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1
00:00:08,896 --> 00:00:09,896
Are you ready, kids?
2
00:00:10,689 --> 00:00:11,689
KIDS:
Aye, aye, Captain.
3
00:00:12,724 --> 00:00:13,724
I can't hear you.
4
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:15,482
Aye, aye, Captain!
5
00:00:15,896 --> 00:00:16,896
♪ Ooh!
6
00:00:19,034 --> 00:00:20,714
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪
7
00:00:20,931 --> 00:00:21,971
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
8
00:00:23,034 --> 00:00:24,634
♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪
9
00:00:24,896 --> 00:00:25,936
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
10
00:00:27,034 --> 00:00:28,834
♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪
11
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:29,936
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
12
00:00:30,758 --> 00:00:32,558
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪
13
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,320
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪ Ready?
14
00:00:34,896 --> 00:00:35,896
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!
15
00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:37,862
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!
16
00:00:39,034 --> 00:00:40,034
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!
17
00:00:40,793 --> 00:00:41,793
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!
18
00:00:44,551 --> 00:00:45,551
[hearty laughter]
19
00:00:46,517 --> 00:00:47,517
[piccolo playing]
20
00:00:49,172 --> 00:00:50,693
[ocean waves lapping,
seagulls crying]
21
00:01:04,448 --> 00:01:05,968
So, I was all ready
to drain the fries,
22
00:01:07,206 --> 00:01:09,046
but I cooked the fries
slightly too long. So...
23
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:13,096
SpongeBob... So here's where the
bizarre twist comes in.
24
00:01:13,172 --> 00:01:14,892
SpongeBob... They weren't overcooked
at all!
25
00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:16,379
SpongeBob! Look!
26
00:01:18,310 --> 00:01:19,310
SPONGEBOB:
Wow!
27
00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:21,143
What happened to
the Krusty Krab?
28
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,000
MR. KRABS:
Good morning!
29
00:01:23,758 --> 00:01:25,438
The Krusty Towers
is now open for business.
30
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,440
Why did you build a hotel,
Mr. Krabs?
31
00:01:28,724 --> 00:01:29,724
I'm glad you asked, son.
32
00:01:30,620 --> 00:01:32,286
Remember when I went to
that fast food convention
33
00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:33,550
and stayed in that fancy hotel?
34
00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:35,620
I had a beautiful room.
35
00:01:36,655 --> 00:01:37,895
The employees were so friendly.
36
00:01:40,482 --> 00:01:41,682
They catered to me every whim,
37
00:01:42,379 --> 00:01:43,619
no matter how demeaning it was,
38
00:01:44,655 --> 00:01:45,815
because they lived by a code.
39
00:01:47,034 --> 00:01:48,554
And that code was engraved
in fine gold
40
00:01:49,241 --> 00:01:50,281
above the grand fireplace.
41
00:01:56,827 --> 00:01:57,827
Everything was perfect.
42
00:01:59,413 --> 00:02:00,413
Until I got the bill!
43
00:02:01,551 --> 00:02:02,791
They charged me for everything.
44
00:02:03,172 --> 00:02:04,172
$25.00 for a hamburger.
45
00:02:06,379 --> 00:02:07,379
[horn toots]
46
00:02:10,310 --> 00:02:12,230
If they could charge
that much for
a lousy burger,
47
00:02:12,586 --> 00:02:14,786
imagine how much
I could charge for
a lousy Krabby Patty.
48
00:02:15,689 --> 00:02:16,689
And thus,
49
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,217
the Krusty Towers was born.
50
00:02:19,758 --> 00:02:21,718
Why would anyone stay at a hotel
in Bikini Bottom?
51
00:02:22,689 --> 00:02:24,129
It's in the middle
of scenic nowhere.
52
00:02:25,172 --> 00:02:27,092
There's nothing to do
but get stung by jellyfish.
53
00:02:27,551 --> 00:02:28,551
[groaning]
54
00:02:28,724 --> 00:02:29,724
See? Eww.
55
00:02:30,413 --> 00:02:31,413
Come inside.
56
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:34,620
Isn't it beautiful?
57
00:02:35,310 --> 00:02:36,790
Where are all the new
hotel employees?
58
00:02:42,655 --> 00:02:43,655
Me first hotel guest.
59
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,000
Watch me reel him in.
60
00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:49,470
Welcome to the Krusty Towers,
61
00:02:50,172 --> 00:02:51,172
where our motto is,
62
00:02:51,517 --> 00:02:52,637
"We shall never deny a guest
63
00:02:53,068 --> 00:02:54,388
even the most ridiculous
request."
64
00:02:55,172 --> 00:02:56,172
Oh, that's great.
65
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:57,751
I'd like a double Krabby Patty
66
00:02:58,137 --> 00:02:59,417
with no onions
and extra pickles.
