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1
00:00:01,228 --> 00:00:03,838
- WOMAN: How often are you having sex?
- Uh, excuse me?
2
00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:05,869
We've been off our game
a little bit lately.
3
00:00:05,890 --> 00:00:07,425
Um, 0.5 times a week.
4
00:00:07,434 --> 00:00:09,250
Last season on "You Me Her"...
5
00:00:09,253 --> 00:00:11,418
JACK: We lied with
disturbing specificity.
6
00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:12,789
Well, you got to lie.
Like, I'm gonna tell
7
00:00:12,801 --> 00:00:14,189
the whole neighborhood we
haven't had sex in two months?
8
00:00:14,191 --> 00:00:15,958
Well, you just did.
9
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:17,173
You need to do it
someone you don't know,
10
00:00:17,175 --> 00:00:19,478
someone who doesn't laugh
when you get your sexy on.
11
00:00:19,495 --> 00:00:21,247
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- I'm talking about an escort.
12
00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:22,259
Hi.
13
00:00:22,281 --> 00:00:23,674
Are you fucking kidding me?
14
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,472
I came clean. Don't I get
points for coming clean?
15
00:00:25,476 --> 00:00:27,317
You get points for
admitting to scarfing down
16
00:00:27,339 --> 00:00:29,197
the second half of my panini, not for
17
00:00:29,317 --> 00:00:30,731
confessing
to spending happy hour
18
00:00:30,735 --> 00:00:32,181
in a hotel room with a hooker.
19
00:00:32,183 --> 00:00:33,365
I met Izzy today.
20
00:00:33,389 --> 00:00:35,114
- Surprise.
- What?
21
00:00:35,152 --> 00:00:37,573
And I probably should've told
you this a long, long time ago.
22
00:00:37,588 --> 00:00:39,159
Izzy.
23
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:40,860
She wasn't my first girl.
24
00:00:40,898 --> 00:00:43,582
JACK: Your stupid moron
plan actually worked.
25
00:00:43,702 --> 00:00:45,299
Emma and I are having crazy sex.
26
00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:46,502
What if it's all Izzy?
27
00:00:46,518 --> 00:00:49,127
We... we agree that this is a business arrangement, right?
28
00:00:49,165 --> 00:00:51,191
IZZY: Well, you know,
I had my date with Emma last night.
29
00:00:51,245 --> 00:00:52,452
It was pretty awesome.
30
00:00:52,572 --> 00:00:55,001
Like a fucking lesbian
romance novel. Blegh!
31
00:00:55,039 --> 00:00:57,509
Whatever the fuck that
is, stop it immediately.
32
00:00:57,805 --> 00:00:59,400
- Mom!
- [GASPS]
33
00:00:59,416 --> 00:01:01,141
- What are you doing?
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
34
00:01:01,712 --> 00:01:03,356
- So, hi.
- So who was that chick
35
00:01:03,377 --> 00:01:05,404
who got dropped off at
your house two nights ago?
36
00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:08,122
I told her she was, uh, my niece.
37
00:01:08,123 --> 00:01:09,678
- Babe, just take a breath.
- I need this.
38
00:01:09,704 --> 00:01:11,386
I want to be dean of this place.
39
00:01:11,393 --> 00:01:12,820
Lori's big on spite.
40
00:01:12,836 --> 00:01:15,796
Lori, who is now, you
know, on the alumni board.
41
00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:17,439
Do you know that she has a boyfriend?
42
00:01:17,450 --> 00:01:18,932
What are you doing here?
43
00:01:18,986 --> 00:01:20,910
- I'm looking for a girl.
- I knew it.
44
00:01:21,030 --> 00:01:24,165
Andy, why'd you follow me
here, to my uncle's house?
45
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,364
You know, I'm getting the
overwhelming sense that, uh,
46
00:01:26,374 --> 00:01:28,186
Jack isn't really
Izzy's uncle, you know.
47
00:01:28,186 --> 00:01:29,209
What?
48
00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:31,106
I fucked Andy.
49
00:01:31,144 --> 00:01:32,809
- [SCREAMS]
- Give me one good reason
50
00:01:32,820 --> 00:01:34,820
why I shouldn't punch
you in the vag right now.
51
00:01:34,940 --> 00:01:37,186
You find Jacqueline Isabelle's last name
52
00:01:37,218 --> 00:01:40,495
and any social networking
site that proves
53
00:01:40,538 --> 00:01:42,957
her and Jack's big sister could pick each
other out of a line-up,
54
00:01:42,962 --> 00:01:43,895
let alone share DNA.
55
00:01:43,911 --> 00:01:45,405
I thought this was supposed to be easy.
56
00:01:45,432 --> 00:01:47,318
I'm not exactly a Photoshop wizard.
57
00:01:47,329 --> 00:01:48,555
It's Ava.
58
00:01:49,022 --> 00:01:51,091
- It worked.
- I love us.
59
00:01:51,397 --> 00:01:54,495
EMMA: Maybe this is doable,
the road less traveled,
60
00:01:54,496 --> 00:01:57,345
- the relationship more populated.
- Pfff.
61
00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,500
- Why does it have to be scary?
- I'm actually confused.
62
00:01:59,501 --> 00:02:00,883
Did you say this was permanent?
63
00:02:00,902 --> 00:02:02,279
I know that you guys feel this
64
00:02:02,303 --> 00:02:04,655
- just as much as I do.
- We have careers.
65
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:07,411
- We have neighbors for God's sake.
- So you're afraid?
66
00:02:07,451 --> 00:02:08,933
Of course we're fucking afraid.
67
00:02:08,940 --> 00:02:10,711
You don't deserve me.
68
00:02:12,786 --> 00:02:14,194
I declined the position.
69
00:02:14,314 --> 00:02:15,683
- Okay.
- And then I resigned.
70
00:02:15,717 --> 00:02:18,310
She's leaving because she fell
in love with you... both of you.
71
00:02:18,319 --> 00:02:19,745
- Go to the airport.
- [HORN BLARING]
72
00:02:20,755 --> 00:02:21,984
Hey, assholes.
73
00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:23,833
We literally raced to the
airport, which is, like,
74
00:02:23,833 --> 00:02:27,013
the... the rom-comiest
of all rom-com tropes.
75
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,142
- And...
- Just to get here.
76
00:02:29,153 --> 00:02:31,195
- But then what?
- We go home.
77
00:02:31,546 --> 00:02:32,839
What?
78
00:02:36,008 --> 00:02:41,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
79
00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:57,053
♪ Run right through ya ♪
80
00:02:57,069 --> 00:02:59,293
♪ Turn my cues up ♪
81
00:02:59,294 --> 00:03:01,214
♪ No excuses ♪
82
00:03:01,236 --> 00:03:04,098
♪ Round and round and
round and here we go ♪
83
00:03:10,741 --> 00:03:12,726
EMMA: Ugh. Did I hunt, capture, and eat
84
00:03:12,747 --> 00:03:14,677
a small cat by any chance?
