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?Are you ready, kids
2
00:00:10,034 --> 00:00:11,482
:KIDS
!Aye, aye, Captain
3
00:00:11,517 --> 00:00:13,000
.I can't hear you
4
00:00:13,034 --> 00:00:14,965
:KIDS
!Aye, aye, Captain
5
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,034
♪ !Ooh
6
00:00:18,068 --> 00:00:20,068
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
?under the sea ♪
7
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♪ !Spongebob Squarepants♪
8
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♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪
9
00:00:24,034 --> 00:00:25,793
♪ Spongebob
!Squarepants♪
10
00:00:25,827 --> 00:00:28,103
♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪
11
00:00:28,137 --> 00:00:30,172
♪ !Spongebob Squarepants♪
12
00:00:30,206 --> 00:00:32,344
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪
13
00:00:32,379 --> 00:00:34,344
♪ ?Spongebob Squarepants!♪ready
14
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♪ !Spongebob Squarepants
15
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♪ !Spongebob Squarepants
16
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♪ !Spongebob Squarepants
17
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♪ !Spongebob Squarepants
18
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[hearty laughter ]
19
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[flute playing ]
20
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:55,965
Captioning sponsored by THE]
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
21
00:00:56,206 --> 00:00:59,620
[and NICKELODEON
22
00:01:02,034 --> 00:01:03,448
[bell ringing ]
23
00:01:03,482 --> 00:01:06,172
:MRS. PUFF
.Okay, class, quiet, quiet
24
00:01:06,206 --> 00:01:08,137
Now, get out your
pencils and paper
25
00:01:08,172 --> 00:01:09,827
and write down
.the assignment
26
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:10,827
[class groans ]
27
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,172
?Did you hear that
28
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,172
.We get an assignment
29
00:01:14,206 --> 00:01:17,724
Everyone must write an essay
on what notto do
30
00:01:17,758 --> 00:01:18,724
.at a stoplight
31
00:01:18,758 --> 00:01:19,724
[all groaning ]
32
00:01:19,758 --> 00:01:21,137
?Did you hear that
33
00:01:21,172 --> 00:01:23,724
What not to do
!at a stoplight
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00:01:23,758 --> 00:01:25,517
!In no less than 800 words
35
00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:27,034
[squeal of delight ]
36
00:01:27,068 --> 00:01:28,172
[all groaning ]
37
00:01:28,206 --> 00:01:29,931
?Did you hear that
!?800 words
38
00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:32,931
!Yeah, I know
39
00:01:32,965 --> 00:01:34,551
.Due tomorrow
40
00:01:34,586 --> 00:01:39,482
:And remember, class
.work hard and no goofing off
41
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:SPONGEBOB
!Okay, Gary, no goofing off
42
00:01:42,551 --> 00:01:44,793
I am about to write
the greatest essay
43
00:01:44,827 --> 00:01:45,896
.of all time
44
00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:48,137
,Like most great essays
it will be written
45
00:01:48,172 --> 00:01:50,034
.on paper
46
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,931
Even more important
...than the paper is
47
00:01:51,965 --> 00:01:54,137
.the pencil
48
00:01:54,172 --> 00:01:56,000
[bell dings ]
49
00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:58,793
A pencil is sharp or as dull
.as I like
50
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:01,103
,Hmm, funny, as my ideas grow
.you shrink
51
00:02:01,137 --> 00:02:03,241
[chuckles ]
52
00:02:03,275 --> 00:02:05,689
Well, I couldn't have asked
53
00:02:05,724 --> 00:02:07,793
for a more beautiful day
.to write an essay
54
00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:08,793
[birds chirping ]
55
00:02:08,827 --> 00:02:11,517
.Okay, here we go
56
00:02:11,551 --> 00:02:16,724
What Not To Do"
".At A Stoplight
57
00:02:16,758 --> 00:02:17,551
.Hey, this is easy
58
00:02:17,586 --> 00:02:20,862
".By SpongeBob Squarepants"
59
00:02:20,896 --> 00:02:22,862
.Ha! This essay is pure gold
60
00:02:22,896 --> 00:02:26,103
,And now, pencil
get ready to do your stuff
61
00:02:26,137 --> 00:02:28,379
.because herewe go
62
00:02:28,413 --> 00:02:30,275
[ticking ]
63
00:02:41,689 --> 00:02:42,931
...Gee
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00:02:42,965 --> 00:02:45,310
.this is harder than I thought
65
00:02:47,241 --> 00:02:51,551
[ children laughing ]
66
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,827
!Come on, SpongeBob
67
00:02:58,103 --> 00:03:01,310
It should be against the law
to have to write an essay
68
00:03:01,344 --> 00:03:05,517
,on such a super sailorific
!sunshiny day
69
