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00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:03,655
.
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00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:05,744
- "Will & Grace"
is recorded in front of
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00:00:05,788 --> 00:00:06,789
a live studio audience.
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00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:08,747
- Hey, check this out.
5
00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:10,140
I got it for the trip.
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00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:13,317
It's called an Astro Pillow.
So--
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00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,971
[grunts]
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00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,321
You put it on like this,
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00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:20,063
you put down your
tray table, and...
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00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:27,070
You can sleep like this.
Isn't it cool?
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00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:31,901
Grace, could you--
could you help me?
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It's a little snug.
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00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:35,339
- Do it yourself.
How else will you learn?
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00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:37,167
- Grace, I can't breathe!
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00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:39,561
I'm Sandra Bullock
in "Gravity"!
16
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,348
You were going to
let me die in there.
17
00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,089
- I would never let you die.
18
00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,873
Then who would be around
to criticize me?
19
00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:49,527
- [groans]
20
00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:52,008
Okay, I'm sorry
about the other night.
21
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:55,055
I should never have said that
you can do better than Noah.
22
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:56,534
- So you don't think
I can do better?
23
00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:58,362
- To be clear,
I shouldn't have said it.
24
00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:01,757
- Oh, my God,
you just can't help yourself.
25
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,064
- The guy bails on your
good friend's wedding, why?
26
00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:05,369
Because he's got
a "buddy" in town?
27
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:06,892
- Hey, we are not
doing this today.
28
00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:09,460
It's Jack's wedding.
- All right, you're right.
29
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:10,809
- And Noah's friend
is only in for three days.
30
00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:13,595
- That is such a lame--
- No, not today.
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00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:16,119
And the wedding is in Spain.
That's a big ask.
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- He made a commit--
- Not..today!
33
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:21,081
[upbeat piano music]
34
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:24,562
- Hi, Jack McFarland,
BTB, bride to be.
35
00:01:24,606 --> 00:01:28,740
Um, is it possible to arrange
a surprise announcement
36
00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:32,918
from the pilot congratulating
me on my upcoming nip-shuls?
37
00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:34,572
- Sorry, the flight's
been delayed.
38
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,400
Bad weather in Spain.
- No, no, no.
39
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:38,881
It can't be delayed.
Check again.
40
00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:41,666
Do the thing where you do this.
41
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,364
- Okay.
42
00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:46,932
It's delayed.
43
00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:50,414
- Well, she checked.
44
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:53,330
- Let me take a crack
at this one, boys.
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00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:55,680
If you can get
this tin bird moving,
46
00:01:55,724 --> 00:02:00,337
I'll blow into your tubes
until you're fully inflated.
47
00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:06,169
- Karen, you're not a lesbian.
- Oh, really?
48
00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:08,954
Then why is my hot
new lesbian girlfriend
49
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:10,521
about to meet me here?
50
00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:14,308
There, I said it.
She's black.
51
00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:19,226
- Oh, look, the flight's
no longer delayed.
52
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:20,357
- Oh.
- Oh, thank God.
53
00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:21,793
- It's cancelled.
54
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:24,970
[upbeat trumpet
and piano music]
55
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:32,239
♪
56
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:35,720
- Wait, so the wedding's
on hold.
57
00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:37,287
- Eh.
- How's Jack taking it?
58
00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:40,160
[horn beeps]
- Why?
59
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:45,252
- So, look, I have something
big to tell you.
60
00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:47,167
- McCoy Whitman, is that you?
- Yeah.
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00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,820
- Ooh, can I get
a picture with you?
62
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- Yeah, sure thing.
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00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:51,823
[shutter snaps]
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00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,564
All right.
- You want to check it?
65
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,349
- They're always good.
- Oh.
66
00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:00,354
- It looks like the network
is going to make me
67
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:02,225
Chief London Correspondent.
68
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:04,836
- That's your dream job!
- I know.
69
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,491
It's going to be so great.
- So why does it--
70
00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:09,145
- Because I'd be living
in London,
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00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:13,105
and you'd be living here,
and we'd be so far apart!
72
00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:15,760
- Hi, we're huge fans.
Can we--
73
00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:18,850
- Of course. Yes.
- Oh, gosh!
74
00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,809
[shutter snaps]
75
00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,854
- What are we going to do?
- Well, we'll be okay.
76
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:25,988
I mean, lots of couples make
the long-distance thing work.
77
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:28,120
- Name one.
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00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,992
You can't!
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00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:32,299
- Um, that guy was
in the picture, so do--
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00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:33,387
- Let's take another.
- Oh, good!
81
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:34,692
- All right.
