All language subtitles for Kettle of Fish En

[music playing]

Have I been here before?

MEL (VOICEOVER): Let's face it.

You lead a pretty good life.

I want to play you
like a glockenspiel.

MEL (VOICEOVER):
You got it going on.

A decent job, good friends.

[cuffs rattling]

Does my intelligence
frighten you?

MEL (VOICEOVER): What can I say?

You're a rock and
roll kind of guy.

[mel playing the sax]

My dad totally music.

Actually, you look
kind of like him.

[band playing]

Don't you just love babies?

They're so cute and helpless.

Daphne, I'm home.

[keys clatter]

What's the matter?

Are you upset because I
didn't come home last night?

Is that it?

Come on.

Look at me.

All right.

Fine.

[playing sax]

[light piano music playing]

[applause]

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

I'd like to dedicate
this last song

to Mindy, my wife of 23 years,
whose birthday it is today.

I love you, baby.

You make every day count.

[playing piano]

BARTENDER: Happy
Father's Day, man.

I don't have any kids.

OK.

My bad.

They told me to use my judgment.

[lips smacking]

I'm going to check out, OK?

All right.

[giggles] Hey, Mel, you
sounded real good tonight.

Oh, thank you.

You ever think life didn't
turn out like you planned?

Not lately.

Do you ever wonder,
is this all there is?

Far as I know.

Feel like lending a hand?

And how do you account
for the fact that, halfway

through your adult life,
one day, you wake up

and you wonder, how the
hell did I get here?

Where did I go wrong?

I just thought that things
would be different, that I

would have met somebody by now.

Life would make sense.

You can't relate to
any of this, can you?

Nope.

You're a lucky man.

[music on radio]

Oh, look, I found the
last piece of the barn.

Oh, yes you did.

Now let's see if we can
find the milkmaid's head.

Or we could take
a little break.

We already took a little break
before finishing the windmill.

[giggles]

Ah, found it.

Ugh, I remember we used to go
on picnics to places like this.

I was still a little
girl at the time.

And me and Olga--

that's older sister-- we
used to beg our mother

to make surstromming, which is
kind of a fermented herring,

you know?

Mm.

Ah, yes.

It tastes so good with tunnbrod.

But then there was
this one time we didn't

realize that someone had
left the surstromming

outside in the sun.

Let's move in together.

What?

Yeah.

Let's move in together.

[soft laugh]

You did what?

Why are you so surprised?

You're the one that's
always preaching

maturity and compromise.

Yeah, but I didn't
think you were

going to do anything about it.

Since when do you listen?

You're making me feel
like it's a bad idea.

No.

I mean, it might turn out great.

It better.

I'm subletting my apartment.

[knock on door]

Yeah.

Coming.

Ginger Thomas.

We spoke on the telephone.

Yeah.

Mel.

Come on in.

Hmm.

You're English.

Yes.

I know.

Oh, I'm still in the process
of cleaning things up.

Hmm.

Have you been showing
the flat a lot?

Actually, no.

You're the first
person to look at it.

And the rent is
$1,500 a month?

That's right.

May I see the wash room?

Yeah.

Help yourself.

Ah.

The left.

Thank you.

Sorry.

[toilet flushes]

Yes.

Well, this would be
quite convenient.

It's right near my work.

MEL: I think I explained
to you that this

is part of a trial arrangement,
so you'll have to be flexible.

Right.

[curtain rings rattle]

You also said I might
have it for six months.

[shower running]

Well, that's a
possibility, but I

was thinking of the
shorter term to begin with.

You did.

[clears throat] Which
way is the bedroom?

[music playing]

MEL: I was taking a
week to start off.

You're joking.

Or a couple of weeks.

Just to make sure that
things are working out.

Oh, no.

I couldn't possibly take
for less than a month.

[screams]

I was wondering
where these were.

[cuffs rattle]

Hmm.

[clears throat]

So I'll come around tomorrow
and go over the paperwork.

In the meantime, I have a
short biography, a letter

from the bank, and, of course,
professional references

from the clinic.

Oh, you're a doctor?

An amphibian behaviorist.

Frogs, mainly.

Oh, great.

So do we have an agreement?

Do I have a choice?

[light chuckle] Oh, good.

OK.

Good.

[music playing]

[sighs]

[horns honking]

[cork squeaks]

WOMAN: I wouldn't.

[laughs] Stop it.

It'll probably cost extra.

It's going to be
all right, honey.

No it won't.

Bruce has a thing
about me being late.

[horns honking]

[thud]

Oh my gracious.

Is that man hurt?

What the hell's
the matter with you?

Huh?
You didn't see this?

He looks just fine to me.

[music playing]

Schmuck.

[case thuds]

Wait.
Wait.

Wait.

Does that ferry
service go to Brooklyn?

Yeah.

I believe so, ma'am.

I'm getting out.

Diana, calm down.

Honey, what the hell's wrong
with that daughter of yours?

I'll meet you there.

Thank you.

DIANA: Hey!

Hey!

Wait!

Hold the boat.

Oof!

Jesus.

Thank you.

You're-- you're welcome.

[marine horn honks]

[music playing]

DIANA: Excuse me.

This goes to Brooklyn, right?

FERRYMAN (INTERCOM): Ladies
and gentlemen, our final stop

is Brooklyn, Hunters Point.

Please make sure you have
all of our belongings.

Never mind.

Thanks.

[music playing]

DIANA: Hi.

Excuse me, sir, but
do you know the area?

MAN: No English.

DIANA: Ugh, not
even a little bit?

[non-english speech] Ugh.

Hi.

Sorry to keep bothering you.

Do you know where the
Brooklyn Mansion is?

Yes.

Yes?

Well, is it far?

I'm in kind of a hurry.

Not far at all.

In fact, I'm going there myself.

You are?

I think you might have hired
me to play at your wedding.

Oh.

You're one of the musicians
from the Wedding Farm Band.

Well, actually, I'm freelance.

Oh, I'm so glad I found you.

Well, I'm glad
you found me too.

Big day for you, huh?

You look beautiful.

