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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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You're in a handicap spot.
2
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Yeah, I know, but it's Sunday. .
3
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,667
People are handicapped
on Sunday, too. .
4
00:00:39,701 --> 00:00:43,501
Look, I... I hate to do this,
but, uh, I'm the mayor. .
5
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Yeah, I picked up on that. .
6
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Oh, and by the way,
7
00:00:47,133 --> 00:00:51,834
thanks for not approving
our pay raise.
8
00:00:51,868 --> 00:00:57,033
I knew that would come back
to bite me in the ass. .
9
00:01:21,934 --> 00:01:24,133
So the mayor
got a parking ticket? .
10
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He must have flipped. .
11
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Actually, he gave the cop
a promotion. .
12
00:01:27,868 --> 00:01:30,000
Officer carney
made the rare leap
13
00:01:30,033 --> 00:01:32,434
from parking enforcement
to bomb squad. .
14
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:33,434
Hey. .
15
00:01:33,467 --> 00:01:35,467
How'd the weekend go with Mike? .
16
00:01:35,501 --> 00:01:36,767
You guys talk? .
17
00:01:36,801 --> 00:01:39,100
Yeah, and we decided
to just be friends. .
18
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,267
He's really busy
and after 6 months,
19
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:43,400
the long-distance thing
was too much.
20
00:01:43,434 --> 00:01:46,334
6 months? Damn!
Carter won the breakup poll. .
21
00:01:47,434 --> 00:01:48,634
I won? .
22
00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:49,634
Yes!
23
00:01:49,667 --> 00:01:51,300
I mean... aww.
24
00:01:51,334 --> 00:01:53,467
I can't believe
you guys organized a poll
25
00:01:53,501 --> 00:01:55,601
on when my relationship
would fall apart.
26
00:01:55,634 --> 00:01:58,133
I wouldn't say it's organized. .
27
00:01:58,167 --> 00:02:01,267
We just sort of
threw something together. .
28
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:02,701
You know what? .
29
00:02:02,734 --> 00:02:04,734
This doesn't bother me.
30
00:02:04,767 --> 00:02:07,934
I'm in a really good place
right now,
31
00:02:07,968 --> 00:02:09,734
and I'm ready to focus on me. .
32
00:02:09,767 --> 00:02:11,834
"Ready to focus on me." .
33
00:02:11,868 --> 00:02:13,167
That's mine. .
34
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:20,033
Hey, what's this? .
35
00:02:20,067 --> 00:02:22,400
Oh, I'm having a moving sale. .
36
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,634
See, since Claudia
entered the convent,
37
00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:27,734
I gotta move out.
Can I interest you in anything? .
38
00:02:27,767 --> 00:02:29,200
Thanks, Paul,
39
00:02:29,234 --> 00:02:33,634
but I'm really not in the market
for a half-used deodorant stick. .
40
00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:35,033
Hey...
41
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,601
Paul... .
42
00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:39,167
That's my suit! .
43
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,601
You specifically said,
"Paul, please take this." .
44
00:02:42,634 --> 00:02:44,734
To the cleaners.
45
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,267
Paul, this is an $800 suit! .
46
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:54,901
Which can be yours right now
for the low, low price of $150.
47
00:02:54,934 --> 00:02:56,934
I'll give you $125 for it. .
48
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:59,734
Done. .
49
00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:01,334
You snooze, you lose. .
50
00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:03,167
Sorry, man. .
51
00:03:06,267 --> 00:03:07,968
How did
the press conference go? .
52
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,901
They heard
about the parking incident
53
00:03:09,934 --> 00:03:12,601
and accused me of being
insensitive to the handicapped.
54
00:03:12,634 --> 00:03:13,801
I love the handicapped.
55
00:03:13,834 --> 00:03:15,701
I wish more people
were handicapped. .
56
00:03:15,734 --> 00:03:17,934
Well, what did you tell
the reporters? .
57
00:03:17,968 --> 00:03:21,000
It would have been easy for me
to sidestep the issue...
58
00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:23,634
you know, throw out
a few hollow platitudes...
59
00:03:23,667 --> 00:03:25,234
but I couldn't think of any. .
60
00:03:25,267 --> 00:03:27,100
So instead I promised to build
61
00:03:27,133 --> 00:03:29,434
a new wheelchair ramp
here at city hall. .
62
00:03:29,467 --> 00:03:30,601
Oh, Caitlin...
