All language subtitles for SpongeBob SquarePants 1999 S15 E01
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1
00:00:07,517 --> 00:00:08,896
- Are you ready, kids?
2
00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:10,448
kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!
3
00:00:10,551 --> 00:00:12,103
- I can't hear you.
4
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,068
kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!
5
00:00:14,137 --> 00:00:17,103
- ♪ Ohh... ♪
6
00:00:17,137 --> 00:00:19,172
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪
7
00:00:19,241 --> 00:00:21,241
kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
8
00:00:21,310 --> 00:00:23,034
- ♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪
9
00:00:23,103 --> 00:00:24,965
kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
10
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,206
- ♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪
11
00:00:27,275 --> 00:00:29,206
kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
12
00:00:29,275 --> 00:00:31,206
- ♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪
13
00:00:31,275 --> 00:00:33,103
kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?
14
00:00:33,206 --> 00:00:35,034
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
15
00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:37,172
SpongeBob SquarePants!
16
00:00:37,241 --> 00:00:39,068
SpongeBob SquarePants!
17
00:00:39,137 --> 00:00:40,517
- SpongeBob
18
00:00:40,586 --> 00:00:42,344
SquarePants!
19
00:00:42,413 --> 00:00:45,034
[laughing]
20
00:00:45,103 --> 00:00:47,344
[flute plays]
21
00:00:47,413 --> 00:00:49,000
[waves crashing]
22
00:00:50,448 --> 00:00:53,310
[light jazzy music]
23
00:00:53,379 --> 00:01:00,517
♪ ♪
24
00:01:02,172 --> 00:01:04,137
- Oh, Lady Upturn!
25
00:01:04,206 --> 00:01:06,793
Always a delight to
have you back at our gallery.
26
00:01:06,827 --> 00:01:09,379
- I'm bored by the art
in my home.
27
00:01:09,448 --> 00:01:13,137
What do you have that's
new and interesting?
28
00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:14,724
[sniffs] Ick.
29
00:01:14,793 --> 00:01:17,379
- Oh, I-I've been saving
our newest and finest
30
00:01:17,482 --> 00:01:19,379
pieces just for you.
31
00:01:19,448 --> 00:01:22,586
This work is by one of
our emerging artists.
32
00:01:22,655 --> 00:01:23,965
- Bleh.
33
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,482
Where did they emerge
from, under a rock?
34
00:01:27,586 --> 00:01:30,310
- Ah, how did you know?
35
00:01:30,344 --> 00:01:33,620
- Lady Upturn,
I am so, so sorry.
36
00:01:33,689 --> 00:01:37,137
I should never have
shown you that dreck.
37
00:01:39,862 --> 00:01:41,620
Never fear.
38
00:01:41,689 --> 00:01:45,551
This next work is
guaranteed to excite.
39
00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:48,034
[wheels squeaking]
40
00:01:48,137 --> 00:01:50,206
Bikini Bottom's
premier dance troupe
41
00:01:50,275 --> 00:01:52,551
has created
a performance so new,
42
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:54,758
even they don't
know what it is yet.
43
00:01:54,827 --> 00:01:55,965
[claps]
44
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,965
[dissonant jazz music playing]
45
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,758
♪
46
00:02:02,827 --> 00:02:04,103
- Yawn.
47
00:02:04,206 --> 00:02:06,827
Moving in time to
music is hardly new.
48
00:02:06,896 --> 00:02:09,275
This does nothing
for me, either.
49
00:02:12,655 --> 00:02:15,000
- Oh, surely, there's
something here you'll enjoy.
50
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,379
- No, I'm afraid not.
51
00:02:17,448 --> 00:02:19,068
Regigilled!
52
00:02:19,103 --> 00:02:21,724
I need a walk to clear my mind.
53
00:02:21,827 --> 00:02:25,000
Carry me.
- Very good, ma'am.
54
00:02:25,068 --> 00:02:27,344
[grunting]
55
00:02:27,413 --> 00:02:30,275
- Alas, I have failed.
56
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,379
Ow.
57
00:02:33,482 --> 00:02:36,931
[peaceful music]
58
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,827
- Whoo!
[laughs]
59
00:02:40,896 --> 00:02:42,551
- [inhales deeply]
60
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:46,137
[off-key tune playing]
61
00:02:46,206 --> 00:02:49,206
- No!
62
00:02:49,241 --> 00:02:53,172
- [screaming]
- [howling]
63
00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:55,172
- [wailing]
64
00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:57,551
♪ ♪
65
00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,827
- Oh?
- Oh.
66
00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:01,551
My apologies, madam.
67
00:03:01,620 --> 00:03:05,586
I shall remove your person
from this cacophony at once.