Stunning, actually,
in that dress.

And not that I've seen
you in anything else.

It's just-- what?
- My bracelet.

I just had it.

Oh.

I got it.

Hey.

Oh.

Oh, crumb.

It's broken.

Would you mind holding onto it?

I don't have any pockets.

Oh.

I don't mind.

Can I tell you a secret?

Uh, sure.

You know how, one day, you
wake up and this is your life,

and you don't know
how you got there?

Yeah.

I feel that way every day.

I mean, what if I'm
not cut out for this?

What if I don't measure up?

What if he doesn't think I'm
pretty enough or smart enough,

or what if he gets bored of me?

I mean--

[chuckles]

I can't afford
to cry right now.

Ugh, my makeup took hours and--

[sniffling] I shouldn't
have said anything.

You're going to think
I'm a bad bride.

[chuckles] No.

No, I-- I'm glad you told me.

You're sweet.

I'm Diana.

Hi, Diana.

You almost gave your
father a heart attack.

[sighs] I won't ask.

Wish me luck.

DIANA'S MOTHER: What
were you thinking?

All right, guys.

I want it tight
and clean tonight.

That means you, jazz man.

It's a pretty swanky affair.

Groom is to be some
big wig at the YAA.

YAA?

Yogurt Association of America.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

He's flying solo now,
launching his own company.

[snaps fingers]

Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome

Bruce and Diana Ledford.

[applause and cheering]

[piano playing]

May I have your
attention. please?

Time to hear from the best man.

[applause]

To the yogurt
king and his queen.

Hear, hear.

EVERYONE: Hear, hear.

That's good stuff.

[applause]

INGA: Guess who called
me this afternoon.

Who?

INGA: Stellan.

Who?

My brother, Stellan.

I told you about him.

He wants to come visit
for a month in August.

Why doesn't he stay longer?

INGA: That's what I told him.

I said, Stellan, we only
see each other twice a year.

And you know you can always
come and stay with us.

Did I tell you
how the first time

he came here, I went to pick
him up at the wrong airport?

No.

I went to JFK
and I was supposed

to pick him up at Newark.

I thought it was JFK because
I normally come to JFK,

and how could I
know it was Newark?

So I went to JFK and he was
at Newark, and there we were.

I did not know what
to do because he

didn't have a cell phone.

So how could I
get a hold of him?

[echoing and fading voices]

Did you just fall asleep?

No.

I thought you'd want
to know about my family.

Oh, I do.

Mel, you're a
million miles away.

Be honest.

Do I bore you?

Maybe.

A little?

I am not boring!

I'm complex and intriguing!

And you just can't see
that because you're

only interested in yourself.

And you know what?

You're not that
interesting either!

[window slams]

Inga, you forgot my wallet.

[music playing]

Oh no.

Oh no.

OK.

Hang in there, Daphne.

[window squeaking]

[grunting]

GINGER: I've got a pistol!

No!

Ginger!

Ginger!

It's Mel.

What-- what on Earth
are you doing here?

Look, I have no
place else to go.

GINGER: Well, the least you
could have done is called.

I was afraid I'd wake you up.

GINGER: Well, as it turns
out, you did wake me up.

Look, it's kind
of an emergency.

Can you help?

Should I run some
more cold water?

If you want to
put her into shock,

that's an excellent idea.

You're really good with fish.

Don't try to butter me up.

I just don't think
your fish should

have to suffer the consequences
of your Bohemian lifestyle.

[clears throat]

I don't know how to thank you.

[water running]

You're welcome.

I know it's kind
of awkward, but you

think I could spend the night?

What?

I'm in kind of a jam.

[chuckles]

Oh.

I take it things
didn't work out.

No.

They did not.

I must be out of my mind.

You won't even know I'm here.

Yes.

Good.

Man, I don't want to rain on
your parade, but she's married.

Well, technically, I met
her before she was married.

Let it go, man.

This one's not for you.

What do you mean, let her go?

This is possibly the first
time I've ever fallen in love.

Possibly.

Exactly my point.

What do you know about her?

Nothing.

She appears out of thin air--

Like a vision, like
time stood still.

Well, time obviously
didn't stand still

or she wouldn't have
had to run for the boat.

The point is forget the vision.

Forget this woman.

I mean, she just got
married for Christ's sake.

Let her be happy.

Well, don't know
if she's happy.

I do know she's
out of your league.

What?

You never heard of
love transcending

socioeconomic barriers?

Did you see the
ring on her finger?

That rock probably
cost more than you

and I will make in a lifetime.

Her panties probably
cost more than your rent.

What are you
saying, she's shallow?

I give up.

What?

Why?

I'm wasting my breath.

You pretend to want advice,
but you're going to do whatever

the hell it is you want.

Yeah.

You're going to
chase after her.

You're going to drive me crazy.

And for all I know, you'd
probably get what you want.

[chuckles]

Yeah.

I hope so.

[key turning]

Ginger?

We need to talk.

You're welcome for last night.

I took the liberty of
packing up your things.

Listen, I'm sorry.

But as you can see,
the situation's changed

and, well, I won't be able
to sublet you my apartment.

Well, you did.

So I'm going to assume that
you'll make other arrangements.

I'll help you find a new
apartment, but the deal is off.

I'll refund your money
and we'll call it a day.

Well, we'll call it a
today if it suits you,

but the deal stands.

I remind you, I have a lease.

Listen, I told you
from the beginning,

you'd have to be flexible.

Are you raising
your voice at me?

I don't appreciate
it when-- when

people raise their voice at me.

Fine.

I want my apartment back.

Fine.

You'll have it back at
the end of the month.

In the meantime, the
civil thing to do

would be go out and
stay in a hotel.

If I could afford one,
believe me, I would.

Well, that's not
my problem, is it?

It is, because I'm staying.

Well, so am I.

Fine.

[pan clatters]

[spits]

[blender whirring]

Stop it!

Please, be quiet.

Shut up.

Listen, I'm going
to make a deal.

I'm listening.

We split the rent and we both
stay here somehow until you

find another place to live.

