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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,638
Guess the latest.
2
00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:04,472
We've decided
we're going to get married.
3
00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:06,229
Right.
4
00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:08,436
You know my date with Gary?
5
00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:10,238
Wasn't me he was interested in.
6
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,878
He thinks you had a fling
7
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,791
with his mother.And that you're his dad.
8
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,440
I didn't know there'd been a child.
9
00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,192
- You all right?
- Judith's, um...
10
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,192
She's lost the baby. It's been awful.
11
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:22,793
I got your text.
12
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,795
It's true.
13
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,314
They can't expect you
to sell your house in 28 days.
14
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,197
And how else is he going to raise
that kind of money?
15
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,793
- What's up?
- Nothing.
16
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,519
Someone is going to
have to tell my mother at some point
17
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,397
and if none of you do, I will.
18
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:38,349
He'd like to meet you.
19
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:39,429
Gary?
20
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:40,873
Alan, hello.
21
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:59,523
Ripped By mstoll
22
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,749
- It's a bit a shock.
- Yes.
23
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:35,913
For both of us, well, for all of us.
24
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,831
- I mean, Gillian, too.
- Yeah, yes.
25
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,918
I didn't sleep much last night.
26
00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:49,672
Uh, yeah...
27
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:52,873
I didn't want to, um...
28
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,269
I just...
29
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,275
Sorry, I realise
30
00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:01,158
I don't actually have
anything to say as such, it's just...
31
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:05,555
I was intrigued to meet you,
to see you, I suppose. That's all.
32
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,789
She never told me she were...
33
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,111
Your mum, she never...
Did Gillian tell you?
34
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,716
And Gillian's lovely, by the way.
35
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:21,994
Oh!
36
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,310
- Well...
- She's just so funny,
37
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,197
so sweet, so uncomplicated.
38
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,671
Her heart's in right place.
39
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:35,679
So, what was he upset for?
40
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:37,034
I thought he never wanted it.
41
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,040
Well, no. He didn't.
42
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,394
I don't know.
43
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,040
I've had all this second-hand
from Caroline.
44
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,839
Still, I suppose if it was
nearly full-term...
45
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,953
Oh, God knows
what she must have gone through.
46
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:54,114
Are they even together still?
I mean, were they ever?
47
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,714
Really, actually? After a certain point?
48
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,199
God knows.
49
00:02:58,760 --> 00:02:59,829
Well, she's cleared off, anyway,
50
00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:02,832
she's gone to live with
her sister in St Albans.
51
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:06,995
And he's been sleeping
in Caroline's spare room again,
52
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,433
- apparently.
- Really?
53
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:09,635
Hmm.
54
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:13,599
She's very good to him, Caroline,
given what a bugger he's been.
55
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,639
If it was me,
56
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,917
he'd have not darkened the doorstep
ever again.
57
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,878
No, no. No.
58
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:25,989
How...
59
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:27,799
Can I ask how you met?
60
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:29,429
Um...
61
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:34,038
Well, I married Eileen, Gillian's mum,
in, uh, 1957.
62
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,432
But the woman I really wanted to marry,
63
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:41,433
the one that I was in love with,
she'd stood me up.
64
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,074
Except she hadn't.
65
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:47,789
She left me a message, only...
66
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,510
- I never got it.
- Celia?
67
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,678
That's right.
68
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,154
I were very fond of Eileen
69
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:01,431
but truth is
I got engaged to her on rebound.
70
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,795
I don't think we'd have
called it that then.
71
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:08,431
And I certainly weren't aware that
that's what I were doing, but yeah.
72
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,112
Then I met your mum.
73
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,349
At Jessop's Chemicals up Huddersfield.
74
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,113
She were a secretary and...
75
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,873
She reminded me of Celia.
76
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,752
The second I saw her,
everything about her.
77
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:29,276
The way her eyes lit up when she smiled.
78
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,511
Way she walked.
79
00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:34,479
I felt the same feeling I felt
when I were with Celia.
80
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,595
It was...
81
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,513
I don't know.
82
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,958
Like world lit up.
83
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,196
And we were weak.
84
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,670
We were daft.
85
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,513
We were old enough to know better,
it shouldn't have happened.
86
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:53,759
But it did.
87
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,269
Then she left.
88
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:59,032
I never saw her again.
89
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,190
Did you try to see her again?
90
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:05,273
No.
91
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:08,554
I suppose
92
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,273
if I had known,
93
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,072
I'd like to think that
94
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,671
I'd have done right thing.
95
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:19,518
It would have been more...
96
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:21,991
complicated, obviously.
97
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,912
No, she should have told me.
98
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,591
She should have told me at the time.
99
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:31,276
However difficult it might have been
for everybody.
100
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,590
So you're not coming to this
"wedding", then?
101
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:45,719
She did ask me.
102
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,713
Only I said we were busy.
103
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:49,275
And aren't you?
104
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,357
I don't think
she really wanted me there.
105
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,113
I think she only invited me
'cause she thought she should.
106
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,236
I think you're being a bit sensitive.
107
00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:00,392
If she didn't want you, she wouldn't
ask you. You know what she's like.
108
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,073
Who else is going?
109
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,037
William's coming up from Oxford.
110
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,118
A few people from school.
111
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,872
Couple of her pals from Oxford.
112
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,235
I don't know about Kate's family.
113
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,394
Fairly small.
It's all a bit last-minute.
114
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,036
You know, not everyone's available.
115
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,034
Our Muriel's in Corfu, sadly.
116
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,554
So... John's living at the house
117
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,359
and Kate's on leave now
so she's at home all day
118
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,109
with John?
119
00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:33,432
Well, yeah, presumably.
120
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,476
'Cause he's never at work, is he?
121
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,357
I don't know why they pay him.
122
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,073
Contractions are good.
123
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,916
They're painful
but they're on your side.
124
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,670
Your contractions happen
when your uterus contracts
125
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:55,309
and that's what dilates
or opens the cervix.
126
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,309
Now, Dads,
127
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,439
during labour,
128
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:05,798
you may find it distressing
to see your partner in so much pain.
129
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:07,999
Is this your first?
130
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,399
Not your first?
131
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,355
It's not my first.
132
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:14,668
It's Kate's first.
133
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,190
So you'll know what I'm talking about.
134
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,840
It is distressing
135
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,310
but you just being there,
gently encouraging her to keep going,
136
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,868
that is so important.
137
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:31,630
It's... It's not actually mine as such.
I'm just, uh...
138
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,076
Kate's my wife's girlfriend.
139
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,756
Okay, so let's talk about pain relief.
140
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,230
We're back! Dad?
141
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,318
Oh, my feet!
142
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,197
Oh, Calamity,
you are getting heavier by the hour.
143
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:21,679
I'm making you some tea.
