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Are you ready, kids?
2
00:00:10,068 --> 00:00:11,689
Aye, aye, Captain!
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I can't hear you.
4
00:00:13,068 --> 00:00:14,965
Aye, aye, Captain!
5
00:00:15,068 --> 00:00:18,068
♪ Ooh!
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00:00:18,172 --> 00:00:20,068
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪
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00:00:20,172 --> 00:00:22,068
♪ SpongeBob Squarepants! ♪
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00:00:22,172 --> 00:00:23,931
♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪
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00:00:24,034 --> 00:00:25,758
♪ SpongeBob
Squarepants! ♪
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00:00:25,862 --> 00:00:27,320
♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪
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00:00:27,344 --> 00:00:29,689
♪ SpongeBob Squarepants! ♪
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00:00:29,793 --> 00:00:31,965
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪
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00:00:32,068 --> 00:00:33,931
♪ SpongeBob Squarepants!♪Ready?
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00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,931
♪ SpongeBob Squarepants!
15
00:00:36,034 --> 00:00:38,206
♪ SpongeBob Squarepants!
16
00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:40,068
♪ SpongeBob Squarepants!
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00:00:40,172 --> 00:00:43,655
♪ SpongeBob Squarepants!
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00:00:50,862 --> 00:00:55,379
Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
19
00:00:55,482 --> 00:00:59,034
and NICKELODEON
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00:01:09,586 --> 00:01:11,448
Good morning, pineapple.
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Good morning, Gary.
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Good morning, world.
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I'm ready!
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00:01:20,137 --> 00:01:21,275
World?
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00:01:28,034 --> 00:01:29,172
Talk to me.
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00:01:29,275 --> 00:01:30,793
Package, sir.
27
00:01:31,965 --> 00:01:33,000
Ah-ha!
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I can't believe
it's finally here.
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00:01:35,448 --> 00:01:36,689
There you go.
30
00:01:36,793 --> 00:01:38,241
Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
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00:01:38,344 --> 00:01:41,586
Thank you, Mr...
Tennis Balls.
32
00:01:41,689 --> 00:01:43,517
That's "Tentacles."
33
00:01:44,931 --> 00:01:47,448
Squidward's last name
is "Tentacles"?
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Poor guy.
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00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,620
Hey, check out
Squidward's new snail.
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00:01:56,862 --> 00:01:58,724
Fancy.
37
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,724
So that's what came in the mail.
38
00:02:00,827 --> 00:02:03,448
Looks like Gary has
a new little playmate.
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00:02:03,551 --> 00:02:05,862
Dream on, SpongeBob.
40
00:02:05,965 --> 00:02:09,689
I wouldn't let Snellie here
play with that mongrel mutt.
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00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:11,862
She's a purebred.
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00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,931
Wow. A snail made
out of bread.
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00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:16,206
No.
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00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:18,241
Purebred means
she's of the highest pedigree.
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00:02:18,344 --> 00:02:19,586
See?
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She even has her own papers.
47
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So if you'll excuse us
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Snellie has to start
her training.
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00:02:26,344 --> 00:02:27,344
Training?
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00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:29,000
For Bikini Bottom's snail race.
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Snellie will be winning
this Sunday.
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00:02:31,655 --> 00:02:33,068
Sunday?
53
00:02:33,172 --> 00:02:35,448
Well, I guess I can't
enter Gary in that.
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00:02:35,551 --> 00:02:36,655
Sunday's laundry day.
55
00:02:36,758 --> 00:02:38,793
No, SpongeBob.
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00:02:38,896 --> 00:02:42,000
You can't enter Gary
because Gary's a mutt.
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00:02:44,586 --> 00:02:46,724
Boy, you got that right.
Gary's no...
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00:02:46,827 --> 00:02:48,448
Hey! What makes you
so sure
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00:02:48,551 --> 00:02:50,137
Gary couldn't win that race?
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00:02:50,241 --> 00:02:52,034
Papers.
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00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:57,379
Hmm, "Property of
Squidward Pimples."
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00:02:57,482 --> 00:03:00,034
That's Tennisball...
Uh, Tentacles!
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00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:01,689
Come on, Snellie.
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00:03:01,793 --> 00:03:02,655
You know what?
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00:03:02,758 --> 00:03:04,344
I'm starting to get the idea
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00:03:04,448 --> 00:03:07,655
that Squidward thinks
his snail is better than mine.
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00:03:07,758 --> 00:03:08,655
No!
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00:03:08,758 --> 00:03:10,724
Patrick, are you thinking
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00:03:10,827 --> 00:03:12,034
what I'm thinking?
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00:03:12,137 --> 00:03:14,137
Yeah, I should get a snail
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00:03:14,241 --> 00:03:17,827
and enter it
in that race and
beat Squidward.
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00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,000
Are youthinking
what I'm thinking?
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00:03:22,689 --> 00:03:23,862
No, no, no!
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00:03:23,965 --> 00:03:26,310
I'm thinking about entering
you in that race
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00:03:26,413 --> 00:03:27,931
and beating Squidward's snail!