Either way, in three
weeks, you're out.

So if it happens
sooner than that,

I'll be here as your guest.

And if, God forbid,
it takes longer than

that, you'll be here as mine.

Nobody gets put
out on the street.

Nobody gets hurt.

Everyone is equally unhappy.

[music playing]

I keep the bedroom.

Fine.

And you will have to
adhere to a few house rules.

House rules?

I'll need the bathroom
clear every morning at 6:30.

Oh.

It's all yours.

And I insist on a quiet
time after 11:00 PM.

Seeing that I get up
early, I would appreciate

no company after hours.

No company?

It's non-negotiable.

I see.

Well, then I have few
house rules of my own.

Mm-hmm.
Fair enough.

[sniff]

Since I work nights and
I need my beauty rest,

I'd appreciate it if you kept
things down until about noon.

[scoffs] I'm extremely
quiet in the morning.

Second, since you're going
to be sleeping in my bed,

I'd appreciate it if we
enforce the no company

rule for you too.

I see.

You can always
stay in a hotel.

Well, then it
seems we understand

each other perfectly.

Goodnight, Mel,
I'll catch you later.

Freddie.

Hey, man, I just gave
you my last quarter.

What do you want from me?

Support.

Brooklyn Mansion
Wedding Planning?

Hey.

Margo?

Hey, it's Mel.

How are you doing, gorgeous?

Yeah.

Hey, listen, you remember
the wedding there Saturday?

Diana Ledford.

Yeah.

Well, I found her bracelet.

You did.

Shh.
Yeah.

Yeah.

Or I could just, you know,
drop it by our apartment

if you have the address.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, no.

She seemed like a sweet girl.

Yeah.

She what?

Yeah.
- Ow!

Well, that makes sense.

(QUIETLY) What the
hell's wrong with you?

Yeah.

All right.

Thanks, Margo.

Yeah.
I love you too.

Bye.

They're on their honeymoon.

Well, guess what?

That's what married people do.

Bali.

Is that tacky or what?

You know, the best
thing you can do,

Mel, is throw that piece of
paper in the garbage can.

I know.

Later.

Hey, Ginger.

What are you doing out here?

I'm stargazing.

what does it looks like?

[sniff]

What, did you
forget your keys?

[laughs]

It's funny.

Laugh it up.

Ha ha.

I knew I had them.

Oh no.

[music playing]

They said it'd be
another half hour.

[sighs] Do you mind if
I ask you what happened?

What, just now?

No, with your girlfriend.

Oh.

Well, it's-- it's
none of my business.

Never mind.

With Inga?

We were wrong for
each other, I guess.

I felt like I had to
make it work, you know?

Be mature, embrace
commitment, blah blah blah.

Then out of the blue,
I met this other girl

and things just fell apart.

So you-- so you think
this other woman was--

was more right?

When I looked into her
eyes, it wasn't like looking

into another pretty face.

It was like a bomb
going off in my heart.

And-- and that's a
good thing, I take it.

It never happened to you?

Once.

Well, you see?

There are some
people with whom you

can have an instant connection.

Must be chemical or something.

What are you doing?

Are you taking notes?

A few.

Do you mind?

Do I mind?

I mean-- [chuckles]
what are you, a cop?

I find it interesting, and
it pertains to my research.

But never mind.

It's rude.

It's rude.

It's too strange to be rude.

What-- what is your research?

Oh.

Well, at the moment, I'm--

I'm studying the cellular basis
of the male sexual behavior in

the South African clawed frog.

[chuckles] Sorry.

Wow.

That's almost word-for-word
what I was just talking about.

No.

Insofar as we like
to draw parallels

of patterns of human mating
rituals and sexuality.

It's quite relevant, you know.

Well, how am I like
one of your frogs?

Well, in the short
time that I've known you,

I would say you've demonstrated
patterns of proclamatory

male sexual behavior
with no evidence

of long-term pair bonding.

Right.

All right.

Well, I'll give you,
the long-term thing

has been kind of problematic.

But this new woman--

Mm-hmm.

--I can really
see us together.

I just can't explain it.

[birds singing]

[music playing]

A great man, my grandfather.

Vishnu Anubam Rajit
Patel, a man of vision.

I'm here to see Diana Ledford.

She's expecting you.

A man of courage.

He came here to this
country-- elevator--

with the shirt on his back
and a head full of ideas.

Elevator?

And within months,
bingo, he hits the jackpot.

- Hello, gorgeous.
- Hey.

That's a nice outfit.

[laughs]

So are we still
going to lunch later?

Oh, I can't, honey.

I got a big day.

They're going to
show me those designs

for the three ounce cups, at
least for the fruit flavors.

I'm having so many problems
with my low fat guys.

I don't know what
they do all day.

[ding-dong]

It's probably the dry cleaner.
- Oh.

Could you maybe go down and--

Oh, one second.

[cow moo ring tone]

Hello? (QUIETLY) Yeah.

Go ahead, honey.
Thanks.

Yeah.

That's right.
(QUIETLY) Go get it.

Go get it.
Uh-huh.

Yeah.

What is the hold up
on the Berry Bonanza?

Oh my.

Hi.

Sorry.

Come on in.

[door thuds]

(QUIETLY) Holy cow.

Unbelievable.

I have a presentation
in 45 minutes

and my blueberry vendor
has lost his mind.

Oh.

Well, the guy is
waiting downstairs.

Do you think maybe
you could go and--

[cow moo ring tone]
- Go ahead.

--deal with that right now?

Sorry.
Hello?

Ugh.
Honey?

- Parker?
- I'm not dressed.

Yeah.
Go ahead then.

It's fine.

You're not going
to believe this.

No.

My guy in Vermont is growing
pot instead of blueberries.

[clattering]

DIANA: Be there in just a sec.

Hey.

I'll need this
back by Wednesday.

- Uh--
- OK.

Perfect.
Thanks.

Listen, can I
give this to you?

DIANA: Wait!
Wait!

Oh.
Good.

Thanks.

Diana.

Yes?

You don't recognize me?

You do look kind of familiar.