144
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:22,749
Well...
145
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,151
I think I spent up, Alan.
146
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:28,388
You better not have.
147
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,234
Not if we are thinking about
this Australasian adventure.
148
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,359
Are we serious?
149
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,352
I am if you are.
150
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,519
Why are we whispering? Is it a secret?
151
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:42,829
No, it isn't.
152
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,071
So, you've been busy?
153
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,837
Eh, no, no, no.
154
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:53,474
Right, I'll pop this lot upstairs
and then I can relax.
155
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,551
- Can you manage?
- Oh, yeah.
156
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,308
Tea, coffee?
157
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,919
- J�ger bomb?
- Uh...
158
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,309
Tea, thanks, love.
159
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,353
Have you had a nice time?
160
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,950
Clothes shopping with my mother-in-law?
161
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,951
No, stepmother.
162
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:11,589
Yeah.
163
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,753
Yeah. It was a bit of a laugh.
164
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,957
- How did you get on?
- Fine.
165
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:25,319
- Yeah?
- Like you said, he seems like a
166
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,235
- very nice fella.
- Yeah, yeah.
167
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,677
- It's odd.
- What?
168
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,799
I felt like I knew him.
169
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:34,995
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
170
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,229
Yeah, and so did I.
171
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,550
From the moment I saw his face.
172
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,838
So, what did he say? What did he want?
173
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:42,269
Nothing.
174
00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:43,549
No, I didn't think he did.
175
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,835
- I think he just wanted to...
- He just wanted to talk, yeah.
176
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,435
Wish I could have stopped
with him longer but, uh...
177
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:53,150
Any road, he asked me
if we'd like to go and have a meal.
178
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,674
- Meet Felicity, his wife.
- Oh.
179
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,035
So, he's, um... He's married, then?
180
00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,838
Yeah, they've two girls.
181
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:02,798
Yeah, and he meant all of us,
you know, you, me, Raff, Ellie.
182
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:04,875
Calamity.
183
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:08,313
Celia, he said he'd like to meet Celia.
184
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,109
I said, uh...
185
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,110
"Well, I haven't told her yet."
186
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:15,869
So?
187
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,112
Oh, I don't know.
188
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:19,674
You have got to tell her.
189
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,318
I had Caroline on the phone
a couple of days ago
190
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,631
and she said if we... Well, if you
don't tell Celia, she will.
191
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:28,315
Oh, what the hell were you doing
telling Caroline for?
192
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,879
I told you.
193
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,076
Look, she wasn't being nasty.
194
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,549
To be fair to her, it's 'cause she knows
195
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,632
how upset Celia was
when she found out about Kenneth.
196
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:39,555
You know, she'd been
197
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,390
cheated on, lied to.
198
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,755
And isn't it best to be honest, really?
199
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,196
Coming from you,
sooner rather than later.
200
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:52,196
I told Caroline that you wanted to meet
him first and then you'd tell her.
201
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:53,269
Celia.
202
00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:54,999
And she was fine with that.
203
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,633
But now you have met him, so...
204
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:00,709
Okay.
205
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,635
- So...
- Yeah, I'll tell her.
206
00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,438
- When?
- Soon.
207
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,275
Soon!
208
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,438
Well, why did you let him go with you?
209
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:15,509
Because...
210
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,238
I don't know, he just tagged along.
211
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,470
Of course I was daft enough
to feel sorry for him.
212
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,468
I should have said,
right in front of everyone,
213
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:25,039
"She's not your wife,
214
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,270
"she's your ex-wife,
John, you're divorced."
215
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:28,395
You... You should have done.
216
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,516
"She's my wife's girlfriend."
She's my wife.
217
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,398
Very nearly. "And you're just,
I don't know, a friend of the family."
218
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,677
Well, no, no. He's more than that,
he's the father of...
219
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:37,749
Still.
220
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,312
No need to split hairs.
221
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,630
"I know you've had an upset
but can I just be blunt?
222
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,551
"You really, really need to move out,
223
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,517
"John, before me and Caroline
get married."
224
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,472
Yes. Well, good.
225
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:50,869
You should have said it.
226
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,713
All that money that we have begged,
borrowed and stolen
227
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,677
to buy his half of the house.
What's the problem?
228
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,920
I don't think we've stolen anything,
have we?
229
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,119
Whatever.
230
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,597
What is the problem?
231
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,318
Just say it.
232
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,554
Can't you?
233
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,389
Sure.
234
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,358
- Yes!
- Damn.
235
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,632
I'll deal with it later.
236
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,991
I will deal with it later.
237
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,871
They're playing a game.
238
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,951
If I go into labour,
he comes nowhere near the hospital.
239
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,712
Course he won't.
240
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,195
What's the matter?
241
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:53,914
I don't know.
242
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,078
I don't know. Maybe I'm just frightened.
243
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:00,913
Don't be frightened.
244
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,914
I'm not that much younger than Judith.
245
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,913
Judith's an alcoholic.
246
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,797
And what if there's something
wrong with it?
247
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,471
There won't be. Why would there be?
248
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:17,030
And if there is, we'll deal with it,
but there won't be. So.
249
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,076
And you will get rid of him?
250
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,599
I will ask him
251
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:27,673
to leave.
252
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,276
Oh, God, I ought to ring my mum.
253
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:51,989
Hello.
254
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:53,833
Mum, hi, it's me. How are you?
255
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,639
- Very well, love.
- Good.
256
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,109
Good.
257
00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:58,955
How's Alan?
258
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:02,112
Um, he's fine. Caroline says how's Alan?
259
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,111
- He's fine, love.
- Good.
260
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,719
So, er...
261
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,360
Good. So I've got nothing fresh
that I can think of.
262
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:11,429
Have you?
263
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,712
Um, no, I don't think so.
Have we got anything fresh, Alan?
264
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,151
Eh, no, no, no, no.
265
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,149
He's not told her.
266
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:22,312
We thought we'd drive over on Friday,
267
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,595
the day before the wedding.
268
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,675
Then if there's anything you want doing,I can help out.
269
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,239
Right, good. Thank you.
270
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:33,469
Is that Ellie?
271
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,753
Did you decide on your outfit?
272
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:37,989
Hello, love.
273
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,594
- Where you been?
- Supermarket. Greenhough's.
274
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,033
Not answering your phone?
275
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:43,314
Oh, has it been ringing?
276
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,118
Harvey said you had an argument
with Mr Streplewhite.
277
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,269
- Yeah, I did.
- Which one's he?
278
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:47,634
- Politics.
- Politics. I told him
279
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,278
he can shove his coursework up his arse
280
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,669
and I've left and I've got a job
at Greenhough's.
281
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,399
You can't do that.
282
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,229
Well, I just did.
