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1
00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:04,064
[bells jingling]
2
00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:06,457
MAN:
Ho! Ho! Ho!
3
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:09,199
Merry Christmas!
4
00:01:09,243 --> 00:01:11,593
♪ Here comes Santa Claus,
here comes Santa Claus ♪
5
00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:14,248
♪ Right down Santa Claus Lane
6
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:16,946
♪ Vixen and Blitzen
and all his reindeer ♪
7
00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:19,688
♪ Pulling on the reins
8
00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:21,907
♪ Bells are ringing,
children singing ♪
9
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:23,909
♪ All is merry and bright
10
00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:25,868
♪ Hang your stockings...
11
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Oh, no, Santa Claus,
don't come to town. Aw, no.
12
00:01:29,263 --> 00:01:30,916
♪ Here comes Santa Claus...
13
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:34,485
Oh, God, you're killin' me
with this Qallunaat shit.
14
00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:36,400
Come on, turn it off, bro.
Please?
15
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:37,706
♪ For the boys
and girls again... ♪
16
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:39,708
Oh, God. Okay, come on.
17
00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,144
Isn't it supposed
to be on, like,
18
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,277
police radio
or something, Officer?
19
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,931
It ison police radio.
20
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:48,456
Captain Pendleton has
dispatch play Christmas music
21
00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:50,719
on Christmas Eve.That's stupid.
22
00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,634
It's just one night a year.
23
00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:55,027
Yeah, Christmas
maybe, but they
24
00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:56,899
have been shoving
their way of life
25
00:01:56,942 --> 00:01:59,249
on people everywhere
they show up.
26
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:03,340
You know, they want me to live
my life off of three wise guys
27
00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:08,258
who followed a star to a barn
to find some magic kid?
28
00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:09,912
And that's supposed
to be more spiritual
29
00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:12,610
than-than our ancestors dancing
on the northern lights
30
00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:15,700
while they watch down on us?
31
00:02:15,744 --> 00:02:17,267
[groans]
32
00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:21,010
Qallunaat Christmas makes me
feel like such a loser.
33
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:23,273
[burps]It's your lucky day.
34
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:25,971
Every year, Captain
Pendleton makes a big show
35
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,712
at our Christmas party.
36
00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:30,889
He pardons an inmate
in the holding cell.
37
00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:33,414
It's been a slow year, and
he didn't have anyone to pardon,
38
00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:36,373
so... you're it. Congrats.
39
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:38,027
Wait. What?!
40
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:40,812
Okay, so, you-you're pulling in
your own brother
41
00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:43,815
on a bullshit charge
just to let me go?
42
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:46,253
Oh, now,
come on, Yuka.
43
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:48,516
I mean, I know
you're a sellout,
44
00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:50,822
but bullshit you are not.
45
00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:52,737
How can you stand working
46
00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:55,740
for that lying sack of shit
every day?
47
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:58,221
Ah, it's tough, Jack.
Just the sound of his voice
48
00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:00,049
makes me want
to punch something.
49
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:03,270
[scoffs] Yeah, well, unless
you're the lead sled dog.
50
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:05,446
[chuckling]:
Guess the view's
pretty much the same.
51
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:08,100
♪ Hear those sleigh bells
jingle jangle... ♪
52
00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:10,190
I'm sorry for dragging
you in, Jack, but...[scoffs]
53
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,756
Nah.
54
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,758
You won't be alone
for a couple hours and...
55
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,107
Oh.
56
00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:17,066
...you'll get some turkey.What?
57
00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,329
Really?
58
00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:20,722
♪ Right down
Santa Claus Lane... ♪
59
00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:22,811
What about some pie?
I want some pie.
60
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:25,944
If you're lucky.If I'm...
61
00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:28,251
♪ 'Cause Santa Claus
comes tonight... ♪
62
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,775
Ah, fuck Santa Claus!
63
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:33,996
Cheer up, Jack. You'll be back
on that barstool in an hour.
64
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:47,357
[electrical whoosh]
65
00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,498
Whoa.
66
00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,587
What the hell is that?
67
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:03,025
I don't know.
68
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:07,159
I mean, it's too much of a point
to be the northern lights.
69
00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:09,597
Must be a low polar
orbit satellite.
70
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,381
Oh, no, no, no.
71
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,427
It must be for you,
72
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:17,300
'cause "Yuka" means "shining"
and "brilliant" in Inuit, right?
73
00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:18,910
Although not
74
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:22,000
so fucking brilliant
when you fuckin' arrest me.
75
00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:25,395
♪ Who's that walking
in the snow... ♪
76
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:28,006
PENDLETON:
All right! Gather around.
77
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,660
Time for a little
Secret Santa here!
78
00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,096
[cheering]
79
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:33,621
And it's no secret
that I'll be your Santa again.
80
00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:35,492
[laughter]Can I get a "ho ho ho"?
81
00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:37,059
ALL:
Ho! Ho! Ho!
82
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:39,844
You people'd have to go
1,500 miles to the North Pole
83
00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:41,846
to find a better
Santa than me.[laughter]
84
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,935
Would you take that, dear?[all groaning]
85
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,676
MAN:
Doesn't the base know
it's Christmas Eve?
86
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,939
Hey, Santa, how about our own
power grid for Christmas?
87
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,463
MATHESON:
Eat shit, Buzz.
88
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:52,074
That does it.
Mayor's on the naughty list!
89
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:54,163
You heard him.Bad boy.
90
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:56,165
PENDLETON:
All right, all right.
Arch Houghton? Where's Arch?
91
00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:58,298
We got a Secret Santa for ya.MAN: Okay.
92
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,256
PENDLETON:
There you go.
Merry Christmas.
93
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,214
[cheering, indistinct chatter]
94
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,869
I got you, too. Get over here.
95
00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:06,828
Hey, look--
she busted her brother!
96
00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:09,047
[cheering, booing]
97
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,571
RITA: Your Christmas
is saved, Lane!
98
00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:11,963
Uh-huh.
99
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,835
ALL [chanting]:
Jack! Jack! Jack!
100
00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:15,793
Jack! Jack! Jack!PENDLETON: All right.
101
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,360
Jack! Jack! Jack!All right, all right.
102
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,927
Take it easy. Take it easy.Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack!
103
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,320
She's got work
to do. Mayor?
104
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,191
Yes, sir.Get over here.
105
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,367
He knows what it is.Booze for him...
106
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:27,936
This guy needs it in here.[oohing, laughter]
107
00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:29,372
MAN:
Look at that, honey.
108
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:30,765
WOMAN:
Oh, great.
109
00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:32,375
MAN [muffled]:
Three cheers
for the mayor!
110
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:34,508
Hip, hip, hooray!
111
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,988
[muffled, indistinct chatter]
112
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,958
[beeps, buzzes]
113
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,599
So, when do I
get pardoned?
114
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:25,776
I'll come back and get you
115
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,605
after Captain Pendleton's
done hearing himself talk.
116
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,955
So is that when
I get pie-- after that?
117
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:32,827
'Cause I'm kind
of hungry now.
118
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,829
Yes. Don't worry.
119
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:37,092
You'll get your pie.
120
00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:39,137
I promise.
121
00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:41,183
It won't be long.
122
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,803
[door closes]
123
00:06:54,979 --> 00:07:00,202
♪ Santa please come early
this Christmas ♪
124
00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:05,163
♪ And bring something special
for me ♪
125
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:07,427
[bells jingling]
126
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:09,951
♪ Ooh-ooh
127
00:07:09,994 --> 00:07:13,041
[sighs]♪ Ooh-ooh
128
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:15,217
Well, I'm humbled.♪ Santa...
129
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,045
[electrical whoosh]
130
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:19,917
As I have been
since I started this tradition
131
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:23,268
some... 20 years ago?
132
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:24,792
Hmm.
133
00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,707
♪ Praying, Santa, please...♪
134
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:29,318
You know, every Christmas Eve...
135
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:31,276
I like to look out
that window there,
136
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,845
and I envision those...
those Three Wise Men
137
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:38,370
just looking up
at that Star of Bethlehem.
138
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:41,243
Same stars
that my ancestors looked at
139
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:43,811
when they first arrived
to tame
140
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:47,336
and make this the great
49th state of Alaska.
141
00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:50,121
Before that... what
was there out here?
142
00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:51,949
Bunch of bears
and Eskimos?
143
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:54,038
That's about it.
