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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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What charity's this for, again?
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Help the children,
help the dolphins,
3
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help... help me, Rhonda. .
4
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It's a charity fashion show.
5
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I think
we came in the wrong way. .
6
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How can it be wrong
when it feels so right? .
7
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Here, Charlie, have some gum. .
8
00:00:18,334 --> 00:00:20,968
We can't let our breath
hold us back. .
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Careful waving that around. .
10
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These girls look hungry. .
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Yeah, stick with me. .
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00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:30,501
You might get to meet
one of these lovely ladies.
13
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I'm counting on you, sir. .
14
00:00:36,033 --> 00:00:37,367
Why, that...
15
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that woman's dress
is awfully sheer. .
16
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She's not wearing a dress. .
17
00:00:51,767 --> 00:00:54,033
My hair! It's ruined! .
18
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It's not ruined.
19
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I'll fix it. .
20
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Uh, uh... .
21
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No it's ruined. .
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I can't believe that model
is gonna sue the mayor.
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I mean, all he did is put
a little gum in her hair.
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Caitlin, Tatiana's hair
is her trademark. .
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Without it, she's just
another $10,000-a-day supermodel
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who will try her hand at acting
27
00:01:50,334 --> 00:01:52,434
and eventually
marry rod Stewart. .
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We've gotta find the mayor
a good lawyer.
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I already got one...
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my old college buddy, Scott. .
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He's on his way in. .
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00:01:59,334 --> 00:02:02,067
Is being your college buddy
his only credential? .
33
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:05,334
Well, he was my frat's
official kegmaster.
34
00:02:05,367 --> 00:02:07,701
Angie, cancel my call
to f. Lee Bailey. .
35
00:02:07,734 --> 00:02:09,200
You've got the kegmaster. .
36
00:02:09,234 --> 00:02:11,033
This guy is a great lawyer. .
37
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In two years, he made partner
at a top Washington law firm.
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I hate lawyers. .
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They always give you
false promises like,
40
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"they don't have
a case, Stuart." .
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"Those charges won't stick,
Stuart." .
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If you say he's good,
I'll trust you. .
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Don't worry about
all that kegmaster stuff. .
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That was a long time ago. .
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Hey, hey!
How's it goin', mullet head? .
46
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Not bad, you big sack of dirt.
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I forgot to tell you...
your friend Scott is here. .
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Thanks, Angie. .
49
00:02:40,634 --> 00:02:42,033
Hah! .
50
00:02:42,067 --> 00:02:45,033
Hah! Hah! Hah! .
51
00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:47,534
Oh, I'm sorry.
Scott, this is Caitlin Moore. .
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Nice to meet you.
A handshake will be fine. .
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Nice to meet you, too.
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00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:52,734
I cannot believe
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00:02:52,767 --> 00:02:54,934
that you are
the deputy mayor of New York. .
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00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:57,400
Six months ago, I was
talking you out of streaking
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00:02:57,434 --> 00:02:58,801
across the white house lawn. .
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You were the voice of reason
that night. .
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00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:02,801
It was such a better idea
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00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:05,167
to streak through
the Lincoln memorial.
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00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,601
I'll talk to you later,
Charlie. .
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Ugh! .
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00:03:12,968 --> 00:03:13,968
What was that? .
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Isn't that what we were doing? .
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No? No. .
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You dog. What? .
67
00:03:23,634 --> 00:03:26,100
You've slept with her,
haven't you? .
68
00:03:26,133 --> 00:03:27,934
No, but she treats me
like I have. .
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00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,501
So you wouldn't mind
if I made a run at her? .
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00:03:32,534 --> 00:03:34,033
You? With Caitlin? .
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Good luck. .
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00:03:35,901 --> 00:03:37,601
She digs chicks? .
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00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,033
No, she likes guys. .
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00:03:39,067 --> 00:03:40,200
Then I'm in. .
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00:03:40,234 --> 00:03:43,334
Guys who are open,
sensitive, and honest.
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00:03:43,367 --> 00:03:45,367
I could fake that. .
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Hey, Paul.
How's the coffee today?
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00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:56,033
Paul, you're in another world.
