All language subtitles for Matilda 1996_track3_[eng]

MALE NARRATOR:
Everyone is born,

but not everyone
is born the same.

Some will grow to
be butchers or bakers
or candlestick makers.

Some will only be really good
at making JELL-O salad.

One way or another, though,
every human being is unique,

for better or for worse.

(SNARLS)

Most parents believe
their children are

the most beautiful creatures
ever to grace the planet.

Others take a less
emotional approach.

What a waste
of time!

And painful.

And expensive.
$9.25 for a bar of soap!

Well, I had to take
a shower, Harry!

$5,000? I'm not paying it.
What are they gonna do,
repossess the kid?

(CLATTERING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

There's no way out.

Make a U-turn.

All right.

ZINNIA: Harry!

HARRY: All right!

Harry!

BOY: The Wormwood guy is back!

NARRATOR:
Harry and Zinnia Wormwood

lived in a very nice
neighborhood in
a very nice house,

but they were not really
very nice people.

Get out of the street,
you little dodos!

NARRATOR: The Wormwoods were
so wrapped up in their own
silly lives,

that they barely noticed
they had a daughter.

Had they paid any
attention to her at all,

they'd have realized she was
a rather extraordinary child.

Oh, my gosh, Matilda!
Now look what you did!

NARRATOR: They named
her Matilda.

You're supposed
to eat the spinach!

(EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)

Babies!

You're better off
raising tomatoes!

NARRATOR: By the time
she was two,

Matilda had learned
what most people learn
in their early 30s,

how to take care of herself.

As time went by,
she developed
a sense of style.

Every morning,
Matilda's older brother,
Michael, went to school.

Bye, Mom.

Go on,
get out of here.

Her father went to work
selling used cars...

Make money!

...for unfair prices.

And her mother
took off to play bingo.

Soup's on the stove.
Heat it up
if you get hungry.

NARRATOR: Matilda was
left alone.

(DOOR CLOSING)

That was how she liked it.

♪ On my way

♪ On my way

♪ On my way

♪ On my way

♪ I would like to
reach out my hand

♪ I may see you

♪ I may tell you to run

♪ On my way

♪ On my way

♪ You know what they
say about the young

♪ Well, pick me up
with golden hands

♪ I may see you ♪

NARRATOR: By the time
she was four,

Matilda had read
every magazine in the house.

One night,
she got up her courage

and asked her father
for something
she desperately wanted.

A book?

What do you want
a book for?

To read.

To read?

Why would you want
to read when you got

the television set sitting
right in front of you?

There's nothing
you can get from a book

that you can't get
from a television faster.

Get out
of the way.

NARRATOR: Matilda already
knew that she was somewhat
different from her family.

(BURPING)

She saw that whatever
she needed in this world,
she'd have to get herself.

Bye.

Ciao!

There's fish fingers
in the microwave.

NARRATOR: The next morning,
after her parents left,

Matilda set off
in search of a book.

(ENGINE REVVING)

Where are the children's
books, please?

In that room
right over there.

Would you like me to pick
you out one with lots of
pictures in it?

No, thank you.
I'm sure I can manage.

NARRATOR: From then on,
every day, as soon as
her mother went to bingo,

Matilda walked the
10 blocks to the library

and devoured one book
after another.

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING CONTINUES)

NARRATOR: When she finished
all the children's books,

she started wandering around
in search of something else.

Mrs. Phelps, who had been
watching her with fascination
for the past few weeks,

offered Matilda some
valuable library information.

(WHISPERING) You know,
you could have your very
own library card,

and then you could
take books home.

And you wouldn't have
to walk here every day.

You could take
as many as you like.

That would
be wonderful.

NARRATOR: So Matilda's strong
young mind continued to grow,

nurtured by the voices
of all those authors

who had sent their books
out into the world,
like ships onto the sea.

These books gave
Matilda a hopeful
and comforting message,

"You are not alone."

(CHILDREN CHATTERING)

(DOOR OPENING)

Any packages
come today?

Uh-uh.

Where'd all this
come from?

Library.

The library?

You've never set
foot in a library.

You're only
four years old.

Six and a half.

You're four!

Six and a half.

If you were six and a half,
you'd be in school already.

I want to be in school.

I told you I was supposed
to start school in September.

You wouldn't listen.

Get up! Get up!

Get out here.
Give me that book.

Dearest pie,
how old is Matilda?

Four.

I'm six and a half,
Mommy.

Five, then.

I was six in August.

You're a liar.

I want to
go to school.

(SNICKERING)

School. That's out
of the question.

Who would be here to
sign for the packages?

We can't leave valuable
packages sitting out
on the doorstep.

Now, go watch TV
like a good kid.

You know, sometimes I think
there's something wrong
with that girl.

Hmm, tell me about it.

Hey, dipface,
have a marshmallow.

Have another marshmallow,
dipface!

Dipface!

(MATILDA SNIFFLING)

NARRATOR: Sometimes Matilda
longed for a friend.

Someone like the kind,
courageous people
in her books.

It occurred to her that,
like talking dragons

and princesses with hair
long enough to climb,

such people might exist
only in storybooks.

But Matilda was about
to discover that she
could be her own friend.

(WHOOPING)

That she had a kind
of strength she wasn't
even aware of.

I'm great!
I'm incredible!

Michael, pencil and
paper in the kitchen.

Did we sell some cars
today, honeydew?

Did we?

Does that mean I can
get that new TV?

Yeah.

Son, one day you're
gonna have to earn
your own living.

It's time you learned
the family business.

Sit down.
Write this down.

All right, the first car
your brilliant father sold
cost $320.

I sold it for $1,158.

The second one cost $512.

I sold it for $2,269.

Wait, Dad,
you're going too fast.

Just write.

The third cost $68.

I sold it for $999!

And the fourth cost $1,100.

I sold it for $7,839
big American boffos.

Harry!

What was my profit
for the day?

Could you repeat
the last one?

$10,265.

Check it if
you don't believe me.

You're a little cheat.
You saw the paper.

From all the way over here?

Are you being
smart with me?

If you're being smart
with me, young lady,
you're gonna be punished.

Punished for being smart?

For being a smart aleck!

When a person is bad,
that person has to be
taught a lesson.

"Person"?

Get up! Get up!

NARRATOR: Harry Wormwood
had unintentionally
given his daughter

the first practical
advice she could use.

He meant to say,
"When a child is bad."

Instead, he said,
"When a person is bad,"

and, thereby, introduced
a revolutionary idea

that children could
punish their parents.

