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1
00:00:08,931 --> 00:00:09,931
Are you ready, kids?
2
00:00:10,034 --> 00:00:12,068
Kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!
3
00:00:12,172 --> 00:00:13,310
I can't hear you.
4
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:14,586
Aye, aye, Captain!
5
00:00:14,689 --> 00:00:17,137
♪ Oh...
6
00:00:17,241 --> 00:00:20,275
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪
7
00:00:20,379 --> 00:00:21,482
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
8
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:23,793
♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he. ♪
9
00:00:23,896 --> 00:00:25,172
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
10
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:28,379
♪ If nautical nonsense be
something you wish... ♪
11
00:00:28,482 --> 00:00:29,758
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
12
00:00:29,862 --> 00:00:32,379
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish. ♪
13
00:00:32,482 --> 00:00:34,206
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
14
00:00:34,310 --> 00:00:36,275
♪ Ready?
SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
15
00:00:36,379 --> 00:00:39,275
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!
16
00:00:39,379 --> 00:00:40,241
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!
17
00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:42,793
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!
18
00:00:45,137 --> 00:00:48,758
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
19
00:00:48,862 --> 00:00:52,206
[and NICKELODEON]
20
00:01:04,068 --> 00:01:05,241
Here you go, sir.
21
00:01:05,344 --> 00:01:09,344
A King Size
Ultra Krabby Supreme
with the works
22
00:01:09,448 --> 00:01:12,517
double batter-fried on a stick.
23
00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:14,310
Thanks!
24
00:01:14,413 --> 00:01:15,413
Barnacle head.
25
00:01:15,448 --> 00:01:16,241
Pardon me?
26
00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:17,424
You forgot your mayonnaise.
27
00:01:17,482 --> 00:01:19,620
Thanks.
28
00:01:20,931 --> 00:01:24,344
Look at them eating
that garbage.
29
00:01:24,448 --> 00:01:26,482
It's disgusting.
30
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:29,034
They're sickening.
31
00:01:29,137 --> 00:01:30,551
I hate Krabby Patties.
32
00:01:33,517 --> 00:01:34,758
Good one, Squidward!
33
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:35,758
Good what?
34
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:37,379
Like you don't know.
35
00:01:37,482 --> 00:01:39,758
Saying "I hate Krabby Patties."
36
00:01:39,862 --> 00:01:40,758
That's hilarious!
37
00:01:40,862 --> 00:01:43,137
Everyone loves Krabby Patties.
38
00:01:43,241 --> 00:01:45,344
Yeah, well, not me.
39
00:01:46,103 --> 00:01:47,965
You're good at that.
40
00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:49,172
Hey, everyone!
41
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:52,931
Squid says he doesn't
like Krabby Patties. Ha!
42
00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:56,620
Good one, Squidward!
43
00:01:57,758 --> 00:01:58,827
Don't encourage them!
44
00:01:58,931 --> 00:01:59,931
They'll never leave.
45
00:02:00,034 --> 00:02:01,103
Sorry, Squidward.
46
00:02:01,206 --> 00:02:02,551
It's just so funny.
47
00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:03,931
You know what we say:
48
00:02:04,034 --> 00:02:08,137
The only people
who don't like a Krabby Patty
49
00:02:08,241 --> 00:02:09,517
have never tasted one.
50
00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:11,241
That's me.
51
00:02:11,344 --> 00:02:14,137
Never had one, never will.
52
00:02:15,517 --> 00:02:16,896
What?
53
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:17,620
What?
54
00:02:17,724 --> 00:02:18,517
What did you say?
55
00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:20,068
I've never had a Krabby Patty
56
00:02:20,172 --> 00:02:20,862
and never will.
57
00:02:20,965 --> 00:02:22,000
I'm sorry... I don't...
58
00:02:22,103 --> 00:02:24,620
I've never had a Krabby Patty.
59
00:02:24,724 --> 00:02:25,448
Those words!
60
00:02:25,551 --> 00:02:26,793
Is it possible to use them
61
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,068
in a sentence
together like that?
62
00:02:29,172 --> 00:02:32,827
I've never had a Krabby Patty!
I've never had a Krabby Patty!
I've never had a Krabby Patty!
63
00:02:32,931 --> 00:02:34,034
Never had a Krabby Patty?