144
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:56,780
Tonight, above all nights,
145
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,652
I thank Jesus...
146
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,915
for my responsibilities
He has bestowed upon me.
147
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,482
First,
148
00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:04,832
to my duty
to defend my country
149
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,834
and work
to support our neighbors
150
00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:09,053
at the Cheney Air Force
Listening Station
151
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,795
with their state-of-the-art
LRD radar.
152
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:14,537
Hmm? We may just be a modest
little community down here.
153
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:18,062
Little outpost 151,
but we support
154
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:21,413
that high-tech station
with our low-tech values.
155
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,111
WOMAN: Yes.Am I right?
156
00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:24,982
Oh, yeah.
MAN: Yeah!Now, I know
157
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:27,115
it's a hassle when
they get a little greedy
158
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:30,118
with our power grid, but
they rely on us for supplies,
159
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:31,859
and we offer police protection
160
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:34,775
outside that base
365 days out of the year.
161
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:36,211
MAN: Yeah!
Yes!
162
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,778
[whooping, laughter]
163
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,910
Tonight we got a duty
164
00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:43,566
to a...
a greater superior officer.
165
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:46,395
So, on this night,
night before His birthday,
166
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:49,441
He would have us remember
that He wants us to be kind
167
00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,966
to strangers and
visitors and stuff.
168
00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:54,577
"I was hungry, you gave me
something to eat."
169
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:57,449
Mm-hmm."I was thirsty and you
170
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,539
"gave me something to drink.
171
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:02,803
I was a stranger, and you said,
'Come on inside here.'"
172
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,892
And all the folks said,
"When-when was this?"
173
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:08,460
And you said, "When you were
being nice to a stranger,
174
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:10,680
you were being nice to me."
Right?
175
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,160
But the point is,
you all know
176
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:13,553
what I'm saying.
Unless you've been living
177
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,206
in a cave somewhere,
you know
178
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,557
every year,
I am kind to a stranger
179
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,559
as long
as they ain't killed nobody,
180
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,865
or tried to terrorist-attack
that Air Force base.
181
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,432
That would be a red line.
182
00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:25,521
[laughter]
183
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,523
So tonight, once again,
184
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,047
I would like
to pardon a stranger.
185
00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:32,789
Yuka, dear, could you please
go fetch the stranger
186
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:35,009
to be kind to?
187
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:37,402
Of course
I won't call him a stranger,
188
00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,491
seeing it was your brother Jack
you brought in here,
189
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:41,189
and I've known Jack
since about ever.
190
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:43,626
[laughter]
191
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,889
I shouldn't say that.
192
00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:50,024
[muffled, indistinct chatter]
193
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,287
[sighs]
194
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:57,553
[electrical click, buzzing]
195
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:04,168
[buzzes]
196
00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:07,781
[snoring]
197
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:13,090
Jack?[loud snoring]
198
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,136
Hey, Jack?
199
00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:19,401
Goddamn grid.
200
00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:23,057
[snoring continues]
201
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,712
Jack?
202
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,670
[loud snoring]
Jacko.
203
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,542
Wake up.
204
00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,588
[gasps]
205
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:48,735
How'd you get in there?
206
00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:59,746
Who are you?
207
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,361
I want to be pardoned.
208
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:11,279
Just like you...
209
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:13,803
will want to be pardoned.
210
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:18,068
Meet Sergeant Yuka Mongoyak,
211
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,679
a woman with a knack
212
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:22,638
for detecting
the most subtle of mistruths.
213
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:26,642
On this night, a night
of the most powerful of myths,
214
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,471
that skill will be tested
like never before.
215
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,473
She's about to learn
216
00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:33,736
that the truth can take
many different forms,
217
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,912
depending on how you look at it.
218
00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:40,134
Because tonight,
Sergeant Yuka's vantage point
219
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:42,353
is at the very heart...
220
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:45,139
of The Twilight Zone.
221
00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:46,967
[The Twilight Zonetheme
playing]
222
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,751
NARRATOR: You're traveling
through another dimension,
223
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:51,885
a dimension not only of
sight and sound but of mind.
224
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:55,149
It is the middle ground
between light and shadow,
225
00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:57,891
between science
and superstition.
226
00:11:57,934 --> 00:12:00,284
And it lies between
the pit of one's fears
227
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:02,852
and the summit
of one's knowledge.
228
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:06,551
You are now traveling through
a dimension of imagination.
229
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:10,425
You've just crossed over
into The Twilight Zone.
230
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:18,259
[indistinct chatter]
231
00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:32,795
♪ When the kids
are fast asleep ♪
232
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:36,016
♪ Gently down the stairs
we'll creep ♪
233
00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:37,887
♪ Then we'll lock and bolt
234
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:40,281
♪ All the doors Yuka?
235
00:12:40,324 --> 00:12:42,936
♪ Just you and me
and Santa Claus... ♪
236
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:45,808
Hey!
237
00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:47,331
[buzzes]
238
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:50,421
Hey. What is taking so long?
239
00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:52,554
Someone's in here, Captain!
240
00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:55,339
Is Jack screwing around again?I don't know
241
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:57,559
who this is in cell three,
or how he got here.
242
00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,517
What the hell
are you talkin' about?
243
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:01,128
I got all these
people up here.
244
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:03,043
They're waiting for me.
245
00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:08,700
He wants to be pardoned.
246
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:10,659
What the fuck is this?
247
00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:14,402
An elf escape
from Santa's workshop?
248
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:17,144
Who...
249
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:19,363
who-who is...
250
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:20,930
who the hell is this,
251
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:22,845
and wh-why... why is
he wearing a suit?
252
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,891
You're throwing a party.
253
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:26,893
I'm dressed for the best party.
254
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,503
Uh, one thing, though,
255
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,113
and I hate to be
the one, but...
256
00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:33,769
I actually came
from the North Pole, and...
257
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,205
there's no workshop
up there.
258
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,381
Just a bunch of snow.
259
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:40,820
Came from the
North Pole, huh?
260
00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,822
Yeah, I just...
flew over it
261
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,214
on my way over here.
262
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:46,564
[chuckles softly]
I've been everywhere.
263
00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:48,305
I'm actually a, uh...
264
00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:50,307
I'm an extreme tourist.
265
00:13:50,351 --> 00:13:52,483
It's a thing.
Have you heard about it?
266
00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:56,226
Mayor put you two up to this?
267
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,924
Don't look at me.
268
00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:00,578
[chuckles]:
No, I actually have
my own YouTube channel.
269
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:03,103
It's called The Aggro
Traveler's Bucket List.
270
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:05,757
I legally had my name changed
in California
271
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,542
to A. Traveler.
272
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:08,760
[chuckles]
273
00:14:08,804 --> 00:14:11,067
I visit the hardest
places to get to.
274
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:13,026
Most people,
they end up on Thanksgiving
275
00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:15,376
at Montage Kapalua Bay,
and they're like,
276
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:18,205
"I should've gone
to Iglaak, Alaska,
277
00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:20,729
"to be pardoned
by Captain Lane Pendleton
278
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:22,905
on Christmas Eve. Duh."
279
00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:26,256
Are you shittin' me?
280
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,867
I mean, they-they've
heard about this?
281
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:29,912
They've heard about me
all the way up here?
282
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,435
Are you kidding me?
283
00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:34,699
Any aggro traveler
anywhere in the world knows
284
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:37,528
about Captain Lane Pendleton's
Christmas Eve pardons.
285
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:42,969
That to be here in Iglaak
on Christmas Eve sits...
286
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:46,494
high on any extreme
tourist bucket list.
287
00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:48,713
Ride a train
to the top of Jungfraujoch.
288
00:14:48,757 --> 00:14:50,585
Dive off Stari Most bridge.
289
00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:53,588
Kiss Dee Dee Ramone's tombstone
at Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
290
00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:55,938
Get pardoned
by Captain Lane Pendleton
291
00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:58,332
on Christmas Eve in Iglaak,
292
00:14:58,375 --> 00:14:59,463
Alaska.
293
00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:00,725
[chuckles]
294
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,510
I did not realize.
295
00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:04,077
I could see it, though.
296
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,035
I could.Would that
mean, um...
297
00:15:06,079 --> 00:15:08,995
uh, Captain Pendleton,
would you...
298
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,301
would you pardon me tonight?
299
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,261
Oh, yeah, uh...
300
00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:16,350
Well, let me think about that
301
00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,134
one, uh...
302
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,310
Hmm...
