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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,087 --> 00:00:05,477 'Now nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate is the garden of Eden 2 00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:09,315 'but it's been a good home to us - me, Frank Gallagher, 3 00:00:09,367 --> 00:00:12,404 'and me kids who l'm proud of, 4 00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:16,360 'cos every single one of them reminds me a little of me. 5 00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:19,717 'They can all think for themselves, which they've me to thank for.' 6 00:00:19,767 --> 00:00:22,076 - Run! Run for it! - Leg it! 7 00:00:22,127 --> 00:00:24,925 'Fiona, who's a massive help, 8 00:00:24,967 --> 00:00:29,961 'Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him Philip now, 9 00:00:30,007 --> 00:00:31,679 'lan, a lot like his mam, 10 00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:34,685 'which is handy for the others cos she's disappeared into thin air, 11 00:00:34,727 --> 00:00:37,161 'and Carl - we daren't let him grow his hair 12 00:00:37,207 --> 00:00:40,756 'cos it stands on end and makes him look like Toyah and nits love it. 13 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:44,436 'Debbie - sent by God. Total angel. 14 00:00:44,487 --> 00:00:48,605 'You've to check your change but she'll go miles out of her way to do you a favour. 15 00:00:48,647 --> 00:00:54,802 'Plus Liam - gonna be a star once we've got the fits under control. 16 00:00:54,847 --> 00:01:00,604 'Sheila, me bird. Couldn't be happier... One plate short of a full set, like. 17 00:01:00,647 --> 00:01:05,482 'Fantastic neighbours Kev and Veronica. Lend you anything. Well, not anything. 18 00:01:05,527 --> 00:01:09,361 'But all of them to a man know, first and foremost, 19 00:01:09,407 --> 00:01:12,365 'one of the most vital necessities in this life 20 00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:16,320 'is they know how to throw a party! 21 00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:17,846 'Scatter!' 22 00:01:17,887 --> 00:01:22,039 (Commentator) 'Joining Cheryl and Bernadette on the science scholarship to America 23 00:01:22,087 --> 00:01:24,396 'is a lucky man from Manchester. 24 00:01:24,447 --> 00:01:27,245 'The first ever to achieve unanimous acclaim from the judging panel. 25 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:30,563 'Ladies and gentlemen, Philip Gallagher.' 26 00:01:32,247 --> 00:01:34,920 Are you bothered about this, or what? 27 00:01:34,967 --> 00:01:36,366 Sorry, l was miles away. 28 00:01:36,407 --> 00:01:41,356 (Lip) 'Do you ever get that sinking feeling when something good happens? 29 00:01:41,407 --> 00:01:43,967 'One bit wants to believe your luck's really changed. 30 00:01:44,007 --> 00:01:49,877 'Another bit keeps saying it's all going to go to tits up any minute.' 31 00:01:51,967 --> 00:01:57,246 (Woman) You don't need window locks round here, you need a shotgun. 32 00:01:57,287 --> 00:01:59,596 Prevention is much more effective than cure. 33 00:01:59,647 --> 00:02:03,196 Stick your name down. l'll send round the crime prevention officer, 34 00:02:03,247 --> 00:02:05,158 and you can get them fitted for free. 35 00:02:05,207 --> 00:02:06,003 For free? 36 00:02:06,047 --> 00:02:08,880 Yep. Oi, you can't just take 'em. 37 00:02:08,927 --> 00:02:10,804 He's just told me they were free. 38 00:02:10,847 --> 00:02:13,998 You need a home visit first... These are just for display. 39 00:02:14,047 --> 00:02:15,002 Hold the fort. 40 00:02:15,047 --> 00:02:18,005 Fiona? Fiona? 41 00:02:18,047 --> 00:02:23,519 Look, l'm sorry about, you know, Steve. 42 00:02:23,567 --> 00:02:26,684 Do you fancy driving out somewhere for a drink? The Black Swan maybe? 43 00:02:26,727 --> 00:02:28,206 lt might cheer you up. 44 00:02:29,967 --> 00:02:31,480 l'll call you later, yeah? 45 00:02:32,487 --> 00:02:35,206 - Going to let 'em get away with that? - Oi! 46 00:02:38,647 --> 00:02:40,558 Oi! 47 00:02:41,847 --> 00:02:42,836 Come back here now. 48 00:02:46,047 --> 00:02:48,322 Come on! Quick! 49 00:02:53,287 --> 00:02:56,279 (Lip) 'Winning a science scholarship in a school 50 00:02:56,327 --> 00:02:58,238 'blacklisted from the league tables wasn't easy. 51 00:02:58,287 --> 00:03:00,642 'But l did. So fuck 'em. 52 00:03:00,687 --> 00:03:03,360 'Snag is, l had to cover my own expenses. 53 00:03:03,407 --> 00:03:06,922 'l'm working round the clock doing other people's homework for cash, 54 00:03:06,967 --> 00:03:09,242 'which isn't hard, except for...' 55 00:03:09,287 --> 00:03:12,199 Fuck's sake, l'm trying to do some work. 56 00:03:12,247 --> 00:03:16,126 So, it's not our problem. You should stick to doing your own homework. 57 00:03:16,167 --> 00:03:18,522 l'm only doing everybody else's cos l need the money. 58 00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:20,444 Get a proper job like me, if you need the money. 59 00:03:20,487 --> 00:03:22,205 Not if l have to shag the boss up the arse. 60 00:03:22,247 --> 00:03:25,205 That's enough, everybody stop. 61 00:03:26,887 --> 00:03:28,923 Ohhh! l'm off to Sheila's. 62 00:03:30,687 --> 00:03:33,121 Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. 63 00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:35,158 lt's ready in a minute, babies. 64 00:03:35,207 --> 00:03:38,404 He's done it! He's done it! 65 00:03:38,447 --> 00:03:41,359 Daddy's a winner. Hey-hey! 66 00:03:42,967 --> 00:03:44,764 - What! - My pink slip. 67 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:47,321 Accumulator. lt's cost a few bob. 68 00:03:47,367 --> 00:03:49,597 l thought you lot were meant to be going out. 69 00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:50,636 Sorry, love. 70 00:03:50,687 --> 00:03:53,201 Frank, if you've got time, will you pop into Lena's? 71 00:03:53,247 --> 00:03:56,239 l promised to mind her house while she's on holiday. 72 00:03:56,287 --> 00:04:00,644 Sorry, love, l have to go and see Gerry at the Jockey about a job. 73 00:04:00,687 --> 00:04:03,326 - lt's all right, Lip will do it. - Good luck! 74 00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:07,155 Lip, do us a favour, nip round to my friend's and watch her fish 75 00:04:07,207 --> 00:04:11,120 while she's away? Key's on the dresser. 