We met the day
of your wedding.

Oh.

I was in the band,
but we met on the ferry.

Now I remember.

So how you been?

Well, I've been--

I haven't been able to get you
out of my mind, is the thing.

[nervous chuckle]

I don't know what to say.

I'm sorry.

I-- I'm embarrassing you.

Do I look embarrassed?

See, the thing is,
when I look at you--

when I look in your eyes--

I'm sorry.

It's just-- you're married.
No more flirting.

I'm sorry.

This-- [sighs]

Well, you never
told me your name.

Melvin, technically.

But my my friends call me Mel.

Mel.

Well, you never know.

Maybe I'll see you
around the neighborhood.

[music playing]

Oh.

Diana!

Diana.

[groans]

Your bracelet.

[frog croaking]

[clears throat]

Hello.

I, uh, didn't have a
chance to introduce myself.

And since we're practically
neighbors, Harry Kelp.

Ginger Thomas.
Pleasure.

I loved your paper
on sexual dimorphism

in the laryngeal nucleus
of Xenopus tropicalis.

It read like a steamy novel.

Oh, well, thank you.

As a matter of fact, your
approach reminded me a little

of-- hmm, you have probably
never heard of him,

but Ronald Elmore Pritchard.

You can't even say that.

He's my hero.

Me-- me too.

[frog croaking]

Sean, did you register that?

Yup.

Make sure you get the
laryngeal contraction

rate, yes?

I don't mean to keep you,
but I was told you were

still looking for an apartment?

Oh, actually, I am.

I may know of someone.

A friend of mine.

Well, a friend of a
friend, to be precise.

But I'd be happy
to recommend you.

Oh, well, that's very
thoughtful of you, Dr. Kelp.

Please, call me Harry.

DIANA: Mel.

Yeah?

There's something
wrong with Daphne.

Ah, she just wants
some attention.

[scoffs] I highly doubt that.

I think she
might be epileptic.

Oh yeah?

Watch this.

Hold that.

Oh.

[playing sax]

That's her favorite.

What? it's not scientific
enough for you?

I had no idea you
played so beautifully.

You should come by the club
and hear us play some time.

Oh, maybe I will.

Oh.

Thanks.

Hmm.

Well, [clears throat] I'm off.

Hmm.

Another apartment?

Oh, yes.

But they don't have
a shred of hope.

A friend set it
up, so we'll see.

I would hate to think
I'd be sponging off

your spectacular
generosity next month.

I'm not such a bad guy.

[scoffs] Don't
flatter yourself.

[door closes]

[band playing music]

[applause]

FREDDIE: Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Hey, we're going to
take a short break,

and we'll be back
in about 15 minutes.

[applause]

[giggles]

What are you doing here?

That was wonderful.

Really?

I thought we were
kind of off tonight.

[scoffs]

Freddie, this Ginger.

Ginger, Freddie.

How you doing?

I was just telling
Mel I thought

the music was fantastic.

I like her already.

So you two are roommates, huh?

Well, not anymore.

I found a flat.
- Really?

What's the matter?

I thought you'd be ecstatic.

Oh, well, I am.

You don't look it.

What, are you kidding?

I'll be happy to
have my bed back.

What happened that one
time for you, when the bomb

went off in your heart, huh?

You thought I wasn't listening.

- We got engaged.
- Ah.

See?
I knew it.

And then broke it
off a month later.

Why?

Well, he wanted citizenship
and I mistook it for passion.

Simple miscommunication, really.

Would have helped
if I spoke Armenian.

It'd be a lot simpler
if we could choose who we

fall in love with, wouldn't it?

Well, I like to think we
can exercise a certain level

of discrimination.

You really believe that?

I do.

Well, to me, I try.

Oh!

Mel, I forgot.

I wanted to ask you a favor.

I thought this was a favor.

Well, another favor.

I was wondering if I could
borrow Daphne for a few days.

What for?

Oh, I'd like to take
some measurements.

Oh, no.

What?

Just on her response to music.

You already saw her
response to music.

What more do you want?

I'd like to measure her
reactions on a physical level.

You see, fish produce
small electric pulses that

are measured in wave forms.

I just want to know on
a cellular level what

she's responding to in music.

It's not just music.

It's my playing.

Perhaps.

Perhaps nothing,
I'm telling you.

Well, if that were the
case, it'd be very unusual.

Daphne and I have
a special bond.

What's unusual about that?

Well, scientifically,
aquatic vertebrates

are limited to
electrophysiological responses.

Meaning?

- Fish can't feel.
- Emotions.

GINGER: Right.

Right.

Then why don't you bring
her by, and we'll have a look?

Hm?

Bingo, Bingo, man--
the word, the game,

little old ladies poking holes
in papers, he invented it,

my granddad, yeah.

Dry cleaner?

Yes, yes.

Go ahead.

And he made a fortune.

You know what he did
with that fortune?

He gave it me.

Why, you ask?

Because in his own
words, there's a fortune

here to be made every week.

Another week, another fortune.

[music playing]

Diana?

Mel?

Oh.

What are you doing here?

I was just in
the neighborhood.

Oh.

Can I give you a
hand with something?

Um, yeah.

Can you help me
carry it upstairs?

Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, sure.

[music playing]

This is really sweet of you.

I just saw it, and
I had to have it.

It made me think of Bruce.
It's so him.

Don't you think?

It's very prickly.

Yeah.

Well, it's just right up here.

You don't see too many cactuses
like that where I come from.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Where are you from?

DIANA: Boise girl.

Boise girl.

DIANA: Born and bred.

Well, how's life in the
big city treating you?

It's OK.

It's just everybody seems so
busy all the time, you know?

Especially Bruce.

Oh, yeah.

DIANA: Oh, you can
put that there.

Oh, yeah, oh, OK.

Oof.

I mean, it's not like I don't
respect what he does, you know?

It's just-- I mean, he's
under a lot of pressure.

- Yeah.
- I get that.

I don't know.

It's just kind of--

oh, crud.

I'm going to be late.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I should be going.

Oh, yeah.

Do you mind grabbing
the elevator?