85
00:03:14,678 --> 00:03:16,180
JACK: Shh.
86
00:03:16,213 --> 00:03:17,366
[SIGHS]
87
00:03:17,684 --> 00:03:19,436
Need painkillers.
88
00:03:19,857 --> 00:03:21,436
Truth.
89
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:28,535
- Are you gonna get them?
- God, no.
90
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,240
Ohh.
91
00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:32,132
Oh, fuck.
92
00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:33,843
[SIGHS] Just fuck in general, or... ?
93
00:03:33,863 --> 00:03:35,646
I quit my job.
94
00:03:35,766 --> 00:03:38,768
Yeah. Yep.
95
00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:42,432
Can't remember the actual
reason. Something about
96
00:03:42,958 --> 00:03:44,527
doing what I want to do,
97
00:03:44,527 --> 00:03:46,030
but I think that's all
I ever wanted to do.
98
00:03:46,043 --> 00:03:48,307
So you do it at another
school, one where they have
99
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:49,964
bigger problems than choosing the color
100
00:03:49,984 --> 00:03:51,981
for their sweet-16 Beemers.
101
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,889
- Solid idea.
- Let's call it a day.
102
00:03:55,786 --> 00:03:57,890
It's all downhill from here.
103
00:04:01,955 --> 00:04:04,226
Izzy. What happened to Izzy?
104
00:04:04,260 --> 00:04:06,917
- Oh, my God, we lost her?
- She could be anywhere by now.
105
00:04:06,931 --> 00:04:09,013
[IZZY GROANS]
106
00:04:09,133 --> 00:04:10,895
[CHUCKLES] Or there.
107
00:04:11,358 --> 00:04:13,288
What's that on her ass?
108
00:04:18,809 --> 00:04:20,013
"Edgy"?
109
00:04:20,083 --> 00:04:22,433
- Oh, God.
- I have one, too?
110
00:04:22,476 --> 00:04:24,280
IZZY: Just go to sleep.
111
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,149
Just stop talking.
112
00:04:26,150 --> 00:04:28,087
It's not "edgy."
113
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,822
It's "E-J-I."
114
00:04:32,624 --> 00:04:34,403
Emma, Jack, Izzy.
115
00:04:35,893 --> 00:04:37,874
How the fuck did this happen?
116
00:04:37,895 --> 00:04:39,276
Oh, fuck.
117
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,960
_
118
00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:45,702
[JET ENGINES WHIRRING]
119
00:04:45,867 --> 00:04:48,076
The adventure begins.
120
00:04:48,524 --> 00:04:51,364
Openly polyamorous adventure.
121
00:04:53,056 --> 00:04:54,161
Yep.
122
00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:56,439
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
123
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:59,860
[LAUGHS]
124
00:05:00,096 --> 00:05:03,345
- Oh, wait, did you...
- Uh, no.
125
00:05:03,465 --> 00:05:06,289
What's happening here, it's
called "couples privilege."
126
00:05:06,409 --> 00:05:08,903
You both assume the unicorn
would ride in the back.
127
00:05:08,950 --> 00:05:10,263
That's me.
128
00:05:10,383 --> 00:05:12,824
The unicorn... the third.
129
00:05:12,837 --> 00:05:14,750
So, should we rotate?
130
00:05:14,870 --> 00:05:17,200
Or where do you want to sit?
131
00:05:17,392 --> 00:05:19,992
Mm, behind the wheel.
132
00:05:20,026 --> 00:05:21,535
Cool.
133
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,267
- You okay with that, Doctor?
- I guess so, yeah.
134
00:05:25,387 --> 00:05:27,187
Ah, thank you.
135
00:05:31,674 --> 00:05:34,046
All right, buckle up, dickhead.
136
00:05:34,086 --> 00:05:36,431
- Oh, that sounds about right.
- What's that, babe?
137
00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:39,065
Nothing. Yes, let's do this.
138
00:05:39,085 --> 00:05:41,894
- Let's do this.
- This is a big-ass car.
139
00:05:42,103 --> 00:05:43,935
Whee!
140
00:05:44,055 --> 00:05:47,014
- Trick or treat!
- Be safe kids.
141
00:05:47,698 --> 00:05:49,668
Aye, there, landlubber.
142
00:05:49,681 --> 00:05:51,170
How you doin', sheriff?
143
00:05:51,290 --> 00:05:53,609
It's tough to tell the stoned
teenagers from the real hookers.
144
00:05:53,872 --> 00:05:56,095
Time to put this little octopus to bed.
145
00:05:56,115 --> 00:05:58,783
[GRUNTS] Up and go.
146
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,518
Oh, good Lord.
147
00:06:01,552 --> 00:06:04,530
Ladies, what is the
actual objective here?
148
00:06:04,557 --> 00:06:07,431
Post-post-post-feminist empowerment.
149
00:06:07,474 --> 00:06:10,610
Mm-hmm. You playing that card? Really?
150
00:06:10,730 --> 00:06:13,957
Hold on, I think I have some
self-esteem in here somewhere.
151
00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:15,354
Good one.
152
00:06:15,387 --> 00:06:17,476
Yeah, I love it when old
people try to be clever.
153
00:06:17,497 --> 00:06:18,895
Totes adorbs.
154
00:06:19,262 --> 00:06:21,491
Let's go, guys.
155
00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:26,636
Oh, look, Lori Matherfield
here in our yard.
156
00:06:26,637 --> 00:06:28,599
Jack-o'-lanterns not up to code?
157
00:06:28,936 --> 00:06:30,324
Ouch.
158
00:06:30,444 --> 00:06:32,131
I guess I deserve that, huh?
159
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:34,002
Hey, I don't want to be a dick here,
160
00:06:34,015 --> 00:06:35,883
but we got to get inside
and put these little
161
00:06:35,902 --> 00:06:38,692
- crustaceans to bed, so...
- I... I... I was wrong
162
00:06:38,714 --> 00:06:40,859
about the Trakarskys.
163
00:06:40,918 --> 00:06:44,291
Oh, no, I wouldn't beat
yourself up too bad about that.
164
00:06:44,309 --> 00:06:45,963
Too late. [CHUCKLES]
165
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:49,267
I'm really sorry for all
of the tumult that I caused.
166
00:06:49,304 --> 00:06:51,029
Water under the bridge. You know what?
167
00:06:51,034 --> 00:06:54,732
It was confusing for all of us,
so... no blood, no foul. Okay?
168
00:06:54,770 --> 00:06:56,637
[CHUCKLES] Please.