64
00:02:34,137 --> 00:02:36,206
Well, you've gotta have one
right now!
65
00:02:36,310 --> 00:02:38,620
No wonder you're
always so miserable!
66
00:02:38,724 --> 00:02:39,517
Here, try this!
67
00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:40,896
Get that garbage outta my face!
68
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,655
If you try it, you'll love it!
69
00:02:43,758 --> 00:02:47,034
Try one of those radioactive
sludge balls you call food?
70
00:02:47,137 --> 00:02:51,827
Next I suppose you'll want me to
go square-dancing with Patrick.
71
00:02:51,931 --> 00:02:53,413
Sorry, Patrick.
72
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:55,896
Come on, you're gonna...
73
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:56,862
No.
74
00:02:56,965 --> 00:02:57,965
Open up the tunnel.
75
00:02:58,068 --> 00:02:58,551
Here comes the train.
76
00:02:58,655 --> 00:03:00,517
Choo-choo...
77
00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:01,448
No!
78
00:03:01,551 --> 00:03:03,103
Whoop! What's that
in your ear?
79
00:03:03,206 --> 00:03:03,931
Quit it.
80
00:03:04,034 --> 00:03:05,137
Come on, open wide!
81
00:03:05,241 --> 00:03:07,000
SpongeBob, if I were trapped
82
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:10,000
at the bottom of a
well for three years
83
00:03:10,103 --> 00:03:13,103
with nothing to eat
but that Krabby Patty
84
00:03:13,206 --> 00:03:14,965
I'd eat my own legs first!
85
00:03:15,068 --> 00:03:16,862
And not just the extra ones.
86
00:03:16,965 --> 00:03:18,034
But it's good for you!
87
00:03:18,137 --> 00:03:19,137
Good for you?
88
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,389
That thing is a heart attack
on a bun!
89
00:03:20,413 --> 00:03:26,172
No, Squidward, I meant...
good for your soul.
90
00:03:27,137 --> 00:03:30,310
Oh, puh-leez! I have no soul.
91
00:03:34,655 --> 00:03:35,689
Okay, just half.
92
00:03:35,793 --> 00:03:36,655
No.
93
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:37,758
A quarter?
94
00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:38,655
No.
95
00:03:38,758 --> 00:03:40,448
One bite?
96
00:03:41,275 --> 00:03:42,275
Just smell it.
97
00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:43,931
If I didn't want it out there
98
00:03:44,034 --> 00:03:46,068
what makes you think I'd find it
99
00:03:46,172 --> 00:03:48,379
more appealing in here?!
100
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,413
Come on, Squidward.
101
00:03:50,517 --> 00:03:51,827
No.
102
00:03:53,793 --> 00:03:54,931
One bite.
103
00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:55,724
No.
104
00:03:55,827 --> 00:03:57,448
You won't be sorry.
105
00:03:57,551 --> 00:03:59,206
No!
106
00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:00,620
It's delicious...
107
00:04:00,724 --> 00:04:03,827
SpongeBob, how long are you
prepared to keep this up?
108
00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:08,827
Give me that!
109
00:04:08,931 --> 00:04:13,172
When I die... you stay
away from my funeral.
110
00:04:13,758 --> 00:04:16,620
Ohh... do I really...
111
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:19,724
Ah...
112
00:04:20,655 --> 00:04:23,758
Ooh...
113
00:04:24,379 --> 00:04:26,413
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh...
114
00:04:36,448 --> 00:04:41,586
Why... this Krabby Patty
may be the most...
115
00:04:41,689 --> 00:04:43,655
Horrible!
116
00:04:43,758 --> 00:04:44,758
Putrid!
117
00:04:44,793 --> 00:04:46,827
Poorly prepared!
Vile!
118
00:04:46,931 --> 00:04:47,724
Unappetizing!
119
00:04:47,827 --> 00:04:50,172
Disgusting excuse for a sandwich
120
00:04:50,275 --> 00:04:52,517
it has ever been my displeasure
121
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:55,448
to have slither down my throat!
122
00:04:55,551 --> 00:04:56,344
But..
123
00:04:56,448 --> 00:04:58,551
And I curse this Krabby Patty
124
00:04:58,655 --> 00:05:01,896
and all who enjoy them
to an early
125
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,931
and well-deserved grave!
