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1
00:00:01,274 --> 00:00:04,342
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,410 --> 00:00:07,746
♪ is violence in movies
and sex on TV. ♪
3
00:00:07,813 --> 00:00:10,882
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:10,950 --> 00:00:13,852
♪ on which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:17,789
♪ Lucky there's a family guy. ♪
6
00:00:17,873 --> 00:00:20,742
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:20,793 --> 00:00:22,327
♪ all the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:22,395 --> 00:00:23,712
♪ laugh and cry. ♪
9
00:00:23,779 --> 00:00:26,481
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:26,549 --> 00:00:30,616
♪ Family Guy 9x05 ♪
Baby, You Knock Me Out
Original Air Date on November 14, 2010
11
00:00:30,653 --> 00:00:34,940
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
12
00:00:44,759 --> 00:00:46,294
Peter, what the hell
are you doing?
13
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:48,014
I can't sleep, Lois.
14
00:00:48,102 --> 00:00:49,452
I'm too excited
for my birthday tomorrow.
15
00:00:49,519 --> 00:00:51,687
Yeah!
16
00:00:51,739 --> 00:00:53,473
Peter, would you get
in the damn bed?
17
00:00:53,540 --> 00:00:55,625
I'm gonna have
the best birthday party ever.
18
00:00:55,693 --> 00:00:57,694
I gave out
all my invitations yesterday.
19
00:00:57,761 --> 00:00:59,912
Hey, Chris, um, I was wondering
20
00:00:59,980 --> 00:01:01,581
if you'd like to come
to my party tomorrow.
21
00:01:01,649 --> 00:01:03,516
Thanks, Dad.
I'd love to...
22
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,485
Oh no!
M-E-G.
23
00:01:05,569 --> 00:01:06,703
Hey.
24
00:01:06,770 --> 00:01:07,737
What are you guys
talking about?
25
00:01:07,805 --> 00:01:08,871
- Uh, nothing.
- Sports!
26
00:01:08,939 --> 00:01:10,340
Birthday sports!
No, just sports!
27
00:01:10,407 --> 00:01:11,507
Oh.
Okay.
28
00:01:14,361 --> 00:01:16,429
Meg, you're not invited
to my party.
29
00:01:19,933 --> 00:01:22,835
Happy birthday, sweetheart.
30
00:01:22,903 --> 00:01:25,371
Why don't you open your
presents while I cut the cake?
31
00:01:27,057 --> 00:01:28,941
Whoa!
32
00:01:29,009 --> 00:01:30,677
What planet is this?!
33
00:01:30,744 --> 00:01:32,195
It's not a pla...
Peter, it's Earth.
34
00:01:32,262 --> 00:01:33,413
It's a globe.
35
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,381
You use it to learn
where the countries are.
36
00:01:35,449 --> 00:01:38,167
You gave me an educational toy?
37
00:01:38,235 --> 00:01:40,036
What do you say
to Mr. Swanson?
38
00:01:42,373 --> 00:01:44,390
Thank you.
39
00:01:44,458 --> 00:01:47,677
Hey, Dad.
This came in the mail for you.
40
00:01:47,744 --> 00:01:49,011
A card?
41
00:01:49,079 --> 00:01:50,446
Oh, look,
it's one of those cards
42
00:01:50,514 --> 00:01:51,948
where you can record
your own message.
43
00:01:52,015 --> 00:01:53,649
Come on!
Open it up.
44
00:01:53,717 --> 00:01:55,051
Hi, Peter!
45
00:01:55,119 --> 00:01:56,586
Happy birthday.
46
00:01:56,653 --> 00:01:58,921
Just wanted to send
our wishes from Virginia.
47
00:01:58,989 --> 00:02:00,156
Bye!
48
00:02:00,224 --> 00:02:01,758
Okay, Donna, I'm done.
49
00:02:01,825 --> 00:02:03,493
I'm gonna go mail this card.
50
00:02:10,534 --> 00:02:12,635
♪ Mmmbop, ba duba dop ba ♪
51
00:02:12,703 --> 00:02:15,772
♪ Boom bop, ba dubie dop,
ba boom bop, ♪
52
00:02:15,839 --> 00:02:18,141
♪ dubie dop ba boom bop. ♪
53
00:02:18,208 --> 00:02:19,675
♪ Oh yeah. ♪
54
00:02:19,743 --> 00:02:22,545
♪ Mmmbop,
bi bada bop boom bop... ♪
55
00:02:23,714 --> 00:02:25,348
Oh, (bleep).
56
00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:27,717
Afternoon, Officer.
57
00:02:27,785 --> 00:02:29,552
Any idea
how fast you were goin'?
58
00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:30,853
Uh, no, sir.
59
00:02:30,921 --> 00:02:32,321
You gettin' smart
with me, boy?
60
00:02:32,389 --> 00:02:33,489
Where'd you get them wheels?
