All language subtitles for Tom.Of.Your.Life.2020.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX].en

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Jess.

- Jess!
- Shh.

- Shit. What did I just say?
- This is fun!

- You just said shit.
- Quiet now, Tom.

Morning, Jess.

Hey, Gaby.

Are we ready to get
an obstetrics this morning?

Yeah, yeah,
I'm just not feeling so well.

- So...
- Oh.

But what you got a hospital
garbage can there for, Jess?

Huh... Oh...

Yeah, I was, um,
just doing some spring cleaning.

Oh. But is October.

Yeah, well, I'm just, uh,

a slow cleaner.

- What's that sound?
- The, the birds?

Those are birds.

Singing.

What are those?

Those are trees.

Those are trees. When they're
all bunched together,

like there's a lot
of them all at once,

it's called a forest.

A bug!

You know what a bug is?

Yeah, somethings I
know, and some things I don't.

All right.

Well, let's say, "Goodbye, bug."

Bye, bug, nice knowing you.

Don't pick it up.

- What is it?
- A time suck.

Hey, um, you know, there is
some clothes in the back seat.

Why don't you hop back there
and change into them?

All right.

- You see that? That is a farm.
- Yeah.

I know what a farm is.

Where did you get these clothes?

Um, another kid at,
at the hospital gave them to me.

- He just gave them to you?
- Yeah, yeah.

People are nice
in this world, Tom.

Jesus, Dennis.

What do you need me for?
Call the FBI.

I will call the FBI,
but right now

I'm trying to keep this in-house

- as long as I possibly can.
- Why?

Because I just got this fucking
promotion and because,

- because of Jess.
- Oh, don't tell me you love a nurse.

Mr. B.,
you have the Wisconsin Hospital's

administrators meeting.

Cancel it.

Yeah, I do.

I do love her.

Is that so unheard of?

Between you and me, Margaret is
driving me crazy at home,

and when am I ever going to get a
piece of ass like that again, ever?

I never did before
and I never will again.

Mr. B., I hear you still.

God damn it.

It's not Mr. B.,
it's Mr. Benedict, okay?

Sorry, the last administrator
preferred I call him Mr...

Yeah, well, I, I'm not him,
so it's Mr. Benedict, all right?

Ben-e-dick, got it.

God damn it,
I hate this old system.

- Did you try her apartment?
- Yeah, I went straight over there,

she wasn't there.
I'm calling her,

it's going straight
to voicemail.

You know, Dennis, you got to,

you got to put it out,
a whatchmacallit,

- an APB with the Sheriff's office.
- I will, I will.

It... it's, it's complicated.

This kid she took, he's, um,

he has a condition.

It's not contagious, I mean,

let's just say that
he's an extraordinary find.

What are you eating?

Meatloaf.

What it tastes like?

Loaf of meat.

Sorry. You're eating breakfast,
you can't just say "hi" to those people.

- Hi to those people.
- No, don't.

Very cute.

So,

I need to tell you
something, Tom,

and I'm not really sure
how to tell you,

so I'm just going
to kind of blurt it out there.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Um, see,
you were born at 4.44 a.m...

this morning, you were born at
4.44 a.m. This morning,

just two hours ago, and, um...

- Okay.
- You seem to...

every hour on the hour,

uh, age,

grow and...

evolve four years.

And no one knows why,
no one can explain this,

so, um,

I decided...

uh...

that rather than you spending
your entire life in...

Bless you, sir.

One of those, um...

one of those lab rooms,

just being poked and prodded,

I would get you out of there

and show you something,

something more...

Something...

Hello, you in there?
Are you listening?

Yeah, born this morning,
age four years every hour.

I wa... I want to see a picture,
can I?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

- That's a sailboat.
- Yeah, it is.

- How do you know that?
- I don't know.

Can we go on one?

Um, I'm not really a sailor,

but I could get you
on a sailboat.

Cool.

This place is amazing.

It gets better.

That took forever.

It's called running errands,

big part of life,
but now we got snacks,

juice, new phone, new clothes.

It's so comfortable.

That's your comfortable dance?

Pretty good.
There's that guy again. Shit.

Go easy on
those cheese balls, kiddo.

Shit.

Um, hey, Tom, there's a,

there's a bag just right there,

- do you mind grabbing it? Yeah. Yeah, that's it.
- This one?

Thank you so much.

And now, I just need you to
help me out here a little bit,

I need your help.

Okay, go for it.

Good job.

Okay, thank you.

Oh, my God.

Whoo.

I guess that wasn't a cop.

What you staring at,
cheese ball?

Hey, you know what
I used to love doing

when I was a kid?

No.

I will show you.

Here it is. Oh, so cute.