126
00:05:06,689 --> 00:05:07,551
Get it?
127
00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,275
But it doesn't make any sense
128
00:05:09,379 --> 00:05:11,689
The Krabby Patty
is an absolute good.
129
00:05:11,793 --> 00:05:13,724
Nobody is immune
to its tasty charms.
130
00:05:13,827 --> 00:05:15,758
Nobody but me.
131
00:05:15,862 --> 00:05:16,965
Are you sure?
132
00:05:17,068 --> 00:05:20,275
Does this look unsure to you?
133
00:05:21,275 --> 00:05:22,137
No.
134
00:05:22,241 --> 00:05:22,931
Good!
135
00:05:23,034 --> 00:05:24,896
Now go spread the word.
136
00:05:31,275 --> 00:05:34,448
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on!
137
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:35,172
Ah...
138
00:05:35,275 --> 00:05:38,275
Still alive!
139
00:05:40,827 --> 00:05:43,413
Oh, so delicious!
140
00:05:44,275 --> 00:05:45,862
Oh...! The wasted years!
141
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:56,000
I got to have more.
I got to have more!
142
00:05:58,586 --> 00:05:59,965
But wait!
143
00:06:00,586 --> 00:06:01,689
After that performance
144
00:06:01,793 --> 00:06:03,310
he'd never let me live it down!
145
00:06:03,413 --> 00:06:05,689
I gotta sneak one, just one...
146
00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:08,275
then I'm off the stuff for good!
147
00:06:08,379 --> 00:06:09,758
I didn't think it was possible
148
00:06:09,862 --> 00:06:13,793
but I guess some people
just don't like Krabby Patties!
149
00:06:20,931 --> 00:06:22,068
Uh, SpongeBob?
150
00:06:22,172 --> 00:06:23,379
Yes, Squidward?
151
00:06:23,482 --> 00:06:26,172
I need a Triple Krabby Supreme
on a kelp bun
152
00:06:26,275 --> 00:06:30,896
with extra sea pickle and,
and burn it to a crisp, okay?
153
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,827
Coming right up!
154
00:06:32,931 --> 00:06:33,724
Listen, Squidward.
155
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,206
I want to apologize for before.
156
00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:38,586
I was only trying
to make you happy.
157
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,655
But now I've learned
158
00:06:44,758 --> 00:06:46,278
there's room for
all kinds of people...
159
00:06:48,137 --> 00:06:52,896
and they don't
all have to like
the same things.
160
00:06:54,793 --> 00:06:55,482
Don't go.
161
00:06:55,586 --> 00:06:56,379
While I strongly disagree
162
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:57,700
with your decision, I accept it.
163
00:06:57,724 --> 00:07:02,206
You know, it's not often
I get to make one like this.
164
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:04,517
I want to see the look
on their face
165
00:07:04,620 --> 00:07:06,689
when they take that first bite.
166
00:07:07,103 --> 00:07:09,586
Triple Krabby Supreme!
167
00:07:09,689 --> 00:07:10,724
Triple Krabby Supreme!
168
00:07:10,827 --> 00:07:14,586
Did somebody order
a Triple Krabby Supreme?
169
00:07:14,689 --> 00:07:15,931
Huh? They must have left.
170
00:07:16,034 --> 00:07:19,344
Well, uh, why don't you
just uh, leave it out here
171
00:07:19,448 --> 00:07:20,724
in case they come back.
172
00:07:20,827 --> 00:07:23,655
Nope, a patty this special
should be eaten fresh
173
00:07:23,758 --> 00:07:27,000
and... well... I haven't
had one of these babies
174
00:07:27,103 --> 00:07:28,724
in over 20 minutes so...
175
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:34,379
Well, whoever they were,
they had great taste!
176
00:07:36,275 --> 00:07:39,689
Mm, mm-hmm-hmm,
mm-hmm-hmm-hmm...
177
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:44,344
Ah, they don't know
what they're missing.
178
00:07:44,448 --> 00:07:45,551
Well, back to work.
179
00:07:45,655 --> 00:07:46,413
What do I have to do?
180
00:07:46,517 --> 00:07:48,758
Eat one out of the garbage?
181
00:07:48,862 --> 00:07:52,896
I wish I could eat this,
but I'm so darn full.
