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1
00:00:04,787 --> 00:00:05,179
.
2
00:00:05,222 --> 00:00:07,181
- Will & Grace is recorded
3
00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:09,400
in front of
a live studio audience.
4
00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:11,489
- Okay, I have no idea why I'm
supposed to care about her.
5
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:12,838
- Bella Hadid!
- Even less.
6
00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:15,058
- Gigi Hadid!
- Yes.
7
00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:17,060
Ugh, this guy.
- Kanye.
8
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,844
- Yes.
[dinging]
9
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:20,716
- Uh, time, time.
10
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:23,719
The score right now
is 15 for you guys,
11
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:28,637
and we are your heels with
a very respectable one.
12
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,074
- I'm sorry I'm such
a bad partner.
13
00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:33,163
- Are you kidding?
You're better than Grace.
14
00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:34,904
She never takes
the time out to tell me
15
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,427
how beautiful my eyes are.
16
00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:37,863
- They really are incredible.
17
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:41,215
- They're hazel.
They're the color of a swamp.
18
00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:42,477
Here, your turn.
19
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,348
- Okay, ready?
20
00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:45,480
Go.
21
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,569
- Okay, he's hot
but not as hot as you.
22
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:48,787
- Adam Levine.
23
00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:50,485
- You think you're hotter
than Adam Levine?
24
00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:52,182
- He's right.
- Yes, that's one point for us!
25
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:54,054
- No, no,
it's the wrong answer
26
00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:56,360
but you are correct that
you're hotter than Adam Levine.
27
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:58,884
- That's so sweet.
- Oh, you're so sweet.
28
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,103
[audience aahs]
29
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:02,323
- We're still playing!
30
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:05,065
- Oh, this one's easy.
31
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:06,675
Uh, we both have
French bulldogs
32
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,068
from the same surrogate.
33
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:10,722
[beeping]
- Time, time! We won again.
34
00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:12,594
- It was Rachel Maddow.
35
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:14,204
- Oh.
36
00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:16,293
- Well, you guys were great.
- Mm-hmm.
37
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:18,513
- At crapping the bed.
- [chuckles]
38
00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:21,342
- But you know what?
They are fun to hang out with.
39
00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:22,647
- They are.
They're a great couple.
40
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:24,780
But come on,
we're the better couple.
41
00:01:24,823 --> 00:01:28,479
- You know, it's almost rude
how much better we are.
42
00:01:28,523 --> 00:01:30,742
- Should we try to be
less great as a couple?
43
00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:32,396
- If we could, we would.
44
00:01:33,484 --> 00:01:35,617
- They really care a lot
about the game.
45
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,053
- [sighs] I know,
46
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:40,230
but they're not as pretty
as we are.
47
00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:43,233
[upbeat trumpet
and piano music]
48
00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:50,545
♪
49
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:56,812
[cell phone ringing]
50
00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:01,077
- What is it, Mother?
51
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,732
No, I am not screening
your calls.
52
00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:05,864
I did listen
to your voicemails!
53
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:08,258
I did too, Judith!
54
00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:10,173
Oh, yes I--
55
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:11,914
[sighs]
56
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:15,961
Okay, no I didn't.
57
00:02:16,005 --> 00:02:17,354
What do you want?
58
00:02:17,398 --> 00:02:18,790
No, of course
I'm still getting married!
59
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:21,141
Why would--why do you keep
asking me that?
60
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:23,143
I love Estefan.
61
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:25,449
How dare you!
62
00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:27,059
No, I am not going to cheat.
63
00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:31,586
Not even if the perfect man
fell from the sky!
64
00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:34,066
No, I'm not going to feel stuck
when I get married.
65
00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:35,764
I will never be stuck.
66
00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:37,461
[thudding]
67
00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,115
[electrical buzzing]
68
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,726
Oh, my God, I'm stuck.
69
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:45,339
- Malcolm, darling,
the power is still out.
70
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:47,950
I'll take off as soon
as it stops snowing.
71
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:51,171
I'll just give Pilot
a little nudge. Okay.
72
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:55,871
Now you listen to me,
you son of a bitch.
73
00:02:56,785 --> 00:03:00,092
I don't care if you have to dig
that plane out of the snow
74
00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:01,659
with a coke spoon,
75
00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:05,707
I am flying to Islamabad
tonight to see my boyfriend.