[ding]

Wow.

Thanks.

Look at you.

Do you mind doing me up?

Uh--

You want to hear
something funny?

Sure.

I probably see Robert
more than I see Bruce--

well, saw.

Who's Robert?

He's the elevator guy.

Oh.

He retired.

Here you go.

[sighs] Now I really
have nobody to talk to.

Well, you can talk
to me, if you want to.

Suits you.
[ding]

Seven, please.

Se-ven.

Siete.

Have you ever even
been to the snack bar?

My grandfather-- stay with me.

Now, when he got here,
there was no such term, OK?

Now, he got to thinking--
snack and bar, snack and bar.

[clucks tongue] Snack bar.

Excuse me?

Yes.

Are you looking for
someone to run the elevator?

Yeah.

Fill this out.

[music playing]

Thanks, I'm all set.

[chatter]

[frogs croaking]

Ah, there you are.

GINGER: Hello, you two.

This place is a labyrinth.

You know, I wouldn't
entrust her to just anyone.

Well, fortunately,
I'm not just anyone.

Hello.
- All right.

How's the new apartment?

Do you miss me yet?

Hm.

Well, you know,
it's coming along.

I still need to fix some things.

I need to get some tools.
- Oh, I have--

I have tools.

What do you need?

Ah, well, you know, I
need to fix the drapes

and hang some pictures.

I'm sure that's a terribly
engaging prospect.

Oh, I can help.

So this is where you work, huh?

Yes.

Do you want me to
show you around?

Yeah.

Oh, I should show
you the frog room.

Yeah, come on.
Let's go look at the frogs.

Oh, leave her here.

We'll get her back.

[warbling]

So let me show you some
of our star subjects.

[warbling]

This here is Tarzan, very
dramatic vocal patterns.

He gets a very strong
response from the ladies.

There's no way Daphne's
spending the night

here with all these frogs.

Now, this here is Esteban--

also quite the lady's frog.

[croaking]

He has the highest laryngeal
contraction rate of croak.

You don't say.

Then here, last but
not least, is Casanova.

Tut, tut, tut.

[croaking]

Well, the name says
it all, really.

Hm.

MEL: You're really committed
to this, aren't you?

It's my way of
understanding relationships.

You never wanted
to be anything else?

Well, I wanted to
be a ballerina when

I was younger and a
teacher and a fireman,

because I fancied the boots.

Who you want to be isn't
necessarily who you are,

you know.

And I really like what I do.

I'm quite good at it.

It shows.

[croaking]

You want my prediction?

This whole thing's going to come
back and bite you in the ass.

Look, I'm a little bit nervous
about my first day of work.

So I'd appreciate it if
you'd say something positive.

Pay up.

MEL: Thanks.

[ding]

Bye-bye.

Diana, the elevator's here.

Hurry up.

Chop chop.

You new?

[sighs]

Hey, tell me something.

Which do you prefer?

One's a smile.

One's a grin.

Now, what I want to know is,
which one grabs you and says,

this is my kind of yogurt?

Well, that's a tough choice.

You're damn straight it is.

Personally, I like to smile.

I see what you mean.

I think It's classier.

Yeah, definitely.

Yeah.

Well, honey, this
man has a good eye.

[buzzing]

Hold this, please.

Thank you.

[beep]

Hello, Stan the man.

What do you mean our VP
is lactose intolerant?

What are you talking about?

You said it suited me.

It does.

All right.

[music playing]

Oh, come on, Daphne.

You like this music.

Oh, yes, it makes you feel good.

Yes, oh, you love it.

You love it.

She's been working very hard.

Yes, yes, you love it.

So I kept racking my brain.

Mhm.

What kind of
electrophysiological

characteristics could I use?

And then one day,
it dawned on me.

Somatic efficacy.

Exactly.

GINGER: Hm.

Oh, hello.

Dr. K-- Harry, this is Mel.

Hello.

GINGER: Well, thank you so
much for walking me home.

That was very sweet.

My, uh, my pleasure.

GINGER: I'll see you tomorrow.

Hm.

Who's that guy?

He's a colleague.

You should be
careful about letting

random men with large
umbrellas walk you home.

I mean, how well
do you know him?

Exactly, you see?

It's not even raining.

I'm perfectly capable
of taking care of myself,

thank you.

Oh, yeah, you seem
real tough at first.

But on the inside,
you're all squishy.

I am not squishy.

You are.

You're kind of squishy.

I am not.

All right, you're
as tough as nails.

Now open up your apartment.

We got a lot of work to do.

Here, that's for you.

Me?

Yeah, a housewarming present.

Wow, that's out of character.

[music playing]

[sighs]

Ow.

Oh, oh, wait.

Wait.

You can't drink champagne under
the glare of a 100 watt bulb.

It just simply isn't done.

Where's the switch?

Yeah, right.

This I'd like to see.

It's pretty fancy,
very impressive.

Let-- let me show you
how a professional does it.

Watch this.

Please.

No, no, no.

Ah.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

You realize we don't
have any glasses.

Hm.

Huh.

Hey.

[ding]

See anything interesting?

A poodle in a raincoat.

I thought life in New York
would be so glamorous, you know?

It's really just a lot of
tall buildings and traffic.

Yeah.

I wind up feeling
invisible half the time.

Are you kidding me?

I've never met anybody
less invisible in my life.

You're sweating.

Am-- am I?

Yeah.

Oh, well, yeah.

Ahem.

I guess it's warming up.

I hear it's only
going to get hotter.

Yeah.

It's the, uh, ahem
humidity that gets you.

Hm.

Every been to Houman
Bookstore and Cafe?

Have dinner with me.

Huh?

Have dinner with me.

Why?

Uh, so we can
have a conversation

that lasts more than 17 floors.

I don't know, Mel.

Right, yeah, I understand.

Look, uh, there's my card,
in case you change your mind.

17.
- Thank you.

[ding]

[music playing]

So how's life in the elevator?

Well, it's all right, I guess.

I'd go mad going
up and down all day.

I don't know how you do it.

It's true.