What's up? .
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00:03:56,067 --> 00:03:57,567
See that girl over there? .
80
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Isn't she pretty? .
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Yes. Yes, she is. .
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00:04:00,734 --> 00:04:02,667
She's coming this way. .
83
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,667
Hi, I'm Carter. .
84
00:04:04,701 --> 00:04:05,901
Hi, I'm Susan.
85
00:04:05,934 --> 00:04:07,968
I just started
in the parks department. .
86
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,267
And this is Paul,
the press secretary. .
87
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Wow. The press secretary. .
88
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You must really have
a way with words. .
89
00:04:18,067 --> 00:04:22,734
Well, it was, uh,
nice to meet you. .
90
00:04:22,767 --> 00:04:26,400
She's like an angel
sent from heaven. .
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00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:27,667
Hmm. .
92
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:30,667
Who's the fresh meat? .
93
00:04:30,701 --> 00:04:33,734
Her name is Susan,
and Paul saw her first.
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00:04:33,767 --> 00:04:36,667
I can respect that. .
95
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You've got
till the end of the day,
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00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,467
and I'm moving in. .
97
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That's 5 hours and 33 minutes. .
98
00:04:44,801 --> 00:04:47,934
Well, so much for that.
99
00:04:47,968 --> 00:04:51,067
Paul!
Don't let Stuart scare you. .
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00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:52,834
Hey, I'll help you. .
101
00:04:52,868 --> 00:04:54,501
Pretend I'm Susan. .
102
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Now, ask me out. .
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Okay.
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00:04:56,968 --> 00:04:58,434
Susan, I may not be
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the best-looking guy
in the world
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00:05:01,133 --> 00:05:02,868
or the richest
or the best-dressed,
107
00:05:02,901 --> 00:05:06,133
and I may not have the best
apartment in the world...
108
00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:08,467
Paul, there's nothing wrong
with being humble,
109
00:05:08,501 --> 00:05:10,801
but the whole "I suck" thing
might be a turnoff.
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00:05:10,834 --> 00:05:13,667
Susan would never go
for a guy like me. .
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00:05:13,701 --> 00:05:15,701
That's why I'm gonna
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turn you into a hip,
stylish, ladies' man. .
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First of all, what's with this? .
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It's Italian. .
115
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This suit is Italian? .
116
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Oh, I thought you were talking
about the stain.
117
00:05:26,267 --> 00:05:28,300
I had ziti for lunch. .
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First, I'm gonna put
the mayor's lawsuit to bed,
119
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then it's Caitlin's turn. .
120
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:36,067
Man, are you gonna crash
and burn. .
121
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We'll see.
122
00:05:37,234 --> 00:05:38,934
I've decided to break out
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the old Charlie Crawford
3-step plan. .
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Ah, the classics. .
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00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:46,133
Step one... impress her
with a skill. .
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00:05:46,167 --> 00:05:49,868
Step 2... establish
friendly physical contact. .
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00:05:49,901 --> 00:05:53,968
Step 3... take her to
the beach in Callahan's fiero. .
128
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Actually,
there's been an update. .
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Now step 3 is
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00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:02,934
accidental revealing
something intensely personal. .
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00:06:02,968 --> 00:06:06,067
Why? The fiero thing
still works.
132
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:10,067
Charlie! .
133
00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:12,167
This lawsuit is ridiculous! .
134
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,901
People target me
because I'm a public figure. .
135
00:06:14,934 --> 00:06:17,734
Regarding your case, I spoke
to the plaintiff's lawyers
136
00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:19,834
this morning
and cited Martin v torgove. .
137
00:06:19,868 --> 00:06:22,267
A life-and-death situation...
I.E. You choking...
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00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:23,934
nullifies any malice of intent,
139
00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:26,467
thereby releasing you
from any and all liabilities. .
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00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:28,067
In layman's terms,
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00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:30,400
you'll be golfing by 4:00. .
142
00:06:30,434 --> 00:06:34,467
In that case, I'd better go hit
a bucket o' balls.
143
00:06:34,501 --> 00:06:36,634
Scott, I'm impressed. .
144
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Step one. .
