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1
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,901
Don't worry, Princess,
we're coming.
2
00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:11,504
Iolaus, you all right?
3
00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:13,323
Yeah. I got a couple of
moves I can show him.
4
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,406
Over here!
5
00:00:14,481 --> 00:00:16,177
I want blood!
6
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:17,641
Oh.
7
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,469
Wow! What'd you do to him?
8
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:48,310
I don't know. But
it was really good.
9
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:00,050
He's dead.
10
00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:02,596
Then he died of fright,
'cause I didn't touch him.
11
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:09,731
Ares.
12
00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,571
Did you do this? Me?
13
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:16,542
Kill one of my most
devoted disciples?
14
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,479
I had serious plans for Gravus,
15
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:21,474
and now
16
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:23,710
his murderer's going to
join him in the underworld.
17
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:50,070
What is happening?
18
00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:52,376
Well, Hercules is fighting Ares.
19
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,206
Over me? No.
20
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,341
Over me.
21
00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:58,851
See, that's why I can
see him and you can't.
22
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,028
See, what happened... Look out!
23
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:40,116
Uh-oh!
24
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:55,906
I thought you
said this was over?
25
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:57,243
What is it?
26
00:03:01,948 --> 00:03:04,611
I think I was better off
before you two rescued me.
27
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:06,645
Goodbye.
28
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:21,233
Stop! Wait!
29
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,938
There he is! Get him!
30
00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:33,673
Hercules?
31
00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:36,079
Hyah! Hyah! IOLAUS: Hercules!
32
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:48,941
You lose your little buddy?
33
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:52,289
Well, I found someone
to take his place.
34
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,234
Wait! Just... Come on!
35
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:03,036
Wait! What are you...
36
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,703
What is this? Come on!
37
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:14,953
Is that you?
38
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:23,291
Hercules?
39
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,356
Nice disguise.
40
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,627
It almost allowed you
to escape from me.
41
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:29,726
Huh?
42
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,135
Too bad it didn't work.
43
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:39,005
Yeah.
44
00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:43,342
This is the story
of a time long ago,
45
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,878
a time of myth and legend,
46
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,421
when the ancient gods
were petty and cruel
47
00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:51,590
and they plagued
mankind with suffering.
48
00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:55,025
Only one man dared
to challenge their power.
49
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:57,326
Hercules.
50
00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,663
Hercules possessed a strength
the world had never seen,
51
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:04,034
a strength surpassed only
by the power of his heart.
52
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:07,935
He journeyed the earth, battling the
minions of his wicked stepmother, Hera,
53
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:10,744
the all-powerful
queen of the gods.
54
00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:13,037
But wherever there was evil,
55
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,573
wherever an
innocent would suffer,
56
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,448
there would be Hercules.
57
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,339
Ares, let him go.
58
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,210
He's all yours, brother.
59
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,631
Take it easy. Take it
easy. You're all right.
60
00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:57,123
Oh, thanks.
61
00:05:57,290 --> 00:06:00,658
It's like somebody had me by
the scruff of the neck and then
62
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,956
I turned around,
there's nobody there.
63
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,162
You? Hey, hey, hey!
64
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:06,860
Hey, wait a minute. Uh! Uh!
65
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,764
You hear the one
about the two Egyptians
66
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:10,997
and the drunken mummy?
67
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,071
What?
68
00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:14,835
No jokes today? Okay.
69
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,348
Give me some room!
Give me some room!
70
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:27,383
Look, I don't know who you are
71
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:30,049
or what you're doing,
but we have to talk.
72
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,147
Where did you come from?
73
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:34,261
Ah. I got my start at the
Comedy Cave in Hellespont.
74
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:36,091
Ha! I know. It's a dive,
75
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:37,802
but, uh, you gotta
start somewhere, right?
76
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,601
He starts to mime,
he's a dead man.
77
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:45,764
Ares.
78
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,926
Hey! You guys
in the clown suits!
79
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:10,129
Hmm?
80
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,643
Let me out of here! I
want to talk to Hercules!
81
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,727
Quiet! When the
Sovereign wants to see you,
82
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:16,997
he'll call your numeral.
83
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,510
What is this place?
What's happening?
84
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:22,365
I am not a numeral!
I'm a free man!
85
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:31,109
Ares, do you have any
idea what's going on here?
86
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,949
I hate to admit it, but I'm as
much in the dark as you are.
87
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:38,852
Annoying, isn't he?
88
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:39,984
Oh, yeah.
89
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,084
Yoo-hoo!
90
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,766
Geronimus!
91
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:49,396
Whoo-hoo!
92
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,170
You gotta hand it to sis.
93
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:54,230
She really knows how
to make an entrance.
