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1
00:00:05,681 --> 00:00:09,601
Ruffles straight from the shirt,
the way nature intended.
2
00:00:11,395 --> 00:00:13,480
- Where's the onion dip?
- In the auxiliary condiment shirt.
3
00:00:15,315 --> 00:00:18,068
Rogu, cream boy.
4
00:00:18,068 --> 00:00:20,070
I want to be cream boy!
5
00:00:20,070 --> 00:00:21,822
Then you should've shown up for tryouts.
6
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,532
Now, hush, Greg's on.
7
00:00:24,408 --> 00:00:26,326
Tonight, we look at blue zones,
8
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:28,245
the areas where people's
healthy lifestyles
9
00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:30,622
help them live longer than
anywhere else on Earth.
10
00:00:30,622 --> 00:00:32,833
Look at these gorgeous geezers.
11
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:35,794
I'm watching the Jason Statham movie,
Crank, on my phone.
12
00:00:35,794 --> 00:00:37,296
What? Me, too!
13
00:00:37,296 --> 00:00:39,631
- Statham's character, Chev Chelios...
- Chev Chelios.
14
00:00:39,631 --> 00:00:40,924
...is getting road head
15
00:00:40,924 --> 00:00:43,427
to keep his adrenaline up,
so he doesn't die.
16
00:00:43,427 --> 00:00:46,513
I pretty much just watch this
one scene over and over again.
17
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:49,099
I call it the "Erectus-cut."
18
00:00:49,099 --> 00:00:50,768
Quiet, fish!
19
00:00:50,768 --> 00:00:53,687
Blue zones include Sardinia,
Italy, Ikaria, Greece
20
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,814
and, of course,
Langley Falls, Virginia...
21
00:00:55,814 --> 00:00:57,316
Really?
22
00:00:57,316 --> 00:00:59,276
...is the complete
opposite of a blue zone.
23
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:02,696
Ared zone, a place where
you'll likely die at a young age.
24
00:01:04,114 --> 00:01:05,949
- My Crank!
- We're all gonna
25
00:01:05,949 --> 00:01:09,661
die soon, unless we live
like in one of these blue zones.
26
00:01:09,661 --> 00:01:13,832
Francine, blue zones are for two things.
The Blue Man and his group.
27
00:01:13,832 --> 00:01:16,210
Plus, I'm healthy as Babe the Blue Ox.
28
00:01:18,670 --> 00:01:22,299
Now let's race upstairs for a
very healthy roll in the hay.
29
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:23,801
Last one there is a rotten...
30
00:01:25,803 --> 00:01:29,765
Put the Bose headphones on, kids.
Francine, we'll have to do it here.
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00:01:33,268 --> 00:01:36,146
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
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00:01:36,146 --> 00:01:39,566
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
33
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:42,653
♪ The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face ♪
34
00:01:42,653 --> 00:01:46,406
♪ And he's shining a salute
To the American race ♪
35
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:52,329
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
36
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,581
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
37
00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:59,253
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
38
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:06,343
Please just try some
Mediterranean food, Stan.
39
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:08,428
This is how they
eat in blue zones.
40
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:11,431
There are too many colors on
my plate, Francine! It's blinding!
41
00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:12,558
Those are vegetables.
42
00:02:12,558 --> 00:02:15,018
I knew it! Health food!
43
00:02:15,018 --> 00:02:18,522
It's delicious,
and it'll help us live longer.
44
00:02:18,522 --> 00:02:22,359
Don't you wanna be around to do
all that stuff on your bucket list?
45
00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:24,069
Go on safari,
46
00:02:24,069 --> 00:02:28,282
see Ringo Starr & His All-Starr
Band, learn to play the bass?
47
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,908
I gave up on that years ago.
48
00:02:29,908 --> 00:02:32,286
Remember when I spent the
whole weekend learning the bass,
49
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:35,789
no matter how much I practiced, I
still couldn't play like Flea by Monday.
50
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,791
So no more wasting time, Francine.
51
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,752
Now I spend every day
living life to the fullest.
52
00:02:40,752 --> 00:02:43,255
Yeah, you do! Let's watch Crank!
53
00:02:43,255 --> 00:02:44,965
Start it up, my friend.
54
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:47,968
Sorry, but life's too short
to spend it trying to live longer.
