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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:00:02,033 --> 00:00:04,467
Caitlin, Samantha called.
She's on her way up.
2
00:00:04,501 --> 00:00:06,267
Thanks, Angie. Who's Samantha? .
3
00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,334
A friend from my yoga class. .
4
00:00:09,367 --> 00:00:12,667
You never mentioned her.
Are you hiding her from me? .
5
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:16,868
You're hiding her from me.
6
00:00:16,901 --> 00:00:19,434
Sam is not your type.
She's smart. .
7
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:23,367
Right... not attractive. .
8
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:24,868
And funny. .
9
00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:27,000
Gotcha... big girl. .
10
00:00:30,601 --> 00:00:32,067
Hey, Caitlin. .
11
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:33,334
Oh, Sam! .
12
00:00:38,067 --> 00:00:39,167
Oh, yeah. .
13
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,334
Uh, Sam, this is a guy
I work with. .
14
00:00:41,367 --> 00:00:43,434
Guy I work with... Sam.
15
00:00:43,467 --> 00:00:45,968
Charlie Crawford.
Nice to meet you. .
16
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,234
Yeah, nice to meet you. .
17
00:00:47,267 --> 00:00:49,634
You're definitely not
as smart and funny
18
00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:51,234
as Caitlin said you looked. .
19
00:00:51,267 --> 00:00:52,434
Thank you. .
20
00:00:52,467 --> 00:00:54,801
You're not so smart and funny
yourself. .
21
00:00:55,801 --> 00:00:57,734
So, you met at yoga? .
22
00:00:57,767 --> 00:01:00,100
Yeah, I was in the middle
of a sun salutation
23
00:01:00,133 --> 00:01:02,167
when I spotted Caitlin
in bridge pose. .
24
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,334
Maybe you gals
would like to demonstrate.
25
00:01:05,367 --> 00:01:08,567
Charlie, can I see you
in your office for a second? .
26
00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:09,868
Be right back.
27
00:01:09,901 --> 00:01:11,100
I saw that! .
28
00:01:11,133 --> 00:01:12,200
Saw what? .
29
00:01:12,234 --> 00:01:14,567
The old "nice to meet you." .
30
00:01:14,601 --> 00:01:16,501
Yeah, that was pretty rude. .
31
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:19,667
Look, since I moved to New York,
I have been so busy working,
32
00:01:19,701 --> 00:01:22,200
I haven't had time
to make one good girlfriend.
33
00:01:22,234 --> 00:01:24,467
Sam and I got along
right from the start,
34
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,334
and I don't want you
ruining it. .
35
00:01:26,367 --> 00:01:28,200
All I said was
"nice to meet you."
36
00:01:29,334 --> 00:01:31,167
Caitlin, we better get going. .
37
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,801
Nice to meet you, Charlie. .
38
00:01:32,834 --> 00:01:34,400
My pleasure. .
39
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,701
Cut it out! .
40
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,467
How would you like an
all-expense-paid vacation
41
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:07,834
to new Orleans? .
42
00:02:07,868 --> 00:02:10,601
You'll spend three days
and two jazz-filled nights
43
00:02:10,634 --> 00:02:12,334
in luxury at the
four seasons hotel...
44
00:02:12,367 --> 00:02:15,801
sir, I am not buying
any more magazine subscriptions
45
00:02:15,834 --> 00:02:16,968
from your nephew. .
46
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,033
No, no, no. .
47
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:19,667
This is the mayor's convention. .
48
00:02:19,701 --> 00:02:20,934
This year,
49
00:02:20,968 --> 00:02:23,968
we're discussing social
isolation in the inner city. .
50
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,701
Then it's off to the golf course
before we're too drunk to drive.
51
00:02:27,734 --> 00:02:29,968
I should probably stay here
and hold down the fort,
52
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,601
as much as I'd love to caddy
for a bunch of blitzed mayors.
53
00:02:32,634 --> 00:02:34,434
Caitlin, how would
you like that? .
54
00:02:34,467 --> 00:02:35,868
Oh, sorry, sir,
55
00:02:35,901 --> 00:02:38,200
I have important plans
with a friend this weekend. .
56
00:02:38,234 --> 00:02:40,567
But this could be
such a fun time. .
