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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Stuart, you're packing up?
2
00:00:03,934 --> 00:00:06,501
Well, it was a pleasure
working with you. .
3
00:00:06,534 --> 00:00:08,234
You are a unique individual.
4
00:00:08,267 --> 00:00:10,300
I didn't get fired.
5
00:00:10,334 --> 00:00:13,234
Carter, it was a pleasure
working with you. .
6
00:00:13,267 --> 00:00:15,434
You're a unique individual. .
7
00:00:15,467 --> 00:00:17,601
We emptied out
our storage unit. .
8
00:00:17,634 --> 00:00:20,968
Oh, cool... my old duck phone!
9
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,567
I remember those. .
10
00:00:22,601 --> 00:00:24,000
They don't ring, they quack. .
11
00:00:24,033 --> 00:00:26,234
Actually, this one's
a factory reject. .
12
00:00:26,267 --> 00:00:27,501
It barks. .
13
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Wow! .
14
00:00:28,934 --> 00:00:30,467
Listen to this...
15
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"from the moment
I laid eyes on you,
16
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,601
"I saw my future in your face.
17
00:00:35,634 --> 00:00:37,767
"I saw the person
I hoped to become
18
00:00:37,801 --> 00:00:40,300
"and what we can become
together. .
19
00:00:40,334 --> 00:00:42,000
Love always... Stuart." .
20
00:00:42,033 --> 00:00:43,701
You wrote that drivel?
21
00:00:45,234 --> 00:00:47,901
Charlie, this is sweet.
Women love this stuff. .
22
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Make me a copy. .
23
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Who is "my darling Anne"? .
24
00:00:53,267 --> 00:00:54,534
No one. .
25
00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:57,267
It was just a writing assignment
for a class. .
26
00:00:57,300 --> 00:01:01,234
Was part of the assignment
to marinate it in old spice? .
27
00:01:01,267 --> 00:01:02,667
It's not that bad.
28
00:01:02,701 --> 00:01:05,701
I'm getting a whiff over here. .
29
00:01:05,734 --> 00:01:08,000
Why don't you guys mind
your own business? .
30
00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:50,067
How can my approval ratings
be down? .
31
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We think it's because
you haven't come through
32
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on all your campaign promises. .
33
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Today every new yorker enjoys
lower crime and cleaner streets. .
34
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,767
True, but they still don't have
35
00:02:00,801 --> 00:02:02,801
their New York City
team jackets.
36
00:02:02,834 --> 00:02:06,968
I had no idea
that would cost $70 million. .
37
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,234
If your ratings drop lower,
we could lose support
38
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to renovate
the central park zoo. .
39
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That zoo means a lot to me. .
40
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It's where
my dad took me as a kid. .
41
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It's where I discovered
my love for pandas. .
42
00:02:20,367 --> 00:02:23,534
It's where I lost my virginity.
43
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I hope those last two
aren't related. .
44
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Don't worry, sir. .
45
00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:31,367
To boost your approval rating,
46
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,567
I've hired you
an image consultant. .
47
00:02:33,601 --> 00:02:35,801
You did what?!
I wasn't notified. .
48
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Why do I need to notify you
about every decision? .
49
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To make sure
things get done right.
50
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,434
I'm as qualified
to make decisions as you.
51
00:02:42,467 --> 00:02:43,968
I am communications director!
52
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I'm the deputy mayor. .
53
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And I'm the mayor. .
54
00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:52,601
I thought we were announcing
our job titles. .
55
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Hello. I'm Julia rhodes.
56
00:02:55,901 --> 00:02:58,300
Charlie Crawford.
57
00:02:58,334 --> 00:03:00,601
I hope you can light up
the mayor's image
58
00:03:00,634 --> 00:03:02,434
the way you light up a room.
59
00:03:02,467 --> 00:03:05,634
I'm sorry... did I walk into
happy hour at bennigan's?
60
00:03:05,667 --> 00:03:07,100
I'm mayor Winston. .
61
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Nice to meet you. .
62
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It's an honor, sir. .
63
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,634
Work on handshake. .
64
00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:15,334
Well, I didn't squeeze hard
because you're a woman. .
65
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Can be condescending. .
66
00:03:17,734 --> 00:03:19,834
Sir, Julia set up a focus group
67
00:03:19,868 --> 00:03:22,734
to try to isolate
the problem with your image. .
68
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,601
A focus group?