82
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:35,693
[shutter snaps]
83
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,521
- Oh, I look bad
in this one, too.
84
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,044
- Everyone looks bad
next to him!
85
00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:41,177
Move it along.
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00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,787
- Jack.
- Ohh...
87
00:03:42,831 --> 00:03:44,702
please tell me you found a way
for us to get to Spain.
88
00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:48,532
- Oh, wouldn't that be nice?
But no.
89
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:51,666
We are getting married
at midnight
90
00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:56,584
right here at gate 35A!
The nicest of the 35s.
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00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:00,457
Papi, I know it's not Spain,
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00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:03,025
but at least our wedding
will not be on a Tuesday.
93
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:04,374
- Oh, thank God.
94
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:06,333
Because we wouldn't want
our wedding to be cursed
95
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,030
by being forced
to have it at an--
96
00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:10,424
oh, I don't know, an airport!
97
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:18,388
What--what, do you want to have
our honeymoon in a men's room?
98
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:22,349
- Jack, that's where we had
our second date.
99
00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:24,612
[upbeat piano music]
100
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:26,875
.
101
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:29,747
- Welcome to the pre-wedding
cocktail hour.
102
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:35,405
As you can all see, this is not
a castle on a hill in Spain.
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00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:39,496
But Estefan did find
an airport White Castle.
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And this jar of Spanish olives
for the reception.
105
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:48,766
So...
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00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,291
yay.
107
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:54,076
There will also be
no unicorn dessert station,
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00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:55,382
no magical up-lighting.
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00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,427
I mean, it's an airport.
There's nothing.
110
00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:59,429
[laughs]
111
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:00,865
[sobs]
112
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:02,432
- Who's going to perform
the ceremony?
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00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:06,131
- That part is set.
Estefan's tio,Alberto.
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00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:09,918
He's a judge on
"Spain's Got Talent."
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00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:15,532
- Isn't he in Spain?
- Your point?
116
00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:19,319
- Five, four, three, two...
117
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,329
- Excuse me.
118
00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:34,856
- Oh, my God, I didn't even
think of this.
119
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:37,467
If Jack's getting married here,
Noah can come.
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00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,382
I'm going to call him.
- I have no opinion on that.
121
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,079
- I wasn't asking
for your opinion.
122
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:42,864
- Well, none was offered.
- None was requested.
123
00:05:42,907 --> 00:05:44,300
- Nor was one forthcoming.
124
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,346
- Oh, go put your
head condom back on.
125
00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:50,393
- So I just got off
the phone with the network,
126
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,787
and it turns out
I didn't get the job.
127
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:56,791
- What, no!
Darn it, those dummies.
128
00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,445
[grunts]
129
00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:01,491
- It's okay if you're happy.
- I am, I'm sorry.
130
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:03,058
But I'm thrilled for us.
131
00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:05,277
We both know the long-distance
thing never works.
132
00:06:05,321 --> 00:06:07,584
- Yes, I agree,
and that's why I told them
133
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,194
thanks but no thanks.
134
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:12,807
- Wait, why did you thank them
for not giving you a job?
135
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:14,548
- Well, I was
just being polite.
136
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:15,853
You know how the Brits are.
137
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,594
[British accent]
Tut-tut, spot of tea.
138
00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:20,292
On your marks, get set, bake!
139
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:25,123
Okay, they--they offered me
the job, but I said no.
140
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:29,258
- Sweetie, you can't turn down
your dream job because of me.
141
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:31,695
- I don't want to lose you.
- Well, if you stay,
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00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:35,133
you'll end up resenting me.
I couldn't stand that.
143
00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:39,703
You got to call them back.
144
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:42,227
- I know.
145
00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:45,753
- Another round, barkeep.
146
00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:49,539
- Hello, Mrs. Walker.
- Smitty?
147
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:51,367
You work here, too?
148
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,849
- Because of all the death
and illness in my family,
149
00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:57,068
I have to work multiple jobs.
150
00:06:57,112 --> 00:07:00,289
Though I guess dancing
while Wall Street guys
151
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:03,118
throw lit cigarettes
at me, well,
152
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:06,426
that's not really a job.
153
00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:19,439
- Oh, Smitty.
You are a treasure.
154
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:22,920
If I wasn't a lesbian,
I would kiss you.
155
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,749
I'm a lesbian now.
- You are?
156
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:30,580
Oh, my gaydar must be going
the way of my hearing
157
00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:32,582
and--and my sense of smell,
158
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:36,978
and--and my ability
to digest solid food.
159
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:39,067
- [laughs]
160
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:46,291
Smitty, you got to give a gal
a chance to breathe.