61
00:02:33,557 --> 00:02:34,757
Aw, come on, man.
62
00:02:34,825 --> 00:02:35,958
Step out of the car.
63
00:02:36,026 --> 00:02:37,059
But I ain't done nothin'.
64
00:02:37,127 --> 00:02:38,327
Hands behind your back.
65
00:02:38,395 --> 00:02:39,695
Hey, easy, watch it!
66
00:02:39,763 --> 00:02:40,897
Come on.
Don't you fight me, boy!
67
00:02:40,964 --> 00:02:42,031
Get down on the ground!
68
00:02:42,099 --> 00:02:42,932
Come on! No!
69
00:02:44,101 --> 00:02:44,967
Hey! Get back here!
70
00:02:46,136 --> 00:02:47,303
Aah! My arm!
71
00:02:51,909 --> 00:02:53,976
This looks like
a safe place to rest.
72
00:02:55,245 --> 00:02:56,446
I think he went this way!
73
00:02:56,513 --> 00:02:57,914
Peter, close the card.
74
00:02:57,981 --> 00:02:59,248
Yeah, I'm sure he's fine.
75
00:03:02,719 --> 00:03:04,287
Here, Peter,
why don't you open my gift?
76
00:03:04,354 --> 00:03:05,588
Ooh, Zales!
77
00:03:05,656 --> 00:03:07,056
Eh, it's just the box, Peter.
78
00:03:07,124 --> 00:03:09,592
Tickets to "Foxy Boxing"?
79
00:03:09,660 --> 00:03:10,877
Yeah, it's this cool thing
80
00:03:10,944 --> 00:03:12,662
where girls in bikinis
box each other.
81
00:03:12,729 --> 00:03:14,230
We're all going Saturday night!
82
00:03:21,054 --> 00:03:22,655
Man, would you look at that?
83
00:03:22,723 --> 00:03:26,225
Two smokin' hot chicks
repeatedly striking each other.
84
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:27,960
Yeah, it reminds me
of Thanksgiving.
85
00:03:28,028 --> 00:03:29,445
Why does it remind
you of Thanksgiving?
86
00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:31,347
'Cause this is where
I come for Thanksgiving.
87
00:03:31,415 --> 00:03:33,766
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention, please?
88
00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:35,234
We've reached that
part of the evening
89
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,837
when our house champion
takes on all challengers.
90
00:03:37,905 --> 00:03:40,840
Any of you lovely ladies like
to try your hand in the ring?
91
00:03:40,908 --> 00:03:41,924
Hey, Lois, what do you think?
92
00:03:41,992 --> 00:03:43,459
You want to fight
that lady's boobs?
93
00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,661
What? No.
I'm not fighting anyone.
94
00:03:45,729 --> 00:03:48,147
Oh. Well, good thing
I made this plaster mold
95
00:03:48,215 --> 00:03:49,532
of your hand and forearm.
96
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:50,800
Hey, buddy!
Over here!
97
00:03:50,868 --> 00:03:53,536
I see a woman's hand
and forearm at table eight!
98
00:03:53,604 --> 00:03:55,471
Damn it, Peter!
99
00:03:55,522 --> 00:03:57,190
Please, Lois! Come on,
you got to fight her!
100
00:03:57,257 --> 00:03:58,291
- It's gonna be great!
- Come on, Lois!
101
00:03:58,358 --> 00:03:59,275
Get in there, take her down!
102
00:03:59,343 --> 00:04:00,359
- Come on!
- It'll be awesome!
103
00:04:00,444 --> 00:04:01,494
I'd really like to see that.
104
00:04:01,578 --> 00:04:02,962
All right, all right.
105
00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:05,097
If it'll shut you all up,
I'll do it.
106
00:04:09,086 --> 00:04:10,469
All right,
so how does this work?
107
00:04:10,537 --> 00:04:11,771
We gonna pretend
to hit each other
108
00:04:11,839 --> 00:04:13,840
for a while, then maybe
kiss a little? Huh?
109
00:04:13,907 --> 00:04:16,559
I'm terrible.
110
00:04:16,627 --> 00:04:17,927
Hey, watch it.
111
00:04:17,995 --> 00:04:19,228
That was pretty hard.
112
00:04:19,296 --> 00:04:21,247
No, it wasn't.
Try this one.
113
00:04:21,331 --> 00:04:23,132
Stop that, young lady.
114
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,251
I'm just out here for fun...
115
00:04:25,335 --> 00:04:27,336
Yeah, punch each other,
you whores!
116
00:04:27,404 --> 00:04:30,072
Okay, you little bitch,
that's it!
117
00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:31,324
You want to (bleep) with me?!
118
00:04:31,391 --> 00:04:32,391
Let's go!
119
00:04:38,232 --> 00:04:41,167
No matter what you do
for the rest of your life,
120
00:04:41,235 --> 00:04:44,770
you'll always be garbage.
