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Are you ready, kids?
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00:00:10,965 --> 00:00:12,000
Aye, aye, Captain!
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00:00:12,241 --> 00:00:14,034
I can't hear you.
4
00:00:14,137 --> 00:00:15,413
Aye, aye, Captain!
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00:00:15,689 --> 00:00:18,103
♪ Oh... ♪
6
00:00:18,482 --> 00:00:20,241
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪
7
00:00:20,482 --> 00:00:22,413
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
8
00:00:22,793 --> 00:00:24,724
♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he. ♪
9
00:00:24,965 --> 00:00:26,482
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
10
00:00:26,586 --> 00:00:28,506
♪ If nautical nonsense be
something you wish... ♪
11
00:00:28,758 --> 00:00:30,413
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
12
00:00:30,517 --> 00:00:32,551
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish. ♪
13
00:00:32,793 --> 00:00:34,344
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
14
00:00:34,655 --> 00:00:36,206
♪ Ready?
SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
15
00:00:36,482 --> 00:00:39,206
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
16
00:00:39,482 --> 00:00:40,793
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
17
00:00:41,172 --> 00:00:42,965
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
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00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,965
Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
19
00:00:49,068 --> 00:00:50,275
and NICKELODEON
20
00:01:08,241 --> 00:01:09,344
Hi, mailman!
21
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,103
Okay, see you tomorrow.
22
00:01:12,379 --> 00:01:13,586
Hey, the mail's here.
23
00:01:13,862 --> 00:01:15,068
What did you get?
24
00:01:15,344 --> 00:01:16,689
Let's see...
25
00:01:16,793 --> 00:01:18,233
Gary, Gary, Gary,
Gary, Gary, Gary...
26
00:01:18,482 --> 00:01:19,758
Hey, a magazine!
27
00:01:20,034 --> 00:01:21,689
That's funny, I don't remember
28
00:01:22,068 --> 00:01:24,206
subscribing to
Fancy Living Digest.
29
00:01:24,448 --> 00:01:26,379
Whoa!
30
00:01:26,793 --> 00:01:28,655
Look at these glossy depictions
31
00:01:28,758 --> 00:01:30,517
of a higher standard of living.
32
00:01:30,793 --> 00:01:32,482
This guy's so rich
33
00:01:32,827 --> 00:01:34,620
he has a swimming pool
in his swimming pool.
34
00:01:34,724 --> 00:01:36,448
This guy's got shoes!
35
00:01:36,724 --> 00:01:37,724
Give me that!
36
00:01:37,896 --> 00:01:39,965
Stealing my mail, eh?
37
00:01:40,068 --> 00:01:42,028
You're lucky
I don't report you
to the authorities!
38
00:01:42,172 --> 00:01:43,517
Hey, Squidward,
39
00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:45,758
how do those people
get all that money?
40
00:01:45,862 --> 00:01:48,620
They're entrepreneurs...
They sell things to people.
41
00:01:48,724 --> 00:01:50,103
What kind of things?
42
00:01:50,379 --> 00:01:51,586
How should I know?
43
00:01:51,827 --> 00:01:53,517
Things people want to buy!
44
00:01:53,827 --> 00:01:54,838
Now, keep your paws off my mail.
45
00:01:54,862 --> 00:01:56,275
That's it, Patrick!
46
00:01:56,379 --> 00:01:57,620
We got to become entrepreneurs!
47
00:01:57,724 --> 00:01:59,517
Is that gonna hurt?
48
00:01:59,758 --> 00:02:01,206
Quick, if you
could have anything
49
00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:03,689
in the world right now,
what would it be?
50
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,103
Uh... more time for thinking!
51
00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:10,241
No, something real, an item,
something you would pay for.
52
00:02:10,517 --> 00:02:11,620
A chocolate bar?
53
00:02:11,724 --> 00:02:13,482
That's a great idea, Pat!
54
00:02:13,827 --> 00:02:15,862
We'll be traveling
chocolate bar salesmen.
55
00:02:16,758 --> 00:02:18,172
Fancy living...
56
00:02:18,448 --> 00:02:19,965
here we come!
57
00:02:20,275 --> 00:02:22,620
Make way for a couple
of "entrepe-nooers"!
58
00:02:22,965 --> 00:02:24,793
Okay, Patrick, this is it,
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00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:27,551
the first step on our
road to living fancy.
60
00:02:27,793 --> 00:02:29,206
Just follow my lead.
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00:02:30,586 --> 00:02:32,241
Good afternoon, sir.
62
00:02:32,344 --> 00:02:35,241
Could we interest you
in some chocolate?
63
00:02:35,517 --> 00:02:36,724
Chocolate?
64
00:02:36,827 --> 00:02:39,379
Did you say "chocolate"?
65
00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:40,827
Yes, sir!
66
00:02:40,931 --> 00:02:42,000
With or without nuts?
67
00:02:42,275 --> 00:02:43,482
Chocolate?
68
00:02:43,758 --> 00:02:45,310
Chocolate?!
69
00:02:45,413 --> 00:02:47,482
Chocolate!
70
00:02:47,758 --> 00:02:50,000
Chocolate!