67
00:02:59,689 --> 00:03:00,769
If you want a Krabby Patty,
68
00:03:01,586 --> 00:03:03,148
you have to rent a room,
and order room service.
69
00:03:03,172 --> 00:03:04,612
Ooh, I've only got
an hour for lunch.
70
00:03:05,758 --> 00:03:07,278
Boy, you reeled
that one in like a pro.
71
00:03:08,551 --> 00:03:09,551
Okay, Squidward,
72
00:03:10,413 --> 00:03:11,413
you run the front desk.
73
00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:14,038
I'd like a Krabby Patty, please.
74
00:03:15,206 --> 00:03:16,206
This is a hotel now.
75
00:03:17,068 --> 00:03:18,148
If you want a Krabby Patty,
76
00:03:19,172 --> 00:03:21,092
you'll have to get
a room, and order
room service.
77
00:03:21,275 --> 00:03:22,675
Okay.
One Krabby Patty and one room.
78
00:03:23,724 --> 00:03:24,724
With cheese.
79
00:03:25,551 --> 00:03:27,182
Oh, and can I get cheese
on the Krabby Patty, too?
80
00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:28,206
Patrick,
81
00:03:28,655 --> 00:03:29,815
you only live 400 yards away.
82
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,824
Why do you want
to check into a hotel?
83
00:03:32,206 --> 00:03:34,006
Sometimes I just need to get
away from it all.
84
00:03:36,310 --> 00:03:37,550
Wow, this hotel has everything.
85
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:38,620
Give me that.
86
00:03:39,034 --> 00:03:40,034
Now sign the register.
87
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:41,769
I didn't know
there would be a test.
88
00:03:41,793 --> 00:03:42,793
I didn't study!
89
00:03:43,655 --> 00:03:45,495
Patrick, all you have
to do is write your name.
90
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,000
Oh, okay.
91
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:50,896
Do you mind?
92
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,275
Don't look.
93
00:03:56,275 --> 00:03:57,275
Um...
94
00:03:57,724 --> 00:03:58,724
Done.
95
00:04:00,931 --> 00:04:01,931
Close enough.
96
00:04:02,344 --> 00:04:03,344
Here's your room key.
97
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,280
I'll need some help
with my bags.
98
00:04:06,137 --> 00:04:07,137
How can you have bags?
99
00:04:07,793 --> 00:04:08,941
You just found out
this is a hotel.
100
00:04:08,965 --> 00:04:09,965
This is a hotel?
101
00:04:10,275 --> 00:04:11,275
D-oh!
SpongeBob?
102
00:04:12,344 --> 00:04:13,344
Yes, Squidward.
103
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,480
Take Patrick and his bags
to his room.
104
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,080
What about my Krabby Patty?
105
00:04:17,551 --> 00:04:18,712
And bring him a Krabby Patty.
106
00:04:20,103 --> 00:04:22,223
Squidward, you can take
Patrick's bags up to his room.
107
00:04:23,344 --> 00:04:24,905
SpongeBob, you go make
the Krabby Patty.
108
00:04:25,448 --> 00:04:26,448
Oh, Mr. Krabs.
109
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,034
What's the matter?
110
00:04:28,586 --> 00:04:29,866
Afraid of a little manual labor?
111
00:04:30,448 --> 00:04:32,369
"I'm Squidward, and I have
to work for a living."
112
00:04:33,724 --> 00:04:34,724
Boo-hoo-hoo.
113
00:04:35,206 --> 00:04:36,206
Fine.
114
00:04:36,586 --> 00:04:37,586
Let's go, Patrick.
115
00:04:37,965 --> 00:04:38,965
[groaning]
116
00:04:42,620 --> 00:04:43,900
This elevator is
for guests only.
117
00:04:45,413 --> 00:04:46,493
Take the employee elevator.
118
00:04:47,103 --> 00:04:48,103
[squeaking]
119
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,000
[bell rings]
120
00:04:55,931 --> 00:04:56,931
[angry muttering]
121
00:04:57,551 --> 00:04:58,551
[bell rings]
122
00:05:01,448 --> 00:05:02,529
What's in
these bags? Rocks?
123
00:05:04,344 --> 00:05:05,344
Hey, these are rocks!
124
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,291
Why is your suitcase
full of rocks?
125
00:05:07,827 --> 00:05:09,347
I don't tell you
how to live your life!
126
00:05:10,586 --> 00:05:11,586
Well, here's your room.
127
00:05:12,206 --> 00:05:13,206
Wow.
128
00:05:13,310 --> 00:05:14,310
Enjoy your stay.
129
00:05:15,344 --> 00:05:16,344
Squidward, wait.
130
00:05:18,344 --> 00:05:19,344
Keep up the good work,
131
00:05:20,137 --> 00:05:21,857
and there will be more
where that came from.
132
00:05:22,551 --> 00:05:23,551
Your Krabby Patty, sir.