63
00:03:30,634 --> 00:03:33,033
I heard about your breakup. .
64
00:03:33,067 --> 00:03:37,167
Remember, it's always darkest
before the dawn. .
65
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,968
Thank you, sir. .
66
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,434
That's the kind of drivel
I could have used
67
00:03:41,467 --> 00:03:42,767
on the reporters. .
68
00:03:42,801 --> 00:03:43,968
Sorry.
69
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,601
Caitlin,
now that you're single,
70
00:03:46,634 --> 00:03:48,901
it's inevitable you'll slip up
71
00:03:48,934 --> 00:03:51,734
and have a few nights
of meaningless sex,
72
00:03:51,767 --> 00:03:53,067
and that's okay. .
73
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,467
You have needs
like anyone else. .
74
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:56,667
Thanks. .
75
00:03:56,701 --> 00:03:58,334
What's this? .
76
00:03:58,367 --> 00:04:00,968
My beeper number.
77
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,968
Caitlin,
don't listen to Stuart. .
78
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,968
You shouldn't start dating again
until you're ready. .
79
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,634
Carter's right. .
80
00:04:07,667 --> 00:04:09,701
You should wait...
81
00:04:09,734 --> 00:04:11,834
ideally, 6 or 7 weeks. .
82
00:04:11,868 --> 00:04:15,334
And, if you could have
a male child out of wedlock,
83
00:04:15,367 --> 00:04:17,000
I would be in fat city. .
84
00:04:18,901 --> 00:04:21,801
And if you could have twins,
I would own fat city. .
85
00:04:21,834 --> 00:04:22,968
Sorry, guys,
86
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,033
but for me
to get over a breakup,
87
00:04:25,067 --> 00:04:27,133
it takes me a minimum
of 6 months. .
88
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,367
The first 2 months,
89
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,534
I sulk and eat nothing
but fried foods. .
90
00:04:30,567 --> 00:04:31,868
Second 2 months,
91
00:04:31,901 --> 00:04:34,667
I watch Oprah and stuff my face
with chocolate. .
92
00:04:34,701 --> 00:04:36,234
And the last 2 months I...
93
00:04:36,267 --> 00:04:38,033
diet? .
94
00:04:38,067 --> 00:04:39,367
Guys...
95
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,767
I gotta talk to Caitlin. .
96
00:04:40,801 --> 00:04:42,234
All right, you heard him. .
97
00:04:42,267 --> 00:04:44,167
Heel-toe, people. No pouting. .
98
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,534
You too, Carter. .
99
00:04:45,567 --> 00:04:48,534
What a gyp! .
100
00:04:48,567 --> 00:04:51,734
You can't waste 6 months
feeling sorry for yourself. .
101
00:04:51,767 --> 00:04:53,634
Waste? I cherish this time. .
102
00:04:53,667 --> 00:04:55,200
Now, if you'll excuse me,
103
00:04:55,234 --> 00:04:57,501
I have to go deep-fry
a chef salad.
104
00:04:57,534 --> 00:04:58,801
Caitlin... .
105
00:04:58,834 --> 00:05:01,501
My grandmother once gave me
some great advice. .
106
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:04,701
She said, "Charlie, the only way
to mend a broken heart "
107
00:05:04,734 --> 00:05:07,200
is to go score yourself
a piece of tail." .
108
00:05:08,734 --> 00:05:12,467
My point is you can't sit around
and let life pass you by. .
109
00:05:12,501 --> 00:05:14,501
You need to get back out there. .
110
00:05:14,534 --> 00:05:15,901
What about that guy? .
111
00:05:15,934 --> 00:05:17,534
He's kind of cute. .
112
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,434
He's better than cute. .
113
00:05:19,467 --> 00:05:23,534
Look at those... Man features. .
114
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Ask him out.
115
00:05:24,767 --> 00:05:27,334
I can't go out
with some random guy. .
116
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:29,868
You overthink everything.
Be more spontaneous. .
117
00:05:29,901 --> 00:05:31,200
Hey, you... .
118
00:05:31,234 --> 00:05:32,734
Would you be interested
119
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:35,167
in going out
with this woman tonight? .
120
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,334
Sure. .
121
00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:37,934
My name's Lloyd.
122
00:05:37,968 --> 00:05:40,300
Caitlin. .
123
00:05:40,334 --> 00:05:42,634
Carmine's... 8:00?