00:03:05,551 --> 00:03:06,448
!Oh
70
00:03:06,482 --> 00:03:08,034
,But I must press onward
71
00:03:08,068 --> 00:03:11,517
because with this pencil and the
,completion of this essay
72
00:03:11,551 --> 00:03:15,448
I'll be one step closer
!to my driver's license
73
00:03:16,137 --> 00:03:19,758
[ tires squealing ]
74
00:03:24,344 --> 00:03:27,206
.Oh, yeah
75
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:29,551
.This'll be no problemo
76
00:03:29,586 --> 00:03:32,931
.Why, I got plenty of time
.It's only 6:00
77
00:03:32,965 --> 00:03:34,034
[ ticking ]
78
00:03:34,068 --> 00:03:36,862
.Okay... okay, here we go
79
00:03:36,896 --> 00:03:38,517
.Here we go
80
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:39,862
!Ahh
81
00:03:39,896 --> 00:03:41,448
I know, I just need to get
82
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:44,068
a little blood pumpin'
.in the old noodle
83
00:03:44,103 --> 00:03:45,724
?How about some calisthenics
84
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:49,827
!Hup-hoo! Hup-hoo
!Hup-hoo! Hup-hoo
85
00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:54,758
!Hup-hoo! Hup-hoo
!Hup-hoo! Hup-hoo
86
00:03:54,793 --> 00:03:57,793
!Hup-hoo! Hup-hoo
!Hup-hoo! Hup-hoo
87
00:03:57,827 --> 00:04:01,068
Ah, I can feel
!those juices pumpin' now
88
00:04:01,103 --> 00:04:03,482
[squeak ]
89
00:04:03,517 --> 00:04:06,724
[singsong squeaking ]
90
00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:15,827
[rhythmic squeaking ]
91
00:04:17,517 --> 00:04:19,517
[gurgling laughter ]
92
00:04:20,965 --> 00:04:22,379
!?Hey! What am I doing
93
00:04:22,413 --> 00:04:24,068
!I got to write that paper
94
00:04:24,103 --> 00:04:25,551
[grunting ]
95
00:04:25,586 --> 00:04:28,965
.Come on, pencil, make words
96
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,068
[meow ]
97
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,172
!Gary
98
00:04:31,206 --> 00:04:32,413
Hey, hey, hey
99
00:04:32,448 --> 00:04:35,620
?Gary, how's my favorite mollusk
100
00:04:35,655 --> 00:04:37,206
How about
you let ol' SpongeBob
101
00:04:37,241 --> 00:04:38,896
fix you up
?something to eat
102
00:04:38,931 --> 00:04:39,896
[meows ]
103
00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:42,068
,What do you mean
?you're not hungry
104
00:04:42,103 --> 00:04:43,517
[meows ]
105
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:46,103
I know I have
!an essay to write
106
00:04:46,137 --> 00:04:47,965
!Now come on, Gary
107
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,482
[grunts ]
108
00:04:56,620 --> 00:04:58,551
I got to make sure
you get your nutrition
109
00:04:58,586 --> 00:05:02,275
so I'm not leaving
.until you eat every single bite
110
00:05:02,310 --> 00:05:03,275
[loud chomp, gulp ]
111
00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:04,551
[burps ]
112
00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:07,241
[squishy slithering ]
113
00:05:07,275 --> 00:05:09,000
Gary, a-are you sure
you don't want
114
00:05:09,034 --> 00:05:10,448
?some crème brulée
115
00:05:10,482 --> 00:05:12,000
Or-or some chocoflavored
?algae bits
116
00:05:12,034 --> 00:05:13,586
[squishes ]
117
00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:15,241
.Gee, Gary sure made a mess
118
00:05:15,275 --> 00:05:17,000
I can't work on my essay
119
00:05:17,034 --> 00:05:19,482
knowing there's a mess
.in the kitchen
120
00:05:22,448 --> 00:05:23,655
[squeaking ]
121
00:05:23,689 --> 00:05:25,724
...Hmm
122
00:05:27,551 --> 00:05:28,827
I might as well clean
the rest of the floor
123
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,551
.while I'm at it
124
00:05:30,586 --> 00:05:33,724
[squeaking and whistling ]
125
00:05:33,758 --> 00:05:36,586
:[groaning ]
I should get
.these hard-to-reach places, too
126
00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:38,206
And these dishes
.need to be cleaned
127
00:05:38,241 --> 00:05:41,103
.Can't have dirty garbage
128
00:05:41,137 --> 00:05:42,586
[clinking ]
129
00:05:42,620 --> 00:05:45,172
Well, I think
.it's clean enough now
130
00:05:45,206 --> 00:05:47,793
[bell tinkling ]
131
00:05:47,827 --> 00:05:49,724
.Why, that didn't take too long
...It's only
132
00:05:49,758 --> 00:05:51,862
!10:00
133
00:05:51,896 --> 00:05:52,724
!Oh
134
00:05:52,758 --> 00:05:55,172
.No more fooling around
135
00:05:55,206 --> 00:05:56,931
.I got to get back to work
136
00:05:56,965 --> 00:06:00,482
Okay, Mr. Essay, I say
137
00:06:00,517 --> 00:06:03,103
!prepare to be written
138
00:06:03,137 --> 00:06:05,103
[dive-bomber whooshing ]
139
00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:06,965
[loud thud ]
140
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,103
!I'm doing it
141
00:06:08,137 --> 00:06:09,103
!I'm doing it
142
00:06:09,137 --> 00:06:11,517
!Yeah, yeah! Yeah
143
00:06:11,551 --> 00:06:13,103
...And some of these
...and some of these