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Looks like we're going
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00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,068
to start our training now,
ladies.
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00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,724
I call you a lady
to humiliate and demean you.
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00:03:35,827 --> 00:03:37,620
It's a motivational tool
we coaches use.
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00:03:37,724 --> 00:03:41,000
Hmm, I don't know why
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00:03:41,103 --> 00:03:44,793
but I think I'll kick
SpongeBob's butt tomorrow.
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00:03:45,827 --> 00:03:48,620
Kelp powder for muscle mass
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00:03:48,724 --> 00:03:51,620
raw eggs 'cause they're cliche
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00:03:51,724 --> 00:03:53,689
and nails for toughness.
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00:03:56,034 --> 00:03:59,034
Of course I expect you
to eat this.
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00:03:59,137 --> 00:04:02,034
It's scientifically designed
to help you win tomorrow.
87
00:04:02,137 --> 00:04:03,482
Gary?
88
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,931
Wow, pretty good time.
89
00:04:07,034 --> 00:04:09,620
Hey, SpongeBob,
check out my new snail.
90
00:04:09,724 --> 00:04:11,793
Patrick, your snail is a rock.
91
00:04:11,896 --> 00:04:13,793
Yeah, thanks. I know.
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00:04:13,896 --> 00:04:16,448
He's got nerves of steel.
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00:04:16,551 --> 00:04:17,689
See you at the big race!
94
00:04:17,793 --> 00:04:19,482
Boy, the competition's
getting tough.
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00:04:19,586 --> 00:04:21,206
That's it, Gary.
96
00:04:21,310 --> 00:04:24,275
We are going to start
some serious training right now.
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00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:31,965
All right, Gary,
let's start with some sprints.
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00:04:32,068 --> 00:04:34,586
On your mark, set, go!
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00:04:34,689 --> 00:04:35,827
Go, Gary, go, come on!
100
00:04:35,931 --> 00:04:38,482
Go, Gary!
It's all yours, Gary!
101
00:04:39,758 --> 00:04:41,068
Gary?
102
00:04:41,172 --> 00:04:44,413
Come on, Gary,
the big race is tomorrow.
103
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:48,172
You got to start training
if you want to win.
104
00:04:48,275 --> 00:04:50,310
Don't waste your breath,
SpongeBob.
105
00:04:50,413 --> 00:04:54,103
That mongrel of yours
doesn't have a chance
against Snellie.
106
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:55,034
Excuse me
107
00:04:55,137 --> 00:04:57,793
but you two seem
to be forgetting
108
00:04:57,896 --> 00:05:00,896
who the real winner will be...
My snail.
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00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,758
Patrick, that's a rock.
110
00:05:02,862 --> 00:05:04,620
Yeah, thanks. I know.
111
00:05:04,724 --> 00:05:06,758
He's got nerves of steel.
112
00:05:06,862 --> 00:05:08,379
Hey, what are you
standing on, anyway?
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00:05:09,344 --> 00:05:10,241
Like I said
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00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,896
don't even bother
showing up tomorrow.
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00:05:14,586 --> 00:05:18,620
My snail's really got Squidward
scared, huh, SpongeBob?
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00:05:18,724 --> 00:05:19,862
Sorry, Patrick.
117
00:05:19,965 --> 00:05:21,758
Gary and I've got
some serious work to do.
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00:05:21,862 --> 00:05:25,275
You can run, but you can't hide,
Squarepants!
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00:05:25,379 --> 00:05:27,758
All right, Gary,
no more fooling around.
120
00:05:27,862 --> 00:05:29,517
Time to get serious.
121
00:05:30,758 --> 00:05:32,344
Come on, Gary, move it!
122
00:05:32,448 --> 00:05:34,689
Up, up, up, up!
Down, down, down, down!
123
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,793
Faster, faster, faster!
Go, go, go!
124
00:05:36,896 --> 00:05:38,551
Come on, push it, Gary, push it!
125
00:05:38,655 --> 00:05:39,793
Move that shell!
126
00:05:39,896 --> 00:05:41,344
Come on, Gary, move it!
127
00:05:41,448 --> 00:05:43,241
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go! Faster!
128
00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:46,000
Let's go! Let's go!
Speed it up! Speed it up!
129
00:05:46,103 --> 00:05:47,758
Move it, Gary!
Move it, move it, move it!
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00:05:47,862 --> 00:05:49,965
Stroke, stroke, stroke.
131
00:05:50,068 --> 00:05:51,965
Come on, Gary,
we're going to be late
132
00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:54,068
for the big race!
133
00:05:54,172 --> 00:05:55,965
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen
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00:05:56,068 --> 00:05:57,758
and welcome to our live coverage
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00:05:57,862 --> 00:06:00,413
of this year's spring classic,
the 102nd Running of The Snail.
136
00:06:00,517 --> 00:06:02,965
And what a beautiful day
for this sport of kings
137
00:06:03,068 --> 00:06:04,482
of which I'm a huge fan.
138
00:06:04,586 --> 00:06:05,931
Seriously, I'm just a fan.
139
00:06:06,034 --> 00:06:08,275
I was on my way to my seat,
the door was open...