133
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,040
Hey, Squidward, cool rock.
134
00:05:27,517 --> 00:05:28,637
Hold on a second, SpongeBob.
135
00:05:29,310 --> 00:05:30,350
Here you are, my good man.
136
00:05:32,172 --> 00:05:33,172
Thank you, Patrick.
137
00:05:34,172 --> 00:05:36,413
There's plenty more where that
came from, my good friend.
138
00:05:36,896 --> 00:05:37,896
[grumbling]
139
00:05:38,241 --> 00:05:39,241
Squidward! What now?
140
00:05:39,931 --> 00:05:41,291
I don't like crusts
on my sandwich.
141
00:05:42,448 --> 00:05:43,448
It's a bun.
142
00:05:43,655 --> 00:05:44,655
It's all crust.
143
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:46,665
How am I supposed to cut
the crust off a bun?
144
00:05:46,689 --> 00:05:47,689
Peel it.
145
00:05:52,034 --> 00:05:53,034
Happy? Yay!
146
00:05:53,965 --> 00:05:54,965
SPONGEBOB:
Room service.
147
00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:57,217
Here's the 50 Krabby Patties
you ordered.
148
00:05:57,241 --> 00:05:58,602
Could you do
one more thing for me?
149
00:05:59,758 --> 00:06:00,878
Why don't you ask SpongeBob?
150
00:06:01,793 --> 00:06:02,793
Good idea, Squidward.
151
00:06:03,034 --> 00:06:04,034
How may I serve you, sir?
152
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,665
I need you to eat these
Krabby Patties with me.
153
00:06:06,689 --> 00:06:07,689
Oh, yes, sir.
154
00:06:10,931 --> 00:06:11,931
[bell rings]
155
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:13,206
Uh-huh. Hold on.
156
00:06:13,862 --> 00:06:15,222
Squidward! Patrick
needs your help.
157
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:16,316
What?!
Why didn't he ask me
158
00:06:16,965 --> 00:06:18,485
before I walked all the way
downstairs?
159
00:06:18,655 --> 00:06:20,096
He said he didn't
want to bother you.
160
00:06:20,689 --> 00:06:21,689
But he got over it.
161
00:06:25,931 --> 00:06:26,931
Hooray!
162
00:06:27,172 --> 00:06:28,172
Thanks, Squidward.
163
00:06:30,137 --> 00:06:31,137
[toilet flushes]
164
00:06:31,655 --> 00:06:32,816
Mr. Krabs,
this is ridiculous.
165
00:06:34,137 --> 00:06:35,697
Patrick's being completely
unreasonable.
166
00:06:36,655 --> 00:06:38,136
He can be as unreasonable
as he wants.
167
00:06:39,862 --> 00:06:41,182
The plaque, Squidward!
The plaque!
168
00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:42,482
But Mr. Krabs...
169
00:06:42,827 --> 00:06:43,827
Deny no guest!
170
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,172
[phone rings]
171
00:06:46,413 --> 00:06:47,413
Well, hello, Patrick.
172
00:06:48,137 --> 00:06:49,737
You need Squidward
to come up right away?
173
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,000
He'll be right there.
174
00:06:53,517 --> 00:06:54,517
A bubble bath?
175
00:06:55,068 --> 00:06:56,428
Why would I give you
a bubble bath?
176
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,071
Well, because Mr. Krabs
said you would.
177
00:07:00,655 --> 00:07:02,296
Be sure to make my back
extra shiny clean.
178
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,000
That's it!
179
00:07:05,206 --> 00:07:06,206
I've had enough!
180
00:07:06,758 --> 00:07:07,758
Squidward, wait!
181
00:07:08,103 --> 00:07:09,264
The toilet's backed up again!
182
00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:11,382
Hey, hey, you can't
take that elevator.
183
00:07:12,586 --> 00:07:13,586
You're an employee.
184
00:07:13,896 --> 00:07:14,896
Not anymore.
185
00:07:15,413 --> 00:07:16,413
I quit.
186
00:07:16,862 --> 00:07:17,862
Quit?
187
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,000
You can't quit.
188
00:07:24,034 --> 00:07:25,194
Welcome to the Krusty Towers.
189
00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:26,344
Squidward?!
190
00:07:26,965 --> 00:07:28,325
One room, please,
on the top floor.
191
00:07:29,896 --> 00:07:30,976
What do you think you're doing?
192
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,000
I need a vacation.
193
00:07:32,172 --> 00:07:33,172
I'm overworked.
194
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,960
And what better place to relax
than Krusty Towers,
195
00:07:37,965 --> 00:07:39,245
where we shall never deny
a guest
196
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,280
even the most ridiculous
request.
197
00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:43,900
I don't have to rent you a room.
198
00:07:45,586 --> 00:07:46,586
I got cash.
199
00:07:47,448 --> 00:07:48,568
D-oh...