144
00:06:13,137 --> 00:06:16,172
...Almost there and
145
00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:17,896
.sizzling]...done ]
146
00:06:17,931 --> 00:06:18,827
[sighs ]
147
00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:21,724
Now let's see
.how it looks so far
148
00:06:21,758 --> 00:06:22,896
"...The"
149
00:06:24,241 --> 00:06:25,482
!Break time
150
00:06:25,517 --> 00:06:28,206
.Pacing always helps me think
151
00:06:28,241 --> 00:06:31,068
.Let's see, only 799 words to go
152
00:06:31,103 --> 00:06:34,137
!Think, SpongeBob, think
153
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:40,000
[snorting ]
154
00:06:40,034 --> 00:06:41,655
[loud ringing ]
155
00:06:41,689 --> 00:06:43,241
:[gasping ]
!?W-Who's that
?Wha...? Hello
156
00:06:43,275 --> 00:06:45,000
?Hey, Patrick, what you up to
157
00:06:45,034 --> 00:06:47,172
.Sleeping
158
00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:49,206
.That's really fascinating
159
00:06:49,241 --> 00:06:50,551
?Are you having a good sleep
160
00:06:50,586 --> 00:06:52,206
Any dreams you'd like
?to discuss
161
00:06:52,241 --> 00:06:53,206
...I remember on the
162
00:06:53,241 --> 00:06:54,655
?SpongeBob
163
00:06:54,689 --> 00:06:57,137
You and I both know
that you're just using me
164
00:06:57,172 --> 00:06:58,586
as a distraction
165
00:06:58,620 --> 00:07:00,103
so you don't have to write
.your essay
166
00:07:00,137 --> 00:07:02,103
[gasping, stammering ]
167
00:07:02,137 --> 00:07:03,724
!That is nottrue
168
00:07:03,758 --> 00:07:07,275
I called to have an engaging
.conversation with you
169
00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:09,172
.Well, I'm listening
170
00:07:09,206 --> 00:07:11,206
...Uh... Marco
171
00:07:11,241 --> 00:07:12,241
.Polo
172
00:07:12,275 --> 00:07:13,689
[dial tone ]
173
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:15,517
,Yeah, well
.I got to get going, Patrick
174
00:07:15,551 --> 00:07:17,172
.Got an important essay to write
175
00:07:17,206 --> 00:07:19,275
.Sheesh, what a chatterbox
176
00:07:19,310 --> 00:07:21,206
?Can't he see that I'm busy
177
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,689
[chair squeaks ]
178
00:07:22,724 --> 00:07:25,068
I can't write
with all these eraser shavings
179
00:07:25,103 --> 00:07:26,068
.all over my paper
180
00:07:26,103 --> 00:07:27,827
[grunts ]
181
00:07:27,862 --> 00:07:30,068
Now they're floating
.around my thinking space
182
00:07:30,103 --> 00:07:32,206
[inhales deeply ]
183
00:07:32,241 --> 00:07:34,206
.So long, pesky particles
184
00:07:34,241 --> 00:07:35,448
[twittering squeaks ]
185
00:07:35,482 --> 00:07:36,724
[grunting ]
186
00:07:36,758 --> 00:07:38,103
[choking ]
187
00:07:38,137 --> 00:07:39,103
[gulps, gasps ]
188
00:07:39,137 --> 00:07:40,206
!I swallowed one
189
00:07:40,241 --> 00:07:41,827
!I'm choking
190
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,551
:[coughing ]
!Water
191
00:07:43,586 --> 00:07:45,241
!Water
192
00:07:45,482 --> 00:07:48,103
[frantic gulping ]
193
00:07:48,137 --> 00:07:49,482
[gasping ]
194
00:07:49,517 --> 00:07:51,172
.That was a close one
195
00:07:51,206 --> 00:07:52,206
[meows ]
196
00:07:52,241 --> 00:07:53,482
What do you mean
197
00:07:53,517 --> 00:07:55,586
,overly dramatic
?Gary
198
00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:58,068
All that choking
.sure made me hungry
199
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,482
[meows ]
200
00:07:59,517 --> 00:08:01,586
I can't write on an
.empty stomach, Gary
201
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,655
.I got to have my brain food
202
00:08:03,689 --> 00:08:07,172
...Now, let's see
?white or rye bread
203
00:08:07,206 --> 00:08:08,931
?Or pumpernickel
204
00:08:08,965 --> 00:08:11,103
Gee, I guess it really depends
...on the meat inside
205
00:08:11,137 --> 00:08:11,896
.and the cheese
206
00:08:11,931 --> 00:08:13,103
[doorbell rings ]
207
00:08:13,137 --> 00:08:14,931
?A visitor
208
00:08:14,965 --> 00:08:16,103
!?For me
209
00:08:16,137 --> 00:08:17,620
.Hello
210
00:08:17,655 --> 00:08:19,896
Package for
.Mr. Squarepants
211
00:08:19,931 --> 00:08:21,137
!Great
212
00:08:21,172 --> 00:08:22,655
!Thanks
213
00:08:22,689 --> 00:08:24,896
So, uh, you like
?delivering mail
214
00:08:24,931 --> 00:08:27,103
.It puts bread on the table
215
00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:28,172
?Rye or pumpernickel
216
00:08:28,206 --> 00:08:30,206
[obnoxious laughter ]
217
00:08:30,241 --> 00:08:31,068
.Oh, brother
218
00:08:31,103 --> 00:08:33,034
So, do you deliver
your own mail
219
00:08:33,068 --> 00:08:34,689
or do you have
?your own mailperson
220
00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:36,551
?But then who delivers hismail
221
00:08:36,586 --> 00:08:38,586
Is there a never-ending
chain of mailmen
222
00:08:38,620 --> 00:08:40,241
delivering mail