283
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,877
You can't not do your A levels.
284
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,598
Hey, what's... What's happened?
285
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,877
Well, no, I can not do them.
And then I can earn some money.
286
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,315
Have you... Have you
talked to your mum about it?
287
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,195
No way. She has enough going
worrying about me granddad.
288
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,429
Well, I think you need to.
289
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,636
- Well, it's none of her business.
- No, Ellie, it is!
290
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:14,996
She's going to be very upset
if you're going to drop out
291
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,308
of doing your A levels.
292
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,231
You can't work at Greenhough's,
293
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,117
that's just a job, it's not a career.
294
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,474
You're a clever lass.
295
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,949
You don't want to just go
chucking it all down the drain.
296
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:25,473
No! Listen!
297
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,189
It's good. It's full-time.
298
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,158
He said I can go on a fast-track.
He said I can be a store manager.
299
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,592
In a couple of years, if I put the hours
in and I play me cards right,
300
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,511
there's all sorts of opportunities.
301
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,909
- Wow.
- It's money, Raff.
302
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,238
It's not being dependent
on every bloody body.
303
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,394
And it isn't like I've got
that many people to be dependent on now,
304
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,311
with me granddad being such a loony.
305
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,430
I still think
you need to ring your mother!
306
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:52,634
Um, hang on, I...
307
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,790
I can't hear what you're saying.
308
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,190
They're all just shouting at each other
this end.
309
00:15:58,280 --> 00:15:59,952
Can I speak to Gillian?
310
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,793
Um, yeah. Hang on.
311
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:03,915
Gillian?
312
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,154
It's Caroline.
313
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,312
What's happened? What's going on?
314
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,753
How are you, Caz?
315
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:13,348
He hasn't told her.
316
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,633
No, no, no. Uh, not yet.
317
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:17,914
He needs to tell her.
318
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:20,389
I know, he will.
319
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,478
He needs to tell her soon.
320
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,391
Yes, I know. I agree with you.
I'm working on it.
321
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,676
Well, that may be the case.
322
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,357
I do like Kate, you know.
323
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,429
I suppose if Caroline had to be that
way, she could have done a lot worse.
324
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,709
It's funny, isn't it?
325
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:46,315
Babies.
326
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,235
They're always welcome when they come.
327
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,632
Even when they're unexpected.
328
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,357
Like our little Calamity.
329
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,833
And now, there's this other one.
330
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,598
I know there's something bothering you.
331
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,318
I'd wish you'd let on what it is.
332
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,875
Is it Harry?
333
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,194
And that damn silly mess
he's got himself into?
334
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,114
Well, what, then?
335
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,158
I've had a bit of news.
336
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,309
What news?
337
00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:33,557
I've been in two minds
about whether to tell you or not.
338
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:35,715
What news?
339
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,552
Oh, no, it's not an ordeal. I...
340
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,109
I suppose there's a lot about each other
341
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:45,872
that we still don't know, isn't there?
342
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,190
Is there?
343
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,597
Well, 60-odd years not seeing someone,
344
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,517
there's bound to be one or two.
345
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,550
What? One or two what?
346
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,591
It turns out I've got a...
347
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,958
skeleton in cupboard.
348
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:09,474
What do you mean?
349
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,953
One I never even knew I had.
350
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,551
Well, not...
351
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,476
What? What is it?
352
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,348
Oh, I don't care what it is, Alan,
353
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,476
you can tell me anything.
354
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:30,156
Nothing's worth making yourself
ill over, just tell me.
355
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,200
Just say it. Just spit it out.
356
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,556
You'll think I'm like Kenneth.
357
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,315
How could you ever be like Kenneth?
358
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:46,878
I've got a lad.
359
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,194
A son.
360
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,639
A boy I never knew I had.
361
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,109
Well, I call him lad, he's a man now.
362
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:57,549
You see...
363
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,311
I had a bit of a fling.
364
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,435
When?
365
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,108
Oh, years ago.
366
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,238
Before you were married?
367
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:12,909
No.
368
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:16,669
No.
369
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,636
Celia, look,
I don't want to make excuses,
370
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,153
it happened, it shouldn't have.
371
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,310
But I didn't know there'd been a child.
372
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:28,989
When?
373
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,156
Year our Gillian were born.
374
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,034
Only, as I said, I've only just...
375
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:38,270
The year Gillian was born?
376
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:40,355
But you'd...
377
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,193
You'd been married nine years
when Gillian
378
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,469
was born.
379
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,553
- Who was she?
- Oh, you wouldn't know her.
380
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,869
They lived up Siddal.
381
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,269
Mary.
382
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:04,476
She were called Mary. Mary Kershaw.
383
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,150
Came to work at Jessop's,
she were a secretary.
384
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,229
She, um...
385
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,598
She had a look of you.
386
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,754
The year Gillian was born, you were...
387
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,317
Well, did Eileen know?
388
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,389
No.
389
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,713
It's like I said to Gillian,
it stopped before it started.
390
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,358
It were never...
391
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,156
What does Gillian know about it?
392
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,194
Her date on Valentine's Day.
393
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,512
It weren't a date as such.
394
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:50,473
It were him.
395
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,633
- Well, how long did it go on?
- We didn't.
396
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:57,873
Long enough to get her pregnant.
397
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,155
Only the once.
398
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,076
Then she left. I...
I never saw her again.
399
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,319
I had no idea she were...
400
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,991
So, what does he want, this Gary?
401
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,115
Nothing. He just wanted to meet me.
402
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,474
And you're going to?
403
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,554
Well, thing is I already have.
404
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,596
I met him this morning
when you and Gillian went shopping.
405
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,477
And he's a grand fella, Celia,
406
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:35,074
he's very keen to meet you, genuinely.
407
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:38,277
He's the sort of person who genuinely
408
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:40,510
seems to be interested in people.
409
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:41,794
So, hang on.
410
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,637
He just rang, out of the blue
this morning,
411
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,276
when Gillian and me just happened
to be out shopping?
412
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:49,759
No, no, no, no.
413
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,113
He... It were, it were arranged.
414
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,193
Gillian arranged it.
415
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,878
Oh, so you were just getting me
out of the way.
416
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,473
No!
417
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:01,754
Yeah... Look...
418
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,396
- It were delicate.
- Where? Where did you meet him?
419
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:08,235
In a caf�.
420
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,035
Right.
421
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:13,556
Look, I understand you probably rather
I'd told you first.
422
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,791
No, I'd rather you didn't lie to me
about what you were doing.
423
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,077
But obviously I were worried
about how you'd react.
424
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,072
You see? This is what adultery does
to people.
425
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:24,832
It turns them into liars.
426
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,070
Well, no wonder
you couldn't have Calamity.