76
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:10,233
- Wow, so that voice
comes out of you.
77
00:03:12,148 --> 00:03:14,846
I was picturing
a sexy animated rabbit.
78
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:19,503
- Well, that's how I picture
myself except with a whip.
79
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,160
- Um, I'm Nikki.
I'm above you.
80
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,510
- Honey, no one's above me.
81
00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:33,822
- [scoffs]
Mind if I borrow your glasses?
82
00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:35,345
- Sure.
83
00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:37,129
There you go.
84
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:39,523
- Wow, you have such
a weak prescription.
85
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:40,959
- There's no prescription.
86
00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,961
They're fake.
87
00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:44,833
My eyes are perfect.
88
00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:46,095
- Then why--
89
00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:47,836
- Well, network testing
showed the glasses
90
00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:50,534
make me appear more trustworthy
and approachable.
91
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,884
- So people think you're too
beautiful without the glasses?
92
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:55,278
- 82% of viewers
don't hear a word I say
93
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:56,975
when I'm not wearing them.
94
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,414
- I'm sorry, what?
95
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:01,806
[both chuckling]
96
00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:04,853
[both smacking]
97
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,769
- You know what bugs me about
Will and McCoy?
98
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,684
- Ooh, what?
99
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:13,253
- They're so into each other,
especially McCoy.
100
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:15,646
Love's not that showy crap.
101
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:18,562
You know, "Oh, you're
so beautiful and wonderful."
102
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,347
Who wants that all the time?
103
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:22,958
- [scoffs] Babies.
104
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:27,310
- This is good.
oh, you and me hanging out.
105
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:30,226
These last few months,
I've been really happy.
106
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,316
- I could do this all the time.
- Yeah, me too.
107
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,624
Hey, I've got an idea.
108
00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:40,628
How about I give you
a drawer here?
109
00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:43,718
Some place to keep
your fake glasses.
110
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,068
- I love that idea, Will.
111
00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:47,374
- Hmm.
112
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,724
- Or I could just move in
with you.
113
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,987
- [chuckles]
114
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:54,685
Oh.
115
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,775
- Love is looking someone
in the eyes
116
00:04:57,819 --> 00:05:00,038
and saying "I love you,
move in with me."
117
00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:01,953
- Yeah, I guess.
118
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:06,001
Oh.
119
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:11,006
Bad nut.
120
00:05:11,049 --> 00:05:13,269
- Grace, I'm asking you
to move in with me.
121
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,488
[spits]
122
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:18,840
- Oh, I--oh.
123
00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:21,059
- Ah, I did it again.
I moved too fast.
124
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:23,497
Why do I keep doing that?
What is wrong with me?
125
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,629
- No, no, no, wait, wait!
There's nothing wrong with you.
126
00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:28,328
No, you're great.
You--you--you're wonderful.
127
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:33,724
The reason we can't move in
together is--it's not you.
128
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,772
It's Grace.
129
00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:40,818
- You make me happy
130
00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:43,604
and you're so good with Katie
and she adores you.
131
00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,693
So what the hell,
let's do this.
132
00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:49,218
What's with the face?
Why isn't it a "yes" face?
133
00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:52,656
- I--I would.
I mean, I would, but...
134
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,702
- But what?
What--what is it?
135
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,531
- It's Will.
136
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,490
- What about her?
137
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:02,362
- Well, she's gone through
some stuff, you know?
138
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:05,234
She's kind
of, um, well...
139
00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,497
she's mentally unstable.
140
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:11,675
- He's...
141
00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:13,677
broke.
142
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,505
Completely broke.
143
00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:16,985
- What, how?
144
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,943
- Gambling.
145
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:22,860
- How unstable?
- It's not good, McCoy.
146
00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:26,211
.
147
00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:27,648
[shaker shaking]
148
00:06:27,691 --> 00:06:29,650
- Okay,
that's what that sound is.
149
00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:31,173
You know, upstairs, uh,
150
00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:33,393
we all thought someone
played the maracas.
151
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:36,744
Isn't there, like,
another smaller maraca?
152
00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:38,006
- That would be this.
153
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:40,269
[pill bottle shaking]
154
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:42,924
- You're very musical.