140
00:06:08,379 --> 00:06:09,827
Hey, what are you doing?!
141
00:06:11,793 --> 00:06:12,827
Sorry about that, folks.
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00:06:12,931 --> 00:06:14,310
Let's go down to the field
143
00:06:14,413 --> 00:06:16,896
to join the mayor
for the pre-game ceremony.
144
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:22,827
And now for the lighting of the
Torch of Good Sportsmanship.
145
00:06:22,931 --> 00:06:24,344
Please join me
146
00:06:24,448 --> 00:06:28,931
in welcoming snail racing's
first-ever champion
147
00:06:29,034 --> 00:06:31,034
Lightning Larry Luciano!
148
00:06:33,034 --> 00:06:35,896
Would you look at that, folks?
149
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,862
Lightning Larry Luciano,
a living legend
150
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:41,931
slowly making his way
center stage.
151
00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:46,310
And what a proud moment
for this sport.
152
00:06:46,413 --> 00:06:50,344
The crowd is going
absolutely nuts...
153
00:06:50,448 --> 00:06:51,965
for Larry.
154
00:06:52,068 --> 00:06:54,482
He's almost there.
155
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:57,931
Uh, yes, siree.
156
00:06:58,034 --> 00:07:01,000
Any minute now.
157
00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:05,655
He's almost a quarter
of the way there.
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00:07:13,965 --> 00:07:15,000
The torch is lit!
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00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:16,103
Let the race begin.
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00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:20,137
Well, SpongeBob, I must admit
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00:07:20,241 --> 00:07:22,931
I didn't think
that mongrel mutt of yours
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00:07:23,034 --> 00:07:25,034
would even find
the starting line.
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00:07:25,137 --> 00:07:26,586
Congratulations.
164
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:30,448
Save it for the loser's circle,
Squidward.
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00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:33,137
Gary happens to be
in the best shape of his life.
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00:07:37,034 --> 00:07:38,965
I'll alert the paramedics.
167
00:07:39,068 --> 00:07:41,137
Good one, Squidward.
168
00:07:41,241 --> 00:07:42,448
You guys ready?
169
00:07:42,551 --> 00:07:43,379
Uh! A burglar!
170
00:07:43,482 --> 00:07:45,758
No, Patrick,
that's the official.
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00:07:45,862 --> 00:07:47,620
We're ready to start
here, folks.
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00:07:47,724 --> 00:07:49,620
Okay, Snellie, let's show these
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00:07:49,724 --> 00:07:51,413
common, garden-variety snails
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00:07:51,517 --> 00:07:54,000
what superior breeding
is all about.
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00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,827
All right, Gary, listen up.
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00:07:56,931 --> 00:07:58,896
The competition is
going to be fierce.
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00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,103
You're the undersnail.
178
00:08:00,206 --> 00:08:02,103
Everybody's already
counting you out.
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00:08:02,206 --> 00:08:03,482
Now get out there and win
180
00:08:03,586 --> 00:08:05,965
so we can rub Squidward's
big, fat nose in it.
181
00:08:07,379 --> 00:08:09,586
This is what you've been
training for, Rocky.
182
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:11,206
This is why we're here.
183
00:08:11,310 --> 00:08:13,586
On your mark, get set
184
00:08:13,689 --> 00:08:14,689
slither!
185
00:08:14,758 --> 00:08:16,689
And they're off!
186
00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:19,344
Number six, Snellie, rockets out
of the starting blocks
187
00:08:19,448 --> 00:08:21,793
leaving the other two
competitors in the dust!
188
00:08:21,896 --> 00:08:22,896
What?
189
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,344
Go, Snellie, you got it, baby!
190
00:08:24,448 --> 00:08:27,448
What are you doing, Gary?!
The race has started!
191
00:08:27,551 --> 00:08:30,068
You let Snellie take the lead!
192
00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:33,310
Let's go, Gary!
Start moving!
193
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:36,827
You're blowing everything
we trained for!
194
00:08:36,931 --> 00:08:38,241
Blowing it!
195
00:08:38,344 --> 00:08:41,034
It's okay, Rocky.
You go when you feel like it.
196
00:08:41,137 --> 00:08:44,068
Gary, are you listening to me?!
197
00:08:44,172 --> 00:08:46,724
Get the anchors out
of your pants right now!
198
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,172
Don't give me that look!
199
00:08:48,275 --> 00:08:52,482
I said now, mister!
Get going, Gary!
200
00:08:52,586 --> 00:08:54,275
Go, go, go, go!
201
00:08:54,379 --> 00:08:57,655
And there goes number seven
out of the starting gate.
202
00:08:57,758 --> 00:08:58,827
Hang on, folks.
203
00:08:58,931 --> 00:09:02,241
He doesn't look so good.
204
00:09:02,344 --> 00:09:05,862
Not good enough, Gary!
Not good enough! Faster!
205
00:09:09,310 --> 00:09:11,379
I do not like the look of this.
206
00:09:11,482 --> 00:09:14,068
Come on, Gary, it's a race!
A race!