427
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,152
No wonder we had to
trail around with...
428
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,959
It's been difficult,
knowing right thing to do!
429
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,031
And right order to do stuff in.
430
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:39,236
And of course Gillian's been upset.
431
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:44,318
But not above colluding with you
about deceiving me.
432
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,152
Nobody wanted to deceive you.
433
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,516
It was just about knowing
when and how to tell you!
434
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:51,549
Well...
435
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:53,838
you've told me now.
436
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,394
Have you seen Ellie?
437
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:07,959
Yeah, she were up at quarter past six.
438
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,917
She was off to catch
the ten to seven bus.
439
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,192
She's to be at Greenhough's
at half past.
440
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,314
She didn't discuss this with me
at all, nothing.
441
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:18,758
You need to be communicating
with each other more.
442
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,239
Oh, no shit.
443
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,788
No, I'm not being an unpaid nanny
if she's out earning money.
444
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,996
You know, that is, that is not
the way the world works.
445
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,038
This isn't cloud cuckoo land.
Also, plus Yvonne
446
00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:30,634
is slinging me cash every week
for her housekeeping, which...
447
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,079
I can't accept that.
448
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,390
I'm not accepting that
if Ellie's working.
449
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:37,876
Did she even speak
to her mother last night?
450
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,188
No idea!
451
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,238
Do you just not talk to each other
at all, about anything?
452
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:43,469
Hello!
453
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,312
Oh, right. Well, I'll have to
bang on at her about it, then.
454
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:46,549
Oh, feel free!
455
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,437
Well, I'll see you later.
I'm on a shift.
456
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:52,035
After I've done every bloody thing else
for every bugger else.
457
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,511
What's up with Celia and me granddad?
458
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,071
What is up with Celia and your granddad?
459
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,913
They sat at the breakfast table
not speaking to each other.
460
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,589
Has summat happened?
They were up in night, I heard them.
461
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,432
No, I don't think...
462
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,231
Is one of them ill?
463
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,038
No. No, nothing like that, just...
464
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,319
It turns out I've got a brother.
465
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,029
A half-brother
466
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,275
that I didn't know about.
467
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:36,869
How?
468
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,275
You what?
469
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:55,997
I would like you to meet him.
470
00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,712
You see, I think you'd like him.
471
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:03,873
He'd like to meet you.
472
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,073
I can't imagine why.
473
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,558
He's very... I don't know, calm.
474
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,709
He's mannered, kindly,
475
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,198
unusual.
I were nervous about going to meet him.
476
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,989
But no, he just seemed to be wanting
to make sense of it himself
477
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:25,832
and apologising
478
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,756
and saying that he knew
it was a shock for all of us.
479
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,196
He were being very grown-up
about the whole thing, I suppose.
480
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,792
And you want me to be grown-up
about it, too.
481
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:40,549
Well...
482
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,793
either we can
move forward together or...
483
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,993
I don't know what alternative is.
484
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:55,597
Maybe I should go
and stay with Caroline for a few days.
485
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,236
Caroline knows, by the way.
486
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,714
Caroline? What the hell does Caroline
know about it?
487
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,519
Gillian wanted to talk to her
before she told me,
488
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:09,999
after she met him, Gary.
489
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,432
Anyway, she thought
490
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,715
Caroline would know best way forward.
491
00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:20,635
So Kate will know about it as well,
won't she?
492
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,436
I mean, does everybody know except me?
493
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,909
No. No!
494
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,916
Yes, but of course
I discussed it with Kate.
495
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,309
I'm allowed to, she's my partner.
496
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:35,958
We tell each other things.
497
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:41,638
You see, this is what I used to
hate about your dad.
498
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,314
Him mucking about
and then everybody knowing.
499
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:46,990
And then you find out and you realise
500
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,150
they've been laughing at you
behind your back.
501
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,558
Or else feeling sorry for you.
502
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:52,993
All who?
503
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:56,554
Oh... Everybody, anybody.
504
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,358
I don't know, you lot.
505
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:01,789
Not in this instance.
Nobody's like that.
506
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,994
I'm so shocked, Caroline.
507
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,432
I thought he was different.
508
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:12,679
I thought I knew him.
509
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,590
I thought he was better than that.
510
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,797
You know, when you haven't
seen someone for 60 years,
511
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,988
there will be things about them
you don't know.
512
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:25,709
I love you.
513
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,193
I know you do.
514
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,912
And I think he does, I know he does.
And you know,
515
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,479
this isn't about you
516
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,154
and I think you need to
try and step back from it.
517
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,310
He went and met him
518
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:40,639
without telling me.
519
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:42,872
Yeah, yeah.
520
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:44,708
Did you know that?
521
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,551
Yeah, yeah. I... Yeah.
522
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:50,192
Why didn't you tell me?
523
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:51,918
I was going to, I told Gillian,
524
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,070
I said, "If you don't hurry up
and tell her, I will."
525
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,236
Are all men rotten?
526
00:27:58,320 --> 00:27:59,992
No, no.
527
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,754
A lot of them are but I don't think
Alan's one of them.
528
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,438
If I thought he was, I'd have driven
straight over there two days ago
529
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,829
and ripped his pacemaker out
and shoved it...
530
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,479
where the sun doesn't shine.
531
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,068
He hasn't got a pacemaker.
532
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,071
No, I know, I know. I just...
533
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,556
Thought it sounded good. But I would,
534
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,517
if I thought for one second
535
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,875
that he was taking the mickey
out of you, I'd deal with him.
536
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,315
I don't think he is.
I think he's a good man.
537
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:33,029
I think he's made a mistake
and I bet he's doing his damndest now
538
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:35,031
to make things right,
because I would imagine
539
00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:38,590
he is terrified,
terrified of losing you.
540
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,477
- You're very wise.
- Hmm.
541
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,232
Wonder who I get that from?
542
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:48,195
Not me.
543
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,350
You're right to be upset.
544
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,078
He was unfaithful to his wife,
545
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:54,673
that's something
that's going to bring back
546
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,309
a lot of unpleasant memories for you,
but it was a long time ago.
547
00:28:58,400 --> 00:28:59,833
That's not an excuse
548
00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:03,595
but it really isn't a reflection on youpersonally, is it?
549
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:05,869
Can you see that?
550
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:08,869
I know you're shocked.
551
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,997
I know you're upset. And come over here
for a few days on your own
552
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,071
if you want a bit of time to yourself,
553
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:17,436
but you don't really want to lose Alan,
Mum, do you?
554
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,753
Have I buggered everything up?
555
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:54,799
Oh, you've been a while.
556
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,389
I went for a little drive onto the Tups.
557
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,675
We were worried you weren't coming back.
558
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:03,879
I rang Caroline.
559
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,313
Oh, is she all right?
