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1
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This is so beautiful.
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You know it, Gary.
3
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Look at her.
4
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Do you know what I would like to do?
5
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Shower with them.
6
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Then, bang! We hit the city, baby, dead on.
7
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For a little drinks, a little nightlife, a little dancing.
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Dancing.
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We throw a huge party, I mean, huge party.
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Everybody's invited, women everywhere.
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All these girls, they're all there.
12
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- Naked bodies everywhere. - Gary.
13
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- They all know my name. - Gary!
14
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- What? - Nobody likes us. Nobody.
15
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Why are you messing with the fantasy?
16
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We know about the reality. Don't ruin the fantasy, OK?
17
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And then, we're hip, man. We're popular. We're revered.
18
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- Man... - We're studs.
19
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When the smoke clears, right,
20
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those two dames
21
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fall amazingly, completely and totally in love with us, Wyatt.
22
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Check it out.
23
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Yo! Check us out!
24
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Look, we're sorry about...
25
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'Down. Down, you fool."
26
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You know, this isn't very scary, Gary.
27
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"I Spit On Your Grave" is scary. This is, um...
28
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It's very mild. It's timid, you know.
29
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The old stuff is more funny than scary.
30
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I believe the word is "camp". It's campy.
31
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"The moon's rising. We've no time to lose.'
32
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You ever see "Dawn of the Dead"? "Dawn of the Dead" scared me.
33
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It really scared me. I slept with my parents for a week, OK?
34
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I had to call my grandmother in the night
35
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to discuss my childhood with her for three hours.
36
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I was really petrified.
37
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'He's just resting, waiting for a new life to come.'
38
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That would've been so much cooler if Dr. Frankenstein had made a girl.
39
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Don't burn the butter, alright? Ticks me off.
40
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I mean... I personally would've made a girl, you know.
41
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They did make a girl, "The Bride of Frankenstein".
42
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- I think it was released in '35. - It was '34, alright?
43
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She was a scag, Wyatt, she had, like, electric hair.
44
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If they made her beautiful, she wouldn't go out with the monster.
45
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That's a good point.
46
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'...his insane ambition to create life.
47
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- Where'd your parents go, anyway? - Cincinnati.
48
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They're meeting the guy that my sister wants to marry.
49
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Chloe? Who the hell would marry Chloe?
50
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He's studying to be a vet.
51
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Try not to make a mess in there, Gary. The maid doesn't come till Monday.
52
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I don't understand something, Wyatt.
53
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How come your parents trust you? They never let you do shit before.
54
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Chet's coming home from college for the weekend. They trust him.
55
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He's in charge.
56
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Chet? Oh, shit!
57
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I can't believe this, Wyatt.
58
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I really wish that you told me this before I agreed to sleep over.
59
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You know how I feel about Chet. How do you put up with that guy?
60
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If I don't, he beats the shit out of me.
61
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It's a habit he picked up in military school.
62
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How do you put up with that putz?
63
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What can I say? He's very protective of me.
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Nice relationship.
65
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'...there you have his mad dream.
66
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'Look! There's nothing to fear.
67
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‘Look... no blood, no decay, just a few stitches.
68
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'Go on. Fix the electrodes.
69
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"You'll have plenty to be afraid of before the night's over.
70
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"The storm will be magnificent.
71
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'All the electrical secrets of heaven.
72
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‘And this time we're ready. Hey, Fritz?
73
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'Let's have one final test. Throw the switches.'
74
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'Here in this machine, I have discovered the great ray
75
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'that first brought life into the world.
76
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'And, look, here's the final touch.
77
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"The brain you stole, Fritz. Think of it.
78
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"The brain of a dead man waiting to live again
79
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'in a body I made with my own hands...'
80
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- You know, that's not a bad idea. - What?
81
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'In 15 minutes, the storm should be at its height...'
82
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Making a girl.
83
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Actually making a girl.
84
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Just like Frankenstein.
85
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Except cuter.
86
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- You're serious. - Yes.
87
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Look me in the eyes.
88
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Do I look serious?
89
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- 'You're crazy!" - 'Crazy, am I?
90
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‘We'll see whether I'm crazy or not.'