94
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,232
Ha!
95
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,107
Now that's a rush and a half.
96
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,707
I was hoping it'd cheer
me up, but no such luck.
97
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:04,807
There's a big problem.
98
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:06,713
Zeus is dying.
99
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:11,983
Hey, knuckleheads.
100
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:13,686
Want to hear a good one?
101
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,888
That's right. Yeah. Come closer.
102
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,828
This is really going
to knock you out.
103
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:23,932
And the tooth shall set me free.
104
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:27,732
Zeus is dying.
105
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,775
The lightning bolts and
this gateway opening up...
106
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:32,910
That's no coincidence.
107
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,781
He barely had the strength to
break it up between you two.
108
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:37,407
You go tell Zeus,
109
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:39,765
if I'm going to help him,
he's got to help me find Iolaus.
110
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,277
I'll go, too.
111
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,755
I'm going to get to
the bottom of this.
112
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:45,223
If something where
113
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,494
he came from is
killing the old man,
114
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:57,069
I might be next.
115
00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:01,200
Herc, I know things have
never been exactly copasetic
116
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,674
between you two,
117
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:06,108
but maybe you ought to
think about paying him a visit.
118
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,339
Oh, we have had our problems,
119
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,043
but I always thought there'd
be time to work things out.
120
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,543
Tell Zeus that
I'll do what I can.
121
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:26,965
Hi.
122
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:30,197
Oh, please, please,
make it fast and painless.
123
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,847
I mean, I know I got
a little pain coming,
124
00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:34,238
but, please, make it fast.
125
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,208
Come on. Come
on. Get up. Get up.
126
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,202
Don't you understand?
127
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,746
This is not where you came from.
128
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,475
I'm not who you think I am.
129
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:43,475
Oh, I get it.
130
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:46,076
I should be happy because
I've escaped from that monster!
131
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,417
What monster? Who
were you running from?
132
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:50,581
You.
133
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,448
Me?
134
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:54,717
Ah!
135
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,285
Oh, you!
136
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:58,092
Just the guy I was looking for.
137
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,497
Hercules, what is going on?
138
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,968
You, uh, said that
name before. Huh.
139
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,071
Hercules. Hmm.
140
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,266
My mother called me that.
141
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,206
Eh, you see, this is good.
142
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,244
Go with this. Think of Alcmene.
143
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,711
Alcmene? Huh.
144
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,947
She abandoned me!
145
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,724
Okay. Uh, you know,
something tells me
146
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,521
you're not the guy
I was looking for.
147
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:28,304
Oh, my goodness.
Where has the day gone?
148
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,058
I better be going. Ah!
149
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,654
Getting cold feet, are we?
150
00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:32,892
Oh, uh...
151
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,458
Well, think how I must
feel on my wedding day!
152
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,299
Oh, I'm lucky to have
you as a best man!
153
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,897
Come on!
154
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,507
Oh, come on.
155
00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:44,535
Uh, me? A tyrant?
156
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,580
I mean, you're joking,
right? No, no, you're...
157
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:50,014
You're a heartless psycho that'd
kill at the drop of a mood swing!
158
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,278
Really? Mmm.
159
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,176
Look, need I say more?
160
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,848
Oh, uh, nobody killed
him. He just keeled over.
161
00:10:56,789 --> 00:11:00,282
You're just in time for the
unveiling of my newest exhibition.
162
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,255
That's sick.
163
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,354
Inspired, isn't it?
164
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,729
The leader of the rebels
who are plotting against me,
165
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:07,994
gutted and stuffed
166
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,563
for all to see.
167
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:11,829
Wait a minute.
168
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,505
I know this guy!
169
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,106
You do? Yeah!
170
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,838
Only the last time I saw him,
171
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,945
the Sovereign had him...
172
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,946
Did this happen before you
came through the gateway?
173
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,076
Mmm.
174
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:27,748
Then that explains
how Gravus died.
175
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:30,817
There must be one of
everybody in both worlds,
176
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:33,050
and when one dies...
177
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:36,090
The other one dies
at the same time.
178
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:38,163
That has to be it.
179
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:39,822
Ah,
180
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,792
we could stay here
and admire this all day.
181
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:45,097
But we've got a
wedding to get to.
182
00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:46,469
But... Let's go.
183
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,616
But I keep telling you.
184
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,336
I switched places
with your Iolaus.
185
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,053
I'm not the guy that's
supposed to be here!
186
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:52,511
You always make me laugh. Ah!
187
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:53,689
There'll be a place
for you in Olympus
188
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,648
after I'm hitched to
the queen of the gods.
189
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,513
You're marrying Hera?
190
00:11:58,084 --> 00:11:59,780
The goddess of music?