560
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,437
Mmm. Kate's sick of John
being around the house all day
561
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,875
but Lawrence likes him
being there so...
562
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,874
She's finding it difficult to tell him
to sling his hook.
563
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,232
But no, nothing else fresh.
564
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,390
I really don't want to be small-minded
about this.
565
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,233
I'm not Kenneth, Celia.
566
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:28,878
It happened once.
567
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,195
I were ashamed of it, I regretted it.
568
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:34,676
And it never happened again.
569
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:37,109
Okay.
570
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,755
I'd almost forgotten it happened.
571
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:43,395
Happen I...
572
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,755
blacked it out. I don't know.
573
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:49,469
Right.
574
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:53,789
Are we friends?
575
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,715
Course we're friends.
576
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:01,951
Hey, I googled him.
577
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:05,638
- Sorry?
- Gary, I googled him.
578
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,272
You know, I said it looked like
he'd done all right for himself?
579
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:12,318
Well, he has. He owns Caf� Rapido.
580
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,152
Mobile coffee shops.
581
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:17,511
Mobile baristas, vans selling coffee
582
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,514
and pastries and cakes,
like at railway stations
583
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:22,158
and football matches and...
584
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:25,038
Well, you've seen 'em around.
585
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,315
I've never been to a football match.
586
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,594
They're all over!
587
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:33,071
He started off with one van
when he were 18.
588
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,912
Now he has whole fleets of 'em.
589
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,152
Up and down the country.
590
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,912
He's an entrepreneur.
591
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:42,278
- He's a multi-millionaire.
- Is he?
592
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:45,591
He supports all sorts of charities
and good causes.
593
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:50,231
He owns Huddersfield Town Football Club.
594
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:52,553
Here, do you want to have a look?
595
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:56,670
Let me see if I can
find it again for you.
596
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,995
You and me need to be having a proper
conversation at some point, lady.
597
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:20,391
- Gillian.
- Cheryl.
598
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:23,074
- How's yourself?
- Yeah, I'm all right.
599
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:25,355
Oh, bless. I've heard the news.
600
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:27,593
Which news?
601
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:29,432
That you and Robbie's been at it
behind me back.
602
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:31,918
Anything you'd like to say to me?
603
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:33,269
I, um...
604
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:35,319
You don't know what I'm talking about?
605
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:37,315
No.
606
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,278
I'm sorry, that's not going to wash.
It were Robbie that told me hisself.
607
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,151
Yeah, a bit of a domestic
about the kitchen,
608
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:44,719
him not wanting to spend money
609
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,360
and me saying, "Well, it's just
a breeding ground for bacteria."
610
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,398
One thing led to another
and it all came tumbling out, so...
611
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:52,878
What I'd like to suggest is
612
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:54,791
next time you're making whoopee,
613
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,440
if you could just ask him
to wear one of these.
614
00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,269
'Cause obviously,
615
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,591
I personally don't want to be picking up
anything unpleasant.
616
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,393
Oh, and as well,
if you're so desperate for sex
617
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,948
that you need to borrow
other people's fellas,
618
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:09,632
let me give you this.
619
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,517
Yeah. So...
620
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:16,554
There we go.
621
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,390
Have a nice day. Mind how you go.
622
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:25,712
Careful, now, don't get too close
or she'll have your kecks off.
623
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,394
I know. And with a face
like a bust shoe.
624
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:30,914
She must be releasing
the right sort of pheremones, eh?
625
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,038
Oh, like your shoes.
626
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:04,677
So, I said, "Fine."
627
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,152
You can shove your job
628
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:09,913
where monkeys shove their nuts.
I've had enough
629
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,479
of being talked to like...
630
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,358
- Well, what happened?
- Nothing, just...
631
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,749
Him saying how I'm always trouble.
632
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:21,276
Me, I know! Always late. Really?
633
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,390
Twice in the last... month.
634
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,914
Always mouthing off, apparently.
635
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:31,470
Only because I'm sticking up for people,
other people.
636
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:33,915
Against him being a fascist dictator.
637
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:36,352
I said, I told him,
638
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:41,070
"My father was a union man,
so I'm not apologising."
639
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,513
And then him just going on about
how I'm always...
640
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,999
Whatever. So, I just said, "Fine!
641
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:49,798
"Fine, you know what?
642
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,952
"Fine. You know, for me,
this is win-win."
643
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:54,748
So you lost your job.
644
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:59,079
No I... I resigned.
645
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,037
So, how is it win-win?
646
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:06,274
I get time off and I don't have to
listen to that jackass
647
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,271
telling me what to do any more.
648
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:09,918
Oh, you pillock.
649
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:15,629
Where's Celia?
650
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,914
Oh, she were here before I nodded off.
651
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,516
Where... Is the Lexus outside?
652
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:22,589
Yeah.
653
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:25,109
Celia?
654
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:27,871
I'm just upstairs.
655
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,271
- Did you tell her?
- Yeah.
656
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,313
- Yeah, and?
- No, she's fine.
657
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:39,869
Fine how?
658
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:43,396
Obviously it were a shock to start with,
but, uh...
659
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:46,950
Well, I don't know, Caroline seemed
to talk some sense into her.
660
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:50,428
Yeah, and
661
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,359
come and have a look at this.
662
00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:55,835
I googled him.
663
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:57,953
Do you realise who he is?
664
00:35:58,400 --> 00:35:59,674
You'll not believe it.
665
00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:02,390
He's a real mover and shaker.
666
00:36:03,240 --> 00:36:05,390
You'll not credit what he's achieved.
667
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:07,953
- Blimey.
- Yeah.
668
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:10,309
God.
669
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,669
- Huddersfield Town.
- He owns it.
670
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:16,194
Hmm, maybe he'll give me a job
cutting the astroturf.
671
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:17,269
I'll ask him.
672
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,669
I rang him. We're all going to tea
on Friday.
673
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:23,309
- Tea?
- Supper, dinner. A meal,
674
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:24,913
7:00 for 7:30.
675
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:28,592
Oh, I'll have to tell Raff.
676
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,153
Oh, yeah, I... already told him.
677
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:35,480
No, he heard you get up in the night
and he was worried you were ill.
678
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:37,312
- So I...
- How did he...
679
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:42,837
Well, he thought it was "well cool"
I think were the exact words.
680
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:45,434
The fact that you'd been unfaithful
to my mother appeared to go
681
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,511
right over his pretty little head.
682
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:50,310
But then again, he's a bloke, so...
683
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:52,759
What are you doing?
684
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:54,114
I'm going to Harrogate.
685
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,198
- Hello, love.
- Celia.
686
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:57,679
I don't want to make a fuss.
687
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:01,639
I'm happy for you to go
and have dinner with this Gary.