Oh, I have to warn you,
69
00:03:24,634 --> 00:03:26,334
I don't take criticism well. .
70
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Doesn't take criticism well. .
71
00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:31,000
Oh, come on!
I just gave you that one! .
72
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Sorry. I get a little
carried away sometimes.
73
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I'm just really excited
about working with you. .
74
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,701
Sir, we have that 11:00.
Julia, I'll see you at lunch. .
75
00:03:40,734 --> 00:03:43,734
Well, thank you. .
76
00:03:43,767 --> 00:03:44,968
Better. .
77
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How's this thing work, exactly? .
78
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Test, test.
79
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Charlie Crawford...
80
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555-0153.
81
00:03:58,234 --> 00:04:00,567
Charlie, I have a strict rule
82
00:04:00,601 --> 00:04:03,234
about dating
people I work with...
83
00:04:03,267 --> 00:04:04,767
I have to like them. .
84
00:04:04,801 --> 00:04:07,300
So I'd appreciate it
85
00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:09,501
if you'd picture me
more as a co-worker
86
00:04:09,534 --> 00:04:11,701
than as a woman
you're attracted to. .
87
00:04:14,901 --> 00:04:17,801
It's not working.
88
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,968
Caitlin... .
89
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,767
Guess who's playing cupid. .
90
00:04:23,801 --> 00:04:25,234
Oh, no. .
91
00:04:25,267 --> 00:04:27,501
You always set me up with
guys who you want to date. .
92
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:28,534
Like who? .
93
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,067
That Filipino bodybuilder
94
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,634
who designed dog clothes. .
95
00:04:33,767 --> 00:04:36,601
I should call him. .
96
00:04:36,634 --> 00:04:38,968
No, no... I'm talking
about Stuart and Anne...
97
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,167
the girl from his letter.
I looked her up. .
98
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,901
She still lives in New York.
She'll be here any minute.
99
00:04:43,934 --> 00:04:46,033
I don't know
about this one, cupid.
100
00:04:46,067 --> 00:04:48,634
I know my hookups
haven't worked in the past,
101
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:51,234
but I've got a hunch
about this one. .
102
00:04:53,734 --> 00:04:56,400
What the hell
are you doing here? .
103
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Surprise! .
104
00:04:59,334 --> 00:05:00,667
Hello, Stuart. .
105
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,934
Your friend Carter called
and invited me.
106
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Carter, Caitlin,
this is Anne... .
107
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,033
Hi, Anne...
108
00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:09,534
my ex-wife. .
109
00:05:09,567 --> 00:05:12,667
Surprise!
110
00:05:12,701 --> 00:05:16,467
Carter, could I speak to you
for a minute? .
111
00:05:21,634 --> 00:05:23,367
What were you thinking?! .
112
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You were married?! .
113
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How could you not tell me? .
114
00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:29,234
Oh, yes, let's make this
about you. .
115
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Feel free to use
my office, guys.
116
00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:35,434
Anne is the last person
on earth I want to see. .
117
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That woman made me gain
over 100 pounds! .
118
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Why? .
119
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Nothing I did was ever
good enough for her. .
120
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The worse I felt,
the more I ate. .
121
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Don't even have to knock...
just come on in. .
122
00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:50,434
Well, it's been a long time.
Maybe she's changed. .
123
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Oh, please. .
124
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At least talk to her. .
125
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It'll be therapeutic. .
126
00:05:54,701 --> 00:05:56,434
Okay, I'll talk to her. .
127
00:05:56,467 --> 00:05:57,901
There you go. .
128
00:05:57,934 --> 00:06:01,734
Mi office, su office. .
129
00:06:03,901 --> 00:06:05,934
Okay, we're ready.
Remember, sir...
130
00:06:05,968 --> 00:06:09,033
you can see the focus group,
but the group cannot see you. .
131
00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:11,367
This whole thing
is a complete waste of time.
132
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,033
Charlie, I can hear you.
133
00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:14,501
I know. .
134
00:06:16,934 --> 00:06:19,267
What's Paul doing in there? .
135
00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:22,234
Well, sometimes focus groups
can develop a mob mentality. .
136
00:06:22,267 --> 00:06:24,701
Paul's in there
to keep them on an even keel. .
137
00:06:24,734 --> 00:06:28,133
He looks like the captain
without tennille. .
138
00:06:29,367 --> 00:06:31,667
Here's a picture of the mayor. .
139
00:06:31,701 --> 00:06:33,534
Tell me the first thing
that comes to mind. .