155
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:45,405
- Well, I've been playing
for years.
156
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:48,843
- Hello, 911?
157
00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:50,540
Yes, uh, yes,
I called three times!
158
00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:53,151
Why isn't anybody here yet?
159
00:06:53,195 --> 00:06:55,719
Did you just call me ma'am?
160
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,808
I am not a ma'am.
161
00:06:57,852 --> 00:07:01,508
No, I am a man.
I am not a ma'am.
162
00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,945
[high-pitched] Why would you
think I was a woman?
163
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:05,425
[sighs]
164
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,122
[knock on door]
- Grace, can I talk to you?
165
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:08,428
- Uh, sure. Come on in.
166
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,038
Don't say anything about
the gambling.
167
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,605
- Hey, sorry you guys.
168
00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:13,215
[crunch]
Ow!
169
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:15,522
Please tell me that's a shell
and not a toenail.
170
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:18,438
- Grace said the maid
comes tomorrow
171
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,440
so we could throw whatever
we want on the floor.
172
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:22,703
- He's the maid.
173
00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:24,052
- Look at us.
174
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:26,881
Just two working gals
in the big city.
175
00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:29,753
Punching in everyday
around 2:00,
176
00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:32,930
pushing papers till 3:30,
177
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,324
then taking the Rolls
back to the manse,
178
00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:40,547
sleeping 16 hours and then it's
time to make the donuts.
179
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:41,678
[chuckles]
180
00:07:41,722 --> 00:07:43,854
- You're like
my photo negative.
181
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:46,248
- Hmm?
182
00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:49,860
- Ugh, God,
it does not look like
183
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:51,122
we are getting out
of here tonight.
184
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:52,994
- Oh, honey,
don't say that.
185
00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:55,126
- Girl, I just said it.
186
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:56,954
- Honey.
187
00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:58,478
- Girl.
188
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:01,698
- Honey.
189
00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,831
- Girl.
190
00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:08,313
- So, uh, can I talk to you
for a moment?
191
00:08:09,314 --> 00:08:11,012
- Oh, I leave.
That's how this works.
192
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,579
- Mm-hmm.
193
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,755
- Sorry, you know, I just have
a, uh, I have a problem.
194
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,147
- Oh, I know.
195
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:19,020
I mean, I--I don't know.
Why would I know?
196
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,676
Oh, uh, forgot my wallet.
197
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:27,768
I might need it for, um...
198
00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:29,987
no particular reason.
199
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,555
Certainly trust you.
200
00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:35,776
- It's so hot.
201
00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,908
Why is it so hot in here?
202
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:40,128
[panting]
203
00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:42,696
Must be...
204
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:45,046
must be running out of oxygen.
205
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:49,180
There's no other explanation.
206
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:54,403
[audience cheering]
207
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:57,972
- So...
208
00:08:58,015 --> 00:08:59,539
Look, I--I need you
to back me up
209
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,105
and--and don't ask
any questions.
210
00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,498
I told McCoy
211
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,892
that you're mentally
and emotionally unstable.
212
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:07,808
- What? And he believed you?
213
00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:10,288
- Instantly.
214
00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:11,638
He asked
to move in with me
215
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:12,987
and I panicked.
216
00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:14,684
Just--so just back me up
on this, please!
217
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:15,903
I'd do it for you.
218
00:09:15,946 --> 00:09:18,209
- Yeah, um,
let's test that out.
219
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:24,781
I told Noah that you're an
out of control gambler.
220
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:27,871
Also a thief, but that's really
just to support the gambling.
221
00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:29,220
Just...
222
00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:30,570
- [panting]
223
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:33,442
Man, it's so hot.
I got to get out of here.
224
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,665
Think of a plan, Jack.
Think of a plan.
225
00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:40,580
Ooh, I got it!
226
00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:44,496
[screaming]
Help!
227
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,498
- What is going on with them?
228
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:50,285
- What is going on with us?
229
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,461
Isn't this what
we both wanted?
230
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:54,419
- Yeah.
231
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:57,553
Then why didn't we say yes?
232
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,250
- Maybe...
233
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:00,861
maybe we like things
the way they are.
234
00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:02,384
- Yes, yes, we do.
235
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:04,168
We're in a really good place.
We're comfortable.
236
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,822
- Comfortable, exactly.
