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1
00:00:03,571 --> 00:00:05,573
Hwah!
2
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:06,606
Hwah! Freeze!
3
00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:10,411
Hwah!
4
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:15,283
- Let me out!
- Well, let me out.
5
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:16,450
Hwah!
6
00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:17,585
Wow.
7
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,419
Hwah!
8
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:30,664
Hello, everybody!
9
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:33,101
It's your boy Sheriff.
10
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:37,071
Man, I am so excited to be
on my favorite show, "Sheriffs."
11
00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:38,472
I'm probably
the toughest sheriff
12
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,274
you guys have ever filmed.
13
00:00:40,308 --> 00:00:41,542
Isn't that right, Abigail?
14
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,311
"That's right, Sheriff.
15
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:45,813
But don't forget,
today is Momma's birthday."
16
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:49,117
Oh, that's right, Abigail!
This is Momma.
17
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:52,253
Today's her birthday and I have
no idea what to get her.
18
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:58,826
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
19
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,661
- mmm.
- Sheriff, we have a 237
20
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,264
- on South Street.
- Oh, a two three sev...
21
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:04,598
What's a 237?
22
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,702
Aah! Get your ass
away from me, pervert!
23
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,504
Aah, ga, ga, ga,
ga, ga!
24
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,173
All right, all right!
25
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,607
Break it up.
26
00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:16,177
Somebody wanna tell me
what's goin' on here?
27
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,446
I was here just tryin'
to sell my products
28
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,314
and this mime
tried to hump me!
29
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:22,416
Linda don't just be
givin' it away, Sheriff!
30
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,517
She holdin' out!
31
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:24,818
- Mm-hmm.
- Is this true, mime?
32
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:30,591
Yeah.
33
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,860
All right, well,
his story checks out.
34
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,662
- You're free to go, mime.
- Hey!
35
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:37,665
So, Linda, whatcha
selling today, huh?
36
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,468
I need to get Momma
something for her birthday.
37
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,370
How about these earrings?!
38
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:43,537
Eh, I don't know.
39
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:48,209
Get back here,
you humping mime!
40
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,380
Well, the thing
about humpin' mimes is
41
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:53,847
you never hear them comin',
42
00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:56,550
but I'll find 'im.
Sooner or later,
43
00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:58,786
every bad guy
has to face the sher...
44
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,854
Sheriff, we have
a two nine si...
45
00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:03,857
Uh, robbery in progress
at Old Town Gas.
46
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:06,894
Ah, that's my boy
Carl's place!
47
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:07,595
Yeah, hurry up...
48
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,330
Put all the money in the bag!
49
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:10,664
Hold it right there, robber!
50
00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:12,500
You okay, Carl?
51
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:13,634
Carl's cool.
52
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,236
Yeah, I guess
I'm fine, Sheriff.
53
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:17,738
Just calm down, Carl!
I'll handle this!
54
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,673
Now, listen here, robber!
55
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:25,279
Oh, money would be a great gift
to give Momma for her birthday!
56
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,581
You can't give your momma
money for her birthday.
57
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,851
Do something more
thoughtful! Like, uh...
58
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,187
buy her a nice
dinner or something.
59
00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:34,922
Gee, thanks, mister!
60
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:37,258
Hey, Carl, you got
any nice dinners here?
61
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,727
- Um, uh, Sheriff, I...
- Actually, oh look!
62
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,695
This'll do great, Carl!
63
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:43,331
Momma's Favorite Beans!
64
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:45,433
It's perfect!
65
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:46,900
- Sheriff.
- What, Carl?!
66
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,270
Jeez, man, I'm in the middle
of something, dude!
67
00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:52,206
Uh, the robber got away
with my money?
68
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:58,546
All right, we're lookin' for
the humpin' mime and the robber.
69
00:02:58,579 --> 00:02:59,947
But in the meantime,
70
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,816
I got the perfect birthday
present for Momma!
71
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,218
Ha, booyah.
72
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,855
Oh, sorry, Goodmans.
73
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,758
Hello Sheriff. Hey!
I see you're filming there.
74
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,793
Hi, my name is...
No no no no no.
75
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,862
This is my show.
Say, uh,
76
00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:17,631
you guys seen
a humpin' mime or a robber?
77
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,833
No. But I've seen
a car-thief!
78
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,469
What?
79
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:22,770
- Hey!
- My car now.
80
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:23,637
Hey.
81
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,306
Bye, car-thief!
82
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:26,774
Bye, Mr. Pickles!
83
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:29,743
Oh, no! Momma's birthday
present was in there!
84
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,547
All right,
85
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,316
we're lookin'
for the humpin' mime,
86
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,251
the robber, and the car-thief.
87
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:38,852
Aah! My cruiser!
88
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:40,788
Don't worry, folks.
89
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,656
We got Momma's beans back.
90
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,825
Phew! Wait a minute.
91
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:47,661
What's this barbecue sauce
doin' here?