Take a picture
with my new phone.

Nice.

I'm on his back,
he must hate me.

No, he doesn't, he's a horse.

He's strong,
he's built for this.

- It's like exercise, good.
- Hey, nature boy,

are we riding or not?

I want to get down.

Really?

You sure?

It's fun.

Who's that?

He looks pretty hungry.

That's Lefty.

- He's old as fuck.
- Hey!

Kid is 12 years old.

Sorry, ma'am.

Here, Lefty.

Hey, you know that's a pony.

You can't ride that.

I didn't...

didn't want to, anyway.
Why would anyone want to do that?

Uh, I used to love
riding horses.

Could I take him out
into the forest?

Um...

- Could I take him for a walk?
- Well...

that guy said he was
too old for that.

So...

Is this what they do
to old people?

Put them to the side
and forget about them?

Like they're not there?

Sometimes.

Is that what you're going
to do to me?

No.

No, I will not do that to you.

Okay? Never.

This is too much, too much,

too much, too much for me.

University of Chicago, operator.

Hi, uh, can you please
put me in touch with,

um, the office
of Dr. Bill Albrecht

in the Bioengineering
Department?

Yes, he did give me
the extension, but I seem to...

Right we're... we're old friends.

Yeah, I'll find the card,
I will find the card.

- You have a lot of horses.
- Yeah.

They're all locked
up until someone pays you

to climb on their back.

Stop talking to me, kid.

You're doing good, Jess.
This is good.

This is good.

I'm telling you,
the son of a bitch is a devil.

He's got
right in front of my eyes.

Come take a God damn look
at yourself.

You just come take a look.

Hey, hey, hey.

We got to go,
we got to get out of here, okay?

It's me, it's, it's Tom.

Bye, Lefty.

Nice knowing you.

Seatbelt.

- What's that smell?
- Nothing.

Because the father is
a navy guy coming in from Europe

and the mother is sedated
from a complicated C-section.

Very well,
I just talked to her co-workers,

and she's very familiar
with the staff,

- if you catch my drift.
- Yeah, well, she, she got around a bit,

but she and I were...

Around with a particular

pharmaceutical guy named Lance.

- Does he know where she is?
- No.

Well, then, just find
her and no more loans.

- All right.
- I mean it, I am not going to pay

your late cable bill,
or the rep on your trailer,

- nothing.
- All right, Jesus.

Where are we going?

Chicago, big city,
you'll really like it.

And put some music on.

How do I do that?

Like this.

That's okay.

There. Okay.

Hey, stop.

I liked that song.

Definitely not.

Hey, whoa.

Chill, pick a fucking station.

Okay, that is a little loud.

Okay. My bad.

- Oh, hey, hey, hey, stop the car, stop the car.
- What? What, what?

Look at that boat,
I want to see that boat.

- That dried out boat?
- Yeah, it's a sailboat.

We're looking for a sailboat,
remember?

- What is with this obsession with sailing?
- I...

I don't know, I just, I saw a picture at
Full Moon Family Restaurant open 24 hours,

and I just, I thought it looked
fun, I want to try it.

Tom.

- What? You said that I could.
- I did?

Yes, well, you said,
"Um, I don't do sailboats,

but if you want to,
we can do it."

Well, now we found one, come on.

I'll find you another one
when we get to Chicago,

okay,
where there's actually water.

Let's just find
another car first.

Hey, I, I've been thinking,

could I maybe try driving?

- I've been watching you.
- You're not old enough.

Oh, wait. Actually, you are.

Hop out.

- What, rea... really? Really?
- Change places.

- Yeah, let's go, let's do this, first driving lesson.
- Cool.

Son of a bitch.

Where is that boat?

Uh, UFC hospital,
Dr. Albrecht's office,

- please.
- Ma'am, I've told you, unless you are family,

-
- I can't leave him a message?

- No, I can't give the...
- I, I told you,

- I lost the damn extension.
- Ma'am, if it's an emergency,

- I'll put you through...
- Thank you yes, this is a...

fucking emergency.

Hello,
no one is available to take your call.

Hey, uh, hey, Bill, it's, um, it's me.

Uh, see you still don't have
a personalized voice message.

It's very, very you.

Um, look,
I am coming to Chicago,

and, uh, no... not to see you,

I know, I know,
this is actually not about me,

- it's about a patient. Jesus.
- Are you satisfied...

No, I'm not fucking satisfied.

Fuck, shit.

You need a lift?

Not in your purple piece
of shit, rape van, I don't.

That was hurtful.

Teenager steals a
car, where does he go?

Big shocker.

Parked right next
to purple rape van guy.

Perfect.

Okay, so, I got the title,

and off we go,
I think so. Okay

- I.D.
- You check mine, but you didn't check his?