68
00:03:05,655 --> 00:03:08,310
- No, no, Regigilled.
Take me closer.
69
00:03:08,413 --> 00:03:10,448
- [groans] As you wish.
70
00:03:10,551 --> 00:03:12,275
♪ ♪
71
00:03:12,344 --> 00:03:13,551
- You, there!
72
00:03:13,620 --> 00:03:14,931
Yes, you!
73
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,655
- I'm allowed to play
my clarinet here.
74
00:03:17,724 --> 00:03:19,620
It's a free ocean, you know.
75
00:03:19,724 --> 00:03:21,068
I'm not stopping!
76
00:03:21,137 --> 00:03:22,379
- Stop?
77
00:03:22,448 --> 00:03:24,448
I wouldn't dream of it.
78
00:03:24,517 --> 00:03:28,310
That is the most interesting
and avant-garde music
79
00:03:28,344 --> 00:03:30,379
I have heard in years.
80
00:03:30,448 --> 00:03:32,862
Oh, it is sublime.
81
00:03:32,965 --> 00:03:36,482
Do you have a patron?
I simply must be yours.
82
00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:38,862
- Yeah, yeah, very funny.
83
00:03:38,965 --> 00:03:41,965
What is this, one of those
hidden-camera TV prank shows?
84
00:03:42,068 --> 00:03:43,413
- Heavens, no.
85
00:03:43,482 --> 00:03:45,793
Television
is the lowest form of art.
86
00:03:45,827 --> 00:03:47,586
Regigilled, pay the man.
87
00:03:47,655 --> 00:03:51,068
- You can't just buy the soul
of a raw talent like myself.
88
00:03:51,137 --> 00:03:52,862
[cash register bell dings]
89
00:03:52,931 --> 00:03:56,000
Lady, you just bought
yourself an artist.
90
00:03:56,068 --> 00:03:59,275
[upbeat music]
91
00:03:59,379 --> 00:04:02,103
Hello, losers.
92
00:04:02,172 --> 00:04:03,655
- Hi, Squidward.
93
00:04:03,724 --> 00:04:06,275
- What's with all the joy,
Mr. Squidward?
94
00:04:06,344 --> 00:04:09,551
- I'm a paid musician now.
95
00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:12,724
- You?
Musician? Paid?
96
00:04:12,793 --> 00:04:14,586
[laughing]
97
00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:17,241
- Laugh all you want,
but it's true.
98
00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:20,758
I don't need this minimum-wage
prison anymore.
99
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,862
I quit.
100
00:04:22,965 --> 00:04:25,896
- [laughing]
101
00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:28,896
[fanfare playing, horn honks]
102
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,689
[laughing]
103
00:04:30,793 --> 00:04:32,000
Huh?
104
00:04:32,034 --> 00:04:34,344
[fanfare continues]
105
00:04:34,379 --> 00:04:37,586
[horn honks, tires squealing]
106
00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:39,000
- Wow!
107
00:04:39,034 --> 00:04:42,206
Squidward's dreams are
finally coming true.
108
00:04:42,275 --> 00:04:45,103
[fanfare continues]
109
00:04:45,172 --> 00:04:47,103
[tires screech]
110
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:52,724
- Welcome to your new home,
Mr. Tentacles.
111
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,068
[objects tinkling]
112
00:04:56,689 --> 00:04:59,344
- Oh, my, it's incredible.
113
00:04:59,413 --> 00:05:01,827
But where are you
going to live?
114
00:05:01,896 --> 00:05:05,379
- [groans]
- [laughs] The mansion is mine.
115
00:05:05,448 --> 00:05:08,586
You just get one tiny room.
116
00:05:08,689 --> 00:05:11,448
- [gasps] Oh, my.
117
00:05:11,517 --> 00:05:13,448
Wow!
- [laughs]
118
00:05:13,517 --> 00:05:15,206
- I cannot wait to show you off
119
00:05:15,275 --> 00:05:18,034
to my wealthy,
taste-making friends,
120
00:05:18,103 --> 00:05:19,862
so you better get writing.
121
00:05:19,931 --> 00:05:21,413
- Yes, ma'am, ma'am.
122
00:05:21,448 --> 00:05:24,448
- Toodle-oo, you genius, you.