76 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:19,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 77 00:05:27,807 --> 00:05:28,956 Forget something? 78 00:05:31,447 --> 00:05:33,358 Shampoo. l left my purse at home. 79 00:05:33,407 --> 00:05:35,602 Shampoo? 80 00:05:35,647 --> 00:05:37,717 Come on, Debs! 81 00:05:39,767 --> 00:05:43,760 You're nicking from Kash? Thought the daft Paki wouldn't notice? 82 00:05:43,807 --> 00:05:46,958 l wasn't nicking, just borrowing. l bring them back the next day. 83 00:05:47,007 --> 00:05:48,520 lt's not a public library! 84 00:05:48,567 --> 00:05:51,161 You shouldn't be watching this stuff anyway. 85 00:05:51,207 --> 00:05:53,721 l don't watch them, l only copy them. 86 00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:04,922 lf you get caught, it's nothing to do with me! 87 00:06:09,367 --> 00:06:13,326 Got anything with vampires in it? Or zombies, or kung-fu? 88 00:06:13,367 --> 00:06:14,846 Debbie's in her room, go on up. 89 00:06:18,567 --> 00:06:20,364 My mum was fuming. 90 00:06:20,407 --> 00:06:23,638 She was watching Blade, and Wesley had his shirt off. 91 00:06:23,687 --> 00:06:28,363 Next minute it went all fuzzy, and Basil fuckin' Brush came on. 92 00:06:29,527 --> 00:06:31,245 What does she want instead? 93 00:06:31,287 --> 00:06:34,438 Horror, kung-fu, or she wants her money back. 94 00:06:37,127 --> 00:06:42,076 Take your pick. Have an extra one for three nights for half price. 95 00:06:43,687 --> 00:06:46,121 Check it out properly. 96 00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:48,203 lt's coming out of your money. 97 00:06:50,687 --> 00:06:53,645 (Debbie) Carl, where's that new one? We've got tons of new releases. 98 00:06:53,687 --> 00:06:55,166 Have a good rummage. 99 00:07:00,527 --> 00:07:03,963 (Lip) Fiona. Can l come in? 100 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:06,919 Are you OK? 101 00:07:06,967 --> 00:07:08,446 Anything l can get you? 102 00:07:10,567 --> 00:07:13,400 Cigs? 103 00:07:13,447 --> 00:07:14,926 Booze? 104 00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:17,640 Red Cross parcel? 105 00:07:23,607 --> 00:07:26,167 (Debbie) Carl, have you checked Lucy's mum's tape yet? 106 00:07:33,647 --> 00:07:36,480 'l'm getting wet just thinking about it. 107 00:07:38,127 --> 00:07:40,322 'l hope you're ready to perform for me.' 108 00:07:40,367 --> 00:07:43,723 (Man as Elvis) 'Uh-huh, baby. Are you ready for the King?' 109 00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:46,884 'Come and enter my Heartbreak Hotel, baby.' 110 00:07:46,927 --> 00:07:50,602 (Man) 'l want to introduce you to a friend of mine, darling, from Mississippi. 111 00:07:50,647 --> 00:07:53,115 'Be tender, don't be cruel, that's my job.' 112 00:07:53,167 --> 00:07:54,282 What? 113 00:07:54,327 --> 00:07:58,878 'Fuck me every which way, you old hound dog. 114 00:08:01,767 --> 00:08:06,761 (Man) 'That feels good. Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Ow, ow, ow.' 115 00:08:11,727 --> 00:08:13,285 What film's this? 116 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,397 lt's meant to be Lucy's. 117 00:08:16,967 --> 00:08:18,605 That's Lucy's mum. 118 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,316 The lollipop lady? 119 00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:38,885 Watching your own mum and dad? Sick. 120 00:08:38,927 --> 00:08:40,963 (Debbie) That's not her dad. 121 00:08:41,007 --> 00:08:43,441 He's in prison. 122 00:08:43,487 --> 00:08:46,047 Do us ten copies, see if you can shift a few. 123 00:08:46,087 --> 00:08:47,884 (Woman) 'l'm caught in a trap, baby.' 124 00:08:50,087 --> 00:08:51,964 Make it a dozen. 125 00:08:58,607 --> 00:09:01,360 Sorry, love. Forgot you were here. 126 00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:03,045 l left one of me books. 127 00:09:03,087 --> 00:09:05,681 Try under your dad. He didn't get that job. 128 00:09:05,727 --> 00:09:07,922 lt's really knocked his confidence. 129 00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:14,076 Coming, coming. 130 00:09:14,127 --> 00:09:16,118 Just remembered where l left it. 131 00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:18,840 - See ya! - Bye! 132 00:09:55,847 --> 00:09:59,635 DRlPPlNG WATER 133 00:10:30,447 --> 00:10:34,235 Hi. l've got some new films. You two will love it. Hot stuff. 134 00:10:34,287 --> 00:10:35,515 See you later. 135 00:10:39,567 --> 00:10:42,604 Billy, come on, l've got some new videos for you. 136 00:10:42,647 --> 00:10:45,684 Yeah, what do you want? 137 00:10:45,727 --> 00:10:48,400 lt contains material of an adult nature. 138 00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:56,515 Hiya, are you all right? 139 00:11:01,447 --> 00:11:02,675 All right. 140 00:11:03,727 --> 00:11:06,287 Hiya, Debbie. All right? 141 00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:08,645 lt's a cracker. 142 00:11:08,687 --> 00:11:10,200 See you later, enjoy. 143 00:11:10,247 --> 00:11:11,760 See ya! 144 00:11:17,367 --> 00:11:19,244 Debbie, what are you doing? 145 00:11:22,047 --> 00:11:25,119 Debbie, does Fiona know where you are? 146 00:11:26,927 --> 00:11:29,395 Are your minds open to the truth? 147 00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:33,637 Good. l've been trying all week to tell people 148 00:11:33,687 --> 00:11:37,123 that the Lord is the only truth we need. 149 00:11:37,167 --> 00:11:38,600 Have you got a few minutes? 150 00:11:38,647 --> 00:11:41,878 Sorry, Debbie, crime doesn't stand still for anyone, you know? 151 00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:03,485 (l locked it...) 152 00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:30,079 Hello, hello. 153 00:12:37,447 --> 00:12:38,516 What are you doing in my house? 154 00:12:38,567 --> 00:12:41,206 Out, or you're getting this. 155 00:12:41,247 --> 00:12:42,521 No, no, no... 156 00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:45,365 l've called the police, they're on their way. 157 00:12:45,407 --> 00:12:47,238 Two minutes, they'll be here in two minutes. 158 00:12:47,287 --> 00:12:48,925 Just wanted somewhere quiet to work. 159 00:12:49,087 --> 00:12:51,203 - Just fuck off! - This wasn't me. 160 00:12:51,247 --> 00:12:53,761 Nowhere to hide, scuzz. Put it down. 161 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,445 Look, it's nothing to do with... 162 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,444 Bottle, down. 163 00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:02,321 This wasn't me. Look, you've got it wrong. 