121
00:04:46,807 --> 00:04:47,940
Oh, my God!
122
00:04:48,008 --> 00:04:50,092
I didn't know Lois
had that in her.
123
00:04:50,143 --> 00:04:51,310
Hey, is that your wife?
124
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,212
You bet that's my wife.
125
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,047
Well, I got to say,
she's a natural.
126
00:04:55,115 --> 00:04:58,167
You know, she could make some
serious money as a professional.
127
00:04:58,235 --> 00:05:00,202
Wow, you...
You really think so?
128
00:05:00,270 --> 00:05:01,971
Oh, sure.
Women's boxing
129
00:05:02,039 --> 00:05:03,823
is a rapidly growing
part of the field.
130
00:05:03,891 --> 00:05:06,492
You should consider your
wife competing for a belt.
131
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,995
Well, she did look like she knew
what she was doin' up there.
132
00:05:09,062 --> 00:05:10,763
Think about it.
Here's my card.
133
00:05:13,650 --> 00:05:16,085
What can I say?
134
00:05:16,136 --> 00:05:17,436
I really like watching her box.
135
00:05:17,504 --> 00:05:18,905
That means two things.
136
00:05:25,589 --> 00:05:26,546
Hey, Lois, congrats
137
00:05:26,646 --> 00:05:28,497
on winning that
boxing match last night.
138
00:05:28,582 --> 00:05:30,132
I saw your picture
in The Daily Growl.
139
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,635
Brian, The Daily Growl
is not a real paper.
140
00:05:32,703 --> 00:05:33,869
What?
Yeah, it is.
141
00:05:35,155 --> 00:05:37,490
I like that sound.
142
00:05:38,875 --> 00:05:40,509
Mom, since when
are you a boxer?
143
00:05:40,577 --> 00:05:41,944
I'm not, honey.
144
00:05:42,012 --> 00:05:44,580
Honestly, I don't know what
came over me last night.
145
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,582
It was just one
of those crazy things
146
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,584
that sort of happened
after a few drinks.
147
00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:49,852
Morning, everyone!
148
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,837
Morning, champ!
Ya feelin' loose today?
149
00:05:51,888 --> 00:05:53,172
Peter, what are you doing?
150
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:54,573
What is all this?
151
00:05:54,641 --> 00:05:55,841
I'm a fight promoter now.
152
00:05:55,909 --> 00:05:57,376
And I got you another fight.
153
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:59,595
You're boxing tonight
at the Quahog Civic Center.
154
00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:00,996
Are you out of your mind?
155
00:06:01,064 --> 00:06:03,999
No, Peter. That was a
one-time thing, all right?
156
00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:06,302
I am not a boxer,
and I'm not fighting anyone else.
157
00:06:06,370 --> 00:06:07,503
And that's final.
158
00:06:07,571 --> 00:06:08,938
All right, well,
how about this, then?
159
00:06:09,005 --> 00:06:11,741
I'll take you somewhere real
fancy and romantic for dinner,
160
00:06:11,808 --> 00:06:13,109
just the two of us.
161
00:06:13,176 --> 00:06:15,277
And in return, I get to try
and convince you to fight.
162
00:06:15,345 --> 00:06:17,513
Well, going out for
dinner would be nice.
163
00:06:17,581 --> 00:06:19,832
But I'm not changing my mind.
164
00:06:19,883 --> 00:06:22,835
Oh, gosh, I can't wait to
see this fancy restaurant.
165
00:06:22,903 --> 00:06:24,820
Oh, you're gonna love it, Lois.
166
00:06:24,888 --> 00:06:27,590
Here, put on these special
eating gloves I bought you.
167
00:06:27,657 --> 00:06:30,259
Why do I need to wear gloves
to eat in a fancy restaurant?
168
00:06:30,327 --> 00:06:32,461
'Cause it's so fancy that...
169
00:06:32,529 --> 00:06:34,013
You know what?
I'm tired of this.
170
00:06:34,064 --> 00:06:35,214
I booked you a boxing match.
171
00:06:35,265 --> 00:06:36,732
Son of a bitch!
172
00:06:36,817 --> 00:06:39,602
Damn it, Peter. I told you,
I don't want to be a boxer!
173
00:06:39,669 --> 00:06:41,504
Who the hell do you
think you are?!
174
00:06:41,571 --> 00:06:43,105
There you go!
Use that anger!
175
00:06:43,173 --> 00:06:44,607
Hey, remember when
I said I think it's hot
176
00:06:44,674 --> 00:06:46,142
when you wear a sports bra
and gym shorts
177
00:06:46,209 --> 00:06:47,309
underneath your dress?
178
00:06:47,377 --> 00:06:48,411
Yeah?
179
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:49,528
Now, put these shoes on.