55
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,471
These taste incredible today!
56
00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:54,725
Because I replaced them
with pita chips and baba ghanoush.
57
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,394
You tricked me! But baba ghanoush
58
00:02:57,394 --> 00:03:00,731
is a hilarious name,
and the taste doesn't lag far behind.
59
00:03:00,731 --> 00:03:01,815
Now, what's this?
60
00:03:05,569 --> 00:03:06,987
A falafel.
61
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:11,825
I guess maybe I could give
the Mediterranean diet a try.
62
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,083
You did a real 180 on
this Mediterranean stuff, Dad.
63
00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:22,502
That falafel really changed my life.
64
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:28,592
I can't believe you're allowed
to just walk to the grocery store!
65
00:03:28,592 --> 00:03:30,510
I didn't even
realize we were exercising.
66
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:35,432
Not only was the fishmonger a
type of man and not a type of monster,
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00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:37,601
he had whatever this thing is.
68
00:03:37,601 --> 00:03:39,686
This lifestyle makes us social.
69
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:42,856
Which is why
tonight we dine alfresco!
70
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:49,279
This is living. And this is
saganaki. Flaming Greek cheese!
71
00:03:49,279 --> 00:03:50,530
Opa!
72
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:56,453
Stan. Who are those guys over there?
73
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,330
Along with tons of olive oil,
74
00:03:58,330 --> 00:04:02,042
I imported these Mediterranean men
to make our social bonds authentic.
75
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:08,590
This one is my favorite.
Meet my best friend and mentor, Petros.
76
00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:15,639
Oh, Petros, your babbling is
filled with such Greek wisdom.
77
00:04:15,639 --> 00:04:16,640
Opa!
78
00:04:20,435 --> 00:04:21,979
What's this bullshit?
79
00:04:21,979 --> 00:04:25,732
It's called "bocce."
It takes an entire lifetime to master.
80
00:04:31,655 --> 00:04:33,991
We have wasted our lives.
81
00:04:33,991 --> 00:04:37,953
Let's go have a warm beer
in a tiny little glass.
82
00:04:44,793 --> 00:04:46,503
I love you.
83
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:50,757
I wonder if I need to buy
Petros a new little Greek vest?
84
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:55,512
Later, Stan, now let's go do
what married couples do best.
85
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:58,432
Oh, Stan!
86
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:00,475
O-pa!
87
00:05:06,982 --> 00:05:09,860
Wow, if we keep this lifestyle going,
88
00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:13,405
I really think we could be
adding years to our lives.
89
00:05:13,405 --> 00:05:16,533
It feels like we've been given
all this extra time to do...
90
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,201
My bucket list.
91
00:05:18,201 --> 00:05:22,539
Excuse the post coitus interruptus.
I have to call our lawyer.
92
00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:25,208
Rudy, I need to update
and expand my bucket list.
93
00:05:25,208 --> 00:05:26,626
How many witnesses do I need?
94
00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:29,713
None. It's not a legal document.
95
00:05:29,713 --> 00:05:31,882
Whatever you say, Rudy.
You're the family lawyer.
96
00:05:31,882 --> 00:05:34,551
Just write this down.
Meet Jason Statham.
97
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:39,056
See Ringo Starr's All-Starr Band.
Join Ringo Starr's All-Starr Band.
98
00:05:39,056 --> 00:05:42,976
Replace Ringo in
Ringo Stan's All-Stan Band.
99
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,565
Breakfast saganaki?
100
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:50,317
Opa it for me, would you?
101
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:53,737
I have to find Petros, tell him
about my new bucket list. Petros!
102
00:05:53,737 --> 00:05:55,989
Petros, my soul mate!
103
00:05:55,989 --> 00:06:00,577
There he is,
looks like someone partied too hard.
104
00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:01,995
You know what that means?
105
00:06:02,871 --> 00:06:03,997
This is gonna be good.
106
00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:07,084
Time to wake up, Petros.
107
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,763
Oh, my God, Petros is dead.
108
00:06:19,763 --> 00:06:22,933
No-pa!
109
00:06:22,934 --> 00:06:24,619
_
110
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:28,780
How could someone this
young die of natural causes?
111
00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:30,240
He was 96!
112
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:32,951
But he lived the most
Mediterranean lifestyle ever.