- Oh, shit.
- You, outside, now.

- Ma'am, can I help you?
- You, purple rape van guy.

- Can you not call me that?
- You're right, sorry.

Look, I want to make
a deal with you.

I'm not mad.

I'm trying to have you
understand something

about those women back there.

There is...

a person in there,
a human, just like you,

just as complicated as you,

just as important as you.

- All right?
- Okay.

And that's true of me
and every other woman out there,

every single one.

- You follow?
- Yeah.

And women,

like men,

also enjoy sex.

Love having sex.

And,

you know, it's, it's,
it's just, just with,

preferably with someone
that they love.

Or...

- or like, or tolerate, or...
- So, those naked ladies back there,

dancing for those men,
they enjoy it.

Yeah...

they were doing that probably because
they were forced into it for some reason.

Maybe they ran out of money,

or maybe they were so...

drugged that they just...

Ah, shit.

Oh, jackpot.

What?

Nothing. Nothing,
nothing, nothing.

Um...

I just...

The point is,

that the feelings that
you are feeling

are totally normal.

Totally normal.

What are...

What are you,
what are you thinking?

All I can think about
is sticking my thingy

- between a woman's legs.
- Oh, Jesus.

You need to masturbate.

Okay.

Here is what we're going to do.

Okay,
I'm going to get out of the van,

and you're going to do
what you feel like doing.

- I feel like probably rubbing it really hard.
- Okay.

- And maybe even, like, caressing it.
- Great.

Okay, I don't need
to hear any more of that.

Hmm.

Hello,
no one is available to take your call.

Hi, um, hi, it's me, Jess.

Um,

I'm not calling for the reasons
you probably think.

I'm calling, um,

I actually have
a very unique, uh, case,

a very special patient
that I am interested in,

um, sharing with you.

So, if you, uh,

you, you should call me back.

Okay, thanks. Bye.

Here you go, guys.

- Morning, ma'am. How are you?
- Good morning.

Does, uh,
Jessica Budusky live here?

Yes, she does.

You're the pharmacy fella
that's suppose

- to come by last night?
- Uh, yeah.

Right, you missed the fun,
I had fried chicken and beer.

- Hell of a time.
- Sounds like it.

- I was wondering if I might be able to...
- What's with your glasses?

Nothing, they just
get darker in the light.

She gave me her key
to go grab some things for her.

- You mind if I go in?
- Go ahead, suit yourself.

Jesus.

Interesting.

Unbiased, younger both because

- we grew up...
- I could tell by the diversity of this group.

Thank you.

I'm hoping that is not sarcasm.

Oh, it's the whole sarcasm.

Independence, nothing.

What do you think that the,
the theme is

or the pattern or the,
or the messages with that?

I think once
again, we have to wait

to see whether this is a pattern

or whether it's an aberration
in a single year.

You seem like
a very thoughtful man

and then you sexually
assaulted my mind.

Interesting.

You know, just like,
you know, the Academy Awards

the nickname is...

- Yeah.
- Anything?

Possibly.

What do you know
about a restraining order

issued against your gal
by doctor William Albrecht?

- What?
- Um,

yeah, I found it
alongside this picture.

Strapping young gent.

You know this guy?

No, where is that?

Well, my guess, um,

restraining order
is from Chicago,

looks like Chicago off
in the background there.

How can you tell
that that's Chicago?

I train off
in the background there.

I'd say this is her ex,
and she pissed him off enough

that she had a restraining
order slapped on her.

What does this mean?

You think she went to Chicago?

Fuck if I know.

- Look, Dennis.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.

I haven't even finished
my sentence.

Yeah, well, the way you look

that is a question about Mom.

- It's not about Mom.
- Good.

- It's about Dad.
- You know what?

- We are not talking about that.
- Not ever?

Never. The only way
I can deal with you,

the only way for you
to understand is

if we do not talk about Dad.
You got it?

Hard nuts.

Think someone here has a boat?

Better.

Got a little surprise for you.

What?

I know someone at the University of
Chicago Bioengineering Department.

Basically, like,
one of the top ten

- greatest hospitals in the world.
- What?

Mm-hm. You thought this trip
was just about fun, didn't you?

- Can they cure me?
- Maybe.

Yeah, I don't, I don't know.

I, um...

You understand, I don't want
you to get your, your hopes up,

but I do know someone there
who's a genuine genius.

Very well connected and I think
we should just go see him

and see what he has to say
while we're here.

- O... Okay?
- Okay. Yeah.

That looks fun.

What? What, the Ferris wheel?

Uh, it's boring.

You just sit there
and it goes around once,

slowly and that's it. It sucks.

Seems fun to me.