57
00:02:40,601 --> 00:02:43,267
Who can I get to go
on such short notice?
58
00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:44,501
Carter! .
59
00:02:44,534 --> 00:02:45,567
Yes. .
60
00:02:45,601 --> 00:02:48,367
Help me choose someone. .
61
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,234
My schedule is wide open, sir. .
62
00:02:50,267 --> 00:02:52,934
Excellent.
You can feed my cats. .
63
00:02:54,801 --> 00:02:56,934
I can't believe
I'm saying this,
64
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,667
but I actually feel slighted. .
65
00:02:58,701 --> 00:03:00,200
Sorry I'm late. What'd I miss? .
66
00:03:00,234 --> 00:03:02,067
Oh, Carter's pouting
because the mayor
67
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,567
didn't invite him to
the conference in new Orleans. .
68
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,400
The big easy, huh?
Who's he taking? .
69
00:03:06,434 --> 00:03:09,567
He asked Caitlin and Charlie,
but neither of them can go. .
70
00:03:09,601 --> 00:03:12,234
An empty slot, huh? .
71
00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:14,734
Finally... a chance
for advancement. .
72
00:03:14,767 --> 00:03:18,534
So I guess he's gonna have to
choose between one of us, huh?
73
00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:21,167
I guess it all comes down
to who's the biggest suck-up.
74
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,901
Paul, believe me,
75
00:03:22,934 --> 00:03:26,400
sucking up
never gets you anywhere. .
76
00:03:26,434 --> 00:03:28,467
Yeah, yeah, you're right. .
77
00:03:28,501 --> 00:03:31,367
Whoa, Carter.
Man, you been working out? .
78
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:32,601
As a matter of fact, I have. .
79
00:03:32,634 --> 00:03:36,367
Aaaah! You guys are toast!
80
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,167
Charlie, I want to apologize.
81
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,200
I may have gone a little
overboard before about Sam. .
82
00:03:41,234 --> 00:03:42,901
No problem.
83
00:03:42,934 --> 00:03:45,601
I know how you work...
you'll hook up with Sam,
84
00:03:45,634 --> 00:03:48,834
leave before the sun comes up,
and never call her again. .
85
00:03:48,868 --> 00:03:52,167
Then she'll be mad at you
and, by association, mad at me. .
86
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,567
Was that the apology? .
87
00:03:55,968 --> 00:03:59,300
Because after "sorry,"
things went terribly awry.
88
00:03:59,334 --> 00:04:02,200
I have been down this road
before, and it's a mess.
89
00:04:02,234 --> 00:04:03,567
I can see it coming. .
90
00:04:03,601 --> 00:04:06,300
"Did Charlie ask about me?"
"Did he get my messages?" .
91
00:04:06,334 --> 00:04:07,934
And then I'm covering for you. .
92
00:04:07,968 --> 00:04:10,567
"He's in Bermuda."
"He's in a coma." .
93
00:04:10,601 --> 00:04:12,634
Then she's mad at me for lying. .
94
00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:14,234
We are not friends anymore,
95
00:04:14,267 --> 00:04:16,734
you two get back together,
and I'm the bad guy. .
96
00:04:16,767 --> 00:04:19,167
No, thanks, Charlie!
I don't want any part of it! .
97
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,067
Apology accepted.
98
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:24,367
I can't believe
the mayor hasn't asked me. .
99
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,734
Oh, I've always wanted
to go to new Orleans. .
100
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:29,200
It's a city where women
get topless for beads. .
101
00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:32,734
A guy shouldn't go
if he'd rather have the beads. .
102
00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:34,567
Gentlemen. .
103
00:04:34,601 --> 00:04:37,200
Mr. mayor, as your head
of minority affairs,
104
00:04:37,234 --> 00:04:39,300
my presence in new Orleans
would give voice
105
00:04:39,334 --> 00:04:41,400
to the diverse members
of your constituency. .
106
00:04:41,434 --> 00:04:44,200
Mr. mayor, with all due respect
to my boring, gay colleague,
107
00:04:44,234 --> 00:04:46,734
I should be the one
to go to the conference. .
108
00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:48,534
As assistant deputy mayor,
109
00:04:48,567 --> 00:04:51,667
it's important for me
to... lnterface and, uh... .