[chuckles]
303
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,225
Have you committed
any crime?
304
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:26,186
Only waiting so long
to come here.
305
00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:28,840
[laughs]Y-You know, you said
you got a YouTube.
306
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:31,495
Maybe you can video
me-me pardon you,
307
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:34,672
and put it on the
show, if you want.Yeah. Absolutely.
308
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,196
You know what, I'll video it...
309
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:42,028
[quietly]:
Just a phone.
310
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:44,595
I'll throw it up
online,
311
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,423
and that way
all the extreme tourists
312
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:48,730
can see for themselves
just how truly charming
313
00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:51,124
you and this town are.Well, it's a good town.
314
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,387
[chuckles]
If you do this
tonight, Captain,
315
00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:56,694
there'll be a lot more people
just like me here next year.
316
00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:59,959
Yeah, you know that-that show
Alaskan Trooperson Nat Geo,
317
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:01,786
they just totally
blew us off.
318
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:04,398
I think it's just 'cause the
Air Force base up the road
319
00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:06,052
doesn't like people
poking around.
320
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,792
What kind of phone is this?
321
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,751
Oh, Jesus, look
at that thing.
322
00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:11,405
Who makes that?
323
00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:13,320
It's a Russian design.
324
00:16:15,104 --> 00:16:17,411
It's Russian-made?
325
00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:19,413
The Russians don't
makeanything.
326
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:21,981
They steal everything.Oh, no, no,
327
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:25,288
that actually already has
an 8K video resolution.
328
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:26,986
It's a beta, but...
329
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,205
I'm sure if I said it was
for Captain Pendleton,
330
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:31,251
I could get you one.
331
00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:33,253
Well, they're just across
our front yard there,
332
00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:35,864
across the Chukchi
Sea, the Russians.
I know.
333
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:37,909
They know all about you.
334
00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:44,003
All right, well, doesn't look
like it's gonna be Jack's night,
335
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:46,222
so give him his phone
back, unlock him.
336
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:48,137
I gotta pardon this guy.
337
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:50,400
Captain.
338
00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:53,316
[quietly]: We should run
a 10-29 active warrants search.
339
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,145
Now? There's not gonna be
anybody there tonight.
340
00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:58,452
It's all done online.
341
00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:01,194
PENDLETON:
Well, what is
your concern, Sergeant?
342
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:03,544
YUKA: You said it.
Russian-made things are crap.
343
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:04,893
This is not
344
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,155
a Russian phone.
345
00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:08,027
Why is he lying?
346
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,116
This could be a 10-96.
347
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,857
All right, you check it out,
348
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:15,686
and I'll pardon him, huh?But what if we get a hit?
349
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:18,472
We'll arrest him again.
350
00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:20,343
[claps hands]
351
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:27,872
You have I.D.?
352
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,091
Oh.
353
00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,973
[smacks lips]
Ooh. Bright.
354
00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:54,203
♪
355
00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:58,207
[snoring]
356
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,000
Right down here, we call
this "The Corridor."
357
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:11,090
Oh. I got to tell you,
this is incredible.
358
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,743
The crowd's gonna be
excited to see you.
359
00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:16,225
[chatter continues indistinctly]
360
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:18,488
♪
361
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,148
[band playing lively music]
362
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:28,498
WOMAN:
♪ Jingle all the way
363
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,979
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
364
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:32,850
♪ In a one-horse open...
365
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:35,288
[band continues playing][indistinct chatter]
366
00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:36,898
Hey, lookee here,
367
00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:38,595
lookee here, the Good
Lord has brought us
368
00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:41,381
an honest-to-goodness stranger
369
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:43,209
to actually pardon
here tonight.
370
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:44,906
[music stops]Now, Jack Mongoyak
371
00:18:44,949 --> 00:18:46,516
is back there
sleeping it off,
372
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:47,909
but I'm not too worried.
373
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:49,867
We'll just pardon him next year.
He'll be back.
374
00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:52,174
[laughter]Meanwhile,
375
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,176
this guy may be a
stranger, everybody,
376
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,873
but he's...
he's a great guy.
377
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:59,094
In fact, he's... he's
a little bit of a celebrity.
378
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,791
He's got a-a show
379
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:01,923
on the YouTube.
380
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,359
[others gasping]Yeah.
381
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:06,493
Yeah. And-and it's about
visiting cool places. Right?
382
00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:08,147
So I figure
since he's here tonight,
383
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,105
we must be... cool, too.
384
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,107
And I'm not talking
about the weather.
385
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,718
[laughter]
386
00:19:14,762 --> 00:19:17,286
Oh. Let me, uh,
just do this here.
387
00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:19,462
All right.
388
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:22,813
Hey, this is A. Traveler,
and I am finally,
389
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:24,424
finally here.
390
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:25,947
I am so far up north,
391
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:28,079
I'm a hundred miles
from the Arctic Circle
392
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:30,256
here in Iglaak, Alaska.
Everyone say "hello!"
393
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:32,997
ALL:
Hello!
394
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:34,912
Now, it is Christmas Eve.
395
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:37,263
That means you know who this is.
396
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:40,614
And I'm not talking
about no Santa Claus.
397
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:43,312
It's Captain Lane Pendleton,
everyone!
398
00:19:43,356 --> 00:19:44,835
[others cheering, shouting]
399
00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:46,315
PENDLETON:
Oh, no, no...
400
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,231
YUKA: Houghton.Sir, would-would
it be okay if I...
401
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,407
got a selfie with
the troopers?Oh, what the hell!
402
00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:52,800
All right!Thank you.
403
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:54,889
I want to know how
he got in the cell.
404
00:19:54,932 --> 00:19:56,630
Did you put
him in there?No.
405
00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:59,415
TRAVELER:
Everybody say "Iglaak"
on three, okay? One, two,
406
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:00,416
three.
407
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:01,809
ALL:
Iglaak!
408
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:04,333
There was that set of keys
missing from last winter,
409
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:07,075
and we never changed the locks,
because Lupino lost them
410
00:20:07,118 --> 00:20:09,599
in six feet of snow, and we
figured no one'd find them.
411
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,253
PENDLETON:
All right,
all right,
412
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,776
let's do this thing.
Houghton, grab the chair.
413
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:16,606
And, ladies and
gentlemen, attention!
414
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:20,088
Where's the chair?HOUGHTON:
Back there.
415
00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:23,265
PENDLETON:
All right, all right,
come on back here.
416
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:25,049
Merry Christmas, John.
417
00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:26,660
It's Sergeant Yuka Mongoyak.
418
00:20:26,703 --> 00:20:27,922
[taps keyboard]Oh, yeah.
419
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:30,229
Party's in full swing.
420
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:32,274
The pardoning just started,
which is why I called.
421
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:34,015
Have you had
any guests check in?
422
00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:37,148
May go by the name of A.
Traveler, wearing a black suit,
423
00:20:37,192 --> 00:20:38,759
five-nine, not from here.
424
00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:41,675
YUKA: City type.Thank you, just...
425
00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:43,851
I.D. says California.
426
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:50,205
[sighs]:
No, huh?
427
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,554
Okay.
428
00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,034
Hmm.
429
00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:55,341
All right, well,
you have a nice Christmas.
430
00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:58,692
PENDLETON:
With the power vested in me...
431
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,696
...I hereby declare you pardoned
432
00:21:02,739 --> 00:21:05,786
from our jail cell in Iglaak...
433
00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:07,701
Alaska.
And, of course,
from all of us,
434
00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:09,529
Merry Christmas, sir.
435
00:21:09,572 --> 00:21:11,444
[cheering, whooping]
436
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:12,793
Thank you.
437
00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:15,012
Can I... can
I say something?
438
00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:16,840
Um...
439
00:21:16,884 --> 00:21:19,669
on part of my journey up here,
440
00:21:19,713 --> 00:21:22,411
I rode
the Trans-Siberian Railway
441
00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:24,892
nonstop for eight days,
442
00:21:24,935 --> 00:21:27,286
from Moscow to Vladivostok.
443
00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:29,462
And along that ride,
444
00:21:29,505 --> 00:21:31,594
so many people came up to me
445
00:21:31,638 --> 00:21:35,903
to ask me about that tough
American sheriff in Iglaak
446
00:21:35,946 --> 00:21:37,774
that they all admired.