237
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,519
You get to a certain age.
238
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:08,564
Forty-s...
239
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,435
both: Four.
240
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:12,394
And--and you want comfort.
241
00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:13,961
- And there's nothing wrong
with that.
242
00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,440
- No, exactly.
243
00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:18,008
So we'll just--we'll just
tell the men, who love us,
244
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:19,531
that we made up ridiculous lies
245
00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:22,447
because we would rather
just live together.
246
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,712
Forever.
247
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,365
- [clears throat]
248
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:30,717
Or we could keep the lies going
for a little while,
249
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,066
buy us some time.
250
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:33,850
- Now that's the kind
of short term thinking
251
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,373
we gamblers like to hear.
252
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:38,246
- And I think it's just crazy
enough to work.
253
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:39,508
- Good, that's good.
254
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:40,901
That's good.
That's a good idea.
255
00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:42,250
- It's a great idea.
256
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:43,599
I'm just gonna say it,
we're geniuses.
257
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,819
- I'm gonna say it,
we're the better couple.
258
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:48,125
- [blows raspberry]
259
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:51,651
.
260
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:52,956
[upbeat music]
261
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,219
- Will?
- No, it's me.
262
00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:57,874
Will and Grace are doing
their Will and Grace thing.
263
00:10:57,918 --> 00:10:59,659
I don't know where to be.
264
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:02,705
Wow, this place
is really clean.
265
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,707
Where do you guys eat?
266
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,622
- In the kitchen.
267
00:11:07,928 --> 00:11:09,494
- Hey, can I talk to you
for a minute?
268
00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:11,105
- Yeah, have a seat.
269
00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:13,673
- So listen...
270
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:15,239
are these flannel sheets?
271
00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,241
- Yeah, they're really great on
a night like this.
272
00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:18,808
- I always wondered
what they felt like.
273
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:20,244
- Be my guest.
274
00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:23,900
Don't feel weird,
275
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:27,077
I'm New York's
most trusted newsman.
276
00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:28,252
- Yeah, all right.
277
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,258
Oh, wow.
- Mm-hmm.
278
00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:36,391
- Ooh, that's cozy.
279
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,915
It's nice to be in a bed
where nothing crunches.
280
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,264
- Hmm.
281
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:43,180
[chuckles]
282
00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:48,055
- You have the most beautiful
skin I've ever seen.
283
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,275
You're like a super-hot baby.
284
00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:55,453
- I know, it's both
a blessing and a...
285
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,934
actually, it's just a blessing.
286
00:11:57,978 --> 00:12:01,198
- So listen, uh, I just
want to put it out there.
287
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:02,852
I know where Will
can get some help
288
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:04,506
for his gambling problem.
289
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:05,768
- Gambling problem?
290
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,465
- You don't have to cover
for him, okay?
291
00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:08,510
Grace told me.
292
00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:11,382
- Oh, Grace told you.
293
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:16,170
That must be so hard.
294
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:18,999
Is she off her meds again?
295
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:22,698
- You mean Gas-X?
296
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,134
No, no, she took one tonight.
297
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:26,789
A little after the fact,
but still.
298
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:30,184
- No, I'm talking about
her anti-psychotics.
299
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:33,274
Will told me that she...
300
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:36,451
You know what?
301
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:37,974
I think we've been lied to.
302
00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:40,716
- Nah, I--I find that hard
to believe.
303
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,326
- Oh, sorry.
304
00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:50,204
I think we've been lied to.
305
00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:52,946
- Oh, my God!
We've been lied to!
306
00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:56,471
- This is the NYPD.
307
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,734
- Oh, thank God!
308
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,128
- Remain calm, ma'am.
I'm coming down.
309
00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:08,352
- Wait, I know you.
310
00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:11,747
Drew.
311
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,227
- Jack?
312
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:16,360
- So what if I make a little
more effort than Malcolm?
313
00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:18,536
Are you saying that you've
never gone out of your way
314
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:19,842
for your man?
315
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:23,193
- No, but to be fair
my men are women.
316
00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:28,895
- Oh.
317
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:32,028
You're a vagiterian.
318
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:37,947
Question,
319
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:41,168
are you permanently parked
in the lesbian zone
320
00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:44,736
or do you move your car
to alternate sides
321
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:47,435
of the street from time to time
for plowing?