140
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:35,033
He looks distinguished. .
141
00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:36,501
Like he's in charge...
142
00:06:36,534 --> 00:06:38,767
he knows
what he's talking about. .
143
00:06:38,801 --> 00:06:40,901
So far, so good. .
144
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,701
But you know what? .
145
00:06:42,734 --> 00:06:46,334
It looks like
he's gained some weight. .
146
00:06:46,367 --> 00:06:48,934
You know,
now that you mentioned it,
147
00:06:48,968 --> 00:06:50,434
he looks kind of fat. .
148
00:06:50,467 --> 00:06:53,200
Like a fat cat.
149
00:06:53,234 --> 00:06:56,601
I bet he's never done
a hard day's work in his life. .
150
00:07:00,467 --> 00:07:03,300
What is your impression
of the mayor here? .
151
00:07:03,334 --> 00:07:06,300
Hey, that's Charlie Crawford! .
152
00:07:06,334 --> 00:07:08,300
Didn't he date
Claudia schiffer? .
153
00:07:08,334 --> 00:07:10,734
No, he was with that
female volleyball player. .
154
00:07:10,767 --> 00:07:11,801
Oh. .
155
00:07:11,834 --> 00:07:13,567
Beach volleyball player. .
156
00:07:15,801 --> 00:07:18,968
How about that good-looking guy
on the mayor's left?
157
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,968
I didn't even notice him. .
158
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,667
He's the press secretary. .
159
00:07:22,701 --> 00:07:24,234
Doesn't ring a bell. .
160
00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:27,267
No, but the big, fat mayor
rings a bell. .
161
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:29,367
Would my approval ratings
go down
162
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:30,634
if I strangled Paul? .
163
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:33,334
They might go up. .
164
00:07:35,734 --> 00:07:37,801
I was surprised
when Carter called me,
165
00:07:37,834 --> 00:07:39,400
but I have to say,
166
00:07:39,434 --> 00:07:42,167
I was very moved
by the letter your wrote... .
167
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,300
Despite the grammatical errors
168
00:07:44,334 --> 00:07:45,901
and sentimental clichs. .
169
00:07:45,934 --> 00:07:47,267
Thank you. .
170
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,534
And you look different.
What is it?
171
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I lost 100 pounds. .
172
00:07:52,968 --> 00:07:55,868
No... I think
it's the receding hairline. .
173
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,434
You know, Anne,
174
00:08:00,467 --> 00:08:02,934
Stuart is
the assistant deputy mayor,
175
00:08:02,968 --> 00:08:04,167
a very important position. .
176
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,601
So you've actually achieved
something? .
177
00:08:06,634 --> 00:08:08,767
My mother will be shocked. .
178
00:08:08,801 --> 00:08:11,000
Oh, is she still alive? .
179
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:12,901
Excuse me? Nothing.
180
00:08:12,934 --> 00:08:15,567
I'm going to the ladies' room. .
181
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,534
That woman is evil. .
182
00:08:25,567 --> 00:08:27,734
Let's just leave. .
183
00:08:27,767 --> 00:08:30,400
No. This is my chance
to finally show her
184
00:08:30,434 --> 00:08:33,133
that I'm not the same guy
she walked all over
185
00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:34,534
15 years ago. .
186
00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:36,033
That's very brave.
187
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:38,801
I'm getting
the hell out of here. .
188
00:08:43,334 --> 00:08:45,701
I can't believe
they didn't recognize me.
189
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,934
I'm the press secretary.
I stand out.
190
00:08:47,968 --> 00:08:50,133
I command attention,
don't you think? .
191
00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:53,701
Why did you let me order
the kung pao chicken?
192
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,968
I said, "go chow mein,"
but you never listen. .
193
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,501
Hey, Angie... .
194
00:08:58,534 --> 00:09:01,167
Do you think
I'm an interesting guy?
195
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,434
I should get a manicure. .
196
00:09:06,601 --> 00:09:07,734
So? So? .
197
00:09:07,767 --> 00:09:09,801
How'd it feel to tell her off? .
198
00:09:09,834 --> 00:09:11,267
It was okay. .
199
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,667
Now you're ready
to get on with your life.
200
00:09:13,701 --> 00:09:16,100
Stuart, the stores close
in an hour. .
201
00:09:16,133 --> 00:09:19,033
You can talk
to your dumb friend later. .