182
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,517
Oh well.
183
00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:59,448
I had to say garbage...
but okay!
184
00:08:08,310 --> 00:08:09,655
Bleah...
185
00:08:12,275 --> 00:08:14,413
Oh no, what's this doing here?
186
00:08:14,517 --> 00:08:16,655
This patty should be cremated!
187
00:08:21,206 --> 00:08:23,551
I know you didn't like him
188
00:08:23,655 --> 00:08:27,310
but it means so much
that you came.
189
00:08:52,413 --> 00:08:54,413
Honey?
190
00:08:54,517 --> 00:08:55,620
What? Oh...
191
00:08:55,724 --> 00:08:59,379
I have got to get my hands
on a Krabby Patty!
192
00:08:59,482 --> 00:09:01,448
And no one's going to stop me.
193
00:09:08,517 --> 00:09:10,586
There it is...
194
00:09:18,655 --> 00:09:19,413
Holy shrimp!
195
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,724
I don't know where to start.
196
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:23,620
All that matters is that
197
00:09:23,724 --> 00:09:26,724
it's just you... and me...
and nobody...
198
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:28,241
Squidward?
199
00:09:28,344 --> 00:09:29,517
Is that you?
200
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:30,689
SpongeBob?
201
00:09:30,793 --> 00:09:33,689
Uh, uh, uh...
what are you doing here?
202
00:09:33,793 --> 00:09:36,379
I always come to work
at 3:00 a.m.
203
00:09:36,482 --> 00:09:38,413
This is when I count
the sesame seeds.
204
00:09:38,517 --> 00:09:39,620
What are you doing here?
205
00:09:39,724 --> 00:09:41,241
Uh... I forgot my...
206
00:09:41,344 --> 00:09:43,241
And why is the patty vault open?
207
00:09:43,344 --> 00:09:45,827
And why are you holding
a patty behind your back?
208
00:09:45,931 --> 00:09:48,275
I... I... I...
no, I didn't do...
209
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:49,562
And why are you
acting so nervous?
210
00:09:49,586 --> 00:09:52,517
And why are you
sweating so much?
211
00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:55,551
And why do you look so hungry?
212
00:09:55,655 --> 00:09:57,586
No, wait... it's
not what you think.
213
00:09:57,689 --> 00:09:59,517
Th-this is a big
misunderstanding.
214
00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:01,275
You've got to believe me, I...
215
00:10:01,379 --> 00:10:02,517
Listen, I am telling you...
216
00:10:02,620 --> 00:10:04,172
You better listen
to me, SpongeBob.
217
00:10:04,275 --> 00:10:08,517
You like Krabby Patties,
don't you, Squidward?
218
00:10:08,965 --> 00:10:13,448
Yes! Yes! I admit it, SpongeBob!
219
00:10:13,551 --> 00:10:17,103
I loveKrabby Patties!
220
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,896
I knew it all along, Squidward.
221
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,344
No one can resist
a Krabby Patty.
222
00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:34,137
Squidward!
How many are you eating?
223
00:10:34,241 --> 00:10:35,241
Squidward!
224
00:10:42,827 --> 00:10:48,137
Squidward, you can't eat
all those patties at one time!
225
00:10:48,241 --> 00:10:49,655
Squidward!
226
00:10:49,758 --> 00:10:51,206
What's gonna happen?
227
00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:52,793
Am I gonna blow up?
228
00:10:52,896 --> 00:10:57,137
No, worse... it'll go
right to your thighs...
229
00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:58,655
My thighs?
230
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:01,137
And then you'll blow up.
231
00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,793
Yeah...
232
00:11:08,896 --> 00:11:12,655
I remember my first
Krabby Patty.
233
00:11:55,103 --> 00:11:56,103
Excuse me, Miss.
234
00:11:56,137 --> 00:11:57,631
I don't want to have
to report you again.
235
00:11:57,655 --> 00:11:59,103
I was just wondering....
236
00:11:59,206 --> 00:12:02,620
Is it the "homework pencil"
on the left side of the paper
237
00:12:02,724 --> 00:12:04,000
next to the "quiz pencil"
238
00:12:04,103 --> 00:12:06,241
or over on the right side,
all by itself... or...
239
00:12:06,344 --> 00:12:08,379
I think it goes
stuck inside your...