322
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,310
- This car is parked
up on blocks
323
00:13:53,354 --> 00:13:56,139
with 100 tickets
on the windshield.
324
00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:57,227
- [sighs]
325
00:13:58,315 --> 00:14:00,056
Boils my blood!
326
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,885
They still give tickets
for being gay!
327
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:06,410
- Karen,
I don't mean to judge but--
328
00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:08,848
look, if you're always taking
care of some guy,
329
00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,893
who takes care of you?
330
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:13,113
- Besides pharmacists?
331
00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:20,207
I don't know,
I guess most of my life,
332
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,296
I've taken care of myself.
333
00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:25,560
- Looks like we have more
in common than I thought.
334
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:30,608
- Look, we know everything.
So no more lies.
335
00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:33,133
- Six months, you've been
telling me to take a leap,
336
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:35,962
open up, and when I finally do,
you lie to me?
337
00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:37,441
- I'm sorry, it's just--
338
00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:39,313
- No, you know what?
Any excuse you're about to say
339
00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:41,445
I've used a thousand times,
so save it.
340
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:42,925
Grace, make a choice.
341
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:45,710
We either move forward in
this relationship or we don't.
342
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:49,279
- Same here. We either move
in together or we're done.
343
00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:51,542
I'll do anything you want.
Don't leave me.
344
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,850
[yelling]
Am I making myself clear?!
345
00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:58,941
- Can Will and I
just have a minute?
346
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:01,944
- Okay, one minute.
- Yeah, one minute!
347
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:04,468
Take your time.
I'm not going anywhere.
348
00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:06,557
One minute!
349
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,825
- This whole comfortable thing
we came up with?
350
00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:15,131
- Complete crap.
351
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:16,785
We were just using
each other as an excuse.
352
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,613
- So what? Do we--
353
00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:21,007
do we go back there
and say yes?
354
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:24,488
- Seems kind of fast,
they gave us a minute.
355
00:15:24,532 --> 00:15:28,101
- We should probably
do stuff like--like this.
356
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:31,931
It's like we're balancing
our options.
357
00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:35,412
- Okay, and--and--and then
I'll--I'll point to myself.
358
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,457
- Uh-huh.
359
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,415
- Then I'll point to you.
- Mm-hmm.
360
00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:42,158
- Then I'll point
to myself again.
361
00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,900
- And then I'll be, like,
"Why didn't I think of that?
362
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,641
Like why didn't that go
in here?"
363
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:49,383
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- That in here. That in here.
364
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:51,820
- What do you think
they're talking about?
365
00:15:51,863 --> 00:15:54,040
- Nothing.
366
00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:58,914
- Ready?
367
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,916
- Uh, okay.
368
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,787
We made our decision.
369
00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:04,267
- We're moving in with you.
370
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,008
I feel so excited about this!
371
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:07,531
[both yelling excitedly]
372
00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:09,577
- They're moving in with us!
373
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,013
[both chuckling]
374
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,928
[audience cheering]
375
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,712
- Hey, here's an idea.
How about we switch?
376
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:16,105
- Oh, right.
377
00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:17,977
[yelling excitedly]
378
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:20,588
♪
379
00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:23,547
.
380
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:24,679
[upbeat music]
381
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:27,116
- This is so crazy.
382
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,378
So how have you been?
383
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:30,859
- Yeah, I've been,
you know, okay.
384
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:33,601
I've got to be honest with
you though, I've, um...
385
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,342
I never stopped thinking
about you.
386
00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:37,257
- Well, of course.
387
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:38,910
[zipping]
388
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:42,349
You probably read the reviews
389
00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:44,699
of my new show
"Gaybraham Twinkin'."
390
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,136
"Timeout New York" said,
391
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:50,444
"Hopefully, the only gay
Abraham Lincoln musical
392
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:52,402
we'll ever see."
393
00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:59,540
- Jack, I--I--come here.
394
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,716
I made a huge mistake.
395
00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:03,500
I should've never broken up
with you.
396
00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:06,199
- Drew, I--I...
397
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:07,939
I'm getting married.
398
00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:10,246
- I mean, I was married
when we first met.
399
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,682
- Yeah, to a woman.
400
00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:14,076
That doesn't count.