180
00:06:49,579 --> 00:06:50,780
Stop it, you jackass!
181
00:06:50,847 --> 00:06:54,166
I told you, I'm not fighting!
182
00:06:54,234 --> 00:06:56,836
I'm sorry, there's been
a terrible mistake.
183
00:06:56,903 --> 00:06:58,170
My idiot husband here
booked this match
184
00:06:58,238 --> 00:06:59,338
without my knowledge...
185
00:07:00,841 --> 00:07:01,857
She's from the Ukraine, Lois!
186
00:07:01,925 --> 00:07:03,058
She doesn't speak English!
187
00:07:03,126 --> 00:07:04,427
All right.
188
00:07:06,646 --> 00:07:08,230
She's from the other part
of the Ukraine!
189
00:07:08,298 --> 00:07:10,132
It's a different dialect!
190
00:07:12,352 --> 00:07:14,820
One, two, three.
191
00:07:18,508 --> 00:07:20,609
Hey! Whatcha doin'
down there, Lois?
192
00:07:21,978 --> 00:07:23,312
Aw, what's the matter?
193
00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:25,548
Mad at little old me?
194
00:07:25,615 --> 00:07:28,384
In your imagination,
I've got long eyelashes.
195
00:07:44,784 --> 00:07:47,253
One! Two! Three!
196
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:49,454
Did you know where the Ukraine
was 'cause of my globe?
197
00:07:49,506 --> 00:07:50,956
No, I saw it in a book.
198
00:07:51,024 --> 00:07:53,943
You knew 'cause
of my globe, you dick.
199
00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:56,245
Eight! Nine! Ten!
200
00:07:56,313 --> 00:07:57,730
We have a winner!
201
00:07:59,499 --> 00:08:01,033
Well, what do you
think of that, Lois?
202
00:08:01,084 --> 00:08:02,284
You still mad at me now?
203
00:08:02,369 --> 00:08:04,119
Peter!
I feel great!
204
00:08:04,204 --> 00:08:06,255
I've never felt so in control.
205
00:08:06,339 --> 00:08:07,756
I know the feeling.
206
00:08:07,841 --> 00:08:09,842
It's how I feel when
I burp really loud
207
00:08:09,909 --> 00:08:11,243
in an underground
parking structure
208
00:08:11,294 --> 00:08:12,811
to assert my dominance.
209
00:08:15,382 --> 00:08:17,349
Says the king.
210
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,055
All right, kids,
I'm off to train at the gym.
211
00:08:23,123 --> 00:08:25,758
Geez, Lois, you're really
taking this seriously, huh?
212
00:08:25,825 --> 00:08:27,593
Well, yeah, Brian,
why wouldn't I?
213
00:08:27,661 --> 00:08:29,161
I don't know, you've just never
214
00:08:29,229 --> 00:08:30,563
really been
the aggressive type.
215
00:08:30,630 --> 00:08:33,532
I mean, you're usually
so measured and collected.
216
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,569
I know, Brian, but when
I stepped into that ring...
217
00:08:36,636 --> 00:08:39,171
I don't know.
Something happened to me.
218
00:08:39,239 --> 00:08:41,907
It's like I tapped
into this primal wellspring
219
00:08:41,975 --> 00:08:44,743
of pent-up anger that
just needed to be released.
220
00:08:44,811 --> 00:08:46,845
Really? What do you
have to be angry about?
221
00:08:46,913 --> 00:08:50,516
Where are my flapjacks?!
222
00:08:50,584 --> 00:08:51,383
Huh?
223
00:08:51,451 --> 00:08:53,018
You will recall, last night,
224
00:08:53,086 --> 00:08:55,087
ere I drifted off into slumber
225
00:08:55,155 --> 00:08:57,256
with a nudie magazine
betwixt my legs,
226
00:08:57,324 --> 00:08:58,691
I spake thusly:
227
00:08:58,758 --> 00:09:01,193
"Lois, tomorrow morning,
I want flapjacks."
228
00:09:01,261 --> 00:09:04,496
It was a simple message,
yet it has gone unheeded.
229
00:09:06,199 --> 00:09:07,967
All right, Peter,
give me a minute.
230
00:09:08,034 --> 00:09:10,436
For every five seconds
I do not have flapjacks,
231
00:09:10,503 --> 00:09:13,088
I shall break one window.
232
00:09:13,173 --> 00:09:14,907
Uh-huh.
233
00:09:14,975 --> 00:09:16,342
Look, Lois, it just seems to me
234
00:09:16,409 --> 00:09:18,177
that this isn't necessarily
the healthiest thing
235
00:09:18,245 --> 00:09:19,778
for a woman your age
to be doing.
236
00:09:21,314 --> 00:09:23,182
Brian, I'm 42,
I'm in the prime of my life,
237
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:24,750
and this is what
I want right now.