123
00:05:24,517 --> 00:05:27,620
[regal music]
124
00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:28,965
- [inhales deeply]
125
00:05:29,068 --> 00:05:31,931
[off-key tune playing]
126
00:05:32,034 --> 00:05:39,068
♪ ♪
127
00:05:41,034 --> 00:05:44,172
[upbeat orchestral music]
128
00:05:44,241 --> 00:05:50,275
♪ ♪
129
00:05:50,344 --> 00:05:52,310
[pen scratching]
130
00:05:52,379 --> 00:05:59,344
♪ ♪
131
00:05:59,413 --> 00:06:01,827
[shimmering tone,
angelic singing]
132
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,793
[off-key tune continues]
133
00:06:04,827 --> 00:06:07,931
[upbeat orchestral music]
134
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,862
[cash register bell dings]
135
00:06:10,965 --> 00:06:17,862
♪ ♪
136
00:06:17,965 --> 00:06:19,586
[laughing]
137
00:06:19,655 --> 00:06:22,862
[upbeat music]
138
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:29,724
♪ ♪
139
00:06:29,793 --> 00:06:31,896
[car horn honks]
140
00:06:31,965 --> 00:06:35,655
♪ ♪
141
00:06:35,724 --> 00:06:38,758
Out of my way, peon.
142
00:06:38,827 --> 00:06:40,551
- So sorry, my lord.
143
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:41,965
- Wow, Squidward.
144
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,551
That was very, uh,
confident of you.
145
00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:46,103
- Yes.
146
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:49,931
Being an artist requires
having an artist's temperament,
147
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,000
you boob.
148
00:06:51,103 --> 00:06:52,344
[snaps tentacles]
149
00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:53,689
What took you so long?
150
00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:56,517
Now, then, I'm only
here to invite you
151
00:06:56,586 --> 00:06:59,586
both to my big debut concert.
152
00:06:59,655 --> 00:07:02,172
[inhales deeply]
[clarinet squeaks]
153
00:07:02,241 --> 00:07:04,241
[clarinet honks]
- Huh?
154
00:07:04,275 --> 00:07:08,068
- Witness my rebirth
on the grandest stage
155
00:07:08,103 --> 00:07:10,034
in Bikini Bottom...
156
00:07:10,103 --> 00:07:14,206
if you can get the time off.
[laughing]
157
00:07:14,275 --> 00:07:16,931
- [growls] Somehow,
he's even more annoying now
158
00:07:17,034 --> 00:07:18,517
than when he worked here.
[horn honking]
159
00:07:18,586 --> 00:07:20,068
- Wait, Mr. Krabs.
160
00:07:20,137 --> 00:07:23,551
Squidward is just being
insufferable because his dreams
161
00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:25,206
are coming true.
162
00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:28,206
We have to go and support him.
We're his friends.
163
00:07:28,275 --> 00:07:32,655
- Well, "friends"
is a strong word, but fine.
164
00:07:34,034 --> 00:07:36,689
[sweeping music]
165
00:07:36,758 --> 00:07:39,172
♪ ♪
166
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,793
[door opens]
- Hiya, Squidward.
167
00:07:40,896 --> 00:07:43,103
Mr. Krabs and I just wanted
to wish you luck
168
00:07:43,206 --> 00:07:44,758
before your big show.
169
00:07:44,827 --> 00:07:47,896
- [scoffs] Luck?
Don't be stupid.
170
00:07:47,965 --> 00:07:51,310
I'm the greatest musician
who ever lived.
171
00:07:51,413 --> 00:07:53,172
Rich people say so.
172
00:07:55,758 --> 00:07:58,620
- Can't argue with money.
- Now, go find your seats.
173
00:07:58,724 --> 00:08:00,724
I'm in the middle
of my pre-show ritual,
174
00:08:00,793 --> 00:08:03,896
and I don't want
to be bothered.
175
00:08:03,965 --> 00:08:05,724
- Eh.
176
00:08:07,344 --> 00:08:11,482
[indistinct chatter]
177
00:08:11,517 --> 00:08:13,206
[cheers and applause]
178
00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:15,310
- Good evening, music lovers.
179
00:08:15,379 --> 00:08:20,172
Like me, I'm sure you are tired
of the same old notes being
180
00:08:20,206 --> 00:08:22,896
played the same old ways.
181
00:08:22,965 --> 00:08:24,275
Well, fear not.
182
00:08:24,344 --> 00:08:28,206
Tonight you will finally
hear something new.
183
00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:31,655
Tonight I present to you
184
00:08:31,689 --> 00:08:34,655
Mr. Squidward Tentacles.
185
00:08:34,689 --> 00:08:37,310
[cheers and applause]
186
00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:39,827
[fanfare playing]
187
00:08:39,862 --> 00:08:41,620
- Forget your wedding.
188
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:44,482
Forget the birth
of your first child.
189
00:08:44,551 --> 00:08:46,482
This is going to be
190
00:08:46,551 --> 00:08:49,517
the greatest night
of your lives.
191
00:08:49,586 --> 00:08:50,827
[applause]
192
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,517
all:
Oh!