447
00:21:37,818 --> 00:21:39,733
[laughter, lively chatter]Now, they even said
448
00:21:39,776 --> 00:21:42,039
that the North Koreans
told the Russians
449
00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:45,129
that if they ever were
gonna attack the United States,
450
00:21:45,173 --> 00:21:48,176
that they'd have to go
around Captain Pendleton
451
00:21:48,219 --> 00:21:51,266
and the entire town
of Iglaak, Alaska!
452
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:54,008
[cheering]That's right. That's right.
453
00:21:54,051 --> 00:21:56,097
That's the truth!
454
00:21:56,140 --> 00:21:57,794
Crank up the music.
455
00:21:57,838 --> 00:21:59,840
Merry Christmas.
This is Sergeant Yuka Mongoyak
456
00:21:59,883 --> 00:22:02,799
with the Alaska State Troopers
Iglaak Post.
457
00:22:02,843 --> 00:22:04,410
Sorry to trouble you
on Christmas Eve,
458
00:22:04,453 --> 00:22:06,499
but I'm inquiring to see
if there are any personnel
459
00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:08,675
considered AWOL from
your Air Force base?
460
00:22:08,718 --> 00:22:10,981
PENDLETON:
Shall we get this party going?
461
00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:12,766
OTHERS:
Yeah!
462
00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:14,550
[sighs heavily]
463
00:22:14,594 --> 00:22:16,987
Or have any alerts been issued
on suspicious individuals
464
00:22:17,031 --> 00:22:18,598
in the area?
465
00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:21,470
I appreciate
your help.
466
00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:22,645
You, too.
467
00:22:22,689 --> 00:22:25,126
Merry Christmas.
468
00:22:25,169 --> 00:22:27,215
[lively chatter continues]
469
00:22:27,258 --> 00:22:29,391
♪ On Christmas Eve
470
00:22:29,435 --> 00:22:31,045
♪ And you're
calling it a night ♪
471
00:22:31,088 --> 00:22:33,395
♪ Just know if Santa's happy
472
00:22:33,439 --> 00:22:36,442
♪ The presents
will come all right ♪
473
00:22:36,485 --> 00:22:37,965
♪ Make Santa happy
474
00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:41,142
[lively chatter continues]
475
00:22:41,185 --> 00:22:43,797
♪ Make Santa happy
476
00:22:45,451 --> 00:22:48,628
Captain Pendleton
just pardoned me...
477
00:22:48,671 --> 00:22:50,804
and you're looking
to put me back in jail?
478
00:22:53,502 --> 00:22:56,592
You haven't believed a single
word out of my mouth, have you?
479
00:22:56,636 --> 00:22:58,812
Captain Pendleton does, but...
480
00:22:58,855 --> 00:23:00,466
not you.
481
00:23:02,293 --> 00:23:04,861
Now, that's the first
honest thing you've said.
482
00:23:06,733 --> 00:23:09,300
Don't you want to open up the
present that I brought for you?
483
00:23:12,478 --> 00:23:15,698
What you'd like most
for Christmas?
484
00:23:15,742 --> 00:23:17,439
♪ To make sure
you've done right ♪
485
00:23:17,483 --> 00:23:19,528
I don't believe in Christmas.
486
00:23:19,572 --> 00:23:21,051
♪ Make Santa happy
487
00:23:21,095 --> 00:23:23,097
♪ No coal in your stocking
this year ♪
488
00:23:23,140 --> 00:23:25,142
You believe in what you believe.
489
00:23:25,186 --> 00:23:27,754
Isn't that what Christmas
is all about?
490
00:23:29,103 --> 00:23:30,452
♪ Make Santa happy
491
00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:33,455
♪ No coal in your stocking
this year ♪
492
00:23:33,499 --> 00:23:35,501
♪ You gotta make Santa happy
493
00:23:35,544 --> 00:23:38,721
♪ If you want
a Merry Christmas ♪
494
00:23:38,765 --> 00:23:41,420
♪ This year.
495
00:23:46,337 --> 00:23:49,819
[door opens]
496
00:23:49,863 --> 00:23:51,473
YUKA:
Jack?
497
00:23:51,517 --> 00:23:52,648
[snoring]
498
00:23:52,692 --> 00:23:54,041
Hey, Jack?
499
00:23:54,084 --> 00:23:55,956
[metallic clacking]Oh, what? What?
500
00:23:55,999 --> 00:23:57,392
I brought you
501
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,525
some turkey and stuffing.Okay, thanks.
502
00:23:59,568 --> 00:24:02,484
Hey, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
503
00:24:02,528 --> 00:24:05,139
When the fuck am I
getting out of here, Yuka?
504
00:24:05,182 --> 00:24:07,315
Are you fucking me over?
505
00:24:07,358 --> 00:24:09,622
And by the way, do you
see any pie on here?
506
00:24:09,665 --> 00:24:11,754
Turkey now, pie later.
507
00:24:11,798 --> 00:24:13,060
[scoffs]
508
00:24:13,103 --> 00:24:14,453
[quietly]:
Bullshit.
509
00:24:18,065 --> 00:24:19,588
Hey, Jack?
510
00:24:27,074 --> 00:24:30,730
What would you say is the thing
I'd want most for Christmas?
511
00:24:30,773 --> 00:24:32,601
Fuck Christmas.
512
00:24:32,645 --> 00:24:34,473
Okay, yeah, but...
513
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:36,300
what if?
514
00:24:36,344 --> 00:24:38,041
I don't know.
515
00:24:39,652 --> 00:24:42,524
Maybe to be one of them.
516
00:24:46,963 --> 00:24:50,880
I honestly don't know
if you know who you are anymore.
517
00:24:50,924 --> 00:24:52,882
I know who I am.
518
00:24:52,926 --> 00:24:54,971
And I'm proud of who I am.
519
00:24:55,015 --> 00:24:56,625
At least
I'm doing something.
520
00:24:56,669 --> 00:24:58,235
Yeah, theirway.
521
00:25:05,112 --> 00:25:06,679
♪
522
00:25:06,722 --> 00:25:08,942
[distorted, echoing voices]
523
00:25:13,381 --> 00:25:16,906
[distorted laughter,
cheering, clapping]
524
00:25:20,910 --> 00:25:22,912
[distorted, echoing
marching band music]
525
00:25:26,394 --> 00:25:28,744
TRAVELER:
♪ Old Mr. Kringle is soon
526
00:25:28,788 --> 00:25:31,094
♪ Gonna jingle
the bells that'll tingle ♪
527
00:25:31,138 --> 00:25:33,183
♪ All your troubles away
528
00:25:33,227 --> 00:25:36,056
♪ Everybody's waiting
for the man with the bag ♪
529
00:25:36,099 --> 00:25:38,885
♪ 'Cause Christmas
is coming again ♪
530
00:25:38,928 --> 00:25:40,713
Everybody![cheering]
531
00:25:40,756 --> 00:25:43,585
♪ He's got a sleigh full,
it's not gonna stay full ♪
532
00:25:43,629 --> 00:25:46,675
♪ Stuff that he's droppin'
every stop of the way ♪
533
00:25:46,719 --> 00:25:49,809
♪ Everybody's waiting
for the man with the bag ♪
534
00:25:49,852 --> 00:25:53,116
♪ 'Cause Christmas
is coming again ♪
535
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,250
♪ He'll be here
536
00:25:56,293 --> 00:25:58,034
♪ With the answers
to the prayers ♪
537
00:25:58,078 --> 00:26:00,080
♪ That you made
through the year ♪
538
00:26:00,123 --> 00:26:02,604
♪ You'll get yours
539
00:26:02,648 --> 00:26:06,216
♪ If you've done
everything you should ♪
540
00:26:06,260 --> 00:26:07,653
♪ Extra special good
541
00:26:07,696 --> 00:26:11,395
♪ He'll make this December
the one to remember ♪
542
00:26:11,439 --> 00:26:13,528
♪ The best and the merriest
543
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:15,008
♪ You ever did have
544
00:26:15,051 --> 00:26:17,358
♪ Everybody's waiting
for the man with the bag... ♪
545
00:26:17,401 --> 00:26:19,882
Oh, where is your
Christmas spirit, Yuka?
546
00:26:19,926 --> 00:26:22,058
You having a good time?
You want a drink?
547
00:26:22,102 --> 00:26:23,930
No, I'm good, thank you.
548
00:26:26,628 --> 00:26:28,587
10-97 on "A. Traveler."
549
00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:31,677
Oh, well, he's a good guy.