145
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So the mayor's gonna
come through this all right?
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I'll be having them
begging us not to countersue.
147
00:06:44,734 --> 00:06:47,000
Charlie was right.
You are good. .
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00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:49,133
Ah-two! .
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00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:54,334
Enough shoptalk.
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00:06:54,367 --> 00:06:56,467
Scott and I have
some catching up to do. .
151
00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:59,200
What do you say the three of us
have dinner tonight? .
152
00:06:59,234 --> 00:07:01,934
It sounds great, but, Caitlin,
you got plans, right?
153
00:07:01,968 --> 00:07:03,434
I would love to come. .
154
00:07:03,467 --> 00:07:06,200
Oh, but first, I...
I have to go call my mom. .
155
00:07:06,234 --> 00:07:07,667
Today is the anniversary
156
00:07:07,701 --> 00:07:10,167
of the day that my dad
walked out on us,
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00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,534
and...
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I think it just helps her
to hear my voice.
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I'm sorry.
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I probably
shouldn't have revealed
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something
that intensely personal. .
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Don't be silly. .
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It's refreshing to hear a guy
being so sensitive.
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Paul, you look great! .
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00:07:43,501 --> 00:07:44,767
What is this material?
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I've never felt
anything like it. .
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00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,400
It's cotton.
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00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:50,734
I want you to be confident. .
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00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:53,701
Thanks to me, you're well-versed
in literature, fine music,
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00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:56,467
and how to select
the perfect wine for any meal. .
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00:07:56,501 --> 00:07:59,100
If all else fails,
just don't be yourself.
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Susan! .
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00:08:00,834 --> 00:08:02,968
Hey... Paul. .
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00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,367
You look different. .
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00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,000
And may I say you look lovely? .
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00:08:10,033 --> 00:08:12,567
It was Shakespeare who said,
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00:08:12,601 --> 00:08:15,167
"shall I compare thee
to a summer's day? .
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Thou art more lovely
and more temperate." .
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Oh! .
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00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,767
Okay.
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00:08:22,801 --> 00:08:24,567
3...2...
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00:08:26,601 --> 00:08:29,067
Susan, would you like to go
to happy hour
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00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:30,534
and get some chicken wings? .
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00:08:30,567 --> 00:08:31,634
Sure.
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00:08:33,767 --> 00:08:36,868
Paul! Do something! .
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00:08:36,901 --> 00:08:42,067
A full-bodied cabernet goes
very nicely with chicken wings! .
187
00:08:45,033 --> 00:08:47,734
So, tell me
some of your college stories. .
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00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:50,767
My stories are pretty much
like anyone else's... .
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00:08:50,801 --> 00:08:53,767
President of the student body,
captain of the swim team. .
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00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:55,167
Tell her about the time
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00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,501
you got caught spying
in the girls' shower,
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00:08:57,534 --> 00:08:59,367
and they threatened
to expel you,
193
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,968
but they let you off
because you cried to the Dean. .
194
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,634
Tell her that one. .
195
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:06,734
That's pretty much
the whole story, Charlie. .
196
00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:08,167
Yeah, that's a good one. .
197
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,801
Not as good as the time
you got caught plagiarizing...
198
00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:13,200
I think I'll go get us
another round.
199
00:09:13,234 --> 00:09:14,501
I'll come with you. .
200
00:09:14,534 --> 00:09:15,968
Don't drink too much. .
201
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:20,000
Don't want to wet your bed
like you did your senior year. .
202
00:09:20,033 --> 00:09:23,234
What are you doing? .
203
00:09:23,267 --> 00:09:24,901
What? I'm helping him out. .
204
00:09:24,934 --> 00:09:27,133
Girls love
fun stories like that. .
205
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:30,267
Ladies love
a plagiarizing bed-wetter.
206
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:33,234
I just don't think Caitlin
should get involved with Scott. .
207
00:09:33,267 --> 00:09:35,501
He's a dog,
and he's only after one thing. .
208
00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:37,834
Maybe he's changed.
209
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,634
10 bucks says he's at the bar
210
00:09:39,667 --> 00:09:42,467
doing his "pulling a quarter
out of her ear" trick. .