?to other mailmen
223
00:08:40,275 --> 00:08:41,586
Well, I guess a P.O. box
224
00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:43,620
,could, in theory
...break the chain
225
00:08:43,655 --> 00:08:45,103
Don't you have
?a paper to write
226
00:08:45,137 --> 00:08:46,758
[gulps ]
227
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:49,241
How did he know I'm supposed
?to be writing an essay
228
00:08:49,482 --> 00:08:52,620
[blipping ]
229
00:08:52,655 --> 00:08:53,758
[slams ]
230
00:08:53,793 --> 00:08:55,551
In other news
231
00:08:55,586 --> 00:08:58,655
local resident
SpongeBob Squarepants
232
00:08:58,689 --> 00:09:02,103
only has a few hours left
to complete his essay
233
00:09:02,137 --> 00:09:04,551
and yet he continues
.to goof off
234
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,827
?When will he learn
235
00:09:06,862 --> 00:09:08,275
[screaming ]
236
00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:09,310
[glass breaking ]
237
00:09:09,344 --> 00:09:10,620
[candle crackles ]
238
00:09:10,655 --> 00:09:12,724
:[male voice ]
.Hey, SpongeBob
239
00:09:12,758 --> 00:09:13,862
.Over here
240
00:09:13,896 --> 00:09:16,586
.Come on, take a seat
241
00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:20,344
.Put your feet up and relax
242
00:09:20,586 --> 00:09:21,931
[bell chiming, gasping ]
243
00:09:24,068 --> 00:09:25,103
!Oh, no
244
00:09:25,137 --> 00:09:26,310
!Midnight
245
00:09:26,551 --> 00:09:28,206
[panting heavily ]
246
00:09:28,241 --> 00:09:29,344
[alarms ringing ]
247
00:09:29,586 --> 00:09:32,000
!Must... get... back to desk
248
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,413
[yells ]
249
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:35,793
!Whew
250
00:09:35,827 --> 00:09:37,000
.That was a close call
251
00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:38,758
[screams ]
!My pants
252
00:09:38,793 --> 00:09:41,793
.Yoo-hoo
.Down here
253
00:09:41,827 --> 00:09:42,827
!You get up here
254
00:09:42,862 --> 00:09:44,620
!I got to get back to work
255
00:09:44,655 --> 00:09:45,620
!Freedom
256
00:09:45,655 --> 00:09:46,965
!Stop, pants
257
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,034
You get back here
...this instant
258
00:09:49,068 --> 00:09:50,275
!pants
259
00:09:50,517 --> 00:09:51,827
[slams ]
[yells ]
260
00:09:51,862 --> 00:09:53,413
[groaning ]
261
00:09:55,241 --> 00:09:56,034
[clattering ]
262
00:09:56,068 --> 00:10:01,034
.Time's... up... SpongeBob
263
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,034
[gasps ]
264
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,275
!Burning
265
00:10:03,517 --> 00:10:07,862
!Only 799 words to go
266
00:10:07,896 --> 00:10:10,137
[sinister laughter ]
267
00:10:10,172 --> 00:10:11,137
!No
268
00:10:11,172 --> 00:10:13,724
[screams ]
269
00:10:13,758 --> 00:10:14,931
!?What have I done
270
00:10:14,965 --> 00:10:16,034
!Help
271
00:10:16,068 --> 00:10:19,206
!Help, my house is on fire
272
00:10:19,241 --> 00:10:20,965
[jabbering ]
273
00:10:26,206 --> 00:10:27,482
[brakes squeal ]
274
00:10:27,517 --> 00:10:28,724
!?SpongeBob, why
275
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:31,379
Why did you set me
?on fire, SpongeBob
276
00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:33,827
Why didn't you just
!?write your essay
277
00:10:33,862 --> 00:10:36,137
!Stop wasting time
278
00:10:36,172 --> 00:10:38,068
[gasps ]
279
00:10:38,103 --> 00:10:38,862
[pops ]
280
00:10:38,896 --> 00:10:41,310
?Where's my essay
281
00:10:41,551 --> 00:10:43,172
.Oh, there you are
282
00:10:43,206 --> 00:10:43,965
[laughing ]
283
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,827
.I must have dozed off
284
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,862
?Let's see, where are we
285
00:10:49,103 --> 00:10:51,241
?Do I dare look at the clock
286
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:53,689
[creaking ]
287
00:10:53,724 --> 00:10:55,724
[ticking ]
288
00:10:55,758 --> 00:10:58,482
:[gasping ]
!It's almost 9:00
289
00:10:58,517 --> 00:10:59,586
!Class starts in five minutes
290
00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:02,344
How am I going to write
this whole paper
291
00:11:02,379 --> 00:11:03,931
!?in five minutes
292
00:11:03,965 --> 00:11:06,931
How am I supposed to know
?what not to do at a stoplight
293
00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:09,482
Feeding your snail
is something not to do
294
00:11:09,517 --> 00:11:10,793
...at a stoplight
295
00:11:10,827 --> 00:11:13,689
and making a sandwich
and-and lighting candles
296
00:11:13,724 --> 00:11:15,931
and drinking water
and calling your friends
297
00:11:15,965 --> 00:11:17,620
and karate chopping the TV
298
00:11:17,655 --> 00:11:19,862
and shooting the breeze
with the mailman
299
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:20,896
...and falling asleep and