Only when they deserved it,
of course.

(HARRY SNORING)

(TICKING)

(ALARM CLOCK RINGING)

(HARRY MUTTERING)

HARRY: Come on.

(HARRY COUGHING)

(GROANING)

(YAWNING)

(GASPS)

(SIGHS)

Michael,
come into my room!

What?

My boy, today's the day
I take you to the shop.
What do you say?

I don't know.
What do you say, Dad?

I say appearance is
nine-tenths of the law.

People don't buy a car.
They buy me.

Which is why I personally take
such pride in my appearance.

Well oiled hair,
clean shave, snappy suit.

Now, run along
and get ready for
a big day of learning, kid.

It's gonna be a big
day of learning, too.

There's a sucker
born every minute.

We're gonna take them
for all they got.

Give me the cookies.

Here.

(HARRY HUMMING)

Okay, my boy,
heir to the throne,
today we diddle the customer.

What's wrong with you?
What are you looking at?

Lovekins,
where's my breakfast?

Here we are,
my heartstrings!

(SCREAMING)

Snickerdoodle,
what did you do
to your hair?

My hair?

(SCREAMING)

(HARRY THUDDING)

(GIGGLES)

Give me those things.
Give me that.

Where are you going
with those? Give me those.
Get in the car. Go on!

Get in.

NARRATOR: Dirty dealings,

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

like buying stolen car parts,
never stay secret for long,

especially when the FBI
gets involved.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

9:17, suspect exits domicile.

I've got 9:18.

9:17 is correct.

Michael, one day
all this will be yours.

This?

See this junker?
I paid $100 for her.

She's got 120,000
miles on her.

Transmission shot,
bumpers are falling off.

What do I do
with her, hmm?

I sell her!

We really should
weld these bumpers on,

but that takes time,
equipment, money.

So, we use Super
Super Glue instead.

Go ahead. Put it on there.

Won't it fall off?

Definitely.

Isn't that
dangerous?

Not to me.
Okay?

Transmission.

The sawdust quiets the gears
and lets the engine run as
sweet as a nut.

(LAUGHING)
For a couple of miles.

Daddy, that's cheating.

Of course
it's cheating.

Nobody ever got
rich being honest.

Twenty years ago,
we could turn the
numbers back by hand.

But... Here,
take my hat.

But the feds like to
test the ingenuity of
the American businessman.

Two directional drill.

You run it backwards,
the numbers go down.

Watch the speedometer.

(DRILL WHIRRING)

MICHAEL: Cool.

See?

Yeah.

Daddy, you're a crook.

What?

This is illegal.

Here, keep drilling.

Do you make money?
Do you have a job?

No, but don't people
need good cars?

Can't you sell
good cars, Dad?

Listen, you little wiseacre!

I'm smart, you're dumb.
I'm big, you're little.
I'm right, you're wrong.

And there's nothing
you can do about it.

(EXCLAIMS)

(DRILL CONTINUES WHIRRING)

(HARRY EXCLAIMS IN DELIGHT)

HARRY: It's going
way down there.

(CAR HONKING)

Harry, I won, I won!

I hit the double bingo!

(SCREAMS)

Come on, everybody.
I'm taking you all
to Cafe le Ritz.

Let me see the money!

Never mind.

Double bingo, huh? Ooh!

God, your hair
looks awful.

I hope they
let you in.

They'll let me in.

Here's your hat, Daddy.

Get in the car!

Go on, get in.

Yeah.

How much?

It's for me to know
and you to find out.

(SCOFFS)

It's nice to go out
sometimes, isn't it?

Yeah!

You never
take us out.

Of course I do.
I took you to The Flipper.

I don't remember
any, "The Flipper."

HARRY: The fish joint.
You found that comb
in the bouillabaisse.

ZINNIA: Oh, yeah,
I liked that joint.

Bonjour.
This way, please.

Harry, take
your hat off.

I can't.

This is a nice place.
You can't wear a hat inside.

I can't take
it off.

Harry, nobody cares
what your hair looks like.

I can't get it off.

What's with this hat?

I can't get it off.
I can't...

(ZINNIA GRUNTS)

Just a minute.
I'm gonna yank
this hat off.

Pull it! Pull it!

I'm pulling it!

(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

I think your head
swelled up really bad.

(GROANING)

You're pulling the skin!

You're such a baby!
Stop it!

Fibers are fused
to the head!

"Fibers are fused..."
What is that
supposed to mean?

Give me that hat!

(EXCLAIMING)

Whoa.

Mmm!

HARRY: I will not be
the figure of ridicule!

I want respect,
and I want it now!

(GROANS)

I still don't see
how you glued your
hat on, Harry.

I mean, I know you
say you didn't,
but obviously you did.

I did not glue
my hat to my head!

The hat shrunk! The fibers
fused to my hair! Ow!

ZINNIA: Baby, wait a minute.
I'm getting it now.

I'm getting it.
One more.

(GROANS)

Oh, my God!

(LAUGHING)

From now on, this family
does exactly what I say,
when exactly when I say it!

Here's your hat, Harry.

Give me the hat.

And right now,
we are eating dinner
and watching TV.

Are you ready to get
sticky with Mickey?

(CROWD CHEERING)

Shut your light off.

HOST: I'm just giving it away!

For those idiots out there
who don't know how to play,
here's how it goes.

For each correct answer,
they'll move one step
closer to our cube of cash!

Once in our cube of cash,
any money that sticks to
your gooey body,

you get to take home!

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Hi, Dad.

Are you in this family?

(MATILDA MUMBLES)

Hello?

Are you in this family?

Dinnertime is family time!
What is this trash
you're reading?

It's not trash, Daddy.
It's lovely.

It's called Moby Dick
by Herman Melville.

Moby what?

This is filth! Trash!

It's not mine!
It's a library book!

Trash!

I'm fed up with
all this reading!

You're a Wormwood!
You start acting like one!

Sit up and look at the TV!

HOST: ...not liable for any
skin irritation that may
result from playing our game.

Get real sticky
and get cash for free.
All right, that's enough.

(LAUGHING)

Let's get sticky!

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

(HARRY LAUGHING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(ZINNIA SCREAMING)

I didn't do it.

Of course you didn't
do it, you little twit.

I told you that
was a cheap set.

It's not a cheap set,
it's a stolen set. Whoa.

Put your light on!

Bummer.

NARRATOR: Was it magic
or coincidence?
She didn't know.

It is said that we humans
use only a tiny portion
of our brains.