164 00:13:02,367 --> 00:13:04,961 Arghh! Oh! 165 00:13:05,447 --> 00:13:06,436 Fat bastard! 166 00:13:06,487 --> 00:13:07,442 Oh! 167 00:13:12,967 --> 00:13:14,320 That is assault. 168 00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:15,436 Piss off. 169 00:13:15,487 --> 00:13:18,718 This is resisting arrest. 170 00:13:18,767 --> 00:13:20,086 Arghhh! 171 00:13:25,247 --> 00:13:27,124 Unit two to control, we've made an arrest. > 172 00:13:30,767 --> 00:13:32,485 Oi, keep it down! 173 00:13:32,527 --> 00:13:36,076 Shut it, you bastards! 174 00:13:36,127 --> 00:13:41,201 lf nobody answers after 50 knocks, it tells me they're not fuckin' in! 175 00:13:50,447 --> 00:13:53,245 - For fuck's sake, Tony! - Do you know where Fiona is? 176 00:13:53,287 --> 00:13:57,803 Gone out, probably to avoid stalkers like you. Give her a break. 177 00:14:01,887 --> 00:14:04,606 Home-grown? Who's in it? 178 00:14:04,647 --> 00:14:08,435 Molly Connor with some guy with a taste for dressing up. 179 00:14:08,487 --> 00:14:10,443 Molly Connor? Remind me. 180 00:14:10,487 --> 00:14:16,801 You know, ''Mind your backs, children passing?'' The lollipop lady. 181 00:14:16,847 --> 00:14:18,963 Oh. But isn't her old man... 182 00:14:19,007 --> 00:14:21,396 Yeah, five years for GBH. 183 00:14:21,447 --> 00:14:23,563 Shaz reckons it's not him. 184 00:14:23,607 --> 00:14:25,404 She's running a sweepstake. 185 00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:29,076 First to name the boyfriend gets a hamper and a trip to the brewery. 186 00:14:29,127 --> 00:14:34,485 l'd hate to be the fella when the hubby finds out. Funny as fuck though! 187 00:14:34,527 --> 00:14:37,644 - Treat yourself, Frank, come on. - Sorted! 188 00:14:37,687 --> 00:14:39,086 Have you seen Fiona? 189 00:14:39,127 --> 00:14:41,357 - No. - Shit! 190 00:14:43,287 --> 00:14:45,847 You, you're coming to the nick with me. 191 00:14:45,887 --> 00:14:47,400 lf it's about them tax discs... 192 00:14:47,447 --> 00:14:50,245 Lip's been arrested. He needs a guardian. 193 00:14:50,287 --> 00:14:52,164 He won't want me, he'll want Fiona. 194 00:14:52,207 --> 00:14:53,640 Nicked for what? 195 00:14:53,687 --> 00:14:56,076 l can't, l've got a job interview... 196 00:14:56,127 --> 00:14:59,119 Course you have, Frank! You're either coming willingly or... 197 00:15:00,687 --> 00:15:02,678 All right. Hang on. 198 00:15:06,887 --> 00:15:09,447 Your son is charged with aggravated burglary... 199 00:15:09,487 --> 00:15:11,443 Take the fifth. No comment. 200 00:15:11,487 --> 00:15:13,796 ..and with resisting arrest. 201 00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:17,522 He's saying nothing till he sees a lawyer. 202 00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:20,764 Mr Puffin is your son's lawyer. 203 00:15:20,807 --> 00:15:23,640 Him?! Fuck me! 204 00:15:23,687 --> 00:15:25,166 All right. 205 00:15:25,207 --> 00:15:30,156 The most serious charge facing your son is that of assaulting a police officer. 206 00:15:30,207 --> 00:15:32,038 Say nothing. Schtum. 207 00:15:35,407 --> 00:15:37,637 Jesus wept! 208 00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:40,485 You said you only whacked him once. What with, a mallet? 209 00:15:40,527 --> 00:15:43,724 l didn't do that. l can't have. 210 00:15:45,447 --> 00:15:46,960 (Police officer) You sure about this, Neary? 211 00:15:47,007 --> 00:15:49,237 Go on, it make it count. 212 00:15:49,287 --> 00:15:51,642 Ow! 213 00:15:52,687 --> 00:15:57,522 So, you told your father that you struck this officer. 214 00:15:57,567 --> 00:16:02,004 Yeah, but in self-defence. Look at the size of the cunt. 215 00:16:02,047 --> 00:16:03,924 - Shut up! - Eh? 216 00:16:07,527 --> 00:16:11,236 Charge him - theft, assault and resisting arrest. 217 00:16:19,447 --> 00:16:25,443 Whatever little bleeding problem it is l'm not dealing with it, right? 218 00:16:25,487 --> 00:16:27,921 l went out for a drink, l'm knackered and l'm going to bed. 219 00:16:40,487 --> 00:16:41,966 What you lookin' at? 220 00:16:46,087 --> 00:16:47,918 Call this justice? 221 00:16:47,967 --> 00:16:51,562 You wouldn't know justice, if it bit your tits! l'll see you in court. 222 00:16:51,607 --> 00:16:55,839 Hey, Fiona. l've done my best, but they've stitched us. 223 00:16:55,887 --> 00:16:58,447 They're keeping him in. What's that about? 224 00:16:58,487 --> 00:17:01,001 You didn't let him say anything, did you? 225 00:17:01,047 --> 00:17:02,241 Just a little bit. 226 00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:04,278 Couldn't you wait, you useless git? 227 00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,283 Even you should know that. 228 00:17:06,327 --> 00:17:11,526 Oh, great. l rushed down here to help out, for the good of my eldest son, 229 00:17:11,567 --> 00:17:16,687 my first-born, and where the fuck were you? 230 00:17:16,727 --> 00:17:19,719 l couldn't find you. l had to settle for this joker. 231 00:17:19,767 --> 00:17:21,280 Oh, fucking charming! 232 00:17:21,327 --> 00:17:23,887 Where do l sign for expenses, loss of income and all that? 233 00:17:23,927 --> 00:17:24,962 What l see as a priority... 234 00:17:25,007 --> 00:17:26,076 You're fired! Fuck off! 235 00:17:26,127 --> 00:17:27,799 Have a bath! 236 00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:32,521 Who's good, any ideas? 237 00:17:32,567 --> 00:17:35,877 Billy Thomson got us off that hit and run during a driving lesson. 238 00:17:35,927 --> 00:17:40,443 That's because the instructor had a breakdown before he got to court. 239 00:17:40,487 --> 00:17:41,840 lronic or what? 240 00:17:41,887 --> 00:17:44,003 Our family use Old Man Jacks. 241 00:17:44,047 --> 00:17:46,561 Yeah, and how many of them are behind bars? 242 00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:50,122 Who's the Yorkshire one who's never lost a case? 243 00:17:51,327 --> 00:17:55,115 Um, you know, did the triple murder in the barn. 244 00:17:55,167 --> 00:17:57,476 Proved it was the priest and not the husband. 245 00:17:57,527 --> 00:18:00,883 Erm... Oh... Erm... 246 00:18:00,927 --> 00:18:06,365 lt's Kavanagh, Kavanagh QC! l've forgotten the mini rolls. 247 00:18:06,407 --> 00:18:08,921 What kind of legal secretary would l make? 248 00:18:10,447 --> 00:18:12,085 Lip didn't burgle that house. 