113
00:06:32,951 --> 00:06:36,997
My bucket list is huge. 96 years
will barely scratch the surface.
114
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,583
We're doing what we can
to live longer, Stan,
115
00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:41,418
but no one lives forever.
116
00:06:41,418 --> 00:06:42,669
♪ Wrong! ♪
117
00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:45,589
I will go beyond the
Mediterranean lifestyle.
118
00:06:45,589 --> 00:06:47,841
I will find a way to live forever.
119
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,760
I will defy death!
120
00:06:51,094 --> 00:06:54,014
Oh, Petros,
will your death ever stop hurting?
121
00:06:57,392 --> 00:07:01,104
"Run a marathon, try anal,
open a failing gastropub,
122
00:07:01,104 --> 00:07:03,982
get Gordon Ramsay to visit,
then trap him in the freezer."
123
00:07:03,982 --> 00:07:06,818
Truly, a bucket list to not die for.
124
00:07:06,818 --> 00:07:08,779
Kalamata olive, Stan?
125
00:07:08,779 --> 00:07:10,656
You know I'm trying to live forever
126
00:07:10,656 --> 00:07:13,116
and you offer me the very
things that killed Petros?
127
00:07:13,116 --> 00:07:16,119
Now be gone, ye harbinger of death.
128
00:07:16,119 --> 00:07:19,456
Oh, I guess now we aren't
saying goodbye. Real nice.
129
00:07:19,456 --> 00:07:24,544
Okay. Like a modern day wizard, I delve
into strange and arcane alchemies,
130
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:26,713
in search of eternal life.
131
00:07:27,638 --> 00:07:28,988
_
132
00:07:30,390 --> 00:07:30,996
_
133
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:36,014
Bullseye! Targeted ad.
This is why I always share my data.
134
00:07:36,014 --> 00:07:37,808
Ow! Roger, what was that?
135
00:07:37,808 --> 00:07:39,977
Your free injection of peptides.
136
00:07:39,977 --> 00:07:43,480
I'm told there are articles about
studies that claim it de-ages you.
137
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,983
Dr. Lee Vorever, bio hacker.
138
00:07:45,983 --> 00:07:51,154
Bio hacking is using high tech science on
your body to stop aging in it's tracks.
139
00:07:51,154 --> 00:07:53,532
Just another injection, not free.
140
00:07:53,532 --> 00:07:55,200
And this stuff is legit?
141
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,036
Of course. Why else would insane
Silicon Valley people do it?
142
00:07:58,036 --> 00:08:00,372
Stan, may I show you
a picture of a shark?
143
00:08:00,372 --> 00:08:02,374
All right. Just this once.
144
00:08:02,374 --> 00:08:05,377
The Greenland shark,
the longest living vertebrate on Earth,
145
00:08:05,377 --> 00:08:07,504
five hundo years old.
146
00:08:07,504 --> 00:08:08,672
Five hundo?
147
00:08:08,672 --> 00:08:11,425
But that's 500!
148
00:08:11,425 --> 00:08:14,886
Scientists are researching their
secrets to find a way to live forever.
149
00:08:14,886 --> 00:08:17,514
We need to keep you from aging,
so you're alive
150
00:08:17,514 --> 00:08:19,433
when the live forever tech is invented.
151
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:21,101
Then I can do my whole bucket list.
152
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,687
You can do it twice.
You'll be alive forever.
153
00:08:23,687 --> 00:08:26,440
You'll see the continents
form back into Pangea.
154
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,567
The rise of the mutant roach men.
155
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:31,528
Sounds great!
But will it turn my life upside down?
156
00:08:31,528 --> 00:08:34,698
No way. It works best if you
go about your normal life.
157
00:08:34,698 --> 00:08:36,408
You'll notice me as much as you notice
158
00:08:36,408 --> 00:08:39,786
the massive anal vitamin blast
I gave you mere moments ago.
159
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:41,621
Why I didn't notice that at all.
160
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,915
Wait. Sorry. I'm all mixed up.
Didn't do this one yet.
161
00:08:43,915 --> 00:08:45,125
Drop trou, bud.
162
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,510
Umby G!
163
00:08:46,548 --> 00:08:51,214
Umby G is short for Umberto Granaglia,
the greatest bocce player of all time.
164
00:08:51,214 --> 00:08:53,884
Don't need this in a longevity lab.