Matilda might never have
discovered her own great
strength of mind

were it not for
the events that began
on the very next day.

WOMAN: I need a car,
inexpensive but reliable.
Can you service me?

In a manner of speaking, yes.
Welcome to Wormwood Motors.

Harry Wormwood, owner,
founder, whatever.

Agatha Trunchbull,
principal, Crunchem Hall
Elementary School.

(GROANS)

I warn you, sir.
I want a tight car
because I run a tight ship.

Oh, yeah, huh?
Well, uh...

My school is a
model of discipline.

"Use the rod,
beat the child."
That's my motto.

Terrific motto.

You have
brats yourself?

Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey,
and one mistake, Matilda.

They're all mistakes,
children.

Filthy, nasty things.
Glad I never was one.

Uh-huh. Well, since you're
an educator, I'm gonna make
you a great deal.

You had better.

Let's do business.

Thank you.

Enjoy it.

Hey, you,
you're going to school.

I am?

First thing tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay.

You'll get a real
education at this place.

NARRATOR: Matilda had always
wanted to go to school
because she loved to learn.

She tried to imagine what
her new school would be like.

Go ahead.

She pictured a lovely
building surrounded by
trees and flowers and swings.

Well, there was a building

and children.

So, regardless of what
Crunchem Hall looked like,
she was happy to be there.

Hey, wait up!

NARRATOR: After all,
any school was better
than no school at all.

Isn't it?

(CHILD SHRIEKS)

You, detention!

You're too small.
Grow up quicker!

Heads up. Shoulders back.
Stomachs in.
Stand up straight.

Hey!

Sorry.

TRUNCHBULL: Detention for you.

That's okay.

It's much better
than being out there.

Is that my teacher?

No. That's the principal,
Miss Trunchbull.

You've got to
be kidding.

Uh-uh.

You squirts better skedaddle.
I'm not kidding.

The Trunchbull likes to snap
her whip in there to see who's
trying to hide.

TRUNCHBULL:
Change those socks. Too pink.

I'm Matilda.

Lavender.

I'm Hortensia.

Hi.

Hi.

She doesn't really
hit children with that
riding crop, does she?

No. It's mostly
for scare.

What she does is worse.

(SOFTLY) Like yesterday,
in the second grade.

The Trunchbull
makes a weekly visit
to every classroom

to show the teachers
a thing or two
about handling kids.

And Julius Rottwinkle ate
two M&Ms during her lesson.

MATILDA: And she caught him?

HORTENSIA: Of course.

(TRUNCHBULL GRUNTING)

(STUDENTS GASPING)

(JULIUS SCREAMING)

Was Julius okay?

After being thrown
out the window?
Of course he wasn't okay.

He lived,
if that's what you mean.

The Trunchbull used
to be in the Olympics.

Shot put, javelin,
hammer throw.

The hammer throw
is her specialty.

So she does this
all the time?

It's better than being
put in the Chokey.

Chokey?

HORTENSIA: Yeah,
the Chokey.

It's a tall, narrow hole
in a wall, behind a door.

You have to stand
in a drippy pipe
with jagged edges,

and the walls have
broken glass and nails
sticking out.

Get inside,
you festering
ball of pus!

MATILDA: She puts
kids in there?

HORTENSIA:
I've been in twice.

Sometimes she leaves
you in there all day.

Didn't you tell
your parents?

They didn't believe me.

I mean, would your
parents believe it?

TRUNCHBULL: Sixty lines
after school.
"I must obey Miss Trunchbull."

No.

TRUNCHBULL: Out of my way.

Here she comes.

(EXCLAIMS)

Fresh meat.

Amanda Thripp.

Yes, Miss Trunchbull?

What are those?

What's what,
Miss Trunchbull?

Hanging down
by your ears.

You mean my pigtails?

Are you a pig, Amanda?

No, Miss Trunchbull.

Do I allow pigs
in my school?

My mommy thinks
they're sweet.

Your mommy

is a twit!

You'll chop those off
before school tomorrow
or I will come...

But I don't...

"But"!

"But"?

Did you say, "But"?

(SOFTLY)
Hammer throw.

(SOFTLY) What?

(SOFTLY) Definitely.

I'll give you "but"!

AMANDA: Whoa!

(AMANDA EXCLAIMING)

(GRUNTS)

GIRL: Good loft!

BOY: Excellent release.

(AMANDA SCREAMING)

Think she'll make
the fence?

Gonna be a close one.

(SCREAMING)

(SHIVERING)

(CHEERING)

Quiet! Get to class before
I throw you all in the Chokey.

Lavender, what's
my teacher like?

TRUNCHBULL:
Run, run, run!

Faster! Get in. Quickly!

NARRATOR: But Matilda's
teacher, Miss Honey,

was one of those
remarkable people

who appreciates every single
child for who she or he is.

I scooped these up
for you, Miss Honey.

Oh, how lovely.
Thank you, Amanda.

Okay, listen up, everybody.
We have a new student
with us today.

This is Matilda Wormwood.
I'd like you to sit over here
with Lavender.

Now, you all remember
how scary your first days
at school were,

so I'd like you to be
especially nice to Matilda
and make her feel welcome.

All right? Could you get her
workbook for her, please?

Yes, Miss Honey.

You can sit down.

NARRATOR: Miss Honey was
a wonderful teacher
and a friend to everyone,

but her life was not as simple
and beautiful as it seemed.

Miss Honey had a deep,
dark secret.

Though it caused
her great pain,

she did not let it
interfere with her teaching.

Well, Matilda,
you've come on
a very good day,

because we're going
to review everything
that we've learned so far.

Now, it's all right if you
don't understand any of this,

because you're brand new.

But if you do know an answer,
just raise your hand, okay?

All right. We've been working
on our two times tables.

Would anyone like
to demonstrate?

(ALL CLAMORING)

Okay. Let's do
some together.

Two times four is?

ALL: Eight.

Two times six is?

ALL: Twelve.

Two times nine is?

ALL: Eighteen!

Excellent!
You've been practicing.

Pretty soon, you'll be able
to do any multiplication,
whether it's two times seven.

ALL: Fourteen!

Very good.
Or 13 times 379.

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

4,927.

I beg your pardon.

I think that's the answer.

13 times 379.

Four-nine-two-seven.

It is.

Wow!

Matilda, you know how
to multiply big numbers?

I read this book last year
on mathematics at the library.

You like to read?

Oh, yes.
I love to read.

What do you like
to read?

Everything.

But lately I've been
reading Darles Chickens.