240
00:12:08,482 --> 00:12:09,482
Wait! I got it!
241
00:12:09,551 --> 00:12:11,344
The "quiz pencil"
goes right over here
242
00:12:11,448 --> 00:12:12,620
next to the "essay" pencil.
243
00:12:12,724 --> 00:12:14,551
And the "essay" pencil
gets turned sideways
244
00:12:14,655 --> 00:12:15,724
towards the notepad.
245
00:12:15,827 --> 00:12:17,413
Just in case
I have to write an essay.
246
00:12:17,517 --> 00:12:19,172
Good morning, class!
247
00:12:19,275 --> 00:12:20,586
Sorry I'm late...
248
00:12:20,689 --> 00:12:22,241
I got caught in traffic
on the way here
249
00:12:22,344 --> 00:12:25,758
when that whole
"I'm gonna be doing this
for the rest of my life" thing
250
00:12:25,862 --> 00:12:26,862
reared its ugly head
251
00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:28,068
and I...
252
00:12:28,172 --> 00:12:31,482
Anyway, we have a new student
starting today.
253
00:12:31,586 --> 00:12:34,862
So let's all put on a happy face
254
00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:37,241
for Flats the Flounder.
255
00:12:39,896 --> 00:12:41,736
Tell the class something
about yourself, Flats.
256
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:46,206
Well, I like to
kick people's butts.
257
00:12:48,758 --> 00:12:49,793
What a card.
258
00:12:49,896 --> 00:12:51,827
Now, Flats, it's time
to pick your seat.
259
00:12:51,931 --> 00:12:55,896
Just go ahead
and sit anywhere you like.
260
00:12:57,965 --> 00:13:01,827
Okay, class,
as you remember last week...
261
00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:04,482
Hi, I'm SpongeBob.
262
00:13:04,586 --> 00:13:05,896
Hi, SpongeBob.
263
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,172
I'm gonna kick your butt.
264
00:13:08,275 --> 00:13:09,275
Whoa!
265
00:13:10,413 --> 00:13:13,206
That joke was almost
funnier the second time.
266
00:13:13,310 --> 00:13:15,000
No... I mean it.
267
00:13:15,103 --> 00:13:19,931
That time
it almost seemed like...
268
00:13:21,413 --> 00:13:24,310
you did mean it.
269
00:13:24,413 --> 00:13:25,241
Mrs. Puff.
270
00:13:25,344 --> 00:13:26,344
Yes, SpongeBob?
271
00:13:26,413 --> 00:13:28,206
Can I be excused
for the rest of my life?
272
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:29,517
Why no, SpongeBob.
273
00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:32,655
I'm in the middle of a coffee-
fueled sermon right now.
274
00:13:32,758 --> 00:13:36,724
You can't afford
to miss this information.
275
00:13:36,827 --> 00:13:38,793
Yes, Mrs.Puff.
276
00:13:38,896 --> 00:13:41,103
Sorry, Mrs. Puff.
277
00:13:41,206 --> 00:13:43,931
Now... can I please
have a volunteer
278
00:13:44,034 --> 00:13:45,758
to come up to the board?
279
00:13:45,862 --> 00:13:48,103
How about you, Flats?
280
00:13:48,206 --> 00:13:49,286
Please draw for us a diagram
281
00:13:49,310 --> 00:13:52,620
of a basic four-way
intersection, Flats.
282
00:13:55,827 --> 00:13:57,310
Please turn and show the class
283
00:13:57,413 --> 00:14:00,482
what you drew, honey.
284
00:14:03,172 --> 00:14:05,655
My!
How very creative!
285
00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:08,620
We have an artist in the class!
286
00:14:16,137 --> 00:14:18,103
I just don't understand.
287
00:14:18,206 --> 00:14:19,724
Why would Flats
want to kick mybutt?
288
00:14:19,827 --> 00:14:23,896
I haven't said
two words to the guy!
289
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,586
Hi, I'm SpongeBob.
290
00:14:26,689 --> 00:14:28,448
One... two...
291
00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:29,724
Oh no, that's three!
292
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,034
What am I gonna do?
293
00:14:32,034 --> 00:14:34,379
What's that?! Someone's coming.
294
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:35,172
They're getting closer.
295
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,344
I just got to act natural.