110
00:04:51,701 --> 00:04:54,100
Ah, I just want to see
the boobies. .
111
00:04:54,133 --> 00:04:55,934
You both make strong cases. .
112
00:04:55,968 --> 00:04:57,133
What about Paul? .
113
00:04:57,167 --> 00:04:58,734
Don't worry about Paul. .
114
00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:01,267
He's not interested
in new Orleans. .
115
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:03,133
And there you have it, folks. .
116
00:05:03,167 --> 00:05:05,634
Wham, bam, cajun, ma'am. .
117
00:05:12,534 --> 00:05:14,601
Hi, Sam. .
118
00:05:16,367 --> 00:05:18,033
What are you doing here?! .
119
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:19,868
Cool your chakras, Caitlin. .
120
00:05:21,334 --> 00:05:26,234
I was invited by your
very flexible friend over there. .
121
00:05:26,267 --> 00:05:28,968
Mind if I squeeze in here? .
122
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,734
This is a yoga class,
not a pickup bar. .
123
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:34,334
People come here in pursuit
of peace and tranquility. .
124
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,901
If you think this little stunt
is gonna impress Sam,
125
00:05:36,934 --> 00:05:39,000
you're about to be
seriously embarrassed. .
126
00:05:39,033 --> 00:05:41,734
Yoga takes years to master. .
127
00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:44,534
Uhhh! .
128
00:05:44,567 --> 00:05:46,000
Nice form, Charlie. .
129
00:05:46,033 --> 00:05:49,534
Thanks. .
130
00:05:49,567 --> 00:05:52,367
Have you been doing yoga
behind my back? .
131
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,067
It's just instinct...
like a mother who can lift a car
132
00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:57,000
to save the baby
trapped underneath. .
133
00:05:57,033 --> 00:06:00,667
So you suddenly become a yoga
savant to impress a woman?
134
00:06:00,701 --> 00:06:03,734
I once learned Swedish
on a transatlantic flight
135
00:06:03,767 --> 00:06:06,100
just to get
a model's phone number. .
136
00:06:14,267 --> 00:06:15,868
Did it work? .
137
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:27,133
What are the odds? .
138
00:06:35,767 --> 00:06:37,968
I have put together
a list of questions
139
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,467
that will help me determine
140
00:06:39,501 --> 00:06:42,234
which of you will be
my ideal traveling companion. .
141
00:06:42,267 --> 00:06:46,167
What's the first thing you do
when we arrive in new Orleans?
142
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,868
I've taken the liberty
of mapping out a walking tour
143
00:06:48,901 --> 00:06:50,734
that takes us past
certain cultural
144
00:06:50,767 --> 00:06:52,534
and historic points
of interest.
145
00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:54,234
Spectravision.
146
00:06:54,267 --> 00:06:57,200
I'm Clay, sir. Mold me. .
147
00:06:57,234 --> 00:07:00,367
The convention's over, and we've
got the whole night ahead of us. .
148
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,701
What would you do? .
149
00:07:01,734 --> 00:07:04,467
The great author mark twain
once wrote of new Orleans...
150
00:07:04,501 --> 00:07:06,434
Spectravision.
151
00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:07,901
I would buy you shrimp. .
152
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,367
That's it for today. .
153
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,133
And remember,
breathing is the key to life. .
154
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,434
Hey, don't short-sell
heavy panting. .
155
00:07:18,834 --> 00:07:20,901
Well, this was really fun. .
156
00:07:20,934 --> 00:07:23,501
Hey, Charlie, you want to share
a cab downtown? .
157
00:07:23,534 --> 00:07:26,400
He lives uptown... 86 blocks
in the opposite direction. .
158
00:07:26,434 --> 00:07:27,801
Oh. .
159
00:07:27,834 --> 00:07:31,434
Well, then, uh, I could just
drop you off on the way.
160
00:07:31,467 --> 00:07:32,901
I don't know if I should...
161
00:07:32,934 --> 00:07:35,234
oh, come on. Okay. .
162
00:07:35,267 --> 00:07:36,667
Okay.
163
00:07:36,701 --> 00:07:37,801
I'll meet you out front. .
164
00:07:37,834 --> 00:07:39,601
Later. .