Here's your room key.
200
00:07:49,482 --> 00:07:50,962
SpongeBob, carry my things
to my room.
201
00:07:52,103 --> 00:07:53,103
Aye, aye, guest sir.
202
00:07:56,034 --> 00:07:57,034
[crashes]
203
00:07:57,586 --> 00:07:58,866
And you can carry me to my room.
204
00:08:01,034 --> 00:08:02,474
And why in tarnation
would I do that?
205
00:08:03,413 --> 00:08:04,974
You've got four legs
that aren't broken.
206
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:06,586
The plaque.
207
00:08:08,482 --> 00:08:09,962
Too bad we couldn't take
the elevator,
208
00:08:11,137 --> 00:08:13,138
but it is for guests only,
and you are an employee.
209
00:08:15,241 --> 00:08:16,241
Your room, sir.
210
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,291
And I'd like to order
room service.
211
00:08:18,896 --> 00:08:21,016
I'd like a Krabby Patty
with cheese, toenail clippings
212
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:23,068
and nose hairs.
213
00:08:23,206 --> 00:08:24,206
[squeals]
214
00:08:24,551 --> 00:08:25,671
You've got to be kidding me!
215
00:08:26,137 --> 00:08:27,148
And I want it here
in five seconds.
216
00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:28,172
Yes, sir.
217
00:08:28,344 --> 00:08:29,344
Here you are, sir.
218
00:08:30,413 --> 00:08:31,774
Well, you got
your stinky sandwich.
219
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,379
Now eat it.
220
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:35,131
Oh, I'm not going to eat this.
221
00:08:35,965 --> 00:08:36,965
You are.
222
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,000
What?!
223
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,631
You're out of your mind if you
think I'm going to eat that.
224
00:08:40,655 --> 00:08:42,135
Psst, that's not really
a Krabby Patty
225
00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:44,055
with cheese, toenails
and nose hair.
226
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,240
[chuckles]:
Now I get you, boy.
227
00:08:47,724 --> 00:08:48,724
All right, Squidward.
228
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,000
[laughter]
229
00:08:56,965 --> 00:08:58,085
SpongeBob! Sorry, Mr. Krabs.
230
00:08:58,379 --> 00:08:59,419
We were all out of cheese.
231
00:08:59,862 --> 00:09:00,862
Hooray!
232
00:09:01,310 --> 00:09:02,310
[phone ringing]
233
00:09:02,896 --> 00:09:03,896
What is it, Squidward?
234
00:09:04,862 --> 00:09:06,982
Send up a dozen cookies
just like mother used to make.
235
00:09:09,034 --> 00:09:10,194
Here's your homemade cookies.
236
00:09:12,758 --> 00:09:14,678
These don't taste anything
like mom used to make.
237
00:09:15,551 --> 00:09:16,911
Well, how did your mother
make 'em?
238
00:09:17,413 --> 00:09:18,413
How should I know?
239
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:19,758
Ask my mother.
240
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:24,896
[doorbell rings]
241
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000
Hello.
242
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:27,827
[gasps]
243
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,000
SpongeBob!
244
00:09:42,655 --> 00:09:43,655
No good, Mr. Krabs.
245
00:09:44,448 --> 00:09:45,448
Allow me, boys.
246
00:09:46,862 --> 00:09:47,862
Great.
247
00:09:48,551 --> 00:09:50,031
Now that me laundry
is in the trunk...
248
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:51,612
There's room for you
to sit up front.
249
00:09:51,827 --> 00:09:53,107
Let's go bake some cookies,
boys.
250
00:09:53,275 --> 00:09:54,275
Hooray!
251
00:09:54,655 --> 00:09:55,655
Well?
252
00:09:55,758 --> 00:09:56,758
I'm impressed.
253
00:09:57,482 --> 00:09:59,042
These are just like mother
used to make.
254
00:09:59,206 --> 00:10:00,526
I just wish mom
was a better cook.
255
00:10:00,724 --> 00:10:01,844
So you're all taken care of.
256
00:10:03,206 --> 00:10:04,406
Just one teensy, tiny problem.
257
00:10:06,034 --> 00:10:07,034
This room is hideous.
258
00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:08,310
Redesign it.
259
00:10:08,724 --> 00:10:09,769
Neptune the 14th would be nice.
260
00:10:09,793 --> 00:10:10,793
What?
261
00:10:11,241 --> 00:10:12,361
"We shall never deny a guest
262
00:10:12,827 --> 00:10:14,147
even the most
ridiculous request."
263
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:24,448
[screaming]
264
00:10:24,655 --> 00:10:25,655
Perfect!
265
00:10:26,448 --> 00:10:28,368
This room is exactly
the same as when we started!
266
00:10:29,586 --> 00:10:31,146
Nothing like getting
back to the basics.
267
00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:33,212
Let's get out of here,
SpongeBob.