211
00:09:42,501 --> 00:09:43,834
Hmm. .
212
00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:47,734
Looks more like a $100 bill. .
213
00:09:47,767 --> 00:09:49,100
What am I worried about? .
214
00:09:49,133 --> 00:09:51,167
Caitlin's way too smart
for Scott. .
215
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,834
It's not like she's gonna
go home with the guy. .
216
00:09:53,868 --> 00:09:54,868
Uh, Charlie...
217
00:09:54,901 --> 00:09:56,167
and you know why? .
218
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,334
Because she's got
too much class.
219
00:09:58,367 --> 00:09:59,901
I almost feel sorry for him.
220
00:09:59,934 --> 00:10:01,367
I'm gonna go bail him out
221
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,834
before he makes a complete ass
of himself. .
222
00:10:05,901 --> 00:10:09,400
On second thought,
I think I'll just let him
223
00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:12,267
twist in the wind. .
224
00:10:20,567 --> 00:10:22,234
Where the hell is Caitlin?
225
00:10:22,267 --> 00:10:24,634
I haven't seen her
since she left with Scott. .
226
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,334
She went home with Scott?
227
00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:27,801
I can't believe this.
228
00:10:27,834 --> 00:10:30,367
I've been throwing myself
at him all week. .
229
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,701
Hey, guys. .
230
00:10:31,734 --> 00:10:33,834
Since when do we leave bars
231
00:10:33,868 --> 00:10:35,534
without telling each other? .
232
00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:37,501
What about last week
at McSorley's?
233
00:10:37,534 --> 00:10:40,334
I turned my head, and you left
with the coatcheck girl.
234
00:10:40,367 --> 00:10:44,167
I didn't leave.
I was in the coat closet. .
235
00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:48,834
So, Scott's a pretty
good-looking guy, huh? .
236
00:10:48,868 --> 00:10:50,868
Any details
I should know about? .
237
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:53,801
That's personal, and I'd
rather not talk about it.
238
00:10:53,834 --> 00:10:57,234
I don't mean to pry,
but that Scott is a wild man. .
239
00:10:57,267 --> 00:10:59,701
One time,
we were down in Mexico,
240
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:02,601
and he got this tattoo
right on his butt.
241
00:11:02,634 --> 00:11:06,167
I can't remember if it was
a leprechaun or a devil. .
242
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:07,567
Can you help me out? .
243
00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:09,133
Okay, this is ridiculous. .
244
00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:11,400
If you must know,
nothing happened. .
245
00:11:11,434 --> 00:11:13,300
Hey, whatever. I don't care. .
246
00:11:13,334 --> 00:11:16,667
Why are you being
so weird about this? .
247
00:11:16,701 --> 00:11:18,000
Wait a minute. .
248
00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:20,300
You're jealous, aren't you? .
249
00:11:20,334 --> 00:11:22,801
No. What kind of person
would be jealous
250
00:11:22,834 --> 00:11:24,467
about you going home
with Scott?
251
00:11:24,501 --> 00:11:28,100
Caitlin. .
252
00:11:29,968 --> 00:11:31,133
I get it. .
253
00:11:31,167 --> 00:11:33,467
This is about
that time in the elevator. .
254
00:11:33,501 --> 00:11:36,367
You know... we both reached
for the button at the same time,
255
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,634
our hands touched,
and you gave me that look. .
256
00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:40,467
And while you tried
to play it off,
257
00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:42,267
you can't deny
there was a moment. .
258
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,467
Yes, I can,
259
00:11:43,501 --> 00:11:46,934
because I have no idea
what you're talking about. .
260
00:11:46,968 --> 00:11:50,434
Keep telling yourself that. .
261
00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:51,834
Hey, bud. .
262
00:11:51,868 --> 00:11:54,467
You got an instant message
from Vanessa,
263
00:11:54,501 --> 00:11:56,868
and we've been having
a little chat. .
264
00:11:56,901 --> 00:11:59,434
Oh, this woman is naughty.
Who is she? .
265
00:11:59,467 --> 00:12:02,601
She's the governor's
70-year-old secretary. .