124
00:05:42,667 --> 00:05:44,534
I'll be there. .
125
00:05:44,567 --> 00:05:46,100
Fantastic. .
126
00:05:47,701 --> 00:05:50,767
If I was a chick,
I would get so much action. .
127
00:05:53,501 --> 00:05:55,534
Where the hell's my ramp? .
128
00:05:55,567 --> 00:05:56,701
Sir, we just started. .
129
00:05:56,734 --> 00:05:58,901
My reputation is at stake here.
130
00:05:58,934 --> 00:06:03,701
I'm in danger of being labeled
the anti-handicapped mayor. .
131
00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:07,334
This ramp
must be finished aspca! .
132
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,300
Sir, we're taking
a coffee break. .
133
00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:11,534
Well, I guess
it's like they say...
134
00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:14,934
you want something done right,
you have to do it yourself. .
135
00:06:14,968 --> 00:06:17,467
Gentlemen, I am taking over
this project. .
136
00:06:17,501 --> 00:06:19,434
Okay. You're the boss. .
137
00:06:19,467 --> 00:06:20,601
All right. .
138
00:06:20,634 --> 00:06:21,868
First things first. .
139
00:06:21,901 --> 00:06:25,467
Who wants Starbucks? .
140
00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:28,634
Somebody circled an apartment
for rent in our building. .
141
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:30,767
It's right across the hall
from us. .
142
00:06:30,801 --> 00:06:33,934
Who would circle an apartment
for rent in our building?
143
00:06:33,968 --> 00:06:34,934
Paul! Paul! .
144
00:06:34,968 --> 00:06:36,567
Hey, guys, guess what? .
145
00:06:36,601 --> 00:06:40,033
There's an apartment for rent
right across the hall from you! .
146
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,501
We're gonna be neighbors! .
147
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,200
And with you living so close,
148
00:06:43,234 --> 00:06:45,367
I can splice
right into your cable! .
149
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:46,501
Didn't you hear? .
150
00:06:46,534 --> 00:06:48,701
It got snatched up
this morning. .
151
00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:50,133
We're so disappointed. .
152
00:06:50,167 --> 00:06:51,367
So, so disappointed. .
153
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,067
No, no, I just spoke to them. .
154
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:54,300
Who took it? .
155
00:06:54,334 --> 00:06:56,968
A young black woman.
An old white man. .
156
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:02,000
It was a young old
black white man woman.
157
00:07:08,701 --> 00:07:12,300
I'm so excited to finally be out
with a nice woman. .
158
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,667
I love this restaurant.
I love this knife.
159
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:16,968
I love non-dairy creamer.
160
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,968
Lloyd,
you're a very optimistic guy. .
161
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,634
Oh, I love optimism. .
162
00:07:20,667 --> 00:07:23,000
Some people say
that glass is half empty.
163
00:07:23,033 --> 00:07:24,367
I say it's a great day. .
164
00:07:26,634 --> 00:07:28,434
Half full. .
165
00:07:31,934 --> 00:07:33,567
You okay?
166
00:07:33,601 --> 00:07:35,167
I came out of a relationship
167
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,434
and all this
is a little weird for me. .
168
00:07:37,467 --> 00:07:39,501
Hey, weird can be good. .
169
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,767
I try to look for the positive
in everything. .
170
00:07:44,801 --> 00:07:46,267
You don't say? .
171
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:49,033
Without rain, I'd never
appreciate a sunny day. .
172
00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:51,767
Without sickness,
I'd never appreciate health. .
173
00:07:53,167 --> 00:07:55,100
Without scalding soup
on my thighs,
174
00:07:55,133 --> 00:07:57,267
I'd never appreciate
unburned skin. .
175
00:07:58,834 --> 00:08:00,701
Would you excuse me? .
176
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:08,968
Hi.
177
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,567
I was in the neighborhood.
178
00:08:10,601 --> 00:08:12,167
I just wanted to check in. .
179
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,300
How's it goin'? .
180
00:08:13,334 --> 00:08:15,968
This is the last time
I ever take advice
181
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,334
from you
or your horny grandmother! .
182
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:20,467
She prefers promiscuous. .
183
00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:24,334
At least you took a shot.
No big deal, right? .
184
00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:26,834
After this,
he wants to go out for coffee. .
185
00:08:26,868 --> 00:08:27,834
So? .