169
00:06:56,646 --> 00:06:59,000
As if the Trakarskys
went all sexually deviant
170
00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:00,736
with some college chick
and then crafted this
171
00:07:00,763 --> 00:07:03,210
elaborate cover-up that
she was their niece...
172
00:07:03,210 --> 00:07:04,946
that is just crazy.
173
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:07,021
- It's nut-zoid.
- Like unthinkable.
174
00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:08,319
- Bonkers.
- Outlandish.
175
00:07:08,341 --> 00:07:10,078
Preposterous. You know, they're actually
176
00:07:10,086 --> 00:07:12,164
a very vanilla couple
if you know that term.
177
00:07:12,169 --> 00:07:14,938
- Don't even look at each other naked.
- They think HBO is porn.
178
00:07:14,949 --> 00:07:17,098
- Well, it kind of is.
- Can you believe
179
00:07:17,124 --> 00:07:20,552
that Jack turned down the
promotion and quit his job today?
180
00:07:20,579 --> 00:07:22,638
I mean, who saw that coming?
181
00:07:23,074 --> 00:07:25,451
Oh, you... you didn't know.
182
00:07:25,452 --> 00:07:27,159
- That can't be good.
- How's that,
183
00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:28,356
Dave? What... what does that mean?
184
00:07:28,388 --> 00:07:29,638
- Why is that not good?
- No, he just means...
185
00:07:29,676 --> 00:07:31,951
Mid-life crisis, probably. I don't know.
186
00:07:31,992 --> 00:07:33,474
What's next? Ultimate Frisbee?
187
00:07:33,498 --> 00:07:34,947
- Hydroponics?
- Skinny jeans?
188
00:07:34,963 --> 00:07:36,472
- Frosted tips?
- Ironic mustache?
189
00:07:36,510 --> 00:07:38,746
[HORN HONKS]
190
00:07:41,581 --> 00:07:43,202
So, that happened.
191
00:07:43,322 --> 00:07:45,003
Was that the niece? I thought they said
192
00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:46,742
she was leaving for, uh...
193
00:07:46,774 --> 00:07:47,820
- Jack.
- Emma.
194
00:07:47,836 --> 00:07:49,221
- Emma.
- Jack or Emma.
195
00:07:49,222 --> 00:07:50,984
Probably one of the two
Trakar... That's the Trakarsky...
196
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,617
- A Trakarsky was driving that car.
- ... family vehicle, yeah.
197
00:07:52,643 --> 00:07:54,341
Wouldn't have been the
third one. She left town.
198
00:07:54,461 --> 00:07:55,848
- Izzy.
- Jack's niece.
199
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,659
- Yeah.
- Okay, I'm gonna...
200
00:07:58,252 --> 00:08:00,445
You people are still
just a little strange.
201
00:08:00,467 --> 00:08:02,234
- All right, nighty-night.
- Great.
202
00:08:03,188 --> 00:08:04,924
Now what the fuck?
203
00:08:27,982 --> 00:08:29,382
[LAUGHS]
204
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:33,386
♪
205
00:09:07,857 --> 00:09:10,333
I thought I lost you.
206
00:09:25,239 --> 00:09:30,243
♪
207
00:09:35,382 --> 00:09:37,050
[DOOR OPENS]
208
00:09:37,718 --> 00:09:40,095
What is up, hooker?
209
00:09:41,518 --> 00:09:43,813
Were you just watching me sleep?
210
00:09:43,820 --> 00:09:47,236
Ah, the boundless
narcissism of adolescence.
211
00:09:47,261 --> 00:09:49,432
So, did you know Jack Trakarsky
212
00:09:49,459 --> 00:09:52,006
declined his promotion
and quit his job yesterday?
213
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:55,469
'Cause the Amaris, they
didn't know anything about it.
214
00:09:57,949 --> 00:09:59,872
That doesn't make any sense.
215
00:09:59,873 --> 00:10:01,476
If he didn't want to be dean,
216
00:10:01,482 --> 00:10:03,330
why go through the whole process?
217
00:10:03,379 --> 00:10:06,214
Including, I might
add, taking vats of shit
218
00:10:06,225 --> 00:10:07,502
from a vindictive neighbor,
219
00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:09,101
and then back out at the last second.
220
00:10:09,103 --> 00:10:11,808
See, that's exactly what I'm wondering.
221
00:10:16,152 --> 00:10:17,720
Fuck!
222
00:10:26,446 --> 00:10:28,386
What are you, taking a shift for Lori?
223
00:10:28,731 --> 00:10:30,289
Is this 'cause she laughed
at one of your jokes?
224
00:10:30,295 --> 00:10:31,906
Hey, what do I get if
I pretend you're funny?
225
00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:33,307
Maybe an oral presentation?
226
00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:35,016
I shouldn't be vague about
something this important.
227
00:10:35,053 --> 00:10:36,277
I'm talking about a blowjob.
228
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:37,710
It's almost 2:00 in the afternoon,
229
00:10:37,732 --> 00:10:39,656
and they haven't even
come out for the paper yet.
230
00:10:39,678 --> 00:10:41,176
Called Emma like seven times.
231
00:10:41,197 --> 00:10:42,971
Honey, I'm going to play one-on-one
232
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,245
with Jack in a half an
hour. You want to come watch?
233
00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:48,489
Uh, yeah, you don't want that, babe.
234
00:10:48,543 --> 00:10:50,523
What? Are you kidding me? Come on.
235
00:10:50,689 --> 00:10:52,182
You're not turned on by the idea of me
236
00:10:52,192 --> 00:10:53,696
waging battle on the court
and sweating a lot more
237
00:10:53,723 --> 00:10:56,186
- than everybody else?
- No, it's cool.
238
00:10:56,995 --> 00:10:59,613
- It's professional.
- I can't. I just can't.
239
00:10:59,632 --> 00:11:01,706
You know, this is all
standard issue top to bottom.
240
00:11:01,735 --> 00:11:03,210
This is what the pros wear.
241
00:11:05,072 --> 00:11:07,778
The shorts are too long for
my body, though. I get that.
242
00:11:11,491 --> 00:11:13,545
[COUGHING]
243
00:11:13,712 --> 00:11:16,096
I feel like we should've worked
our way up to that, you know?
244
00:11:16,216 --> 00:11:17,457
[CHUCKLES]
245
00:11:17,501 --> 00:11:20,642
- My dick is broken.
- [LAUGHS]
246
00:11:20,691 --> 00:11:22,098
I think we're gonna have to
247
00:11:22,125 --> 00:11:25,041
MacGyver some sort of penis splint.
248
00:11:25,397 --> 00:11:28,043
I feel like I have full-body hernia.
249
00:11:28,107 --> 00:11:29,940
Yeah, I'm so winded.