191
00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:00,911
Don't be ridiculous,
192
00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:03,286
you know very well
I'm marrying Aphrodite.
193
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,414
Aphrodite is queen?
194
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:06,686
Okay.
195
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,490
But wait!
196
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,859
But doesn't that mean
Aphrodite's married already?
197
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:14,594
I mean, Zeus is still
king of the gods, isn't he?
198
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,397
Of course, Zeus is king!
199
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,268
Why are you asking
these idiotic questions?
200
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,140
Start acting like yourself
and start amusing me,
201
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:23,938
or I swear... GUARD: Sovereign!
202
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,144
The queen wishes an audience.
203
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,313
Ah!
204
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,043
Very well. Show her in.
205
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:33,919
She could just pop in,
206
00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:36,088
but she likes to
make an entrance.
207
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:37,415
Great.
208
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:39,024
Aphrodite's my buddy.
209
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,993
She'll help me get
out of this nuthouse.
210
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:44,920
Aphrodite?
211
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:47,261
You're all covered up.
212
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,026
Watch your mouth.
213
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,936
That's my blushing bride.
214
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:57,301
He has a point.
215
00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:00,074
It wouldn't kill you
to let it all hang out.
216
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:01,442
Please, no.
217
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:03,516
It's not ladylike. Oh!
218
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,650
Aphrodite's shy. Wow.
219
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,449
My dear,
220
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:11,955
it gets so empty, with
you gone to Olympus.
221
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:14,953
How is father?
222
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,888
I'm afraid you
know all too well.
223
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:19,992
Zeus is dying.
224
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,593
Zeus is dying? Unbelievable.
225
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,037
I've come to ask
that you call off this
226
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,400
farce of a wedding
before it's too late.
227
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:31,103
You mean, too late
for your precious Zeus.
228
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,238
Have you forgotten our pact?
229
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:38,681
Marry me, and I'll provide
the cure for the poison
230
00:13:40,119 --> 00:13:41,451
that's killing him.
231
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,719
Then I'll get to work
slaughtering every last
232
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:46,555
puny mortal who opposes me,
233
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,362
and leave the world
to my worshippers,
234
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:54,422
while we reign as king
and queen of Olympus,
235
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,565
for eternity.
236
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,419
You're a goddess. Why
don't you stand up to him?
237
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,834
Because she knows better!
238
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:06,511
As should you.
239
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:08,408
I may be a cur,
240
00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:10,847
but I'm the cur with the cure.
241
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:14,551
I like that.
242
00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:16,785
Now, go.
243
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,223
You have a wedding
to prepare for.
244
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,421
And then we're off to
Olympus to launch my plan.
245
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,430
I have waited long enough.
246
00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:27,495
And by the way,
247
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,529
I'm looking forward
to the honeymoon.
248
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,641
You are insane!
249
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:36,971
Oh, thank you.
250
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:41,572
Imagine, a bastard like me
reigning supreme as king of the gods.
251
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:50,449
It's not going to be
as long as you think.
252
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:06,231
You're not going to
punish me, are you?
253
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,806
You wish.
254
00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:12,912
Xena? You're with him?
255
00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:19,183
When I want a
eunuch, I'll ask for you.
256
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:23,812
I see you brought
257
00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:26,050
a new love toy.
258
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,561
Oh, Sov, you're so...
259
00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:32,388
You're so good when you're bad.
260
00:15:42,341 --> 00:15:45,175
Oh, I could play
like this all day.
261
00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:48,812
Unfortunately, I
gotta get married.
262
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,713
Oh, that's all right.
263
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:54,520
We'll have plenty of time
to play after the honeymoon.
264
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,260
Don't ever let her change you.
265
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:07,260
If she has her way, you'll be
wearing a maid's outfit and a collar.
266
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,230
Sounds more like your
style, not Aphrodite's.
267
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:23,272
Ah!
268
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,446
Okay.
269
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,080
Their foreplay's
going to get me killed!
270
00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:34,622
Okay. Enough for now.
271
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,290
Ah!
272
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,430
Oh, I almost forgot.
273
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:49,169
I need a token of my undying love
to present Aphrodite at the wedding.
274
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:52,673
Not that one. It's
my favorite. Hmm.
275
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,377
This will do. Here!
276
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,349
Sit on it until the wedding!
277
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:02,286
You're not going to forget me
when you're married to her, are you?
278
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,290
Don't worry.
279
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,690
You'll be riding my coattails
straight into Olympus,
280
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:09,160
like you planned
all along, right?
281
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:10,858
Little old me?
282
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:16,200
Ah! She's quite
a doll, isn't she?
283
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:19,398
There's a world of scheming
going on behind those baby blues.