186
00:08:27,868 --> 00:08:29,434
He doesn't even like coffee. .
187
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,901
He only drinks it
so he can appreciate tea. .
188
00:08:31,934 --> 00:08:33,901
Here's how you lose the guy. .
189
00:08:33,934 --> 00:08:35,601
When you leave the restaurant,
190
00:08:35,634 --> 00:08:38,667
you get to a corner and say,
"hey, we can make this light." .
191
00:08:38,701 --> 00:08:40,834
Take a step forward,
give a head fake,
192
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,701
then step back. .
193
00:08:45,033 --> 00:08:47,534
Before he knows what hit him,
you're waving from a cab. .
194
00:08:47,567 --> 00:08:49,934
By midnight, you'll be
with Sheila your backup date
195
00:08:49,968 --> 00:08:51,901
on the business end
of a shiatsu massage. .
196
00:08:51,934 --> 00:08:54,033
That is the sickest thing
I have ever heard.
197
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,100
I would never do that. .
198
00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:56,968
Suit yourself. .
199
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,133
Let's go, Sheila. .
200
00:09:08,767 --> 00:09:14,100
Paul's desperate for a place
to live, but a college dorm? .
201
00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:15,100
Hey. .
202
00:09:15,133 --> 00:09:17,133
What's your major? .
203
00:09:24,534 --> 00:09:28,934
Mr. Carter, captain stubing,
come on in! .
204
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:30,467
Dudes, have a seat. .
205
00:09:30,501 --> 00:09:32,334
Man, this place is wild.
206
00:09:32,367 --> 00:09:36,100
I'd offer you beer,
but the floor is on probation. .
207
00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:40,734
Hey, stewpot, you want to finish
the last of the Mac and cheese?
208
00:09:40,767 --> 00:09:42,834
I'll pass, as much I'd love
209
00:09:42,868 --> 00:09:46,000
to stick a spoon you've licked
into my mouth.
210
00:09:46,033 --> 00:09:48,801
Paul, do you
really want to live in a dorm? .
211
00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:49,801
Yeah. .
212
00:09:49,834 --> 00:09:51,734
Don't take this the wrong way,
213
00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:54,501
but I look at you
and I think huge loser. .
214
00:09:54,534 --> 00:09:55,901
This place is great. .
215
00:09:55,934 --> 00:09:57,334
You audit one course,
216
00:09:57,367 --> 00:10:00,234
you get cheap housing,
free use of the gym,
217
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:03,534
and a pep rally
every Friday night.
218
00:10:03,567 --> 00:10:06,067
Paul, don't forget,
you came here to learn. .
219
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:07,133
Subir! .
220
00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:08,701
What's up, lassiter? .
221
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:11,100
Boys, this is my roommate,
subir. .
222
00:10:14,767 --> 00:10:16,334
Hey, you make that food run? .
223
00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:17,767
Yeah, I got everything. .
224
00:10:17,801 --> 00:10:19,467
Outstanding!
225
00:10:19,501 --> 00:10:21,834
I got the receipt right here. .
226
00:10:21,868 --> 00:10:24,734
It came to a grand total
of $110. .
227
00:10:24,767 --> 00:10:26,968
We'll split that
right down the middle.
228
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,067
55 big ones from each of you,
okay? .
229
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:31,767
Okay, great. Okay.
They're good for it. .
230
00:10:31,801 --> 00:10:33,000
Wow! .
231
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,234
That tea's
gonna be good tomorrow. .
232
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:37,367
Speaking of tomorrow,
I've got a big day.
233
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:38,701
I'm gonna head home. .
234
00:10:38,734 --> 00:10:40,033
Are you kidding? .
235
00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:41,367
The night is young! .
236
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,434
Hey, let's go
to the Brooklyn bridge
237
00:10:43,467 --> 00:10:45,267
and talk till the sun comes up!
238
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:47,634
I'm not gonna take no
for an answer. .
239
00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:51,534
Hey, I think
we can make this light. .
240
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,868
You know what I love
about crosswalks?
241
00:10:56,601 --> 00:10:58,801
Lloyd!
242
00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:00,901
Lloyd! .
243
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,634
I got your message. .
244
00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:09,667
How's Lloyd? .
245
00:11:09,701 --> 00:11:11,033
How do you think he is? .
246
00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:13,234
The horse dragged him
down fifth Avenue! .