249 00:18:12,127 --> 00:18:15,278 He twatted a cop and said so on tape, or rather you did. 250 00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:18,399 - lf anybody else blames me, l'm off. - Dick! 251 00:18:18,447 --> 00:18:21,200 (lan) Somebody must know something. 252 00:18:21,247 --> 00:18:24,000 (Marty) Let's start asking round. (Kev) Starting with who? 253 00:18:24,047 --> 00:18:26,038 l don't know, but if we kick enough of them, 254 00:18:26,087 --> 00:18:27,998 someone's going to say something. KlLL! 255 00:18:28,047 --> 00:18:30,561 What's it like in prison? 256 00:18:30,607 --> 00:18:34,361 Third time's not so bad. The first scared me shitless. 257 00:18:34,407 --> 00:18:36,602 Everyone's after your arse. 258 00:18:36,647 --> 00:18:39,798 Food, fags, stamps, mainly your arse. 259 00:18:43,767 --> 00:18:48,602 Petrocelli, l used to fancy him rotten. Lived in a trailer. 260 00:18:51,807 --> 00:18:54,844 (Prisoner) Oi! Get me out of here! 261 00:19:00,047 --> 00:19:03,005 Oi! ls there anybody there? 262 00:19:03,047 --> 00:19:04,639 Hey, you! 263 00:19:06,887 --> 00:19:08,878 SOBBlNG 264 00:19:11,407 --> 00:19:13,796 - Talk. - What about? 265 00:19:13,847 --> 00:19:16,600 Don't fuck about, Carl! l want to know what you know. 266 00:19:16,647 --> 00:19:17,966 Nothing. 267 00:19:18,007 --> 00:19:20,123 Help yourself here, Carl. 268 00:19:20,167 --> 00:19:23,557 You knew the keys to that house were at Sheila's, didn't you? 269 00:19:23,607 --> 00:19:28,635 No. Well, yeah. l took them, but l didn't mean to...l swear. 270 00:19:28,687 --> 00:19:31,918 Don't tell Lip, please... 271 00:19:31,967 --> 00:19:34,242 Go on, talk. 272 00:19:34,287 --> 00:19:38,565 Me and Trogs went round to watch a video for a laugh. 273 00:19:38,607 --> 00:19:40,040 Vince turned up with his mates. 274 00:19:40,087 --> 00:19:42,760 All right? 275 00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:46,163 l told him to leave stuff alone and they just took everything. 276 00:19:46,207 --> 00:19:49,756 (Vince) Get the microwave. Smash it! 277 00:19:49,807 --> 00:19:53,083 Get the video! Grab it, go on! 278 00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:56,244 Look for some money! 279 00:19:56,287 --> 00:19:59,518 Me and Trogs legged it to take the keys back. 280 00:19:59,567 --> 00:20:01,239 We didn't know Lip went back to get them. 281 00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:02,879 You won't tell the others, will you? 282 00:20:02,927 --> 00:20:04,883 Go and get it all back. 283 00:20:04,927 --> 00:20:05,882 They'll kill me. 284 00:20:05,927 --> 00:20:08,282 This is all your fault. What you gonna do about it? 285 00:20:08,327 --> 00:20:10,522 l don't know. What do we do? 286 00:20:10,567 --> 00:20:13,081 We?! There's no fucking we! 287 00:20:13,127 --> 00:20:15,436 l'm not going round there. 288 00:20:15,487 --> 00:20:17,478 l am. 289 00:20:17,527 --> 00:20:21,122 He needs sorting. We need to talk. 290 00:20:21,167 --> 00:20:22,566 lt wasn't me. 291 00:20:22,607 --> 00:20:23,756 Yeah(!) Get in. 292 00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:25,923 (Man) l've been waiting for hours. 293 00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:31,041 l've got to get home to see me wife and take the dog out for a piss. 294 00:20:31,087 --> 00:20:35,603 Do you hear me? Come on. Never mind ignoring me. 295 00:20:35,647 --> 00:20:42,200 Mr Gallagher, you'll receive a letter advising you of the court dates. 296 00:20:42,247 --> 00:20:44,556 Check your possessions, sign there. 297 00:20:46,847 --> 00:20:50,886 Fiona, these are all lawyers that the custody officers think are twats, 298 00:20:50,927 --> 00:20:52,360 meaning they're fine. 299 00:20:52,407 --> 00:20:54,921 Did you speak to Neary? 300 00:20:54,967 --> 00:20:57,356 Well? 301 00:20:57,407 --> 00:21:02,083 Kiss my big hairy swingers, you fucking loser! 302 00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:04,960 Thanks for trying, Tony. 303 00:21:05,007 --> 00:21:06,599 Thanks for bringing him home. 304 00:21:13,167 --> 00:21:14,759 Oi. 305 00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:16,684 Pull your finger out. 306 00:21:16,727 --> 00:21:18,365 What's it to you? You're not even family. 307 00:21:18,407 --> 00:21:20,682 Fiona deserves better than this. 308 00:21:20,727 --> 00:21:22,365 lf it's down to me to sort it, l'll sort it. 309 00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:26,844 You think she'd look twice at you, you fucking psycho. 310 00:21:29,727 --> 00:21:31,365 Psycho. 311 00:21:31,527 --> 00:21:33,245 ls Debbie in? 312 00:21:33,287 --> 00:21:36,518 Sorry, Lucy, she's gone already. Can l give her a message? 313 00:21:36,567 --> 00:21:38,444 Can you tell her l gave her the wrong tape? 314 00:21:38,487 --> 00:21:42,639 - My mum went spare - it's her wedding video. - l'll pass it on, don't you worry. 315 00:21:46,607 --> 00:21:49,724 Well, can't l leave you alone for one minute? 316 00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:53,476 lt's a few tapes for some friends. They can't afford brand-new. 317 00:21:53,527 --> 00:21:58,237 l do some for old people, too. They can't get out much and a cripple. 318 00:22:04,927 --> 00:22:07,441 lt's as close as he can remember to what they took. 319 00:22:07,487 --> 00:22:09,762 Memorise it. This is what you're looking for, OK? 320 00:22:09,807 --> 00:22:12,685 The place will be full of knock-off. FUCK OFF! 321 00:22:12,727 --> 00:22:14,718 We only want what's on the list. 322 00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:18,157 lf she gets her stuff back, she might change her mind and drop the charges. 323 00:22:18,207 --> 00:22:19,959 Marty, are you sure you've done this before? 324 00:22:20,007 --> 00:22:21,725 Of course. 325 00:22:23,127 --> 00:22:24,560 Right. Who lives here? 326 00:22:25,607 --> 00:22:26,722 Chugs. 327 00:22:26,767 --> 00:22:29,042 - But who'll be sleeping there? - His brother Vince. 328 00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:32,796 Vince's mate, Tel. 329 00:22:34,527 --> 00:22:37,724 And maybe Vince's bird, Shaz. 330 00:22:38,047 --> 00:22:39,275 God! 331 00:22:39,327 --> 00:22:42,046 She's fucking evil. lf she wakes up, leg it. 332 00:22:42,087 --> 00:22:43,759 (Carl) What if someone does come? 333 00:22:43,807 --> 00:22:45,525 You keep a lookout, l'll do the rest. 334 00:22:45,567 --> 00:22:47,956 Any trouble, we'll torch the place. 