Costume change.

Fuck.

I need...

a better look.

Hey, I always forget my purse.

You have one job.

Don't let me go anywhere
without my purse.

- Okay?
- Okay.

How do I look?

You look

you know, you know.

Okay, um, change of plan.

Stay out here,
just right on the corner there,

I'll be right back, okay?

All right, see you in a second.

Hi.

Um...

Hi, I'm here to see,

um, doctor,

- doctor Bill Albrecht.
- Oh, he's not in right now.

Uh, would you like me
to leave a message for him?

Uh, no.

Well, yeah.

He's not here, um,

Wha... what's, what's your name?

- Me? Uh, Madeline.
- Yeah. Madeline.

I thought his, his labs were usually
in this building on Tuesdays.

Uh...

So, thinking, just thinking. Oh.

- Hi, um.
- Hey.

I... he... he's, he's with me.

Yeah, he's with me.

Um...

Thinking...

thinking, thinking,
thinking, thinking...

Uh, oh, well, his, uh,

his lab did get canceled today

because of the faculty
board meeting.

The faculty board meeting. Um,

yeah, forgot all about those.

Would you mind, uh, just reminding me
where tho... where those take place?

Uh, it's,

well, uh,

I know he'll be back here
around four o'clock.

Four o'clock.

- Yeah.
- Four o'clock. You sure?

- Four o'clock.
- Mm-hm.

You sure?

I'm, I'm pretty sure, yeah.

Okay. Four o'clock.

Well, we will be back
at four o'clock.

- Okay, see you then, four o'clock.
- Okay.

Nice knowing you.

Bye.

Okay, that was weird,
you're acting weird.

- Where now?
- A boat.

You said you wanted to go on
a boat, we're going on a boat.

Hey, Jess,
I'm not a kid anymore.

Come on.

What?

Ah. Uh.

I got chunky.

What I tell you
about the cheese balls?

Let's go.

And you know somebody
with a sailboat?

Miles and miles
just all this flat land

and then these huge buildings

that have stood
the test of time.

- Now, coming of...
- This is not a sailboat.

It's a boat.

It's a floating sidewalk
of elderly people.

This is interesting.

Look at these buildings!

- Incredible attention to detail, the pure artistry.
- Hey.

Could you keep it down,
I'm trying to listen to the tour guide.

Oh, eat a dick.

Tom, hey, Tom.

Tom.

Oh, okay,
you're not talking to me now.

Hey, everybody.

Meet the world's
most boring person.

I have one day to live
and she decides to take me

on a two hour architecture tour.
Boring lady.

- Hey, I happen to like architecture.
- No, I get it, I get it.

You like architecture,
you get it?

You like buildings that
were built 100 years ago

that stand the test of time.

- Shit, I'm sorry. I was...
- Yeah, that's right.

You like horses,

you like Chicago, and Bill,

- and want to see Bill. Bullshit.
- Yeah, to help you.

I like meatloaf, okay.

I want to go
on a Ferris wheel and whack off.

Not at the same time.

And I want to go sailing.

Sailing, sailing,

not float around the river
on a giant turd.

How's your Long Island iced tea?

Good.

Make one for me.

- Baseball game after this, right?
- Yeah.

Hey.

Drink this.

I got a head start.

What is it?

It's a Long Island iced tea,
it's delicious.

Trust me.

Cheers.

- Cheers.
- Yep, it's what you say when you take your first sip

of an alcoholic beverage.

It's pretty good.

Please, kill me.

Kind of showing you shit,
at least, share that.

I, you just want...

- I...
- Wow.

I want to do what you
want to do, okay? That's all.

I want to do
what you want to do.

Okay?

What do people do,

besides, you know, be tourists?

I guess
that is what we do, just...

stop by and check
things out and...

and then we leave.

Where do we go?

No one knows.

It's your call, Tom.

Well, I heard two people
talking about something

called a baseball game,

that sounds like fun.

- Maybe.
- Maybe?

It's 2:15 and with traffic.

- But you just said...
- I know what I said, it's just,

when you're aging
four years an hour,

watching an entire baseball game

might not be
the best thing to do.

Do you ever do
anything for fun, Jess?

You know, like, enjoyable?

Look,
we are going to this doctor

- to try and save your life.
- Yeah, you don't know how to have fun.

- Why am I not surprised by it?
- No offense, Tom,

but you don't know shit
about me, okay?

So, where do you
want to go later?

- What?
- It's them, that's him.

- That's Bill?
- Yeah.

You get wet,
I don't have my umbrella.

- Bill. Hey, Bill.
- That's Bill.

- Hi, Madeline.
- Let me catch you later.

- Yeah, okay.
- Jess.