238
00:09:24,818 --> 00:09:25,884
You're sure about that?
239
00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:28,921
Meg, go make your
father some flapjacks.
240
00:09:28,989 --> 00:09:30,556
Okay, Mom.
241
00:09:31,675 --> 00:09:32,875
This is crazy!
242
00:09:32,943 --> 00:09:34,677
Is nobody really
making me flapjacks yet?
243
00:09:34,744 --> 00:09:38,013
At this point, you guys are
being as irresponsible as I am!
244
00:09:52,879 --> 00:09:58,183
♪ Gonna fly now. ♪
245
00:09:58,251 --> 00:10:03,322
♪ Flying high now. ♪
246
00:10:03,390 --> 00:10:08,427
♪ Gonna fly... ♪
247
00:10:08,495 --> 00:10:13,232
♪ Fly... Fly! ♪
248
00:10:19,673 --> 00:10:21,640
Ow!
249
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:22,908
Well, it's broken, all right.
250
00:10:22,976 --> 00:10:24,159
Well, you got to fix her, Doc.
251
00:10:24,244 --> 00:10:25,344
There's a big fight coming up.
252
00:10:25,412 --> 00:10:26,412
She's got to defend her title.
253
00:10:26,479 --> 00:10:28,914
Look, Peter, I don't think
there's gonna be any fight.
254
00:10:28,982 --> 00:10:30,015
What are you talking about?
255
00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:32,318
Look at me.
I got a broken nose.
256
00:10:32,385 --> 00:10:35,754
I think this is a sign that maybe
it's time to hang up the gloves.
257
00:10:35,822 --> 00:10:37,339
What are you, out of your mind?
258
00:10:37,407 --> 00:10:39,174
Whoa, don't you give me
that attitude, Peter.
259
00:10:39,242 --> 00:10:41,810
Look, Lois, we're making a lot
of cash with this boxing thing.
260
00:10:41,878 --> 00:10:44,213
And I need money
for bourbon and anime.
261
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,482
Well, I just
can't understand any of this.
262
00:10:46,549 --> 00:10:48,150
Everybody in Japan
263
00:10:48,218 --> 00:10:51,053
is either a ten-year-old girl
or a monster.
264
00:10:51,121 --> 00:10:52,855
I don't care about
the money, Peter!
265
00:10:52,922 --> 00:10:54,156
I don't care about boxing!
266
00:10:54,224 --> 00:10:56,291
The only reason I did
this in the first place
267
00:10:56,359 --> 00:10:58,127
- was 'cause of you!
- What do you mean?
268
00:10:58,194 --> 00:11:00,329
Peter, sometimes
you're so insensitive,
269
00:11:00,397 --> 00:11:03,465
and you make me so angry,
I just want to clock you in the jaw.
270
00:11:03,533 --> 00:11:06,785
Obviously, I can't do that,
so boxing was an outlet.
271
00:11:06,853 --> 00:11:10,556
Wait, you mean the reason
you fight so good is...
272
00:11:10,623 --> 00:11:13,008
Yeah, 'cause I'm making
believe I'm fighting you!
273
00:11:13,076 --> 00:11:16,512
Wow.
Am I that much of a bastard?
274
00:11:16,579 --> 00:11:17,946
Sometimes, yes.
275
00:11:18,014 --> 00:11:20,015
Geez, Lois, I'm sorry.
276
00:11:20,083 --> 00:11:22,284
I... I mean,
I don't mean to be,
277
00:11:22,352 --> 00:11:23,686
I just...
278
00:11:23,753 --> 00:11:26,288
Look, if you don't want
to fight anymore,
279
00:11:26,356 --> 00:11:27,790
you don't have to.
280
00:11:27,857 --> 00:11:29,058
Well, good.
281
00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:31,727
And the truth is,
I suppose I kind of got
282
00:11:31,795 --> 00:11:33,629
most of it out of
my system anyway.
283
00:11:33,697 --> 00:11:35,631
Oh, I love you, Lois.
284
00:11:35,699 --> 00:11:37,766
I love you, too, Peter.
285
00:11:37,834 --> 00:11:41,286
Is it cool if I tell your insurance
that I gave you heart surgery?
286
00:11:44,657 --> 00:11:47,609
Ladies and gentlemen,
in honor of her retirement
287
00:11:47,677 --> 00:11:50,829
after seventeen consecutive victories,
288
00:11:50,897 --> 00:11:55,200
I hereby dedicate this statue
to Quahog's greatest fighter,
289
00:11:55,268 --> 00:11:57,086
Lois Griffin!
290
00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:03,225
I'm also having
a celebratory keg party
291
00:12:03,293 --> 00:12:05,027
back at my house later.
292
00:12:05,095 --> 00:12:08,797
You can tell your parents
that my parents will be there.
293
00:12:08,865 --> 00:12:10,733
But they won't be.