207
00:09:14,172 --> 00:09:16,379
Have you heard of 'em?!
208
00:09:16,482 --> 00:09:19,241
That coach is pushing that snail
too hard.
209
00:09:19,344 --> 00:09:22,137
Faster, Gary! Faster, faster,
faster, faster!
210
00:09:24,103 --> 00:09:25,413
Huh?
211
00:09:25,517 --> 00:09:27,448
Oh! Looks like number seven
has a blowout.
212
00:09:31,172 --> 00:09:32,862
Oop, make that two, folks.
213
00:09:35,689 --> 00:09:36,689
Uh, Gary?
214
00:09:39,896 --> 00:09:42,586
Plus a blown head gasket!
215
00:09:42,689 --> 00:09:45,000
Oh, and the poor creature's
still going for it.
216
00:09:45,103 --> 00:09:48,034
Um, Gary, you can stop now.
217
00:09:48,137 --> 00:09:50,034
And he's losing control!
218
00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:59,931
You can take a breath now
if you want to, Gary!
219
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:01,965
He's spinning out of control!
220
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:04,793
He's heading straight
for the wall!
221
00:10:13,172 --> 00:10:15,206
No!
222
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,896
Hold on, Gary, I'm coming!
223
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,448
Whoa-oa.
224
00:10:22,551 --> 00:10:25,482
One of the coaches seems
to have raced onto the track.
225
00:10:25,586 --> 00:10:27,862
That is an automatic
disqualification.
226
00:10:27,965 --> 00:10:30,758
Looks like number six
has this race all wrapped up,
227
00:10:30,862 --> 00:10:32,068
ladies and gentlemen.
228
00:10:32,172 --> 00:10:35,241
Come on, Snellie,
it's all you, baby!
229
00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:36,793
Oh, Gary, I'm sorry.
230
00:10:36,896 --> 00:10:40,137
Why didn't you just say
I was pushing it too hard?
231
00:10:41,551 --> 00:10:42,724
You did?
232
00:10:42,827 --> 00:10:45,000
Oh, Gary, why didn't you tell me
I wasn't listening?!
233
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:47,137
You did?
234
00:10:47,241 --> 00:10:51,413
Oh, Gary!
Oh, Gary!
235
00:10:52,724 --> 00:10:54,137
What?!
236
00:10:56,103 --> 00:10:57,793
Gary?
237
00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:03,241
Oh...
238
00:11:03,344 --> 00:11:05,758
Aw...
239
00:11:07,206 --> 00:11:08,448
My, oh, my.
240
00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:12,413
Folks, I have never seen
anything quite like this.
241
00:11:12,517 --> 00:11:16,655
It seems Snellie, the leader,
just went back to comfort Gary.
242
00:11:16,758 --> 00:11:20,379
Looks like you and I are
in-laws, eh, Squidward?
243
00:11:20,482 --> 00:11:22,137
But that's impossible.
244
00:11:22,241 --> 00:11:24,103
If Snellie didn't win, then...
245
00:11:24,206 --> 00:11:27,137
And the winner is Rocky!
246
00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:36,000
I can't believe it.
247
00:11:36,103 --> 00:11:39,241
My purebred...
Which cost me $1,700...
248
00:11:39,344 --> 00:11:41,275
Lost to a rock.
249
00:11:41,379 --> 00:11:43,068
Don't worry, Squidward.
250
00:11:43,172 --> 00:11:45,206
I know how much
you wanted to win
251
00:11:45,310 --> 00:11:47,931
so I had the trophy
engraved to you.
252
00:11:48,034 --> 00:11:49,137
Gosh, Patrick, thanks.
253
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:52,172
"The 1st Place Snail Racing Cup
254
00:11:52,275 --> 00:11:55,793
Presented to
Squidward Tortellini?"
255
00:11:55,896 --> 00:11:58,931
Will I ever win?
256
00:12:02,344 --> 00:12:04,586
That's for yesterday,
Squarepants!
257
00:12:16,413 --> 00:12:19,275
You've got it tuned to KOLD...
258
00:12:19,379 --> 00:12:21,000
K-OLD, the all oldies station.
259
00:12:21,103 --> 00:12:22,310
Here's a little something
260
00:12:22,413 --> 00:12:25,931
you may remember
from the good old days.
261
00:12:26,034 --> 00:12:28,068
♪ You're old
262
00:12:28,172 --> 00:12:30,206
♪ You're old ♪
263
00:12:31,482 --> 00:12:33,172
♪ Grumbling like a geezer
264
00:12:36,862 --> 00:12:42,379
♪ Yourself a-cracklin'
like an old has-been ♪
265
00:12:42,482 --> 00:12:47,482
♪ Look at yourself, old man,
you've got multiple chins ♪
266
00:12:47,586 --> 00:12:51,724
♪ 'Cause you're old...
267
00:12:54,448 --> 00:12:57,103
Good morning, Daddy.
268
00:12:57,206 --> 00:12:58,413
I made you breakfast.
269
00:12:58,517 --> 00:13:00,862
Thank you, sweet pea.
270
00:13:00,965 --> 00:13:03,586
I see you got creative
with the bran today.