268
00:10:33,344 --> 00:10:34,344
Oh, before you leave,
269
00:10:34,689 --> 00:10:35,689
I want to go swimming.
270
00:10:36,137 --> 00:10:37,137
The pool is out back.
271
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:38,764
[laughing]:
Are you crazy?
272
00:10:39,310 --> 00:10:40,510
I'm not going outside to swim.
273
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:42,517
Come on in.
274
00:10:43,103 --> 00:10:44,103
The water's fine.
275
00:10:47,655 --> 00:10:48,655
Anything else stupid
276
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,493
and unreasonable that you want?
277
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:51,517
Nope, that's it.
278
00:10:52,275 --> 00:10:53,995
You don't need me to chew
your food for you,
279
00:10:54,413 --> 00:10:56,333
or make you a back scratcher
out of my own spine?
280
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:58,562
Or maybe extinguish the sun
281
00:10:59,137 --> 00:11:00,537
so the light
don't get in your eyes?
282
00:11:01,275 --> 00:11:02,275
No, I'm good.
283
00:11:02,655 --> 00:11:02,793
Me, too.
284
00:11:03,655 --> 00:11:04,655
Wow!
285
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:06,620
An indoor pool.
286
00:11:07,172 --> 00:11:08,172
This place is fancy!
287
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:11,379
Cannonball!
288
00:11:13,896 --> 00:11:14,896
[laughing]
289
00:11:15,137 --> 00:11:16,137
[loud crash]
290
00:11:26,379 --> 00:11:27,379
MR. KRABS:
Oh!
291
00:11:28,103 --> 00:11:29,703
That hotel was a bad idea
from the start.
292
00:11:30,241 --> 00:11:31,241
That was a hotel?
293
00:11:31,965 --> 00:11:32,965
Your bill, sir.
294
00:11:33,482 --> 00:11:34,482
$15,000?
295
00:11:36,551 --> 00:11:38,471
You're not going to have
a heart attack, are you?
296
00:11:38,586 --> 00:11:39,586
Not at these prices.
297
00:11:40,344 --> 00:11:41,344
Forget hotels.
298
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,990
This hospital racket
is where the money is.
299
00:11:44,310 --> 00:11:45,310
This is a hospital?
300
00:11:45,724 --> 00:11:46,724
Pack your bags, boys.
301
00:11:47,413 --> 00:11:48,653
You're going to medical school.
302
00:11:49,931 --> 00:11:50,931
Hooray! Hooray!
303
00:11:51,172 --> 00:11:52,172
Oh, boy.
304
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,204
Good morning, Mrs. Puff.
I'm Mr. Fitz.
305
00:12:06,103 --> 00:12:08,183
I represent the Voting Teachers
Accreditation Bureau.
306
00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:11,446
As you know, your teaching
certificate is up for renewal.
307
00:12:12,551 --> 00:12:14,031
However,
we've noticed there have been
308
00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:16,901
an unusually large amount
of failings from this classroom.
309
00:12:18,448 --> 00:12:19,448
That's impossible.
310
00:12:19,793 --> 00:12:20,913
In all my years of teaching,
311
00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:23,060
only one student
has failed my class.
312
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,784
Yes, but he's failed
1,258,056 times.
313
00:12:28,517 --> 00:12:29,637
SPONGEBOB:
Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!
314
00:12:30,724 --> 00:12:31,724
You don't understand.
315
00:12:32,241 --> 00:12:33,361
SpongeBob is... unteachable.
316
00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:37,485
We cannotblame the students for
the incompetence of the teacher.
317
00:12:39,655 --> 00:12:40,895
SPONGEBOB:
Honk, honk!
Beep-beep!
318
00:12:41,034 --> 00:12:42,034
I'm ready to drive!
319
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:43,344
[horn honks]
320
00:12:44,482 --> 00:12:46,442
Are you ready for
my driving test
today, Mrs. Puff?
321
00:12:46,482 --> 00:12:48,282
Okay, Mrs. Puff,
if SpongeBob fails this test,
322
00:12:50,862 --> 00:12:51,862
you will be replaced.
323
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,841
Okay, SpongeBob,
let's demonstrate for Mr. Fitz
324
00:12:57,517 --> 00:12:59,277
everything I've taught you
in boating school.
325
00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:01,379
[chuckles]:
Now,
326
00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:04,321
what's the first thing we do
before we start boating?
327
00:13:04,758 --> 00:13:06,038
Oh! Seatbelt-a-rooni.
One second.
328
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,620
[grunting]
329
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,000
Then what do you do?
330
00:13:17,655 --> 00:13:18,655
Start the engine? Yes.
331
00:13:19,241 --> 00:13:20,241
[engine starts]
332
00:13:22,241 --> 00:13:23,561
What do I do now? Drive the boat.
333
00:13:31,896 --> 00:13:33,136
Did I pass this
time, Mrs. Puff?