202
00:09:19,067 --> 00:09:20,667
Coming, honey. .
203
00:09:26,334 --> 00:09:28,501
The results
from the focus group are in.
204
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:31,234
I've prepared a comprehensive
48-page report. .
205
00:09:31,267 --> 00:09:32,767
That sounds excessive. .
206
00:09:32,801 --> 00:09:34,767
Don't worry.
I've created a character
207
00:09:34,801 --> 00:09:36,834
called merv the monkey
to guide you through it. .
208
00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:40,501
We think we've zoned in
on the problem. .
209
00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:42,534
You don't seem to be doing
well with women. .
210
00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:45,534
Hey, I'm just going
through a dry spell. .
211
00:09:45,567 --> 00:09:48,467
We've come to
two distinct conclusions. .
212
00:09:51,234 --> 00:09:55,200
In this picture, women found you
reliable and sensitive. .
213
00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:58,834
But in this picture... .
214
00:09:58,868 --> 00:10:02,567
Women found you unreliable
and insensitive. .
215
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,801
Well, this is easy. .
216
00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:10,868
Let's just not show them
that picture. .
217
00:10:17,601 --> 00:10:19,934
So, in essence,
the mayor's wholesome image
218
00:10:19,968 --> 00:10:21,934
is being compromised
by the fact
219
00:10:21,968 --> 00:10:25,467
that women find Charlie
dangerous yet sexually enticing,
220
00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:28,400
and these findings
just scratch the surface. .
221
00:10:28,434 --> 00:10:32,200
Well, clearly we need to do
more research.
222
00:10:32,234 --> 00:10:35,267
I'll need these women's names.
I'll need their numbers. .
223
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,767
Let me get this straight... .
224
00:10:37,801 --> 00:10:40,033
Charlie's getting
all the action,
225
00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:41,801
and I'm taking all the heat? .
226
00:10:41,834 --> 00:10:42,934
Basically. .
227
00:10:42,968 --> 00:10:45,701
Any way we can reverse that?
228
00:10:45,734 --> 00:10:49,701
I've got a meeting.
You all just keep me posted. .
229
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,200
I don't find you that sexy.
230
00:10:55,234 --> 00:10:58,100
I prefer it that way, sir.
231
00:10:58,133 --> 00:11:01,133
Charlie, we need to change
the way women perceive you. .
232
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:03,734
You need to appear
more caring and sensitive. .
233
00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:05,400
First thing... .
234
00:11:05,434 --> 00:11:07,767
We'll work on his smile. .
235
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:11,934
And... We need to change
that wardrobe. .
236
00:11:11,968 --> 00:11:13,467
Let's cinch up his tie. .
237
00:11:13,501 --> 00:11:16,734
Hey, look, I'm not a doll
here for your amusement. .
238
00:11:16,767 --> 00:11:18,567
Oh, I bet he'd look cute
with bangs! .
239
00:11:18,601 --> 00:11:19,667
Oh. .
240
00:11:19,701 --> 00:11:21,334
Whoa, whoa! Back off! .
241
00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:23,968
You're not going to wuss up
my appearance.
242
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,033
I got more important things
to worry about than my looks. .
243
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,501
The most important thing
is that we get you
244
00:11:31,534 --> 00:11:33,434
some media exposure,
like a talk show...
245
00:11:33,467 --> 00:11:34,734
one popular with women
246
00:11:34,767 --> 00:11:37,200
so we can show
you can connect with them
247
00:11:37,234 --> 00:11:38,767
on an interpersonal level. .
248
00:11:38,801 --> 00:11:40,868
Who is this broad?
249
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:44,067
I'm the broad who was hired
to save your ass. .
250
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:46,467
Well,
according to your numbers,
251
00:11:46,501 --> 00:11:49,267
80% of women think
my ass is just fine. .
252
00:11:51,567 --> 00:11:53,067
Numbers don't lie! .
253
00:11:54,968 --> 00:11:57,367
You have been hostile
to Julia from the start. .
254
00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,133
Because this idea of yours
is idiotic.
255
00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:01,734
I am not gonna get petty,
256
00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:03,968
but one thing is clear
from her research...
257
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,834
people like me better than you.
258
00:12:05,868 --> 00:12:08,567
I'm not gonna pretend to be
somebody I'm not. .
259
00:12:08,601 --> 00:12:10,601
Your image
is hurting the mayor,
260
00:12:10,634 --> 00:12:12,167
so drop the vanity act. .