294
00:12:12,736 --> 00:12:15,904
And now a few words
from Lois Griffin herself.
295
00:12:17,323 --> 00:12:19,158
Thank you so much
for coming, everyone,
296
00:12:19,225 --> 00:12:22,644
and thank you for always
cheering me on at all my fights.
297
00:12:22,712 --> 00:12:23,679
Hey, Griffin!
298
00:12:25,949 --> 00:12:28,517
- Oh, my God, that's Deirdre Jackson!
- Who's that?
299
00:12:28,585 --> 00:12:31,370
Only the deadliest fighter
in all of women's boxing.
300
00:12:31,438 --> 00:12:33,572
She's killed three
people in the ring.
301
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,457
Her fists are so dangerous,
302
00:12:35,542 --> 00:12:37,593
she's not allowed
to be a lesbian.
303
00:12:37,677 --> 00:12:39,027
I know why you're
retiring, Griffin!
304
00:12:39,095 --> 00:12:40,062
You're scared!
305
00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:42,030
Scared?
Of what?
306
00:12:42,098 --> 00:12:44,383
Of me! Look at these people,
giving you a statue
307
00:12:44,451 --> 00:12:45,951
for fighting a bunch of bums!
308
00:12:46,019 --> 00:12:48,771
If you're so great,
why don't you prove it? Fight me!
309
00:12:48,838 --> 00:12:50,973
Look, I don't need
to prove anything.
310
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,842
I'm retired, and that's
the way it's gonna stay.
311
00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:55,110
Oh, yeah?
312
00:12:55,178 --> 00:12:56,645
Hey, man,
you want a real woman?
313
00:12:56,713 --> 00:12:58,480
Why don't you bring
your pretty little self
314
00:12:58,548 --> 00:12:59,731
over to my apartment tonight,
315
00:12:59,799 --> 00:13:01,033
and I'll show you
a real woman.
316
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,935
Oh, I'm ashamed!
317
00:13:03,002 --> 00:13:04,803
Hey, that's my husband
you're talking to!
318
00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,989
Yeah? Well, what are
you gonna do about it?
319
00:13:07,056 --> 00:13:08,123
You gonna fight me?
320
00:13:08,191 --> 00:13:09,324
Look, I already said...
321
00:13:09,392 --> 00:13:10,959
Get down on your
hands and knees, fatty!
322
00:13:11,027 --> 00:13:11,894
Yeah! Yes, sir!
323
00:13:14,497 --> 00:13:16,832
Look at me, Griffin...
I'm milking me a cow!
324
00:13:16,916 --> 00:13:18,167
Moo for me!
325
00:13:18,251 --> 00:13:19,301
- Moo.
- Louder!
326
00:13:19,385 --> 00:13:20,552
- Moo!
- Louder!
327
00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:22,137
- Moo...!
- Louder!
328
00:13:22,205 --> 00:13:23,639
Moo...!
329
00:13:23,706 --> 00:13:24,890
All right, that's it!
330
00:13:24,957 --> 00:13:26,675
You want a fight, you got one!
331
00:13:26,743 --> 00:13:28,710
Now, you get your
hands off my man
332
00:13:28,778 --> 00:13:30,512
before I break 'em off!
333
00:13:32,248 --> 00:13:33,749
(bleep)!
It's my parents!
334
00:13:33,817 --> 00:13:35,217
The party's off, everybody!
335
00:13:35,285 --> 00:13:36,685
Get the (bleep) out of here!
336
00:13:43,453 --> 00:13:44,803
Good evening.
I'm Tom Tucker.
337
00:13:44,871 --> 00:13:46,705
Coming up next, a boxing match
338
00:13:46,756 --> 00:13:49,207
where the fighters
are bleeding before the fight?
339
00:13:49,259 --> 00:13:51,944
We've got exclusive coverage of
tonight's women's boxing bout,
340
00:13:52,012 --> 00:13:53,779
Griffin versus Jackson.
341
00:13:53,847 --> 00:13:57,049
We're here live with contender Deirdre
Jackson outside her dressing room.
342
00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:00,269
Deirdre, is it true you've
killed three women in the ring?
343
00:14:00,337 --> 00:14:01,887
Tonight it's gonna be four.
344
00:14:01,955 --> 00:14:04,607
Are you saying you intend
to kill your opponent?
345
00:14:04,691 --> 00:14:08,143
Let's just say you
don't want to miss round six.
346
00:14:08,211 --> 00:14:10,429
Lois, you can't go out there!
347
00:14:10,497 --> 00:14:13,098
- What? Why not?
- Because if you step into that ring,
348
00:14:13,166 --> 00:14:14,366
she's gonna kill you.
349
00:14:14,434 --> 00:14:15,601
No, she's not, Peter.
350
00:14:15,669 --> 00:14:17,670
What the hell kind
of talk is that?