247
00:11:13,267 --> 00:11:14,734
That's horrible. .
248
00:11:14,767 --> 00:11:17,300
That time of night,
you gotta take Lexington. .
249
00:11:17,334 --> 00:11:19,167
This is all your fault. .
250
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,334
How? .
251
00:11:20,367 --> 00:11:21,834
Give me one example. .
252
00:11:21,868 --> 00:11:23,601
You convinced me to date again! .
253
00:11:23,634 --> 00:11:24,767
You asked the guy out! .
254
00:11:24,801 --> 00:11:26,567
You gave me your step-off move!
255
00:11:26,601 --> 00:11:28,601
I said one. .
256
00:11:28,634 --> 00:11:30,834
Lloyd's gonna be okay. .
257
00:11:30,868 --> 00:11:33,601
For someone who's been
through this kind of trauma,
258
00:11:33,634 --> 00:11:36,267
he's really managed
to put a positive spin on it. .
259
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,200
He's asked
to see his girlfriend. .
260
00:11:38,234 --> 00:11:40,634
You can go in
whenever you want. .
261
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:41,868
Girlfriend?! .
262
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:44,100
We went on one lousy date!
263
00:11:44,133 --> 00:11:46,601
I gotta set this guy straight.
264
00:11:46,634 --> 00:11:48,300
I'll be right behind you. .
265
00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:54,968
You know, I didn't want to date
in the first place,
266
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,834
but you said, "what's the worst
thing that could happen?" .
267
00:11:57,868 --> 00:11:59,033
This is it. .
268
00:11:59,067 --> 00:12:01,100
Oh, come on. It could be worse. .
269
00:12:03,701 --> 00:12:05,567
Hi, Caitlin. .
270
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,367
Hi, honey. .
271
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:11,634
Told ya. .
272
00:12:15,033 --> 00:12:17,334
So the doctor
said Lloyd's gonna be fine,
273
00:12:17,367 --> 00:12:18,834
but Caitlin feels so guilty
274
00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:21,200
that she's stuck
being his personal nurse. .
275
00:12:21,234 --> 00:12:23,801
All because he got
brutally mangled by a horse. .
276
00:12:23,834 --> 00:12:25,133
Lucky bastard. .
277
00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:26,534
Hey, guys! .
278
00:12:26,567 --> 00:12:27,534
Hey, Paul. .
279
00:12:27,567 --> 00:12:28,968
How's dorm life? .
280
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,601
Couldn't be better!
281
00:12:34,234 --> 00:12:36,634
I'll see you guys later. .
282
00:12:38,167 --> 00:12:39,734
How's it going, Mr. mayor? .
283
00:12:39,767 --> 00:12:41,200
Oh, a-ok.
284
00:12:41,234 --> 00:12:45,000
I'm so glad I decided to go
hands-on with this project.
285
00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:48,000
I tell ya, there's nothing
like the pride a man feels
286
00:12:48,033 --> 00:12:50,801
when he's built something
with his own two hands. .
287
00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:52,634
Okay, son,
288
00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:54,868
I have a good feeling
about this one. .
289
00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:08,467
I spy... Something that begins
with the letter "c." .
290
00:13:08,501 --> 00:13:09,634
Ceiling. .
291
00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:11,267
Nope. .
292
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:14,267
It's something
you'd like to drink. .
293
00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:17,467
Cyanide. .
294
00:13:17,501 --> 00:13:18,734
No, a coke. .
295
00:13:18,767 --> 00:13:20,434
Ha! I win again.
296
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,934
I need some water. .
297
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,767
Oh, there's water here. .
298
00:13:23,801 --> 00:13:27,701
Other water. .
299
00:13:27,734 --> 00:13:29,601
Missed you this morning.
300
00:13:29,634 --> 00:13:33,200
Paul brought a pony keg
to the budget meeting. .
301
00:13:33,234 --> 00:13:36,767
You had to drink
every time you said deficit.
302
00:13:36,801 --> 00:13:39,767
I just played my 50th game
of I spy.
303
00:13:39,801 --> 00:13:41,901
I have been here all night! .
304
00:13:41,934 --> 00:13:43,868
You smell a little gamy. .
305
00:13:43,901 --> 00:13:46,934
You may want to get a nurse
to give you a sponge bath. .
306
00:13:46,968 --> 00:13:48,601
Would you excuse me a minute? .