165
00:07:41,234 --> 00:07:43,167
Why are you ruining
my friendship?! .
166
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,267
We're just sharing a cab. .
167
00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:47,033
Ohh! .
168
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:50,501
We both know you can't just
share a cab with a woman.
169
00:07:50,534 --> 00:07:52,801
I know how much
Sam's friendship means to you.
170
00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:55,067
I would never do anything
to jeopardize that. .
171
00:08:02,534 --> 00:08:05,267
Caitlin's going to kill me. .
172
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:08,334
Okay, I'd better tryto stay the night.
173
00:08:08,367 --> 00:08:10,701
I can do this. .
174
00:08:10,734 --> 00:08:14,200
One Mississippi,two Mississippi,
175
00:08:14,234 --> 00:08:15,934
three Mississippi. .
176
00:08:15,968 --> 00:08:17,801
Okay, time to go.
177
00:08:17,834 --> 00:08:19,667
I need an excuse.
178
00:08:19,701 --> 00:08:22,601
I'll just give her the old"I got an early meeting." .
179
00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:24,467
That always works. .
180
00:08:27,267 --> 00:08:29,234
God, she's so beautiful. .
181
00:08:29,267 --> 00:08:31,601
And I really enjoyedtalking to her tonight. .
182
00:08:31,634 --> 00:08:34,133
Actually, this is pretty niceright now. .
183
00:08:34,167 --> 00:08:35,801
Oh, my God.
184
00:08:35,834 --> 00:08:38,334
I think I'm cuddling. .
185
00:08:38,367 --> 00:08:41,000
Maybe I do want to staythe night.
186
00:08:41,033 --> 00:08:42,567
Charlie? .
187
00:08:42,601 --> 00:08:46,367
Here comes round two. .
188
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,000
Yes?
189
00:08:48,033 --> 00:08:53,667
I've got an early meeting.
Mind if I call you a cab? .
190
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:56,467
A cab? Sure, I guess. .
191
00:08:56,501 --> 00:08:58,767
Okay, just tell heryou'll give her a call.
192
00:08:58,801 --> 00:09:01,534
I'll give you a call. .
193
00:09:01,567 --> 00:09:04,667
What the hell's going on here?
194
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,934
Stuart! Can I ask you
a question about women? .
195
00:09:15,968 --> 00:09:17,734
You? .
196
00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:20,701
Ask me about women? .
197
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,901
It'd be an honor. .
198
00:09:22,934 --> 00:09:25,234
You get dumped a lot, right? .
199
00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:27,634
Constantly. .
200
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,634
How does that usually work? .
201
00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:35,200
Well, there's
the drink in the face... .
202
00:09:35,234 --> 00:09:37,100
The slap in the face...
203
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:42,133
the whole abuse
of the face area. .
204
00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:44,868
And then there's the...
205
00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:47,367
wait. Why do you ask? .
206
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,067
Last night, I went out
with Caitlin's friend Sam. .
207
00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:51,300
Tell me everything. .
208
00:09:51,334 --> 00:09:52,534
Leave out no detail
209
00:09:52,567 --> 00:09:54,868
and feel free
to make some stuff up. .
210
00:09:54,901 --> 00:09:57,400
Let's just say we had
a pleasant evening,
211
00:09:57,434 --> 00:10:00,100
and I was home in time
to watch "nightline." .
212
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,667
Ooh, the quick getaway. .
213
00:10:02,701 --> 00:10:04,601
Tsk! .
214
00:10:04,634 --> 00:10:09,300
Which escape line did you use,
the old "morning meeting"? .
215
00:10:09,334 --> 00:10:11,567
Actually, she had
the morning meeting. .
216
00:10:13,701 --> 00:10:16,000
She told you
she had a morning meeting? .
217
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:18,267
People have morning meetings
all the time. .
218
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:21,601
Sure they do, buddy.
219
00:10:21,634 --> 00:10:23,100
Stuart, it's not like that.
220
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:25,234
I think we really made
a connection.
221
00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:28,868
I'm sure that's what she's
talking about at her "meeting." .
222
00:10:28,901 --> 00:10:32,334
Okay... What happened
with Sam last night? .
223
00:10:32,367 --> 00:10:33,901
Well, I... .
224
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:36,801
You slept with her! .