688
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:03,278
I can see you're all excited about it
689
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:06,716
and I understand why, he's obviously
a very successful young man.
690
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,314
But I personally
would find it difficult
691
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,912
so if it's all right with everyone here,
I'd rather be in Harrogate.
692
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:16,037
Celia, it's not because he's successful,
693
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,588
it's because, well,
he's flesh and blood.
694
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:21,435
Yes, well. Whatever it is,
he'll understand.
695
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:23,829
But he was particular
in wanting to meet you.
696
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,912
It's you he's interested in
and that's fine.
697
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,355
Like I say, I don't want to be
small-minded about it
698
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:33,149
but equally, you'll understand
if I don't want to be there.
699
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:37,038
And anyway, it's the wedding
the next day
700
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,954
and she might want me over there
Friday night,
701
00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:41,719
in case there's anything wants doing.
702
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:44,475
Okay. I won't go.
703
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,272
No, you're going. I'm not having that.
You're going.
704
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:07,316
I thought I might cook this evening
for everyone.
705
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:09,072
As a sort of thank you.
706
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:10,388
I bought steak.
707
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:13,908
- You're not a vegetarian, are you?
- No.
708
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,556
No, I can't do nuts
but other than that...
709
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:17,675
I bought this.
710
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:21,439
Sweet, isn't it?
711
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:25,754
I always wanted a girl.
712
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:30,150
I mean, I love the boys, obviously,
I wouldn't swap them, but secretly,
713
00:38:30,720 --> 00:38:32,597
I always wanted a little girl, too.
714
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:36,072
But Caroline didn't want to have
any more after the boys came along.
715
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:42,835
I'm really sorry
about what's happened, John.
716
00:38:43,240 --> 00:38:45,549
Yes, I know you are.
717
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,236
You've both been very kind.
718
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:56,632
Do you want some tea?
719
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,039
Ah, yeah. Mum.
720
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,634
What's this about you and a vibrator
and some condoms?
721
00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:18,039
I said not to say owt!
722
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:20,509
So, actually, you got sacked, in fact.
723
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:21,715
- I resigned.
- She resigned.
724
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:23,518
- What happened?
- Nothing.
725
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,630
Cheryl came in the shop, apparently.
726
00:39:26,720 --> 00:39:29,188
I wouldn't have told you about it if
I thought you were going to be horrible
727
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:30,872
and repeat it in front of your granddad.
728
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:33,234
- Door.
- I'll go.
729
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:34,389
Here, what happened?
730
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:35,833
I wouldn't have, Gillian.
731
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:37,478
Well, what happened?
732
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:43,638
There was an incident at work
involving Cheryl, who clearly has...
733
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:48,631
... some form of
borderline personality disorder
734
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:51,234
and who got the wrong end of the stick
735
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,436
- yet again...
- So, what happened?
736
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:02,718
I, um, can't turn it off.
737
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:05,029
Carry on!
738
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:08,556
Perhaps we should have a chat,
Gillian, in my office?
739
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:11,632
- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
740
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:18,552
So, he said it was a final warning
and I resigned.
741
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:20,710
Hang on, why would Cheryl
do something like that?
742
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,631
- Because she's deranged.
- And she's thick.
743
00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:23,948
Not that she can help it.
744
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,591
I heard about what happened.
Just wanted to say I was sorry.
745
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:29,674
I should have, uh,
746
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:31,951
I should have warned you that she, uh...
747
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:34,355
that she...
748
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:39,789
Anyway, she's moved out, she's gone.
749
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:41,309
Why?
750
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:43,589
Uh...
751
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,912
Oh, you've...
752
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:54,239
Don't you ever, ever pull that face
at me again, young man.
753
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:56,231
Why? What did... Oh.
754
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:57,514
- I did tell you.
- Yeah.
755
00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,795
What, you, you told him? When?
756
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,954
We've been invited out to tea,
to Gary's.
757
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,834
- Gary? Oh.
- So...
758
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:08,358
Okay, blimey.
759
00:41:10,240 --> 00:41:12,595
- So, she's moved out?
- Yeah.
760
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,352
Come on,
we need to be setting off.
761
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:16,989
Hmm.
762
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:20,470
Sorry, okay. Well, look,
I'll catch up with you later.
763
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:21,549
Yeah.
764
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:30,672
So, they're going.
765
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:33,319
He's fair smitten with him.
766
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:36,274
Said he felt like he knew him
when he met him.
767
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:41,119
Soon as he clapped eyes on him he said
he felt like he'd always known him.
768
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,516
Which, I mean, how can you?
769
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:47,550
It's Gillian I feel sorry for,
losing her job,
770
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:52,191
and then Alan all excited about
this fella being a multi-millionaire.
771
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,157
Obviously, it's complicated.
772
00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:57,835
And she's obviously got very
mixed feelings about him herself.
773
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,472
But oh, no. Alan's blind to it.
774
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,152
I mean, on the one hand he's saying
775
00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:06,915
he's ashamed
he ever had this relationship
776
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,479
and on the other he seems to think
777
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:10,994
this fella's the best thing
since sliced bread.
778
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,719
Talk about the pot
calling the kettle black, eh?
779
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,392
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
780
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:29,436
All these years.
781
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:33,035
Listen, and, I wasn't the other woman,
she was.
782
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,429
Me and Robbie, we just,
we just had a bit of a blip, that's all,
783
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:39,513
because of that loudmouth,
alcoholic bitch sticking her nebby...
784
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:41,352
- Which?
- Judith.
785
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:44,193
We're not going to parade all this
in front of Gary, are we?
786
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,271
What? All our dirty linen?
787
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:47,713
Oh, hell no.
788
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:52,316
We don't want him thinking
any of us have sex, do we, eh? Granddad?
789
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:03,189
- Where the hell are we?
- We're lost.
790
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:06,317
- I think it looks dead creepy.
- Hmm, so do I.
791
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,072
God, this is dark.
792
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,674
I'm wondering if that was a wrong turn.
793
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:14,548
Now, for this one, we took way back
when we came off main road.
794
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:15,789
Well, now he says it!
795
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:19,154
Shit!
796
00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:22,630
- What was that?
- No, we are all right. Keep going.
797
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:25,029
The worst that can happen
is we'll end up in Slough.
798
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:27,516
It's like we're in
The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
799
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:28,589
Yeah.
800
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,194
You think
Uncle Gary is a transvestite, Mum?
801
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:33,555
From Transsexual, Transylvania?
802
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:35,631
- Hey, there's a light.
- Eh? Where?
803
00:43:35,720 --> 00:43:37,836
- Over at the Frankenstein place!
- Oh.
804
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:39,717
No. There really is a light.
805
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:41,074
Look.
806
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,551
- Wow.
- Good Lord!