161
00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:51,296
[laughs]
162
00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:57,085
Oh, it's just that
after my marriage ended,
163
00:07:57,128 --> 00:08:01,089
I didn't know who I was
or what I wanted.
164
00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:03,570
And then, Nikki came along
and told me.
165
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:08,836
And now, I am exactly
who I'm supposed to be.
166
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:11,969
I think.
167
00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:14,972
I don't know.
168
00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:19,063
- Did you ever think
that maybe you're not gay?
169
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:22,806
You're just lost.
170
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:25,417
- [laughs]
171
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:32,816
Wait a minute,
that's not funny.
172
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:35,036
[bright piano music]
173
00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:37,560
- Chardonnay, please.
174
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:40,389
Noah's not coming.
We do not need to get into it.
175
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:41,521
- Ah.
176
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,348
- That is such a "you"
thing to say.
177
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:46,134
- Mm.
- Oh, now you're lecturing me?
178
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,833
I get it, it's a bummer.
He's a bummer.
179
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:52,575
Are you happy?
- Are you happy?
180
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:57,754
- I'm happy enough.
Noah is kind, and he loves me.
181
00:08:57,798 --> 00:09:00,931
You get to a point in your life
where you're lucky
182
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:03,368
if you get 60%
of what you want.
183
00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:05,066
- Grace--
- It's not sad.
184
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,850
It's a reality.
- Don't say that.
185
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,591
You--
- No, do not tell me
186
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:11,812
that I could do better,
because I can't.
187
00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:14,858
I can't do better.
- Wow.
188
00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:18,949
I wish you could see yourself
the way I see you.
189
00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:22,649
Because if you did,
you'd know you deserve 100%
190
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:25,173
of what you want.
191
00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:28,176
[groovy piano music]
192
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,787
♪
193
00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:32,963
.
194
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,617
- We have another problem.
195
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,184
We don't have anybody
to marry us.
196
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:40,231
- You big gay bitch!
197
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:45,454
I just found out
that you're getting married,
198
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,064
and you didn't invite me!
199
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:49,240
- I know, I'm so sorry.
We totally forgot.
200
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:50,807
- That bothers me, Jack.
201
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:54,071
If I wasn't on my way to Tampa
to marry my sister--
202
00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:57,814
- Hey, you cannot
marry your sister.
203
00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:02,340
- In Florida, you can.
204
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:08,825
- I'm not marrying her,
you dummies.
205
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:13,047
I'm performing the ceremony.
I'm ordained.
206
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:16,877
- Wait, you can marry people?
Would you ever consider, like--
207
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,880
- All right,
I'll do it for 75 bucks.
208
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,143
- 25 bucks.
- 100.
209
00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:25,581
- 200.
- You got yourself a deal.
210
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,584
[bright piano music]
211
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,673
♪
212
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:31,718
- Oh!
213
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:33,676
Oh, oh!
- Oh!
214
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,199
- I'm so sorry.
- No, no, no, no, no.
215
00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:37,941
I'm sorry, I just--
I bit into the--
216
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:40,857
- Gooey center?
- I call it the pearl.
217
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,731
Oh, please, don't stop eating.
218
00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:48,691
- That is the nicest thing
a guy has ever said to me.
219
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:51,651
- I find that
kind of hard to believe.
220
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:53,174
You know, I was going to get
one of those
221
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:55,045
sad little airport cookies,
but then, I thought
222
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:56,743
"why settle for mediocrity
223
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:59,093
when there is this
deliciousness out there?"
224
00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:02,705
- Agreed.
225
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:05,055
- Marcus.
- Grace.
226
00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:07,449
- Where you headed?
- Nowhere.
227
00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:09,756
My friend is getting married
here in the airport.
228
00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:11,671
- Oh, that's where I
want to get married.
229
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,716
- Really?
- No.
230
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,370
[laughs]
231
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:17,372
Just my indelicate way
of telling you
232
00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:19,243
that I'm not married.
233
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:21,028
- Smooth.
- Yeah.
234
00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:22,159
[chuckles]
235
00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:25,336
- Where you going?
- Uh, Italy.
236
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:29,471
Yeah, then France, and then,
I don't know where.
237
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:32,430
- Wow, that sounds amazing.
- Yeah, yeah.
238
00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:35,651
I just--I woke up one day,
and I thought...
239
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,435
I don't know, you ever just
have one of those moments
240
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:40,700
where you just--
you rethink your entire life?
241
00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,179
- Constantly.
242
00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:43,703
- [chuckles]
243
00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:45,661
- How long you going away for?
244
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,141
- Mm, as long as it
makes me happy.