334
00:13:34,034 --> 00:13:35,034
No, SpongeBob.
335
00:13:35,413 --> 00:13:36,413
You failed.
336
00:13:36,827 --> 00:13:37,827
I failed?
337
00:13:38,448 --> 00:13:39,968
It is not you that's
failed, SpongeBob.
338
00:13:40,931 --> 00:13:42,211
It's Mrs. Puff
that's failed you.
339
00:13:43,482 --> 00:13:45,082
You are relieved
of your teaching duties.
340
00:13:45,896 --> 00:13:47,376
I won't be teaching
SpongeBob anymore?
341
00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:49,310
[laughing]
342
00:13:51,172 --> 00:13:52,172
[laughing loudly]
343
00:13:53,827 --> 00:13:54,827
No more... SpongeBob?
344
00:13:56,655 --> 00:13:58,055
I thought this day
would never come.
345
00:13:58,448 --> 00:13:59,448
[continues laughing]
346
00:14:00,310 --> 00:14:01,310
Whoo-hoo!
347
00:14:01,689 --> 00:14:02,689
Good-bye, SpongeBob!
348
00:14:03,793 --> 00:14:04,793
Have a nice life.
349
00:14:05,965 --> 00:14:06,965
Free at last!
350
00:14:07,655 --> 00:14:08,655
Free at last!
351
00:14:14,655 --> 00:14:15,935
SPONGEBOB:
I got Mrs. Puff fired.
352
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,000
[booming footsteps]
353
00:14:21,655 --> 00:14:22,695
Hello, worthless students.
354
00:14:26,137 --> 00:14:27,137
I'm your new instructor.
355
00:14:28,689 --> 00:14:29,849
No one's ever failed my class
356
00:14:31,206 --> 00:14:32,206
that's lived through it.
357
00:14:33,448 --> 00:14:34,968
I can assure you,
these next four weeks
358
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:38,155
will be the worst years
of your miserable lives.
359
00:14:39,103 --> 00:14:40,103
Your spines will break.
360
00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:41,620
Your teeth will ache.
361
00:14:42,206 --> 00:14:43,326
Your eyes will be bloodshot.
362
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,000
[students whimpering]
363
00:14:46,241 --> 00:14:47,921
You will drive
out of this school in style,
364
00:14:49,137 --> 00:14:50,137
or you will be carted out
365
00:14:51,206 --> 00:14:52,326
in your granny's handbasket.
366
00:14:53,655 --> 00:14:55,375
Everyone will follow
the rules of the class.
367
00:14:56,068 --> 00:14:57,068
First rule: no talking.
368
00:14:58,862 --> 00:14:59,862
Does that mean...
369
00:15:01,931 --> 00:15:03,291
Second rule:
no eating in my class.
370
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:06,314
Would anyone care for a bon-bon?
371
00:15:09,413 --> 00:15:10,413
Uh, I'll eat one.
372
00:15:11,034 --> 00:15:12,034
[students gasp]
373
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:13,620
Pick your favorite.
374
00:15:18,103 --> 00:15:19,103
How's it taste?
375
00:15:20,103 --> 00:15:21,423
It's a delightful
taste sensation.
376
00:15:22,724 --> 00:15:23,764
No eating in my classroom!
377
00:15:26,103 --> 00:15:27,383
Now, if anyone else
is man enough
378
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,000
to stay in this class...
379
00:15:31,517 --> 00:15:32,917
Looks like you're
the man... Sponge.
380
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:34,724
I am?
381
00:15:35,793 --> 00:15:37,833
Do you want to learn
how to drive or what? Yes, sir!
382
00:15:39,275 --> 00:15:40,275
I'm ready to drive!
383
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,136
What do you think you're doing?
384
00:15:42,586 --> 00:15:44,186
Ready for my test, sir. You're not ready
385
00:15:44,379 --> 00:15:46,019
to drive yet... until
you learn thatfirst.
386
00:15:48,137 --> 00:15:50,257
This is the most grueling
driving course ever devised.
387
00:15:51,758 --> 00:15:53,638
You will learn every turn,
bump and crack on it.
388
00:15:55,896 --> 00:15:57,056
You'll start out crawling it.
389
00:15:57,689 --> 00:15:58,689
Crawl?
390
00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:00,980
Hup two, hup two,
hup two, hup two!
391
00:16:02,482 --> 00:16:03,482
Left turn!
392
00:16:04,206 --> 00:16:05,206
Crack! Bump! Nickel!
393
00:16:05,586 --> 00:16:06,586
Hey, a nickel!
394
00:16:07,517 --> 00:16:09,157
Keep your eyes on the road,
cadet![gasps]
395
00:16:09,793 --> 00:16:10,793
SPONGEBOB:
Pebble!
396
00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:12,808
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa
whoa-whoa-whoa!