266
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:04,501
Goodbye. .
267
00:12:04,534 --> 00:12:07,100
Rumor has it you struck out
with Caitlin last night. .
268
00:12:07,133 --> 00:12:09,501
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Everything is under control. .
269
00:12:09,534 --> 00:12:11,467
The 3-step plan
wasn't working,
270
00:12:11,501 --> 00:12:13,801
so I switched
to the nice-guy routine.
271
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,300
I took her for a walk,
272
00:12:15,334 --> 00:12:16,767
we went out for coffee,
273
00:12:16,801 --> 00:12:19,434
I listened to her talk
about her feelings,
274
00:12:19,467 --> 00:12:20,534
blah, blah, blah. .
275
00:12:20,567 --> 00:12:22,667
Hey, Scott,
did it ever occur to you
276
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:25,267
to try treating Caitlin
with a little respect? .
277
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:28,133
No, but thanks
for sharing that with me. .
278
00:12:28,167 --> 00:12:30,133
She will totally eat that up.
279
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,000
I want you to know
280
00:12:32,033 --> 00:12:35,033
that I couldn't have done this
without your help. .
281
00:12:35,067 --> 00:12:37,801
When I'm with her,
I'll be thinking of you. .
282
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,067
That came out wrong. .
283
00:12:44,133 --> 00:12:46,234
You know what? Forget Caitlin. .
284
00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:49,334
When was the last time
we did some male bonding? .
285
00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:52,701
We are going camping...
you and me alone
286
00:12:52,734 --> 00:12:55,734
in the middle of nowhere
in a tent. .
287
00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:58,901
That came out wrong. .
288
00:12:58,934 --> 00:13:01,167
We are going to Vegas. .
289
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,434
Two rooms. .
290
00:13:02,467 --> 00:13:06,901
You know,
you're acting really weird. .
291
00:13:06,934 --> 00:13:08,067
Wait a minute. .
292
00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:10,467
You're not jealous
about Caitlin, are you? .
293
00:13:10,501 --> 00:13:11,767
No. Oh, God. .
294
00:13:11,801 --> 00:13:14,133
Did she tell you some story
about an elevator? .
295
00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:15,567
No. What happened? .
296
00:13:15,601 --> 00:13:17,901
Nothing. Nothing happened
in the elevator. .
297
00:13:17,934 --> 00:13:20,200
Can't get it out
of your mind, can you? .
298
00:13:24,234 --> 00:13:26,000
I had Susan right in my hands,
299
00:13:26,033 --> 00:13:28,133
and Stuart just took her
away from me.
300
00:13:28,167 --> 00:13:30,667
Paul, this kind of thing
happens all the time. .
301
00:13:30,701 --> 00:13:31,767
Right, Charlie? .
302
00:13:31,801 --> 00:13:32,934
Sure.
303
00:13:32,968 --> 00:13:36,033
I've stolen tons of chicks
from guys like Paul. .
304
00:13:36,067 --> 00:13:40,801
Thanks, boss. .
305
00:13:40,834 --> 00:13:43,567
Come on, Paul, don't be
so down on yourself. .
306
00:13:43,601 --> 00:13:45,000
Remember... this is not
307
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,400
a competition
between you and Stuart. .
308
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,534
Ah!
309
00:13:50,567 --> 00:13:53,467
I love the smell of loser
in the morning. .
310
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,567
Hey, you scored the first date,
311
00:13:56,601 --> 00:13:58,334
but Paul lassiter is a fighter. .
312
00:13:58,367 --> 00:13:59,534
This is far from over. .
313
00:13:59,567 --> 00:14:01,067
That sounds like a challenge. .
314
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:03,901
Paul's gonna take this woman
to dinner and the ballet. .
315
00:14:03,934 --> 00:14:06,033
You are gonna look
like a pathetic fool. .
316
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:08,434
Strong words, Paul. .
317
00:14:08,467 --> 00:14:10,400
You man enough to back them up?
318
00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:12,767
Paul doesn't like your tone. .
319
00:14:12,801 --> 00:14:14,000
What are you gonna do? .