550
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,504
[sighs]
551
00:26:33,548 --> 00:26:35,637
I knew there wouldn't be
any priors on him.
552
00:26:36,682 --> 00:26:39,162
Do you want to release Jack
when he sobers up?
553
00:26:39,206 --> 00:26:42,339
I mean, we brought him in
intending to release him.
554
00:26:42,383 --> 00:26:44,951
I know he's drunk, but come on.
555
00:26:44,994 --> 00:26:48,389
Everyone is.
It's Christmas.
556
00:26:48,432 --> 00:26:50,304
He wasn't disorderly
in the first place
557
00:26:50,347 --> 00:26:52,872
or resisted arrest.
558
00:26:52,915 --> 00:26:56,440
Give me a chance
for a twofer pardon.
559
00:26:56,484 --> 00:26:58,878
Never done one of those before.
560
00:26:58,921 --> 00:27:00,662
Yes, Captain.
561
00:27:00,706 --> 00:27:02,664
Very jolly of you.
562
00:27:03,709 --> 00:27:05,188
All right, go fetch him.
563
00:27:05,232 --> 00:27:06,668
Let's do it. [clears throat]
564
00:27:06,712 --> 00:27:07,669
Thank you.
565
00:27:07,713 --> 00:27:10,454
TRAVELER:
Dance break!
566
00:27:10,498 --> 00:27:11,630
[cheering and laughter]
567
00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:13,980
[lively chatter]
568
00:27:17,723 --> 00:27:20,813
[all groaning]
569
00:27:20,856 --> 00:27:23,250
Oh, no.
There's still more song left.
570
00:27:23,293 --> 00:27:24,991
BUZZ:
Fucking Air Force base.
571
00:27:25,034 --> 00:27:26,470
MATHESON:
Come on, now.
572
00:27:26,514 --> 00:27:28,211
This town exists
because of that base.
573
00:27:28,255 --> 00:27:29,691
At this time next year,
574
00:27:29,735 --> 00:27:33,303
we will not be sharing
a power grid.
575
00:27:33,347 --> 00:27:34,870
RITA:
Stop your campaigning.
576
00:27:34,914 --> 00:27:36,872
We already reelected you
last month.
577
00:27:36,916 --> 00:27:38,134
MATHESON:
God.
578
00:27:38,178 --> 00:27:39,832
I'm getting so sick of you,
Colchack.
579
00:27:39,875 --> 00:27:43,270
The Air Force does not ask
to tap into our power grid.
580
00:27:43,313 --> 00:27:45,707
If it wasn't for them,
we wouldn't be here, so shut up.
581
00:27:45,751 --> 00:27:47,361
John, John,
you've had too much to drink.
582
00:27:47,404 --> 00:27:50,320
Stop talking about
the fucking grid and fix it!
583
00:27:50,364 --> 00:27:52,061
Do something!PENDLETON: Hey!
584
00:27:52,105 --> 00:27:53,715
Hey, relax.
It'll come back on.
585
00:27:53,759 --> 00:27:55,935
It always does,
everybody. Geez.
586
00:27:59,416 --> 00:28:00,940
[all exclaim]
587
00:28:00,983 --> 00:28:02,115
All right.There you go.
588
00:28:02,158 --> 00:28:03,638
Et voilà.
589
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:04,857
PENDLETON:
Now, listen,
before you crank up
590
00:28:04,900 --> 00:28:06,293
the Christmas
karaoke over there,
591
00:28:06,336 --> 00:28:07,947
it does occur to me
that we've got a...
592
00:28:07,990 --> 00:28:12,168
another prisoner back there
to offer a Christmas pardon to.
593
00:28:12,212 --> 00:28:14,475
[distorted]:
What do y'all think?
594
00:28:14,518 --> 00:28:15,694
Yeah.Yeah, let's do it.
595
00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:17,826
It's a twofer![cheering]
596
00:28:17,870 --> 00:28:20,176
All right, all right.
Arch, go grab
597
00:28:20,220 --> 00:28:21,569
Jack Mongoyak,
bring him out here.
598
00:28:21,612 --> 00:28:23,484
I wouldn't pardon Jack Mongoyak.
599
00:28:28,402 --> 00:28:31,884
You're missing some tools
from your snow machine shed.
600
00:28:33,929 --> 00:28:36,105
No, not that we're aware of.
601
00:28:36,149 --> 00:28:37,454
Now you know.
602
00:28:37,498 --> 00:28:39,892
About a thousand dollars' worth.
603
00:28:39,935 --> 00:28:42,721
They're in the trunk
of Jack Mongoyak's car.
604
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,986
Back at the bar where
Sergeant Mongoyak picked him up.
605
00:28:47,029 --> 00:28:49,466
Jack's never stole a thing
in his life.
606
00:28:49,510 --> 00:28:51,120
Fine.
607
00:28:51,164 --> 00:28:53,383
Don't believe me.
608
00:28:54,515 --> 00:28:56,125
I-Ida?
609
00:28:56,909 --> 00:28:58,780
[clears throat]
You mind running
610
00:28:58,824 --> 00:29:01,740
down the road
and checking on Jack's car?
611
00:29:01,783 --> 00:29:03,742
IDA:
Sure thing, Captain.
612
00:29:06,266 --> 00:29:09,008
Can I finish the song now?
613
00:29:09,051 --> 00:29:10,792
[Pendleton sighs]
614
00:29:10,836 --> 00:29:12,881
Um... [clears throat]
615
00:29:12,925 --> 00:29:14,665
How-How'd you know
about the tools?
616
00:29:14,709 --> 00:29:15,971
YUKA:
Captain,
617
00:29:16,015 --> 00:29:18,408
just 'cause he said it
doesn't mean it's true.
618
00:29:18,452 --> 00:29:20,933
Like everything else
he's said tonight.
619
00:29:20,976 --> 00:29:23,457
And if Trooper Lupino
finds the tools,
620
00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:25,938
I'd guess you stole them
and put them there.
621
00:29:25,981 --> 00:29:28,331
And if they're not there...
622
00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:31,334
wh-what would make you say
such a thing?
623
00:29:32,379 --> 00:29:34,120
[clears throat]
624
00:29:34,163 --> 00:29:36,775
It's 'cause I know things...
625
00:29:36,818 --> 00:29:39,690
about this town.
626
00:29:39,734 --> 00:29:43,085
And I know things
about you people.
627
00:29:46,959 --> 00:29:48,917
Rita,
628
00:29:48,961 --> 00:29:51,746
you're on a strict
two-drink limit,
629
00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:53,792
but that's your fifth glass
of eggnog.
630
00:29:53,835 --> 00:29:56,533
Not counting the two
shots of Patrón you had
631
00:29:56,577 --> 00:29:57,796
before you left the house.
632
00:29:57,839 --> 00:29:59,580
So what?
633
00:29:59,623 --> 00:30:01,408
It's Christmas.
634
00:30:01,451 --> 00:30:03,149
And Jacques,
635
00:30:03,192 --> 00:30:05,629
do you think your ex-wife
will be expecting
636
00:30:05,673 --> 00:30:07,588
those delinquent child support
payments in her stocking?
637
00:30:07,631 --> 00:30:08,981
What the hell
are you talking about?
638
00:30:09,024 --> 00:30:11,244
That's not true.
That's not even true.
639
00:30:11,287 --> 00:30:14,247
And, Mr. Colchack, your
bid on the construction
640
00:30:14,290 --> 00:30:15,901
of the airfield runway
out beyond the lagoon
641
00:30:15,944 --> 00:30:18,033
was the lowest
of all three bidders.
642
00:30:19,078 --> 00:30:21,689
You piece of shit.
643
00:30:21,732 --> 00:30:24,083
I knew it.Mayor Matheson over here
644
00:30:24,126 --> 00:30:26,128
awarded the project
to the Russian company
645
00:30:26,172 --> 00:30:28,652
across the Bering Strait.That has not been determined.
646
00:30:28,696 --> 00:30:30,437
BUZZ:
Now, see, I warned you
about this asshole!
647
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,047
How could you reelect him?
648
00:30:32,091 --> 00:30:34,745
Oh, like you didn't go down
on all the Air Force brass
649
00:30:34,789 --> 00:30:37,226
to get that bid for the cargo
loading apron at the base,
650
00:30:37,270 --> 00:30:39,533
Buzzy.Going down on?
651
00:30:39,576 --> 00:30:40,882
Now, that'ssomething
you know about.