307
00:13:50,834 --> 00:13:53,067
Go in there and tell him
you're my fianc. .
308
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,868
We've been on-again,
off-again,
309
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:57,234
and we just can't
stay away from each other. .
310
00:13:57,267 --> 00:13:58,234
Gotcha. .
311
00:13:58,267 --> 00:14:00,234
The sex was too good. .
312
00:14:00,267 --> 00:14:03,534
Get in there! .
313
00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:08,501
Hi, Lloyd, I'm Charlie. .
314
00:14:08,534 --> 00:14:09,801
One second.
315
00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:14,234
I just need to finish
my stretching exercises. .
316
00:14:16,434 --> 00:14:17,634
Oh, yeah!
317
00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:18,734
I'm not a doctor,
318
00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:20,901
but maybe
you should stop doing that. .
319
00:14:22,267 --> 00:14:23,634
We need to talk about Caitlin. .
320
00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:25,267
She's an amazing woman. .
321
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:28,667
When those horses hit me,
I thought I was a goner. .
322
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:32,133
But as I was being dragged
past rockefeller center,
323
00:14:32,167 --> 00:14:35,000
all I could picture
was her smiling face.
324
00:14:35,033 --> 00:14:37,801
I tell you, she's the only thing
keeping me going. .
325
00:14:37,834 --> 00:14:39,701
How do you guys
know each other? .
326
00:14:39,734 --> 00:14:42,467
We're cousins. .
327
00:14:42,501 --> 00:14:48,100
One of her parents has a sibling
who's my father... or mother. .
328
00:14:48,133 --> 00:14:49,901
Hey. Hey, Caitlin. .
329
00:14:49,934 --> 00:14:52,734
Charlie's just giving me
the rundown on you guys. .
330
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:55,501
Yup, we've had
our ups and downs,
331
00:14:55,534 --> 00:14:58,434
but I can't resist him,
sexy devil. .
332
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,100
I thought you were cousins. .
333
00:15:04,133 --> 00:15:05,834
We're very close. .
334
00:15:05,868 --> 00:15:07,467
Come here, cuz. .
335
00:15:08,901 --> 00:15:11,467
Well, I better get a move on... .
336
00:15:11,501 --> 00:15:14,601
But I have a good feeling
about you two.
337
00:15:14,634 --> 00:15:17,868
I spy a cute couple. .
338
00:15:22,467 --> 00:15:23,767
Here he is. .
339
00:15:23,801 --> 00:15:27,467
Living in that dorm
is killing Paul. .
340
00:15:28,901 --> 00:15:30,234
He's out cold. .
341
00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:33,300
No sense letting that pudding
go to waste. .
342
00:15:36,033 --> 00:15:37,334
What's goin' on?
343
00:15:37,367 --> 00:15:39,868
Paul,
you need a new place to live. .
344
00:15:39,901 --> 00:15:41,033
No way. .
345
00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:43,634
Mcleary house rocks. .
346
00:15:43,667 --> 00:15:45,667
We know somebody
right here in city hall
347
00:15:45,701 --> 00:15:47,100
who's looking for a roommate. .
348
00:15:47,133 --> 00:15:48,200
Who?
349
00:15:48,234 --> 00:15:49,567
Larry from the mail-room. .
350
00:15:49,601 --> 00:15:51,067
You mean "kung fu" Larry? .
351
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:52,200
That guy's crazy. .
352
00:15:52,234 --> 00:15:53,968
You want me to live with him? .
353
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,501
We're just trying to help. .
354
00:15:55,534 --> 00:15:58,033
Oh. All of a sudden
you're my friends, huh? .
355
00:15:58,067 --> 00:16:00,868
You weren't so friendly
when you were lying to me
356
00:16:00,901 --> 00:16:02,934
about that apartment
in your building.
357
00:16:02,968 --> 00:16:04,367
I spoke to your landlord. .
358
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,734
He said that apartment
was never rented. .
359
00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:08,267
Uh, I don't know what to say.
360
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,634
I'll tell you this much. .
361
00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:12,367
The guys in the dorm,
they may steal my food,
362
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,534
put shaving cream
in my briefcase,
363
00:16:14,567 --> 00:16:17,300
and write "spank me"
on all my press releases,
364
00:16:17,334 --> 00:16:19,067
but at least they include me. .
365
00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:25,667
Actually... .
366
00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:29,968
The "spank me" thing was mine. .