351
00:14:17,737 --> 00:14:19,154
Now, I'm gonna win this thing.
352
00:14:19,222 --> 00:14:21,357
Look, Lois, you don't
have to do this for me.
353
00:14:21,424 --> 00:14:22,858
I know I make you
mad sometimes,
354
00:14:22,926 --> 00:14:25,194
but I thought we agreed
you'd hang up the gloves.
355
00:14:25,262 --> 00:14:28,130
I'll hang up the gloves
after I knock her ass out.
356
00:14:28,198 --> 00:14:29,431
Peter, she milked your boobs,
357
00:14:29,499 --> 00:14:32,001
and there were a lot of
people I knew there.
358
00:14:32,068 --> 00:14:33,269
Now, let's go.
359
00:14:35,188 --> 00:14:39,091
Butt scratcher!
Get your butt scratcher here!
360
00:14:39,159 --> 00:14:40,960
Now, since this is
a televised boxing match,
361
00:14:41,027 --> 00:14:42,127
I'm gonna be joined
362
00:14:42,195 --> 00:14:43,929
by a horribly disfigured
former fighter
363
00:14:43,997 --> 00:14:46,231
providing barely intelligible
commentary throughout.
364
00:14:46,299 --> 00:14:48,100
Any thoughts on
the fight, Floyd?
365
00:14:48,151 --> 00:14:50,119
Uh, I... I think that they're...
They're gonna have,
366
00:14:50,186 --> 00:14:52,254
They are gonna be fightin'
Deirdre's last fight
367
00:14:52,322 --> 00:14:54,139
in the contrast
to the later one
368
00:14:54,207 --> 00:14:55,941
is gonna be bet...
Better than usually.
369
00:14:56,009 --> 00:14:58,610
And how do you think that
helps her chances tonight?
370
00:14:58,678 --> 00:15:02,481
Well, the match lastin' the bout up
until the particular inaccuracy,
371
00:15:02,549 --> 00:15:06,285
particular unusually that should
be the ultimate determining factor
372
00:15:06,353 --> 00:15:07,820
in about the
twelve-round experience,
373
00:15:07,887 --> 00:15:09,655
the heart of a champion
margarine hat.
374
00:15:09,723 --> 00:15:11,357
Well, we'll be
watching for that.
375
00:15:11,424 --> 00:15:13,592
We'll be checking in with you
throughout the night, Floyd.
376
00:15:13,660 --> 00:15:15,094
And happy 23rd birthday.
377
00:15:15,161 --> 00:15:16,228
You're welcome.
378
00:15:18,048 --> 00:15:21,633
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention, please?
379
00:15:21,701 --> 00:15:23,936
Introducing tonight's fighters.
380
00:15:24,004 --> 00:15:27,906
In this corner,
weighing in at 134 pounds,
381
00:15:27,974 --> 00:15:30,659
the top-ranked boxer
in all of Rhode Island,
382
00:15:30,744 --> 00:15:33,996
Deirdre "Action" Jackson!
383
00:15:38,935 --> 00:15:42,037
I think every Italian
in Quahog is here.
384
00:15:42,105 --> 00:15:43,872
Yeah!
Go, white girl!
385
00:15:43,957 --> 00:15:46,775
Hey, yo, you're gettin'
your grinder on my grinder!
386
00:15:46,843 --> 00:15:50,946
And in this corner,
weighing in at 130 pounds,
387
00:15:51,014 --> 00:15:52,948
it's the Ovarian Barbarian
388
00:15:53,016 --> 00:15:55,517
and the Breast of All Time,
389
00:15:55,585 --> 00:15:58,404
let's put our hands together
for Quahog's own...
390
00:15:58,471 --> 00:16:00,356
Lois Griffin!
391
00:16:02,809 --> 00:16:05,010
Okay, here's the rules.
392
00:16:05,078 --> 00:16:07,212
No hitting below the belt,
393
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:10,049
no rabbit punches,
no name calling,
394
00:16:10,116 --> 00:16:11,884
no making trouble
for unconventional couples
395
00:16:11,951 --> 00:16:14,620
who want to adopt babies,
'cause you know what,
396
00:16:14,687 --> 00:16:16,555
they ain't gettin'
the good babies, anyways.
397
00:16:16,623 --> 00:16:18,357
Okay, have a fun fight.
398
00:16:18,425 --> 00:16:19,925
Ding, ding.
399
00:16:23,947 --> 00:16:25,280
You think you're tough?
400
00:16:25,348 --> 00:16:27,082
Well, let's see what you got!
401
00:16:52,442 --> 00:16:54,710
Wow, she's really
hitting Mom hard.
402
00:16:54,778 --> 00:16:55,878
Good.
403
00:17:04,621 --> 00:17:06,488
How you feeling, Lois?
404
00:17:06,556 --> 00:17:09,024
She... She's too str...