261
00:12:22,167 --> 00:12:25,400
I figured out why the focus
group didn't recognize me.
262
00:12:25,434 --> 00:12:27,501
I'm too stable, too successful. .
263
00:12:27,534 --> 00:12:28,934
People are intrigued
264
00:12:28,968 --> 00:12:31,167
by celebrities who are flawed.
265
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,400
I need to come up with a flaw. .
266
00:12:33,434 --> 00:12:36,601
Gee, let's brainstorm on that
for about eight seconds.
267
00:12:36,634 --> 00:12:38,767
I wonder how long it would take
268
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,901
to develop a drinking problem. .
269
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:43,801
Remember, I want you
ready to go by 7:00.
270
00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:45,300
I will be. .
271
00:12:45,334 --> 00:12:47,334
Is that your duck phone?
272
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:51,300
I thought I made you get rid
of that years ago. .
273
00:12:51,334 --> 00:12:53,300
Oh, I just found it
in an old box
274
00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:55,501
and thought I'd donate it
to charity.
275
00:12:55,534 --> 00:12:57,400
I'm not using it. .
276
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,000
I-I can't talk now. .
277
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:08,634
I will see you later. .
278
00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,567
Oh... and wear a tie. .
279
00:13:11,601 --> 00:13:13,868
But not one like that.
280
00:13:16,334 --> 00:13:17,968
Stuart...
281
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,367
Stuart!
282
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,167
Stuart!! .
283
00:13:25,334 --> 00:13:28,501
You're letting Anne
take over your life. .
284
00:13:31,367 --> 00:13:33,300
That's just an excuse.
285
00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:35,467
Carter... .
286
00:13:35,501 --> 00:13:38,133
You listen to me.
287
00:13:38,167 --> 00:13:41,834
Anne is just giving me
direction! .
288
00:13:43,601 --> 00:13:45,968
I mean, I should have
my own office. .
289
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,634
And I should be making
more money. .
290
00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:52,067
And I should be breaking off
291
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:54,534
all contact with my parents. .
292
00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:02,334
My next guest is spearheading
several new programs
293
00:14:02,367 --> 00:14:05,000
that will make life easier
for women in this city. .
294
00:14:05,033 --> 00:14:07,367
And besides that,
he's a real cutie patootie. .
295
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,501
Please welcome the deputy mayor
of New York, Charlie Crawford! .
296
00:14:16,434 --> 00:14:17,667
How are you? .
297
00:14:17,701 --> 00:14:18,968
Good. .
298
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,000
Nice to see you.
Thanks for being here. .
299
00:14:21,033 --> 00:14:22,868
Thank you. .
300
00:14:22,901 --> 00:14:25,167
How are you, Charlie?
301
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,234
I'm so honored
to be on the show. .
302
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,367
You do so much
for women's issues,
303
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,501
and I feel so strongly
about that. .
304
00:14:31,534 --> 00:14:34,267
What exactly do you mean
by "women's issues"? .
305
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:37,934
When a man watches football
and something bad happens,
306
00:14:37,968 --> 00:14:41,200
he'll yell something
at the tv like, "come on!" .
307
00:14:41,234 --> 00:14:43,200
But women are different. .
308
00:14:43,234 --> 00:14:45,167
They can have babies. .
309
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,000
So...
310
00:14:47,033 --> 00:14:50,434
I guess that's
what I'm trying to say. .
311
00:14:50,467 --> 00:14:51,834
A little bird told me
312
00:14:51,868 --> 00:14:54,033
that you were dating
Claudia schiffer. .
313
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,300
Any truth in that?
'Cause she is gorgeous. .
314
00:14:57,968 --> 00:15:01,067
All I know is that she's
beautiful on the inside. .
315
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,801
On the inside? .
316
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:05,300
Hey, if I looked like her,
I'd be butt naked every day
317
00:15:05,334 --> 00:15:07,300
in the frozen-food section
of a&p. .
318
00:15:07,334 --> 00:15:09,133
You know what I mean? .
319
00:15:09,167 --> 00:15:11,968
Listen, up next is
a single mother from new Jersey
320
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,667
who raised five children
on a paralegal's salary
321
00:15:14,701 --> 00:15:16,667
and then took down big tobacco. .
322
00:15:16,701 --> 00:15:18,434
Oh... .
323
00:15:18,467 --> 00:15:19,734
What? .
324
00:15:19,767 --> 00:15:23,100
Her story... is so moving. .
