

Give it time.

How much time?

I thought by coming
to work every day

and helping other people,
the pain would lessen, but it hasn't.

Compartmentalization
works only so long.

Don't be like Uncle Sal.

You know that I remember
every single word

we ever said to each other?

[Sighs]

Finally, the downside
to an eidetic memory.

Listen...

Spencer...

If you want
to feel better,

you can't control
the process.

You have to let
yourself grieve.

I'm not sleeping
because when--when I do,

I dream of Maeve.

And when I see her,
I feel the sweetest relief imaginable.

She always asks me to dance,

but I can't because
I don't know how to dance,

and because I never even
got to touch her

when she was alive.

I know if I get into
that fantasy, I'll be lost forever,

so I force myself
to wake up.

Is that part
of normal healing?

Ok, so let's not forget
that all of the men,

including the latest,
were from out of town.

They all lived in
temporary spaces,

none of which
were the Ritz.

If the unsub lured these men away
with a promise of sex,

they probably went
to her place.

But Chad Dumont
checked out of his motel.

I mean, how many guys
would do that first

before a one-night stand?

Almost none. They'd want
a place to retreat to.

All right, well, what if
she offered them something

other than
or in addition to sex,

like another hotel room?

Yeah, this town caters
to tourists,

so there's no shortage
of lodging.

So we may be looking for a woman
who owns or works at a hotel.

[Vacuum cleaner running]

[Turns off vacuum]

[Knock on door]

Aah!

No I.D. on her yet.

Prints aren't
in the system,

and no one matching
her description has

been reported missing.

The body parts are pretty
close together this time.

The unsub was in a hurry
or didn't make an effort

to spread them out
like she did before.

Plus the M.O.'s
different.

Female victim without mutilation
or circular marks.

Well, it can't be an evolution.
She wouldn't go

from large men who are
difficult targets to an easier one.

Maybe this victim
just got in the way.

That would explain the lack
of ritual markings.

She didn't generate the same
emotional response in the unsub.

Maybe her partner
did this one alone.

Not hiding the body as long means
it's someone less detail oriented.

I'd say the partner's a male.

Any chance
that this is the unsub?

No, no.
She's way too young.

But we're definitely looking
for a male/female couple.

Dr. Reid.

I was going through old tribal
enforcement records for the past 20 years,

basically minor violations
the reservation handled

internally without the FBI.

Did you find something?

12 years ago, a non-native
was given permission

to stay on the reservation

to study medicinal herbs
with an old shaman.

He was kicked out
when they suspected

he was trying to poison
another student with solanine.

What was his name?
Roger Whitcomb.

There's no listings for him
anymore for him in the area.

Thank you.

[Dialing cell phone]

[Line ringing]

Garcia, there's a name
I need you to check out.

Why are you doing this
to me?

Because I...
I have no choice.

Do you know
what real pain is?

That...hollow ache,

that gaping hole

that comes from
senseless tragedy.

No, you don't.

You live in blissful
ignorance,

like all the happy-go-lucky
people who have no idea

that darkness
is a whisper away.

You remind me of Steven,

my ex-boyfriend,

with that stupid smirk
on your face.

No.

You should have been
looking out for Adam

instead of lying
your cheating ass off.

I'm not your ex.

I'm not Steven.

Please...

Please,
I need a doctor.

Please, I beg of you.

You said the unsub's
partner is probably

a boyfriend or husband.

So is he catching her
sleeping with other men

and tortures and kills them
out of jealousy?

I buy that
happening once,

but anything beyond
that, she's complicit.

If her child died, this could be
pathological grief at work.

[Cell phone rings]

What have you got, Garcia?

I got a whole lot of nothing
on Roger Whitcomb.

It's like he must have left
the area,

'cause there's
zilch after aught-1.

Secondly, there are 82 hotels,
motels, inns, and B&Bs

in the area that are
female managed or owned.

Any of those
who've lost children?

Yeah, there's two of them,
but there's nothing hinky.

There is, however, one woman
with a deceased child

whose husband owns a hotel.

Her name is Tess Mynock,
and she does fit our profile.

She's 38. Her 5-year-old
son Adam died 3 years ago.

And our first victim
was killed the very same week

at the anniversary
of her son's death.

She could be our unsub.
The death of the child the stressor,

the recent anniversary
the trigger.

Her husband owns the
Red Creek Lodge on Farmington Road.

Let's go.

Hang on.

We're almost there.

Calm down.

Calm down.

It's all gonna be fine.