165
00:08:53,884 --> 00:08:57,471
Longevity lab?
That's my room, my clothes!
166
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,639
My bed!
167
00:09:01,433 --> 00:09:03,727
My Jeff! What the hell?
168
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:06,980
What have you done to my bedroom?
169
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,941
I need somewhere to put my
high tech longevity lab.
170
00:09:09,941 --> 00:09:11,318
What about your attic?
171
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,737
Be serious.
Where would I put all of Rogu's toys?
172
00:09:13,737 --> 00:09:16,990
We're all making sacrifices, Hayley.
You don't hear Steve complaining.
173
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,076
Daddy needs my young blood.
174
00:09:21,078 --> 00:09:23,789
Send that sweet blood
to my fingies, Steve.
175
00:09:23,789 --> 00:09:24,998
It's bass time.
176
00:09:26,917 --> 00:09:27,918
Ow!
177
00:09:27,918 --> 00:09:29,753
Hey, that's on my bucket list.
178
00:09:29,753 --> 00:09:32,631
No multitasking.
It ages you like nobody's business.
179
00:09:32,961 --> 00:09:35,092
We need single-minded focus.
180
00:09:35,092 --> 00:09:37,928
Dr. Weitzman,
any results for Stan's aging tests?
181
00:09:37,928 --> 00:09:40,263
Stan's aging 30% slower!
182
00:09:40,263 --> 00:09:44,101
It's working! Let's effing slow!
183
00:09:49,845 --> 00:09:51,977
_
184
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:59,866
From now on, you only eat highly
nutritious sludge. Tube him.
185
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,811
_
186
00:10:12,275 --> 00:10:14,799
_
187
00:10:16,299 --> 00:10:18,635
Oh, 1:00 p.m. You know what that means.
188
00:10:18,635 --> 00:10:19,803
- Lunch?
- Bedtime.
189
00:10:19,803 --> 00:10:21,638
You need your 14 hours of sleep.
190
00:10:21,638 --> 00:10:23,640
- Dog style.
- Doggy style?
191
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:24,724
Weitzman!
192
00:10:27,936 --> 00:10:30,188
At least he sleeps normally.
193
00:10:30,188 --> 00:10:31,773
Sorry, Franny. Forgot something.
194
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,652
- Ah!
- It's good for his REM cycle.
195
00:10:35,652 --> 00:10:39,072
- What about my REM cycle?
- Oh, no, it's real bad for that.
196
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,162
I haven't slept in weeks.
197
00:10:45,162 --> 00:10:49,875
We all want your dad to live longer,
but this bio hacking has got to stop.
198
00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:51,543
Yeah, he missed me
199
00:10:51,543 --> 00:10:54,379
winning the famous Roberto Benigni
Invitational Tournamentini.
200
00:10:54,379 --> 00:10:58,300
You're all jealous you're
not his special blood bo...
201
00:10:59,801 --> 00:11:01,386
Our life was so amazing.
202
00:11:01,386 --> 00:11:04,347
The string lights,
the falafel, the saganaki.
203
00:11:04,347 --> 00:11:08,435
The opas! That'll snap him out of it.
204
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,689
Sorry, Francine.
You can't come in the bubble.
205
00:11:12,689 --> 00:11:15,859
The air in here is filtered to
Dr. Vorever's specifications.
206
00:11:15,859 --> 00:11:19,905
But, Stan,
don't you remember the saganaki?
207
00:11:19,905 --> 00:11:21,823
The o-pa?
208
00:11:22,365 --> 00:11:23,366
The, opa?
209
00:11:23,366 --> 00:11:27,078
The, o-pa.
210
00:11:27,078 --> 00:11:30,707
A lot of Steve's blood is
rushing to my penis right now.
211
00:11:30,707 --> 00:11:33,043
But no, I can't. It could age me.
212
00:11:33,043 --> 00:11:35,629
Don't be silly, Stan.
Sex keeps you young.
213
00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:36,963
It's totally natural.
214
00:11:41,009 --> 00:11:42,552
Looking sexy, Stan.
215
00:11:42,552 --> 00:11:45,764
Blood oxygen, optimal.
Sperm motility, on target.
216
00:11:45,764 --> 00:11:48,099
Roger, are you watching us?