- Hey, doctor Albrecht.
- Hi, Bill.

Hi, Bill, hi.

- Is this really where we're at now?
- What are you doing here?

I was in Chicago on business,

as I said
in my various messages, plural.

Did you get any of those?

- You know I could have you arrested right now.
- Yeah, you're right,

you could have me arrested, but you
know what? I could have you arrested.

Everybody could have
everybody arrested,

maybe we all should
just arrest each other.

I'm leaving.

Okay, listen Bill, I, I,

I get it, you are angry with me,

I understand, but this is,

- actually not why I'm...
- Angry with you? No.

Why I'm here, I'm here,

- well, that's Tom.
- I'm fucking scared of you.

- You're scared of me?
- Hello.

- I know who you are.
- I'm Tom.

- Listen, this is...
- Um, and I don't know if you know who you're with, but, uh,

- you should get the hell away from her as soon as you can.
- Okay, listen, asshole,

alright,
this is not whoever you are,

this is Tom, this is someone
I want you to meet.

And you are not going to talk down
to him the way that you do to me

or to anybody else
in this fucking institution,

you fucking arrogant,
fuck face psycho,

- fake feminist, bull cunt.
- I'm psycho?

- I'm done here.
- Okay.

- I've got your plate.
- Okay, okay, listen.

I was going through
an intensely rough time.

I admit that.

But you left me,

you fucking abandoned me at the
worst time of my fucking life.

- It was my miscarriage too.
- Bullshit.

You don't fucking know.

I got your plates.

- I'm calling the police.
- Yeah.

Go ahead,
call the fucking police.

I don't give a fuck.

Call the fucking police.

Call the fucking police,
doctor Bill fucking Albrecht.

That was a stop sign.

I thought you'd stop, but...

it's okay, you just go.

Seatbelt.

Wow,
look at all the water out there.

Jess.

Jess?

I just need to close my eyes
for like ten minutes.

Like ten minutes.

Jess.

- Jess.
- What?

Oh, um, okay, I'm sorry, I...

I didn't... I thought
you might have been, uh...

Tom, I need to sleep.

I mean, what happens?

Um...

You don't really
go anywhere, but...

you dream.

Reality, all its own,
takes shape, and...

You live in that reality,

till you wake.

Jess.

Um?

What's a miscarriage?

Jess.

I'll be right back.

Wait, I...

- I'm sorry, did I say something?
- No, everything's fine.

Just going for a walk.

Well, I thought you
were going to be sleep...

Sleeping.

Dead end.

- Hey.
- Hi.

$50.55.

Fuck.

You have one job,

don't let me go anywhere
without my purse, okay?

Ma'am, you the owner of this vehicle?

Oh, shit.

- Oh, sorry, sorry.
- Yeah, yeah.

You got to hold on to something.

Yeah, hold on to something.

Do you have a problem?

I saw,

like, a big picture of a man,

and he had color
in his skin like, like yours.

Huh?

The color of skin
was like yours.

What happened to it?

Nothing happened to it.
What happened to yours?

Hey, uh,

nice knowing you.

Yeah, whatever.

So many different kinds
of people in the world.

Fuck them, fuck them all.

You mean, stick my penis
in all their vaginas?

I don't know if I'll have time.

Doors closing.

That's fucking funny, you are...

Penis in all of them.

Doors open on the left.

Hey,
what are you doing right now?

Standing passengers, please
do not lean against the doors.

Not much.

I'm not nuts.

Why, why am I here?

Why did you bring me here?

Okay, all I was do... I... I...

Is it... What is this about?

Because I don't know,
no one's telling me anything.

I just got in a car, I got here,
thank you for the donut.

I'm trying to be cooperative,
but no one is fucking telling me anything.

- I didn't do a Go... I didn't do a God damn thing.
- Doctor Albrecht.

- Yeah, doctor.
- I had a Ms. Cruisemark

- said you assaulted...
- Assaulted?

- That's a lie.
- Excuse me, uh,

Ms. Budusky, Clarke Gillespie,

Gillespie, Gillespie and Simon.

Is that a band?

Law firm.

I'll take it from here,
detective, thank you.

She violated
an order of protection...

Is the issuer pressing charges?

- Issuer?
- The guy who filed the order, is he pressing charges?

I'm getting
her side of the story

and then I'll be calling him.

Well, it's actually
illegal to hold her here

if he's not pressing charges.

I think you should go
call him now.

Yeah, why don't you do that?

You don't look like an attorney.

I'm not, I'm a private investigator
hired by Dennis Benedict.

Benedict, still a dick.

Yeah, I heard that one before,
I'm his brother.

Great.

He says you took
a child this morning.

- Where is he?
- Tom.