271
00:13:03,689 --> 00:13:07,586
Open up. It's time
for the pill.
272
00:13:07,689 --> 00:13:08,689
Oh, Barnacles.
273
00:13:08,724 --> 00:13:10,827
I hate the pill.
274
00:13:14,275 --> 00:13:15,379
Ooh...
275
00:13:15,482 --> 00:13:19,000
Pearl... do you think
I'm... old?
276
00:13:19,103 --> 00:13:21,034
Well, of course I do!
277
00:13:21,137 --> 00:13:22,241
But that's okay.
278
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:24,482
Daddies are supposed to be old.
279
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:27,275
But I'm still cool, right?
280
00:13:27,379 --> 00:13:29,344
Your old man is cool?
281
00:13:29,448 --> 00:13:32,344
See, no one says "cool" anymore.
282
00:13:32,448 --> 00:13:34,172
That's such an old-person thing.
283
00:13:34,275 --> 00:13:36,827
Now we say "coral," as in
284
00:13:36,931 --> 00:13:39,689
"That nose job is so coral."
285
00:13:39,793 --> 00:13:41,241
"Coral," eh?
286
00:13:41,344 --> 00:13:45,724
Ew. When you say it,
it sounds so uncoral.
287
00:13:45,827 --> 00:13:48,586
What if I said it
with a different inflection?
288
00:13:48,689 --> 00:13:50,655
Co-ral.
289
00:13:50,758 --> 00:13:53,724
Don't you have to go
to work or something, Dad?
290
00:13:53,827 --> 00:13:55,448
Whoo! You're right.
291
00:13:55,551 --> 00:13:58,379
Have a coral day, honey.
292
00:14:00,379 --> 00:14:01,517
Jenny, it's Pearl.
293
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:04,551
Coral is definitely out.
294
00:14:04,655 --> 00:14:08,344
Ha! Old?!
295
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,241
What was I thinking?
296
00:14:10,344 --> 00:14:12,344
I ain't old. Huh?
297
00:14:12,448 --> 00:14:13,482
Don't worry, Pops.
298
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,000
We're almost across the street.
299
00:14:15,103 --> 00:14:16,448
Hey, get away from me.
300
00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:19,551
I don't need no
snot-nosed little...
301
00:14:19,655 --> 00:14:21,689
sorry you had to see that.
302
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:28,241
Come on. Move it!
303
00:14:28,344 --> 00:14:31,172
Could you be any slower?
304
00:14:31,275 --> 00:14:33,344
And you've had your blinker on
305
00:14:33,448 --> 00:14:36,482
for the last five blocks.
306
00:14:41,551 --> 00:14:42,965
Hey, Mister, could you
307
00:14:43,068 --> 00:14:44,517
throw the ball back over here?
308
00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:47,482
Hey, how's about
I join you kids?
309
00:14:48,827 --> 00:14:50,344
Uh... that's okay.
310
00:14:50,448 --> 00:14:51,827
You can keep it.
311
00:14:51,931 --> 00:14:54,413
Why do old people always
have to ruin the fun?
312
00:15:00,206 --> 00:15:02,068
Hey! No cutting!
313
00:15:02,172 --> 00:15:05,517
You got to wait your
turn like everybody else.
314
00:15:06,482 --> 00:15:09,724
No... no!
I ain't old like you!
315
00:15:09,827 --> 00:15:11,275
I ain't old!
316
00:15:11,379 --> 00:15:14,103
I ain't old!
317
00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:16,241
What's his problem?
318
00:15:16,344 --> 00:15:18,931
Next.
319
00:15:20,517 --> 00:15:23,034
Mommy, my Krabby patty
tastes funny.
320
00:15:23,137 --> 00:15:24,724
Well, no wonder.
321
00:15:24,827 --> 00:15:26,586
It's all old and dried out...
322
00:15:26,689 --> 00:15:28,482
like that man right there.
323
00:15:29,517 --> 00:15:31,379
Now, put that thing
where it belongs...
324
00:15:31,482 --> 00:15:32,620
In the garbage.
325
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,344
♪ La-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la ♪
326
00:15:34,448 --> 00:15:36,551
♪ La-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la... ♪
327
00:15:36,655 --> 00:15:40,448
Well, little patty,
we're two of a kind.
328
00:15:40,551 --> 00:15:44,206
We've both lost our luster.
329
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,310
Hmm. So that's
what I taste like.
330
00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:48,241
Good morning, Krusty Crew.
331
00:15:48,344 --> 00:15:52,862
Hi, Patrick! You all ready
for the big night out tonight?
332
00:15:52,965 --> 00:15:54,448
Yeah, it's gonna rock!
333
00:15:54,551 --> 00:15:56,586
Are you ready to go crazy?!
334
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,448
I'm already hearing voices!
335
00:15:58,551 --> 00:16:00,137
Are you ready to...
336
00:16:00,241 --> 00:16:03,517
SpongeBob! Patrick!
Do you mind?
337
00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:06,827
Let's continue
this conversation
in private, Patrick.
338
00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:10,137
I think some people
are eavesdropping!