193
00:08:52,586 --> 00:08:54,206
- [inhales deeply]
194
00:08:54,310 --> 00:08:57,137
[off-key tune playing]
195
00:08:57,241 --> 00:08:59,172
♪ ♪
196
00:08:59,275 --> 00:09:03,379
[all groaning]
197
00:09:03,482 --> 00:09:06,551
♪ ♪
198
00:09:06,586 --> 00:09:07,896
- [screams]
199
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,482
♪ ♪
200
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:15,241
[screaming]
201
00:09:15,344 --> 00:09:19,000
- Oh, isn't it
dazzling, Doctor?
202
00:09:19,068 --> 00:09:22,965
[electricity crackling]
Oh. [laughing]
203
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,620
- Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
204
00:09:26,689 --> 00:09:28,551
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
205
00:09:28,586 --> 00:09:30,827
Pardon me, Lady Upturn.
206
00:09:30,896 --> 00:09:31,896
May I...?
207
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,034
- Of course, Dr. Fishberg.
208
00:09:35,103 --> 00:09:36,551
[electricity crackling]
209
00:09:36,586 --> 00:09:41,310
- Lady Upturn, there's
a jellyfish blocking your ears.
210
00:09:41,379 --> 00:09:43,068
- Oh, goodness!
211
00:09:43,172 --> 00:09:45,965
It must have gotten
stuck up there during my walk
212
00:09:46,034 --> 00:09:49,241
through Jellyfish Fields.
213
00:09:49,344 --> 00:09:51,068
[music continues]
214
00:09:51,137 --> 00:09:55,482
- Oh. Is that what
he really sounds like?
215
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:57,517
♪ ♪
216
00:09:57,586 --> 00:10:01,103
This music is terrible!
217
00:10:01,206 --> 00:10:02,793
- Indeed.
218
00:10:02,862 --> 00:10:05,241
The jellyfish's buzzing
must have altered the noise
219
00:10:05,344 --> 00:10:07,620
to be more pleasurable for you.
220
00:10:07,689 --> 00:10:09,000
- Oh!
221
00:10:09,068 --> 00:10:11,827
♪ ♪
222
00:10:11,896 --> 00:10:14,689
- [inhales deeply]
223
00:10:14,724 --> 00:10:16,379
- Stop that racket!
224
00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:18,000
Stop it!
225
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:20,206
- How dare you interrupt m--
226
00:10:20,241 --> 00:10:22,241
- I have a confession to make.
227
00:10:22,344 --> 00:10:23,689
[feedback whines]
228
00:10:23,758 --> 00:10:26,793
A jellyfish was
obstructing my ears,
229
00:10:26,862 --> 00:10:30,586
so I hadn't truly heard
this fraud's music.
230
00:10:30,655 --> 00:10:32,896
And now that I have,
231
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,620
I am offended!
232
00:10:35,689 --> 00:10:36,931
- Hey!
233
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,448
- To make up for this
abysmal performance,
234
00:10:40,551 --> 00:10:43,068
I would like to invite
you all back to my home
235
00:10:43,137 --> 00:10:45,275
to experience real music
236
00:10:45,379 --> 00:10:50,000
by my newest artiste,
Maestro Patrick Star.
237
00:10:50,068 --> 00:10:51,241
- What?
238
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:54,275
[cheers and applause]
239
00:10:56,896 --> 00:10:59,862
[musical flatulence]
240
00:10:59,896 --> 00:11:02,413
♪
241
00:11:02,482 --> 00:11:04,586
- [screams, laughs]
242
00:11:04,655 --> 00:11:06,586
- Yay!
243
00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,965
♪
244
00:11:09,034 --> 00:11:11,000
[laughter]
245
00:11:11,068 --> 00:11:14,482
♪ ♪
246
00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:17,137
- Huh? Uh...
247
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:19,344
[groans]
248
00:11:19,448 --> 00:11:22,620
[laid-back music]
249
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,103
Oh.
250
00:11:24,172 --> 00:11:26,586
- Whoo! Go, Squidward!
- Encore! Encore!
251
00:11:26,655 --> 00:11:28,310
- We want more!
- [whistles]
252
00:11:28,413 --> 00:11:30,896
- We want more!
- Do you really mean it?
253
00:11:30,965 --> 00:11:32,413
- Of course.
254
00:11:32,482 --> 00:11:34,517
We've got jellyfish.
255
00:11:34,586 --> 00:11:35,965
- Huh.
256
00:11:36,068 --> 00:11:37,655
I'll take what I can get.
257
00:11:37,758 --> 00:11:39,241
[off-key tune playing]
258
00:11:39,310 --> 00:11:41,137
- Yeah! Whoo!