367
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,434
Cousins! .
368
00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:32,701
What the hell was that?!
369
00:16:32,734 --> 00:16:34,567
I'm sorry.
I felt bad for the guy. .
370
00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:36,968
And did you have to let me
make out with you? .
371
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,234
Probably not. .
372
00:16:39,267 --> 00:16:40,767
Now what do we do? .
373
00:16:40,801 --> 00:16:44,267
My parents are out of town
for the weekend. .
374
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,634
Lloyd's on his way over
from the hospital. .
375
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:47,801
He's being released. .
376
00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:49,501
He's healing? .
377
00:16:49,534 --> 00:16:50,734
Damn it! .
378
00:16:50,767 --> 00:16:52,701
We ran the guy over
with a horse. .
379
00:16:52,734 --> 00:16:55,367
You'd think that would buy us
a couple of weeks. .
380
00:16:56,801 --> 00:16:57,868
All right, that's it. .
381
00:16:57,901 --> 00:16:59,300
You gotta break up with him.
382
00:16:59,334 --> 00:17:01,234
I can't. .
383
00:17:01,267 --> 00:17:03,200
Why not?
384
00:17:03,234 --> 00:17:04,767
I can't stand hurting people.
385
00:17:04,801 --> 00:17:07,133
I like to wait for guys
to break up with me. .
386
00:17:07,167 --> 00:17:09,767
There's only one flaw
in that plan. .
387
00:17:09,801 --> 00:17:11,300
You're insanely hot.
388
00:17:12,467 --> 00:17:13,634
Caitlin, look...
389
00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:15,934
I'm afraid
of getting into relationships,
390
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:17,501
you're afraid of getting out. .
391
00:17:17,534 --> 00:17:19,834
Neither one of us is gonna meet
the right person
392
00:17:19,868 --> 00:17:21,000
unless we get over it. .
393
00:17:21,033 --> 00:17:22,167
You know what? .
394
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,434
You're right. .
395
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:25,968
Let's go out there
and meet him head-on.
396
00:17:34,434 --> 00:17:37,334
Paul, can we talk?
397
00:17:37,367 --> 00:17:38,868
I don't think so. .
398
00:17:38,901 --> 00:17:40,534
We brought a pizza. .
399
00:17:40,567 --> 00:17:42,300
What's on your mind?
400
00:17:45,234 --> 00:17:49,367
Paul... We just wanted to say
we're sorry. .
401
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,934
Right, Stuart? .
402
00:17:50,968 --> 00:17:52,801
Yeah, we're sorry. Whatever. .
403
00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:54,834
The apartment's
still available. .
404
00:17:54,868 --> 00:17:57,267
We'd love to have you
for our neighbor.
405
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,234
Stuart! .
406
00:18:00,267 --> 00:18:04,601
Yeah, you'd be
a breath of fresh air. .
407
00:18:04,634 --> 00:18:07,534
You give me one good reason why
you want me to be your neighbor. .
408
00:18:07,567 --> 00:18:09,701
The thing is, uh...
409
00:18:09,734 --> 00:18:11,033
because... .
410
00:18:11,067 --> 00:18:14,767
Even though we pick on you,
you're our friend,
411
00:18:14,801 --> 00:18:17,167
and we like having you around. .
412
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,667
Go on. .
413
00:18:19,701 --> 00:18:23,033
And you make me laugh. .
414
00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:25,767
You're a fun guy. .
415
00:18:25,801 --> 00:18:27,701
And? .
416
00:18:27,734 --> 00:18:29,367
And... .
417
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,367
If you make me
say one more word,
418
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,467
I'm gonna beat you
with your hot plate. .
419
00:18:33,501 --> 00:18:36,334
All right, all right.
Stop groveling. I'll do it. .
420
00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:37,334
Great! .
421
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,634
Hold on, hold on. .
422
00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:40,234
Give me a minute, okay? .
423
00:18:40,267 --> 00:18:43,000
This is
really like my transition... .
424
00:18:43,033 --> 00:18:45,467
From my old life to my new one. .
425
00:18:45,501 --> 00:18:48,667
This little place
has really been special to me. .
426
00:18:48,701 --> 00:18:51,901
Hey, guys,
let's shave lassiter's eyebrows. .
427
00:18:51,934 --> 00:18:53,767
Okay, that's enough. .
428
00:18:58,901 --> 00:19:02,300
Guys... Lloyd is on his way up.