335 00:22:48,007 --> 00:22:50,441 No-one's going to torch anything. You promised. 336 00:22:50,487 --> 00:22:51,966 Give me your matches, Marty. 337 00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:57,437 l don't want to go. Please! 338 00:22:57,487 --> 00:23:00,047 He's gonna be no use to anybody. 339 00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:01,759 He comes or who learns lessons from this? 340 00:23:01,807 --> 00:23:04,446 How's he going to live with himself, if he just bottles out? 341 00:23:04,487 --> 00:23:05,966 You've got eyes, haven't you? 342 00:23:07,527 --> 00:23:09,916 lt's his fault anyway. 343 00:23:16,727 --> 00:23:19,082 (Marty) (Wake up, Carl, time to go.) 344 00:23:20,487 --> 00:23:23,559 Carl! Hang on to him! 345 00:23:23,607 --> 00:23:26,644 l know what'll wake him. 346 00:23:26,687 --> 00:23:27,802 Wide awake club! 347 00:23:27,847 --> 00:23:29,644 - What are you giving him? - Speed. 348 00:23:29,687 --> 00:23:32,360 - Marty! - Wakey, wakey! 349 00:23:32,407 --> 00:23:34,875 Well, he's slow at the best of times. 350 00:23:34,927 --> 00:23:36,963 They're safe enough. Come on. 351 00:23:40,007 --> 00:23:42,237 THUNDER CRASHES 352 00:23:42,287 --> 00:23:44,482 Wake up! 353 00:23:51,727 --> 00:23:53,638 Where the fuck is he? 354 00:23:53,687 --> 00:23:57,123 Getaway car's sorted. 355 00:23:58,007 --> 00:24:00,646 Now we're talking. Good thinking, Marty. 356 00:24:02,447 --> 00:24:03,402 Right. 357 00:24:03,447 --> 00:24:06,200 One elephant, two elephant, three elephant. 358 00:24:14,887 --> 00:24:17,560 (Marty) Fucker spunk! Ninja assassin! 359 00:24:20,927 --> 00:24:22,724 (Hurry up.) 360 00:24:23,727 --> 00:24:24,716 Quiet! 361 00:24:25,687 --> 00:24:28,042 (Here! Take it.) 362 00:24:28,087 --> 00:24:29,566 Get us some more stuff. 363 00:24:32,927 --> 00:24:35,521 (Marty) Arsehole! 364 00:24:35,567 --> 00:24:37,922 l've got some fishing rods, put them in. 365 00:24:37,967 --> 00:24:40,925 None of this stuff's on the list. 366 00:24:40,967 --> 00:24:42,719 Where's the woman's stuff? 367 00:24:46,127 --> 00:24:47,924 (Marty) Ski boots. On the piste! 368 00:24:47,967 --> 00:24:49,559 Argh! 369 00:24:49,607 --> 00:24:51,802 (Woman) Who's there? 370 00:24:51,847 --> 00:24:52,836 Go, go! 371 00:24:52,887 --> 00:24:54,957 (Woman) ls there anybody there? 372 00:24:55,007 --> 00:24:56,998 Faster! 373 00:25:04,007 --> 00:25:05,759 Whoo-hoo! 374 00:25:07,607 --> 00:25:09,802 Marty, watch the bastard cars! 375 00:25:13,087 --> 00:25:16,523 You've got all the wrong stuff. You're absolutely fucking useless! 376 00:25:16,567 --> 00:25:19,286 You didn't get a thing on the list. You just panicked. 377 00:25:19,327 --> 00:25:22,956 What was that great big robbery you said you'd been on? 378 00:25:23,007 --> 00:25:25,919 Fucking Oxfam shop? 379 00:25:25,967 --> 00:25:29,243 Fiona's gonna go spare. 380 00:25:29,287 --> 00:25:30,766 Fiona! 381 00:25:36,847 --> 00:25:38,883 Hiya, Carl, you're up early. 382 00:25:38,927 --> 00:25:40,599 Didn't go to bed. Got to level seven. 383 00:25:40,647 --> 00:25:44,003 Zombies. Killed loads. AK-47. Ran out of health in the graveyard. 384 00:25:44,047 --> 00:25:47,164 Still got second highest score, though. See you. 385 00:25:47,207 --> 00:25:50,040 Hey, you don't have to go to school, you know. 386 00:25:50,087 --> 00:25:52,123 Stay home if you need some time to yourself. 387 00:25:52,167 --> 00:25:54,158 l'll have plenty of time to myself soon. 388 00:25:54,207 --> 00:25:56,960 lf you talk like that, you're going to wreck what time you have. 389 00:25:57,007 --> 00:26:00,158 Yeah, sure. Five days. 390 00:26:00,207 --> 00:26:03,643 This just came. The first hearing's next Monday. 391 00:26:05,527 --> 00:26:08,280 They'll keep me in, Fiona. You know they will. 392 00:26:08,327 --> 00:26:10,204 lt's not been our month, has it? 393 00:26:12,127 --> 00:26:14,402 We're gonna get you out of this mess. 394 00:26:14,447 --> 00:26:16,642 Hey, when have l ever let you down? 395 00:26:21,527 --> 00:26:25,520 Liam, what are you doing with that fishing rod? 396 00:26:27,287 --> 00:26:29,039 Mum, l've got fish. 397 00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:30,202 Fish! 398 00:26:34,447 --> 00:26:37,803 Have you got a fishing licence for this bedroom? 399 00:26:40,087 --> 00:26:41,998 What's up? 400 00:26:42,047 --> 00:26:47,485 You'd all be better off, if l was back in prison instead of Lip. 401 00:26:47,527 --> 00:26:49,722 Don't say that, Marty. 402 00:26:49,767 --> 00:26:52,998 We're all doing our best to keep him out. 403 00:26:53,047 --> 00:26:56,278 What's with all the junk? 404 00:26:56,327 --> 00:26:58,397 l did it for you... 405 00:26:58,447 --> 00:27:00,244 and Lip. 406 00:27:00,287 --> 00:27:01,515 For me? Did what? 407 00:27:01,567 --> 00:27:05,799 This. l tried to nick the nurse's stuff back, but it all went a bit tits up. 408 00:27:05,847 --> 00:27:06,836 We? Who's we? 409 00:27:06,887 --> 00:27:08,843 Me, lan and Carl. We did our best... 410 00:27:08,887 --> 00:27:12,084 You did what? You took lan and Carl on a burglary? 411 00:27:12,127 --> 00:27:15,563 And then you've got the nerve to say you did it for me. Are you mad? 412 00:27:15,607 --> 00:27:16,676 Just listen, will ya? 413 00:27:16,727 --> 00:27:19,719 You're right, you'd be better off in prison. Where you belong! 414 00:27:19,767 --> 00:27:22,406 - Just give us a chance! - This better be good. 415 00:27:22,447 --> 00:27:24,165 We thought if we could get the stuff back, 416 00:27:24,207 --> 00:27:25,765 - she might drop the charges. - And? 417 00:27:25,807 --> 00:27:28,719 lt wasn't there. They must have stashed it somewhere else. 418 00:27:28,767 --> 00:27:30,280 So we just took what we could find. 419 00:27:30,327 --> 00:27:32,283 Anyway, it was lan's idea. 420 00:27:32,327 --> 00:27:35,478 Don't look at me. He took the key from Sheila's. 421 00:27:35,527 --> 00:27:37,040 The whole thing's his fault. 422 00:27:37,087 --> 00:27:39,521 You did this, Carl. You bastard. 423 00:27:39,567 --> 00:27:42,001 No, Lip! l never meant for that. l didn't! 424 00:27:42,047 --> 00:27:42,957 Leave it! 425 00:27:43,007 --> 00:27:46,443 Shut the fuck up, all of you! 426 00:27:46,487 --> 00:27:50,162 How can you all do this? l turn my back for ten minutes, 427 00:27:50,207 --> 00:27:53,438 the whole house goes fucking ape. 428 00:27:53,487 --> 00:27:55,603 Don't you think we're in enough trouble? 