405
00:17:09,092 --> 00:17:10,876
She's too strong, Joe.
406
00:17:10,944 --> 00:17:13,095
I don't stand a
chance out there.
407
00:17:13,179 --> 00:17:15,447
All right, Lois, you listen
to me and you listen good.
408
00:17:15,515 --> 00:17:16,915
I held your hand
during childbirth,
409
00:17:16,983 --> 00:17:19,485
I watched you raise three kids
on a shoestring budget...
410
00:17:19,552 --> 00:17:22,187
you never gave up then,
and you're not giving up now!
411
00:17:22,255 --> 00:17:24,056
'Cause you're the toughest woman
I've ever met.
412
00:17:24,124 --> 00:17:26,291
And if there was
a hall of fame for hearts,
413
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:29,061
yours would be the biggest one
in the whole damn building!
414
00:17:29,129 --> 00:17:30,863
Peter, you're
in the wrong corner!
415
00:17:30,930 --> 00:17:32,231
Ah.
416
00:17:32,282 --> 00:17:34,383
All right, Lois, you listen
to me and you listen good.
417
00:17:34,451 --> 00:17:35,784
Damn it!
418
00:17:38,688 --> 00:17:40,622
Shut up!
419
00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:42,357
Everybody shut up!
420
00:17:42,425 --> 00:17:44,460
This took a lot of courage!
421
00:17:44,527 --> 00:17:47,062
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
here we are at round six...
422
00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:49,531
The round that Deirdre Jackson
predicted she'd kill Lois Griffin.
423
00:17:49,599 --> 00:17:52,501
What do you think, Floyd, is she
gonna make good on that promise?
424
00:17:52,569 --> 00:17:55,904
A broken promise is a lot
like a child's pinwheel.
425
00:17:55,972 --> 00:17:59,541
You have to b... Be yourself,
or at least within the confines.
426
00:18:02,111 --> 00:18:04,746
All right, well, let's see
what's going on in the ring.
427
00:18:07,817 --> 00:18:09,451
Finish this.
428
00:18:37,213 --> 00:18:38,797
One, two...
429
00:18:40,416 --> 00:18:41,984
Lois, stay down.
Don't get up.
430
00:18:42,051 --> 00:18:43,385
You've got nothing to prove.
431
00:18:43,453 --> 00:18:45,604
Five, six...
432
00:18:45,672 --> 00:18:47,739
You get up, you die!
433
00:18:49,275 --> 00:18:51,293
I've had enough of you!
434
00:19:30,083 --> 00:19:31,817
♪ Risin' up, ♪
435
00:19:31,884 --> 00:19:34,519
♪ back on the street. ♪
436
00:19:34,587 --> 00:19:36,922
♪ Did my time,
took my chances... ♪
437
00:19:36,990 --> 00:19:38,890
- Oh, get out of here.
- Yeah, okay.
438
00:19:51,904 --> 00:19:53,305
You're goin' down, Griffin!
439
00:19:55,074 --> 00:19:57,059
Not tonight, I'm not!
440
00:20:19,198 --> 00:20:20,899
Lois! You did it!
441
00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:22,818
I love you so much!
442
00:20:22,902 --> 00:20:24,553
And the winner is...
443
00:20:24,621 --> 00:20:27,039
Lois Griffin!
444
00:20:27,106 --> 00:20:29,774
Now, if everyone could just pick
up two chairs before you leave,
445
00:20:29,826 --> 00:20:31,960
we can get this place
cleaned up a lot quicker.
446
00:20:32,028 --> 00:20:33,795
Wow.
Well, what do you think, Floyd?
447
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,481
How did Lois Griffin do what
no other challenger could do
448
00:20:36,549 --> 00:20:38,050
and knock out Deirdre Jackson?
449
00:20:38,117 --> 00:20:41,269
I... I have a strong headache
when I go to sleep and wake up.
450
00:20:41,337 --> 00:20:44,056
And how do you think that's going
to affect Jackson's next fight?
451
00:20:44,123 --> 00:20:46,508
My Puerto Rican wife got fat.
452
00:20:52,398 --> 00:20:54,683
Well, I gotta be honest,
Lois, I had my doubts,
453
00:20:54,751 --> 00:20:56,818
but you really held
your own in that ring.
454
00:20:56,886 --> 00:20:59,688
Thanks, Brian.
It was nice to go out a champion.
455
00:20:59,756 --> 00:21:01,390
Well, we're real proud
of you, Lois.
456
00:21:01,457 --> 00:21:04,292
And thanks to Deirdre,
I even got some of my own milk
457
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:07,245
to put on my cereal.
458
00:21:07,313 --> 00:21:09,398
Dad, come on! Oh, Peter!
Oh, for crying out loud!
459
00:21:09,465 --> 00:21:09,931
What? I'm fun.
460
00:21:10,131 --> 00:21:13,131
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==34237
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