284
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,471
If you mean, where would
your plan be without my secret
285
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,534
stash of hind blood, then...
286
00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:28,143
I guess you do kinda need me.
287
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,140
Oh, but, wait! Wait a minute.
288
00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:31,748
Let me get this straight!
289
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:33,809
Go make yourself useful!
290
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,813
Throw me a bachelor
party or something.
291
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,219
Whoa, baby.
292
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:46,629
You are going to scream now.
293
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:56,743
Hey. Not so fast.
294
00:17:57,176 --> 00:17:58,269
Ares?
295
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:02,211
Ares, this is, uh,
a new look for you.
296
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:05,148
What did you expect?
297
00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:06,617
I am the God of Love.
298
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:17,653
That's better.
299
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,332
Now it's a love thing.
300
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,267
I got a favor to ask.
301
00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:35,247
Poor sis is being bullied
into marrying the Sovereign.
302
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:39,646
All of Olympus is helpless as long as
Xena keeps him supplied with hind's blood.
303
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:44,157
Now, if you could keep close tabs,
maybe find out where she's hiding it...
304
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:46,720
Look, I'll do what I can.
305
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:50,229
But you have to understand,
I'm not the Iolaus you think I am.
306
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,231
We switched places.
I'm from another world.
307
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:54,744
And, you know,
it'd really help if you
308
00:18:54,768 --> 00:18:56,624
stood up to the Sovereign
yourself sometime.
309
00:18:56,702 --> 00:19:00,434
Oh, it is times like
this I regret the fact
310
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:04,267
that I'm a lover, not a fighter.
311
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:07,004
Okay.
312
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:11,008
Look, if the Hercules here
313
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,362
is the same as the Hercules
back there, then he can't be all bad.
314
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:15,912
I'll just have to appeal
to that part of him
315
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,014
that's hidden deep inside.
316
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:20,783
I'll be forever grateful.
317
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,158
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
318
00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:24,439
Who's the God of
War around here?
319
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:26,762
Shh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
320
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,528
Don't even think about him.
321
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:32,739
The last thing we need around
here is that maniac Cupid showing up.
322
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,476
Cupid, God of War. Weird.
323
00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:43,125
Then, I was looking behind me,
324
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:47,018
and I could see these horses, and they were
catching up, and then I felt like someone
325
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:49,988
grabbed me by the
neck, and then I was here.
326
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:53,758
Well?
327
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:57,658
He's worse. I tried
feeding him ambrosia broth.
328
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,358
He could barely keep it down.
329
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:03,728
Ares, you and I are going to
have to give Zeus a good, swift kick.
330
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:04,993
Meaning?
331
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:07,264
Talking to Ares, huh?
332
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,137
Saying a little prayer
to the God of Love?
333
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,406
Me, the God of Love?
334
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:13,936
Uh-oh.
335
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,909
Hi, there. Name's Aphrodite,
336
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:23,646
and the, uh, walking
bad attitude is Ares.
337
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:28,117
Ares! Ugh!
338
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,620
What's with the basic black?
339
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:33,188
Last time I saw you, you were
convening the summer of love.
340
00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:37,663
Insolent toad!
341
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:39,337
That's enough, Ares.
342
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:42,131
You want a fight, I'm your man.
343
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,542
You want to have at it again?
344
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:49,015
Why? What are you up to?
345
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:51,940
Well, a little
divine intervention.
346
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:56,619
Like getting Zeus to throw another
lightning fit and reopen the gateway.
347
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:57,748
Yep.
348
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,989
Ordinarily, I'd jump
at a chance like this,
349
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:04,588
but, uh, the prospect
of Zeus dying
350
00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:06,962
is not something I'd considered.
351
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,725
Maybe it's time for the old man to
step aside for some new blood, huh?
352
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,470
And I wonder who that would be.
353
00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:14,704
Who better?
354
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,367
Ares, he's your father.
355
00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:20,245
He always liked you
two better than me!
356
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,344
I'm out of here.
357
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:32,356
Ares, the God of Love.
358
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:35,651
Weird.
359
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:46,335
Where's my food taster?
360
00:21:49,408 --> 00:21:51,639
Sovereign, I'd really
like to have a word.
361
00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:54,373
Later. I have to make
an announcement first.
362
00:21:58,551 --> 00:21:59,575
Oh!
363
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:02,781
Today is my wedding day.
364
00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:04,414
To celebrate, I've
decided to reduce
365
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:07,119
the prison population
by clearing a few cells.
366
00:22:07,193 --> 00:22:08,661
Praise you, Sovereign.
367
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:12,192
You're setting them free!
Way to go! This is good.
368
00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:15,665
Who said anything about free?
369
00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:19,932
Move along! Move
along! Come on! Let's go!