429 00:27:55,647 --> 00:27:58,320 We can't afford to mess up like this. 430 00:27:58,367 --> 00:28:00,562 Do you understand? 431 00:28:00,607 --> 00:28:02,199 Do you fuck! 432 00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:06,799 Who do you think you're kidding? 433 00:28:06,847 --> 00:28:09,236 This isn't about us. 434 00:28:09,287 --> 00:28:10,959 lt's about you and Steve. 435 00:28:11,007 --> 00:28:14,283 lt's about you feeling sorry for yourself. 436 00:28:14,327 --> 00:28:16,557 You feel guilty because you weren't around. 437 00:28:16,607 --> 00:28:18,598 At least Marty was doing something to help. 438 00:28:43,047 --> 00:28:44,082 Shift it, Trogs. 439 00:28:46,167 --> 00:28:48,681 You'll never guess what's happened round at our house. 440 00:28:48,727 --> 00:28:51,560 We've been burgled. Someone's nicked my grandma. 441 00:28:56,527 --> 00:28:59,246 Who in their right minds steals an urn? 442 00:28:59,287 --> 00:29:01,118 How was l supposed to know what it was? 443 00:29:01,167 --> 00:29:03,840 lt had ribbons on it. lt looked like a football trophy to me. 444 00:29:03,887 --> 00:29:05,525 Big Stockport County fan. 445 00:29:05,567 --> 00:29:08,127 Trogs said she wanted her ashes scattered on the pitch, 446 00:29:08,167 --> 00:29:11,239 but health and safety wouldn't let her. 447 00:29:11,287 --> 00:29:12,766 So they keep her on the telly instead? 448 00:29:12,807 --> 00:29:15,037 Marty! 449 00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:19,319 How are we meant to trade her in if half of her is lying on your bed 450 00:29:19,367 --> 00:29:21,927 with your porn? 451 00:29:24,247 --> 00:29:25,282 Hold it. 452 00:29:25,327 --> 00:29:26,806 Oh, for God's sake. 453 00:29:26,847 --> 00:29:28,838 Lick my... Oh. 454 00:29:49,287 --> 00:29:51,721 PHONE RlNGS 455 00:29:53,687 --> 00:29:58,397 What kind? l'm not very good at accents. 456 00:29:58,447 --> 00:30:00,642 Anything. Just so they don't recognise you. 457 00:30:00,687 --> 00:30:03,121 l used to do a passable Shirley Bassey. 458 00:30:03,167 --> 00:30:06,239 lt's blackmail, Carol, not Stars ln Their eyes. 459 00:30:06,287 --> 00:30:07,322 Do an accent. 460 00:30:15,767 --> 00:30:16,961 Mm? 461 00:30:17,007 --> 00:30:18,725 Zese are zey. 462 00:30:19,887 --> 00:30:21,559 No, you listen. 463 00:30:21,607 --> 00:30:26,522 lf you want to see Grandma alive again, you know what l mean? 464 00:30:26,567 --> 00:30:30,401 Be at ze Jockey at six, and bring all ze things on ze list. 465 00:30:30,447 --> 00:30:31,846 Ask for... 466 00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:37,156 ..Sven. 467 00:30:40,167 --> 00:30:42,362 Sven's a bloke name. 468 00:30:52,607 --> 00:30:55,280 Oi. Anyone here called Sven? 469 00:30:58,727 --> 00:31:01,241 That'll be me. 470 00:31:01,287 --> 00:31:03,801 DVD player, 471 00:31:03,847 --> 00:31:08,125 yeah, yeah, and a cuddly toy. 472 00:31:08,167 --> 00:31:10,123 All accounted for. 473 00:31:10,167 --> 00:31:14,001 - Now, where's me grandma? - ln the ladies, second cubicle. 474 00:31:30,127 --> 00:31:32,595 Gran? 475 00:31:37,927 --> 00:31:39,326 Look, please... 476 00:31:39,367 --> 00:31:41,358 Here's your stuff. 477 00:31:41,407 --> 00:31:43,716 Now, do you believe me? 478 00:31:47,647 --> 00:31:49,683 lf you've got my gear, why should l not? 479 00:31:49,727 --> 00:31:51,445 (Fiona) Lena, just hear us out. 480 00:31:51,487 --> 00:31:54,206 Lip got the keys to your house from Sheila Jackson. 481 00:31:54,247 --> 00:31:57,603 Fucking mad bitch. l should have known better than to trust her. 482 00:31:57,647 --> 00:32:00,798 Yes. We are related. Lip only came round to feed the fish. 483 00:32:00,847 --> 00:32:04,203 Who fixed the tap in the kitchen, if it wasn't me? 484 00:32:04,247 --> 00:32:07,364 Who put money in the telephone box every time l made a call? 485 00:32:11,687 --> 00:32:13,325 Not all this stuff is mine. 486 00:32:13,367 --> 00:32:17,963 No, there's some extra bits and pieces to compensate for your inconvenience. 487 00:32:22,327 --> 00:32:25,285 OK. Bring them in. 488 00:32:25,327 --> 00:32:26,476 Cheers. 489 00:32:29,687 --> 00:32:32,360 - l'm really sorry if l scared you. - lf? 490 00:32:32,407 --> 00:32:35,046 What about you? l crapped myself when you pulled that knife. 491 00:32:35,087 --> 00:32:37,157 l only came round to do some homework, next thing, 492 00:32:37,207 --> 00:32:38,879 some copper's beating the shit out of me. 493 00:32:38,927 --> 00:32:41,521 You broke into somebody's house to do your homework. 494 00:32:41,567 --> 00:32:43,398 Other people's homework. 495 00:32:43,447 --> 00:32:46,041 lt's what l do to earn a bit of extra money. 496 00:32:46,087 --> 00:32:48,317 l'm saving up to go abroad. 497 00:32:48,367 --> 00:32:50,881 No wonder the police didn't believe you. 498 00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:53,725 lf l arranged all this lot for you, 499 00:32:53,767 --> 00:32:55,519 will you drop the charges? 500 00:33:01,487 --> 00:33:03,523 OK. 501 00:33:07,727 --> 00:33:11,766 What are you gonna do about Neary, and the assault charge? 502 00:33:11,807 --> 00:33:13,763 Want to know what l'd do now? 503 00:33:19,087 --> 00:33:23,603 Fucking great. ''Thanks, Frank, tell us your brilliant idea.'' Well, stuff you! 504 00:33:23,647 --> 00:33:25,285 Go on then, what would you do? 505 00:33:27,287 --> 00:33:30,836 Well, if he's that bent, l'd just bribe the bastard. 506 00:33:30,887 --> 00:33:33,560 Brown envelope, full of cash, pay him off, simple. 507 00:33:33,607 --> 00:33:36,041 Brilliant(!) Why didn't we think of that? Oh yeah, we did. 508 00:33:36,087 --> 00:33:38,885 Then we realised we hadn't got enough to buy a packet of fags. 509 00:33:38,927 --> 00:33:40,918 (Debbie) l've got 450 quid. 510 00:33:41,807 --> 00:33:43,320 (Lip) What? 511 00:33:44,287 --> 00:33:45,686 How much? 512 00:33:45,727 --> 00:33:51,006 450. From the videos. You can use that, if you promise to pay me back. 513 00:33:51,047 --> 00:33:53,481 You had nothing to lend me yesterday. 514 00:33:53,527 --> 00:33:58,885 Brilliant, Debs. 450. ls that enough to buy him off, Tony? 515 00:33:58,927 --> 00:34:00,963 Maybe, yeah, but it's risky, isn't it? 516 00:34:01,007 --> 00:34:03,726 Shut up about risky. What help have you been? 517 00:34:03,767 --> 00:34:04,961 Do you think he'll go for it? 518 00:34:06,887 --> 00:34:08,081 Stan? 519 00:34:08,127 --> 00:34:09,196 Yeah. 520 00:34:09,247 --> 00:34:11,397 - Pigs, dirty pigs. - (Stan) He might. 