296
00:14:40,551 --> 00:14:42,862
Oh, that's real nice.
297
00:14:44,344 --> 00:14:47,172
Whew!
I thought for sure
that was gonna be...
298
00:14:47,275 --> 00:14:48,896
Flats?!
299
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,517
Uh, hello, um... sir.
300
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:53,379
Uh... kicked any
good butts lately?
301
00:14:53,482 --> 00:14:54,522
Yeah, I remember last week
302
00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:57,793
I was kickin' this
guy's butt real good...
303
00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:59,275
and he leans over and says...
304
00:14:59,379 --> 00:15:02,206
"Hey, ya know... life's like
a bucket of wood shavings,
305
00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:04,551
"except for when the shavings
are in a pail...
306
00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:08,000
then it's like a pail
of wood shavings."
307
00:15:08,103 --> 00:15:10,448
Hey, that story
really speaks to me.
308
00:15:10,551 --> 00:15:11,689
Really? What's it say?
309
00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:14,896
It says now I'm gonna
kick your butt twice as hard.
310
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,000
It says now I'm gonna
kick your butt twice as hard.
311
00:15:19,344 --> 00:15:21,758
And I'll leave
Gary's water bowl to Gary
312
00:15:21,862 --> 00:15:22,896
and my curtains to...
313
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,724
Oh, Neptune,
I just can't do this!
314
00:15:28,137 --> 00:15:29,389
Death row.
"Next-in-line" speaking.
315
00:15:29,413 --> 00:15:33,827
Hi! I'd like to place
an order for delivery.
316
00:15:33,931 --> 00:15:36,344
Patrick! Is that you?
317
00:15:36,448 --> 00:15:37,517
Yeah. Hey, Mario.
318
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:39,862
Let me get a large,
double olive, double...
319
00:15:39,965 --> 00:15:42,517
Patrick, listen!
It's me, SpongeBob!
320
00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:44,275
I need your help.
321
00:15:44,379 --> 00:15:46,689
You're working
at Pizza Castle now?
322
00:15:46,793 --> 00:15:48,827
What? No... listen!
323
00:15:48,931 --> 00:15:50,344
I'm in big trouble.
324
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:53,275
There's a new guy at school here
and he wants kick my butt.
325
00:15:53,379 --> 00:15:54,389
Listen, you're big and strong.
326
00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:56,379
Do you think
you can come down here...
327
00:15:56,482 --> 00:16:00,275
maybe rough him up a bit,
just to get him off my back?
328
00:16:00,379 --> 00:16:01,517
Please, Patrick!
329
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:04,620
I'm so scared it feels
like I'm gonna throw up.
330
00:16:04,724 --> 00:16:06,517
No, they're not closed...
331
00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:08,034
I know, you want olives...
332
00:16:08,137 --> 00:16:08,793
Patrick? You there?
333
00:16:08,896 --> 00:16:11,172
Oh, I'm sorry, SpongeBob.
334
00:16:11,275 --> 00:16:14,275
I was just talking
to my old community
college buddy, Flats.
335
00:16:14,379 --> 00:16:18,137
I bumped into him
at the soda store,
isn't that funny?
336
00:16:18,241 --> 00:16:21,862
It must have been years
since we've seen each other.
337
00:16:21,965 --> 00:16:23,068
Well, let me get going.
338
00:16:23,172 --> 00:16:25,103
He's got to go
back to school soon.
339
00:16:25,206 --> 00:16:28,241
He says he's got to
kick somebody's butt.
340
00:16:28,344 --> 00:16:30,275
Aah...!
341
00:16:30,379 --> 00:16:32,310
Hello?
Is this Pizza Castle?
342
00:16:32,413 --> 00:16:36,137
Aah...!
343
00:16:36,241 --> 00:16:38,689
Come in, SpongeBob.
344
00:16:41,689 --> 00:16:45,206
Mrs. Puff, can I be
in a different class?
345
00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:45,931
But why?
346
00:16:46,034 --> 00:16:47,551
I can't tell you.
347
00:16:47,655 --> 00:16:48,896
Why ever not?
348
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,275
I just can't, Mrs. Puff.
349
00:16:50,379 --> 00:16:52,241
My physical being is at stake.
350
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:53,931
Let's just leave it at that.