652
00:30:40,926 --> 00:30:42,710
Hang on to this, honey!Oh, you wish, bitch!
653
00:30:42,753 --> 00:30:44,233
BUZZ: Rita!MATHESON: Hey, hey!
654
00:30:44,277 --> 00:30:45,408
[Rita and Dottie grunting]
655
00:30:45,452 --> 00:30:47,236
For crying out loud!
656
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,064
Hey, don't you touch me!
657
00:30:49,108 --> 00:30:50,326
[overlapping shouting]
658
00:30:58,117 --> 00:31:00,467
PENDLETON:
The party's over. Come on.DOTTIE: Let go of me! Thanks.
659
00:31:00,510 --> 00:31:02,382
The party's over,
everybody. Come on.Break it up.
660
00:31:02,425 --> 00:31:04,688
Grab your coats
and get your drunk heinies
661
00:31:04,732 --> 00:31:08,040
out of here.
Everybody.
662
00:31:08,083 --> 00:31:09,868
WOMAN:
Take it easy.
663
00:31:09,911 --> 00:31:11,173
PENDLETON:
Merry Christmas.
664
00:31:11,217 --> 00:31:13,219
Drive home safe. Let's go.
665
00:31:15,221 --> 00:31:16,613
Get him home safe.
666
00:31:16,657 --> 00:31:19,051
All right.
Merry Christmas.
667
00:31:42,726 --> 00:31:46,905
[wolf howling]
668
00:31:46,948 --> 00:31:49,516
PENDLETON: How the hell
did he get in that cell?
669
00:31:49,559 --> 00:31:51,474
And how'd you know
all these things?
670
00:31:51,518 --> 00:31:53,085
A. Traveler.
671
00:31:53,128 --> 00:31:54,738
Is that even
your real name?
672
00:31:54,782 --> 00:31:57,698
Hey, 15, this is Post.
673
00:31:57,741 --> 00:32:00,614
Y-You got a 10-71
on those tools yet?
674
00:32:00,657 --> 00:32:04,096
IDA:
Post, this is 15. It's 10-23.
675
00:32:04,139 --> 00:32:05,575
There were no tools
in Jack's car.
676
00:32:05,619 --> 00:32:08,491
Repeat,
negative on stolen tools.
677
00:32:08,535 --> 00:32:10,885
Everyone's having a drink.
678
00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:13,235
10-4.YUKA: See?
679
00:32:13,279 --> 00:32:15,411
He's lying.Wait a minute.
680
00:32:15,455 --> 00:32:18,588
You did know right where to
go with Matheson and Colchack
681
00:32:18,632 --> 00:32:20,590
to set them off.
682
00:32:20,634 --> 00:32:22,636
How?
683
00:32:22,679 --> 00:32:25,291
Well, they've hated each other
684
00:32:25,334 --> 00:32:27,641
ever since Buzz tried
to feel up Dottie Matheson
685
00:32:27,684 --> 00:32:29,686
ten years ago
at this very party.
686
00:32:29,730 --> 00:32:31,253
That is
an unsubstantiated rumor,
687
00:32:31,297 --> 00:32:33,342
and how did you know that?!
688
00:32:33,386 --> 00:32:35,344
How's he know that?
What, are you...
689
00:32:35,388 --> 00:32:38,304
What are you,
friend? Huh?
690
00:32:39,305 --> 00:32:41,829
You a Russian spy?
Man in Black?
691
00:32:41,872 --> 00:32:43,265
If you're Santa Claus,
692
00:32:43,309 --> 00:32:45,093
you're a little late
delivering your toys.
693
00:32:45,137 --> 00:32:47,008
[sighs]
694
00:32:47,052 --> 00:32:48,879
I'm Special Agent Douglas Heyes
695
00:32:48,923 --> 00:32:51,056
from the Anchorage field office.
696
00:32:51,099 --> 00:32:52,405
Iglaak is a small town,
697
00:32:52,448 --> 00:32:54,146
but there exists
widespread corruption
698
00:32:54,189 --> 00:32:57,018
that could affect the security
of the United States of America.
699
00:32:57,062 --> 00:33:00,239
You have any
Bureau identification?
700
00:33:00,282 --> 00:33:04,156
Undercover special agents
don't have I.D., Sergeant.
701
00:33:04,199 --> 00:33:07,246
Who's under investigation?
702
00:33:12,512 --> 00:33:16,081
I'll tell you
who's under investigation.
703
00:33:18,126 --> 00:33:20,128
You are.
704
00:33:25,133 --> 00:33:27,614
And you're going right
back into that cell
705
00:33:27,657 --> 00:33:31,661
until we can confirm with
the Bureau in Anchorage.
706
00:33:52,639 --> 00:33:54,597
JACK:
Hey. Yo.
707
00:33:54,641 --> 00:33:56,382
What's the story with my pie?
708
00:33:56,425 --> 00:33:58,123
Yo, Captain,
I'm supposed to be getting
709
00:33:58,166 --> 00:34:00,081
some pie.
710
00:34:00,125 --> 00:34:02,823
I know the reasons
you don't trust me.
711
00:34:02,866 --> 00:34:05,478
But we'll work well together
once Captain Pendleton's removed
712
00:34:05,521 --> 00:34:07,480
and you replace him.
713
00:34:07,523 --> 00:34:09,351
When you're the lead sled dog.
714
00:34:09,395 --> 00:34:11,179
Jack, you're pardoned.
715
00:34:11,223 --> 00:34:13,355
Hell no.
716
00:34:13,399 --> 00:34:15,749
It's 30 below,
I-I'm too drunk to drive,
717
00:34:15,792 --> 00:34:18,491
and I'm not leaving till I get
some motherfucking pie.
718
00:34:31,591 --> 00:34:34,507
[line ringing]
719
00:34:34,550 --> 00:34:37,727
OPERATOR: You've reached the
Federal Bureau of Investigation,
720
00:34:37,771 --> 00:34:39,251
Anchorage Field Office.
721
00:34:39,294 --> 00:34:40,556
If this is an emergency,
722
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,863
please use our directory
to contact
723
00:34:42,906 --> 00:34:44,256
a field agent directly.
724
00:34:44,299 --> 00:34:46,127
[cracks neck]
725
00:34:46,171 --> 00:34:49,087
We're sorry,
but there is no agent
726
00:34:49,130 --> 00:34:51,089
that matches
the information provided.
727
00:34:51,132 --> 00:34:54,004
Our hours are Monday
through Friday, 7:00 a.m....
728
00:34:54,048 --> 00:34:56,050
I'll go see.
729
00:34:59,053 --> 00:35:01,055
Yuka.
730
00:35:03,057 --> 00:35:05,755
I'll go with you.
731
00:35:22,424 --> 00:35:24,383
What the actual fuck?
732
00:35:24,426 --> 00:35:27,473
[chuckles]:
What the actual what?
733
00:35:27,516 --> 00:35:28,735
Did you see that?!
734
00:35:30,215 --> 00:35:33,043
Get those guns off me.Yuka?
735
00:35:33,087 --> 00:35:35,785
Yuka, did you not see that?JACK: I saw something.
736
00:35:35,829 --> 00:35:36,873
Right?
737
00:35:36,917 --> 00:35:39,441
Yeah, he looked like
a fucking snail.
738
00:35:39,485 --> 00:35:42,357
He had antennae
coming out his h-head.
739
00:35:42,401 --> 00:35:43,924
[chuckles softly]
740
00:35:43,967 --> 00:35:45,926
Yuka, you're awfully quiet.
741
00:35:45,969 --> 00:35:48,276
What do you believe?PENDLETON:
She saw it.
742
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,060
She saw it. We all saw it.
743
00:35:50,104 --> 00:35:52,106
She may not be saying
anything, but she saw it!
744
00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:54,630
No one saw anything
because that's insane.
745
00:35:54,674 --> 00:35:57,242
It's probably shadows from
your flashlights or something.
746
00:35:57,285 --> 00:35:59,679
Antennae? [chuckles]
747
00:35:59,722 --> 00:36:01,942
You two are tripping
on cheese log.
748
00:36:04,988 --> 00:36:07,556
Take off the hat.
749
00:36:19,394 --> 00:36:23,442
Now, I've been nothing
but nice to you.
750
00:36:23,485 --> 00:36:26,488
Nothing but nice.