370
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:21,974
Release the executioner.
371
00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:47,678
- Stand back!
- Give him room!
372
00:22:51,670 --> 00:22:54,572
Wait! You can't do this!
373
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:57,372
There's gotta be a better
way to get your kicks.
374
00:22:57,443 --> 00:22:58,638
Today, of all days.
375
00:22:59,144 --> 00:23:01,443
You are supposed to amuse me.
376
00:23:01,914 --> 00:23:03,434
You haven't been
doing a very good job.
377
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:08,180
Ah. Well, hey. Give me half
a chance. I'm a million laughs!
378
00:23:08,587 --> 00:23:10,317
You ain't seen nothing yet!
379
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:13,693
Oh, very well. Make me laugh,
380
00:23:13,759 --> 00:23:16,661
and I'll spare their
miserable lives.
381
00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:26,637
The Sovereign is his name
His game is fear and pain
382
00:23:26,705 --> 00:23:28,196
He'll watch 'em
die Won't even cry
383
00:23:28,274 --> 00:23:30,799
He really is insane
384
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:36,208
Pitiful, pitiful.
385
00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:41,619
He's really very funny!
386
00:23:42,354 --> 00:23:44,152
Oh, come on,
Sovereign, give it up!
387
00:23:44,223 --> 00:23:47,022
The poor guy's pouring
his heart out here.
388
00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:49,459
I've seen funnier.
389
00:23:51,730 --> 00:23:55,929
This really ain't magic.
They call me Herc's sidekick.
390
00:23:57,303 --> 00:23:59,568
If this don't work
I'll be a wreck, and...
391
00:23:59,672 --> 00:24:01,163
And we'll all lose our necks?
392
00:24:01,707 --> 00:24:02,731
Hey, that's great!
393
00:24:08,380 --> 00:24:13,182
Amazing. She can smile without
cracking that frigid little face.
394
00:24:13,252 --> 00:24:16,051
One of these days, I'd like
to crack something of yours.
395
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,214
Ooh.
396
00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:19,686
His girlfriend Xena's crass.
397
00:24:19,758 --> 00:24:21,192
A heartless witch, no class.
398
00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:24,196
If Zeus were well, he'd cast
spell and knock her on her...
399
00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:30,468
Oh, boy. Tough
crowd. Tough crowd.
400
00:24:31,070 --> 00:24:32,070
Enough!
401
00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:35,399
You have failed.
402
00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:41,276
Let their deaths
be on your head.
403
00:24:44,683 --> 00:24:47,983
Stop! Please! Think about it.
404
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:52,651
The Hercules I know, he's
not a monster. He's a hero.
405
00:24:53,792 --> 00:24:56,762
Come on. Listen to your heart.
406
00:25:03,836 --> 00:25:05,099
My...
407
00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:11,000
My... My heart?
Now, that is funny.
408
00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:15,280
You did it. You really did it.
409
00:25:17,216 --> 00:25:19,481
What is this? You
promised me an execution.
410
00:25:19,551 --> 00:25:21,281
I did, didn't I?
411
00:25:35,567 --> 00:25:36,796
You said you'd spare them!
412
00:25:37,836 --> 00:25:39,134
Oops. Oops.
413
00:25:43,909 --> 00:25:46,902
Uh, you could use
an attitude adjustment.
414
00:25:48,013 --> 00:25:49,311
Lock him up.
415
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:53,284
No! Come on, Herc!
You can't do this to me!
416
00:26:04,129 --> 00:26:06,121
Go ahead. Make 'em laugh.
417
00:26:08,267 --> 00:26:10,395
You? What are you doing...
418
00:26:14,807 --> 00:26:15,831
Shut up, scum.
419
00:26:17,876 --> 00:26:20,710
Joxer. You pack a heck
of a punch in this world.
420
00:26:21,747 --> 00:26:23,306
Yeah, get him
and rip his face off.
421
00:26:23,882 --> 00:26:26,784
I'm going to enjoy tearing the
Sovereign's bootlicker apart,
422
00:26:26,852 --> 00:26:28,753
limb by limb.
423
00:26:30,289 --> 00:26:33,851
When you're ready to apologize
to the Sovereign, give a yell.
424
00:26:34,493 --> 00:26:36,894
Till then, enjoy
your new friends.
425
00:26:42,401 --> 00:26:43,699
Yeah, they're gone. All clear.
426
00:26:47,139 --> 00:26:49,131
Sorry, Iolaus. I had
to make it look real.
427
00:26:49,374 --> 00:26:52,208
Oh, right. Yeah.
That was very good.
428
00:26:52,778 --> 00:26:54,058
If they thought
you were with us,
429
00:26:54,379 --> 00:26:56,041
you'd be dead now.