71
00:02:50,275 --> 00:02:51,275
Chocolate!
72
00:02:51,517 --> 00:02:53,241
Chocolate!
73
00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:55,206
Okay, that first guy
didn't count.
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00:02:55,448 --> 00:02:57,275
This is our real first step.
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00:02:57,551 --> 00:02:59,034
Good morning, sir.
76
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:00,689
Would you like to buy
some chocolate?
77
00:03:00,793 --> 00:03:02,620
Chocolate bars, eh?
78
00:03:02,931 --> 00:03:05,241
Yes, sir, we are
chocolate bar salesmen.
79
00:03:05,344 --> 00:03:07,655
A couple a mediocre salesmen,
if you ask me.
80
00:03:07,965 --> 00:03:10,448
That's no way to carry
your merchandise.
81
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,724
No, no, no, wrong.
82
00:03:12,827 --> 00:03:15,413
You guys want to be
goodsalesmen, right?
83
00:03:15,724 --> 00:03:17,517
Oh, most certainly sir!
84
00:03:17,827 --> 00:03:20,034
Well, no self-respecting
candy bar salesman
85
00:03:20,379 --> 00:03:23,551
would be caught dead
without one of these!
86
00:03:23,793 --> 00:03:25,551
Wow... what is it?
87
00:03:25,896 --> 00:03:28,344
It's a candy bar bag,
you knucklehead!
88
00:03:28,620 --> 00:03:29,758
It's specially designed
89
00:03:30,034 --> 00:03:31,586
to cradle each candy bar
90
00:03:31,827 --> 00:03:33,172
in velvet-lined comfort.
91
00:03:33,448 --> 00:03:34,482
But...
92
00:03:34,586 --> 00:03:35,655
I'm wasting my time.
93
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,586
You don't need these bags.
94
00:03:37,827 --> 00:03:39,793
We need them!
We need them!
95
00:03:42,896 --> 00:03:43,965
So long, boys!
96
00:03:44,241 --> 00:03:45,413
Happy hunting!
97
00:03:47,655 --> 00:03:49,275
Suckers!
98
00:03:49,379 --> 00:03:52,379
♪ Fancy living, here we come
99
00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:54,758
♪ La-la, la-la, la... ♪
100
00:03:55,103 --> 00:03:57,965
Let's try next door.
101
00:04:00,344 --> 00:04:01,344
Yes?
102
00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:02,724
Huh?
103
00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:04,172
Say, weren't you the same guy
104
00:04:04,275 --> 00:04:05,555
who sold us these
candy bar bags?
105
00:04:05,655 --> 00:04:07,310
I... don't recall.
106
00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,172
But it looks to me
107
00:04:09,275 --> 00:04:11,035
like you fellas have got
a lot of bags there.
108
00:04:11,137 --> 00:04:13,068
You two lady-killers are
too smart to be
109
00:04:13,517 --> 00:04:17,413
without one of my patented
candy bar bag carrying bags.
110
00:04:17,689 --> 00:04:19,034
We'll take 20!
111
00:04:21,137 --> 00:04:24,379
Oh, what can I do for
you two nice young men?
112
00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:25,780
We're selling chocolate bars.
113
00:04:26,034 --> 00:04:27,344
Like to buy one?
114
00:04:27,448 --> 00:04:29,344
That sounds heavenly.
115
00:04:29,586 --> 00:04:30,931
I'll take one.
116
00:04:31,034 --> 00:04:32,827
One chocolate bar coming up!
117
00:04:35,137 --> 00:04:36,137
Huh?
118
00:04:37,448 --> 00:04:38,620
Eh...
119
00:04:38,896 --> 00:04:40,068
Huh?
120
00:04:42,793 --> 00:04:43,862
Huh?
121
00:04:43,965 --> 00:04:46,137
Uh, uh, uh...
122
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,862
I know they're
in here somewhere!
123
00:04:54,965 --> 00:04:56,310
I don't have time for this.
124
00:04:57,655 --> 00:04:59,137
I got it!
125
00:04:59,241 --> 00:05:00,551
One chocolate bar
for the nice...
126
00:05:00,793 --> 00:05:01,793
Chocolate!
127
00:05:01,965 --> 00:05:02,965
Chocolate!
128
00:05:03,034 --> 00:05:04,137
Chocolate!
129
00:05:04,413 --> 00:05:06,241
Chocolate!
130
00:05:07,517 --> 00:05:08,631
We're not doing
so well, Patrick.
131
00:05:08,655 --> 00:05:09,655
We need a new approach...
132
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,000
a new tactic!
133
00:05:11,241 --> 00:05:12,551
Huh...
134
00:05:12,655 --> 00:05:14,137
I got it... let's get naked!
135
00:05:14,241 --> 00:05:16,401
No, let's save that for when
we're selling real estate.
136
00:05:16,551 --> 00:05:18,000
There must be something!
137
00:05:18,103 --> 00:05:19,703
What was the reason
we bought those bags?
138
00:05:19,896 --> 00:05:21,551
He said we were mediocre.
139
00:05:21,862 --> 00:05:23,724
That's it...