397
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,000
Ow...!
398
00:16:17,103 --> 00:16:18,103
Wow...!
399
00:16:19,275 --> 00:16:20,275
[screaming]
400
00:16:21,379 --> 00:16:22,379
Wow...!
401
00:16:24,586 --> 00:16:25,586
[screaming]
402
00:16:26,206 --> 00:16:27,206
Wow...!
403
00:16:28,034 --> 00:16:29,034
Aah...!
404
00:16:30,379 --> 00:16:31,379
[sighs]:
Whew!
405
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,074
I'm ashamed of you, cadet.
406
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:37,700
Tripped up by a wee pebble.
407
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,921
What are you supposed to
be learning in my class?
408
00:16:40,965 --> 00:16:41,965
How to drive, sir?
409
00:16:42,724 --> 00:16:44,404
Affirmative.
But before you learn to drive,
410
00:16:45,241 --> 00:16:46,241
you must learn to crawl.
411
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,080
And then you learn to walk,
412
00:16:48,896 --> 00:16:49,936
and then you learn to run.
413
00:16:50,896 --> 00:16:53,016
But before you learn to walk,
you must learn to crawl!
414
00:16:54,793 --> 00:16:55,793
I want you to crawl!
415
00:16:58,137 --> 00:16:59,137
Sir, yes, sir!
416
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:00,586
Now, get out there!
417
00:17:02,965 --> 00:17:03,965
[shoes screech]
418
00:17:08,103 --> 00:17:09,103
Hut! Hut!
419
00:17:11,034 --> 00:17:12,034
[shoes screech]
420
00:17:17,034 --> 00:17:19,354
Every good boater needs to know
his vehicle inside and out.
421
00:17:22,137 --> 00:17:23,298
Here. Go take
that boat apart.
422
00:17:25,103 --> 00:17:26,103
I'm impressed, son.
423
00:17:27,827 --> 00:17:28,907
Put it back together again!
424
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,280
[chuckles]:
Oh, that'll be easy.
425
00:17:32,034 --> 00:17:33,034
Are you sure?
426
00:17:33,103 --> 00:17:34,103
Um, yeah.
427
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,458
You just put the jing-a-mahoos
on the poo-hickey and, uh...
428
00:17:38,275 --> 00:17:39,555
I might need
a couple of minutes.
429
00:17:40,344 --> 00:17:41,464
[snoring]It's ready, Sarge!
430
00:17:43,517 --> 00:17:44,517
Jumping jellyfish!
431
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:52,862
[bell dings]
432
00:17:53,931 --> 00:17:54,931
[bell dings]
433
00:17:55,448 --> 00:17:56,888
Watch for pedestrians.
Check mirrors.
434
00:17:57,137 --> 00:17:58,137
Observe that speed limit.
435
00:17:59,862 --> 00:18:00,902
Watch for pedestri... ans!
436
00:18:02,655 --> 00:18:03,655
Whoa!
437
00:18:03,689 --> 00:18:04,689
Aah! Whoa!
438
00:18:05,724 --> 00:18:06,724
Oh! Oh! Oh!
439
00:18:07,482 --> 00:18:08,482
Wow! Oh! Oh!
440
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,000
So, um, how'd I do?
441
00:18:14,724 --> 00:18:15,724
How'd you do?
442
00:18:16,758 --> 00:18:18,278
Why don't you ask
the shattered remains
443
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:20,724
of this pedestrian
444
00:18:21,827 --> 00:18:22,827
how you did?!
445
00:18:24,551 --> 00:18:26,672
Now I know this course forward,
backward and sideways.
446
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:28,842
Am I ready to get
behind the wheel?
447
00:18:29,482 --> 00:18:30,482
Not quite.
448
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,000
Now do it blindfolded.
449
00:18:34,172 --> 00:18:35,172
[horn honks, loud crash]
450
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,000
1,003, 1,004, 1,005...
451
00:18:41,068 --> 00:18:42,068
Oh, pebble number 143.
452
00:18:43,827 --> 00:18:45,907
Ha! You will not trip me up
again, pebble number 143.
453
00:18:47,344 --> 00:18:48,344
1,006, 1,007, 1,008...
454
00:18:49,827 --> 00:18:50,987
Old lady with a ham sandwich.
455
00:18:51,551 --> 00:18:52,551
1,009,
456
00:18:53,068 --> 00:18:54,268
1,010, 1,011, 1,012, one th...
457
00:18:56,931 --> 00:18:57,931
Congratulations.
458
00:18:58,551 --> 00:18:59,992
You're ready to get
behind the wheel.
459
00:19:00,551 --> 00:19:01,551
Really? I'm ready!
460
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:03,275
I'm ready! I'm...
461
00:19:03,448 --> 00:19:04,448
[crash]
462
00:19:05,034 --> 00:19:06,434
Let's see what
I taught you, laddie.