751
00:36:26,532 --> 00:36:27,794
So, you need to consider
752
00:36:27,837 --> 00:36:30,405
if it's worth
the irreversible remorse
753
00:36:30,449 --> 00:36:33,060
to further address me...
754
00:36:39,327 --> 00:36:42,461
...with such rude intentions.
755
00:36:47,248 --> 00:36:50,773
Especially when I know things...
756
00:36:50,817 --> 00:36:53,776
about you, Captain Pendleton.
757
00:36:53,820 --> 00:36:56,692
All you need to know is I got
you locked up in my jail.
758
00:36:56,736 --> 00:36:58,303
And to be exact,
759
00:36:58,346 --> 00:37:00,696
this jail
is officially considered
760
00:37:00,740 --> 00:37:02,829
Alaska State Trooper Post 151.
761
00:37:02,872 --> 00:37:06,441
What's the primary purpose
of Post 151?
762
00:37:06,485 --> 00:37:08,182
To serve the public good.
763
00:37:08,226 --> 00:37:09,662
By the support and protection
764
00:37:09,705 --> 00:37:11,794
of an acknowledged
temporary vulnerability
765
00:37:11,838 --> 00:37:15,145
outside of the Cheney Air Force
Listening Installation.
766
00:37:15,189 --> 00:37:17,583
It's the point at which the
Air Force facilities' power grid
767
00:37:17,626 --> 00:37:20,281
connects and is shared
with the town of Iglaak's
768
00:37:20,325 --> 00:37:21,891
older existing grid.PENDLETON: Okay.
769
00:37:21,935 --> 00:37:25,286
That's enough.There's a camouflage shed
somewhere nearby
770
00:37:25,330 --> 00:37:27,636
that houses the connection point
between the Air Force base
771
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,290
and the town's power grid.
772
00:37:29,334 --> 00:37:32,162
He's experiencing a mental
breakdown of some kind.
773
00:37:32,206 --> 00:37:33,381
[chuckles softly]
774
00:37:33,425 --> 00:37:35,905
So, if a hostile force
were to invade,
775
00:37:35,949 --> 00:37:37,907
they'd just have to destroy
776
00:37:37,951 --> 00:37:39,518
that one shed?PENDLETON:
That location
777
00:37:39,561 --> 00:37:41,433
is classified information.
778
00:37:41,476 --> 00:37:45,350
Classified
is actually the most...
779
00:37:45,393 --> 00:37:48,701
lucrative type of information.
780
00:37:48,744 --> 00:37:51,747
Isn't it,
Captain Lane Pendleton?
781
00:37:53,662 --> 00:37:55,316
Oh.
782
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:56,970
That's right, she doesn't know.
783
00:37:57,013 --> 00:37:58,319
[chuckles]
784
00:37:58,363 --> 00:38:00,800
Captain Pendleton
has sold the information
785
00:38:00,843 --> 00:38:03,455
to our neighbors
across the Chukchi Sea.
786
00:38:03,498 --> 00:38:04,586
The Russians.
787
00:38:04,630 --> 00:38:06,022
Nothing you've said
has been the truth.
788
00:38:06,066 --> 00:38:07,197
Oh, you want the truth?
789
00:38:07,241 --> 00:38:09,156
Oh, you can't handle the truth.
790
00:38:09,199 --> 00:38:10,853
[laughs]
791
00:38:10,897 --> 00:38:12,899
I'm sure anyone can understand
the captain's motivation
792
00:38:12,942 --> 00:38:14,727
for such corruption.PENDLETON:
There is no motivation
793
00:38:14,770 --> 00:38:16,337
'cause there has
been no corruption.
794
00:38:16,381 --> 00:38:17,643
20 years
795
00:38:17,686 --> 00:38:19,558
as the big cheese
in Iglaak, Alaska.
796
00:38:19,601 --> 00:38:21,908
It's not
a location, nor is
797
00:38:21,951 --> 00:38:24,345
Alaska State Trooper
an occupation,
798
00:38:24,389 --> 00:38:26,913
where anyone can make
any real money
799
00:38:26,956 --> 00:38:29,089
or actually make any real impact
on the world.
800
00:38:29,132 --> 00:38:30,395
You shut your mouth.
801
00:38:30,438 --> 00:38:33,006
Especially someone like you,
Lane Pendleton,
802
00:38:33,049 --> 00:38:34,007
would have made
a great impact.
803
00:38:34,050 --> 00:38:35,269
You shut your mouth.
804
00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:36,314
The best impact.
805
00:38:39,926 --> 00:38:42,581
I'm gonna put a hole
in this insect.
806
00:38:42,624 --> 00:38:45,975
But you gave up on that idea.
807
00:38:46,019 --> 00:38:47,542
You gave up on yourself,
you just...
808
00:38:47,586 --> 00:38:48,848
gave up.
809
00:38:48,891 --> 00:38:52,155
I never gave up on anything.
810
00:38:53,722 --> 00:38:55,811
I'm Agent Marius Constant
from the National
811
00:38:55,855 --> 00:38:57,378
Reconnaissance
Office.
812
00:38:57,422 --> 00:38:59,902
Captain will save a lot
of money and headache
813
00:38:59,946 --> 00:39:01,643
and maybe lives
if he just confesses
814
00:39:01,687 --> 00:39:04,298
that he told the Russians
about the location of the shed.
815
00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:06,039
He's lying!
816
00:39:06,082 --> 00:39:07,693
At this very minute,
817
00:39:07,736 --> 00:39:09,869
Russian Spetsnaz forces
are on their way to sabotage
818
00:39:09,912 --> 00:39:12,175
what I know is the location
819
00:39:12,219 --> 00:39:13,176
of the shed.
820
00:39:13,220 --> 00:39:15,004
Thing is,
821
00:39:15,048 --> 00:39:17,050
my people are going
to intercept them.
822
00:39:22,925 --> 00:39:24,623
I'm going there
right now,
823
00:39:24,666 --> 00:39:27,277
to warn the Americans
or the Russians.
824
00:39:30,672 --> 00:39:32,718
He stays here.
825
00:39:35,285 --> 00:39:37,113
[door opens]
826
00:39:40,334 --> 00:39:41,727
[door slams]
827
00:39:44,730 --> 00:39:46,775
Mm.
[exhales, chuckles]
828
00:39:46,819 --> 00:39:48,429
I thought he'd never leave.
829
00:39:48,473 --> 00:39:50,692
Now we can talk.
830
00:39:50,736 --> 00:39:53,347
So, I'm just trying to prove
to everybody here
831
00:39:53,391 --> 00:39:55,915
what you've known
for all these years,
832
00:39:55,958 --> 00:39:58,526
that he doesn't care
about this area,
833
00:39:58,570 --> 00:40:00,963
this land,
or your people.
834
00:40:01,007 --> 00:40:02,400
That he's a liar.
835
00:40:02,443 --> 00:40:04,097
[lock clicks]
836
00:40:04,140 --> 00:40:05,838
[creaking]
837
00:40:05,881 --> 00:40:07,927
[panting]
838
00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:12,105
See, I told you I knew
what you wanted for Christmas.
839
00:40:13,149 --> 00:40:16,152
So this is my gift to you.
840
00:40:16,196 --> 00:40:20,374
Soon, you're gonna be the one
giving the orders around here.
841
00:40:31,516 --> 00:40:33,169
♪
842
00:40:54,974 --> 00:40:57,933
Don't be afraid
of me, Yuka.
843
00:40:57,977 --> 00:40:59,195
I mean,
you don't know this--
844
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:01,023
and how would you know--
but...
845
00:41:01,067 --> 00:41:03,243
you and I are a lot alike.
846
00:41:03,286 --> 00:41:04,984
We have a lot
of bosses above us.
847
00:41:05,027 --> 00:41:08,248
There's always a bigger boss
to be in awe of or afraid of.
848
00:41:08,291 --> 00:41:10,337
But you and I,
849
00:41:10,380 --> 00:41:12,426
we're worker ants
850
00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,602
who get
the job done.
851
00:41:14,646 --> 00:41:16,038
Today I will.
852
00:41:16,082 --> 00:41:17,692
You won't.
[chuckles softly]
853
00:41:17,736 --> 00:41:20,303
But you know what?
I'll keep my promise, though.
854
00:41:20,347 --> 00:41:22,001
I'll put in
a good word.
855
00:41:22,044 --> 00:41:23,263
You'll be running this place.
856
00:41:23,306 --> 00:41:24,743
But working for us.