I have been getting
kind of impatient

lately, waiting around
whole days just to see

her for a couple of minutes.

Sometimes I'm ready to walk
away from the whole thing.

Well, why don't you?

Because at some point,
she gets on the elevator,

and she smiles.

And I know it sounds
kind of kooky,

but that makes the
whole day worthwhile.

Hm.

Ugh, they forgot the ice cream.

I mean, there's no joy in
it without the ice cream.

I mean, that's what being
a la mode is all about.

Uh, let me get
you some ice cream.

No, I'm quite capable
of taking care of myself.

Thank you.
- Yeah, ouch.

Meaning?

Well, you've been
kind of moody lately.

Is everything all right?

Everything is splendid.

Thank you.

Well, I mean,
something's on your mind.

Is it work?

Actually, I don't
enjoy asking you this.

But if you don't
mind, will you come

by the lab to play for Daphne?

What?
Go ahead.

Say it.

I told you.

[croaking]

All right, whenever
you're ready.

Ready?

Yep.

Sorry, I got distracted.

You have all the
time in the the world.

That's pretty cool.

Hm, let me see that.

Hm.

Obviously, I'm
missing something.

It's all right.

It's good for you to be
wrong once in a while.

Did you see that?

Good girl.

[knocking]

MAN AT DOOR: Hello?

Hey.

[knocking]

Hey.

What's going on?

- What's going on, man?
- Come on.

Get dressed, man.

We got to be at the
Algonquin in half an hour.

Oh, I've got work today.

Well, don't tell
me you're not coming.

Well, they hired a 12
piece band, didn't they?

I mean, you got three horns.

They're going to want
mostly Motown anyway.

Well, what about
our set tonight?

I'll try to make it.

You know, people work
hard to get where we are.

But you don't understand that,
because you don't know what

it's like to work at
something, whether it's

music or anything else.

What are you talking about?

You don't know
what you've got.

That also means you don't
know you're throwing it away.

I'm not throwing
anything away.

She's married, Mel.

Why can't you get that
through your thick head?

She's not going to leave her
millionaire husband for you.

They never do.

She's starting
to care about me.

She does not care about you.

She needs you to
hit the right button

when she gets on the elevator,
so she puts up with you.

The people who care
about you turn you off.

That's why you live
with a fish, Mel.

[music playing]

(SINGING) He's got it all,
but where is the peace--

Are you going to be
home for dinner tonight?

Depends how my meetings go.

(SINGING) But it he can't find.

So what do you think?

I just got it.

It's nice.

You didn't even look.

I never should have
gotten into the dairy-based

movie business.

Honey, tell me honestly.

Do I look bloated
in this version?

Hm?

Look at my cheeks.

They look like a
goddamn chipmunk.

(SINGING) Can't you see?

Where are you going?
- Out.

Out?

You're not even dressed.

You noticed.

BRUCE: Of course I noticed.

I notice everything.

Honey, hey.

(SINGING) It's simply not fair.

He's got it all, but there is--

I got to get a nose job.

[ding]

Yes.

[ding]

Lobby.

Is everything all right?

What do you care?

What do you mean,
what do I care?

Just leave me alone.

Can you do that?

[music playing]

[ding]

Thanks.

Hey, wise guy, change of plan.

I'm on my way.

There better be a chair for me.

[phone ringing]

Hey, I just left you a
message I'm on my way.

DIANA (ON PHONE): What?

What?

Who is this?

DIANA (ON PHONE):
This is Diana Ledford.

Is Mel there?

It's-- it's me.

Diana, what's wrong?

Mel, I'm so lost.

Me too.

No, I mean literally.

I-- I can't find my way out.

I'm in Central Park.

At least I think
it's Central Park.

All the paths look the same.

And it's going to get dark.

Now Bruce is in a meeting.

I have read about how the
park gets really dangerous at

and how all those people get
killed on the jogging trails.

I don't even jog.

I never should have come here.

I should have stayed in Boise.

Diana, I'm coming for you.

[music playing]

Can you hurry up?

We've got to move.
We've got to move.

Thank you.

She's-- she's stuck in the
park naked, my wife, yeah.

I'm-- no, not you,
sir, no, I'm sorry.

No, can you hold on, please?

We tried frozen yogurt.

It didn't work.

The age of frozen
yogurt is over.

OK, thank you.

Literally, how far
are we, Claudia?

How far are we?

Honey, I'm three minutes away.

Three-- well, now
we're in traffic.

[music playing]

[honking]

[applause]

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

We're going to take a short
break, and we'll be right back.

What a pleasant surprise.

I've been here
twice in one month.

Does that make me a groupie?

Mel's not here, in case
you're looking for him.

Not really.

Come on.

I'll buy you a drink.

Oh, lovely.

European.

Eu-er-a-pe-an.

No.

I'm sorry.

Oh, well, speak of the devil.

Hey, the set's over, in
case you were wondering.

You can't imagine
the day that I've had.

Oh what happened?

Did a button get stuck?

Did a button get stuck?

That's funny.

It took him all day.

Oh, we were just
psychoanalyzing you.

Oh, really?

And we decided that
you're pathologically

afraid of being alone.

Me and everybody else.

Please, I beg to differ.

Nothing is worse than feeling
alone with another person.

Mm, I'd much rather
be lonely by myself.

Well, at least I know
I'm good company.

Uh-oh.

Well.

That's it.

I am not drunk.

I know.

But I just want to make
sure you get home safe.

What do you care?

I'm a nice guy.

No, you're not.

But I like you anyway.

Oh, gee, thanks.

You're not even my type.

I didn't think so.

Here.

I lied.

Oh.

Mm, mm.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

OK.

Wait.

Oh, god.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait.

I can't.

I don't think it's a good idea.

I should go.

Of course you should.

Yeah.

Good night.

[music playing]

(WHISPERING) Stupid.

[sniffling]

[phone ringing]

GINGER (ON ANSWERING MACHINE):
Hello, this is Ginger Thomas.

Please leave me a
message after the beep.

Thank you.

[beep]

Well, I was just
about to give up on you.

So where is she?