245
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:48,838
- Oh.
- And as long as I
246
00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:51,798
can pass for a Canadian.
- I wish I could do that.
247
00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:54,757
Not the Canadian part.
I'm too loud.
248
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:57,847
The dropping everything
and just taking off thing.
249
00:11:57,891 --> 00:12:00,763
- Oh, then do it.
- Oh, I--
250
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:01,938
[scoffs]
251
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,679
I don't do stuff like that.
252
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,987
- What, something you want to
do when you want to do it?
253
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:10,381
- Don't make it
sound reasonable.
254
00:12:10,425 --> 00:12:13,907
- Look, sometimes, the things
we do without thinking,
255
00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:17,127
they end up being the best
things that we ever do.
256
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:19,173
- Really?
Because I have a Bowflex
257
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,871
and cargo pants
that would say otherwise.
258
00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:29,052
- Hey, you wouldn't want to--
with--
259
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:30,967
Oh--oh, man, forget it.
260
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:33,187
I'm--I'm going to sound
like a crazy person.
261
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:38,540
Uh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
You just--you seemed so--
262
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:39,846
[stammers]
263
00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:42,892
Forgive me.
Okay, enjoy your wedding.
264
00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:45,852
- Hey.
- Yeah?
265
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:48,768
- Points for almost asking.
266
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:54,425
[bright piano music]
267
00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:55,731
- Hey, babe.
268
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,515
- [laughs]
269
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:58,952
- So wait,
what was the thinking
270
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,823
behind getting married
at an airport?
271
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,086
The DMV was booked?
272
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,263
- [clears throat]
273
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:09,919
Look, um,
I need to say something.
274
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:13,009
You know how I've said
that being with you
275
00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:17,013
has changed me,
and you've said that
276
00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:22,192
maybe I'm not being
totally honest with myself.
277
00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:23,846
- What are you trying to say?
278
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:28,546
- Mm, what do you think
I'm trying to say?
279
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,766
- Karen, I can't
say it for you.
280
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:31,898
- [exhales]
281
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:35,989
It's just so hard.
I just--
282
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:39,514
I've realized that...
283
00:13:39,557 --> 00:13:42,430
I am...
284
00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:43,779
[exhales]
285
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,259
[chuckles]
286
00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:49,611
Why can't I say the word?
Why can't I just say it?
287
00:13:49,654 --> 00:13:54,921
What--what is wrong with me?
Why am I so ashamed?
288
00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:59,447
Why can't I just speak my truth
and be who I am?
289
00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:00,622
Nikki...
290
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,623
[button clicks]
291
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,016
I'm straight.
292
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,148
[echoing]
I'm straight, I'm straight...
293
00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:07,847
I'm straight...
I'm straight...I'm straight...
294
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,240
- There are children around!
295
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,852
[bright musical flourish]
296
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:14,941
.
297
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:18,945
- So, about to be married
at an airport.
298
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,338
Worst wedding
since Batman married Robin
299
00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:24,602
in that filthy cave.
300
00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:26,430
- Look at it this way.
301
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:29,042
You waited for the right one.
You didn't settle.
302
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:31,914
- You didn't care about
the distance or the obstacles.
303
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,786
- And you're both really,
truly gay.
304
00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:39,139
It's not like one of you
is gay and black
305
00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:41,968
and the other one
is white, straight, and lost.
306
00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:45,188
["Here Comes The Bride"
plays]
307
00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:52,456
♪
308
00:14:55,938 --> 00:15:00,029
- Buddy, this is your moment.
Today, it's all about you.
309
00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:03,990
- I have waited to hear you
say that for 30 years.
310
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:08,037
- If you hurt my Jackie,
311
00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:11,562
I know someone
who will reach up inside you
312
00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:14,783
and turn you inside out.
313
00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:16,132
- [purrs]
314
00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:18,787
- No, not in the good way.
315
00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:23,618
- Thank you.
316
00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:27,187
- Gracias.
[coins rattle]
317
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:33,236
Mi amor,
you look beautiful.
318
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,935
- I know.
319
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:39,025
- Queerly beloved,
we are gathered here
320
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:43,072
under this extremely
harsh lighting
321
00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:46,423
that I wouldn't wish
on my evil twin sister--
322
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:49,774
she should rot in Hell--
323
00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:53,648
to unite these two "men"...
324
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:57,869
In holy matrimony.
325
00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:00,655
And now, I believe that
both Jack and Estefan
326
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:03,614
have prepared their own vows.
Jack?
327
00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:07,270
- Estefan, you know me
well enough to know
328
00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:12,275
that I have prepared nothing.