92
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:50,298
It's leadin' up
into these woods.
93
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,641
Car-thief must be havin'
a barbecue
94
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:52,966
up here in these woods.
95
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,002
Let's follow this trail,
see where it leads.
96
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,837
What?
You're not a car-thief!
97
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:59,907
- You're a car-thief donkey-sexer!
- Woof!
98
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,775
Hey, stop sexing that donkey
99
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,644
and put your hands
where I can see 'em!
100
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,314
All right, come on,
101
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,282
car-thief donkey-sexer.
102
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:11,919
Aah! Hey, midget!
You're supposed to be in jail!
103
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,921
We prefer to be
called little people!
104
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,956
Those are Momma's beans!
105
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,859
- Not anymore.
- Hey, get back here!
106
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:21,495
Those are for my momma-a-a-a-a!
107
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:26,033
Well, that midget took
my clothes and my gun,
108
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:28,802
but at least I still got
Momma's birthday present...
109
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,038
What's left of it, anyway.
110
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,873
Where'd the car-thief
donkey-sexer go?
111
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:35,709
Hey, stop eating my engine,
112
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:37,611
you stupid donkey!
113
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:40,948
All right, we're lookin'
114
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,317
for a humpin' mime, a robber,
115
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:45,953
- Hey. Hey, I'm on TV!
- An escaped midget convict,
116
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,055
and the car-thief donkey-sexer.
117
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,890
Put some clothes on,
Sheriff!
118
00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,392
Oh, hey, Mrs. Milton.
119
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,993
Sorry, a midget took my clothes.
120
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,362
I'll tell ya about it later.
121
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,629
First things first,
122
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,731
I have to go home
and get some new clothes.
123
00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:58,899
Sheriff! Help!
124
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,901
Uh, what seems to be
125
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:03,737
- the problem, huh?
- These bad boys keep sneaking
126
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:06,073
into the club
and peeping at the girls.
127
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:08,041
Yeah, we saw
all their naked parts.
128
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,677
There were these parts.
129
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:10,978
Eh woo, hoo hoo ha ha!
130
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,681
Yeah, and this part.
131
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:14,874
Ohhh! And then they did this.
132
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,520
Stop that! They probably
can't show that on TV.
133
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,589
Hey, uh, you know, I've
been working on an idea
134
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,558
for a TV show, if you guys
want to hear about it.
135
00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:25,926
No no no no.
This is my show.
136
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:28,896
Bouncer, we need
more stringless tampons.
137
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,765
Sheriff? Why are you naked
with a can of beans?
138
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,100
My sister, Candy.
139
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:35,736
She always gives Momma
the better present,
140
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:36,937
but not this time.
141
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,872
I got Momma these beans.
142
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,408
Seriously?
143
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,776
You think a partially
eaten can of beans
144
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,378
is a good
birthday present?
145
00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:46,780
Well, it was full before
a midget ate some.
146
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:48,015
Bad news, Sheriff:
147
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,883
I'm already takin'
Momma to dinner.
148
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,019
- What?!
- At the fancy restaurant!
149
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,754
You need to be there at 7:00.
150
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,823
With your can of beans.
151
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,858
Aw, dang it!
152
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,059
- Let's get outta here!
- Hey!
153
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,928
You're just gonna
let them get away?
154
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,563
Quick, donkey,
go get them!
155
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:06,900
Candy, you got any clothes
I can borrow?
156
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:12,406
All right, we're lookin' for the
humpin' mime, the robber,
157
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,008
the car-thief donkey-sexer,
the midget convict,
158
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,644
and the bad boys,
159
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:19,747
but I still need a gift
for Momma's birthday!
160
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,782
Hey, look, a gift shop!
161
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:22,983
Where are you going?
162
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,452
Shouldn't you be working?
163
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:26,153
Uh, but I need a gift
164
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,622
for Momma...
Oh, right, here you are.
165
00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:31,959
- Aah, it's perfect!
- Now go get to the humping.
166
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,428
Oh, I know. I got humped, too.
167
00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:36,063
Say what?!
Yo, where that money at?
168
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,165
Oh, there was this robber who...
169
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:41,168
- Someone stole from you?
- Yep, took my cruiser.
170
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,803
And then there was
this donkey-sex thing.
171
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,672
- What?!
- Oh! You dirty bitch.
172
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,507
I told you we tryin'
to run a classy business!
173
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,942
No, I didn't have sex
with the donkey.
174
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,478
- Oh, sorry!
- Thanks.
175
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:51,955
- Yeah, then this midget...
- Midget?!
176
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:53,747
They prefer to be called
little people,
177
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:55,483
- you offensive.
- All: Bitch!
178
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:58,051
Right, he told me that
before he forced me to strip.
179
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:00,788
You were at the strip club.
180
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,490
Then you must have
some tips, hmm...?
181
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:05,859
Yeah, here's a tip: Those
bad boys went that way.
182
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:07,695
But, don't worry,
I'll find 'em.