807
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:50,952
- Oh, my God!
- Blimey.
808
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:01,555
So, I was... I was 17,
this was in summer 1983
809
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,393
and I had five part-time jobs.
810
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:07,711
- And one of them was...
- Five? Why? How?
811
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:09,950
Uh, I don't know, I was saving up
to go to university.
812
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,156
- He never went.
- I didn't need to, I hadn't time.
813
00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:14,549
- And one of them...
- You didn't hear that.
814
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:15,959
Do you know Luigi's?
815
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:18,713
It's a caf� on George Square
in the middle of Halifax,
816
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:20,392
I used to wash up there. Anyway,
817
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:24,037
there was this old Gaggia machine
in the stockroom upstairs,
818
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:26,839
been there for years gathering dust.
It was defunct, it was ancient.
819
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:28,273
God knows why they never threw it out.
820
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:32,751
But I reckoned I could fix it up
and I footed �5 for it
821
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,796
and he laughed and said,
822
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:39,032
"Gary, you take it.
I'll give you �5 to take it away."
823
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:42,354
That's an Italian accent,
824
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:43,759
- in case you were wondering.
- Yeah, I was.
825
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:49,198
So, but at the same time
my granddad, me mum's dad, he retired.
826
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:51,271
He was retiring,
he was a painter and decorator,
827
00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:53,476
and he had this old van he'd used
for years and years and years,
828
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:55,118
it was dropping to pieces.
829
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:56,519
And I said, "Can I have it?"
830
00:44:56,600 --> 00:45:00,434
And he said, "Gary, lad, I'll give you
�10 to take it away." So...
831
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,797
I've got a coffee machine and a van.
832
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:09,348
What are you going to do?
833
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:10,998
You're going to put them together,
aren't you?
834
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:13,036
- Inevitably. Yeah, obviously.
- Yeah.
835
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:14,314
That was, in fact, my idea.
836
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,914
- Yeah, well, she says it is.
- Because it's true.
837
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,036
So, where did you two meet?
838
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:22,433
Ah, well, there's another story.
839
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:24,351
Uh, you know Tyson's?
840
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:28,433
The company that makes security alarms
and security equipment?
841
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:30,317
Mmm-hmm.
- Well...
842
00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:40,272
And this is a first edition?
843
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,511
No, not quite, no.
God knows what that'd be worth. No.
844
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:47,559
This is the first edition in America
with, look,
845
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:52,232
the publisher's misattribution
on the title page to Charlotte Bront�.
846
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:56,348
- Isn't that, you know, amazing?
- Amazing.
847
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,879
I am so excited that we've met, Alan.
848
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:07,316
I feel like I need to know everything,
everything about you.
849
00:46:08,240 --> 00:46:09,673
And I want you to know
everything about me.
850
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:13,355
Yeah, well, we will, lad, we will.
851
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:48,874
Good morning.
852
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:51,759
Well, hello.
853
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:53,919
How long have you been up?
854
00:46:54,240 --> 00:46:58,392
I couldn't get comfortable.
Then I got heartburn again.
855
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:01,392
Then I had to get up to pee
about 19 times.
856
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,994
Then I got all excited
thinking about being married to you.
857
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:05,559
Aww.
858
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:10,679
Aren't you simple?
859
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,320
Just think,
in just over three hours' time,
860
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:15,960
we'll be shackled to each other forever.
861
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:17,678
Have you chosen a poem?
862
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:18,749
I might have.
863
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:20,592
Don't want to be the only one
reading out a poem.
864
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:21,954
Might have written one.
865
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:23,439
- Have you?
- Might have.
866
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:24,794
No, have you?
867
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:28,279
"My love is like a hot water bottle."
868
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:29,634
That's so flattering, Caroline.
869
00:47:29,720 --> 00:47:31,517
"My love is like a thermal vest."
870
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:33,670
God, you've really missed
your m�tier, haven't you?
871
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:36,274
"Shall I compare thee
to my Jeep Cherokee?"
872
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:38,389
Go on, then.
873
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,428
"Thou art more..."
874
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:44,158
More...
875
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:48,629
Built like a tank and guzzles diesel
like it's going out of fashion?
876
00:47:48,720 --> 00:47:50,278
Yeah, okay.
I've not thought that one through.
877
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:52,510
Yeah, well, you've got three hours.
878
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:56,759
Caroline?
879
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,031
Caroline?
880
00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:24,993
Here, I'm thinking
I might wear this suit.
881
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:27,036
It's what I wore
when we got wed first time.
882
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:30,758
- In the register office in Halifax.
- Right.
883
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:34,712
- What about you?
- What about me?
884
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:35,949
Well, what are you wearing?
885
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:37,634
I'm not going.
886
00:48:38,720 --> 00:48:39,835
What do you mean?
887
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:43,352
Look, I can't stand there smiling.
And nobody's going to thank me
888
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:45,908
if I stand there
looking like a wet weekend.
889
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:47,831
Well, I think you should make an effort.
890
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:50,354
- It's Caroline's big day and...
- "Big day"?
891
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:54,392
- Getting married to another woman?
- But...
892
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:59,669
You were just saying how nice it were
when Kate popped round.
893
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:01,751
Yeah, well, that was yesterday.
894
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:05,352
Oh, Celia.
895
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:09,512
Don't let this other business spoil...
896
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:13,439
- Where did you do it?
- What?
897
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:16,713
Sex. You and Mary.
898
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:18,119
I'm not going to...
899
00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:20,430
I'm assuming
you couldn't take her back to your house
900
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:23,478
because Gillian and Eileen
would be there.
901
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:26,199
And who did she live with?
Her mum and dad?
902
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:28,874
- So that wouldn't have been an option.
- I don't want...
903
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:31,554
In a stationery cupboard at Jessop's?
904
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:33,198
In the back of your car?
905
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:35,350
Fumbling about with her knickers?
906
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:36,919
In the same car, possibly,
907
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:38,991
that you had brought Gillian
back from hospital in
908
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:40,354
when she was born.
909
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:46,638
And then going back to Eileen,
smelling of her.
910
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:49,757
I'm not Kenneth.
911
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:54,357
The night Caroline was born,
the night I lost all that blood
912
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,351
and had to have that transfusion,
913
00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:58,555
I found out afterwards
914
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:01,029
he'd been having it off
with someone else.
915
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:02,917
Kenneth. That same night.
916
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:07,429
I was in hospital. I nearly died.
917
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:10,512
And he was off
shagging one of his tarts.
918
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:14,189
Do you know what that does to you?
919
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:17,113
To your self-esteem? Have you any idea?
920
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:21,676
And the year Gillian was born,
921
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:26,270
you're mucking about
with somebody's secretary?
922
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:36,996
- Ten minutes, then we'd better...