225
00:10:36,834 --> 00:10:40,734
Oh, I don't believe it.
He slept with my friend. .
226
00:10:40,767 --> 00:10:44,000
Then you should sleep
with one of his friends. .
227
00:10:44,033 --> 00:10:46,734
Or better yet,
an adorable co-worker.
228
00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:49,300
Caitlin, it's not
what you think. .
229
00:10:49,334 --> 00:10:51,067
Yes. .
230
00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:54,601
Sam had a morning meeting. .
231
00:10:55,634 --> 00:10:57,934
Oh, my God! .
232
00:10:57,968 --> 00:11:00,100
You got blown off!
233
00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:02,667
I did not get blown off. .
234
00:11:02,701 --> 00:11:05,767
Who got blown off?
235
00:11:05,801 --> 00:11:08,000
Charlie. Charlie. .
236
00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:11,467
Tell them there's such a thing
as a morning meeting.
237
00:11:14,734 --> 00:11:17,400
Charlie, you're
embarrassing yourself. .
238
00:11:22,133 --> 00:11:24,234
Hi, this is Sam.Leave a message. .
239
00:11:25,334 --> 00:11:27,167
Hi, Sam, it's Charlie again. .
240
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,734
Just curious
if you got my other messages.
241
00:11:29,767 --> 00:11:32,400
I had a great time
the other night, and I... .
242
00:11:32,434 --> 00:11:33,734
Hello? .
243
00:11:33,767 --> 00:11:35,534
Mr. mayor, you're on my line.
244
00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:37,400
I'm trying to leave a message. .
245
00:11:37,434 --> 00:11:41,367
For who,
that woman who blew you off? .
246
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,601
Sir! .
247
00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:45,200
Hey, how was
her "morning meeting"? .
248
00:11:45,234 --> 00:11:46,400
Heh heh.
249
00:11:47,767 --> 00:11:49,467
Sam, let me explain
about that...
250
00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:52,667
Caitlin... .
251
00:11:52,701 --> 00:11:54,667
Have you talked to Sam today? .
252
00:11:54,701 --> 00:11:57,467
Yeah, I, uh, I talked to her
10 minutes ago. .
253
00:11:57,501 --> 00:12:00,100
She's screening me.
That is so high school. .
254
00:12:00,133 --> 00:12:02,334
There's only one way
to handle this. .
255
00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:03,868
You call and ask for her,
256
00:12:03,901 --> 00:12:06,133
then quickly hand the phone
back to me. .
257
00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:09,834
Okay, but what if
her mom answers? .
258
00:12:09,868 --> 00:12:12,000
What kind of person
takes someone home,
259
00:12:12,033 --> 00:12:13,300
has their way with them,
260
00:12:13,334 --> 00:12:15,501
then doesn't have the courtesy
to pick up a phone? .
261
00:12:17,834 --> 00:12:20,901
What kind of female person?
262
00:12:20,934 --> 00:12:23,400
I told you... I don't want
to get in the middle. .
263
00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:24,400
Why not? .
264
00:12:24,434 --> 00:12:25,734
Because Sam is my friend. .
265
00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:27,634
There's probably
50 women you can call
266
00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:29,434
that would go out with you
tonight. .
267
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:32,367
The point isn't
how many women I could call,
268
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,934
or the fact
that it's closer to 100. .
269
00:12:36,968 --> 00:12:40,000
It's that I feel like I might
have something special with Sam. .
270
00:12:40,033 --> 00:12:41,267
Fine. .
271
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,701
We're going out to dinner.
What do you want me to do? .
272
00:12:43,734 --> 00:12:45,167
Talk me up a little bit. .
273
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:48,167
All she knows is I work
at city hall, I'm good at yoga,
274
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,934
and I can hold the arching
lotus for half an hour. .
275
00:12:50,968 --> 00:12:52,501
You already mentioned yoga. .
276
00:12:52,534 --> 00:12:54,133
That's not yoga. .
277
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,734
When you're done talking me up,
278
00:12:57,767 --> 00:12:59,534
I'll accidentally run into you. .
279
00:12:59,567 --> 00:13:02,200
You fake a stomachache,
then I'll tell her how I feel. .