339
00:16:10,241 --> 00:16:12,413
Well, how rude of some people!
340
00:16:12,517 --> 00:16:15,448
Mmm. Those youngsters
are going out
341
00:16:15,551 --> 00:16:17,655
for a big night on the town.
342
00:16:17,758 --> 00:16:21,310
Whoo! I've been looking
forward to this night all week.
343
00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:22,551
Party!
344
00:16:22,655 --> 00:16:24,551
What do you think
we should do first?
345
00:16:24,655 --> 00:16:26,551
What shouldn't we do first?
346
00:16:26,655 --> 00:16:28,379
We're young...
347
00:16:28,482 --> 00:16:30,241
we've got wheels...
348
00:16:30,344 --> 00:16:31,620
the world is our oyster!
349
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:34,344
SpongeBob, you got something
on your shoulder.
350
00:16:34,448 --> 00:16:37,172
Hey, boys.
Hanging out?
351
00:16:37,275 --> 00:16:38,103
Yes.
352
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:39,482
I couldn't help
353
00:16:39,586 --> 00:16:42,758
overhearing your big plans,
and I was wondering
354
00:16:42,862 --> 00:16:46,517
if you had room for one more
crazy dude tonight, huh?
355
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:50,310
Of course. Did you want
to come with us, Mr. Krabs?
356
00:16:50,413 --> 00:16:52,379
Oh... hadn't even
crossed me mind.
357
00:16:52,482 --> 00:16:53,620
But sure! I'll go!
358
00:16:53,724 --> 00:16:55,586
I don't know, SpongeBob.
359
00:16:55,689 --> 00:16:57,827
He might cramp our style.
360
00:16:57,931 --> 00:16:59,206
Style!
361
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:00,758
Let's see if he knows
362
00:17:00,862 --> 00:17:03,275
the secret cool-guy handshake.
363
00:17:03,379 --> 00:17:04,379
Uh... yeah!
364
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:05,482
'Course I know it.
365
00:17:05,586 --> 00:17:07,068
Uh...
366
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:09,482
Uh...
367
00:17:09,586 --> 00:17:12,551
I'm waiting... old man.
368
00:17:12,655 --> 00:17:15,000
Uh... how do you do?
369
00:17:15,103 --> 00:17:17,448
Fine, and you?
All right, you're in.
370
00:17:17,551 --> 00:17:18,896
But I'm not happy about it.
371
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,241
You passed the test,
Mr. Krabs!
372
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:25,344
Great! Why don't you boys
show up at my house at 8:00.
373
00:17:25,448 --> 00:17:27,586
I just want to warn you,
Mr. Krabs
374
00:17:27,689 --> 00:17:28,889
we're always fashionably late.
375
00:17:32,655 --> 00:17:34,793
Hey, there, Mr. Krabs.
376
00:17:34,896 --> 00:17:36,586
Are you ready to party!
377
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,517
Oh, I'm ready to party!
378
00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:39,620
Are you ready to party?
379
00:17:39,689 --> 00:17:40,758
I'm ready to party!
380
00:17:40,862 --> 00:17:42,551
Are you ready to party,
SpongeBob?
381
00:17:42,655 --> 00:17:43,758
I'm ready to party!
382
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:45,586
Are you ready to party,
Mr. Krabs?
383
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:47,068
I'm ready to par-tay!
384
00:17:47,172 --> 00:17:49,068
Are you ready
to par-tay, SpongeBob!
385
00:17:49,172 --> 00:17:50,206
I'm ready to par-tay!
386
00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:51,630
Are you ready to par-tay,
Patrick?
387
00:17:51,655 --> 00:17:52,758
I'm ready to party!
388
00:17:52,862 --> 00:17:54,551
Are you ready to party,
Mr. Krabs?
389
00:17:54,655 --> 00:17:56,448
I'm ready to party!
390
00:17:56,551 --> 00:17:57,551
Are you ready to...
391
00:17:57,655 --> 00:17:59,586
Stop it!
Just stop it.
392
00:17:59,689 --> 00:18:02,793
You're embarrassing me, Dad.
393
00:18:02,896 --> 00:18:07,103
So... what kind of hot rod
will we be cruisin' in tonight?
394
00:18:07,206 --> 00:18:09,931
Only the most powerful
chick-magnet in town...
395
00:18:10,034 --> 00:18:12,068
the underwater heartbreaker.
396
00:18:12,172 --> 00:18:14,827
It's more like
a chick repellent.
397
00:18:14,931 --> 00:18:17,275
And there's only two seats.
398
00:18:17,379 --> 00:18:19,103
Calm your waters,
Mr. Krabs.
399
00:18:19,206 --> 00:18:22,068
I modified this little
baby myself.
400
00:18:23,931 --> 00:18:26,793
Are you sure this is what
the kids are driving these days?
401
00:18:26,896 --> 00:18:29,206
Only the cool kids.
402
00:18:30,758 --> 00:18:32,724
Hey. You guys
must be lost.
403
00:18:32,827 --> 00:18:35,344
Doofus Drive
is around the corner.
404
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:36,620
We're not lost.