217
00:11:48,099 --> 00:11:51,394
Not watching. Monitoring.
Right, just like that, Stan.
218
00:11:51,394 --> 00:11:53,230
Heart rate a little high.
219
00:11:53,230 --> 00:11:56,107
Easy. Faster. No, slower.
220
00:11:56,107 --> 00:11:59,945
I forgot to tell you.
Under no circumstance, can you climax.
221
00:11:59,945 --> 00:12:02,072
Slow down, you're getting too close.
222
00:12:02,072 --> 00:12:03,657
Stan, stop! Abort!
223
00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:05,992
What is he doing?
Weitzman! Pull him out!
224
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,955
Get out of here, Weitzman!
225
00:12:12,249 --> 00:12:14,125
Dammit, Weitzman,
stop touching your face!
226
00:12:14,125 --> 00:12:15,418
You're getting it in your eyes.
227
00:12:15,418 --> 00:12:18,129
I thought I could pull
you back to reality,
228
00:12:18,129 --> 00:12:20,757
but now, I just feel stupid!
229
00:12:20,757 --> 00:12:24,302
I know it's been tough, but for me to
have a real chance to live forever...
230
00:12:24,302 --> 00:12:27,138
Enough with this living
forever nonsense.
231
00:12:27,138 --> 00:12:30,141
- You're acting like a lunatic!
- Says the harbinger of death.
232
00:12:30,141 --> 00:12:32,769
Stop calling me the harbinger of death!
233
00:12:32,769 --> 00:12:34,479
Harbinger of death says what?
234
00:12:34,479 --> 00:12:38,024
Stop, all this fighting is aging
you faster than a wartime president.
235
00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:40,443
It's critical we get you
away from all these stressors
236
00:12:40,443 --> 00:12:41,987
and into an isolation tent.
237
00:12:41,987 --> 00:12:43,363
We're almost at the finish line.
238
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:46,449
- The finish line, Francine.
- What finish line?
239
00:12:46,449 --> 00:12:48,827
- What finish line?
- I've finally been invited
240
00:12:48,827 --> 00:12:51,871
to hunt Greenland sharks in a
submersible off the coast of,
241
00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:53,707
and this is weird, Texas.
242
00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:56,459
We are this close to
unlocking eternal life.
243
00:12:56,459 --> 00:12:59,087
Francine, look how close
together his fingers are.
244
00:13:10,307 --> 00:13:13,476
I'm betting that if primo wife sex
245
00:13:13,476 --> 00:13:15,895
couldn't bring Stan back to his senses,
246
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:20,859
the only thing that can is the
taste of his other true love.
247
00:13:20,859 --> 00:13:21,985
Falafel.
248
00:13:21,985 --> 00:13:23,361
But how do we get it in his mouth?
249
00:13:23,361 --> 00:13:25,030
Glory hole.
250
00:13:25,030 --> 00:13:29,534
Roger always hides a secret
glory hole in anything he builds.
251
00:13:29,534 --> 00:13:31,828
But it won't be easy to find.
252
00:13:31,828 --> 00:13:33,455
- There it is!
- _
253
00:13:33,455 --> 00:13:36,583
Sweet souvlaki! I could bocce it
through the hole into his mouth.
254
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,796
Umberto Granaglia, guide my hand!
255
00:13:53,704 --> 00:13:54,768
Right in the kisser.
256
00:13:55,271 --> 00:13:56,853
What was that?
257
00:13:56,853 --> 00:14:01,191
Oh, no! It shot down his throat!
He didn't even taste it.
258
00:14:01,191 --> 00:14:04,986
Weird. An insulin spike
for some reason. I can fix that.
259
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:10,450
Now blood oxygen is dropping.
260
00:14:13,370 --> 00:14:16,956
Now I've got low T?
Enough pussyfooting. Let's do this.
261
00:14:21,002 --> 00:14:23,213
I'm gonna live forever!
262
00:14:27,676 --> 00:14:29,135
I was never here!
263
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:35,558
Stan, you pumped a lot of
horrible stuff into your body.
264
00:14:35,558 --> 00:14:39,312
Good news, there's more health
data on you than any patient ever.
265
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,897
Bad news, all that data
266
00:14:40,897 --> 00:14:44,401
shows you'll only live
for three more days.