300
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,758
[panting heavily ]
301
00:11:22,793 --> 00:11:24,517
!Mrs. Puff
302
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,896
!Mrs. Puff, I'm finished
303
00:11:26,931 --> 00:11:28,689
!All 800 words
304
00:11:28,724 --> 00:11:30,517
!I'm finished
!Here it is
305
00:11:30,551 --> 00:11:32,758
?They... Mrs. Puff
306
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,551
?Where is everybody
307
00:11:34,586 --> 00:11:36,517
,Oh, there you are
.SpongeBob
308
00:11:36,551 --> 00:11:38,310
,Here you go
.Mrs. Puff
309
00:11:38,344 --> 00:11:42,413
800 words, all about stoplights
.and what not to do at them
310
00:11:42,448 --> 00:11:45,379
,I'm sorry, SpongeBob
.I tried to call you
311
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:48,103
I have to go
.to a teachers' convention
312
00:11:48,137 --> 00:11:50,034
But what about
?my essay
313
00:11:50,068 --> 00:11:52,551
I decided to cancel
.the assignment
314
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,896
We're just going to take
a field trip
315
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,551
.to a stoplight instead
316
00:11:56,586 --> 00:11:58,103
.See you next week
317
00:12:16,034 --> 00:12:17,965
[grunting ]
318
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,448
[knocking ]
319
00:12:20,482 --> 00:12:22,137
[grunts ]
320
00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:24,965
!Whoo
321
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:25,965
[grunting ]
322
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,206
[panting ]
323
00:12:27,241 --> 00:12:30,034
.Oh, sweep, sweep
324
00:12:32,137 --> 00:12:34,586
!Need... furniture
325
00:12:41,413 --> 00:12:44,206
[panting and gasping ]
326
00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:46,931
Patrick, what's
?with the home improvement
327
00:12:46,965 --> 00:12:48,034
[barks ]
328
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,413
[panting ]
329
00:12:50,448 --> 00:12:52,000
!Hey, Patrick
330
00:12:52,034 --> 00:12:53,862
!Ooh, sweep, sweep
331
00:12:53,896 --> 00:12:55,724
Well, Patrick, I came
over to see
332
00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:57,620
if you wanted to go
jelly fishing
333
00:12:57,655 --> 00:13:00,310
but I can see you're busy
.having an episode
334
00:13:01,896 --> 00:13:03,586
,You know something
?Spongebob
335
00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:06,000
it's just all fun and games
.for you
336
00:13:06,034 --> 00:13:07,758
.Nothing really matters
337
00:13:07,793 --> 00:13:09,275
:[mockingly ]
!Oh, let's go jelly fishing"
338
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,758
.We don't have any work to do"
339
00:13:11,793 --> 00:13:15,965
Life is just a big bowl"
of fancy, assorted cashews
340
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:20,241
and nobody has anything"
to dust or to clean
341
00:13:20,275 --> 00:13:22,551
"!or to wipe, or fabricate
342
00:13:24,758 --> 00:13:27,413
But, Patrick, the only thing
I've ever seen you clean
343
00:13:27,448 --> 00:13:28,620
.is your plate
344
00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:32,586
[sobbing ]
345
00:13:32,827 --> 00:13:35,103
,I don't know what to do
.Spongebob
346
00:13:35,137 --> 00:13:36,655
!You got to help me
347
00:13:36,689 --> 00:13:38,896
Patrick, you forgot
.how to eat again
348
00:13:38,931 --> 00:13:40,655
Come on, we'll
.get the funnel
349
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:43,655
,No, it's not that
.Spongebob; it's worse
350
00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:45,172
Darn, I like
.the funnel
351
00:13:45,206 --> 00:13:46,448
?Well, what is it then
352
00:13:46,482 --> 00:13:48,034
!Look
353
00:13:48,068 --> 00:13:50,344
.Hey, a note
354
00:13:50,379 --> 00:13:52,000
.Yeah, but turn it over
355
00:13:52,034 --> 00:13:53,413
.There's a letter
356
00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:54,931
.You're right
357
00:13:54,965 --> 00:13:57,068
And I got this message
.from my parents
358
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:58,310
?Your parents
359
00:13:58,551 --> 00:14:00,689
,Dear Patrick"
Your mom and I
360
00:14:00,724 --> 00:14:02,586
are coming out tomorrow"
.for Starfish Day
361
00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:05,793
,Please try to remember"
but don't try too hard
362
00:14:05,827 --> 00:14:07,896
or you'll hurt yourself"
.like last time
363
00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:09,310
".Love, Daddy
364
00:14:09,344 --> 00:14:11,758
Spongebob, my parents think
I'm dumber
365
00:14:11,793 --> 00:14:13,724
.than a sack of diapers
366
00:14:13,758 --> 00:14:15,034
,No, they don't
.Patrick
367
00:14:15,068 --> 00:14:17,103
Parents just like
...to push your buttons
368
00:14:17,137 --> 00:14:18,172
!like this-- Nee
369