430
00:26:57,950 --> 00:27:02,183
You know, uh, when Gravus
got killed and you ran away?
431
00:27:03,889 --> 00:27:06,051
We were afraid you'd
never come back again.
432
00:27:07,192 --> 00:27:09,260
You're the rebels the
Sovereign was talking about.
433
00:27:09,284 --> 00:27:10,284
- That's right.
434
00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:19,795
Here. You can use this.
435
00:27:20,539 --> 00:27:21,598
What for?
436
00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:24,602
To cut the cake? Quit joking.
437
00:27:24,776 --> 00:27:26,437
If you're going to
assassinate the Sovereign,
438
00:27:26,461 --> 00:27:27,922
you better start
taking this seriously.
439
00:27:27,946 --> 00:27:30,711
Me? An assassin? Forget it!
440
00:27:30,949 --> 00:27:33,009
It all depends on you.
You're the only he trusts.
441
00:27:33,085 --> 00:27:35,247
You're the only one who
can get close enough to...
442
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,779
Now, look. He's going to be at his most
vulnerable when he says his wedding vows.
443
00:27:38,857 --> 00:27:41,349
And that's going to be
your best and last chance.
444
00:27:41,426 --> 00:27:44,021
Joxer, there's got
to be another way.
445
00:27:44,096 --> 00:27:46,429
I mean, you're talking about
killing a man in cold blood.
446
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:48,262
It's not a man.
It's the Sovereign.
447
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:51,064
It's the most bloodthirsty monster
in this world or on Olympus.
448
00:27:51,703 --> 00:27:54,798
Iolaus, you're our only hope.
449
00:27:57,743 --> 00:28:01,145
It's gotta be done. Maybe
if I got a second chance
450
00:28:01,180 --> 00:28:03,740
I could be more
like your friend.
451
00:28:03,815 --> 00:28:06,284
More man than mouse.
452
00:28:08,487 --> 00:28:10,388
Whatever destiny
you were fated for,
453
00:28:10,455 --> 00:28:13,118
it looks like Iolaus has
stepped into your shoes.
454
00:28:13,792 --> 00:28:15,761
The shoes of an assassin.
455
00:28:16,795 --> 00:28:19,390
Oh, I'm such a spineless coward.
456
00:28:21,133 --> 00:28:25,195
I ran away from the only brave
thing anybody's ever asked me to do.
457
00:28:26,905 --> 00:28:28,567
He's killing Zeus!
458
00:28:30,008 --> 00:28:32,568
And after that, it'll be
the rest of the world.
459
00:28:33,111 --> 00:28:36,377
All except his followers, who go
together to make his great master race.
460
00:28:38,584 --> 00:28:40,314
Oh, it just hit me.
461
00:28:40,886 --> 00:28:42,821
When the Sovereign
killed Gravus,
462
00:28:42,888 --> 00:28:44,857
he died here, which means...
463
00:28:45,524 --> 00:28:48,619
If the Sovereign is killed, I may
die at the same time. Yeah, I know.
464
00:28:48,694 --> 00:28:51,493
I thought of that
already. Come on.
465
00:28:53,532 --> 00:28:56,832
Zeus isn't the only one
who needs a good, swift kick.
466
00:29:07,112 --> 00:29:08,944
Herc, is this the time
for a temper tantrum?
467
00:29:09,314 --> 00:29:11,442
It is if it gets
Ares' attention.
468
00:29:11,516 --> 00:29:14,247
Ares, you fake! You're a coward!
469
00:29:14,987 --> 00:29:17,684
Yeah! Yeah! Come
on, Ares! Get down here!
470
00:29:18,023 --> 00:29:19,685
I'm calling you out, Ares!
471
00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:21,636
Yeah! Come out, come
out, wherever you are!
472
00:29:21,660 --> 00:29:26,098
Ares, this whole basic black
thing is, like, so five minutes ago.
473
00:29:35,974 --> 00:29:37,738
Well,
474
00:29:38,910 --> 00:29:40,936
have you made up your mind?
475
00:29:42,180 --> 00:29:45,617
This won't mean anything to
you, but where I come from,
476
00:29:45,684 --> 00:29:48,848
your Sovereign is
the best man I know.
477
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:52,648
And don't tell me the
stakes. I know what they are.
478
00:29:52,724 --> 00:29:55,694
Genocide, the end of
the world as we know it.
479
00:29:56,161 --> 00:29:57,823
Both our worlds!
480
00:29:57,896 --> 00:30:00,263
And it's not as if I
haven't taken a life before.
481
00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:03,496
It's just... It's always been
in self-defense. Never in...
482
00:30:04,936 --> 00:30:05,936
Never in cold blood.