- Yeah.
923
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:42,276
- You nervous?
- Are you?
924
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:49,034
- Can I tell you something?
- What?
925
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:53,636
Can I tell you how grateful I am to you
926
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:56,791
for giving me the strength
and the courage to...
927
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:00,359
stop hiding?
928
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:03,391
You are magnificent.
929
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:06,235
You're very pretty.
930
00:51:07,720 --> 00:51:08,709
Do you remember that day?
931
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:10,995
That was so mad,
snogging in your office.
932
00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:15,552
It was more than a snog, pal.
I had me hand inside your bra.
933
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:20,515
Oh, Alan, it's open.
934
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,070
- Good morning.
- Yes, hello, love.
935
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:27,674
Very smart.
936
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:30,194
Oh, goodness. Well...
937
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:35,797
Oh, we've... I've...
There's a problem with your mum.
938
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:48,031
Mum, you need to get dressed.
939
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,198
He's no better than your father.
940
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:52,755
Mum, I want you to get dressed.
941
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:54,713
- Did you hear what I said?
- I did.
942
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:56,313
However, today isn't about that.
943
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:57,989
Look.
944
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:00,679
Please don't take this the wrong way,
945
00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:02,796
but you don't mind
if I don't come, do you?
946
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:06,555
Yes. Yes, I do, actually.
I really want you to be there.
947
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:08,551
I'd only make everyone miserable.
948
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:10,392
You'll make me miserable
if you don't come.
949
00:52:10,720 --> 00:52:12,756
But Kate's mother's
not going to be there.
950
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:14,717
That's because she is in America.
951
00:52:15,240 --> 00:52:17,549
She's working. She's going to come
and spend the summer with us.
952
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:19,471
And all the more reason
why you should be there.
953
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:24,195
I was fair
looking forward to it.
954
00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:26,635
I'd bought an outfit and a hat.
955
00:52:26,720 --> 00:52:28,870
Good. Put them on.
956
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:32,309
Oh, Mum.
957
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:36,398
You've got to separate
what's happened between you and Alan
958
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:39,631
from this today
because they're not connected.
959
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:43,628
I really want you to be there, Mum.
960
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:47,670
Mum, get dressed.
961
00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:52,831
You'll have a nice day
with your friends.
962
00:52:55,720 --> 00:52:57,472
Do you remember when I got my doctorate?
963
00:52:57,560 --> 00:52:59,516
The degree ceremony, you didn't come?
964
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:02,038
My dad turned up and I said,
"Oh, where's Mum?"
965
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:05,271
And he looked a bit apologetic
and he said, "Oh, she's not here."
966
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:08,670
You'd obviously had an argument.
And I was really rude to him, I said,
967
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,350
"Well, there's no point
you being here if she's not here."
968
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:15,637
And it really hurt him. I could see.
969
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:18,829
He'd bothered to come all that way
and you hadn't
970
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:20,319
and I was rude to him.
971
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:23,312
The biggest day of my life,
and you weren't there
972
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:25,470
because you'd had an argument with him
about God knows what,
973
00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:27,312
but I certainly
wasn't part of the equation
974
00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:29,834
when you decided not to come.
975
00:53:31,240 --> 00:53:36,553
It was always me that took an interest
in everything that you did, not him.
976
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:40,189
Well, the facts on that occasion
would suggest otherwise.
977
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:43,113
I had looked forward
to that day so much.
978
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:46,954
I had imagined it.
I imagined you, both of you, in Oxford.
979
00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:49,952
Taking you out for lunch,
showing you around the college,
980
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:51,917
introducing you to my friends.
981
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:54,193
I had no idea you weren't coming
982
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:56,271
until I saw my dad on his own
down Cornmarket.
983
00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:59,397
I was devastated. I was gutted.
984
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:04,077
I know you've had an upset
but these things are not connected.
985
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:05,752
And if you do this to me again,
986
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:08,557
then there's absolutely
no point in pretending
987
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:11,473
that we have any kind of a relationship.
988
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:17,355
Please, Mum, get dressed.
989
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:27,792
Right.
990
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:42,353
Right.
991
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:02,190
All right? Oh, what is this? Brilliant.
992
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:03,749
Where's Lawrence?
993
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:06,479
Uh, I don't know.
I expect he'll come with the others.
994
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:21,271
Oh, Granny, nice outfit.
995
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:26,312
She says she's not going.
996
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:27,919
Why?
997
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:32,591
I don't want to go, either.
998
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:34,113
Oh, now, come on.
999
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:37,112
You can stay here with me
if you like, chicken.
1000
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:39,077
Well, I thought you said
you'd invited Angus.
1001
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:41,515
You can't have Angus
turning up on his own.
1002
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:44,637
He'll have no one to sit with.
Eh, eh, and what about your mother?
1003
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:46,952
Are you all right, Gran?
1004
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:50,479
I'm staying here.
1005
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:54,835
You'll regret this.
1006
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:56,911
Both of you, you'll regret it.
1007
00:55:59,240 --> 00:56:00,434
What's happened?
1008
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:04,399
Please, please, both of you,
think about Caroline.
1009
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:06,797
She doesn't deserve this.
1010
00:56:18,720 --> 00:56:19,948
Yay!
1011
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:22,829
Sweetheart.
1012
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:25,480
- I'm so glad you could make it.
- Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you.
1013
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:28,558
- You look great.
- Oh, thank you.
1014
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:30,879
I'm glad you could make it.
1015
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:33,474
- Where's Lawrence?
- Oh, he's coming with, uh...
1016
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:35,710
Oh, uh, Gran and Alan are here.
1017
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:55,592
Shouldn't we all be heading inside?
1018
00:56:57,920 --> 00:57:00,388
I'm sorry, love.
I tried to persuade her.
1019
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:06,399
Then, uh, Lawrence came round
and then he wouldn't come, either.
1020
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:14,074
Well, there's no point
in you being here, then, is there?
1021
00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:16,039
If she's not here.
1022
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:32,675
What's going on?
1023
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:34,432
- Are you not at the wedding?
- Nope.
1024
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:39,116
I, Caroline Elizabeth Dawson,
do take you, Katherine Ibeke McKenzie,
1025
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:40,758
to be my lawfully wedded wife.
1026
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:41,875
You know, I've got all this money.
1027
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:42,949
Why don't we get married?
1028
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:44,553
I think we could be comfortably off.
1029
00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:46,278
Have I got anything to say to you?
1030
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:47,839
I don't want to fall out with you.
1031
00:57:47,920 --> 00:57:49,990
You're your own worst enemy.
1032
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:51,229
Where are you going?
1033
00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:52,912
Home. To Halifax.
1034
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:54,752
If that's what you really want.
1035
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:09,205
Ripped By mstoll
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