00:14:18,206 --> 00:14:19,793
[laughing ]
370
00:14:19,827 --> 00:14:21,931
.That always cheers me up
371
00:14:21,965 --> 00:14:24,275
.But not today
372
00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:26,724
Patrick, if your parents
think you're dumb
373
00:14:26,758 --> 00:14:29,172
then they must not know
.what dumb really is
374
00:14:29,206 --> 00:14:31,241
But don't they watch
?television
375
00:14:31,275 --> 00:14:32,724
.That's what I'm saying, Pat
376
00:14:32,758 --> 00:14:35,103
If your parents got to meet
a real dummy
377
00:14:35,137 --> 00:14:37,896
they'd realize what genius
.you really are
378
00:14:37,931 --> 00:14:40,000
Oh, but don't genius live
?in a lamp
379
00:14:40,034 --> 00:14:43,068
And besides, we don't know
.any dumb people
380
00:14:43,103 --> 00:14:44,689
.Don't worry, Patrick
381
00:14:44,724 --> 00:14:45,724
!I'll be the dummy
382
00:14:45,758 --> 00:14:47,724
When your parents see
how dumb I act
383
00:14:47,758 --> 00:14:50,827
they'll think you're
.the smartest guy ever
384
00:14:50,862 --> 00:14:52,241
!Math is power
385
00:14:52,275 --> 00:14:54,965
A, B, C, D
386
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,275
[E, F, G...[ doorbell rings
387
00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:59,586
...Oh! ...H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
388
00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:01,620
Should I get the bullhorn
?again, Marty
389
00:15:01,655 --> 00:15:03,137
?W, X, Y and Z...
390
00:15:03,172 --> 00:15:04,206
.Hi, Mom
391
00:15:04,241 --> 00:15:05,586
.Hi, Dad
392
00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:07,793
Son, you recognized us
.this time
393
00:15:07,827 --> 00:15:10,827
Why wouldn't I recognize
?my own parents
394
00:15:10,862 --> 00:15:12,931
.You never were a bright one
395
00:15:12,965 --> 00:15:14,172
...Uh
396
00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:15,586
[laughing ]
397
00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:17,344
Well, aren't you going
?to show us inside
398
00:15:17,379 --> 00:15:19,689
He probably forgot
.where it is
399
00:15:19,724 --> 00:15:20,931
...I know where
400
00:15:20,965 --> 00:15:23,344
Oh, let me lead the way
?so we don't get lost, huh
401
00:15:23,379 --> 00:15:25,344
.Hold hands now
402
00:15:25,379 --> 00:15:28,034
.Okay, we're almost there
403
00:15:28,068 --> 00:15:29,931
.Let go on three
404
00:15:29,965 --> 00:15:32,517
.One, two, three
405
00:15:32,551 --> 00:15:34,206
!Good job
406
00:15:34,241 --> 00:15:36,241
.Pats for Patrick.Pats for Patrick
407
00:15:36,275 --> 00:15:38,482
[both laughing ]
408
00:15:40,137 --> 00:15:43,241
.I'll go get the beverages
409
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,965
[ice cubes tinkling ]
410
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,517
!Wow, son
411
00:15:46,551 --> 00:15:49,275
You put the drinks insomething
.this time
412
00:15:49,310 --> 00:15:51,862
Aw, son, you must've been
working all night
413
00:15:51,896 --> 00:15:54,172
to put these together
.for us
414
00:15:54,206 --> 00:15:56,344
.We love you
.We love you
415
00:15:56,379 --> 00:15:57,758
[groaning ]
416
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,310
!doorbell rings]Hooray, the idiot's here ]
417
00:16:00,344 --> 00:16:01,862
.I mean, I'll get it
418
00:16:01,896 --> 00:16:03,310
.Protective helmet-- check
419
00:16:03,344 --> 00:16:04,379
[meows ]
420
00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:05,931
I'm supposed
.to look stupid, Gary
421
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:06,965
[meows ]
422
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,758
?What could go wrong
423
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,793
.What a surprise
424
00:16:10,827 --> 00:16:12,379
.Hi
425
00:16:12,413 --> 00:16:15,620
,Mom, Dad, meet my neighbor
.Spongebob
426
00:16:15,655 --> 00:16:16,655
.Hi
427
00:16:16,689 --> 00:16:17,793
.Hello there
428
00:16:17,827 --> 00:16:19,034
?How do you do
429
00:16:19,172 --> 00:16:20,137
.Hi
430
00:16:20,172 --> 00:16:21,827
.Put her there
431
00:16:23,448 --> 00:16:24,793
:[mechanical voice ]
!Mama, Mama
432
00:16:24,827 --> 00:16:26,965
.He means shake
433
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,896
!No, Spongebob, no
434
00:16:28,931 --> 00:16:30,758
.Shake hands
435
00:16:30,793 --> 00:16:33,413
.No, Spongebob
436
00:16:33,448 --> 00:16:36,172
.Grab my dad's hand
437
00:16:36,206 --> 00:16:38,620
Grab it with
.only one hand
438
00:16:38,655 --> 00:16:39,931
!Good boy
439
00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:44,793
Now move your
.arm up and down
440
00:16:44,827 --> 00:16:45,689
[giggling ]
441
00:16:45,724 --> 00:16:48,620
,So, Spongebob
?do you live nearby
442
00:16:48,655 --> 00:16:49,724
.Hi
443
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:52,965
.No, Spongebob
.Show them your house