521 00:34:14,207 --> 00:34:15,845 Oh, thank you, me. 522 00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:19,277 Once again, Frank Gallagher, crisis intervention specialist. 523 00:34:32,167 --> 00:34:35,239 Have you got something for me? 524 00:34:35,287 --> 00:34:37,243 What the fuck are you doing? 525 00:34:37,287 --> 00:34:39,323 You've got the wrong end of the stick here. 526 00:34:39,367 --> 00:34:42,404 - Shut up. Keep still. - Ooh! 527 00:34:42,447 --> 00:34:44,085 You're clean. 528 00:34:44,127 --> 00:34:46,243 lt's not mission fucking impossible. 529 00:34:46,287 --> 00:34:49,518 ''This pint will self-destruct in five seconds.'' 530 00:34:54,487 --> 00:34:56,603 THEY MOUTH 531 00:34:58,327 --> 00:35:01,956 l'm here to give you a bung. How much to get him off? 532 00:35:02,007 --> 00:35:04,441 l don't know what you're talking about. 533 00:35:04,487 --> 00:35:07,524 l understood you were interested in renting my caravan 534 00:35:07,567 --> 00:35:09,683 in Southport for a couple of weeks. 535 00:35:09,727 --> 00:35:12,287 You what? Caravan? l fucking hate caravans. 536 00:35:12,327 --> 00:35:14,557 This is a right cock-up. 537 00:35:14,607 --> 00:35:16,086 Who are you meant to be meeting? 538 00:35:16,127 --> 00:35:17,958 You. 539 00:35:18,007 --> 00:35:20,999 You should have got some holiday money for me. 540 00:35:24,367 --> 00:35:26,835 Oh... Right. 541 00:35:26,887 --> 00:35:29,560 The caravan. 542 00:35:31,167 --> 00:35:32,520 All right... So how... 543 00:35:32,567 --> 00:35:35,718 How much for a fortnight in the caravan? 544 00:35:35,767 --> 00:35:37,962 A grand. 545 00:35:38,287 --> 00:35:39,606 Fuck me. 546 00:35:39,647 --> 00:35:42,241 l fucking need a pint. 547 00:35:42,287 --> 00:35:43,925 He wants a grand. 548 00:35:43,967 --> 00:35:47,846 Tell him no way. Start at 250, and then go up in 20s if you have to. 549 00:35:47,887 --> 00:35:50,117 450 is the absolute limit. 550 00:35:50,167 --> 00:35:52,158 Leave it to me. l can read him like a book. 551 00:35:57,207 --> 00:35:59,198 21 0, our final offer. 552 00:36:04,167 --> 00:36:05,839 Up yours, sunshine. 553 00:36:13,327 --> 00:36:14,521 Wait. 554 00:36:18,807 --> 00:36:20,877 l've heard your final offer. 555 00:36:20,927 --> 00:36:24,124 Caravans are more sophisticated these days 556 00:36:24,167 --> 00:36:28,126 than Clampetts like you lot could appreciate. 557 00:36:31,847 --> 00:36:34,077 This is all we've got. Take it. 558 00:36:34,127 --> 00:36:37,199 Just don't let him go to prison. 559 00:36:37,247 --> 00:36:38,885 lt's way short. 560 00:36:40,647 --> 00:36:43,719 But there is a way that you can make up the difference. 561 00:36:43,767 --> 00:36:44,756 Oh, yeah? 562 00:36:44,807 --> 00:36:48,038 We could come to some arrangement. 563 00:36:48,087 --> 00:36:49,918 Back of the van now for a quickie, 564 00:36:49,967 --> 00:36:52,401 and you can save me a couple on account. 565 00:36:52,447 --> 00:36:55,644 A birdie tells me that you like fucking coppers and car thieves. 566 00:36:55,687 --> 00:36:56,563 Piss off! 567 00:36:58,847 --> 00:37:00,280 No deal. 568 00:37:01,327 --> 00:37:05,957 And this just about covers you wasting my time. 569 00:37:12,207 --> 00:37:14,596 Are you OK? 570 00:37:14,647 --> 00:37:16,239 l did warn you, didn't l? 571 00:37:16,287 --> 00:37:18,437 He's a twat. 572 00:37:18,487 --> 00:37:22,366 Listen, how far are you prepared to go to sort him out, eh? 573 00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:26,036 All the way. Anything. 574 00:37:26,087 --> 00:37:30,365 lf you really mean that, l reckon we could nail him. 575 00:37:30,407 --> 00:37:31,362 Here. 576 00:37:31,407 --> 00:37:33,398 You don't have to do this now, you know. 577 00:37:33,447 --> 00:37:35,642 lt saves all the scrapping later. 578 00:37:35,687 --> 00:37:37,279 Just don't go. 579 00:37:37,327 --> 00:37:40,205 We'll hide you in the roof. lt worked for Anne Frank. 580 00:37:40,247 --> 00:37:42,158 They caught Anne Frank. 581 00:37:42,207 --> 00:37:43,799 Yeah, but not for ages. 582 00:37:43,847 --> 00:37:48,637 Big prize for the first one to guess what l'm going to do with this? 583 00:37:48,687 --> 00:37:50,166 Lip? 584 00:37:55,047 --> 00:37:58,403 Philip Gallagher, sarge. Decided to make a full statement. 585 00:37:58,447 --> 00:38:00,836 A confession? 586 00:38:00,887 --> 00:38:02,115 Let's get you in the interview room. 587 00:38:02,167 --> 00:38:07,082 Sergeant Neary, PC Howe - interview room two immediately. 588 00:38:10,687 --> 00:38:13,326 Whoa! What the fuck do you think you're doing? 589 00:38:13,367 --> 00:38:14,641 He wanted to talk to us. 590 00:38:14,687 --> 00:38:17,042 lt's amazing what a bit of community liaison can do. 591 00:38:17,087 --> 00:38:19,920 He's mine! Come on. 592 00:38:21,327 --> 00:38:22,726 (Woman) Get your hands off my tits! 593 00:38:41,527 --> 00:38:43,040 You gonna tell me something new or not? 594 00:38:43,087 --> 00:38:44,236 (We'll see.) 595 00:38:44,287 --> 00:38:49,042 Sorry to bother you, but l think we might have a problem. 596 00:38:52,887 --> 00:38:57,324 Why don't you kiss my big hairy swingers. Here. 597 00:38:58,927 --> 00:39:00,997 Argh! 598 00:39:01,327 --> 00:39:03,716 Jesus! Stop him! 599 00:39:03,767 --> 00:39:05,803 Argh! 600 00:39:05,847 --> 00:39:07,246 Argh! Argh! 601 00:39:11,407 --> 00:39:14,001 Come on, this wasn't me. 602 00:39:14,047 --> 00:39:16,322 lt's all a fucking stitch-up, sarge! 603 00:39:16,367 --> 00:39:21,600 Shut up, Neary. Mr Gallagher, do you wish to file a formal complaint? 604 00:39:21,647 --> 00:39:23,319 That depends. 605 00:39:23,367 --> 00:39:25,119 On? 606 00:39:25,167 --> 00:39:26,919 Whether he's saying l twatted him or not. 607 00:39:26,967 --> 00:39:29,845 You're being blackmailed here, sarge. 608 00:39:29,887 --> 00:39:34,881 No, you are, and pretty successfully l'd say. 609 00:39:34,927 --> 00:39:39,079 lt's make your mind up time. Are you pressing charges or not? 610 00:39:40,767 --> 00:39:42,325 Fine. 611 00:39:43,327 --> 00:39:44,396 Fine. 612 00:39:49,967 --> 00:39:52,959 And you two better watch your fucking backs as well. 613 00:39:55,567 --> 00:39:58,718 Come on, you tight baskets. Get your hands in your pockets. 614 00:39:58,767 --> 00:40:01,486 1 5 quid, going for the last time now, 615 00:40:01,527 --> 00:40:04,564 for a beautiful pair of ladies' ski boots. 616 00:40:04,607 --> 00:40:06,086 Top of the range. 