[Labored breathing]

It's all gonna be fine.

Garcia, what else
do we know about Tess?

We know that the father
of her dead son is Steven Colson.

He's an ex-boyfriend,
an abusive one at that,

based on a police report.

He left her after their son died
and he moved to Florida.

According to an article,
he and Tess

were having a lakeside
picnic with their son,

they got in an argument,

they didn't notice that
the boy had wandered off,

and he drowned.

Drink.

It's ok. I'm a doctor.

It's time to kill Steven now.

This is odd.

The most recent info I can get
on Raoul Whalen is from 2002.

Any chance he's actually
Roger Whitcomb,

the guy who was kicked
off the reservation?

Well, it's like
Raoul didn't exist

until 6 months after
Whitcomb disappeared.

It's gotta be
the same guy.

Disposing of the first
victim on the reservation

may have been payback.

If he murdered someone there
12 years ago,

he's not the submissive partner
in the relationship.

And he's resourceful enough
to run a hotel,

which means he can appear
to function normally.

A classic sociopath.

He always had
a murderous impulse.

He took advantage
of Tess' grief

and was able to fulfill
his homicidal fantasies.

Curious and curiouser.

So, uh, Raoul was a naturopath,
and then 10 years ago,

he bought the inn with money
he got from an inheritance.

He still has a website
that he sells his natural remedies on,

and according to his bio,
he cured himself of prostate cancer.

And there is a testimonial
from a Tess M.,

diagnosed with uveitis in 2010.

She can't handle sunlight,
and she says

that without his remedies,
she would be blind.

It could be psychosomatic,

a reaction to her son's
death if it was sunny the day he died.

Morgan: Maybe Tess met Raoul

when she sought treatment
for her disease.

She didn't become
homicidal till he entered her life.

They hit it off
and became a killing duo.

Let out your anger.

You've wanted to do this
for so long.

What happened to Amber?

Don't worry.
I took care of her.

You killed her?

She saw too much.

But Amber was harmless.

Don't be naive.
She would have turned us in.

You never said we would
kill innocent bystanders.

I...

I want to leave now.

Not until you take care
of Steven.

Remember what he did to you.

He's only getting
what he deserves.

I can't do this anymore.

Oh, darling,
that's not the deal we made.

Don't you remember?

You were a wreck
when we met.

No home, no money, no food,

and a dead son to boot.

You were dying
and I saved your life.

I made an honest woman
out of you,

and I took care of you.
Wasn't I generous?

Mm-hmm.

I even allowed you
to take lovers

so you could get
pregnant again.

But you must abide
by the rules.

You must kill your lovers

to protect the sanctity
of our vows.

Didn't you agree to that?

Only because you told me
this would work.

But I'm still not pregnant.

Shh...

You don't know that yet.

Look...

Oh, my God.

Has this all been a lie?

You've been
manipulating me.

You...

You turned me into
a monster.

My poor baby.

He's never coming back.

Oh!

Enough!

Kill him.

Now.

[Grunting]

FBI. Drop the knife.

He slept with my wife.

He's still alive.
We need paramedics

she's not here.

Where's Tess?

A fickle wife

blows like a seed
in the wind.

There's another exit.

Garcia, where did Tess' son die?

Checking now. Uh...

He drowned at Deerfield Lake.
That's an hour outside the city.

[Sirens]

Reid: J.R.R. Tolkien wrote,

"I will not say
do not weep,

for not all tears
are an evil."

It's alchemy.

Hmm?

Alchemy turns common metals
into precious ones.

Dreams work the same way.

Turning something awful
into...

Something better.

I don't know.

I'd like to believe
that, but...

Just think about it.

No. Better yet, don't think.

Just let it happen, Spencer.

I'm gonna get some shuteye.
You should, too.

May I take your order, sir?

Um, I'll have a double
espresso.

And I'll have
a nonfat latte.

Fancy meeting you here.

Hi.

Hi.

Did you know
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

probably sat right here
drinking his coffee

about 130 years ago?

I think he probably
drank tea.

You know, given his comment
that the tea fields of Ceylon

are as true a monument
to courage as is the lion at Waterloo.

Spencer...
And this is Oxford.

Didn't sir Arthur Conan Doyle
go to school

at the University
of Edinburgh?

Are you gonna argue
with everything I say?

No, of course not.

You know, there is such a thing
as too much logic.

[Music plays]

Dance with me.

Why?

I want to hold you once
before I'm a ghost of a memory.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==