He made us feel special.
140
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,551
Yeah, he did.
141
00:05:25,655 --> 00:05:26,935
I'm going back to buy more bags!
142
00:05:26,965 --> 00:05:27,965
No, wait, Patrick!
143
00:05:29,724 --> 00:05:31,379
Why don't we try being nice?
144
00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:33,551
Oh... okay.
145
00:05:33,896 --> 00:05:36,241
Remember, Patrick,
flatter the customer.
146
00:05:36,517 --> 00:05:38,068
Make him feel good.
147
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,000
Hello?
148
00:05:40,103 --> 00:05:41,448
I love you.
149
00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,275
You laid it on
a teensy thick
there, old pal.
150
00:05:45,551 --> 00:05:46,551
Let me try.
151
00:05:47,827 --> 00:05:49,068
Please. Go away!
152
00:05:49,310 --> 00:05:50,896
Um...
153
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,586
Uh, uh, how ya doin'?
154
00:05:52,862 --> 00:05:54,068
How am I doing?
155
00:05:54,344 --> 00:05:55,586
Wanna buy some chocolate?
156
00:05:55,827 --> 00:05:56,862
We got him now!
157
00:05:57,206 --> 00:05:58,689
Sorry, chocolate has sugar,
158
00:05:58,931 --> 00:06:00,211
and sugar turns to bubbling fat.
159
00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:01,965
Isn't that right, lover boy?
160
00:06:02,275 --> 00:06:04,000
It tickles!
161
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,182
As you can see,
me and chocolate no longer hang.
162
00:06:06,206 --> 00:06:08,482
You can keep that
for five bucks.
163
00:06:08,758 --> 00:06:10,275
I'll take ten!
164
00:06:10,379 --> 00:06:12,034
We haven't sold
one chocolate bar.
165
00:06:12,482 --> 00:06:15,206
I have a feeling we're
too easily distracted.
166
00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:16,620
Huh?
167
00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:18,482
Let's make a pact right now
168
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:21,137
that we will stay
focused on selling
at the next house.
169
00:06:21,241 --> 00:06:22,241
What?
170
00:06:22,517 --> 00:06:23,655
Let's shake on it.
171
00:06:23,931 --> 00:06:25,241
Did you say something?
172
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:27,241
Remember, Patrick, focus.
173
00:06:29,344 --> 00:06:30,517
Yes?
174
00:06:30,620 --> 00:06:31,931
Good afternoon, sir.
175
00:06:32,034 --> 00:06:33,413
We're selling chocolate bars.
176
00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:38,068
Why is Chubby here
staring at me?
177
00:06:38,172 --> 00:06:40,413
Focusing.
178
00:06:42,517 --> 00:06:43,551
Back up, Jack!
179
00:06:46,896 --> 00:06:48,758
Nice place you got here.
180
00:06:49,206 --> 00:06:52,586
I can't understand
what we're doing wrong.
181
00:06:52,689 --> 00:06:54,172
I can't understand anything.
182
00:06:54,551 --> 00:06:56,793
There must be something
to this selling game
183
00:06:57,034 --> 00:06:58,482
that we're just not getting.
184
00:06:58,965 --> 00:07:00,862
Other people do it,
I mean, look at that!
185
00:07:01,241 --> 00:07:03,103
"Eat Barnacle Chips,
they're delicious."
186
00:07:03,413 --> 00:07:05,620
They are most certainly
not delicious!
187
00:07:05,896 --> 00:07:07,517
Not the way I use them.
188
00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:09,379
Yet they sell
millions of bags a day.
189
00:07:09,758 --> 00:07:11,518
Well, maybe if they
didn't stretch the truth,
190
00:07:11,793 --> 00:07:13,344
they wouldn't sell as many.
191
00:07:13,586 --> 00:07:15,068
That's it, Patrick!
192
00:07:15,172 --> 00:07:16,586
We've got to stretch the truth!
193
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:19,068
Chocolate!
194
00:07:19,862 --> 00:07:20,862
We'll work as a team.
195
00:07:21,137 --> 00:07:22,793
Let me get this customer
warmed up
196
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,931
and then you come in
for the kill.
197
00:07:25,034 --> 00:07:26,448
The kill.
198
00:07:28,551 --> 00:07:29,620
Yes?
199
00:07:29,896 --> 00:07:31,724
Hello, young lady.
200
00:07:33,344 --> 00:07:35,000
We're selling chocolate.
201
00:07:35,103 --> 00:07:37,482
Is your mother home?
202
00:07:37,586 --> 00:07:39,379
Mom!
203
00:07:39,965 --> 00:07:41,103
What? What?
204
00:07:41,206 --> 00:07:42,517
What's all that yelling?
205
00:07:43,275 --> 00:07:44,448
You just can't wait
206
00:07:44,724 --> 00:07:46,655
for me to die, can you?
207
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,517
They're selling chocolate.
208
00:07:48,793 --> 00:07:50,103
- Chocolate?
- Yeah!
209
00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:51,551
What? What are
they selling?
210
00:07:51,827 --> 00:07:52,965
Chocolates!
211
00:07:53,068 --> 00:07:54,620
What? Chocolates!