483
00:30:09,374 --> 00:30:12,242
Whatever we've become, it's
what the Sovereign made us.
484
00:30:13,178 --> 00:30:15,113
But if we have to become
as coldblooded as him,
485
00:30:17,282 --> 00:30:18,443
then so be it.
486
00:30:19,518 --> 00:30:21,510
Yeah, it's really
simple, isn't it?
487
00:30:22,054 --> 00:30:23,078
Yeah.
488
00:30:23,555 --> 00:30:25,581
In order to save the world,
489
00:30:26,191 --> 00:30:28,422
I've got to kill my best friend
490
00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:30,173
and all the future good
he would have done.
491
00:30:33,565 --> 00:30:36,364
In your heart, you
know it's the only way.
492
00:30:39,371 --> 00:30:42,000
What would Hercules
say if he was here?
493
00:30:43,241 --> 00:30:47,201
He'd tell me to do what's
best for the greater good.
494
00:30:51,249 --> 00:30:52,877
Okay. I'll do it.
495
00:31:01,660 --> 00:31:02,684
Guards!
496
00:31:06,398 --> 00:31:08,299
I'm ready to apologize.
497
00:31:09,267 --> 00:31:11,236
Take me to the Sovereign.
498
00:31:22,848 --> 00:31:24,646
All right! That's enough!
499
00:31:26,752 --> 00:31:28,653
Oh! I'm just getting started!
500
00:31:31,590 --> 00:31:33,456
He's really mad. Look!
501
00:31:33,525 --> 00:31:35,653
He's got smoke
coming out of his ears.
502
00:31:36,194 --> 00:31:38,629
Ares, don't wig out on us.
503
00:31:44,169 --> 00:31:46,900
That's it, pretty boy!
Let's step outside!
504
00:32:06,658 --> 00:32:08,559
Glad you could make it.
505
00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:10,627
I'd hate to disappoint you.
506
00:32:10,695 --> 00:32:11,788
Mmm.
507
00:32:19,571 --> 00:32:21,369
You look lovely
in virginal black.
508
00:32:24,042 --> 00:32:25,408
About old Zeus,
509
00:32:25,477 --> 00:32:27,309
is it true that he throws
those thunderbolts
510
00:32:27,379 --> 00:32:29,499
'cause they're the only
thing about him big and stiff?
511
00:32:31,216 --> 00:32:32,616
Well, is it?
512
00:32:39,691 --> 00:32:42,320
It is my sad duty
to join this man
513
00:32:43,562 --> 00:32:45,463
and this woman in
unholy matrimony.
514
00:32:46,231 --> 00:32:48,200
If anyone present
objects to this union,
515
00:32:48,834 --> 00:32:51,633
speak now or forever
hold your peace.
516
00:32:52,637 --> 00:32:54,299
Please, someone. Speak.
517
00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:03,881
Nope. Nobody objects.
518
00:33:06,251 --> 00:33:07,251
Get on with it.
519
00:33:08,386 --> 00:33:09,581
Do you have the necklace?
520
00:33:11,256 --> 00:33:13,384
You're on, fool. Oh.
521
00:33:33,278 --> 00:33:34,337
Thank you.
522
00:33:45,624 --> 00:33:47,456
My bride,
523
00:33:49,427 --> 00:33:53,626
we are going to rule
supreme, you and I...
524
00:33:54,466 --> 00:33:56,662
with all Olympus at our feet,
525
00:33:56,735 --> 00:33:59,762
all mankind at our
mercy. It's so beautiful.
526
00:34:01,306 --> 00:34:04,572
I now regretfully
pronounce you king
527
00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:07,376
and queen.
528
00:34:08,179 --> 00:34:10,671
Ugh! Oh, go ahead. Fight me.
529
00:34:11,983 --> 00:34:13,144
I'll enjoy it.
530
00:34:14,786 --> 00:34:16,448
Forgive me, Hercules.
531
00:34:18,957 --> 00:34:21,153
I didn't think you had
it in you, old friend.
532
00:34:21,259 --> 00:34:22,488
Ah!
533
00:34:46,284 --> 00:34:47,775
Fun's over.
534
00:35:11,242 --> 00:35:12,266
Thanks!
535
00:35:12,344 --> 00:35:13,835
It worked!
536
00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:17,415
I helped him?
537
00:35:29,461 --> 00:35:31,453
I'm sorry. Did that hurt?
538
00:35:32,931 --> 00:35:35,423
No, but that did.
539
00:35:38,236 --> 00:35:39,966
Get up there! That
crowd's in an ugly mood!
540
00:35:40,038 --> 00:35:41,563
Yes, sir! Hurry!