Charles Dickens.
I could read him every day.

So could I.

All right, everyone.
Take out your workbooks,
and let's start section three.

I'll be back in a moment.

TRUNCHBULL: Yippee!
Gotcha right in the neck.
And you!

(TRUNCHBULL WHOOPING)

Yes!

Come in, come in,
whoever you are.

(GASPS)

Almost got you.

(CHUCKLES)

Good to see you, Jen.
Good, good, good.

Time for one of our
little heart-to-hearts?

(CHUCKLES)

Actually, it's about
the new girl in my class,
Miss Trunchbull,

Matilda Wormwood.

Her father says
she's a real wart.

A what?

A carbuncle, a blister,
a festering pustule
of malignant ooze.

Oh, no. Matilda Wormwood
is a very sweet girl
and very bright.

A bright child?

Yes. She can multiply
large sums in her head.

So can a calculator.

Well, I think she might
be happier in an older
and in a more advanced class.

Ah! I knew it.

You can't handle
the little viper,

so you're trying
to foist her off on
one of the other teachers.

No, no, no, no,
Miss Trunchbull.

Yes, typical
slothful cowardice!

Listen to me, Jen!

The distance the shot put
goes depends upon
the effort you put into it!

Perspiration!

If you can't handle
the little brat,
I'll lock her in the Chokey!

(GRUNTS)

Get it?

Yes, ma'am.

One day, Jen, you'll see
that everything I do
is for your own good

and the good of those
putrescent little children!

(CHATTERING ON POLICE RADIO )

ZINNIA: ...get back
at Tiffany.

Before. When she was
having that...

Mom, I'm home!

Oh, how was school?
The thing with
Valerie's brother.

School was great.
My teacher lets me
do sixth grade work.

You're kidding.

Look, algebra
and geography.

Hold on a minute.

Can't you see I'm in
the middle of an
important phone call?

Well, you just asked me
how school was.

Quiet.

What else was she
supposed to do?
The baby wasn't his.

Well, it was
really great.

No way, they gotta
be implants.

The principal is insane.
She threw a girl
over the fence by her hair.

It would change your life,
too, if you waxed yours.
I'm positive.

I have the most
wonderful teacher.

Mine are driving me crazy.

I'm telling you,
six hours a day at
school is not enough.

I'll say.

Whack to the belly!
A smack to the face.

Another smack to the face.
Burns is hurt!

He's on the ropes,
ladies and gentlemen!

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Saved by the bell.

Packages at this hour?

Come here.

What?

Okay.

(GRUNTING)

Hello.

We don't give money.
We don't like charities.
We don't buy raffle tickets.

Mr. Wormwood,
I'm Jennifer Honey.
I'm Matilda's teacher.

What's she done now?

You! Go to your
room right now!
Right now! Beat it!

Look, whatever it is,
she's your problem now.

No, there is no problem.

Then beat it.
We're watching TV.

Mr. Wormwood,
if you think watching
some rotten TV show

is more important than
your daughter, then maybe
you shouldn't be a parent.

Now, why don't you turn
that darn thing off
and listen to me?

(GRUNTS)

All right, come on in.
Get this over with.

Mrs. Wormwood's
not gonna like this.
Come on, get in.

HARRY: Close the door!

Who is it?

Some teacher.

Says she's gotta talk
to you about Matilda.

What'd you do that for?
He had Velasquez on the ropes.

What do you want?

I'm sure you're aware
by now that Matilda has
a brilliant mind.

Yeah, right.
Mikey, give me a beer.

Her math skills
are simply extraordinary.

She's reading
material that I...

Want one?

Oh, no.
Thank you, dear.

(SLURPING)

Material that I didn't
see until my second
year of college.

Oh, college.

Great, college.

I really feel with
private instruction that...

That she'd be ready
for college in just
a few short years.

Look, Miss Snit,

a girl does not get anywhere
by acting intelligent.

I mean, take a look
at you and me.

You chose books.
I chose looks.

I have a nice house,
a wonderful husband.

And you are slaving away
teaching snot-nosed children
their ABCs.

You want Matilda
to go to college?

(HARRY AND ZINNIA SNICKERING)

College.
I didn't go to college.

I don't know
anybody who did.

A bunch of hippies
and cesspool salesmen.

(LAUGHING)

Don't sneer
at educated people,
Mr. Wormwood.

If you became ill,
heaven forbid, your doctor
would be a college graduate.

(SCOFFS)

Or say you were sued
for selling a faulty car,

the lawyer who defended you
would have gone to
college, too.

What car?
Sued by who?

Who you been talking to?

Nobody.

Oh, dear, I can see we're...

We're not going
to agree, are we?

No. I'm sorry I burst in
on you like this. Sorry.

We ought to sue her
for interrupting our show.

Tell me about it.

(ANNOUNCER CHATTERING ON TV)

HARRY: Why's he standing
in the middle of the ring?

ZINNIA: He's standing
in the middle of the ring
'cause it's over.

(WHISPERING) Thank you.

(WHISPERING) Tomorrow.

HARRY: We missed it?

Great, it's over.

Who won?

How do I know?
You shut it off!

HARRY: Was it my fault
that she came in
the middle of the fight?

TRUNCHBULL: Hop to,
hippity-hop.

The entire school will go to
the assembly room immediately.

Sit!

(WHISPERING) What's up?

(WHISPERING) Beats me.

Bruce Bogtrotter?

(CHILDREN GASPING)

(CHILDREN CHATTERING)

Would little Brucey
come up here, please?

Uh-oh.

(SIGHS)

He lives on my block.

This boy,
Bruce Bogtrotter,

is none other than
a vicious sneak-thief.

You're a disgusting
criminal, aren't you?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Cake. Chocolate cake.

You slithered like a serpent
into the school kitchen
and ate my personal snack!

Do you deny it?

Confess.

Well, it's hard for me
to remember a specific cake.

This one

was mine.

And it was the most
scrumptious cake
in the entire world.

My mom's is better.

(ALL GASPING)

It is, is it?

How can you be sure
unless you have
another piece?

Sit down, Bog.

(GULPS)

(ALL GASPING)

Here we go.

Smells chocolaty, eh?

Now eat it!

I don't want any.
Thank you.

Eat it!

(WHISPERING) Don't eat it.

BOY: She wouldn't
give him cake.

It's poison.

Something's up.

(ALL CHATTERING)

Mmm.

Uh-huh. Yum.

Hmm.

Hmm!

You look like you
enjoyed that, Brucey.