212
00:07:54,896 --> 00:07:56,034
I can't hear you!
213
00:07:56,137 --> 00:07:57,586
They're selling chocolates!
214
00:07:57,827 --> 00:07:58,867
They're selling chocolate?
215
00:07:59,034 --> 00:08:00,034
Yeah!
216
00:08:00,103 --> 00:08:02,103
Chocolate?
217
00:08:02,206 --> 00:08:04,724
I remember when they first
invented chocolate.
218
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,551
Sweet, sweet chocolate.
219
00:08:07,827 --> 00:08:09,413
I always hated it!
220
00:08:09,758 --> 00:08:12,241
Oh, but this chocolate's
not for eating.
221
00:08:12,517 --> 00:08:13,862
It's for...
222
00:08:14,137 --> 00:08:15,586
You rub it on your skin
223
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,206
and it makes you live forever!
224
00:08:17,482 --> 00:08:18,931
No, no, no...
225
00:08:19,206 --> 00:08:20,620
Live forever, you say?
226
00:08:20,896 --> 00:08:22,000
I'll take one.
227
00:08:24,241 --> 00:08:25,827
Come on, you lazy Mary.
228
00:08:26,103 --> 00:08:28,620
Start rubbing me
with that chocolate!
229
00:08:28,827 --> 00:08:31,137
I hate you.
230
00:08:31,241 --> 00:08:33,206
If we keep
exaggerating the truth,
231
00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:35,482
we'll be fancy-living
in no time!
232
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,862
Hooray for lying!
233
00:08:38,206 --> 00:08:39,862
It'll make your hair grow.
234
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:41,482
Great!
235
00:08:41,586 --> 00:08:43,000
My wife's trying
to grow a beard.
236
00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:44,320
It'll make you sound smart.
237
00:08:44,344 --> 00:08:46,137
I'll take 20!
238
00:08:46,517 --> 00:08:48,896
It'll keep your face
from getting any uglier.
239
00:08:49,103 --> 00:08:50,103
Just in time.
240
00:08:50,344 --> 00:08:51,655
They make you fly.
241
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,206
You'll fall in love.
242
00:08:53,310 --> 00:08:54,689
They'll bring world peace!
243
00:08:54,931 --> 00:08:56,103
You'll walk through walls!
244
00:08:56,206 --> 00:08:57,517
You'll rule the world!
245
00:09:02,413 --> 00:09:04,827
This'll be the best lie yet!
246
00:09:05,103 --> 00:09:06,482
Yeah!
247
00:09:06,586 --> 00:09:07,965
This guy will feel
so sorry for us,
248
00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:09,655
he'll have to buy
all of our chocolate!
249
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,517
What can I do for you boys?
250
00:09:12,862 --> 00:09:14,622
Hello, would you like
to buy a chocolate bar?
251
00:09:14,793 --> 00:09:15,965
We need an operation.
252
00:09:16,241 --> 00:09:17,448
Really?
253
00:09:17,551 --> 00:09:18,827
Small world.
254
00:09:19,068 --> 00:09:20,448
What's the matter with you guys?
255
00:09:20,551 --> 00:09:22,103
Uh...
256
00:09:22,206 --> 00:09:24,241
We've got some head trauma
and eternal bleeding.
257
00:09:24,344 --> 00:09:26,793
Some guys have all the luck.
258
00:09:27,241 --> 00:09:30,034
I was born with glass bones
and paper skin.
259
00:09:30,379 --> 00:09:32,206
Every morning I break my legs
260
00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:34,034
and every afternoon
I break my arms.
261
00:09:34,310 --> 00:09:36,241
At night I lie awake in agony
262
00:09:36,344 --> 00:09:38,724
until my heart attacks
put me to sleep.
263
00:09:38,965 --> 00:09:39,965
Oh, no!
264
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,517
Ow.
265
00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:49,860
Quick, Patrick, let's help him.
266
00:09:49,931 --> 00:09:50,931
Careful.
267
00:09:51,172 --> 00:09:52,172
Put him down gently.
268
00:09:53,517 --> 00:09:54,551
Ow...
269
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:56,344
Poor, poor man.
270
00:09:56,448 --> 00:09:58,206
If there's anything... anything...
271
00:09:58,482 --> 00:09:59,793
We can do to help you...
272
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:01,586
There is one thing.
273
00:10:01,793 --> 00:10:03,241
As you can well imagine,
274
00:10:03,586 --> 00:10:05,241
my medical bills
are extremely high,
275
00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:07,689
but luckily I'm able
to keep myself alive
276
00:10:07,931 --> 00:10:10,896
by selling... chocolate bars.
277
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,620
Such nice boys.
278
00:10:16,896 --> 00:10:19,000
It does my heart good...
279
00:10:19,413 --> 00:10:23,620
to con a couple of class-A
sucker-roonies like those two!
280
00:10:25,965 --> 00:10:28,758
Don't get me wrong, Patrick,
281
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,758
it's great that
we helped him out,
282
00:10:30,862 --> 00:10:34,586
but there's no one left in town
to sell chocolate bars to.