429
00:19:02,334 --> 00:19:04,968
Charlie, I don't think
I can go through with this. .
430
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,501
You break up with him. .
431
00:19:06,534 --> 00:19:08,701
My stuff doesn't work on guys,
only women. .
432
00:19:10,133 --> 00:19:12,601
It's like how Spock couldn't use
the vulcan mind probe
433
00:19:12,634 --> 00:19:13,968
on other vulcans. .
434
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,767
Okay, that doesn't leave
this room.
435
00:19:17,801 --> 00:19:19,567
I'm sorry,
but I just can't crush a guy
436
00:19:19,601 --> 00:19:21,267
the day he gets out
of the hospital. .
437
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:23,534
Come on, Caitlin.
Doesn't it drive you nuts
438
00:19:23,567 --> 00:19:25,934
the way Lloyd is so positive
about everything? .
439
00:19:25,968 --> 00:19:29,067
No, Charlie, I happen to be a
little more tolerant of people. .
440
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,367
Hey, guys. .
441
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,100
Great day. .
442
00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:34,601
The sun is shining.
The birds are singing. .
443
00:19:34,634 --> 00:19:36,067
Oh, put a cork in it. .
444
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,501
What now? .
445
00:19:38,534 --> 00:19:39,834
Go with it. .
446
00:19:39,868 --> 00:19:42,100
It's a safe bet
he'll take it well.
447
00:19:42,133 --> 00:19:45,567
Lloyd, it's nothing personal,
but I can't see you anymore. .
448
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,901
Oh, God, no. .
449
00:19:48,934 --> 00:19:52,234
This is the worst thing
that's ever happened to me! .
450
00:19:52,267 --> 00:19:54,400
This is why I don't gamble. .
451
00:19:54,434 --> 00:19:58,200
Um, look, Lloyd, I...
I'm sorry, but it's over.
452
00:19:58,234 --> 00:19:59,667
I don't want to hurt you,
453
00:19:59,701 --> 00:20:04,234
but I'm just not ready to be
in a relationship right now,
454
00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:06,434
I mean, you know, with you. .
455
00:20:06,467 --> 00:20:09,234
Okay. Better to have loved
and lost, right? .
456
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,167
At least I still have Charlie. .
457
00:20:15,167 --> 00:20:16,300
Okay. .
458
00:20:16,334 --> 00:20:18,133
Take care, guys. .
459
00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:20,534
The ramp is finished,
the press is off my back,
460
00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:22,400
you're looking
at the newest friend
461
00:20:22,434 --> 00:20:24,767
of the physically challenged. .
462
00:20:24,801 --> 00:20:26,367
Oh, sweet, a gimp. .
463
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,968
Care to give it a test drive,
son? .
464
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,334
Love to. .
465
00:20:32,801 --> 00:20:35,000
I can't believe I did that! .
466
00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:36,767
What a relief! .
467
00:20:36,801 --> 00:20:40,834
And thanks to you, I might be
ready to start dating again. .
468
00:20:40,868 --> 00:20:43,434
And thanks to you, I'm...
469
00:20:43,467 --> 00:20:45,834
I'm still the same guy. .
470
00:20:45,868 --> 00:20:47,734
Come on. I'll buy you a drink. .
471
00:20:47,767 --> 00:20:50,400
Do you want to take
the elevator or the ramp? .
472
00:20:50,434 --> 00:20:52,868
Let's try the ramp. .
473
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:56,567
Ow, my leg!
474
00:20:56,601 --> 00:20:57,901
Caitlin!
475
00:20:57,934 --> 00:20:59,200
Charlie! .
476
00:20:59,234 --> 00:21:01,701
Elevator. .
477
00:21:05,167 --> 00:21:09,501
And then Stuart, if you'd give
it a little nudge at the top,
478
00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:12,968
I think we'll be able to...
to do it, I think. .
479
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,067
Okay, okay, that's perfect.
That's good. .
480
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:18,801
That does it.
You're all moved in. .
481
00:21:18,834 --> 00:21:20,834
We're officially neighbors. .
482
00:21:20,868 --> 00:21:22,601
This is gonna be great! .
483
00:21:22,634 --> 00:21:24,267
Yeah, we are blessed. .
484
00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,968
Ooh, I've got to set up
my cable. .
485
00:21:29,634 --> 00:21:32,100
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
34342
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