Yes, ma'am.

You must have some more.

No, thanks.

But you'll hurt
cook's feelings.

Huh?

Cookie.

(STUDENTS GASPING)

She made this cake
just for you to have
on your very own.

Her sweat and blood
went into this cake.

(SNORTING)

And you will not leave
this platform until

you have consumed
the entire confection!

The entire confection.

See you at lunch.

Thank you, Cookie.

Rotten kids.

You wanted cake,
you got cake.
Now eat it!

(ALL GASPING)

What in the...

Yeah.

(MOANS)

Poor Brucey.

LAVENDER: He's going to puke.

I can't look.
Is he going to puke?

Without a doubt.

Bruce looks real bad.

Give up?

(CHUCKLING)

You can do it, Brucey!

You can do it, Bruce!

Yeah, you can do it!

Go, Bruce!

(ALL CHEERING)

Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!

ALL: Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!
Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!

Silence!

ALL: Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!
Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!

Yes!

Yes! Yeah!

Silence!

(CHANTING CONTINUES)

Stop! Silence!

Stop!

(ALL CHEERING)

CHILDREN: Yeah!

Yeah!

(BURPS)

(ALL LAUGHING)

TRUNCHBULL: Shut up!

The entire assembly will stay
five hours after school and
copy from the dictionary!

Any children who object
will go straight
into the Chokey together!

MAN ON TV: ...rescue eight
out of Station 8,
Los Angeles County.

And this was a code R.
Code R's an official way of
saying we've caught a bad one.

A kind of accident
where death itself
holds a stopwatch on us.

Young lady,
where were you?

Miss Trunchbull kept
the whole school late

'cause this boy ate
some chocolate cake.

That's the biggest
lie I ever heard.

You see those
packages over there?

They were left out there
for the world to see

because you weren't here
to take them in.

Well, I don't think
it's fair, bumpkins.

What?

You get all this stuff
from catalogs,
and I don't get anything.

It's not catalogs.
It's car parts, sweetness.
It's business.

Oh, if it's business,
why don't you have it
sent to the office?

Because the cops may be
watching the office.

The cops are watching
the house.

What?

They're parked outside
right now.

You are such an ignoramus!
Those are speedboat salesmen.
Really nice guys.

Cops.

Speedboats? There are no
lakes around here!

Yeah, but some people
like to go away
on the weekends.

Some people have fun.

And some people
are cops.

They are not cops!

Are, too!

They are not!
I ought to know if there's
cops watching my house!

Now, go to bed,
you lying little earwig.

NARRATOR: With the FBI
watching her father,

and the Trunchbull
terrorizing her school,

it was a rare and happy moment
when Matilda could just
play with her friends.

A frog! A frog!
A frog!

What is it, Lavender?

A frog!

LAVENDER:
It's a salamander.

HORTENSIA:
It's a chameleon.

It's a newt. "Any of the
small semi-aquatic salamanders
from the genus Triturus."

"Some are brightly
colored and secrete
irritating substances."

(CAR APPROACHING)

(ENGINE KNOCKING)

TRUNCHBULL:
How could you keep going,
you useless, flaming car?

Wormwood!

Sell me a lemon?

You're heading for
the Chokey, young lady!

Chokey?

Teach you a lesson.

What lesson?

You and your father
think you can make
a fool out of me!

My father?

The guy with the
stupid haircut!

I'm nothing
like my father.

You're the spitting image.

The apple never rots
far from the tree.

LAVENDER: Miss Honey?

Miss Trunchbull teaches
our class today, Lavender.
Please get a water pitcher.

But, Miss Honey!

Shh. No, quickly.

She'll be here
any second. Come on.

Make sure the water's
cold, Lavender.

Vinny, cover the fish.

Put away the art project.
Put away anything colorful.

Oh, Charley, won't you get
those crayons for me?

NARRATOR: Most great ideas
come from hard work
and careful planning.

Of course, once in a while,
they just jump out at you.

Raina, cover the birds
and the beetles. Hurry.
Hurry! I hear her coming.

Okay, now, last time
some of you forgot yourselves.

Don't speak unless
you're spoken to.

Don't laugh. Don't smile.

Don't even breathe loudly.

(TRUNCHBULL SNAPS FINGERS)

TRUNCHBULL:
Don't breathe at all.

Morning, Miss Trunchbull.

CHILDREN:
Good morning, Miss Trunchbull.

Sit!

Shoo.

I have never been able
to understand why small
children are so disgusting.

They're the bane of my life.

(INAUDIBLE)

They're like insects.

They should be got rid of
as early as possible.

(HISSES)

My idea of a perfect school
is one in which there are
no children at all.

(CHUCKLES)

Do you agree, Miss Honey?

Now.

You, front of the class.

Are you okay?

(MATILDA SNIFFLES)

TRUNCHBULL:
Next time I tell you
to empty your pockets,

you'll do it faster,
won't you?

BOY: Yes, Miss Trunchbull.

Miss Honey?

This could be the most
interesting thing
you've ever done.

Sit down, you squirming
worm of vomit!

Thank you,
Miss Trunchbull.

Get up!

Can you spell?

Miss Honey taught us how to
spell a long word yesterday.

We can spell "difficulty."

You couldn't spell
"difficulty" if your
life depended on it.

She taught us with a poem.

(MOCKINGLY) A poem? How sweet.
What poem would that be?

"Mrs. D, Mrs. I"

ALL: "Mrs. F-F-I, Mrs. C

"Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y!"

Why are all these
women married?

"Mrs. D, Mrs. I"!

You're supposed to be
teaching spelling,
not poetry!

(TRUNCHBULL SIGHS)

I cannot for the life of me
understand why small children
take so long to grow up.

I think they
do it deliberately,
just to annoy me.

(CHILDREN GIGGLING)

(SHUSHING)

(GIGGLING CONTINUES)

What's funny? Hmm?

Come on.
Spit it out.

Speak up. I like a joke as
well as the next fat person.

(TRUNCHBULL EXCLAIMS)

It's a snake! It's a snake!

Ah, it's a snake!

(GAGGING)

(GASPING)

One of you tried
to poison me. Who?

Oh, Matilda.

I knew it.

I just thought you'd
like to know it's not
a snake, it's a newt.

What did you say?

It's a newt,
Miss Trunchbull.

Stand up, you villainous
sack of goat slime!
You did this!

No, Miss Trunchbull.

Did you act alone,

or did you have accomplices?

I didn't do it!

You didn't like
the Chokey, did you?

Thought you'd pay
me back, didn't you?