329
00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:13,973
- It's true, I know that.
330
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,498
- For months,
all I've ever talked about
331
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,413
was having the perfect wedding.
332
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:22,807
I wanted it to be the greatest
moment of my life.
333
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:27,943
And now, standing here,
looking in your eyes...
334
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,771
- [exhales]
335
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:33,557
- I know I got exactly
what I wanted.
336
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:36,996
This is perfect.
337
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:39,868
- Flight 201
to Dallas, Fort Worth,
338
00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:42,958
has been moved to gate 63.
339
00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:02,717
- Like I said, perfect.
340
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:06,460
You are the love of my life.
341
00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:08,723
Te amo.
342
00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:11,813
- Te amo siempre,Jack.
343
00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:17,688
[off-key]
♪ Tu llenas mis sentidos
344
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:21,083
♪ Como una noche
en el bosque ♪
345
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:23,259
- [nose honks]
346
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:30,092
- ♪ Like a mountain
in springtime ♪
347
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,660
- No, no, no.
348
00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:41,625
- It's going to be okay, McCoy.
- No, it's not.
349
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,192
We're going to break up,
and I'm going to
350
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,151
have to go back
to dating underwear models
351
00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:51,113
and Bravo executives
and Italian soccer stars.
352
00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:54,899
It's going to be hell.
- Ah, well, me too.
353
00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:58,425
What with all the
part-time piano teachers
354
00:17:58,468 --> 00:18:01,732
and no-show Grindr dates.
355
00:18:01,776 --> 00:18:05,388
I--I totally get it.
356
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:08,565
How do you keep a relationship
going from so far apart?
357
00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:12,091
- You can't.
- Unless...
358
00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:14,136
[Estefan continues
singing in Spanish]
359
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,965
- Unless what?
360
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:20,055
- And now, do you, Jack,
take Estefan
361
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,406
as your
lawfully-wedded husband?
362
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:26,366
- Maybe everything else
was not as I planned,
363
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,672
but this moment is.
364
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,892
All eyes are on me
as I say--
365
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:34,635
- I will!
I will marry you, Will Truman!
366
00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:39,466
- [screaming] I knew it!
367
00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:41,381
I knew it!
368
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:44,601
- Jack, Jack, Jack, you're
still getting married first.
369
00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:47,561
I'm dying inside.
370
00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:49,824
- That helps.
Let's keep going.
371
00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:53,784
[bright piano music]
372
00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:56,135
- That was the craziest,
most impulsive thing
373
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:59,616
I have ever seen you do,
and I have never been prouder.
374
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,488
- Yeah, yeah, it's weird,
because crazy and impulsive
375
00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:03,098
is usually your department.
376
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,621
Did we switch bodies
when we opened
377
00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:06,841
that book of magic spells?
378
00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:09,148
- You inspired me, though.
379
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,585
I'm kind of thinking about
doing something
380
00:19:11,628 --> 00:19:14,109
crazy and impulsive myself.
381
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,589
- Is it something
that has the chance
382
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:18,461
of making you
more than 60% happy?
383
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,811
- It might.
384
00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:25,903
- Well, then go.
Go get yourself some happy.
385
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:33,824
- Smitty, this isn't like me,
but I'm happy for my friends.
386
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,524
I guess it makes me feel like
387
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:41,049
maybe there's a chance
that I'll find love again.
388
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:43,878
- [laughs]
389
00:19:48,535 --> 00:19:51,451
Mrs. Walker, you're hilarious.
390
00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,673
- We have a boarding
opportunity for passengers
391
00:19:56,717 --> 00:19:58,022
traveling flight 6150--
392
00:19:58,066 --> 00:20:00,329
- Ma'am are you boarding?
393
00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:03,811
- I was just--um, uh,
waiting for someone.
394
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:07,206
I guess it was crazy.
395
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,425
- Hold up.
Hold the gate.
396
00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:11,688
[bright music]
397
00:20:11,732 --> 00:20:14,517
- Hi.
398
00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:16,345
- Hi.
399
00:20:16,389 --> 00:20:18,695
- Ooh, the first song
is husband and husband.
400
00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:22,612
Come on, let's dance.
Will!
401
00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:26,442
♪
402
00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:29,097
- I was looking for you.
403
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,839
- Here I am.
404
00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:35,712
- ♪ Love is in the air
405
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:39,847
♪ Love is in the air
406
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:44,025
♪ Love is in the air
407
00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:47,594
♪ Love is in the air
408
00:20:47,637 --> 00:20:50,945
♪ Love is in the air
409
00:20:50,995 --> 00:20:55,545
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