401
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,643
It's just a way
to share health insurance
402
00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:17,427
and double your wardrobe.
403
00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:20,561
- Tell me you haven't thought
about me.
404
00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:23,085
- I have.
405
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:26,088
I've had this exact dream
so many times!
406
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:29,048
Except we weren't
in an elevator.
407
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:31,441
- This isn't a dream.
408
00:17:31,485 --> 00:17:33,139
You know,
I'm here right now
409
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:35,271
and, uh...
410
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:36,925
my gay cop instincts
are telling me
411
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:39,884
to charge you with intent
to get frisky.
412
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:42,409
- Tell me, Officer,
what's the punishment
413
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:44,585
for aggravated hanky-panky?
414
00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:46,804
[both chuckling]
415
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:51,331
[radio static]
416
00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:52,419
- Everything okay down there?
417
00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:53,768
- Yeah, yeah, um,
418
00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,944
uh, yeah, no need for backup
419
00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:58,077
and if you hear anything
that sounds like kissing,
420
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,600
it's, um...
421
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:02,472
it's probably not kissing.
422
00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:04,909
So...
423
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,737
What do you say?
424
00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:09,784
- This--this doesn't mean
we're getting back together.
425
00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,046
- Okay.
426
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:14,093
- Because I--I'm
not calling off my wedding.
427
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:15,137
- Okay.
428
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:17,183
- I'm just a man
429
00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:20,142
towering over a smaller man
430
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:22,579
trying to listen
to what his heart says.
431
00:18:22,623 --> 00:18:24,538
- What does his heart say?
432
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:27,497
- His heart says...
433
00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:31,458
Not to be this guy anymore.
434
00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:33,808
- What guy?
435
00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:35,766
- The guy that--[scoffs]
436
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,681
takes the first opportunity
to cheat
437
00:18:37,725 --> 00:18:40,989
when the perfect man
drops from the sky.
438
00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:42,773
I'm sorry, Drew.
439
00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:45,036
No one can tempt me
more than you.
440
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:50,216
You're a delicious, cocoa-sized
mini-marshmallow
441
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:52,609
but love has changed me.
442
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,873
- I guess the men
I've been with
443
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:58,398
feel like I can
take care of myself.
444
00:18:58,441 --> 00:19:03,620
Given some of my lovers, I've
had to take care of myself.
445
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:05,709
- [chuckles]
446
00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:07,972
- If you know what
I'm talking about.
447
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,366
- I do.
448
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:15,066
- I'm talking about making
my Venus feel Serena.
449
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:19,549
[audience cheering]
450
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,856
Mm-hmm.
451
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:24,902
- Did not see that one coming.
452
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:28,341
- Well, but you know
what they say,
453
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:32,693
in every relationship, there's
a gardener and a flower.
454
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,564
Guess I'm the gardener.
455
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:36,610
- Oh, come on.
- What?
456
00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:39,003
- You're a flower
if I've ever seen one.
457
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:42,181
- You think I'm a flower?
458
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,617
- Definitely.
459
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:46,141
And you deserve
to be taken care of.
460
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:50,711
Hey, it stopped snowing.
461
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:52,191
Uh, guess you can call
your pilot.
462
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:54,584
I have never said
that sentence before.
463
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,240
- Yeah.
464
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:01,939
I guess I could,
but I don't think I will.
465
00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:02,766
- Why?
466
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,378
- Because right now
467
00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:07,945
I feel very taken care of.
468
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:22,133
Oh, girl.
469
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:26,399
[upbeat music]
470
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:28,444
♪
471
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:30,968
- Hey, scoot!
Grace is coming over!
472
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:34,972
- Of course, but when
she actually moves out,
473
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:37,410
she won't be here
all the time, right?
474
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,716
- It's cute
that you'd ask that.
475
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:42,980
- Hi!
476
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:46,636
Uh, in bed with gay guys.
If I had a nickel.
477
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,248
- [chuckles]
478
00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:51,641
- [chuckles]
479
00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:53,469
Why am I not surprised?
480
00:20:53,513 --> 00:20:56,255
- Climb in, Noah.
It's so cozy.
481
00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:58,996
- Yeah, all right.
482
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:01,347
[audience cheering]
483
00:21:01,397 --> 00:21:05,947
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