- Please, please, let me get out of here and find him.
- I just...

Just tell me where he is
and I'll pick him up.

I'm not going to tell you shit.

You're not a lawyer and you're probably
not a private investigator either.

Yeah, you know you're an
extremely lucky lady, Ms. Budusky,

the police don't know you
kidnapped a child this morning.

Federal offense,
you know why they don't know?

Because your brother
wants to fuck me again?

More or less.

Where is the child now?

- Not a child.
- What do you mean?

I mean, he ages four years
every hour on the hour.

I... I saw, I saw a special
on the news about that.

- 2020, about that aging disease, that's fine.
- No.

That's progeria, that's a genetic
disease, is not what this is.

Dennis didn't tell you?

- Well, he said he had a rare disorder.
- Yeah.

This child was born
at 4:44 this morning,

and, at exactly 5:44,

he literally turned
into a four year old boy,

and, at 6:44, he turned
into an eight year old,

and, at 7:44,
he turned into a 12 year old,

- and I know...
- Wait, what do you mean?

That this sounds impossible,

but it's not impossible,

it is happening,
right now, to him,

and I fucking left him.

I left him,

- just as... I... I need to,
- Okay.

I need to find him.

Yeah, you need
to tell me where he is,

- and I'll go get him.
- I'm not crazy.

Uh, just tell me where he is.

- Ma'am...
- Don't ma'am me, fuck face,

just get me out of here
and I will take you to him.

You know, it's not
going to be that easy, you...

He's not
pressing charges this time.

Then again.

Let's get out of here.

Tom must be going
out of his mind by now.

Oh, yeah!

Hey, where did your friend go?

- You're out too?
- I'm out,

- but I'm definitely in,
- Fifteen.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, we're heading back
to where she parked the van

to pick him up.

Okay.

- Putting him on speaker phone.
- Yeah, knock yourself out.

- Oh, shit, I dropped the phone...
- You're on speakerphone, Dennis.

Okay, Jess, um,
now listen to me, um,

you, uh,

you're in a lot of trouble.

You're about, um,
five seconds away

- from having an FBI SWAT team on your ass.
- Sounds hot.

It, this isn't a joke.
It's, it, it's no joke.

Can you, um, can you, uh,
take the phone off speaker

so I can say something
to you privately?

- Please.
- Fine. Give me the phone.

Thank you.

Oh, Jess,
this is going to sound,

I, I don't know,
over the top, but, um,

it's true.

I love you.

Dennis?

Damn.

You shouldn't have done that.

His head is
so far up his own ass,

I bet you $100 bucks
he's in the middle

of a five minute monologue
and he hasn't even noticed

that I hung up.

I was nominated
prom king and, you know,

this... it felt nice, you know?

No, no, you've got him pegged.

There, there, there, there,
that's the lot, here it is.

- Hold on, lady.
- What? Hurry up please.

Let's... just hold on,
I got to park.

Oh, this fucking...
Jesus Christ. Tom!

Fucking cheese balls.

He took my purse.

Stole your purse?

No, he's looking for me.

God, I'm such a shitty shit,

why did I do...

- Why did I leave him?
- Look, if he is

looking for you,
he's bound to come back here.

He doesn't know his right
from his left, Carl.

Carl, please.

He is lost out there,

he will be 60 years old soon,

and I need to find him

before he, before...

Please, God, please.

- You know, if I find him, I'm taking you both back.
- Whatever, fine,

just let's go.

You okay there?

Well,

apparently my butt
has a hole in it.

Something came out of it,

and now I feel pretty good.

Okay.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- Hi. Hey.
- Hey.

These are friends of mine,
came while you were indisposed.

- Uh, Nevada?
- Uh, I'm Jody-Ann.

Terrible of me. This is Nevada,

and this is Jody-Ann.

Hi. Hi, it's nice
to meet you both.

Brother, you look like
you aged five years in there.

Four, actually.
What are you doing here?

It's, uh, poker.

- Never played? It's easy.
- No.

Trying to get the best hand
out of five cards.

You beat the other guy if you try
to see in line with what they get.

- You're all in.
- What does that?

"All in" means all
of those chips, he's betting

every chip
he has in front of him.

He wants me to think
he has the better hand.

- You see, I played old Schmitty here...
- Okay are we playing here

or are we whispering
sweet nothings?

He raise
his eyebrows excessively.

He isn't telling the truth.

Go ahead, you tell me,

is he raising
his eyebrows right now?

Look at him, look at him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's... he is d...

Okay, okay, okay.
Now, watch this, watch this.

I call, show them.

Full house.

- Mother fucker.
- Is that bad?

- You said he was raising his eyebrows.
- I, I...

- I thought he wa...
- He was.