280
00:13:02,234 --> 00:13:04,868
Next, you'll have me
lure her into my bed,
281
00:13:04,901 --> 00:13:07,000
and then you'll ask me
to leave.
282
00:13:07,033 --> 00:13:08,267
Caitlin!
283
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:10,534
I would never ask you to leave.
284
00:13:13,567 --> 00:13:15,701
Stuart was eliminated
from the competition. .
285
00:13:15,734 --> 00:13:17,067
What happened? .
286
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,167
The mayor didn't like
his essay...
287
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,968
"things and people
I want to do in new Orleans." .
288
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,000
It's just down to you and me
for the final interview. .
289
00:13:25,033 --> 00:13:26,934
Yeah, I guess it is. .
290
00:13:26,968 --> 00:13:29,167
So don't bother showing up... .
291
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,667
Unless you feel like
getting your ass kicked! .
292
00:13:32,701 --> 00:13:35,701
Oh, yeah, I guess
I better not show up. .
293
00:13:35,734 --> 00:13:37,334
Yeah, you shouldn't show up.
294
00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:39,801
'Cause if you do,
you're gonna get a beatdown! .
295
00:13:39,834 --> 00:13:43,267
Yeah, you're right about that.
296
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:46,000
Paul, you're ruining
my megaphone trash talk. .
297
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,734
Why aren't you fighting back?
298
00:13:47,767 --> 00:13:51,501
Carter, whenever I get close
to winning something,
299
00:13:51,534 --> 00:13:53,133
I blow it.
300
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:55,200
I used to be a winner. .
301
00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:57,100
Then it happened. .
302
00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:58,901
For the win, "avocado." .
303
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:02,300
Panic auditory shutdown...
304
00:14:02,334 --> 00:14:05,267
otherwise knownas hysterical deafness. .
305
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:08,167
Could you use it in a sentence? .
306
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:12,367
Uh, could I hear the Latin root
of the word, please? .
307
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:16,567
Under intense competition,I lose my hearing completely. .
308
00:14:18,334 --> 00:14:21,067
The word is "cat"... "cat." .
309
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:22,634
C-a... .
310
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,701
No, no,
the word is... is "rickshaw." .
311
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:30,667
R-I... r-I-c... .
312
00:14:30,701 --> 00:14:33,834
R-rickshaw.
313
00:14:36,767 --> 00:14:38,667
Paul, I had no idea.
314
00:14:38,701 --> 00:14:40,133
I'm sorry. .
315
00:14:40,167 --> 00:14:43,300
Look, if this trip
means that much to you... .
316
00:14:44,701 --> 00:14:46,067
Oh, no. .
317
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,234
Ahhh.
318
00:14:47,267 --> 00:14:49,234
I know what you're doing. .
319
00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:52,000
You're trying to trick me
into feeling sorry for you. .
320
00:14:58,601 --> 00:15:01,234
What? .
321
00:15:05,133 --> 00:15:07,234
So then I said, "skip dessert? ."
322
00:15:07,267 --> 00:15:09,767
You should be skipping
the whole buffet." .
323
00:15:09,801 --> 00:15:12,534
Ohh! .
324
00:15:12,567 --> 00:15:15,267
That waiter's kind of cute. .
325
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:17,701
You know who else is cute?
Charlie. .
326
00:15:17,734 --> 00:15:18,834
He's cute.
327
00:15:18,868 --> 00:15:21,334
I think I'm gonna have
the fusilli. .
328
00:15:21,367 --> 00:15:25,434
Seriously, he's warm,
he's funny, and kids love him. .
329
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:27,601
You just described elmo. .
330
00:15:27,634 --> 00:15:30,000
Charlie's a great guy,
and he likes you. .
331
00:15:30,033 --> 00:15:31,267
And to be honest,
332
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:33,701
I have never seen him this way
with a woman.
333
00:15:33,734 --> 00:15:36,133
Charlie and I had a good time
the other night,
334
00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:37,968
but that's all
I'm interested in. .
335
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,000
The last thing I need right now
is a clingy, desperate guy. .
336
00:15:47,567 --> 00:15:49,868
So, what,
you're just using him? .
337
00:15:49,901 --> 00:15:51,734
Yeah. I guess so. .
338
00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:53,667
Hey, you want to split a salad?