617 00:40:06,127 --> 00:40:08,402 Going to the lovely lady in the corner. 618 00:40:08,447 --> 00:40:12,645 Going once, going twice, they've gone. She's a winner. 619 00:40:18,007 --> 00:40:21,682 By the way, let's not forget why you're here, what it's all in aid of. 620 00:40:21,727 --> 00:40:26,164 Chatsworth Estate's answer to Ronald Biggs. 621 00:40:26,207 --> 00:40:30,086 The one, the only, at the bar over there, Mr Lip Gallagher! 622 00:40:32,207 --> 00:40:34,243 This auction's being held 623 00:40:34,287 --> 00:40:37,404 to raise money to send Lip to America, 624 00:40:37,447 --> 00:40:38,926 so dig deep. 625 00:40:38,967 --> 00:40:40,286 Argh! 626 00:40:40,327 --> 00:40:41,885 ls this for me? 627 00:40:41,927 --> 00:40:45,044 No. l'm off out, l'll catch you later. 628 00:40:45,087 --> 00:40:49,126 There's one more item to auction then we're gonna kick off the karaoke. 629 00:40:49,167 --> 00:40:52,204 Can we have a couple of volunteers to get us started? 630 00:40:52,247 --> 00:40:54,203 Gonna have a crack, give us your George Formby? 631 00:40:54,247 --> 00:40:56,203 l can only do Gene Pitney. 632 00:40:56,247 --> 00:40:58,158 No-one knows who he is any more. 633 00:40:58,207 --> 00:41:00,163 You go. 634 00:41:00,207 --> 00:41:03,517 Now my glamorous assistant, isn't she gorgeous? 635 00:41:03,567 --> 00:41:05,125 WOLF WHlSTLES 636 00:41:05,167 --> 00:41:11,766 She's got hold of Lot 41 - another brand-new fishing rod and reel. 637 00:41:11,807 --> 00:41:14,844 Who's gonna start the bidding at 20 quid? 638 00:41:14,887 --> 00:41:17,003 20 over here, 20! 639 00:41:17,047 --> 00:41:20,323 For fuck's sake, Sheila, you've already got one! 640 00:41:20,367 --> 00:41:24,360 One each for later, when they're older, stop the arguments. 641 00:41:24,407 --> 00:41:26,477 She's not daft. 642 00:41:26,527 --> 00:41:28,438 Who's going to give us 25? 643 00:41:28,487 --> 00:41:31,479 25, over here! 644 00:41:31,527 --> 00:41:33,245 Sweet Jesus, give me strength! 645 00:41:36,087 --> 00:41:38,317 Lip, what are you doing here? 646 00:41:38,367 --> 00:41:39,720 Nothing illegal. 647 00:41:39,767 --> 00:41:43,396 lt's my night off, l said you could come and work here tomorrow. 648 00:41:43,447 --> 00:41:46,996 l haven't come to do homework. l bought you a present to say thanks. 649 00:41:47,047 --> 00:41:49,038 You didn't have to. 650 00:41:53,847 --> 00:41:56,315 l take it you didn't nick it? 651 00:41:56,367 --> 00:42:01,316 The receipt's in the box, in case you weren't keen on it. 652 00:42:01,367 --> 00:42:03,642 Thought you could do with the extra security. 653 00:42:04,047 --> 00:42:06,402 l know how to look after myself - normally. 654 00:42:06,447 --> 00:42:09,723 Maybe so, but you need eyes in the back of your head around here. 655 00:42:09,767 --> 00:42:12,998 My boyfriend used to work opposite shifts to me, 656 00:42:13,047 --> 00:42:15,641 so the house was always occupied. 657 00:42:15,687 --> 00:42:18,440 You only see each other at tea times? How does that work? 658 00:42:18,487 --> 00:42:20,682 lt doesn't. 659 00:42:26,167 --> 00:42:27,646 Listen... 660 00:42:29,727 --> 00:42:32,036 ..Say if l'm out of order, 661 00:42:32,087 --> 00:42:34,965 but l'm pretty good in the sack. 662 00:42:36,807 --> 00:42:39,196 And why would l want to know that? 663 00:42:39,247 --> 00:42:40,885 Better out than in. 664 00:42:45,647 --> 00:42:46,796 How old are you? 665 00:42:46,847 --> 00:42:47,996 36. 666 00:42:56,767 --> 00:42:58,166 l'm off to run a bath. 667 00:42:58,207 --> 00:42:59,720 Like l said, 668 00:42:59,767 --> 00:43:03,760 give us a shout if you need a hand with your back scrubbing. 669 00:43:03,807 --> 00:43:06,275 The bath's for you. 670 00:43:14,087 --> 00:43:15,759 Can l have a bit of hush everyone? 671 00:43:15,807 --> 00:43:18,367 Don't worry, Anne, it'll be your turn soon. 672 00:43:18,407 --> 00:43:21,160 Ladies and gents, welcome on stage with the voice of an angel 673 00:43:21,207 --> 00:43:25,678 and body of a baby hippo, it's PC Stan Waterman! 674 00:43:34,967 --> 00:43:37,037 We're caught in a trap... 675 00:43:37,087 --> 00:43:39,078 Thank you! 676 00:43:39,127 --> 00:43:41,595 ..l can't walk out 677 00:43:41,647 --> 00:43:43,319 CLAPPlNG 678 00:43:43,367 --> 00:43:48,441 Because l love you too much, baby 679 00:43:51,607 --> 00:43:53,677 Why can't you see 680 00:43:53,727 --> 00:43:55,080 That's him! lt's fucking Elvis! 681 00:43:55,127 --> 00:43:57,322 What you're doing to me 682 00:43:59,367 --> 00:44:03,997 When you don't believe a word l say... 683 00:44:05,287 --> 00:44:07,039 Come on, everybody! 684 00:44:08,327 --> 00:44:11,763 We can't go on together 685 00:44:11,807 --> 00:44:14,275 With suspicious minds 686 00:44:15,927 --> 00:44:19,397 And we can't build our dreams... 687 00:44:19,447 --> 00:44:22,644 (Screaming ladies) GET YOUR KNOB OUT! GET YOUR KNOB OUT! 688 00:44:24,567 --> 00:44:26,523 .. There we go again 689 00:44:26,567 --> 00:44:28,398 LAUGHTER 690 00:44:28,447 --> 00:44:31,723 (Screaming ladies) GET YOUR KNOB OUT! GET YOUR KNOB OUT! 691 00:44:31,767 --> 00:44:34,361 What is it? What?! 692 00:44:34,407 --> 00:44:38,685 (Ladies) GET YOUR KNOB OUT FOR THE GlRLS! 693 00:44:38,727 --> 00:44:39,796 What? 694 00:44:40,887 --> 00:44:42,366 Ah! 695 00:44:42,407 --> 00:44:45,558 Congratulations. You're going to be a daddy. 696 00:44:47,327 --> 00:44:50,000 You're gonna be a dad and everyone's going to think it's mine! 697 00:44:50,047 --> 00:44:51,878 But she's a fuckin' Maguire! 698 00:44:51,927 --> 00:44:57,001 Our one and only daughter and you've turned her into a woman. 699 00:44:58,887 --> 00:45:00,684 Do you want me to suck your tits? 700 00:45:00,727 --> 00:45:04,766 Maguire takes it on the chest, beats one man. WHAT A GOAL! 701 00:45:04,807 --> 00:45:06,445 Welcome to the family. 702 00:45:07,487 --> 00:45:08,966 Honest, Mimi, l love her. 703 00:45:09,007 --> 00:45:10,406 You'd better, lan, 704 00:45:10,447 --> 00:45:12,756 or your bollocks come off. 705 00:45:15,007 --> 00:45:17,396 Come on, let's get pissed. 706 00:46:09,567 --> 00:46:11,398 'Ahh! Oooh! 707 00:46:11,447 --> 00:46:13,324 '...Oh! 708 00:46:13,367 --> 00:46:16,359 'Elvis has left the building! Ah!' 709 00:46:23,127 --> 00:46:24,799 Debbie! 710 00:46:25,305 --> 00:46:31,707 Craving big poker? Feast your eyes on Venom. $5 million GTD. AmericasCardroom.com 53080

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