Well, I'll pay
you back, young lady.

For what,
Miss Trunchbull?

For this newt,
you pissworm!

I'm telling you,
I didn't do it!

Besides, even if
you didn't do it,
I'm gonna punish you,

because I'm big
and you're small,

and I'm right,
and you're wrong.

And there's nothing
you can do about it.

You're a liar
and a scoundrel,

and your father's
a liar and a cheat!

You're the most corrupt
lowlifes in the history
of civilization.

Am I wrong?
I'm never wrong.

In this classroom,
in this school,

I am God!

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

(GASPING)

You!

I didn't move.

You did this.

How could she possibly
have done it when she was
sitting way over here?

I'll be watching you,
each and every one.

When you turn the corner,

when you go to your
little cubbies to get
your smelly little coats,

when you skip
merrily to lunch,
I'll be watching you,

all of you,
and especially you!

Oh, my. Oh, sweetheart,
let me see.

Thanks for not telling.

Best friends don't tell.

She can really dance.

(GIGGLING)

I'm gonna clean up this mess,

and then I'll come
and help you fill
the bird feeder, okay?

I'll be out there in a minute.

(SIGHS)

Miss Honey?

Yes, Matilda?

Miss Honey, I did it.

You did what?

I made the glass
tip over.

Oh, sweetheart,
don't let Miss Trunchbull
make you feel that way.

Nobody did it.
It was an accident.

I did it with my eyes.
Watch. I'll prove it to you.

It's wonderful
you feel so powerful.

Many people don't feel
powerful at all.

(SOFTLY) Come on,
tip over, you glass.
Come on, glass, tip over.

Come on, tip over.
Tip over, glass.

It's all right, Matilda.

(SIGHS)

I really did do it,
Miss Honey.

One of the odd things
about life

is sometimes you can do
something until
you wanna show someone,

and then you can't.

Or sometimes you think
something's broken
and you take it to be fixed...

This isn't like that.

Oh.

I don't know.

Maybe I made myself tired.

Matilda, would you
like to come over to
my house this afternoon?

I'd like that
very much, Miss Honey.

Good.

I just stare very hard
and then my knees
get all hot,

and I can feel the strongness.

I feel like I could move
almost anything in the world.

You do believe me,
don't you?

Oh, I believe that you should
believe in whatever power you
think you have inside of you.

Believe it with
all your heart.

That's where
Miss Trunchbull lives.

MATILDA:
Why is there a swing?

A girl I know
used to live
in that house.

MISS HONEY: Her life
was good and happy.

When she was
just two years old,
her mother died.

Her father was a doctor,
and he needed someone
to look after things at home,

so he invited the mother's
stepsister to come
and live with them.

But the girl's aunt was
a mean person who treated
the girl very badly.

MATILDA: The Trunchbull.

MISS HONEY: Yes.

And worst of all,
when the girl was five,
her father died.

MATILDA: How did
her father die?

MISS HONEY:
The police decided
he'd killed himself.

MATILDA: Why would
he do such a thing?

MISS HONEY: No one knows.

The end is happier.

She found a small cottage.

She rented it from this
lovely rhubarb farmer
for just $50 a month,

and she covered it
in honeysuckle,

and she planted
hundreds of wildflowers,

and she moved out
of her wicked aunt's house

and finally got
her freedom.

Good for her.

Do you know why
I told you this?

No.

You were born into
a family that doesn't
always appreciate you.

But one day,
things are gonna
be very different.

Should we go inside
and have tea and cookies?

Yes, please.

Okay.

This is the cottage
from your story.

(SOFTLY) Yes.

The young woman is you!

But then...

No.

Yes.

Aunt Trunchbull.

(SNIFFLES)

When I left my home,
Aunt Trunchbull's home,

I had to leave all
my treasures behind.

Treasures?

Photographs of my
mother and father.

And a beautiful doll
my mother gave me
with a China face.

Liccy Doll, I called her.

Would you like some milk?

Yes, please.

Why don't you run away?

I've often thought about it,
but I can't abandon
my children.

And if I couldn't teach,
I'd have nothing at all.

You're very brave,
Miss Honey.

Not as brave as you.

I thought grownups weren't
afraid of anything.

Quite the contrary.

All grownups get scared,
just like children.

I wonder what
Miss Trunchbull
is afraid of.

There she is.

MATILDA: Shot put.

MISS HONEY: Hammer throw.

BOTH: Javelin.

(MEOWING)

Back! Back! Back!
Back! Back!

She's afraid of a cat?

Black cats.
She's very superstitious.

Go!

(BARKING)

Go!

(EXCLAIMS)

(CAT YOWLING)

Poor kitty.

Oh, he's all right.

Hopefully.

Let's go get
your treasures.

No, Matilda.

Well, she's gone!

Come on!

Oh.

Matilda!

Miss Honey!

Oh.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

TRUNCHBULL: Come on, move,
you piece of junkyard fodder!

Shift, you... No!

(GRUNTING)

(GEARS GRINDING)

(MISS HONEY GASPS)

My house.

(GASPS)

Oh, my.

My father's portrait
used to hang there.

MATILDA: Whoever painted
the Trunchbull must've
had a strong stomach.

A really strong stomach.

(GRUNTS)

Yeah!

(GRUNTING)

(EXCLAIMING)

We should go.

Oh, father's
chocolate box.

After supper,
he'd take a chocolate,
cut it in half,

and he'd always give
me the bigger half.

When he died, Aunt Trunchbull
would count them,
so I couldn't even sneak one.

She'd take a chocolate,
bring it to her lips
and say...

Much too good
for children.

Have one.

No, she'd notice.

Where's Liccy Doll?

Upstairs.

Matilda!

(MATILDA EXCLAIMS)

(MISS HONEY SCREAMS)

(CHUCKLING) Matilda.

(TRUNCHBULL MUTTERING)

You filthy...

Crush the little weasel!

This is my room.

That's my dad.

What's his name?

Magnus.

I used to call him
King Magnus.

And he called me
Bumblebee.

I don't think Magnus
killed himself.

Neither do I.

Is that Liccy Doll?

TRUNCHBULL:
Wormwood! You useless
used car salesman scum!

I want you around here now
with another car!

Yes, I know what
caveat emptor means,
you lowlife liar!

I'm gonna sue you.
I'm gonna burn down your shop.

I'm gonna take that no good
jalopy you sold me and shove
it up your bazooka!

When I'm finished with you,
you're gonna look
like road kill.

You what? Oh...