339
00:15:53,701 --> 00:15:55,267
Sam, Charlie's my friend,
340
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:57,601
and I don't like to hear
that he's being used.
341
00:15:57,634 --> 00:16:00,000
I don't know if you deserve
a guy like Charlie. .
342
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:03,400
You have no right to tell me
who I deserve to be with. .
343
00:16:03,434 --> 00:16:05,100
Fine. Be selfish. .
344
00:16:05,133 --> 00:16:06,367
And you know what?
345
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,434
I'm not even in the mood
for dinner anymore. .
346
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,300
Hey, guys. What a surprise.
347
00:16:11,334 --> 00:16:12,534
Charlie.
348
00:16:12,567 --> 00:16:14,567
Caitlin, you look
a little peaked. .
349
00:16:14,601 --> 00:16:17,801
Is your stomach bothering you? .
350
00:16:17,834 --> 00:16:19,100
No. .
351
00:16:19,133 --> 00:16:20,634
Are you sure? .
352
00:16:20,667 --> 00:16:23,434
Don't you want to feel
a little queasy right now?
353
00:16:23,467 --> 00:16:25,701
I'm glad you came by. .
354
00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:27,300
Would you like
to get out of here? .
355
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:28,434
Yeah. .
356
00:16:28,467 --> 00:16:30,167
Great. See you later, Caitlin. .
357
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,868
Excuse me for a second. .
358
00:16:32,901 --> 00:16:35,033
Um... Charlie... .
359
00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:36,567
She just wants to have sex. .
360
00:16:36,601 --> 00:16:39,133
Thanks. I owe you one. .
361
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:44,167
This isn't just about sex.
I like this girl. .
362
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,367
She doesn't like you
the way you like her. .
363
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,567
If you go with her,
when you wake up,
364
00:16:48,601 --> 00:16:51,501
you'll feel used and empty,
just like you did today. .
365
00:16:51,534 --> 00:16:53,267
You're right.
366
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:55,467
Sam...
367
00:16:55,501 --> 00:16:56,968
I like you... .
368
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,834
But I can't go home with you
if this is just about sex. .
369
00:16:59,868 --> 00:17:01,601
This is just about sex. .
370
00:17:01,634 --> 00:17:04,501
You're honest.
I respect that. Let's go. .
371
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:16,267
I want to reiterate
how difficult this decision is. .
372
00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:19,734
Dumping bondek was easy.
But you two are... .
373
00:17:26,334 --> 00:17:29,367
So, I'm gonna have to base
my decision
374
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,033
on your final statements.
375
00:17:31,067 --> 00:17:32,400
Carter... .
376
00:17:32,434 --> 00:17:34,300
Uh, sir, as your ambassador,
377
00:17:34,334 --> 00:17:37,300
I would represent New York
with poise and dignity. .
378
00:17:37,334 --> 00:17:40,400
Here are my references. .
379
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:41,734
Uh-huh. .
380
00:17:41,767 --> 00:17:44,334
Your mother speaks highly
of you.
381
00:17:45,601 --> 00:17:46,901
Paul... .
382
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:52,300
Bourbon street? .
383
00:17:52,334 --> 00:17:53,567
Excuse me? .
384
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:57,767
Gumbo. Jazz.
385
00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:00,367
Harry connick Jr.! .
386
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,067
My God, he wasn't faking.
It's real. .
387
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:05,667
What's real? .
388
00:18:05,701 --> 00:18:06,968
Sir, he can't hear you.
389
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,167
Paul suffers
from hysterical deafness. .
390
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,634
Under the pressure
of intense competition,
391
00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:12,901
he loses his hearing. .
392
00:18:12,934 --> 00:18:16,567
Cool. .
393
00:18:16,601 --> 00:18:17,734
Sir... .
394
00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:20,901
As much as I'd like
to go to new Orleans,
395
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,400
I'd be happier
if you selected Paul. .
396
00:18:23,434 --> 00:18:24,934
He needs this.
397
00:18:24,968 --> 00:18:26,300
Paul, you win. .
398
00:18:28,334 --> 00:18:29,567
Mardi gras! .
399
00:18:29,601 --> 00:18:35,934
"You... Win!" .
400
00:18:35,968 --> 00:18:37,434
Oh, my God. .