351
00:16:54,034 --> 00:16:56,793
SpongeBob,
you can tell me anything.
352
00:16:56,896 --> 00:16:59,310
You've got to believe that.
353
00:16:59,413 --> 00:17:00,517
Well... okay.
354
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,586
But only if you promise
to keep it between us.
355
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:04,586
Of course.
356
00:17:04,689 --> 00:17:06,049
Flats says
he's gonna kick my butt!
357
00:17:06,103 --> 00:17:10,103
What?! There shall be
no butt-kicking
358
00:17:10,206 --> 00:17:11,827
in any class of mine.
359
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,965
This is an adult program.
360
00:17:14,068 --> 00:17:16,689
SpongeBob, just leave it to me.
361
00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:18,206
Aw, thanks, Mrs. Puff.
362
00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:20,241
I knew I could count on you.
363
00:17:23,448 --> 00:17:24,562
Have a nice lunch, SpongeBob?
364
00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:26,344
Yes, Mrs. Puff.
365
00:17:26,448 --> 00:17:27,758
Psst! SpongeBob!
366
00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:30,551
I talked to Flats for you.
367
00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:31,689
I used your name.
368
00:17:31,793 --> 00:17:33,896
It was all a misunderstanding.
369
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,137
You what?!
370
00:17:35,241 --> 00:17:36,320
He was never going to
kick your butt at all.
371
00:17:36,344 --> 00:17:40,206
You see, SpongeBob,
Flats is from a town
372
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:42,344
where "kicking someone's butt"
373
00:17:42,448 --> 00:17:45,586
means that he wants
to be your friend
374
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:47,034
and maybe play
375
00:17:47,137 --> 00:17:47,965
some sports with you
on weekends. and maybe play
376
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,413
some sports with you
on weekends.
377
00:17:49,517 --> 00:17:51,137
I got diarrhea.
378
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:55,896
Huh?
379
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,448
Are you Flats's Dad?
380
00:17:58,551 --> 00:17:59,862
Why, yes, I am.
381
00:17:59,965 --> 00:18:00,965
Okay, see...
382
00:18:01,034 --> 00:18:02,314
I didn't know
where else to turn!
383
00:18:02,413 --> 00:18:03,413
Patrick couldn't help me
384
00:18:03,448 --> 00:18:04,931
and Mrs. Puff
only made it worse!
385
00:18:05,034 --> 00:18:07,034
I sit next to your son
Flats in school
386
00:18:07,137 --> 00:18:08,257
and he is a fine boy and all
387
00:18:08,310 --> 00:18:10,793
and I don't want you
to take this the wrong way
388
00:18:10,896 --> 00:18:12,310
but he wants to kick my butt.
389
00:18:12,413 --> 00:18:13,827
Dad, what are you doing?
390
00:18:13,931 --> 00:18:14,931
Uh, nothing, son.
391
00:18:15,034 --> 00:18:16,068
What did I tell you
392
00:18:16,172 --> 00:18:17,000
about talking to strangers?
393
00:18:17,103 --> 00:18:21,068
Now he's going to kick mybutt.
394
00:18:21,172 --> 00:18:24,896
Aah...!
395
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,758
Out of my way! Out of my way!
396
00:18:26,862 --> 00:18:30,310
Can't you see
he's going to kick my butt?!
397
00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:33,862
Hi there, young people!
398
00:18:33,965 --> 00:18:34,965
Nice day today.
399
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,310
So you like kickin'
butts, do ya?
400
00:18:37,413 --> 00:18:39,206
Well, we'll show you, old man.
401
00:18:46,379 --> 00:18:47,689
Okay, okay, I got to skip town!
402
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,241
Start a new life!
Live under an assumed name!
403
00:18:50,344 --> 00:18:52,517
BobPants SpongeSquare!
Yeah, that's good.
404
00:18:52,620 --> 00:18:54,896
Grow a beard
and then shave it off....
405
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,413
and live happily ever after.
406
00:18:56,517 --> 00:18:58,310
Yeah, except you forgot the part
407
00:18:58,413 --> 00:18:59,586
where I kick your butt!
408
00:19:15,896 --> 00:19:17,344
Whoa...!
409
00:19:22,758 --> 00:19:23,758
Hey, Flats.
410
00:19:23,793 --> 00:19:25,689
You feeling better?