283
00:10:34,689 --> 00:10:35,758
Whoa!
284
00:10:37,655 --> 00:10:40,620
Let's face it, Patrick,
we're failures.
285
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,482
I can live with that.
286
00:10:43,724 --> 00:10:46,344
Let's change our names
to "Why" and "Bother."
287
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,896
Chocolate!
288
00:10:50,206 --> 00:10:52,241
No, no, don't
hurt us!
Please...
289
00:10:56,793 --> 00:10:58,275
Finally!
290
00:10:58,379 --> 00:11:01,137
I've been trying to catch
you boys all day!
291
00:11:01,551 --> 00:11:04,310
Now that I've got you
right where I want you...
292
00:11:04,689 --> 00:11:06,379
I'd like to buy
all your chocolate.
293
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,310
Thank you for your patronage.
294
00:11:16,689 --> 00:11:19,793
Are we living the fancy life
yet, SpongeBob?
295
00:11:20,034 --> 00:11:21,448
Not yet, pally.
296
00:11:21,551 --> 00:11:23,241
First we got to spend
all the money.
297
00:11:23,344 --> 00:11:24,931
But what are we going
to spend it on?
298
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:26,827
Hmm...
299
00:11:29,931 --> 00:11:31,000
Good evening, sir.
300
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:32,827
Table for one, please.
301
00:11:32,931 --> 00:11:34,965
Sorry, but the whole restaurant
has been rented
302
00:11:35,241 --> 00:11:36,517
to a private party.
303
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:38,689
But it's my only night
to be fancy!
304
00:11:39,103 --> 00:11:41,413
Oh, who could afford to rent out
the whole restaurant?
305
00:11:41,862 --> 00:11:45,068
Oh, a couple of
rich entrepreneurs
and their dates.
306
00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:50,482
So, how long have
you two ladies
known each other?
307
00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:51,620
What?
308
00:11:51,896 --> 00:11:52,896
What did he say?
309
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:11,448
In a familiar restaurant
in a familiar part of town,
310
00:12:11,551 --> 00:12:13,862
a call goes out in frustration.
311
00:12:14,137 --> 00:12:15,931
Will you hurry up?!
312
00:12:16,034 --> 00:12:18,068
A call that would
normally be answered
313
00:12:18,413 --> 00:12:20,448
by Bikini Bottom's
semiretired champions...
314
00:12:20,551 --> 00:12:23,862
If they weren't the ones
causing the problem.
315
00:12:24,137 --> 00:12:25,206
Now, let's see.
316
00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:27,655
I want a... no...
317
00:12:27,896 --> 00:12:30,758
I want a... uh...
318
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,034
Uh, no... uh... hmm.
319
00:12:33,344 --> 00:12:35,275
Sir, will you please
order already?
320
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:37,517
You're holding up the line.
321
00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:38,827
Uh...
322
00:12:38,931 --> 00:12:42,344
Psst... hey, Mermaidman,
get a Krabby Patty.
323
00:12:42,448 --> 00:12:44,862
I've made my decision!
324
00:12:46,965 --> 00:12:48,448
One Krabby Patty for me
325
00:12:48,758 --> 00:12:50,862
and a Pip-squeak Patty
for the boy.
326
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:52,965
Now, wait just a darn minute.
327
00:12:55,344 --> 00:12:57,344
I don't want a Pip-squeak Patty!
328
00:12:57,448 --> 00:12:59,931
I want an adult-sized
Krabby Patty!
329
00:13:00,241 --> 00:13:02,655
The Krabby Patty
is too big for you.
330
00:13:02,931 --> 00:13:04,448
You'll never finish it.
331
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,172
Don't you see what you're doing?
332
00:13:06,448 --> 00:13:08,137
You're treating me like a child!
333
00:13:08,482 --> 00:13:10,275
The boy's eyes are bigger
than his stomach!
334
00:13:12,241 --> 00:13:13,241
And that's another thing!
335
00:13:13,344 --> 00:13:14,482
I'm not a boy!
336
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,448
I'm so old I've got hairs
337
00:13:16,551 --> 00:13:18,586
growing out of the wrinkles
on my liver spots!
338
00:13:20,379 --> 00:13:22,448
One Pip-squeak Patty...
339
00:13:22,724 --> 00:13:25,275
And your bib and high chair.
340
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:32,000
I'm 68 years old
and I want a Krabby Patty!
341
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:34,275
Your Pip-squeak is getting cold.
342
00:13:34,551 --> 00:13:35,862
Shall I feed you?
343
00:13:36,103 --> 00:13:37,310
Feed this, old man!
344
00:13:37,413 --> 00:13:39,448
Ooh!
345
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,896
I'm tired of playing
second banana
346
00:13:42,137 --> 00:13:43,793
to a man who wears a bra!
347
00:13:43,896 --> 00:13:47,137
From now on, I want
to be called Barnacleman!
348
00:13:47,482 --> 00:13:50,448
And I'm through with
protecting citizens
349
00:13:50,551 --> 00:13:51,965
that don't respect me!
350
00:13:52,241 --> 00:13:53,896
I respect you, Barnacleman!