250
00:11:30,060 --> 00:11:32,322
I feel like I need to back off the weed
251
00:11:32,344 --> 00:11:34,542
or go for a walk or eat something
252
00:11:34,596 --> 00:11:37,814
that doesn't come delivered
in a cardboard box probably.
253
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,824
[CLEARS THROAT]
254
00:11:41,108 --> 00:11:43,991
That being said, you
guys want to go again?
255
00:11:44,282 --> 00:11:47,429
Mm, as long as I don't have
to move or do anything at all.
256
00:11:47,451 --> 00:11:49,866
I mean that. I mean
that literally. Like...
257
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:51,918
like I'm a blow-up doll.
258
00:11:52,038 --> 00:11:55,039
- [CHUCKLES]
- I can't feel my tongue.
259
00:11:56,790 --> 00:11:58,192
Am I talking funny?
260
00:11:58,312 --> 00:11:59,431
- No.
- No.
261
00:12:00,994 --> 00:12:03,463
[DOORBELL RINGS]
262
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,778
I guess there is a world out there.
263
00:12:10,155 --> 00:12:11,567
Mm.
264
00:12:14,875 --> 00:12:18,878
♪
265
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,925
You know we have nothing
to feel guilty about, right?
266
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,124
Spoiler alert...
267
00:12:35,356 --> 00:12:38,778
guilt's not a huge
issue in my life. So...
268
00:12:44,005 --> 00:12:46,074
I see you, Nina Martone.
269
00:12:47,098 --> 00:12:48,531
I see you.
270
00:12:50,967 --> 00:12:52,293
[SCOFFS]
271
00:12:52,967 --> 00:12:55,215
Okay, I'm gonna yack all over you.
272
00:12:55,216 --> 00:12:56,880
Mm.
273
00:12:57,764 --> 00:12:59,516
Guys pay you for that?
274
00:13:00,249 --> 00:13:02,170
I really want to say no, but...
275
00:13:02,341 --> 00:13:04,082
God, please do.
276
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,482
I'm kidding, dumb-ass.
277
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:15,055
Were you drunk this time?
278
00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:21,559
No.
279
00:13:24,717 --> 00:13:26,064
Me neither.
280
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:36,723
[CELLPHONE CLICKING]
281
00:13:37,058 --> 00:13:39,138
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
282
00:13:40,906 --> 00:13:43,326
♪ Could it be that I'm just caught up? ♪
283
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,724
Sh... she promised to call,
284
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:49,891
and I've been texting since
last night, and nothing.
285
00:13:49,951 --> 00:13:52,020
- So...
- Neen.
286
00:13:53,151 --> 00:13:54,677
I think her plane crashed.
287
00:13:55,296 --> 00:13:56,859
You really think that her plane crashed?
288
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:58,579
Well, obviously not. Okay, it's just...
289
00:13:58,595 --> 00:14:01,758
Her fiery death is better
than getting shut down?
290
00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,468
Okay. Okay.
291
00:14:06,588 --> 00:14:08,839
You know what? I'm not usually
one for next-day hugging.
292
00:14:08,839 --> 00:14:10,893
Yeah, yeah, okay.
293
00:14:16,788 --> 00:14:18,165
I do think you're right.
294
00:14:18,615 --> 00:14:20,366
Her plane almost certainly did crash.
295
00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:22,188
[CHUCKLES]
296
00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,539
[DOORBELL RINGS RAPIDLY]
297
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:35,748
Okay, I'm... I'm... I'm
gonna keep this simple.
298
00:14:36,804 --> 00:14:39,245
What the... the fuck?
299
00:14:39,639 --> 00:14:43,012
Uh, could you possibly keep
it a little less simple?
300
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,631
So, you told me that this was over.
301
00:14:45,642 --> 00:14:48,328
And now Izzy's back, Jack quit his job?
302
00:14:48,329 --> 00:14:49,835
Wait a second... did you quit your job
303
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,338
so that this wouldn't have to be over?
304
00:14:51,365 --> 00:14:53,732
No, I... I quit my job...
305
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,038
um...
306
00:14:56,539 --> 00:14:58,405
I can't remember, but it was
something really profound.
307
00:14:58,525 --> 00:15:01,798
- Oh, shit. Um, I got to go.
- What's up?
308
00:15:01,825 --> 00:15:03,967
Nina's been texting since last night.
309
00:15:03,994 --> 00:15:06,665
Pretty sure I'm walking
into a serious ass-kicking.
310
00:15:07,053 --> 00:15:08,734
Hey, Jack.
311
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,502
Did you have any engagements today
312
00:15:10,507 --> 00:15:12,081
that you may have forgotten about?
313
00:15:12,102 --> 00:15:15,042
Here's a clue. My husband's
wearing oversized shorts,
314
00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:16,974
knee socks, a headband. And God damn it,
315
00:15:16,985 --> 00:15:18,764
do you know how hard
it is to unsee that shit
316
00:15:18,791 --> 00:15:21,550
- so I can have sex with him again?
- Totally forgot about that.
317
00:15:21,970 --> 00:15:23,081
Fuck.
318
00:15:23,512 --> 00:15:25,241
By the way, I agree
with you on the outfit.
319
00:15:25,284 --> 00:15:28,006
As a man, I am embarrassed by him.
320
00:15:28,346 --> 00:15:29,698
Bye.
321
00:15:32,324 --> 00:15:33,811
- Bye.
- Bye.
322
00:15:35,347 --> 00:15:36,333
Bye, Carmen.
323
00:15:36,355 --> 00:15:37,908
- Bye, Izzy.
- Have a nice day.
324
00:15:37,924 --> 00:15:40,625
- Is that your bra?
- No, that's mine.
325
00:15:40,745 --> 00:15:42,139
So, what are you saying?
You don't dig this either?
326
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,747
Carmen said this was, like,
sexually off-putting to her.
327
00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:46,801
How is that possible? It's
regulation top to bottom.
328
00:15:46,876 --> 00:15:48,008
Look at this. You can get a little
329
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:50,497
- nipple slip on the side for free.
- That is absurd.
330
00:15:50,525 --> 00:15:52,626
- Absurd?
- It's like a little retro, too.
331
00:15:52,664 --> 00:15:54,270
You look like you're in,
like, a '70s porn movie.
332
00:15:54,636 --> 00:15:56,835
That's exactly what I was going for.
333
00:15:56,846 --> 00:15:58,340
And you know what? At
least I showed up on time
334
00:15:58,345 --> 00:16:00,094
- to play in some games.
- [SIGHS] Sorry, man.
335
00:16:00,103 --> 00:16:01,741
Ridiculous. Your time
management is ridiculous.
336
00:16:01,772 --> 00:16:03,004
- Okay, fine, just go.
- So what's the deal?
337
00:16:03,039 --> 00:16:04,707
The three of you are
back together now? Huh?