857
00:41:24,786 --> 00:41:26,788
Captain Pendleton, this is Post.
858
00:41:26,832 --> 00:41:28,224
10-19.
Return to base.
859
00:41:28,268 --> 00:41:29,530
10-39. Urgent.
860
00:41:29,574 --> 00:41:30,879
10-39. Urgent.
861
00:41:35,754 --> 00:41:37,407
Pendleton,
can you hear me?
862
00:41:37,451 --> 00:41:38,670
[static]
863
00:41:38,713 --> 00:41:40,106
Our intelligence indicated
864
00:41:40,149 --> 00:41:41,934
that you would be vulnerable
to attack,
865
00:41:41,977 --> 00:41:44,545
somewhere in this vicinity,
866
00:41:44,589 --> 00:41:46,025
on this day.
867
00:41:46,068 --> 00:41:48,941
So, in order to ensure
the success of the invasion,
868
00:41:48,984 --> 00:41:51,552
Pendleton needed to lead us
to the power source
869
00:41:51,596 --> 00:41:53,902
of the Air Force
early discrimination system
870
00:41:53,946 --> 00:41:55,774
in order to remove it.
871
00:41:55,817 --> 00:41:57,384
And you let
Pendleton go.
872
00:41:57,427 --> 00:41:59,691
Is it because maybe you thought
it'd get rid of him
873
00:41:59,734 --> 00:42:01,823
or give you his job or both?
874
00:42:01,867 --> 00:42:03,695
You'll never have
to worry
875
00:42:03,738 --> 00:42:05,305
about Captain Pendleton again.
876
00:42:05,348 --> 00:42:08,787
Or, uh, Christmas,
for that matter.
877
00:42:08,830 --> 00:42:11,877
[chuckles]
What's with the gun, Yuka?
878
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:14,923
I mean, why do you want
to kill me?
879
00:42:14,967 --> 00:42:17,143
You knew what I was.
880
00:42:17,186 --> 00:42:19,145
I did nothing but lie to you.
881
00:42:19,188 --> 00:42:20,799
Only,
882
00:42:20,842 --> 00:42:23,976
once I said something
that might benefit you,
883
00:42:24,019 --> 00:42:26,369
you chose to ignore it.
884
00:42:26,413 --> 00:42:28,763
See, that's
not a lie.
885
00:42:28,807 --> 00:42:32,027
You willingly accepted
the lie.
886
00:42:32,071 --> 00:42:34,464
That's worse.
887
00:42:34,508 --> 00:42:35,422
Now it's too late.
888
00:42:36,554 --> 00:42:39,644
[panting]
889
00:42:47,652 --> 00:42:49,349
No.
890
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:52,004
It's not too late.
891
00:42:54,702 --> 00:42:56,704
Just arrived at the mesosphere.
892
00:43:00,447 --> 00:43:01,796
Captain Pendleton, respond!
893
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:03,755
Do not go to the shed!
894
00:43:07,149 --> 00:43:10,196
All units respond.
895
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:13,895
Does anyone have a 20
on Captain Pendleton?
896
00:43:13,939 --> 00:43:16,550
Captain Pendleton,
this is Post. 10-19.
897
00:43:16,594 --> 00:43:20,249
Repeat, 10-19.
Do not go to the shed.
898
00:43:21,294 --> 00:43:22,861
Ah, fuck!
899
00:43:31,391 --> 00:43:33,393
Hey, bro.
900
00:43:33,436 --> 00:43:35,395
You know, if you could, uh,
901
00:43:35,438 --> 00:43:40,052
you know, like, use your magic
and open my cell, too...
902
00:43:55,502 --> 00:43:57,025
Whoa.
903
00:43:57,069 --> 00:43:59,201
That's a cool trick, man.
904
00:43:59,245 --> 00:44:00,986
Thanks.
905
00:44:04,163 --> 00:44:07,166
[indistinct arguing]
906
00:44:11,866 --> 00:44:14,390
Arch!
907
00:44:14,434 --> 00:44:16,741
[horn honking]Arch!
908
00:44:16,784 --> 00:44:19,265
Any 20
on Captain Pendleton?
909
00:44:19,308 --> 00:44:21,484
Yeah. A while ago,
I saw him going south on Nixon,
910
00:44:21,528 --> 00:44:22,790
but, just now,
911
00:44:22,834 --> 00:44:24,444
he tore off toward
County Highway.
912
00:44:24,487 --> 00:44:27,055
No! Get off me!Break it up, ladies!
913
00:44:27,099 --> 00:44:30,363
Break it up!Get the fuck
off me! Get off!
914
00:44:30,406 --> 00:44:32,931
♪
915
00:45:02,395 --> 00:45:05,485
♪
916
00:45:27,072 --> 00:45:29,509
[howling in distance]
917
00:45:46,221 --> 00:45:48,876
Captain Pendleton!
918
00:45:50,922 --> 00:45:52,662
Captain Pendleton!
919
00:45:55,100 --> 00:45:56,797
Step away from the structure
920
00:45:56,841 --> 00:45:59,626
with your hands
raised above your head.
921
00:46:01,106 --> 00:46:05,153
You brought a Remington shotgun
to a Russian invasion?
922
00:46:05,197 --> 00:46:06,981
[exhales, sniffs]
923
00:46:07,025 --> 00:46:08,417
Put the gun down, Sergeant.
924
00:46:08,461 --> 00:46:11,290
He lied about that, too.
925
00:46:11,333 --> 00:46:13,118
Lane Pendleton,
926
00:46:13,161 --> 00:46:16,121
you're under arrest.
927
00:46:17,122 --> 00:46:20,778
[chuckling]
928
00:46:24,564 --> 00:46:25,608
[sniffs]
929
00:46:25,652 --> 00:46:27,436
Oh, really, Yuka?
930
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,134
Out here?
931
00:46:32,572 --> 00:46:35,183
Now?
932
00:46:36,968 --> 00:46:38,926
You're here.
933
00:46:38,970 --> 00:46:42,234
So the Traveler wasn't lying
about what you did.
934
00:46:42,277 --> 00:46:47,065
You came to meet your Russian
contacts to tip them off.
935
00:46:47,108 --> 00:46:49,023
[shotgun pumps]
936
00:46:59,164 --> 00:47:02,036
Well, maybe, uh...
937
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:04,952
it'll be better
with you guys running things.
938
00:47:12,177 --> 00:47:14,614
[heart beating]
939
00:47:27,801 --> 00:47:29,890
Oh.
940
00:47:29,934 --> 00:47:32,371
Let me guess.
941
00:47:37,376 --> 00:47:39,639
You're getting my job.
942
00:47:42,555 --> 00:47:45,340
Is that what he told you?
943
00:47:47,516 --> 00:47:51,390
Yeah. Yeah, see...
944
00:47:51,433 --> 00:47:53,914
it's only a lie
945
00:47:53,958 --> 00:47:57,222
if we choose
to believe it.
946
00:47:59,485 --> 00:48:02,618
[distant booming]
947
00:48:45,966 --> 00:48:50,231
♪ Ding-dong, ding-dong,
ding-dong, dong-dong ♪
948
00:48:50,275 --> 00:48:54,670
♪ Ding-dong, ding-dong,
ding-dong, ding ♪
949
00:48:54,714 --> 00:48:56,063
♪ Santa
950
00:48:56,107 --> 00:48:57,760
♪ Won't you hurry Mmm.
951
00:48:57,804 --> 00:48:59,327
That's pretty good.
952
00:48:59,371 --> 00:49:03,070
Definitely worth the wait.
953
00:49:03,114 --> 00:49:07,596
♪ We've been waiting
all year long for ♪
954
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:11,426
♪ You and your reindeer
in the sky ♪
955
00:49:11,470 --> 00:49:14,038
NARRATOR:
The most dangerous lies
come in the form
956
00:49:14,081 --> 00:49:16,301
of beautifully wrapped
gifts.
957
00:49:16,344 --> 00:49:18,912
On this evening,
Sergeant Yuka discovered
958
00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:23,003
that there's no difference
between myth and mistruth.
959
00:49:23,047 --> 00:49:27,007
She unwrapped
her fateful present far too late
960
00:49:27,051 --> 00:49:30,315
on this dark and silent night
961
00:49:30,358 --> 00:49:32,752
in The Twilight Zone.
962
00:49:32,795 --> 00:49:34,536
♪ Hurry, Santa!
64400
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