405
00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:38,413
I've got my compass.
406
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:41,172
So long, dorks!
Ha-ha!
407
00:18:41,275 --> 00:18:42,724
Good-bye, pals.
408
00:18:42,827 --> 00:18:45,827
We used to beat people up
for saying things like that!
409
00:18:45,931 --> 00:18:48,206
Everything's
all topsy-turvy now.
410
00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:50,931
Here we are...
411
00:18:51,034 --> 00:18:52,137
The Wash.
412
00:18:52,241 --> 00:18:54,827
They sure are giving these clubs
some crazy names.
413
00:18:54,931 --> 00:18:57,655
I have to tell you boys...
414
00:18:57,758 --> 00:18:58,965
I'm a little nervous.
415
00:18:59,068 --> 00:19:02,793
I haven't been, you know,
"on the scene"
416
00:19:02,896 --> 00:19:04,655
for quite a while now.
417
00:19:04,758 --> 00:19:07,000
Just follow our
lead, Mr. Krabs.
418
00:19:07,103 --> 00:19:09,379
And above all...
keep it cool.
419
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,103
Cool... Gotcha.
420
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:20,517
Hello, gang.
SpongeBob's back.
421
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:22,517
Let's party!
422
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,551
Any port in a stor...
423
00:19:24,655 --> 00:19:26,068
Wait a minute.
424
00:19:27,275 --> 00:19:29,655
This is a Laundromat.
425
00:19:29,758 --> 00:19:31,896
Oh, yeah! Whoo!
426
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,172
That's what I'm talking about.
427
00:19:34,275 --> 00:19:36,034
Oh, yeah, yeah!
428
00:19:36,137 --> 00:19:37,137
The colors!
429
00:19:37,241 --> 00:19:39,620
Whoa, yeah!
430
00:19:39,724 --> 00:19:42,068
You guys want another
rinse cycle? I'm buying.
431
00:19:42,172 --> 00:19:44,724
You know, I love staring
at delicates
432
00:19:44,827 --> 00:19:46,896
as much as the next guy, but...
433
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,724
it's just that, I thought
we'd see more of the nightlife.
434
00:19:49,827 --> 00:19:51,068
Something that will give me
435
00:19:51,172 --> 00:19:54,413
that wild and crazy,
hot-blooded feeling...
436
00:19:54,517 --> 00:19:55,655
if you know what I mean.
437
00:19:55,758 --> 00:19:59,137
Oh, I know what you mean,
Mr. Krabs.
438
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:03,551
This is only stop numero uno
on our night of debauchery!
439
00:20:03,655 --> 00:20:05,103
Debauchery!
440
00:20:05,206 --> 00:20:06,206
Debauchery!
441
00:20:08,689 --> 00:20:11,068
Debauchery? I never thought
442
00:20:11,172 --> 00:20:13,896
of picking up trash under
the highway as hot-blooded.
443
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,482
But if it's what the kids
are into...
444
00:20:16,586 --> 00:20:17,827
So are you feeling
445
00:20:17,931 --> 00:20:20,000
that wild and crazy
feeling, Mr. Krabs?
446
00:20:20,103 --> 00:20:21,344
Not yet.
447
00:20:21,448 --> 00:20:22,862
Don't worry, you will.
448
00:20:22,965 --> 00:20:25,586
Are you feeling it
now, Mr. Krabs?
449
00:20:25,689 --> 00:20:27,137
I'm feeling a warm spot.
450
00:20:27,241 --> 00:20:28,241
Sorry.
451
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,310
Are you feeling it now
452
00:20:29,413 --> 00:20:30,413
Mr. Krabs?
453
00:20:30,448 --> 00:20:31,448
Are you feeling it?
454
00:20:31,482 --> 00:20:33,172
I'm feeling it, SpongeBob.
455
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:35,344
Patrick, that's not a ride.
456
00:20:35,448 --> 00:20:38,103
Get off of me.
457
00:20:38,206 --> 00:20:39,965
Are you feeling it now,
Mr. Krabs?
458
00:20:40,068 --> 00:20:42,103
Are you feeling
it now, Mr. Krabs?
459
00:20:42,206 --> 00:20:45,517
Art thou feeling it now,
Mr. Krabs?
460
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:47,827
You feeling it now,
Mr. Krabs?
461
00:20:47,931 --> 00:20:49,137
Shh!
462
00:20:49,241 --> 00:20:51,000
How about now?
Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs?
463
00:20:51,103 --> 00:20:53,586
Can you feel it,
Mr. Krabs?
464
00:20:53,689 --> 00:20:55,344
Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs?
465
00:20:55,448 --> 00:20:56,827
Can you feel it,
Mr. Krabs?
466
00:20:56,931 --> 00:21:00,034
So, you want to know
if I can feelit?
467
00:21:00,137 --> 00:21:01,413
Yeah! Yeah!
468
00:21:01,517 --> 00:21:04,793
Do you really want to know
if I can feelit?
469
00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:06,482
Yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah!
470
00:21:06,586 --> 00:21:08,758
Because I can feelit.