320
00:14:14,033 --> 00:14:15,901
He's gonna make sure
Susan sees you
321
00:14:15,934 --> 00:14:17,968
for the lecherous fraud
you really are. .
322
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,367
Ha ha! .
323
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,200
You got a lot of nerve,
talking to me like that. .
324
00:14:29,801 --> 00:14:32,734
We can't thank you enough
for settling the mayor's case. .
325
00:14:32,767 --> 00:14:34,033
That model was vicious. .
326
00:14:34,067 --> 00:14:35,667
She came after me
327
00:14:35,701 --> 00:14:38,767
like I was a salad
with dressing. .
328
00:14:38,801 --> 00:14:40,100
It was my pleasure, sir. .
329
00:14:40,133 --> 00:14:42,434
As a lawyer,
I'm all about helping people. .
330
00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:43,767
And as a man,
331
00:14:43,801 --> 00:14:46,434
I'm all about committing myself
to the right woman. .
332
00:14:46,467 --> 00:14:49,834
This is
such a refreshing attitude. .
333
00:14:49,868 --> 00:14:51,000
Where I come from,
334
00:14:51,033 --> 00:14:52,934
we still believe
in traditional values. .
335
00:14:52,968 --> 00:14:54,801
L.A.?
336
00:14:54,834 --> 00:14:56,267
Well, let's have a toast
337
00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:58,801
to the clearing
of my good name. .
338
00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:00,167
To think that that model
339
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,534
accused me of being
a danger to society. .
340
00:15:03,901 --> 00:15:06,300
Ow! My eye! .
341
00:15:06,334 --> 00:15:07,767
Well, time to go. .
342
00:15:07,801 --> 00:15:10,701
Think I'll cut
through the kitchen. .
343
00:15:10,734 --> 00:15:14,767
Enjoy. .
344
00:15:14,801 --> 00:15:16,834
Your coat's getting
all wrinkled up. .
345
00:15:16,868 --> 00:15:20,100
Why don't you let me take it
to the coatcheck for you?
346
00:15:20,133 --> 00:15:21,200
Scott is great.
347
00:15:21,234 --> 00:15:22,934
I am so sick of dating guys
348
00:15:22,968 --> 00:15:26,734
who are all about their money
and the kind of car they drive.
349
00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:28,834
I mean, he's a real grown-up. .
350
00:15:31,934 --> 00:15:34,567
We'd like...
351
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,634
I am one move away
from the end zone.
352
00:15:36,667 --> 00:15:38,067
Caitlin is really into guys
353
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:40,501
who make a lot of money
and drive flashy cars. .
354
00:15:40,534 --> 00:15:42,701
You haven't been
playing that up enough.
355
00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,234
I'm all over it. .
356
00:15:44,267 --> 00:15:47,934
Would you bring us a bottle
of your best champagne? .
357
00:15:47,968 --> 00:15:49,767
By "your best champagne,"
I mean
358
00:15:49,801 --> 00:15:51,534
your most expensive champagne. .
359
00:15:51,567 --> 00:15:53,501
And please hurry.
360
00:15:53,534 --> 00:15:56,667
I don't like to leave
my Porsche 911 turbo
361
00:15:56,701 --> 00:15:58,300
parked in the street. .
362
00:15:58,334 --> 00:16:00,133
Oh, I love that car. .
363
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,934
Maybe you'd like to get out
of here and go for a drive? .
364
00:16:02,968 --> 00:16:06,234
Sure, let me just go
to the ladies' room first. .
365
00:16:13,234 --> 00:16:15,868
All right, this is getting
out of control. .
366
00:16:15,901 --> 00:16:17,267
Oh, you're telling me.
367
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:19,968
I got about three minutes
to find a Porsche. .
368
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,667
We need to have
a serious discussion.
369
00:16:22,701 --> 00:16:25,133
I'll give you full details
in the morning. .
370
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:27,734
This thing with Caitlin
ends right now. .
371
00:16:27,767 --> 00:16:29,133
Why are you flipping out? .
372
00:16:29,167 --> 00:16:30,767
You're acting like an idiot.
373
00:16:30,801 --> 00:16:32,067
I'm having a good time. .