(SNIFFING)

(WHISPERING) Come on.

Shouldn't we hide
or something?

Yeah, yeah, go to
the end of the hall,

down the stairs and
out the kitchen door.

I'll distract her.

Who's in my house?

Come out and fight
like a man!

(GASPS)

Aha!

(LOUD CLATTERING)

(CLATTERING CONTINUES)

(GROWLS)

Tallyho!

(TREMBLING)

(DOOR SLAMMING)

(SNIFFING)

(FOOTSTEPS THUMPING)

(CLATTERING)

Come on, come on.

(CLATTERING CONTINUES)

Come on.
Over there.

Some rats are
gonna die today.

(GRUNTING)

Go!

(EXCLAIMS)

(YELLING)

(CONTINUES YELLING)

(WHISPERING)
Oh, my goodness.

Feel my heart.

Weren't you the most scared
you've ever been
in your whole life?

Come on, let's go.

She shouldn't be allowed
to treat people like that.

Somebody's got to
teach her a lesson.

I know.

We'll wait until
she leaves again,
then we'll go get your doll.

What?

Just kidding.

Come here.

Matilda, promise me
you will never go back
in that house again.

I promise.

Okay. Come on.

(ZINNIA LAUGHING)

So he came home
with $2,000 cash,

and he threw it up
in the air,

and we both just swam
in it like we were on
the Million Dollar Sticky.

Do you like that show?

I love that show.

That was the old days.

Now he's got money in
banks all over this planet,
and does he give me a dime?

Matilda, this is Bob and Bill.

They're cops.

They are not cops.
They are Ace
powerboat salesmen.

Baby face, I'm starved!

Hi, Harry.

Who are you?

What is this,
a hot tub party?

Get the hell
out of here!

I slave all day,
I come home,

you're entertaining
a couple of surfer dude
body builders!

They're cops, Dad.

You interested
in time-share?

Get out of here.

You don't let me
talk to people!

I am in a cage, Harry.
I need to talk to somebody
besides our stupid kids!

Oh, yeah? Well, a man
is entitled to come home
and find dinner on the table

without having to wade
through a convention
of male strippers!

Dad?

What do you want?

Yell at me, okay?

Shut up
and leave us alone!

Yell at me again!

Yell at you?
I'll come in there
and pound your miserable hide!

What do I have to do to gain
respect around here?

I'm gonna give you
a tanning like you never
had in your life!

My word is my law!

You understand? Law!

(HARRY BANGING ON DOOR)

NARRATOR: No kid likes
being yelled at,

but it was precisely
Harry's ranting and raving

that gave Matilda
the key to her power.

To unlock that power,
all she had to do
was practice.

HARRY: You're a little cheat.

What are you, stupid?

I'm smart, you're dumb.
I'm big, you're little.

The apple never rots
far from the tree.

There's something wrong
with that girl.

I'm right, you're wrong!

Hey, dipface.
Here's your book!

You're a Wormwood!
It's time you started
acting like one!

It's time you started
acting like one!

(RATTLING)

(CEREAL POURING)

♪ Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

♪ Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

♪ Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

♪ Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

♪ Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

(RINGING)

(CLINKING)

(JINGLING)

♪ Little bitty pretty one

♪ Come on and talk to me

♪ Lovey dovey, lovely one

♪ Come sit down on my knee

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Tell you a story

♪ Happened a long time ago

♪ Little bitty pretty one

♪ I been watching you grow ♪

MAN ON RADIO:
That was one of
my personal favorites,

played especially for all you
little bitty pretty ones.

Moving and grooving
on this sunny afternoon,

playing music to make you
smile, so you'd better not
touch that...

(RADIO TURNS OFF)

Shouldn't we have
a search warrant
to do this?

Nah. This guy's dirty.

Once we show
this tape in court,
Wormwood's goose is cooked.

I'm sure that box is full
of stolen car parts.

BILL: You been
taping all week.

How about letting
me handle that
camera for a while?

You know how
to use it?

You know about the zoom
and the white balance?

You know how to
adjust the eyepiece?

I can handle it.

Besides, it's my turn.

Yeah, your turn
to drop it.

I won't drop it.

Come on.

You two men are gonna be
in a lot of trouble very soon.

It's the female minor.

Aren't you supposed
to be in school, young lady?

I really hope you have
a search warrant.

According to
a constitutional law
book I read in the library,

if you don't have one,
you could lose your job
or even go to federal prison.

It's your father
who's going
to federal prison.

And you know
where you'll end up?

In a federal orphanage.

If you cooperate,
we'll make sure
it's a nice orphanage.

BILL: The kind with food
and teeny-weeny cockroaches.

BOB: What do you say?

There's another crime
in the making.

Your car is about
to run a stop sign.

NARRATOR: So she bought
a little time for her dad
to come to his senses,

but now Matilda had
bigger fish to fry.

Much bigger.

(CLAPPING ON TV)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Hey, dipface!
Where are you going?

Out.

Hey, dipface.

Have a carrot.

(COUGHING)

HARRY: Chew your food!
You're an animal!

NARRATOR: Having power isn't
nearly as important as what
you choose to do with it,

and what Matilda had in mind
was nothing short of heroic.

(METAL SCRAPING)

Come on. Come on.
Liccy Doll, come on!
Come, Liccy!

Come on, Doll, come on.
Please, come on. Come on.

Come on, Liccy.
Please, come here.

(EXCLAIMS)

Yes!

(GRUNTING)

You.

(CLOCK CHIMING)

(CHIMING CONTINUES)

(EXCLAIMS)

(CLOCK CHIMING)

Leave me alone!

No!

(EXCLAIMS)

(LOUD THUDDING)

Magnus!

(GASPING)

(CLOCK CHIMING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(WHIMPERING)

(GIGGLES)

(SNIFFS)

Miss Honey! Miss Honey,
you'll never believe
what I got you.

Oh, Matilda!

Matilda.

Oh, I also brought you this.
I ate mine last night.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

I will be teaching
your class today.

NARRATOR: In the time it took
Miss Honey to get very,
very nervous,

Matilda had formulated a plan.

She is really raving mad.

What is it your father
used to call you?
Hummingbird?

Bumblebee.
I'm sure she knows
the doll's missing.

And he called
her Trunchbull?

No, I suppose
he called her Agatha. Yes.

She called him
Magnus, right?

Yeah. Yes.

Maybe I could go back to the
house and put the doll back
while she's still at school.

No, I can't do that.

Calm down,
Miss Honey, really.

It's gonna be okay.
I promise.