471
00:21:08,862 --> 00:21:10,724
You want to know what
I'm feeling?
472
00:21:10,827 --> 00:21:12,068
Yes! Yes!
473
00:21:12,172 --> 00:21:16,344
I'm feeling like
a total barnacle-head!
474
00:21:20,551 --> 00:21:22,206
You think this is cool?!
475
00:21:22,310 --> 00:21:23,482
How about this!
476
00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:26,655
And this! Am I with it now?
477
00:21:26,758 --> 00:21:28,413
You guys wouldn't
know a good time
478
00:21:28,517 --> 00:21:29,827
if it bit you in the aft end!
479
00:21:29,931 --> 00:21:31,379
I'm going home.
480
00:21:31,482 --> 00:21:32,620
You guys ain't cool.
481
00:21:32,724 --> 00:21:34,310
You're lame!
482
00:21:34,413 --> 00:21:36,310
Uh... lame?!
483
00:21:36,413 --> 00:21:37,689
Lame!
484
00:21:37,793 --> 00:21:39,275
You're nerds! Geeks
485
00:21:39,379 --> 00:21:41,551
Creeps! And babies!
486
00:21:41,655 --> 00:21:44,896
Not babies!
Not babies!
487
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,896
I may be old, but even
an old bag of shells like me
488
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,655
knows that you haven't suggested
one cool thing all night!
489
00:21:51,758 --> 00:21:53,068
So good night to ya!
490
00:21:53,172 --> 00:21:56,517
I guess you're going to miss
the panty raid.
491
00:21:56,620 --> 00:21:57,620
The what?
492
00:21:57,724 --> 00:22:00,724
I said... I guess you're going
493
00:22:00,827 --> 00:22:03,172
to miss the panty raid.
494
00:22:03,275 --> 00:22:08,551
Panty raid? You're talking
about girls, right?
495
00:22:08,655 --> 00:22:10,137
Girl girls?
496
00:22:10,241 --> 00:22:11,413
Yeah.
497
00:22:11,517 --> 00:22:14,586
And you're talking
about raiding their dressers
498
00:22:14,689 --> 00:22:16,310
for their underpants, right?
499
00:22:16,413 --> 00:22:18,448
Oh, yeah.
500
00:22:18,551 --> 00:22:20,862
Well, count me in!
501
00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:23,344
If this works, I'll take
back what I said
502
00:22:23,448 --> 00:22:24,827
about you two being lame.
503
00:22:24,931 --> 00:22:26,724
Not lame!
504
00:22:26,827 --> 00:22:29,448
Now, this is more like it!
505
00:22:29,551 --> 00:22:31,965
Give us some credit, old man.
506
00:22:32,068 --> 00:22:34,517
We're panty professionals!
507
00:22:34,620 --> 00:22:37,586
We score here all the time.
508
00:22:42,758 --> 00:22:44,517
Frilly things!
509
00:22:44,620 --> 00:22:46,689
We hit the jackpot!
510
00:22:46,793 --> 00:22:48,448
Oh, yeah,
Mr. Krabs!
511
00:22:48,551 --> 00:22:49,793
Woo-hoo!
512
00:22:49,896 --> 00:22:52,517
You finally came through
for me, boys!
513
00:22:52,620 --> 00:22:54,241
I feel young again.
514
00:22:54,344 --> 00:22:55,344
Eugene?
515
00:22:55,448 --> 00:22:56,620
Mother?
516
00:22:56,724 --> 00:22:58,793
What are you doing
with my bloomers?
517
00:22:58,896 --> 00:23:00,448
Well... I, uh...
518
00:23:03,068 --> 00:23:05,413
Why didn't you tell me
this was my mother's house?
519
00:23:05,517 --> 00:23:06,862
Why didn't you ask?
520
00:23:08,310 --> 00:23:09,379
Uh... ooh.
521
00:23:09,482 --> 00:23:11,758
But it was all SpongeBob
and Patrick's idea!
522
00:23:11,862 --> 00:23:13,344
Go to your room, mister.
523
00:23:13,448 --> 00:23:15,586
You're grounded
for the rest of the night.
524
00:23:15,689 --> 00:23:17,379
Yes, Mommy.
525
00:23:19,655 --> 00:23:20,793
Don't worry, pops.
526
00:23:20,896 --> 00:23:21,936
We're almost to your room.
527
00:23:24,551 --> 00:23:27,689
Sorry, Mr. Krabs.
528
00:23:27,793 --> 00:23:29,758
Ah, that's all right, lad.
529
00:23:29,862 --> 00:23:32,724
I certainly feel younger.
530
00:23:32,827 --> 00:23:33,827
Good night, Mr. Krabs.
531
00:23:33,862 --> 00:23:35,586
Good night, SpongeBob.
532
00:23:35,689 --> 00:23:37,586
Eugene, lights out!
533
00:23:37,689 --> 00:23:38,931
Yes, Mommy.
534
00:23:42,344 --> 00:23:45,896
Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
535
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,413
and NICKELODEON
536
00:23:49,517 --> 00:23:54,275
cess Group at WGBHaccess.wgbh.org
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