374
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,234
Why don't you grow up? .
375
00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:34,501
Look who's talkin'. .
376
00:16:34,534 --> 00:16:35,801
Don't push me. .
377
00:16:35,834 --> 00:16:37,267
Are you gonna hit me? .
378
00:16:39,667 --> 00:16:41,767
Dude, that was rhetorical! .
379
00:16:49,334 --> 00:16:50,934
Ah. .
380
00:16:53,234 --> 00:16:55,667
Looks like someone's
sitting home alone
381
00:16:55,701 --> 00:16:58,133
while Paul is out
on the town with Susan. .
382
00:16:58,167 --> 00:16:59,601
Ha ha ha ha! .
383
00:16:59,634 --> 00:17:00,901
Wait a minute. .
384
00:17:00,934 --> 00:17:03,534
A rented movie, a box of wine,
385
00:17:03,567 --> 00:17:05,868
two hungry-man dinners. .
386
00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:07,701
You're on a date. .
387
00:17:07,734 --> 00:17:08,767
Hi, Carter.
388
00:17:08,801 --> 00:17:10,000
Susan, where's Paul?
389
00:17:10,033 --> 00:17:11,400
I ditched him
390
00:17:11,434 --> 00:17:14,901
halfway through that stupid,
boring dance performance. .
391
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,567
Stupid and boring. .
392
00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:20,234
"Pas de death"
is this year's definitive
393
00:17:20,267 --> 00:17:22,534
off-Broadway
experimental ballet. .
394
00:17:22,567 --> 00:17:23,934
What about the restaurant? .
395
00:17:23,968 --> 00:17:25,400
Oh, it sucked! .
396
00:17:25,434 --> 00:17:28,033
It was so pompous and stuffy. .
397
00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:30,634
Pompous and stuffy. .
398
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:31,934
You know what?
399
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,834
I think Paul may be
too cultured for you. .
400
00:17:33,868 --> 00:17:36,400
Well, I think he may be gay. .
401
00:17:36,434 --> 00:17:39,734
Sorry, Carter, I blew it.
Susan ditched me. .
402
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:42,701
What are you doing here? .
403
00:17:42,734 --> 00:17:44,567
Oh, Paul, I'm sorry.
404
00:17:44,601 --> 00:17:47,200
I just don't think
we're right for each other. .
405
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,367
You're way too sophisticated
for me.
406
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,634
Carter told me to act that way.
407
00:17:51,667 --> 00:17:54,801
I didn't enjoy
a single thing we did tonight...
408
00:17:54,834 --> 00:17:57,634
well, with the exception
of "pas de death."
409
00:17:57,667 --> 00:17:59,534
I mean, that blew me away. .
410
00:17:59,567 --> 00:18:02,067
So you're not really like that? .
411
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,234
Oh, no.
412
00:18:03,267 --> 00:18:04,934
I'm just a simple man.
413
00:18:04,968 --> 00:18:08,167
I enjoy big-band music
and legal thrillers
414
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,968
and commemorative coins. .
415
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,033
Oh! .
416
00:18:11,067 --> 00:18:13,000
And here I thought you were
417
00:18:13,033 --> 00:18:15,367
this boring, pretentious jerk. .
418
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,467
Hey! .
419
00:18:16,501 --> 00:18:17,868
Whoa, whoa, whoa. .
420
00:18:17,901 --> 00:18:20,901
You're insulting
my good friend Carter. .
421
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:22,934
Well, I got news for you...
422
00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:26,100
you don't like Carter,
you don't like me. .
423
00:18:26,133 --> 00:18:28,100
But I do like you. .
424
00:18:28,133 --> 00:18:30,701
Okay, let's go! .
425
00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:34,601
Thanks. .
426
00:18:34,634 --> 00:18:36,100
Bye. .
427
00:18:38,234 --> 00:18:39,801
Oh, my God.
428
00:18:39,834 --> 00:18:43,100
I just lost a woman to Paul. .
429
00:18:43,133 --> 00:18:44,200
What about me? .
430
00:18:44,234 --> 00:18:46,834
She rejected
everything I'm about...
431
00:18:46,868 --> 00:18:48,801
my culture, my refined taste.