351
00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:56,758
That's Barnacleboy, I...!
352
00:13:57,034 --> 00:13:58,034
I mean man!
353
00:13:58,172 --> 00:13:59,310
Oh...
354
00:13:59,413 --> 00:14:00,827
Forget you people.
355
00:14:00,931 --> 00:14:02,758
I say if you're not
going to give me
356
00:14:03,034 --> 00:14:04,517
any respect as a hero,
357
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:07,551
then maybe you'll give me
respect as a villain.
358
00:14:07,655 --> 00:14:11,551
A villain who is... evil.
359
00:14:11,827 --> 00:14:13,103
Evil?
360
00:14:13,379 --> 00:14:14,586
Evil?
361
00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:18,413
Evil!
362
00:14:18,517 --> 00:14:22,655
I'm crossing over
to the dark side.
363
00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:26,482
I should waste money
lighting the whole store?
364
00:14:31,482 --> 00:14:33,379
Did someone say "evil"?
365
00:14:33,482 --> 00:14:35,551
Holy oil spill!
366
00:14:35,655 --> 00:14:38,034
It's Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy's
arch enemies,
367
00:14:38,137 --> 00:14:39,551
Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble!
368
00:14:39,827 --> 00:14:42,448
Nighty-night, you old goat!
369
00:14:45,482 --> 00:14:47,137
Nighty-night.
370
00:14:47,413 --> 00:14:49,275
Will you tuck me in?
371
00:14:49,379 --> 00:14:51,310
We interrupt
your bleak and meaningless lives
372
00:14:51,551 --> 00:14:53,931
for this special news break.
373
00:14:54,206 --> 00:14:56,724
Man Ray...
374
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,896
the Dirty Bubble...
375
00:15:01,241 --> 00:15:04,068
And now, playing for
the dark side, Barnacleboy...
376
00:15:04,344 --> 00:15:06,551
Barnacleman!
377
00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:09,448
Have been committing a series of
crimes throughout Bikini Bottom.
378
00:15:12,965 --> 00:15:14,275
Shh!
379
00:15:16,586 --> 00:15:18,896
I'll get you crazy kids!
380
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,720
These three have named
their new alliance...
381
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,413
otherwise known as EVIL!
382
00:15:27,689 --> 00:15:29,310
What can we do?
383
00:15:29,551 --> 00:15:31,586
When will this crime wave end?
384
00:15:31,689 --> 00:15:33,689
How will we defeat the EVIL?
385
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:37,206
Why am I asking you
all these questions?
386
00:15:37,448 --> 00:15:40,689
Mermaidman, where are you?
387
00:15:42,413 --> 00:15:43,413
I'm right here!
388
00:15:43,758 --> 00:15:46,344
Don't worry, good citizens,
389
00:15:46,689 --> 00:15:52,137
nothing will stop me
from defeating the EVIL!
390
00:15:52,413 --> 00:15:54,379
Nothing!
391
00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:57,689
Ice cream?
392
00:15:58,379 --> 00:16:00,275
I love ice cream!
393
00:16:00,724 --> 00:16:04,655
A double scoop of prune
with bran sprinkles.
394
00:16:04,758 --> 00:16:05,758
Mmm!
395
00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:12,724
Goes right through me
every time.
396
00:16:13,034 --> 00:16:15,344
You might as well
give up, Mermaidman.
397
00:16:15,689 --> 00:16:17,965
There's three of us
and only one of you.
398
00:16:18,206 --> 00:16:19,482
You don't stand a chance.
399
00:16:21,172 --> 00:16:22,551
Are you okay, Mermaidman?
400
00:16:22,862 --> 00:16:24,586
Oh, how are you going to beat
401
00:16:24,689 --> 00:16:26,206
all three of those guys
by yourself?
402
00:16:26,482 --> 00:16:27,482
You're right.
403
00:16:27,517 --> 00:16:28,793
I give up.
404
00:16:29,103 --> 00:16:30,241
You can't give up.
405
00:16:30,517 --> 00:16:31,758
What if we help you?
406
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,586
No, no, that's a terrible idea.
407
00:16:33,689 --> 00:16:36,724
But what if you help me?
408
00:16:36,827 --> 00:16:38,172
Okay.
409
00:16:38,275 --> 00:16:41,448
So, who wants to save the world?
410
00:16:41,551 --> 00:16:42,620
I do!
411
00:16:42,862 --> 00:16:43,931
I do!
412
00:16:44,034 --> 00:16:45,068
I do!
413
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,206
I don't.
414
00:16:46,482 --> 00:16:47,793
Oh, yes, you do.
415
00:16:47,896 --> 00:16:49,551
No world means no money.
416
00:16:49,827 --> 00:16:52,241
Now, go save the world
or you're fired!
417
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:55,827
Then it's settled!
418
00:16:56,103 --> 00:16:58,137
To the Mermalair!
419
00:16:58,862 --> 00:17:00,103
Wow!
420
00:17:00,379 --> 00:17:02,275
The Mermalair.
421
00:17:02,379 --> 00:17:05,413
These costumes belonged
to the original
422
00:17:05,862 --> 00:17:09,103
International Justice League
of Super Acquaintances!