325
00:15:25,267 --> 00:15:27,334
Somebody get him a hankie. .
326
00:15:27,367 --> 00:15:28,701
We're gonna take a break,
327
00:15:28,734 --> 00:15:30,734
and we'll be right back
after this... Message. .
328
00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:40,534
I don't wanna talk about Anne.
329
00:15:40,567 --> 00:15:42,033
I won't say a thing.
330
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,634
I'll just let these
do the talking. .
331
00:15:46,267 --> 00:15:49,334
Oh, my God. .
332
00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:53,801
The big jeans. .
333
00:15:55,467 --> 00:15:56,968
The day I bought these
334
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,667
was the second-most
embarrassing day of my life. .
335
00:15:59,701 --> 00:16:01,667
What was the first? .
336
00:16:01,701 --> 00:16:04,367
The day I had them let out. .
337
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,033
Stu, I don't get it. .
338
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:07,968
Why would you want to be
339
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,367
with a woman
who does this to you? .
340
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,267
Look...
341
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:16,000
Anne was beautiful. .
342
00:16:16,033 --> 00:16:17,834
She was popular. .
343
00:16:17,868 --> 00:16:19,767
And when I married her,
344
00:16:19,801 --> 00:16:23,267
for the first time in my life,
I felt like a winner. .
345
00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:25,300
But you know
Anne's bad for you. .
346
00:16:25,334 --> 00:16:26,901
You gotta be strong, Stuart. .
347
00:16:26,934 --> 00:16:29,767
You gotta cut her loose...
Just like I did with Doug. .
348
00:16:29,801 --> 00:16:33,234
Didn't he leave you
for a male nurse named Hector? .
349
00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:35,467
Hey, we're talking
about you, not me, fatty!
350
00:16:37,601 --> 00:16:39,367
Stuart, do you wanna be
a winner,
351
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,501
or do you wanna end up
riding a minibike
352
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,601
in the "guinness book
of world records"?
353
00:16:43,634 --> 00:16:45,567
I don't wanna be that guy.
354
00:16:45,601 --> 00:16:48,334
Stuart... .
355
00:16:48,367 --> 00:16:50,033
You're a great guy. .
356
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:53,400
You deserve better than her.
357
00:16:53,434 --> 00:16:54,534
Stuart! .
358
00:16:54,567 --> 00:16:56,901
You're not ready!
We're supposed to meet
359
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:58,701
my mother for lunch!
360
00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:00,334
I'm not going.
361
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:02,801
Anne, ever since you got here,
362
00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:05,534
you've done nothing
but make me feel small,
363
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,033
and... I'm sick of it. .
364
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,167
Honey, I know I seem critical,
365
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,801
but it's only because
I care about you. .
366
00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:13,934
It's like you said
in your letter...
367
00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:16,133
we're meant for each other. .
368
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,901
Hey... Stop it! .
369
00:17:20,934 --> 00:17:22,300
What?
370
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:23,868
I like my hair!
371
00:17:23,901 --> 00:17:26,634
I like my job! .
372
00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:27,901
And you know what?
373
00:17:27,934 --> 00:17:29,367
I like weighing myself
374
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,667
on a scale that's not used
for livestock.
375
00:17:33,701 --> 00:17:35,400
Anne, I'm over you,
376
00:17:35,434 --> 00:17:37,400
and...
377
00:17:37,434 --> 00:17:40,434
I think we should both...
Move on. .
378
00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:44,534
If I leave now,
you'll never see me again. .
379
00:17:44,567 --> 00:17:47,000
Goodbye. .
380
00:17:52,601 --> 00:17:57,067
You, uh... Wanna go grab
a beer? .
381
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:59,601
No. I'm drained.
382
00:17:59,634 --> 00:18:02,734
I think
I'm just gonna lie down. .
383
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,601
Oh, Charlie...
384
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,767
I think you still have
some makeup left over
385
00:18:23,801 --> 00:18:25,234
from the "Rosie" show. .
386
00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:27,467
Why don't you go
into the ladies' room
387
00:18:27,501 --> 00:18:28,901
and freshen up? .
388
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:32,067
Nice one, sir. .
389
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:33,801
In all seriousness, Charlie,
390
00:18:33,834 --> 00:18:36,467
you going on television
and acting that way...
391
00:18:36,501 --> 00:18:38,434
it meant a lot to me. .
392
00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:40,734
In many ways, I see you... .