There you go, precious Daphne.

[croaking]

Why's your frog
staring at my fish?

Why's your fish
staring at my frog?

What'd you do to her?

I didn't do anything to her.

Then why is she
acting so goofy?

GINGER: I don't know.

There's no such thing as
cross species attraction.

OK, well, whatever that
means, I don't appreciate it.

Well, what are you
getting so angry about?

And frankly, I'm the one who's
a little humiliated here.

So that's what this is
about, last night, huh?

I'd-- I'd rather
not talk about it.

You're the one
that brought it up.

You know, I wish last
night had never happened.

OK, so do I.

Great.

So why don't you take your
little fish and off you go.

Ginger, sometimes you can
be a little hostile, you know?

GINGER: Oh, really?

You kissed me, remember?

You didn't have
to return the favor.

I wanted to at
the time, all right?

It didn't mean anything.

We can still be
friends, can't we?

Wrong.

We can't still be friends?

It did mean something.

You knew from the beginning
that I was involved with Diana.

That's why I told you about her.

This may come as a shock,
but the world does not

revolve around you, you know?

And I'm not just saying that
because I'm a scientist.

Honey, this Acidophilus
Man of the Year Award

means so much to me.

Which ones are more CEO-like?

Good eye.

Uh, do you know where
my sample case is?

It's here.

BRUCE: Oh, thanks.

So maybe I should just
wander the streets on my own.

Uh, sure.

Yeah, that sounds good.

Um, do you know where
my baseball cap is?

Oh, thanks, honey.

Maybe I should have an affair.

Um, sure.

OK, well, I am off.

Ah, right.

Well, wish me luck.

Me too.

BRUCE: You look great.

[music playing]

[phone ringing]

Ginger?

DIANA (ON PHONE): Hey, Mel.

It's Diana.

I didn't get a chance to
thank you for yesterday.

Thank me?

Thank me for what?

So I was wondering
about your dinner offer.

How's tonight?

GINGER: Come on, Casanova.

Say something.

Croak.

Why are you being so difficult?

It's one croak.

Bloody hell.

Uh, Dr. Thomas?

Hm?

Are you going to be
needing me all day?

Of course I'll be needing you.

That's what you're
here for, isn't it?

It's just I have
a date tonight,

and I was kind of hoping to
get home and take a shower.

A date, oh, how
nice, how nice.

Well, by all means, all we're
really trying to do here

is make a couple
of breakthroughs

in reproductive biology.

I mean, nothing to put your
life on hold for, really, hm?

So in fact, I've
got a good idea.

Why don't we shut down the
lab and all go on dates?

So that's a no.

Cheers.

Cheers.

I've got something for you.

DIANA: Yeah?

Yeah.

Oh, my god, I
completely forgot.

I-- I thought you'd
want to have it back.

You know, you remind
me of someone back home.

Really?

Actually, it's the guy
who gave me the bracelet.

Oh.

I was his first.

Is that right?

He was my, gosh, hm--

it was kind of fun--

11th.

Oh.

12th, depends on
how you do the math.

Anyway, he was such a
sensitive type, Chuck.

Ah.

No, that was his brother.

Dick.

Dick?

That was his name.

Oh.

Such a sweetheart.

But you know how some people
never really do it for you?

Yeah.

Oh, my god, Sean,
Casanova's missing.

Oh, god.

Where is the little bugger?

Oh, Casanova, don't
do this to me.

Casanova, come on.

My knees are killing me.

Hello?

With the additional
funding for my studies

of the reproductive
techniques of these iguanas,

I believe that we would
end up saving money.

I mean, one of the
reasons that I want to--

What about our visiting
scientist, Dr. Thomas?

Any sense of her progress?

Oh, she's tremendously
dedicated and so meticulous.

Stop him.

Stop him.

Oh, you stupid frog.

Oh.

When I get my hands on you--

A new shock method
she's testing out,

it's an English thing.

You think this is
very funny, don't you?

No, bad frog, bad frog.

You like me, don't you?

Let's go, before
I change my mind.

Uh-- Check?

OK, so why don't you jump
into bed, and I'll go gussy up?

[music playing]

It's a little wrinkled.

I was carrying it
in my pocket book.

It's very nice.

Yeah.

I'm a little drunk.

Normally I'm a
really good dancer.

Oh, whoops, my shoe came off.

Oh, that's a problem.

But I can fix it.

Hold on.

OK, there.

Sexy?

Do it.

We don't have to
rush into anything.

Come on.

You've been hanging
out in my elevator

for the past few weeks.

I think it's time you
pushed some of my buttons.

That's what I'm talking abut.

We really ought to get to
know each other a little bit.

Yeah.

I have all the
information I need.

Oh, speaking of
information, look at this.

This will tell us a little
bit about the hotel.

Do they have dirty movies?

No.

This says here that the
hotel was erected in 1910.

That's the only thing we're
going to erect here, baby.

Oh.

First try, come on.

I'll be right back.

OK.

Whew.

Diana, we need to talk.

I-- uh, tonight was
incredibly special,

and I find you
unbelievably beautiful.

But it doesn't feel right.

I-- it's not that
I don't want to.

Believe me.

Uh, a part of me
really wants to.

But another part of me
wants something else.

It wants something more.

Did you ever feel like
you were alone when

you were with another person?

All the time.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Ah, it's probably
better all around.

Yeah.

Tell her I said hi.

Who?

Your girlfriend, whoever
she is, tell her I said hi.

[music playing]

Ginger!

Ginger.

What are you doing here?

- I was looking for you.
- Oh, Mel--

I've got something
to tell you.

No, Mel.

OK, I know this is
going to surprise you.

No, Mel--

I don't want to say anything.

I just want you to listen.

No, somebody's sitting there.

Where?

I'm with someone.

Oh, oh, Harry, this is Mel.

I believe you've met.

HARRY: Hello.

Ah, Mel was just leaving.

But you don't know
what I came here to say.

Well, I'll be home later.

You can phone me then.

Well, later might be too late.

He's not usually like this.

Listen, Harry, do
you mind giving me

and your date a few minutes?