- Whoo-hoo!
259
00:11:41,172 --> 00:11:42,862
- Come on, Squidward!
260
00:11:42,931 --> 00:11:45,931
[both cheering]
261
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,379
♪ ♪
262
00:11:50,413 --> 00:11:53,310
[haunting music]
263
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:59,413
♪ ♪
264
00:11:59,482 --> 00:12:01,724
- This just in:
New evidence that
265
00:12:01,793 --> 00:12:04,965
unidentified flying objects
have been secretly visiting
266
00:12:05,034 --> 00:12:06,896
Bikini Bottom for years.
267
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,103
General, what are the
chances that these photos
268
00:12:10,172 --> 00:12:12,000
and videos are just a hoax?
269
00:12:12,068 --> 00:12:16,620
- 99.99999%.
270
00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:18,379
- There you have it--
271
00:12:18,482 --> 00:12:23,241
conclusive proof that
there is a 0.00001% chance
272
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,931
UFOs are real.
273
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,689
- That means there could be
evidence of UFOs anywhere!
274
00:12:29,793 --> 00:12:33,517
- Let's go find some.
275
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,275
- Here, alien.
276
00:12:35,344 --> 00:12:37,310
- Alien! Alien!
277
00:12:37,379 --> 00:12:39,344
[upbeat music]
278
00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:40,965
- Hmm.
- Huh?
279
00:12:41,034 --> 00:12:43,896
[mumbling]
280
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,448
- Uh, huh?
281
00:12:45,517 --> 00:12:46,931
[Patrick laughing]
282
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,655
- [groans] Huh?
283
00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:50,034
[shouts]
284
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,689
[giggling]
285
00:12:53,793 --> 00:12:55,896
- It's the middle of the night!
286
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,413
What are you two idiots doing?
287
00:12:58,482 --> 00:13:01,620
- We found an
alien crop circle!
288
00:13:01,724 --> 00:13:03,931
- It's only a crop circle
because you're
289
00:13:03,965 --> 00:13:06,655
stomping on my begonias!
290
00:13:06,724 --> 00:13:07,965
- Huh?
291
00:13:08,068 --> 00:13:08,931
- Okay.
292
00:13:09,034 --> 00:13:10,620
Yeah, that is us.
293
00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:13,551
- We're hunting space
aliens and UFOs.
294
00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:17,758
- Space aliens and UFOs
do not exist.
295
00:13:17,827 --> 00:13:20,000
Go to sleep!
296
00:13:22,586 --> 00:13:26,275
[laughter]
297
00:13:26,379 --> 00:13:29,551
- [grumbling]
298
00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:31,310
Okay.
299
00:13:31,379 --> 00:13:33,620
You want to see space aliens?
300
00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:36,344
I'll show you space aliens.
301
00:13:36,413 --> 00:13:38,137
[eerie music]
302
00:13:38,206 --> 00:13:40,793
- This could
definitely be a UFO.
303
00:13:40,896 --> 00:13:43,034
♪ ♪
304
00:13:43,103 --> 00:13:44,241
- [exclaims]
305
00:13:44,344 --> 00:13:46,551
A real UFO!
306
00:13:46,586 --> 00:13:48,000
both: First contact!
307
00:13:48,068 --> 00:13:49,310
First contact!
308
00:13:49,379 --> 00:13:50,965
First contact!
- [laughs]
309
00:13:51,034 --> 00:13:53,413
[eerie music]
310
00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:55,586
both: Whoa!
311
00:13:55,689 --> 00:13:57,034
- Intergalactic.
312
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:58,620
- Spacey.
313
00:13:58,724 --> 00:14:00,310
- Cosmic.
314
00:14:01,827 --> 00:14:03,724
[grunting]
315
00:14:03,793 --> 00:14:07,482
♪ ♪
316
00:14:07,517 --> 00:14:11,862
- We just got hit
by a flying saucer!
317
00:14:11,931 --> 00:14:13,413
- Yeah!
- Yeah! Cool!
318
00:14:13,482 --> 00:14:14,827
- Cool! Yeah!
319
00:14:14,862 --> 00:14:17,172
- [in monotone voice]
Greetings, earthlings.
320
00:14:17,241 --> 00:14:20,068
- A r-r-real space alien.
321
00:14:20,137 --> 00:14:21,931
Greetings, sir.
322
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,379
- [laughs]
323
00:14:23,482 --> 00:14:25,896
It's me, you tinfoil twits.
324
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,655
It was all me.
325
00:14:27,724 --> 00:14:31,206
Space aliens don't exist.
326
00:14:31,275 --> 00:14:32,724
Got it?