393
00:18:40,767 --> 00:18:42,667
As the daughter I never had. .
394
00:18:45,901 --> 00:18:47,734
Very clever, sir.
395
00:18:47,767 --> 00:18:51,033
I always enjoy a good ribbing. .
396
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:52,567
Hey, Charlie... .
397
00:18:52,601 --> 00:18:55,334
Does that sweater come
with a matching skirt?
398
00:18:57,067 --> 00:18:58,467
Paul... .
399
00:18:58,501 --> 00:19:01,100
Mean isn't funny. .
400
00:19:03,701 --> 00:19:05,067
I hope you're happy now. .
401
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,934
That was a complete disaster.
402
00:19:07,968 --> 00:19:10,434
I thought it was
very informative.
403
00:19:10,467 --> 00:19:13,167
I didn't know
women could have babies. .
404
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,467
Giving me that makeover was
a bad idea, and you knew it. .
405
00:19:16,501 --> 00:19:17,934
Okay, maybe I did. .
406
00:19:17,968 --> 00:19:19,767
Why did you make me do it? .
407
00:19:19,801 --> 00:19:23,400
Because you were such a jerk
about this focus-group stuff. .
408
00:19:23,434 --> 00:19:25,601
If I was a little arrogant,
I'm sorry. .
409
00:19:25,634 --> 00:19:28,100
But that is part of the reason
410
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,934
why the average New York woman
411
00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:31,934
has had 2.3 fantasies about me.
412
00:19:31,968 --> 00:19:34,901
I am burning these results. .
413
00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:40,033
Well, we got
some new polling data. .
414
00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:42,334
The good news is
you're up 1% with women. .
415
00:19:42,367 --> 00:19:44,601
The bad news is
you're down 20% with men. .
416
00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:45,834
But I've got a fix. .
417
00:19:45,868 --> 00:19:48,334
How do you feel
about riding a bull? .
418
00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:51,534
It sounds a little out there,
419
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:55,133
but... hey, you've earned
my trust.
420
00:19:55,167 --> 00:19:57,801
Charlie, your image
still needs a lot of work. .
421
00:19:57,834 --> 00:19:59,501
What is your problem with me?
422
00:19:59,534 --> 00:20:01,701
I don't have a problem
with you.
423
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,367
I'm simply reacting to data
from the focus group. .
424
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,400
Stop hiding
behind these numbers. .
425
00:20:06,434 --> 00:20:08,801
Admit it... you don't like me. .
426
00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:10,767
Fine. I don't like you. .
427
00:20:10,801 --> 00:20:12,033
You don't even know me. .
428
00:20:12,067 --> 00:20:13,367
Oh, I know you. .
429
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,400
You're the guy
who dumped me in high school,
430
00:20:15,434 --> 00:20:17,334
slept with my roommate
in college,
431
00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:19,267
and stood me up
last new year's Eve.
432
00:20:21,334 --> 00:20:23,534
Carol?
433
00:20:23,567 --> 00:20:25,701
I've dated guys like you
all my life. .
434
00:20:25,734 --> 00:20:27,200
You're sexy and charming,
435
00:20:27,234 --> 00:20:29,200
but the minute
things get serious,
436
00:20:29,234 --> 00:20:31,934
you're out the door.
Well, I am through with that. .
437
00:20:31,968 --> 00:20:33,133
Congratulations. .
438
00:20:42,234 --> 00:20:43,767
Ooh! .
439
00:20:50,968 --> 00:20:54,400
Soft lips... Minty breath... .
440
00:20:54,434 --> 00:20:57,868
Perfect pressure... .
441
00:20:57,901 --> 00:21:00,400
You weren't too bad either. .
442
00:21:04,634 --> 00:21:06,667
Before we start
the regular briefing,
443
00:21:06,701 --> 00:21:09,534
I have an intriguing
personal revelation to make. .
444
00:21:09,567 --> 00:21:12,067
It might make
an interesting story,
445
00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:13,567
maybe a movie of the week. .
446
00:21:13,601 --> 00:21:17,567
I, Paul lassiter...
Am a sex addict.
447
00:21:17,601 --> 00:21:19,901
I will now take any questions. .
448
00:21:19,934 --> 00:21:21,367
Yeah? .
449
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,033
Um, when will
the new subway cars be ready? .
450
00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:28,467
Aw, who cares? .
451
00:21:29,634 --> 00:21:32,100
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
32633
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