Harry, sit down.

You're making this
awful difficult.

I'm making it difficult.

I can go sit at the counter.

No, Harry, you're
not going anywhere.

Ginger--

What?

I'm in love with you.

Diana's not right for me.

You are.

Who is Diana?

I--

Well, aren't you
going to say something?

Am I supposed to
dissolve into a puddle

because you decide that I
may be your type after all?

Yeah, well, you know, it
came as a surprise to me too.

Frankly, it's a
little insulting.

Why is it insulting?

Well, I-- I don't fancy
being a fallback, Mel.

We biologists have
our pride, you know.

You're not a fallback.

I-- I just didn't know
what I was feeling.

It just kind of, you
know, crept up on me.

Duly noted.

Now, if you don't
mind, Harry and I would

like to have a nice brunch.

You see, in addition to
Harry's uncommon intelligence,

his gentle disposition, and
his refined sense of humor,

Harry here is a grown up.

Yeah.

Well, good for Harry.

You, uh, look pensive.

Are you all right?

Splendid.

[music playing]

It's just you and me, kid.

Is something
supposed to happen?

Apparently not.

Ginger, Earth to Dr. Thomas.

Yes?

You didn't answer
my question about

dinner Sunday at my mother's.

She makes a mean bread pudding.

Oh.

I can't, Harry.

Oh, well, perhaps
the following.

No, I-- I--

I just can't, you know?

Oh, I see.

You're a wonderful person.

And you're going to make
the right woman very happy

one day, truly.

That's what my mother says.

Well, well, well, look
what the cat dragged in.

Did the elevator
go out of service?

No, I quit.

You look terrible.

Oh, well, thanks.

We, um, had to get
another sax player.

Right.

Well, I just thought I'd stop
in, let you know I wasn't dead.

FREDDIE: I was
beginning to wonder.

There's a wedding
on Thursday night

talking about adding a horn.

Think you can handle it?

A wedding, huh?

Yeah, sure, why not?

FREDDIE: No falling
for the bride.

No, not unless
her name's Ginger.

Oh, Ginger, eh?

Sit down, man.

Let me buy you a drink.

Don't worry.

Nobody likes him.

Who?

The new sax player--

he trained at a conservatory.

I give him two weeks tops.

[music playing]

Daphne, I'm home.

Daphne?

Daphne?

Ginger, it's Mel.

Pick up the phone.

Ginger, Daphne tried
to commit suicide.

Hi.

I, uh, I didn't know
who else to call.

Where is she?

Have you tried playing?

Nothing, she's
not eating either.

How long has she
been like this?

Since she came
back from the lab.

I knew I should have
never let her go there.

She probably got homesick
or fear of abandonment.

[scoffs] Don't
flatter yourself.

Where are you taking her?

Oh, bloody hell,
he's gone again.

All right, as long as he
hasn't hit the elevators.

Casanova.

OK, you go that way.

I'll--

That's disgusting.

[warbling]

Casanova?

Casanova?

Stupid name.

I know you're here.

Can't hide from Mummy.

Ugh.

Oh, sorry.

What?

People bump into each
other every day in Britain.

It's not a life-altering event.

[croaking]

[music playing]

He hasn't sung in days.

He must have been saving it.

I'm sorry about what
happened at the diner.

I hope I didn't ruin your date.

It's all forgotten.

Are you two still--

No.

Ahem.

I'm sorry to hear that.

You have nothing
to be smug about.

I miss you.

Do you?

I want to be with you, Ginger.

What makes you think
I'm still interested?

Can't people make mistakes?

It depends on the mistake.

Well, what if it was huge?

What if it was that some guy
went chasing after a woman he

didn't even know,
even-- even though he'd

met this other terrific
woman, and they

had a terrific friendship?

And when he was with her,
he felt like a good person,

because life was full,
like it meant something.

I can't kiss you.

Why not?

Give me one good reason.

Because deep down, I
doubt that you are capable--

Long term pair bonding.

Exactly.

People change, Ginger.

That's what's nice about us.

We evolve.

It's such an
appealing hypothesis.

Where'd you go?

I feel like I lost
you for a second.

I'm right here.

[music playing]

(SINGING) That was unexpected.

I'm left here unprotected.

And that's how I want it.

That's how I want it.

You're outrageous
and not my type.

Unexpected, and
that's what I like.

You're a stormy fella,
and me with no umbrella.

And that's how I want it.

That's how I want it.

You're outrageous
and not my type.

Unexpected, and
that's what I like.

[music playing]

(SINGING) Want the
doll, want the ball.

Want the bling, want a ring.

Want to chill, want to
thrill, I want it all.

I want the doll, want the ball.

Want the bling, want a ring.

I want to chill, want to thrill.

I want it all.

I want the peace,
and I want the love.

I want to climb the peak above.

Want the smooth, but
I want the crest.

Want the calm, but
I want the best.

Want to chill,
but I want to fill

the epic of this last thrill.

Want my cake and to eat it too.

I won't forsake me for you.

I want the doll.

I want the ball.

Something tall.

Want the bling, want a ring.

Let me sing.

I want to chill, want a thrill.

Because I'm saying when
it's hot, I want a lot.

I want it all.

Want the doll.

I want the ball.

Something tall.

Want the bling, want a ring.

Let me sing.

Want to chill, want a thrill.

Because I'm saying when
it's hot, I want a lot.

I want it all.

Want to shine.

No waiting in line.

Want to find all the time.

Want it fast, but
I want it slow.

Want it flat, but
I want to grow.

I want your bump,
but I want more.

Want to climb, but
I want to soar.

I want no risk,
but I want return.

You turn out, but
I want my turn.

I want the doll.

I want the ball.
Something tall.

Want the bling, want a ring.

Let me sing.

Want to chill, want a thrill.

Because I'm saying when
it's hot, I want a lot.

I want it all.

I want the doll.

I want the ball.
Something tall.

Want the bling, want a ring.

Let me sing.

Want to chill, want a thrill.

Because I'm saying when
it's hot, I want a lot.

I want it all.