401
00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:39,801
Oh, I won the competition.
Oh, my God, I can hear!
402
00:18:39,834 --> 00:18:41,133
I can hear! .
403
00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:43,100
Who beat whose butt?! .
404
00:18:44,234 --> 00:18:47,267
Who gave who a beatdown?! .
405
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,601
Congratulations, Paul.
I guess the best man won. .
406
00:18:49,634 --> 00:18:53,100
Oh, Mr. mayor...
Oh, this is wonderful.
407
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,300
I can't wait. .
408
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,200
Oh, I really need
the time to relax.
409
00:18:56,234 --> 00:18:58,701
I hope you've been polishing up
on your golf game,
410
00:18:58,734 --> 00:19:01,434
because we have a match
with the mayor of Philadelphia
411
00:19:01,467 --> 00:19:03,734
and his partner...
uh, there's a little wager. .
412
00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:05,133
Wager? .
413
00:19:05,167 --> 00:19:06,701
Just for a round of beers. .
414
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,601
Oh, and $2,500 a man. .
415
00:19:25,901 --> 00:19:27,067
Hi. .
416
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:30,501
What are you doing here?
Why aren't you with Sam?
417
00:19:30,534 --> 00:19:32,267
I couldn't go through with it. .
418
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:33,701
We got back to her place,
419
00:19:33,734 --> 00:19:37,000
and I kept hearing this voice
reminding me how pathetic I was. .
420
00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:39,167
It was my voice, wasn't it? .
421
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,467
No, it was mine. .
422
00:19:40,501 --> 00:19:43,534
She was listening
to her answering machine. .
423
00:19:45,901 --> 00:19:48,033
Nice place. .
424
00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:51,400
Do you sublet
from Scarlett O'Hara? .
425
00:19:52,701 --> 00:19:54,467
So, how you doing? .
426
00:19:54,501 --> 00:19:55,634
Okay.
427
00:19:55,667 --> 00:19:58,601
I guess I'm a little sad
about Sam.
428
00:19:58,634 --> 00:20:00,868
I think our friendship
is pretty much done.
429
00:20:00,901 --> 00:20:03,200
I can fill in for a night.
What are we watching? .
430
00:20:03,234 --> 00:20:04,701
"Sex in the city."
431
00:20:04,734 --> 00:20:06,901
I've seen this one. .
432
00:20:06,934 --> 00:20:08,334
This is the one
433
00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:12,167
where the sorta slutty one is
talking to the really slutty one
434
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,567
about the prissy one. .
435
00:20:13,601 --> 00:20:15,734
See, I can be
a good girlfriend. .
436
00:20:15,767 --> 00:20:18,434
Nice try, Charlie,
but it's not the same. .
437
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:21,067
Oh, come on, you helped me.
I owe you. .
438
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:22,334
Let's dish. .
439
00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:28,667
Is Stuart's ass
getting fat or what?
440
00:20:28,701 --> 00:20:30,901
Charlie, I am not
doing this with you. .
441
00:20:30,934 --> 00:20:33,501
Oh, come on. What about Debbie
in accounting?
442
00:20:33,534 --> 00:20:36,701
I hear she slept
with half the second floor. .
443
00:20:36,734 --> 00:20:39,100
Okay, I wasn't
gonna say anything,
444
00:20:39,133 --> 00:20:42,634
but I hear she's no stranger
to the third floor either. .
445
00:20:42,667 --> 00:20:44,634
No! .
446
00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:46,000
This will be fun. .
447
00:20:46,033 --> 00:20:47,567
We can make cookies,
448
00:20:47,601 --> 00:20:50,501
and I've got
"the way we were" on DVD. .
449
00:20:50,534 --> 00:20:54,534
Actually... I got
a morning meeting. .
450
00:21:03,033 --> 00:21:07,267
Hi. I understand you're into
purely physical relationships. .
451
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:08,267
So? .
452
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:09,701
Let's get physical. .
453
00:21:10,534 --> 00:21:12,467
The drink in the face. .
454
00:21:13,367 --> 00:21:14,734
The slap in the face. .
455
00:21:25,234 --> 00:21:29,601
And the general abuse
of the face area. .
456
00:21:29,634 --> 00:21:32,067
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
33512
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