327
00:14:32,793 --> 00:14:34,275
- Thank you, Squidward.
328
00:14:34,344 --> 00:14:38,068
We can see now how
silly we really were.
329
00:14:38,137 --> 00:14:39,310
I know.
330
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,241
Let's play superheroes instead.
331
00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:42,448
- Yeah!
332
00:14:42,517 --> 00:14:45,413
At least we know they're real.
333
00:14:45,482 --> 00:14:47,344
[laughing]
334
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,344
- Idiots.
335
00:14:51,482 --> 00:14:53,724
[eerie music]
336
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:56,344
[ship whirring]
337
00:14:56,448 --> 00:14:58,896
[beeping]
338
00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:02,793
♪ ♪
339
00:15:02,862 --> 00:15:07,862
- At last, evidence of our
ancient aquatic ancestors.
340
00:15:07,931 --> 00:15:10,241
- We must take the artifact
back to the ship.
341
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,413
We'll be rich.
342
00:15:11,517 --> 00:15:12,551
Rich, I say.
343
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:13,896
[laughing]
344
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,896
- I told you two,
space aliens don't exist.
345
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,965
Go away!
346
00:15:20,034 --> 00:15:21,586
- Oh, no.
347
00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:25,034
The artifact is infested
with a parasite.
348
00:15:25,068 --> 00:15:28,172
- We must eradicate it
before our departure.
349
00:15:28,241 --> 00:15:32,379
- I'm telling you,
it's always something.
350
00:15:32,413 --> 00:15:35,344
[snoring softly]
351
00:15:35,413 --> 00:15:38,275
[tense music]
352
00:15:38,344 --> 00:15:39,551
♪ ♪
353
00:15:39,586 --> 00:15:41,862
[can rattling]
354
00:15:41,931 --> 00:15:43,068
- Huh?
355
00:15:43,172 --> 00:15:44,517
Who--who's there?
356
00:15:44,586 --> 00:15:46,103
Ahh!
357
00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:48,310
[screaming]
358
00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:51,517
- Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
359
00:15:51,586 --> 00:15:54,241
[exhaling]
[sizzling]
360
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:57,241
- [whimpering]
361
00:15:57,344 --> 00:16:02,655
♪ ♪
362
00:16:02,758 --> 00:16:04,413
- [laughs]
363
00:16:04,482 --> 00:16:05,862
[growls]
364
00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:07,103
- Ah-ha!
365
00:16:07,172 --> 00:16:08,344
[dryer whirring]
366
00:16:08,448 --> 00:16:09,655
- [screams]
- [groaning]
367
00:16:09,758 --> 00:16:10,689
- My holes!
368
00:16:10,758 --> 00:16:11,689
My holes!
369
00:16:11,758 --> 00:16:13,379
Oh, my holes!
370
00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:15,517
[both groaning]
371
00:16:17,241 --> 00:16:19,931
- Thank Neptune
I have my readers.
372
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,862
[eerie music]
373
00:16:22,931 --> 00:16:24,517
♪ ♪
374
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:27,172
Have SpongeBob and Patrick
gone cuckoo?
375
00:16:27,241 --> 00:16:28,896
[growls]
376
00:16:30,068 --> 00:16:31,827
You!
377
00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:34,965
[shouts]
378
00:16:35,068 --> 00:16:36,620
[growls]
379
00:16:36,689 --> 00:16:39,793
SpongeBob and Patrick,
take off those stupid masks!
380
00:16:39,827 --> 00:16:42,931
I know it's you.
381
00:16:42,965 --> 00:16:44,379
- Stop it.
382
00:16:44,448 --> 00:16:45,724
You're hurting me.
383
00:16:45,793 --> 00:16:47,344
- Mayday!
Mayday!
384
00:16:47,413 --> 00:16:48,655
We need backup.
385
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,551
- [groaning]
386
00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:51,965
[glass breaking]
387
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,586
- [laughing]
388
00:16:54,655 --> 00:16:57,413
- Will you two
shut up in there?
389
00:16:57,482 --> 00:17:00,862
I'm trying to get your heads--
390
00:17:00,965 --> 00:17:01,931
off?
391
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,655
♪ ♪
392
00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:06,206
Those nimrods were right.
393
00:17:06,241 --> 00:17:08,137
Aliens are real!
394
00:17:08,206 --> 00:17:10,034
[screams]
395
00:17:10,103 --> 00:17:11,862
[whimpering]
396
00:17:11,896 --> 00:17:13,758
SpongeBob, let me in!
397
00:17:13,827 --> 00:17:15,103
You were right!
398
00:17:15,172 --> 00:17:18,206
Tell Patrick you were right!