444
00:16:53,206 --> 00:16:57,689
,No, not your blouse
.your house
445
00:16:57,724 --> 00:16:59,310
[screaming ]
446
00:17:01,137 --> 00:17:02,827
?He lives in a fruit
447
00:17:02,862 --> 00:17:04,931
.That's unhealthy
448
00:17:04,965 --> 00:17:08,379
[laughing ]
449
00:17:08,413 --> 00:17:09,965
!Hey, Spongebob
450
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,827
You want to stay
?for dinner
451
00:17:12,862 --> 00:17:15,827
[babbling ]
452
00:17:15,862 --> 00:17:18,379
[chuckles ]
453
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:20,965
Does he always do that
?after he eats
454
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,482
:PATRICK
.Only on Wednesday
455
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,827
[buzzing loudly ]
456
00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:29,344
[chuckling ]
457
00:17:29,379 --> 00:17:32,517
Uh, Patrick, I think your friend
.might be broken
458
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:36,448
Yeah, and it would take
more than some masking tape
459
00:17:36,482 --> 00:17:38,206
.to fix that guy
460
00:17:38,241 --> 00:17:40,517
[siren blares ]
461
00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:43,413
?Whoa! Is he going to be okay
462
00:17:43,448 --> 00:17:45,103
.Oh, that's nothing
463
00:17:45,137 --> 00:17:47,137
You should see him
in the morning
464
00:17:47,172 --> 00:17:50,689
,prancing around, yelling
!Harmony! Harmony! Harmony"
465
00:17:50,724 --> 00:17:53,862
He drives
.all the neighbors crazy
466
00:17:53,896 --> 00:17:57,103
Why, just the other day
...our neighbor Squidward was
467
00:17:57,137 --> 00:17:58,517
[elephant trumpets ]
468
00:17:58,551 --> 00:18:00,103
[clattering ]
469
00:18:00,137 --> 00:18:01,931
There's really
.no help for him
470
00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:06,379
I mean, look at
.the way he's dressed
471
00:18:06,413 --> 00:18:09,241
Only somebody with holes
drilled in their head
472
00:18:09,275 --> 00:18:11,000
.would wear that stuff
473
00:18:11,034 --> 00:18:13,344
?And how about this shape
474
00:18:13,379 --> 00:18:15,448
I mean, I've heard
of barrel-chested
475
00:18:15,482 --> 00:18:18,172
!but never box-chested
476
00:18:18,206 --> 00:18:20,206
[all laughing ]
477
00:18:20,241 --> 00:18:24,206
Hey, Spongebob, do you have
?any mascara I could borrow
478
00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:27,275
[chuckles ]
479
00:18:27,310 --> 00:18:29,724
?The boy wears makeup
480
00:18:29,758 --> 00:18:31,172
!What a card
481
00:18:31,206 --> 00:18:33,310
[laughing ]
482
00:18:33,344 --> 00:18:36,896
[laughter continues ]
483
00:18:36,931 --> 00:18:38,689
.Hey, Patrick
484
00:18:38,724 --> 00:18:39,620
!Patrick
485
00:18:39,655 --> 00:18:42,310
.Aw, he said my name
486
00:18:42,344 --> 00:18:45,000
Wow, how'd you train
?him to do that
487
00:18:45,034 --> 00:18:47,517
[laughter ]
488
00:18:47,551 --> 00:18:49,379
.Ow! He bit me
489
00:18:49,413 --> 00:18:51,241
,Patrick
.meet me in the kitchen
490
00:18:51,275 --> 00:18:55,517
Oh, I guess the dummy
wants to have a private
.conversation
491
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:58,103
[laughing ]
492
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,172
!A dumb one
493
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:02,034
[laughing ]
494
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:03,793
?So, what's on your mind
495
00:19:03,827 --> 00:19:04,758
!No, wait
496
00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:07,586
:I already know the answer
.nothing
497
00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:09,379
[laughing ]
498
00:19:09,413 --> 00:19:11,827
,See, that's funny
!'cause you're dumb
499
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:13,586
Patrick, could you let up
on the insults
500
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:15,517
?just a little bit
501
00:19:15,551 --> 00:19:18,517
Oh, we're those too complicated
?for you
502
00:19:18,551 --> 00:19:20,965
I'll try dumbingthem down
.a bit
503
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,517
Patrick, I get the feeling
.that you think I really am dumb
504
00:19:27,413 --> 00:19:30,827
:[chuckling ]
That's just what I'd expect
.you to say
505
00:19:30,862 --> 00:19:33,379
Dumb people are always
blissfully unaware
506
00:19:33,413 --> 00:19:35,379
.of how dumb they really are
507
00:19:35,413 --> 00:19:37,448
[moans ]
508
00:19:37,482 --> 00:19:39,586
.I'm only pretending to be dumb
509
00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:41,517
?It was our plan, remember
510
00:19:41,551 --> 00:19:44,379
Oh, Spongebob, if only
you could see
511
00:19:44,413 --> 00:19:47,275
how stupid you sound right now
512
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:50,206
with your talk
.of imaginary plans
513
00:19:50,241 --> 00:19:53,448
Tell you what, you've caught me