423
00:17:09,517 --> 00:17:13,620
Wow! The I.J.L.S.A. were
the most heroic heroes ever!
424
00:17:13,724 --> 00:17:15,379
And you had
the best lunch box, too.
425
00:17:15,931 --> 00:17:17,724
Once you put on these costumes,
426
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:21,931
their fantastic powers
will become yours!
427
00:17:22,310 --> 00:17:25,689
Wow... I didn't think
super-powers worked that way.
428
00:17:25,931 --> 00:17:27,241
Sure.
429
00:17:27,344 --> 00:17:28,965
Power's all in the costume.
430
00:17:29,344 --> 00:17:31,689
Why else would we run around
in colored undies?
431
00:17:31,793 --> 00:17:34,379
I can think of
three good reasons.
432
00:17:34,655 --> 00:17:36,517
The Quickster...
433
00:17:36,862 --> 00:17:40,517
With the uncanny ability
to run really... quick!
434
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:43,172
Want to see me run
to that mountain and back?
435
00:17:43,448 --> 00:17:45,241
You want to see me do it again?
436
00:17:45,517 --> 00:17:46,931
Captain Magma...
437
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,896
Get him angry
and he's bound to erupt!
438
00:17:50,172 --> 00:17:51,620
Krakatoa!
439
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,793
The Elastic Waistband...
440
00:17:58,241 --> 00:18:01,689
Able to stretch his body
into fantastic shapes and forms!
441
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:05,620
I can finally touch my toes!
442
00:18:05,724 --> 00:18:10,482
And Miss Appear...
Now you see her, now you don't!
443
00:18:10,827 --> 00:18:12,965
Does this outfit
make me look fat?
444
00:18:13,482 --> 00:18:16,586
The International Justice League
of Super Acquaintances!
445
00:18:16,689 --> 00:18:18,689
A subsidiary of Viacom.
446
00:18:19,655 --> 00:18:20,655
So, it's agreed...
447
00:18:20,793 --> 00:18:22,413
We'll get one cheese pizza,
448
00:18:22,517 --> 00:18:25,482
one with pepperoni and
mushrooms, and one with olives.
449
00:18:25,827 --> 00:18:28,206
Super Acquaintances,
we need your help.
450
00:18:28,448 --> 00:18:30,000
Holy halibut... it's the Chief!
451
00:18:30,344 --> 00:18:32,758
Thank you
for the introduction, Quickster,
452
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,896
but we all know who Iam.
453
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:39,034
More to the point, we've got
news on the whereabouts of EVIL.
454
00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:40,793
The whoseabouts of what?
455
00:18:40,896 --> 00:18:43,172
You just tell us
where they are, Chief,
456
00:18:43,275 --> 00:18:46,241
and we'll hog-tie them faster
than you can say "salsa verde."
457
00:18:46,482 --> 00:18:48,068
Our sources last saw EVIL
458
00:18:48,379 --> 00:18:50,586
harassing teenagers
up at Make-Out Reef.
459
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,793
You know, Make-Out Reef.
460
00:18:57,482 --> 00:18:59,448
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
461
00:18:59,793 --> 00:19:02,137
Floppin' flounder, Mermaidman...
Make-Out Reef!
462
00:19:02,413 --> 00:19:03,931
Those fiends!
463
00:19:04,034 --> 00:19:06,586
Attacking hormonally
stressed-out children!
464
00:19:06,862 --> 00:19:08,724
Ahh... Make-Out Reef.
465
00:19:08,827 --> 00:19:11,413
Good times, good times.
466
00:19:11,655 --> 00:19:14,206
To Make-Out Reef!
467
00:19:14,448 --> 00:19:16,517
Away!
468
00:19:16,896 --> 00:19:19,137
Does this mean
we're not getting pizza?
469
00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:22,862
Stop it!
Leave us alone!
470
00:19:22,965 --> 00:19:25,206
Please, stop!
Please!
471
00:19:25,310 --> 00:19:28,689
John and Nancy sitting
in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
472
00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:31,862
Oh, shine the flashlight
in that car, Man Ray!
473
00:19:33,413 --> 00:19:34,655
With pleasure.
474
00:19:36,448 --> 00:19:37,655
Hey, man, that's not cool.
475
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,413
Leave those young lovers alone!
476
00:19:42,758 --> 00:19:45,724
Well, if it isn't Milkmaid Man.
477
00:19:45,827 --> 00:19:47,517
You've saved us the trouble
478
00:19:47,758 --> 00:19:48,758
of tracking you down.
479
00:19:49,034 --> 00:19:50,724
You fiends can't win!
480
00:19:50,827 --> 00:19:52,758
You're outnumbered!
481
00:19:52,862 --> 00:19:54,758
You senile bag of fish paste!
482
00:19:55,137 --> 00:19:58,689
There are three of us
and only one of you!
483
00:19:58,793 --> 00:20:00,689
Make that two!
484
00:20:00,793 --> 00:20:02,241
The Quickster!
485
00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:06,172
Three!
486
00:20:06,448 --> 00:20:08,206
Captain Magma!