Saw his eyebrows raise.

Yeah, I saw it too.

See, old Schmitty here,

smart mother fucker that he is,

he knows his own tell,

and he knew
that I knew his tell,

but, you see, he knew that I
didn't know that he knew his tell.

So he faked me out,
by purposely doing his tell

so I'd think he's lying

and he was actually
telling the truth,

that he had a good hand,

so that I'd give
him all my fucking money.

It is my money,
I mean, that you're...

Well your money,
my... our, our money, okay?

So, people, people lie?

- No.
- No, people don't lie.

- They don't.
- People lie so fucking much these days,

they don't even know they're lying anymore.

- Like, like this, this phone, big fucking lie.
- Can I see that?

It's a... it's like a,

a funnel of bullshit
all day long.

I thought we were playing
a game, you know,

the action is on you.

Tom, are you okay there?

I, I, um, I'm,

I'm just, um.

- I...
- I s..., I swear to God, he looks like he aged

five fucking years
since he left the john.

Can we change
the subject, please?

If you had a week to live,
what would you do?

Not this.

I'd rob a bank. Go to Vegas.

I'm going for a cigarette.

Just for the excitement,

and to finance my week
of fucking and doing blow.

Is that what life is?

Eating, drinking,
smoking, humping?

That's what life is,
eating, drinking,

sucking, fucking, he's right.

No, he's not.

It's another country
where you're from.

Okay, Socrates.

You tell us what life is about.

- Here it comes.
- Cards.

Yeah,
as a matter of fact, it is.

Because the veiled truth

is that life is a packaged

consumer transaction.

This little game

you playfully feed off
one another

is a packaged
consumer transaction.

This is life.

Two players,
two horrible players.

One jack off.

- Everything...
- Make that two jack offs.

And sold to the highest bidder.

Art, education, health care,

things that were
initially designed

for the betterment of mankind

are no longer created
for that purpose.

Oh, this song,

this movie or this book,

or this suit or this dress,

or this cologne,
a game, or that phone,

- this will enhance your life...
- Need my phone back.

- Or enrich your experience.
- What?

Can I... I, I just want to,
I want to keep it.

No, you weirdo, it's mine.

Screen, upon screen,
upon screen.

Nobody is here.

Here.

We're all just
transactional creatures.

Oh, now I get it.

Hey, can I ask you?

Sure.

You got... you got one,
you got one day to, to live,

just out of curiosity, I'd, I...
I'd like to know, what would you do?

One day to live?

That's easy, my friend.

I'd fuck.

There you go.

Join the club.

Well, I'd really like
to try that sometime.

Tom, aren't you
like 50 something?

Uh, 60 something now.

Here is a nice couple.

Yeah. Go easy on him.

To be old again.

Wait, what?

Mind if I smoke?

Yeah, actually I do.

My God damn car.

Sorry?

I said it's my God damn car.

Okay, then don't ask.

Why are you doing this?

Because I'm getting paid.

And, uh, well,

to get back in the, uh,

- good graces of my mother and sister.
- Good graces.

Huh.

You must have fucked up, then.

If your mom and your sister
are pissed at you.

Yeah, well...

Family is family.

Sometimes...

Sometimes family fucks you up,
sometimes you fuck up family.

What did you do?

Wha... what did you do
to get a restraining order

slapped on you?

I'll tell you if you tell me.

After you.

I, um,

tried to run over
somebody with my car.

- Interesting.
- Yep.

And?

Why, pray tell, did you try to
run someone over with your car?

Huh, um...

We were together,

and we were going
to have a baby,

but, um,

it didn't happen.

And...

I went a little nuts,

and he left me

as I was going a little nuts,

and...

I found him,

he wouldn't let me see him,

so I decided to try
and run him over.

And that's it.

That's what I did.

Well, I'm sure there is
more sordid details

you're not telling me.

Oh, we can get to those later,
Carl, because you're up.

You must've done something
pretty cray-cray, I guess.

Well,

I, um,

my father was in a,

a pretty bad car accident

when I was in my 20s,

and he was in a coma for,
for a really long time.

And...

Uh, I decided it was better
that he not be hooked up

to all those machines
for God knows how long.

So,

guess you could say
I unplugged him.

I was really high
at the time, too.

My family wanted
to press charges.

My own mother.

And, um,

and Dennis got them,
my mother and sister, to reconsider.

But my own family thinks I
murdered my old man, I'm a bum,

I'm an alcoholic.

I am. I'm recovering though.

And, um, guess, um, that's,

that's the story.

That's the story, morning glory.

That's the word, hummingbird.

Oh, that last bit is from a
musical I was in at high school.

Popped into my head,
don't know where that came from.

I, I didn't have you pegged
for a musical theater guy.