432
00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:51,667
I know what will make you
feel better...
433
00:18:51,701 --> 00:18:54,400
"when crocodiles go crazy III."
434
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,000
I'll unbox the wine. .
435
00:18:58,367 --> 00:19:00,267
Ah ha ha. .
436
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:01,300
Ooh! .
437
00:19:01,334 --> 00:19:03,901
Alligator in the trailer park. .
438
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:06,100
Bad time to wash the pickup. .
439
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:14,634
Okay, what happened back there? .
440
00:19:14,667 --> 00:19:16,667
Why did you get
in a fight with Scott? .
441
00:19:16,701 --> 00:19:18,634
That wasn't a fight. .
442
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:21,133
That's an old college game. .
443
00:19:21,167 --> 00:19:23,601
It's called "I punch you." .
444
00:19:25,501 --> 00:19:28,000
If you ever play,
try to go first. .
445
00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:30,734
If you were protecting my honor,
you don't have to. .
446
00:19:30,767 --> 00:19:32,901
Scott's not the first guy
to hit on me.
447
00:19:32,934 --> 00:19:34,234
I can look after myself.
448
00:19:34,267 --> 00:19:35,667
I know that. .
449
00:19:35,701 --> 00:19:37,434
Then what made you snap
like that?
450
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,567
Scott and I have been going out
451
00:19:39,601 --> 00:19:41,567
and picking up women for years,
452
00:19:41,601 --> 00:19:43,801
but when I saw him
doing it tonight, .
453
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:45,200
I-I just lost it. .
454
00:19:45,234 --> 00:19:47,300
That's not good enough.
I want to know why. .
455
00:19:47,334 --> 00:19:50,267
Because he was doing it to you,
and you're my friend,
456
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:52,267
and you deserve
better than that.
457
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:54,701
I'm so touched. .
458
00:19:54,734 --> 00:19:57,234
It's the sweetest thing
I've ever heard. .
459
00:19:57,267 --> 00:19:59,934
What's going on
with your voice? .
460
00:19:59,968 --> 00:20:03,467
This is a special moment.
Tell me you're not moved. .
461
00:20:03,501 --> 00:20:04,801
Oh, damn. .
462
00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:09,067
Hand me a tissue. .
463
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:12,467
That's it, let it out.
464
00:20:12,501 --> 00:20:15,701
I got blood on my loafers. .
465
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,834
Look, Charlie,
I know Scott's a player. .
466
00:20:22,868 --> 00:20:24,400
But deep down, I can tell
467
00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:26,567
he's an honest,
sensitive person. .
468
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:28,701
You should have seen him
break down
469
00:20:28,734 --> 00:20:31,100
when he realized
his Porsche was stolen. .
470
00:20:33,934 --> 00:20:35,767
I know
he thinks the world of you. .
471
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:36,968
You should talk to him. .
472
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,000
Yeah, you're probably right. .
473
00:20:39,033 --> 00:20:42,567
Come on,
I'll walk out with you. .
474
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:47,367
Get over yourself. .
475
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:56,033
Are we cool? .
476
00:20:56,067 --> 00:20:57,934
Yeah, we're cool. .
477
00:21:00,267 --> 00:21:03,434
I cannot believe the kegmaster
is a big-time lawyer. .
478
00:21:03,467 --> 00:21:06,100
And you're the deputy mayor
of New York.
479
00:21:06,133 --> 00:21:07,667
I guess we're maturing. .
480
00:21:07,701 --> 00:21:10,467
What do mature guys do? .
481
00:21:10,501 --> 00:21:11,801
They golf. .
482
00:21:11,834 --> 00:21:15,467
Wanna go golfing?
483
00:21:15,501 --> 00:21:17,334
I guess we should bring
some beers. .
484
00:21:17,367 --> 00:21:19,634
And some dates.
485
00:21:19,667 --> 00:21:23,868
I'm loving everything
except the golfing. .
486
00:21:23,901 --> 00:21:27,300
Let's go to a bar.
We can watch golf. .
487
00:21:29,634 --> 00:21:32,100
Sit, ubu, sit!
35088
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