338
00:16:05,001 --> 00:16:05,962
For how long?
339
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,165
You gonna play out this whole
four-week contract, or what?
340
00:16:08,661 --> 00:16:10,001
In.
341
00:16:10,967 --> 00:16:12,339
Actually, she's moving in.
342
00:16:12,351 --> 00:16:13,947
We're throupling.
343
00:16:14,797 --> 00:16:16,374
- Throupling?
- Yeah, it's a word.
344
00:16:16,387 --> 00:16:18,293
If that's a word, it is fucking stupid,
345
00:16:18,305 --> 00:16:19,547
and you should never use it.
346
00:16:19,573 --> 00:16:21,466
Although, I mean, this whole
thing is fucking stupid.
347
00:16:21,479 --> 00:16:23,570
So why shouldn't you make
up your own vocabulary.
348
00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:25,053
- It's not stupid.
- Off.
349
00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:27,093
Are you seriously worried
350
00:16:27,094 --> 00:16:29,663
that your children will be scarred
because three consenting adults
351
00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:30,999
live across the street from you?
352
00:16:31,051 --> 00:16:33,344
I am, which surprises
me, and I resent it.
353
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,371
I blame you for making me feel uncool
354
00:16:35,397 --> 00:16:39,148
in a highly Matherfield kind of way.
355
00:16:40,062 --> 00:16:42,412
We've exposed your inner Lori.
356
00:16:43,175 --> 00:16:44,680
That is cruel.
357
00:16:44,861 --> 00:16:45,917
More.
358
00:16:45,935 --> 00:16:47,504
We're in love. I'm in
love with both of them.
359
00:16:47,668 --> 00:16:49,233
Oh, you're in love with both of them?
360
00:16:49,401 --> 00:16:50,625
Equally?
361
00:16:50,918 --> 00:16:53,027
Your wife of nine years
and the escort you hired
362
00:16:53,066 --> 00:16:55,148
five minutes ago... you love
them both the same, even Steven?
363
00:16:55,157 --> 00:16:56,389
Yeah, that seems reasonable.
364
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,248
Remember that I said this, Jackson.
365
00:16:58,368 --> 00:16:59,813
This is all gonna end
very badly for you.
366
00:16:59,826 --> 00:17:00,938
Thanks for the support, man.
367
00:17:00,939 --> 00:17:02,753
It's a bit more ominous
than I expected, but thanks.
368
00:17:02,766 --> 00:17:05,139
- What friends are for. Off.
- Swish.
369
00:17:05,376 --> 00:17:07,512
This is right here. You
know what I'm saying?
370
00:17:07,513 --> 00:17:10,393
Our long-time best
friends, who live directly
371
00:17:10,409 --> 00:17:12,868
across the street,
invite some college chick
372
00:17:12,884 --> 00:17:14,716
into their marriage on a full-time basis
373
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:17,562
to live in their house
and sleep in their bed.
374
00:17:17,589 --> 00:17:18,986
I'm just... I'm not down with it,
375
00:17:19,007 --> 00:17:20,925
and that makes me feel
douchey, which, again,
376
00:17:20,926 --> 00:17:22,300
I fucking resent.
377
00:17:23,796 --> 00:17:25,027
Look at me.
378
00:17:25,464 --> 00:17:26,747
So now you're hitting on me
379
00:17:26,763 --> 00:17:28,530
- like that's gonna fix everything?
- Carmen, look at me.
380
00:17:29,684 --> 00:17:30,935
- Look at me.
- Whatever.
381
00:17:30,936 --> 00:17:32,379
Look at me.
382
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,006
You have never been cool.
383
00:17:35,564 --> 00:17:37,542
I'm shocked to hear you think otherwise.
384
00:17:37,543 --> 00:17:38,894
[CHUCKLES]
385
00:17:39,137 --> 00:17:41,562
Hey, let's find out how
that blouse looks in red.
386
00:17:41,584 --> 00:17:43,093
Come here.
387
00:17:44,279 --> 00:17:45,798
Okay, fine.
388
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,885
If you need to feel me
up, I won't fight it.
389
00:17:47,886 --> 00:17:50,352
Oh, but it might be
more fun if you struggle.
390
00:17:50,379 --> 00:17:53,403
- God, you are such a perv now.
- I know.
391
00:17:53,435 --> 00:17:55,785
You know Emma was into
chicks in college, right?
392
00:17:55,957 --> 00:17:58,130
Yeah. I think I'd know that.
393
00:17:58,163 --> 00:17:59,520
She's my fucking wife, so
I know everything about her.
394
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:01,024
Okay, so you've known the whole time?
395
00:18:01,035 --> 00:18:02,324
[SIGHS] No, she told me right after
396
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,566
- she made out with Izzy in the bathroom.
- Oh, okay.
397
00:18:04,592 --> 00:18:07,638
So Carmen, she told years ago,
398
00:18:07,847 --> 00:18:10,573
- but you, she kept it a secret from.
- What's your point?
399
00:18:10,578 --> 00:18:12,340
I'm just saying, she seemed pretty eager
400
00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:13,779
to get back on that bike.
401
00:18:13,779 --> 00:18:16,243
Seemed to remember how to
ride it pretty good, too.
402
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:18,108
- Off.
- What are you saying? That she's...
403
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,715
like, Emma's like gay-gay?
404
00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:22,107
Like the last 11 years with
me was just an experiment?
405
00:18:22,161 --> 00:18:25,869
No, maybe she's right
down the middle, 50/50,
406
00:18:26,257 --> 00:18:28,963
equal-opportunity bisexual. Or...
407
00:18:30,155 --> 00:18:32,725
maybe she decided she likes
one flavor more than another,
408
00:18:32,765 --> 00:18:34,542
if you catch my drift. Off.
409
00:18:36,030 --> 00:18:38,803
- What are you getting at?
- We both know what you need to do.
410
00:18:38,923 --> 00:18:40,787
Maybe you can give me a hint.
411
00:18:43,024 --> 00:18:45,390
Get some chloroform
and a rag and a crate,
412
00:18:45,422 --> 00:18:47,890
and you ship Miss Sex
Fairy back to Botslavia.
413
00:18:47,912 --> 00:18:49,380
That is so offensive.
414
00:18:49,381 --> 00:18:51,269
- First of all, I mean, chloroform?
- Offensive to who?
415
00:18:51,283 --> 00:18:52,754
People from Botslavia?
That's not a real place.
416
00:18:52,784 --> 00:18:54,936
Jesus Christ, man. Think
about what you're saying.
417
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:57,354
The point I'm making is you
hightail her ass out of here.
418
00:18:57,474 --> 00:18:59,665
Nobody's taking anybody anywhere, okay?