Yeah, well,

it's where the girls were.

Well,

sounds to me, Carl, like,

you actually did a good thing.

I don't know,
sometimes I think I did,

sometimes I think I didn't.

I don't, I don't really know
anymore, I don't...

I don't care,
it was a long time ago.

Yeah, I don't know about that,
it sounds like y...

you still care.

What the fuck do you know?

Ingeborg,
what time did the navy say

they were getting the boy's
father here in the morning?

He's here.

What? Wait, what?

The navy got him a plane

to Milwaukee
and a helicopter to here.

Thank you, Ingeborg.

Can I, um...

Dennis Benedict?

Ah, no.

So you just like to have a garbage ass sign
on your door that says "Dennis Benedict?"

- Uh...
- Sit.

- Thanks for shaving.
- Yeah, it feels pretty good.

So, now what do we do?

Uh.

Wow.

That's sex.

Do you think they're
having sex across the street?

I, I don't know.

Hey, uh, I got an idea.

Um...

Uh, do you have a sailboat?

No.

You asked me that already.

- I did?
- Yeah, don't you remember?

No, I don't.

I really don't.

That's weird,
I used to remember everything.

Maybe sex wipes your memory.

You wish.

Would you like
to go sailing with me,

maybe sail off into the sun?

That sounds
nice, maybe next time.

Yeah. Next time.

305, 310, 315,

320, 325, 330, 335,

340, 350, 360, 370, 380...

Oh, I got a pack of
10s, I erased you.

450, 460, 470, 480.

Grabowski.

Hey.

Tommy boy!

Tommy, the tiger.

I'd like my purse back.

Excuse me?

My purse, my friend's purse,

- I'd like it back now.
- Here.

I want what's in the purse.

My friend's phone,

her wallet...

- Play nice, Gary.
- Her money.

You want me to give him a cut?

Okay, I'll give him a cut.

Grabowski,

you...

it has not been nice to know.

I just want to tell you guys,

it was really nice to know you...

- Strange guy.
- Oh, yeah.

Kind of liked him.

May I know where
we're going, sir?

I don't know.

I'm lost.

Okay, no worry.

I think I know
where we're going.

Okay.

Hello, there.

- May I help you with something?
- Uh...

I'm looking for, um, water.

- What?
- A big wa... water.

I'm putting up
a pot of hot coffee.

What?

You made what?

- Coffee, hot coffee.
- No, no.

Enormous water.

Boats.

The lake.

The lake.

Alright then,

when you go out of here,
turn right,

turn right,
when you get to the corner,

turn right again,

and that'll take you
right to the lake.

Right and then right.

Right.

But my friend,

you really don't have to leave.

It's perfectly all right
for you to spend the night here.

Blankets are warm,

and I'm putting up
a pot of hot coffee.

I'm good.

Nice house.

Before you take me in,
I have some clothes in the van

that I'd like to grab,

if that's all right.

Yeah, yeah.

Make it quick.

Oh, shit.

- Yeah?
- Hey, buddy.

Forget something?

- precisely the address where you are and...
- Hold on a second.

For you to just
kind of hang there.

Because, I need to see Jess,

and, um, look,
I need to see Jess.

- I just, so that we can...
- What a... shit.

Let me know if, uh,
I don't really have a...

Roll down the window.

Nice try, what's going on?

Uh, my name is Tom.

How about letting
an old man go, huh?

And I know we're
not always on the same page,

I get it, I know that,
you know, we've got,

we've got different
plans sometimes,

but Carl, if you could just do

one thing for me.

You there?

Carl?

Carl, what is happening?

Did you find him, is it him?

- I let him go.
- What?

You did what?

I know where I'm taking you.

- Where are you taking me?
- I'm getting you on a God damn sail boat

if I have to steal one to do it.

Okay, take it easy, crazy,

I'm a little old
for that shit now.

But from the
beginning you've said...

I know what I said.

I've just got
something else in mind.

We made it, Tom.

Oh, you're going
to meet your parents.

Tom.

Tom?

- Taking a nap.
- Oh, good.

Good.

Yeah, it is good.

You were right about the
sleeping, it's really good.

There's something that I,

I, I keep forgetting to ask you.

What?

Why did you do this

with me?

I don't know.

Was it maybe

to see that guy
again in Chicago?

No.

I don't know.

Maybe.

And how did that work out?

Um, not so great.

I don't have anybody.

You have me.

I love you, Tom.

- What's that?
- I said I love you.

I heard you,
you just said it in my ear,

I mean, I don't know
what the word means.

I think you do.

It's this.

This is love?

Yeah.

Love is good.

- Hi to those people.
- No, Tom, very cute, but, all right.

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