399
00:17:18,275 --> 00:17:19,862
- Success.
400
00:17:19,931 --> 00:17:22,310
The vermin has evacuated.
401
00:17:22,379 --> 00:17:24,448
- Let's take the artifact
to our ship
402
00:17:24,517 --> 00:17:27,689
before that horrible stinkbug
comes back.
403
00:17:27,724 --> 00:17:30,379
[ship beeping]
404
00:17:30,448 --> 00:17:33,379
[eerie music]
405
00:17:33,482 --> 00:17:35,551
♪ ♪
406
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:37,379
[whirring]
407
00:17:37,482 --> 00:17:39,137
- [whimpers]
408
00:17:39,206 --> 00:17:41,896
♪ ♪
409
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,448
[rumbling]
410
00:17:43,517 --> 00:17:45,206
- No! Wait! Wait!
411
00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:47,068
Wait, wait, wait!
412
00:17:48,551 --> 00:17:50,103
[whimpering]
413
00:17:50,172 --> 00:17:53,103
[dramatic music]
414
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:56,103
♪ ♪
415
00:17:56,172 --> 00:17:57,172
[gasps]
416
00:17:57,206 --> 00:17:58,241
[grunts]
417
00:17:59,448 --> 00:18:01,379
Hmm.
418
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:05,137
- So I says, I'll show
youa tractor beam.
419
00:18:05,241 --> 00:18:07,827
[laughter]
420
00:18:09,275 --> 00:18:11,931
- All right,
who's in charge here?
421
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:14,413
I want to speak to the manager.
422
00:18:14,482 --> 00:18:15,827
- Manager?
423
00:18:15,896 --> 00:18:17,137
- [sighs]
424
00:18:17,206 --> 00:18:20,034
[in monotone voice]
Take me to your leader.
425
00:18:20,103 --> 00:18:22,551
- That would be our supervisor.
426
00:18:22,620 --> 00:18:24,241
His office is down this hall.
427
00:18:24,275 --> 00:18:25,862
You just make a left
then a right.
428
00:18:25,931 --> 00:18:27,034
- Don't talk to him.
429
00:18:27,103 --> 00:18:29,379
He is the vermin we eradicated.
430
00:18:29,448 --> 00:18:33,241
- Looks like somebody
failed eradication class.
431
00:18:33,310 --> 00:18:36,172
[laughter]
432
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:37,241
- Zip it.
433
00:18:37,275 --> 00:18:38,793
I outrank you both.
434
00:18:38,896 --> 00:18:42,275
- I want you to put my home
back where you found it.
435
00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:43,965
- Could you step forward?
436
00:18:44,068 --> 00:18:45,620
I'm hard of hearing.
437
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:46,689
- Sure.
438
00:18:46,758 --> 00:18:48,241
And another thing.
439
00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:50,655
What's the big idea
of coming to my planet
440
00:18:50,724 --> 00:18:53,344
and taking my house
out of my yard
441
00:18:53,413 --> 00:18:55,724
just because it looked
like your stupid head?
442
00:18:55,793 --> 00:18:57,344
[squelching]
443
00:18:57,413 --> 00:18:59,862
[muffled shouting]
444
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:02,827
- Talking vermin are
the worst kind.
445
00:19:02,862 --> 00:19:04,172
Am I right?
446
00:19:04,206 --> 00:19:05,827
- Just so it's not
a total loss,
447
00:19:05,896 --> 00:19:10,655
I say we run some tests
and do a probe.
448
00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:13,344
- Hooray!
We're doing a probe!
449
00:19:13,379 --> 00:19:15,586
all: Probe! Probe! Probe!
450
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,344
Probe! Probe! Probe!
451
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:19,000
Probe! Probe!
- Probe?
452
00:19:19,103 --> 00:19:21,000
- Probe! Probe! Probe!
453
00:19:21,103 --> 00:19:22,172
Probe! Probe!
454
00:19:22,275 --> 00:19:24,103
[ominous music]
455
00:19:24,172 --> 00:19:25,103
[squelching]
456
00:19:25,172 --> 00:19:26,275
- [grunts]
457
00:19:26,344 --> 00:19:28,172
[mechanical clank]
458
00:19:28,275 --> 00:19:30,206
[mechanical whir]
459
00:19:30,275 --> 00:19:31,655
- X-ray.
460
00:19:32,965 --> 00:19:34,965
Despite the large cranium,
461
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,068
the brain seems
below average size.
462
00:19:37,137 --> 00:19:38,310
- Hey!
463
00:19:38,379 --> 00:19:40,172
[heart thumping]
464
00:19:40,206 --> 00:19:41,827
- High blood pressure.