267
00:14:45,193 --> 00:14:47,654
Three day weekend, baby!
268
00:14:50,699 --> 00:14:53,159
I only have three days left to live?
269
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:54,953
You can do it, Mr. S!
270
00:14:54,953 --> 00:14:57,080
There must be some way to save him.
271
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,582
The only thing that could help
is a transfusion with your son,
272
00:14:59,582 --> 00:15:01,584
but somehow he has almost no blood.
273
00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:04,003
Uh, a medical mystery.
274
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:05,338
Where's Roger?
275
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:08,174
- Could he help?
- I don't think so. Look!
276
00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:12,095
Dr. Vorever's submersible has
likely imploded in the ocean depths.
277
00:15:12,095 --> 00:15:14,431
Experts say the accident
was probably caused
278
00:15:14,431 --> 00:15:16,683
by a small circular
perforation in the hull.
279
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,017
Glory hole.
280
00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:20,186
I'll see you soon, Petros.
281
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:23,106
Wait, what if this is a Crank situation?
282
00:15:23,106 --> 00:15:24,357
What?
283
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,276
Raising my adrenaline
could let me live longer.
284
00:15:26,276 --> 00:15:27,819
It's worth a shot.
285
00:15:27,819 --> 00:15:30,280
Quick, Stan, parkour out the
window and steal a motorcycle!
286
00:15:33,616 --> 00:15:34,701
I think it's working!
287
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:44,127
That fall had you
unconscious for 48 hours.
288
00:15:44,127 --> 00:15:46,004
You have one more day to live.
289
00:15:46,004 --> 00:15:48,047
The Crank didn't work?
290
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:51,551
I tried and tried to get someone to give
you road head, but no one would do it.
291
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:59,009
How about we find some easy
things on your bucket list
292
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:01,228
we can do on your last day, Stan?
293
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:05,565
"Here's one, buy Wendy's spicy nuggets,
eat them in a McDonald's."
294
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:08,777
If there's no time to do all of it,
I don't want to do any of it.
295
00:16:08,777 --> 00:16:11,821
I'll spend my last day
experimenting with different ways
296
00:16:11,821 --> 00:16:13,657
to say, "Why me?"
297
00:16:16,326 --> 00:16:19,162
I just want him to at
least to die happy.
298
00:16:19,162 --> 00:16:20,455
Wait.
299
00:16:20,455 --> 00:16:22,707
What if there was a way
he could do all of it?
300
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,418
Why me?
301
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:28,797
Why me?
302
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,343
Jason Statham?
303
00:16:33,343 --> 00:16:35,595
Hi, Stan, I heard you're dying.
304
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,514
Oh, my God, he knows who I am.
305
00:16:37,514 --> 00:16:39,724
Not really, mate. Follow me.
306
00:16:45,855 --> 00:16:47,315
Wha... What is this?
307
00:16:47,315 --> 00:16:49,818
We're going to your bucketpalooza.
308
00:16:49,818 --> 00:16:51,653
Bucketpalooza?
309
00:16:51,653 --> 00:16:54,281
As in, an event where I get to do
everything on my bucket list today,
310
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:55,991
before I die?
311
00:16:55,991 --> 00:16:59,119
Yes, Klaus is finishing setting
it all up at the Shark's Nest.
312
00:17:02,005 --> 00:17:04,207
Here's your bucketpalooza map, Dad.
313
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,627
A safari, a bass master class.
314
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,379
Oi!
315
00:17:11,214 --> 00:17:15,552
Traffic jam,
like a bleeding car park it is.
316
00:17:15,552 --> 00:17:19,389
Lorries, bonnets and boot,
as far as the eye can see.
317
00:17:19,389 --> 00:17:21,558
Remind me again when you're dying.
318
00:17:21,558 --> 00:17:25,562
According to the data,
I pass away at 8:00 tonight.
319
00:17:25,562 --> 00:17:28,231
Ah, no rush then, it'll move.
320
00:17:33,445 --> 00:17:36,698
What if we do some things on your
bucket list, right here in the car?
321
00:17:37,052 --> 00:17:39,492
Are we on safari right now?
322
00:17:43,580 --> 00:17:47,751
Ooh! The Bellagio fountain show.
323
00:17:47,751 --> 00:17:50,170
Should I give Statham road head?
324
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:51,421
That's not on my bucket list!