183
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:08,962
- Right, fellas?
- Huh?
184
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,698
Hey, I'm on TV!
185
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,733
No, no, this is my show!
186
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,468
Bitch,
don't you talk back to me!
187
00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:15,536
That's it!
188
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,004
You're under arrest!
189
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:19,172
- Oh, no, undercover sheriff!
- Get off off of him!
190
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:21,709
- Run, bitches!
- Get back here!
191
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:25,846
We're lookin' for
the humpin' mime, the robber,
192
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,481
the car-thief donkey-sexer,
193
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:29,182
the escaped midget convict,
the bad boys,
194
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:30,684
and the pimp
and the prostitutes.
195
00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:32,953
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
196
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,187
They went this way.
197
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:38,025
Oh, this place
is pretty creepy.
198
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,193
Never even noticed
this place before.
199
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:41,227
Mm, what's this?
200
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:44,965
Pretty weird stuff, man.
201
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,235
Yeah, you should be scared,
No!
202
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,203
- 'Cause you're under arrest.
- No!
203
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:54,007
The car-thief donkey-sexer
is here, too!
204
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,276
Aah! That's not
a car-thief donkey-sexer.
205
00:07:57,344 --> 00:08:00,280
That's a car-thief
donkey-sexer murderer.
206
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,249
Hey, come back here,
207
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:05,519
car-thief donkey-sexer murderer!
208
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:07,821
Make sure you're rollin'.
209
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,495
You're gonna get
the good stuff now, baby.
210
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,602
All right, check it,
we got a car-thief
211
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,262
donkey-sexer murderer
on the loose.
212
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,765
Well, good thing Old Town's
got a really tough sheriff.
213
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:18,999
Help! Ohhh!
214
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,634
Aah! What was that?!
215
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,870
Uh, like I was sayin',
216
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,838
no matter how scary
things get...
217
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,742
I swear I heard something.
218
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:31,879
Oh, man, I almost went
pee-pee in my panties.
219
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:35,583
I-I mean, no matter
how scary things get,
220
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:39,119
a sheriff must always wear
a badge of courage.
221
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:45,759
You guys can edit some
of this stuff out, right?
222
00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:48,596
Car-thief donkey-sexer murderer!
223
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,130
Come out with your hands up,
224
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:52,132
or I will make my gun go.
225
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,101
"Bang, bang, bang!
Pow, pow!"
226
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,268
Sheriff talk.
227
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:57,571
- No, don't do that, dog!
- What?
228
00:08:57,605 --> 00:09:00,608
I'm not your dog, dawg.
I'm the sheriff!
229
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:01,975
Come out with your hands up.
230
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,811
No! What are you
doin', dog?!
231
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:04,954
What do you think I'm doin'?
232
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,213
I'm puttin' you in jail!
233
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,148
No, don't put me
in there!
234
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,983
Well, if you don't wanna
go to jail,
235
00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:12,152
then don't be a criminal,
you silly head.
236
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:14,888
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
237
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,299
- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
- Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
238
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,224
Stop right there!
239
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:18,926
- Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
- Or I will shoot!
240
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,962
Damn, bitch!
241
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,765
He's dead.
242
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:28,702
Whah?! Oh, no! I'm late
for Momma's birthday dinner!
243
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:31,104
Oh, but I can't go,
dressed like thi-i-i-s!
244
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:35,275
- What are you doin' here, Mr. Pickles?
- Arf!
245
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,946
Momma!
246
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,347
Sheriff?!
247
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,850
I was trying to find you
the perfect present all day,
248
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,317
but I failed,
249
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,319
and now I don't have
anything to give you.
250
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,355
But, Sheriff,
251
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,057
you did give me a present.
252
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,925
Hey, that's me!
253
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:54,628
My boy is a hero.
254
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,930
And that's the best present
a momma could get.
255
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,668
Happy Birthday, Momma.
256
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,169
Gotcha, Candy.
257
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:06,139
- Are we ready to order?
- Yes, I'll have the beans.
258
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,174
In a can, please.
259
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,842
Seriously?!
260
00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:12,212
Oh, looks like I got you
another present, Momma.
261
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,715
- Ha! Mine now!
- Hey, get back here,
262
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:17,017
midge-e-e-e-e-e-e-t!
263
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:22,756
Well, we'll find that
little stinker, eventually.
264
00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:24,191
You can hide, but you can't run.
265
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,726
- Help! Hey!
- I mean,
266
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,370
- Stop looking up my dress!
- You can run...
267
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:28,537
- Get back here! Aaaaaaah!
- Wait, you can run...
268
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,764
Look, basically, I'm sayin'...
Help, he's robbin' me!
269
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,133
Nothin' gets past me,
'cause, sooner or later
270
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,410
- every bad guy has to face.
- Oh, help!
271
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:36,904
- This mime is humping me.
- The sheriff!
272
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:45,946
- Hi, Will.
- Hi, Dave.
19300
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