Sweetheart, you promised
you wouldn't go back
in that house again.

I didn't.
I was on the garage roof.
I did it with my powers.

Okay, on the garage roof
with your powers.

All right, I need to
think. Let's see.

(SIGHS)

Powers?

Mmm-hmm.

(CHUCKLING)

I think I got them down.

Watch this.

(OBJECTS CLATTERING)

No more Miss Nice Girl.

TRUNCHBULL: Get inside!
Get inside! Quickly! Run!

Run, run, run!
Get against the wall!
Against that wall, quickly!

Don't make me wait!

Water!

And hold the newt!

Join the ranks! Move!

I am here to teach
you all a lesson.

Sometimes in life

horrible and unexplainable
things happen.

These things are
a test of character.

And I have character.

Form a line across
the room, quickly!

Run, run, run!
Don't keep me waiting!

Fill this gap!

I expect you're wondering
what I'm talking about, hmm?

Yes.

A child came to my house.

I don't know how.
I don't know when.
I don't know why.

Miss Trunchbull,
may I?

No, you may not.

But I know a child came.

So, did you know
it was illegal

to enter someone's home
without their permission?

CHILDREN: Yes,
Miss Trunchbull.

Sir.

Stand up straight!
Stomach in! Shoulders back!

Do any of you
recognize this?

Hmm?

Let's play a game,
shall we?

Who was wearing a pretty
red hair ribbon yesterday

and isn't wearing
one today?

Can you answer me that?

Who does this disgusting
ribbon belong to?

(SPITS)

I shall personally
see to it

that the demented,
drooling, slime-breathed,
little Lilliputian

who owns this disgusting
ribbon will never see
the light of day again!

You!

Miss Trunchbull, I was the
one who was at your house
last night. I know...

I broke your arm once before.
I can do it again, Jenny.

I am not seven years old
anymore, Aunt Trunchbull!

(CHILDREN GASPING)

Shut your holes!

You will be put
away in a place

where not even the crows
can land their droppings
on you.

Look!

CHILDREN:
The chalk! The chalk!

GIRL 1: The chalk!

GIRL 2: And the blinds!

(CHILDREN CHATTERING)

"A."

CHILDREN: "Agatha!

(GASPING)

"This is Magnus.

"Give my little
bumblebee her house

"and her money."

Money?

"Then get out of town.

"If you don't, I will get you.

"I will get you
like you got me.

"That is a promise."

(TRUNCHBULL SCREAMING)

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

Get them off me!

(SCREAMING)

(TRUNCHBULL SCREAMING)

(BOY SCREAMING)

(ALL GASPING)

No, no, no.
Miss Trunchbull,
please don't throw him!

(SCREAMING)

(BOY WHOOPING)

Whoa!

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

(CHILDREN GASPING)

(GROWLING)

BOY: Lavender!

GIRL: Lavender!

(LAUGHING)

BRUCE: It's the Trunch.

Wow!

HORTENSIA: Hey, you guys!
Look at this!

Yes!

(CHILDREN YELLING)

Let go.

Wow!

Cool.

I didn't know
I could do that.

Pretty good, huh?

(CHILDREN SHOUTING)

Ahhh!

(CHILDREN YELLING)

Yeah!

NARRATOR: And the
Trunchbull was gone,

never to be seen
or heard from,

never to darken
a doorway again.

Miss Honey moved back
into her father's house.

MISS HONEY: Teatime.

NARRATOR: Of course, Matilda
was a frequent visitor.

Did you know the heart of
a mouse beats at the rate
of 650 times a minute?

My! Where'd you
learn that?

In a book.

It beats so fast,
it doesn't sound like
it's beating at all.

It sounds like
it's humming.

A porcupine's heart
beats 300 times a minute.

All right.

Wait!

Hey, you!

Hey, we're leaving.
Come on. Let's go.
Get in the car. Hurry up.

Let's wrap up these cookies.
Come on. We're leaving now!

I'd be happy
to walk her home.

Well, nobody will be there.
We're moving to Guam.
Come on. Let's go.

Guam?

ZINNIA: Yeah.

Daddy's not going to be
in the auto business anymore.

I don't want to leave!

(SIRENS WAILING)

We're going on
a permanent vacation!

Yeah, and we got to beat
the speedboat salesmen
to the airport.

I love it here.
I love my school.
It isn't fair!

Miss Honey, please don't
let them take me.

Get in the car,
Melinda!

Matilda!

Whatever.

I want to stay
with Miss Honey.

Well, Miss Honey
doesn't want you.

Why would she want some
snotty, disobedient kid?

Because she's a
spectacularly wonderful
child, and I love her.

Adopt me, Miss Honey!

You can adopt me!

Look, I don't have time
for all these legalities.

One second, Dad.
I have the adoption papers.

What?

Hey, where'd you get those?

From a book
in the library.

I've had them since
I was big enough to Xerox.

Are you hearing
this, Harry?

(SIRENS WAILING)

All you have to do
is sign them.

I'll be an
only child again.

Shut up! I can't think
with all these sirens!

What do you
think, pumpkin?

You're the only daughter
I ever had, Matilda,

and I never understood you,
not one little bit.

Who's got a pen?

Here.

Thanks.

NARRATOR: And doing perhaps
the first decent thing

they ever did for
their daughter,

the Wormwoods signed
the adoption papers.

And here.

Okay.

All right, come on.
Come here. Turn around.

You're not gonna be calling
us for support payments

or something like that, huh?

Oh, no, no, no.
We'll have everything
we need. Don't worry.

All right, here.
Let's roll.

ZINNIA: Ciao!

NARRATOR: So Harry
and Zinnia got away.

And as bad as
things were before,

that's how good
they became.

Miss Honey was made
principal of Crunchem Hall,

which had to add an upper
school because children
never wanted to leave.

And Matilda found,
to her great surprise,

that life could be fun,

and she decided to have
as much of it as possible.

After all, she was
a very smart kid.

♪ Well, I would like
to hold my little hand

♪ How we will run, we will

♪ How we will crawl, yeah

♪ I would like to
hold my little hand

♪ How we will run, we will

NARRATOR: But the happiest
part of the story

is that Matilda
and Miss Honey

each got what they
had always wanted,

a loving family.

And Matilda never had
to use her powers again.

Well, I mean almost never.

♪ On my way

♪ On my way

♪ On my way

♪ On my way

♪ On my way ♪

"Call me Ishmael.

"Some years ago,
never mind how
long precisely,

"having little or no
money in my purse
and nothing in particular..."