541
00:35:42,307 --> 00:35:43,507
What's happening? Somebody was
542
00:35:43,575 --> 00:35:46,545
foolish enough to try
and kill the Sovereign.
543
00:35:46,611 --> 00:35:48,807
Now he's paying the price.
544
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:52,248
It's a diversion. Look,
make me a deal, and I'll...
545
00:35:52,884 --> 00:35:54,546
I'll finger the real assassin.
546
00:35:56,721 --> 00:35:59,748
If you know
something, you'll spill it,
547
00:35:59,858 --> 00:36:02,384
or I'll... Okay,
okay. It's, um... It's...
548
00:36:06,631 --> 00:36:08,156
Let's go! Come on!
549
00:36:16,641 --> 00:36:18,769
I am very disappointed in you.
550
00:36:19,411 --> 00:36:20,435
Hey.
551
00:36:44,069 --> 00:36:47,062
Ah! Get off of me, you witch!
552
00:37:12,430 --> 00:37:13,728
Get out of here!
553
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,355
I noticed before you're
awfully fond of that pendant.
554
00:37:38,656 --> 00:37:40,750
Well, a girl's nothing
without her baubles.
555
00:37:40,825 --> 00:37:42,817
The Xena I know is a
lot smarter than that.
556
00:37:42,894 --> 00:37:44,453
My guess, you are, too!
557
00:37:46,865 --> 00:37:48,231
Gimme, gimme!
558
00:37:48,299 --> 00:37:49,961
Yeah. Like I thought.
559
00:37:50,034 --> 00:37:52,833
This is the hind's blood you're
using to poison Zeus with.
560
00:37:52,904 --> 00:37:54,566
He's got the hind's blood!
561
00:37:54,639 --> 00:37:55,663
Get him!
562
00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:03,070
Quick! They've lost their secret
weapon! Show them your stuff!
563
00:38:03,581 --> 00:38:05,072
With pleasure.
564
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:17,028
I'll get you, little goddess!
565
00:38:18,163 --> 00:38:19,756
Eat cake, baby!
566
00:38:26,204 --> 00:38:28,173
Why, I oughta...
567
00:38:31,109 --> 00:38:33,840
Empty calories are no calories!
568
00:38:56,734 --> 00:38:58,396
Release the executioner!
569
00:38:58,503 --> 00:38:59,732
Yeah!
570
00:39:16,454 --> 00:39:17,581
Chill out.
571
00:39:26,231 --> 00:39:29,326
Where's that Trojan
elephant that stopped me?
572
00:39:39,677 --> 00:39:40,940
Goodbye.
573
00:39:46,117 --> 00:39:47,449
Hercules did it.
574
00:39:47,518 --> 00:39:49,646
I gotta go. We'll
take it from here.
575
00:39:50,755 --> 00:39:52,383
Go with the gods.
576
00:40:12,677 --> 00:40:15,875
Guys, I think we should talk.
577
00:40:25,857 --> 00:40:28,417
Guess I have more
skills than I thought.
578
00:40:32,096 --> 00:40:34,759
I don't know if I can be
a hero when I get back!
579
00:40:35,366 --> 00:40:38,131
But I'm going to try!
That's all any of us can do!
580
00:40:38,202 --> 00:40:40,296
Good luck, my friend! Thanks!
581
00:40:51,015 --> 00:40:52,039
No!
582
00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:56,477
Ha-ha!
583
00:41:00,358 --> 00:41:01,758
Run, Iolaus!
584
00:41:20,511 --> 00:41:21,672
No.
585
00:41:26,584 --> 00:41:27,984
No!
586
00:41:40,131 --> 00:41:42,999
Hercules, you have no
idea how close that was.
587
00:41:44,435 --> 00:41:46,700
He has a pendant
full of hind blood.
588
00:41:46,804 --> 00:41:48,170
Hind blood?
589
00:41:49,307 --> 00:41:52,243
Well, hopefully he's trapped
between both worlds now.
590
00:41:53,011 --> 00:41:54,809
Guess we better go
see how Dad's doing.
591
00:41:55,713 --> 00:41:57,306
Good to have you back, Curly.
592
00:41:57,382 --> 00:42:00,682
How I hate happy endings.
593
00:42:05,957 --> 00:42:06,981
You know,
594
00:42:07,859 --> 00:42:09,760
I almost did a terrible
thing over there.
595
00:42:09,827 --> 00:42:11,955
You did what you
had to do, Iolaus.
596
00:42:12,030 --> 00:42:15,296
I'm just glad it didn't
work out like you planned.
597
00:42:15,366 --> 00:42:18,666
So, do you think I look better
with a beard or without a beard?
598
00:42:20,571 --> 00:42:21,834
Ah, well.
39532
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