419
00:18:59,678 --> 00:19:01,377
This is happening. We are happening.
420
00:19:01,838 --> 00:19:02,994
Wipe that look off your face.
421
00:19:03,028 --> 00:19:05,211
I don't want to see that
look. We are happening.
422
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,765
You really sound like you're
trying to convince somebody.
423
00:19:07,766 --> 00:19:10,494
- Is it me, or is it you?
- I'm not trying to convince anybody.
424
00:19:11,036 --> 00:19:12,941
You do remember we're
having everybody over
425
00:19:12,957 --> 00:19:14,213
for the game tomorrow, right?
426
00:19:14,773 --> 00:19:16,774
The Matherfields are coming.
427
00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:18,924
Gabe and Marie, too.
428
00:19:18,988 --> 00:19:20,712
Oh. Don't be ridiculous.
429
00:19:21,046 --> 00:19:22,297
You know I live for
430
00:19:22,367 --> 00:19:25,029
parties built around
televised sporting...
431
00:19:25,676 --> 00:19:27,860
- matches.
- Football. It's called football.
432
00:19:27,864 --> 00:19:30,678
Mm, and I've thought of little
else since you invited us.
433
00:19:31,239 --> 00:19:33,080
Yeah, well, the point is...
434
00:19:34,098 --> 00:19:35,671
are you bringing Izzy?
435
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,318
[BANG ON DOOR]
436
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,077
Margaritas and drive-through burritos.
437
00:19:44,269 --> 00:19:47,044
I remember when that was
our thing, like a week ago.
438
00:19:47,847 --> 00:19:49,243
It just had to be the tequila.
439
00:19:49,302 --> 00:19:50,698
Cuervo's law.
440
00:19:51,076 --> 00:19:54,670
Where the fuck have you been?
441
00:19:55,090 --> 00:19:56,626
They came after me.
442
00:19:56,853 --> 00:19:59,149
It was super-romantic. It was like...
443
00:19:59,171 --> 00:20:00,561
- Ow!
- And you didn't call and tell me this?
444
00:20:00,594 --> 00:20:03,316
You couldn't respond to
just one of my 8,000 texts?
445
00:20:03,337 --> 00:20:04,776
What about you?
446
00:20:04,976 --> 00:20:07,402
Breaking all kinds of girl code with
447
00:20:07,429 --> 00:20:11,099
Andy's penis and burritos and tequila.
448
00:20:11,115 --> 00:20:12,657
Best scavenger hunt ever.
449
00:20:13,454 --> 00:20:15,222
Okay, look, if you guys want
me to go, I could just...
450
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:16,369
- Go.
- Go.
451
00:20:16,574 --> 00:20:17,635
Whoa.
452
00:20:17,636 --> 00:20:18,962
Sorry, Boo.
453
00:20:19,233 --> 00:20:20,151
Boo?
454
00:20:20,229 --> 00:20:21,350
Yeah, I'm bringing it back.
455
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:22,949
- Really?
- Really.
456
00:20:22,979 --> 00:20:25,858
- Ugh!
- [GAGS, COUGHS]
457
00:20:26,541 --> 00:20:27,331
Ow!
458
00:20:27,412 --> 00:20:28,994
- Okay, bye.
- [COUGHS]
459
00:20:29,016 --> 00:20:31,538
God, do you know how
ridiculous you sound?
460
00:20:32,251 --> 00:20:34,586
- [GRUNTS]
- [SCREAMS]
461
00:20:35,409 --> 00:20:38,366
- [GROANING]
- How does that feel, huh?
462
00:20:38,524 --> 00:20:39,857
[MUFFLED SCREAM]
463
00:20:39,858 --> 00:20:41,192
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
464
00:20:41,193 --> 00:20:42,682
Stop, fuck, truce!
465
00:20:42,861 --> 00:20:43,984
Ow!
466
00:20:44,367 --> 00:20:45,510
Ow.
467
00:20:45,795 --> 00:20:47,037
Ow, I should have seen that coming.
468
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:48,494
Obvious counter-move.
469
00:20:48,559 --> 00:20:49,800
[SIGHS] Ouch.
470
00:20:49,801 --> 00:20:51,181
See how worried I've been?
471
00:20:51,215 --> 00:20:52,803
I hoped your plane crashed.
472
00:20:52,923 --> 00:20:55,518
- You mean you thought my plane crashed?
- No, I hoped
473
00:20:55,548 --> 00:20:58,044
your plane crashed because
that's the only acceptable excuse
474
00:20:58,052 --> 00:20:59,467
for not fucking calling me.
475
00:21:00,208 --> 00:21:01,588
You're right. I'm sorry.
476
00:21:02,204 --> 00:21:03,414
Well, you should be.
477
00:21:03,842 --> 00:21:05,278
You're cleaning that shit up.
478
00:21:05,502 --> 00:21:06,645
I will.
479
00:21:18,252 --> 00:21:20,015
[BOTH SIGH]
480
00:21:23,745 --> 00:21:25,789
So, what's going on with you?
481
00:21:25,806 --> 00:21:27,794
You dating the Griswolds or what?
482
00:21:34,382 --> 00:21:35,908
What are you doing?
483
00:21:39,663 --> 00:21:40,904
My November rent.
484
00:21:41,504 --> 00:21:44,031
Only fair, 'cause I
didn't give you any notice.
485
00:21:44,914 --> 00:21:45,833
No.
486
00:21:46,092 --> 00:21:47,325
[SCOFFS]
487
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:50,524
Yes.
488
00:21:50,718 --> 00:21:52,491
Don't bother inviting me to any of the
489
00:21:52,525 --> 00:21:54,470
dumb-ass block parties
or barbecues, okay?
490
00:21:54,487 --> 00:21:57,225
Come on, Nin. We're best friends.
491
00:21:57,225 --> 00:21:58,752
Did you seriously just BFF me,
492
00:21:58,769 --> 00:22:01,304
- you condescending little carpet muncher?
- Homophobia...
493
00:22:01,567 --> 00:22:03,856
- that's very classy.
- Fuck off.
494
00:22:04,313 --> 00:22:06,091
- Nina, come on.
- You know what?
495
00:22:06,111 --> 00:22:08,302
Suddenly I don't give a shit, okay?
496
00:22:08,345 --> 00:22:09,561
So get out,
497
00:22:09,681 --> 00:22:12,048
'cause I got to get pretty for your ex.
498
00:22:12,114 --> 00:22:14,671
Yeah, tequila makes us really frisky.
499
00:22:17,184 --> 00:22:18,633
That's very sweet.
500
00:22:22,224 --> 00:22:24,551
Hope it works out for you, rebound girl.
501
00:22:26,604 --> 00:22:28,725
Yeah, you better fucking run!