463
00:19:07,344 --> 00:19:08,344
Yes, sir!
464
00:19:10,068 --> 00:19:11,308
Left turn at pebble number 143.
465
00:19:15,206 --> 00:19:16,607
SPONGEBOB:
Kid with a ball.
Nice boy.
466
00:19:17,655 --> 00:19:18,655
Nice driving.
467
00:19:19,275 --> 00:19:20,355
Now parallel park up ahead.
468
00:19:22,275 --> 00:19:23,275
Very good.
469
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,720
Now, boy, the time has come
to show Mr. Fitz
470
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:29,729
what you learned.
Yes, sir!
471
00:19:30,689 --> 00:19:31,689
Step one: seat belts!
472
00:19:33,068 --> 00:19:34,068
Excellent work, cadet.
473
00:19:34,517 --> 00:19:35,517
What's next?
474
00:19:36,103 --> 00:19:37,383
Step two would be:
ignite engine.
475
00:19:38,586 --> 00:19:39,586
Step three.
476
00:19:39,793 --> 00:19:40,793
Step three would be:
477
00:19:41,551 --> 00:19:42,551
engage blindfold!
478
00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:45,541
What? You can't drive a boat
with a blindfold on.
479
00:19:46,551 --> 00:19:47,551
That's illegal.
480
00:19:48,206 --> 00:19:49,687
But I can't do it
without a blindfold.
481
00:19:50,034 --> 00:19:51,034
Drive, boy! Drive!
482
00:19:58,172 --> 00:19:59,172
[explosion]
483
00:20:00,413 --> 00:20:01,413
Mayday! Mayday!
484
00:20:02,172 --> 00:20:03,172
You're off course!
485
00:20:06,655 --> 00:20:07,655
[crashing, banging]
486
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:14,620
[rumbling]
487
00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:20,827
[screaming]
488
00:20:23,068 --> 00:20:24,068
[screaming]
489
00:20:24,172 --> 00:20:25,172
Oh...
490
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:27,457
I feel so serene
now that I'm away
491
00:20:29,068 --> 00:20:30,548
from that homicidal maniac,
SpongeBob.
492
00:20:34,379 --> 00:20:35,379
[horn honks]
493
00:20:43,724 --> 00:20:44,724
The brake, son!
494
00:20:45,172 --> 00:20:46,172
Aye, aye, sir.
495
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,773
Here you go, sir...
All I had to do
496
00:20:49,689 --> 00:20:50,849
was unscrew two little bolts.
497
00:20:51,241 --> 00:20:52,401
I'm going to stop this thing!
498
00:20:53,862 --> 00:20:54,862
Tell my wife I love her!
499
00:21:00,137 --> 00:21:01,137
Come get some!
500
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,000
Man down! Man down!
501
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,720
[loud banging]Uh, sorry. Excuse me. Sorry.
502
00:21:09,482 --> 00:21:11,962
Hey, SpongeBob. Sorry, Patrick,
I can't stop to talk right now.
503
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,000
I can't see!
I can't see!
504
00:21:17,758 --> 00:21:18,758
My pants!
505
00:21:19,206 --> 00:21:20,206
Hey! I can't see.
506
00:21:26,137 --> 00:21:27,137
[screams]
507
00:21:29,448 --> 00:21:30,448
[screams]
508
00:21:33,931 --> 00:21:34,931
[screams]
509
00:21:38,310 --> 00:21:39,310
Did I pass?
510
00:21:40,241 --> 00:21:41,761
Well, if there was
a "destroy the city"
511
00:21:42,896 --> 00:21:44,176
part of the test, you wouldhave.
512
00:21:46,655 --> 00:21:47,655
The nerve of some people!
513
00:21:48,689 --> 00:21:50,050
Sorry, SpongeBob,
you failed again.
514
00:21:51,827 --> 00:21:53,667
Even our finest instructor
could not teach you.
515
00:21:54,965 --> 00:21:56,125
Mrs. Puff, you're
hired again.
516
00:22:02,068 --> 00:22:03,068
Hey, Mrs. Puff.
517
00:22:03,517 --> 00:22:04,517
Sorry I'm "unteachable."
518
00:22:05,482 --> 00:22:06,482
It's okay.
519
00:22:07,241 --> 00:22:09,041
Mr. Fitz gave me
my teaching certificate back.
520
00:22:10,103 --> 00:22:12,464
[sniffles]:
And your dossier was destroyed
in the explosion.
521
00:22:14,379 --> 00:22:15,619
So it's as if you never failed.
522
00:22:16,344 --> 00:22:18,025
I got you a "welcome back" gift,
Mrs. Puff.
523
00:22:18,275 --> 00:22:20,315
I found all the pieces and
glued them back together.
524
00:22:21,827 --> 00:22:23,827
I promise it won't
take me a million
tries thistime.
525
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,000
[sobbing]
34550
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