487
00:20:10,482 --> 00:20:11,482
Four!
488
00:20:11,517 --> 00:20:12,517
The Elastic Waistband!
489
00:20:14,241 --> 00:20:15,827
Five!
490
00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:17,172
M-M-Miss Appear?!
491
00:20:17,413 --> 00:20:20,931
And me makes ten, I think.
492
00:20:21,034 --> 00:20:22,448
Uh-oh.
493
00:20:22,551 --> 00:20:23,896
I don't feel so good about this.
494
00:20:24,172 --> 00:20:26,586
Oh, there goes our toy deal.
495
00:20:26,862 --> 00:20:32,103
Super Acquaintances, attack!
496
00:20:32,344 --> 00:20:33,344
Oh, no!
497
00:20:33,586 --> 00:20:34,586
Please, mercy!
498
00:20:34,724 --> 00:20:36,517
Krakatoa!
499
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,724
Get it off, get it off!
500
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:45,655
Get it off! Get it off!
Get it off!
501
00:20:45,758 --> 00:20:47,241
I'll save you, Quickster!
502
00:20:47,517 --> 00:20:48,517
What...?
503
00:20:50,137 --> 00:20:51,724
Whoa!
504
00:20:53,413 --> 00:20:55,206
Whoa...!
505
00:20:59,137 --> 00:21:04,068
I'll cool you off, Quickster,
with one of my water balls!
506
00:21:04,379 --> 00:21:05,448
Uh... ah...
507
00:21:05,551 --> 00:21:07,310
Uh... ah... uh... ah...
508
00:21:07,551 --> 00:21:08,551
Ah-ha!
509
00:21:08,689 --> 00:21:09,689
Huh?
510
00:21:09,793 --> 00:21:11,068
No-no, no-no!
511
00:21:11,379 --> 00:21:12,448
I'm not the Quickster,
512
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:13,758
I'm Captain Mag... ma.
513
00:21:16,137 --> 00:21:18,965
Well, I guess it's up to me.
514
00:21:20,448 --> 00:21:23,689
I'll just sneak over, unseen,
and catch them by surprise.
515
00:21:33,172 --> 00:21:34,413
Get it off!
516
00:21:34,689 --> 00:21:35,689
Get it off! Get it off!
517
00:21:42,862 --> 00:21:43,965
Whew, glad that's over.
518
00:21:50,896 --> 00:21:52,931
We... we did it, we won.
519
00:21:53,206 --> 00:21:56,482
This day belongs to EVIL!
520
00:22:00,724 --> 00:22:02,586
You've lost, Mermaidman.
521
00:22:02,931 --> 00:22:05,517
And the superhero-
super-villain rules say
522
00:22:05,793 --> 00:22:08,862
you have to give in
to my demands.
523
00:22:08,965 --> 00:22:11,379
Okay, what do you want?
524
00:22:11,620 --> 00:22:13,034
World domination!
525
00:22:13,137 --> 00:22:14,758
Tell him we want
world domination!
526
00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:17,379
Oh, and make him eat dirt!
527
00:22:18,448 --> 00:22:20,344
In addition to the
domination thing.
528
00:22:20,724 --> 00:22:23,862
Number one: I want to be
treated like a superhero,
529
00:22:24,137 --> 00:22:25,931
not a sidekick.
530
00:22:26,034 --> 00:22:29,482
Number two: I want
to be called Barnacleman.
531
00:22:29,724 --> 00:22:30,827
And number three...
532
00:22:30,931 --> 00:22:33,344
Come on, domination.
533
00:22:33,793 --> 00:22:35,862
I want an adult-sized
Krabby Patty.
534
00:22:35,965 --> 00:22:37,482
Did you hear him say
535
00:22:37,758 --> 00:22:38,838
anything about eating dirt?
536
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,827
Need a hand?
537
00:22:40,931 --> 00:22:42,310
Super pal?
538
00:22:49,103 --> 00:22:52,793
Good to have you
back on the side
of justice, Kyle.
539
00:22:53,103 --> 00:22:55,655
Let's go get you
that Krabby Patty.
540
00:22:55,931 --> 00:22:57,482
Was that it?
541
00:22:57,724 --> 00:22:58,965
I feel sick.
542
00:22:59,068 --> 00:23:00,827
Oh, this reminds me of the time
543
00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:02,732
I went to Cancún with
the Killer Shrimp.
544
00:23:02,896 --> 00:23:04,655
Oh, they had these
papaya drinks...
545
00:23:04,931 --> 00:23:07,137
Oh, Neptune, shut up!
546
00:23:09,344 --> 00:23:11,034
Mmm.
547
00:23:11,137 --> 00:23:13,862
How's that adult-sized
Krabby Patty
548
00:23:14,068 --> 00:23:15,310
treating you,
549
00:23:15,551 --> 00:23:17,758
Barnacle... man?
550
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,827
Actually, it's pretty big.
551
00:23:20,172 --> 00:23:22,517
I'm not sure I can
finish the whole thing.
552
00:23:48,551 --> 00:23:50,172
And NICKELODEON
553
00:24:20,689 --> 00:24:24,275
Captioned by
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