502
00:22:29,434 --> 00:22:32,614
♪
503
00:22:49,243 --> 00:22:54,447
- ♪ A word never hurt ♪
- [DOOR OPENS]
504
00:22:58,526 --> 00:22:59,729
Hey, babe.
505
00:23:01,199 --> 00:23:02,221
Hey.
506
00:23:03,691 --> 00:23:05,450
Uh-oh, what happened here?
507
00:23:06,274 --> 00:23:07,805
You're gonna need that.
508
00:23:08,136 --> 00:23:09,037
Okay.
509
00:23:09,072 --> 00:23:10,357
Told him to keep them coming.
510
00:23:10,681 --> 00:23:12,845
I said, "Keep them coming, sugar tits."
511
00:23:13,737 --> 00:23:15,264
Always wanted to say that.
512
00:23:15,277 --> 00:23:17,217
Only I didn't say "sugar tits."
513
00:23:17,269 --> 00:23:19,925
I hope not. Otherwise these
would probably be urine shots.
514
00:23:19,951 --> 00:23:22,046
[CHUCKLES] Yum.
515
00:23:22,554 --> 00:23:24,223
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
516
00:23:24,430 --> 00:23:26,825
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING IN BACKGROUND]
517
00:23:28,413 --> 00:23:29,379
Hey, you.
518
00:23:29,401 --> 00:23:30,595
- Hey.
- Hi.
519
00:23:30,829 --> 00:23:32,651
Wow, it went well for you, too, huh?
520
00:23:32,771 --> 00:23:33,863
Yep.
521
00:23:34,923 --> 00:23:37,148
It was fucking awesome.
522
00:23:37,790 --> 00:23:40,627
After jamming most of my
own hand down my throat,
523
00:23:40,670 --> 00:23:43,528
my best friend called me
a homewrecking psychopath
524
00:23:43,528 --> 00:23:46,124
and then threw me out
so she could pork my ex.
525
00:23:46,762 --> 00:23:48,689
- Such a complicated friendship.
- Mm.
526
00:23:49,452 --> 00:23:51,543
The fighting part used to be fun.
527
00:23:52,190 --> 00:23:54,742
You know, Dave also cast
you as the homewrecker.
528
00:23:54,803 --> 00:23:56,308
Sweet. Do tell.
529
00:23:56,342 --> 00:23:58,374
Yeah, he said you are a sex fairy
530
00:23:58,585 --> 00:24:01,599
and that we should pack you
up and ship you far, far away.
531
00:24:02,707 --> 00:24:03,889
A sex fairy?
532
00:24:03,893 --> 00:24:05,342
- I know.
- Carmen...
533
00:24:05,412 --> 00:24:07,024
Carmen came this close to saying
534
00:24:07,037 --> 00:24:08,994
that we don't belong in
the neighborhood anymore.
535
00:24:09,171 --> 00:24:11,883
Yeah, and then she blamed me
for making her feel uncool.
536
00:24:12,003 --> 00:24:13,336
[SCOFFS]
537
00:24:13,456 --> 00:24:16,233
Bougie, judgmental, suburban assholes.
538
00:24:16,353 --> 00:24:17,487
So, are we getting fucked up?
539
00:24:17,940 --> 00:24:18,943
Apparently so.
540
00:24:19,009 --> 00:24:20,611
Yeah, and you know what? After,
541
00:24:20,731 --> 00:24:22,778
we're gonna egg some houses, bitches.
542
00:24:23,084 --> 00:24:23,817
- Mnh-mnh.
- Yes.
543
00:24:23,838 --> 00:24:24,727
- Well... no.
- Mnh-mnh.
544
00:24:24,740 --> 00:24:26,741
- I don't think that's a good idea.
- No, I will not be doing that.
545
00:24:26,775 --> 00:24:28,314
- Why?
- Bitches won't be egging any houses.
546
00:24:28,335 --> 00:24:30,465
But I do agree with the sentiment.
547
00:24:30,905 --> 00:24:32,556
[SIGHS] What's the sentiment?
548
00:24:32,970 --> 00:24:35,493
You walked out of the
Hamilton School for a reason.
549
00:24:35,734 --> 00:24:38,286
Right. What was my statement?
550
00:24:38,636 --> 00:24:40,364
Wh... what was it, again?
551
00:24:40,598 --> 00:24:42,827
It was a declaration of independence.
552
00:24:43,111 --> 00:24:45,495
Yeah, right. We'll go
with that, definitely.
553
00:24:46,237 --> 00:24:49,160
Yeah, I mean, we... people,
we're making a choice.
554
00:24:49,798 --> 00:24:52,579
This is our life.
555
00:24:53,670 --> 00:24:54,845
Our lives.
556
00:24:54,846 --> 00:24:58,236
These are our...
557
00:24:59,577 --> 00:25:00,586
- lives.
- Honey.
558
00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:01,927
Come on, you know what I mean.
559
00:25:02,047 --> 00:25:03,633
I'm... I'm pretty drunk.
560
00:25:03,646 --> 00:25:06,660
- You're drunk but right. Fucking testify.
- Yeah. Yeah, okay.
561
00:25:06,682 --> 00:25:08,994
I'll testify. We're
gonna walk into that party
562
00:25:09,198 --> 00:25:11,634
with our hands high and our heads held.
563
00:25:11,688 --> 00:25:13,774
- It's the reverse, but, yes.
- That was right.
564
00:25:13,801 --> 00:25:15,764
- Yeah, the sentiment was there.
- Yeah. Yeah.
565
00:25:15,767 --> 00:25:18,170
Yeah, because we are
taxpaying adult citizens.
566
00:25:18,179 --> 00:25:20,455
- Right, some of us are.
- Yeah.
567
00:25:20,503 --> 00:25:22,770
Okay, well, I... I got
paid in cash. But whatever.
568
00:25:22,783 --> 00:25:24,663
You know what I mean.
This is our choice,
569
00:25:24,835 --> 00:25:26,487
and this is what we want.
570
00:25:26,607 --> 00:25:29,227
- Am I right, people? I am right.
- You are right.
571
00:25:29,262 --> 00:25:31,655
Could you possibly
keep it down over there?
572
00:25:31,883 --> 00:25:33,134
[CHUCKLES]
573
00:25:33,168 --> 00:25:36,562
- Could you possibly blow me, Ann Coulter?
- [WOMAN GASPS]
574
00:25:38,110 --> 00:25:39,769
- [CHUCKLES] That was awesome.
- Yikes.
575
00:25:39,791 --> 00:25:41,046
A little bit scary.
576
00:25:41,076 --> 00:25:43,085
Um, okay. Is the... speech is over?
577
00:25:43,094 --> 00:25:44,555
'Cause my arm's getting
tired. Can we drink these?
578
00:25:44,563 --> 00:25:45,637
Let's do it.