.in a good mood
514
00:19:53,482 --> 00:19:55,103
.I'll humor you
515
00:19:55,137 --> 00:19:58,482
Go on. Go out there and act
.smart for everyone
516
00:19:58,517 --> 00:20:00,758
.Okay, I will
517
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:05,482
;And-and don't worry
.I'll keep this warm for you
518
00:20:05,517 --> 00:20:06,620
[clears throat ]
519
00:20:06,655 --> 00:20:08,620
.I have a confession to make
520
00:20:08,655 --> 00:20:10,620
.I lied about being stupid
521
00:20:10,655 --> 00:20:12,275
I just acted like a fool
522
00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:15,413
so you would appreciate Patrick
.a little bit more
523
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:18,034
I know how to talk and eat
--and do laundry
524
00:20:18,068 --> 00:20:20,482
I even separate the darks
.and the lights
525
00:20:20,517 --> 00:20:22,965
So what do you say we start over
.and try again
526
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,965
Hi. My name is
Spongebob Squarepants
527
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,482
.and I am not a dummy
528
00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:29,068
[chuckling ]
529
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:31,310
Amazing. Three minutes
in the kitchen
530
00:20:31,344 --> 00:20:34,620
and our son has taught him
.to talk in complete sentences
531
00:20:34,655 --> 00:20:36,000
.Oh, good work, son
532
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:38,000
.It wasn't easy, Dad
533
00:20:38,241 --> 00:20:40,103
:[stuttering ]
...B-but-but
534
00:20:40,137 --> 00:20:43,310
It looks like it's time
.for your next lesson, young man
535
00:20:43,344 --> 00:20:45,586
!Now listen to me
!I'm not dumb
536
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:48,896
.I have a brain
.See, here's a picture of it
537
00:20:49,793 --> 00:20:52,172
.That must be actual size
538
00:20:52,206 --> 00:20:55,586
[laughter ]
539
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:59,448
No! It's normal size
.and fully functional
540
00:20:59,482 --> 00:21:01,000
.Watch
541
00:21:02,655 --> 00:21:04,551
.Two plus two equals four
542
00:21:04,586 --> 00:21:07,206
,Oh, son, you taught him math
.too
543
00:21:07,241 --> 00:21:09,413
!No
544
00:21:09,448 --> 00:21:11,379
.Andyou taught him to sing
545
00:21:11,413 --> 00:21:12,448
[babbling ]
546
00:21:12,482 --> 00:21:14,137
Oh, now he's
.short-circuiting
547
00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:16,448
You must've taught him
.a little too much
548
00:21:16,482 --> 00:21:20,000
[laughing ]
549
00:21:20,241 --> 00:21:23,689
[laughter continues ]
550
00:21:30,241 --> 00:21:34,137
[laughter continuing ]
551
00:21:37,310 --> 00:21:39,827
[screaming ]
552
00:21:42,689 --> 00:21:44,241
You know, son
553
00:21:44,275 --> 00:21:47,689
I've always known
that when it comes to brightness
554
00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:50,241
.well, you're about a three-watt
555
00:21:50,275 --> 00:21:53,758
But this guy... he's a wet match
.in a dark cave
556
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,689
He makes
.phone operators seem smart
557
00:21:56,724 --> 00:21:59,137
[clears throat ]
But more importantly, son
558
00:21:59,172 --> 00:22:02,206
,he's shown me what a sharp
.quick-witted boy you've become
559
00:22:02,241 --> 00:22:05,413
I-I feel like I'm
really meeting you
.for the first time
560
00:22:05,448 --> 00:22:07,689
?Isn't that right, Janet
561
00:22:07,724 --> 00:22:09,620
.You bet, Marty
562
00:22:09,655 --> 00:22:12,103
?Janet
563
00:22:12,137 --> 00:22:13,482
!?Marty
564
00:22:13,517 --> 00:22:15,482
!?Who are you people
565
00:22:15,517 --> 00:22:17,551
.Marty, I'm scared
566
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:18,620
[doorbell rings ]
567
00:22:18,655 --> 00:22:19,758
.Excuse me
568
00:22:19,793 --> 00:22:22,758
Does this lovely
?couple belong to you
569
00:22:22,793 --> 00:22:24,620
They've been standing
outside my house saying
570
00:22:24,655 --> 00:22:26,379
.Where's Patrick?" all day"
571
00:22:26,413 --> 00:22:28,241
!It's driving me nuts
572
00:22:28,275 --> 00:22:31,275
!Mom! Dad
573
00:22:32,689 --> 00:22:36,000
Wow, son, you actually
.recognized us this time
574
00:22:36,034 --> 00:22:39,758
And you remembered
.to get dressed today
575
00:22:39,793 --> 00:22:41,931
[all laughing ]
576
00:22:45,172 --> 00:22:49,172
,Oh, that's right, honey
.we don't have a son
577
00:22:49,206 --> 00:22:51,344
.Oh, yeah
578
00:22:51,379 --> 00:22:53,172
[laughter continuing ]
579
00:23:01,344 --> 00:23:05,344
Captioning sponsored by THE]
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
580
00:23:05,379 --> 00:23:09,206
and NICKELODEON
581
00:23:09,241 --> 00:23:13,310
Captioned by
The Caption Center
[WGBH Educational Foundation
37685
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