325
00:17:51,421 --> 00:17:54,883
Maybe Klaus can put Ringo on FaceTime!
326
00:17:54,883 --> 00:17:59,179
Stan, Ringo's here!
Giving Ringo the phone now.
327
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,181
Here comes Ringo.
328
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,349
It hung up?
329
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:03,850
No!
330
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,602
Ringo, my phone died!
331
00:18:05,602 --> 00:18:08,271
We wasted my battery watching Crank.
332
00:18:08,271 --> 00:18:13,360
I wouldn't call it a waste, love.
I'd never seen the Erector's Cut.
333
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:16,446
Well, at least you got to
see Klaus one last time.
334
00:18:22,952 --> 00:18:25,914
Chin up, mate.
At least you met me before you died.
335
00:18:25,914 --> 00:18:27,791
Oh, Mr. Statham!
336
00:18:27,791 --> 00:18:30,585
Please, call me, Chev Chelios.
337
00:18:30,585 --> 00:18:33,880
I'm not crying because I didn't
get to do my bucket list.
338
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:39,636
It's because my family did so much
for me and I treated them so badly.
339
00:18:39,636 --> 00:18:43,807
Look, I never wrote one thing on
this stupid list about my family.
340
00:18:43,807 --> 00:18:45,392
Why don't we change that,
341
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:48,853
using this "Chaos Pen"
Sly Stallone gave me?
342
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,481
Worth 60K.
343
00:18:51,481 --> 00:18:54,359
In fact, you can keep it,
I'll get it back when you die.
344
00:18:55,652 --> 00:18:57,320
Cancel the bucketpalooza.
345
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,490
I can finish my new
bucket list right here.
346
00:19:00,491 --> 00:19:02,272
_
347
00:19:02,867 --> 00:19:04,327
- Aw!
- Oi.
348
00:19:04,994 --> 00:19:06,496
Look, we're moving again.
349
00:19:08,832 --> 00:19:10,834
I wonder what caused all that traffic.
350
00:19:12,711 --> 00:19:15,672
Roger? Chev Chelios, pull over!
351
00:19:15,672 --> 00:19:17,799
Stan, it's the most amazing story.
352
00:19:17,799 --> 00:19:21,344
After the sub imploded,
I was saved by a Greenland shark.
353
00:19:21,344 --> 00:19:24,472
It almost felt bad to turn around
and imprison him immediately,
354
00:19:24,472 --> 00:19:25,932
but it was for money.
355
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:28,935
I'm sorry I can't muster more
excitement for your story.
356
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:31,771
It's just that I'm dying in two hours.
357
00:19:33,189 --> 00:19:35,942
You ain't dying, Stan.
That's Greenland shark juice.
358
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,486
I distilled its life extending power.
359
00:19:38,486 --> 00:19:39,946
Who wants to live forever?
360
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,448
- Me!
- Me too!
361
00:19:41,728 --> 00:19:42,782
Me!
362
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,951
- Hang on. I wanna watch!
- Me too!
363
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,040
Greenland shark?
364
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,337
I don't know what to tell you, Stan.
365
00:19:56,337 --> 00:19:58,798
Somehow,
you're suddenly as healthy as a...
366
00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,425
Greenland shark?
367
00:20:00,425 --> 00:20:04,971
What? No, as healthy as someone
who just met Jason Statham.
368
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:09,768
I'm confident you're going
to live a long, long, long...
369
00:20:09,769 --> 00:20:11,330
_
370
00:20:15,064 --> 00:20:16,983
Stan?
371
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:21,571
Stan, is that you? Wow, you're still
alive! That's shark juice for ya!
372
00:20:22,071 --> 00:20:23,656
New Pangea.
373
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:26,326
How you liking it? Mutant roach
men are kind of a bitch, huh?
374
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:27,994
I miss my family.
375
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:31,456
Yeah. On the bright side,
that roach man kind of looks like Steve.
376
00:20:38,421 --> 00:20:40,381
Huh. Yeah, a little bit.
377
00:20:40,381 --> 00:20:41,883
You ever get
around to learning bass?
378
00:20:41,883 --> 00:20:44,427
Uh, does this
answer your question?
379
00:20:56,511 --> 00:20:57,593
Have a great night!
380
00:21:00,241 --> 00:21:02,157
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