579
00:25:45,956 --> 00:25:46,866
Cheers, guys.
580
00:25:48,427 --> 00:25:49,345
Mm-hmm.
581
00:25:49,401 --> 00:25:50,246
Mm.
582
00:25:51,808 --> 00:25:54,045
So now we need to make our statement.
583
00:25:54,407 --> 00:25:55,904
Right, like a protest.
584
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,008
Protest. Protest.
585
00:25:58,167 --> 00:26:01,936
It... It needs to be
something that says,
586
00:26:02,638 --> 00:26:04,436
- "Fuck all y'all."
- Yeah.
587
00:26:05,023 --> 00:26:07,179
Yeah, like, something like...
588
00:26:07,580 --> 00:26:09,473
something like fuck all y'all!
589
00:26:09,525 --> 00:26:12,306
That was exactly the same
thing, just yelling it louder.
590
00:26:12,390 --> 00:26:14,642
- Mm-hmm.
- Think maybe, like, a new statement?
591
00:26:15,362 --> 00:26:17,263
What is our statement? It's...
592
00:26:17,317 --> 00:26:18,928
- just do it.
- Um...
593
00:26:18,955 --> 00:26:20,691
- Just...
- Do it.
594
00:26:20,732 --> 00:26:22,523
- Just do it.
- No, 'cause I think that's taken.
595
00:26:22,549 --> 00:26:24,149
- That's taken.
- Well, three's, uh...
596
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:25,847
- Um...
- Three's not company.
597
00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:28,420
... a crowd, but not now.
598
00:26:28,626 --> 00:26:31,675
Poly power. Domestic bliss with a twist.
599
00:26:31,676 --> 00:26:34,078
Thrice for the throuple.
600
00:26:34,258 --> 00:26:36,647
- Three's...
- Thrice for the throuple!
601
00:26:36,648 --> 00:26:38,748
Do you know the word
"cunt" used to be...
602
00:26:38,750 --> 00:26:41,512
it meant "cozy" when Chaucer used it.
603
00:26:41,550 --> 00:26:42,886
Excuse me, buddy?
604
00:26:42,887 --> 00:26:44,169
Can we have a couple more?
605
00:26:44,289 --> 00:26:46,877
- Mm. No.
- Oh. So, V.V.P.
606
00:26:46,892 --> 00:26:48,283
You down with V.V.P.?
607
00:26:48,309 --> 00:26:49,966
- Vagina, vagina, penis?
- Yeah.
608
00:26:49,991 --> 00:26:51,725
- No.
- Yeah, you know me?
609
00:26:52,219 --> 00:26:55,447
V.V.P.! Yeah, you know me! I love it.
610
00:26:55,489 --> 00:26:57,102
Oh, my God, these are
the worst statements ever.
611
00:26:57,123 --> 00:26:58,654
I know. Um...
612
00:26:58,675 --> 00:26:59,943
I got nothing.
613
00:27:02,431 --> 00:27:03,656
You know what?
614
00:27:04,009 --> 00:27:06,406
Let's just keep drinking and just...
615
00:27:06,463 --> 00:27:08,721
and... and let the
statement reveal itself.
616
00:27:08,841 --> 00:27:10,489
- Right, yeah.
- Barkeep.
617
00:27:10,696 --> 00:27:11,735
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
618
00:27:15,295 --> 00:27:16,822
[EXHALES]
619
00:27:17,122 --> 00:27:18,722
[HORN HONKING]
620
00:27:18,723 --> 00:27:19,990
[TATTOO GUN BUZZES]
621
00:27:19,991 --> 00:27:21,725
[LAUGHTER]
622
00:27:21,726 --> 00:27:23,629
[SLURRING] Another one, sugar tits.
623
00:27:23,689 --> 00:27:25,997
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
624
00:27:26,944 --> 00:27:28,800
Oh, like it was all my idea?
625
00:27:30,825 --> 00:27:32,873
You're right... it was
probably all my idea.
626
00:27:34,167 --> 00:27:35,472
Oh, my God, it's 1:00.
627
00:27:35,767 --> 00:27:37,630
Dave and Carm's party is, like, now.
628
00:27:37,750 --> 00:27:40,108
[SIGHS] We can't go. They'll see these.
629
00:27:40,118 --> 00:27:41,331
Mm.
630
00:27:41,380 --> 00:27:43,470
No, they wouldn't,
unless we go bottomless.
631
00:27:43,513 --> 00:27:45,480
- And that would be super weird.
- Ah.
632
00:27:45,885 --> 00:27:47,454
Good point.
633
00:27:47,869 --> 00:27:49,219
We're doing this.
634
00:27:49,339 --> 00:27:52,014
- We are?
- Fuck yeah, we are.
635
00:27:52,134 --> 00:27:53,868
♪
636
00:27:53,890 --> 00:27:56,568
♪ You know what it is, man ♪
637
00:27:57,113 --> 00:27:59,921
♪ I've been doin' biz, man ♪
638
00:28:00,568 --> 00:28:03,242
♪ Gettin' how you live, man ♪
639
00:28:03,635 --> 00:28:05,726
♪ Uh, uh, uh ♪
640
00:28:05,846 --> 00:28:09,089
♪ Ooh, yeah, girl,
rumspringa, rumspringa ♪
641
00:28:09,471 --> 00:28:12,959
♪ When we come through,
watch how they bring-a ♪
642
00:28:12,991 --> 00:28:15,642
♪ We ain't givin' no
kids middle fingers ♪
643
00:28:15,696 --> 00:28:17,464
♪ What's up? ♪
644
00:28:18,450 --> 00:28:19,706
♪ What's up? ♪
645
00:28:19,826 --> 00:28:25,333
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
646
00:28:25,990 --> 00:28:27,339
♪ What's up? ♪
647
00:28:27,355 --> 00:28:28,846
♪ What's up, what's up? ♪
648
00:28:28,885 --> 00:28:30,123
♪ What's up, what's up? ♪
649
00:28:30,128 --> 00:28:32,344
♪ What's up, what's up? ♪
650
00:28:32,464 --> 00:28:33,710
♪ What's up? ♪
651
00:28:39,677 --> 00:28:40,671
♪ What's up? ♪
652
00:28:40,672 --> 00:28:42,549
♪ What's up, what's up? ♪
653
00:28:42,549 --> 00:28:43,528
♪ What's up, boy? ♪
654
00:28:43,541 --> 00:28:44,783
♪ What's up? ♪
655
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,261
♪ We're shooting in the cut ♪
656
00:28:48,265 --> 00:28:52,147
♪ I wait damn once just to put ♪
657
00:28:52,150 --> 00:28:53,557
♪ Butterflies up in this ♪
658
00:28:53,609 --> 00:28:55,086
♪ What's up? ♪47358
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