465
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:45,000
Better watch that temper.
466
00:19:45,068 --> 00:19:47,000
Rotate neck.
467
00:19:48,482 --> 00:19:51,068
[cranking]
468
00:19:51,137 --> 00:19:53,965
♪ ♪
469
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,758
Nose hose.
470
00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:57,448
- [grunts]
471
00:19:57,517 --> 00:19:59,931
[air whooshing]
472
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:04,275
♪ ♪
473
00:20:04,344 --> 00:20:06,827
Impressive storage space.
474
00:20:06,862 --> 00:20:09,206
Now for the fun part.
475
00:20:09,310 --> 00:20:10,689
[whirring, clanking]
476
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,482
- [inhales]
477
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:13,793
- Ahh!
478
00:20:13,827 --> 00:20:15,241
[grunting]
479
00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:16,689
[beeps]
480
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,448
- Freedom!
481
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,862
- [horn blasts]
482
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,000
all: Hut. Hut. Hut. Hut. Hut.
483
00:20:25,034 --> 00:20:26,655
Hut. Hut. Hut. Hut. Hut.
484
00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:28,862
- [whimpering]
485
00:20:28,965 --> 00:20:30,862
[whirring]
486
00:20:30,965 --> 00:20:33,379
[panting]
487
00:20:33,448 --> 00:20:34,620
Huh?
488
00:20:34,689 --> 00:20:37,551
[eerie music]
489
00:20:37,620 --> 00:20:44,137
♪ ♪
490
00:20:47,827 --> 00:20:49,137
[heartbeat thumping]
491
00:20:49,241 --> 00:20:51,172
- Daddy.
492
00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:52,517
- [screams]
493
00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:55,862
[whimpering]
494
00:20:55,965 --> 00:20:57,344
Huh?
495
00:21:07,413 --> 00:21:10,206
[dramatic music]
496
00:21:10,275 --> 00:21:12,724
[shouting]
497
00:21:12,758 --> 00:21:14,931
♪
498
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,586
[whirring]
499
00:21:16,689 --> 00:21:17,689
No!
500
00:21:17,758 --> 00:21:19,413
Please don't probe me!
501
00:21:19,448 --> 00:21:22,034
[whirring, clanking]
502
00:21:22,103 --> 00:21:25,758
♪ ♪
503
00:21:25,862 --> 00:21:27,068
Huh?
504
00:21:27,137 --> 00:21:30,034
[quirky music]
505
00:21:30,103 --> 00:21:33,310
♪ ♪
506
00:21:33,413 --> 00:21:35,655
- In this probe,
I will be asking you
507
00:21:35,758 --> 00:21:38,931
embarrassing questions
about your childhood.
508
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:43,517
- Well, I guess I did have
trouble making friends.
509
00:21:47,241 --> 00:21:50,103
- Then when I was three,
I said, "Mumsy, I told you,
510
00:21:50,206 --> 00:21:51,931
I don't like kelp juice."
511
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,448
And she said, "Well, I don't
like being called Mumsy."
512
00:21:54,551 --> 00:21:57,103
And then--
all: Enough!
513
00:22:00,827 --> 00:22:02,448
[whirs]
[thuds]
514
00:22:02,517 --> 00:22:05,482
[upbeat music]
515
00:22:05,551 --> 00:22:07,448
- Good riddance, vermin.
516
00:22:07,517 --> 00:22:10,206
Keep your dumb, old artifact.
517
00:22:10,310 --> 00:22:13,206
- And you can keep your
mother stories too.
518
00:22:13,275 --> 00:22:14,586
Oy vey!
519
00:22:14,655 --> 00:22:16,620
♪ ♪
520
00:22:16,689 --> 00:22:18,827
- Squidward, if I
didn't know better,
521
00:22:18,862 --> 00:22:21,965
I'd be thinking that was
a real alien spaceship.
522
00:22:22,034 --> 00:22:24,586
- But we do know better,
huh, Squidward?
523
00:22:24,655 --> 00:22:26,482
- I was wrong, okay?
524
00:22:26,551 --> 00:22:28,310
Aliens are real!
525
00:22:28,379 --> 00:22:31,137
I was on their ship, and I was
telling them about my mother,
526
00:22:31,172 --> 00:22:32,551
and--and--and--and--
527
00:22:32,620 --> 00:22:34,172
- We get it, Squidward.
528
00:22:34,206 --> 00:22:36,862
- Aliens don't exist!
529
00:22:36,931 --> 00:22:38,310
- But they do exist.
530
00:22:38,413 --> 00:22:39,586
[grunts]
531
00:22:39,655 --> 00:22:41,896
[sighs] Of course.
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