411
00:19:25,793 --> 00:19:29,758
Wh-wh-hat? Where am I?
412
00:19:29,862 --> 00:19:31,137
Why, you're in the hospital.
413
00:19:31,241 --> 00:19:32,251
This young boy saved your life.
414
00:19:32,275 --> 00:19:34,931
He performed CPR
for five hours straight.
415
00:19:35,034 --> 00:19:37,965
Yeah... they said you'd be okay
after the first few minutes
416
00:19:38,068 --> 00:19:40,620
but I just wanted to be sure.
417
00:19:40,724 --> 00:19:42,310
Wow! I'm touched.
418
00:19:42,413 --> 00:19:45,620
I'll have to remember that
when I'm kicking your butt.
419
00:19:46,068 --> 00:19:47,655
Those flowers for me?
420
00:19:47,758 --> 00:19:49,068
Aah...!
421
00:19:49,172 --> 00:19:52,103
He's still gonna kick my butt!
422
00:19:52,206 --> 00:19:54,000
How many times do we have to
423
00:19:54,103 --> 00:19:56,344
teach you this lesson, old man?
424
00:19:56,448 --> 00:19:58,103
I love the young people.
425
00:20:01,862 --> 00:20:03,620
Aah...!
426
00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:06,724
Oh Gary! I'm too young
to have my butt kicked.
427
00:20:06,827 --> 00:20:11,862
There are so many things in life
that I haven't gotten to do!
428
00:20:11,965 --> 00:20:14,310
Hang on...
I'll transfer your call.
429
00:20:15,655 --> 00:20:17,206
Who is it?
430
00:20:18,586 --> 00:20:19,793
Aah...! Flats!
431
00:20:19,896 --> 00:20:22,172
It's butt-kicking time.
432
00:20:22,275 --> 00:20:24,103
Gary, there's something
I want you to know.
433
00:20:24,206 --> 00:20:26,172
But I'm too scared
to remember what it is.
434
00:20:39,724 --> 00:20:40,931
Let's do it.
435
00:20:41,034 --> 00:20:42,275
Go away, Gary.
436
00:20:42,379 --> 00:20:45,379
I don't want you to see this,
it'll be ugly.
437
00:20:46,896 --> 00:20:48,068
Are you ready?
438
00:20:48,172 --> 00:20:49,517
Hold on.
439
00:20:50,758 --> 00:20:52,793
Okay, I'm ready.
440
00:20:58,344 --> 00:20:59,758
I said, I'm ready.
441
00:20:59,862 --> 00:21:00,862
Huh?
442
00:21:04,241 --> 00:21:05,344
Didn't you hear me?
443
00:21:05,448 --> 00:21:06,448
I said I'm ready.
444
00:21:08,413 --> 00:21:10,551
That tickled!
445
00:21:18,586 --> 00:21:20,482
Gary! I'm absorbing
his blows
446
00:21:20,586 --> 00:21:24,310
like I was made of some
kind of spongy material!
447
00:21:24,413 --> 00:21:26,620
And do you know what that means?
448
00:21:26,724 --> 00:21:29,068
I get to go to work tomorrow!
449
00:21:32,103 --> 00:21:33,586
Do you have any sevens?
450
00:22:00,379 --> 00:22:01,379
Flats? Are you okay?
451
00:22:04,517 --> 00:22:07,551
Do not cheer me, my
fellow adult classmates.
452
00:22:07,655 --> 00:22:09,965
Flats was the real victim here.
453
00:22:10,068 --> 00:22:11,344
A victim of a society
454
00:22:11,448 --> 00:22:14,655
that's riding down
a violent road to nowhere...
455
00:22:14,758 --> 00:22:17,344
a road I call "Violence Road."
456
00:22:17,448 --> 00:22:18,827
Sorry I'm late, class.
457
00:22:18,931 --> 00:22:20,931
I...
458
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,103
SpongeBob!
459
00:22:24,206 --> 00:22:27,724
I can't believe
you beat up a new student!
460
00:22:27,827 --> 00:22:31,793
I'm going to kick your butt!
461
00:22:33,724 --> 00:22:37,689
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
462
00:22:37,793 --> 00:22:40,206
and NICKELODEON
463
00:22:40,310 --> 00:22:44,896
[Captioned byThe Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]
31137
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