91
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:53,473
Gary Wallace, that's absolutely gross. That's sick.
92
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I'm not digging up dead girls. It's...
93
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No, I'm not talking about digging up a dead girl, Wyatt.
94
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I'm talking about your system, idiot. Your computer.
95
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OK, you know how you're always talking how you can simulate all that stuff
96
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on your computer, you know?
97
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What's the difference? Why can't we simulate a girl?
98
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I don't know. I guess I could, but why?
99
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It's two-dimensional on the screen. It's not flesh and blood, Gary.
100
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I know that, but we can use it, Wyatt. We can ask it questions.
101
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We can put it in real-life sexual situations and see how it reacts.
102
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Like real sick, demented shit. You'd love it.
103
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Well, what about your girl in, um... Canada?
104
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She lives in Canada. This girl has no morals. I don't like that in a girl.
105
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It's rough having those kind of relationships. You'll see.
106
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Anyway, get to work.
107
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Very nice.
108
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I'm telling you, Wyatt. If there's one thing I know, it's female stats.
109
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Anything bigger than a handful, you're risking a sprained tongue.
110
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You know, and...
111
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- Yeah. - Yeah.
112
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- Perfect. - OK. Now what?
113
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Should we give her a brain?
114
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- Yeah. We can play chess with her. - Chess?
115
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Just give her a brain, OK?
116
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OK, that's about all we can do with my stuff.
117
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I can't believe this shit. I can't believe this.
118
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Did you get a free toaster with this, too?
119
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Gary, it's smarter than you, OK?
120
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- The problem is, it's a lame idea, OK? - It's not a lame idea.
121
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The problem is your computer's a wimp and we need a lot more power than this.
122
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What do you suggest?
123
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'We have code penetration, we have program entry.
124
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'I repeat, we have code penetration, we have program entry.
125
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‘Activate LAN trace.'
126
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We're in.
127
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We're in trouble, Gary.
128
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This is highly illegal.
129
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Well, you need more input. We got to fill this thing up with data.
130
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We gotta make her as real as possible, Wyatt.
131
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I want her to live, I want her to breathe.
132
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I want her to aerobicize.
133
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"It's live! All Dave, all night!
134
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"We know what you need. Only right here on Dave TV!"
135
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Look at this. It's moving, it's working. It's doing itself.
136
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It's working by itself.
137
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- Gary?
138
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By the way, why are we wearing bras on our heads?
139
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Ceremonial.
140
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- You ready? - Yeah. Let's go.
141
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- Turn it off! - It is off!
142
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Hang up the phone!
143
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- Wyatt, what's going on? - I don't know!
144
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- Well, unplug it!
145
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Oh, shit!
146
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No! It was a birthday present!
147
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Oh, shit!
148
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- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!
149
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Oh, shit! We got to get this thing out of your house!
150
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You get it out! It was your idea!
151
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This is all your fault, you son of a bitch!
152
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Hit the lights out! You get it out!
153
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I'll get it out!
154
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- Whoa! - Aargh!
155
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Ah, shit!
156
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One, two, three.
157
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'She's alive. Alive!"
158
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So... what would you little maniacs like to do first?
159
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You guys created me. I didn't come from anywhere.
160
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Before you started messing around with your computer, I didn't even exist.
161
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By the way... you did an excellent job. Thank you.
162
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Hello?
163
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Showering's real fun, isn't it?
164
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If we're going to have any kind of fun together,
165
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you guys had better loosen up.
166
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What are we going to do with her?
167
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:57,874
Look... we'll just go with the situation, OK?
168
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I'm sure by Sunday, you'll think of something.
169
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You're a very bright guy. I have a lot of faith in you, OK?
170
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- Alright? - I'm just being practical.
171
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Well, I know you are, OK? And I appreciate it.
172
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Let's go.
173
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What are we going to do about this mess?
174
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:15,057
Wyatt, you'll have plenty of time to clean up tomorrow, OK?
175
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OK, but don't get any B.O. on Chet's suit, or he'll kill me.
176
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- Where are we going, anyway? - I dunno.
177
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She said we're going to go downtown... Oh, my God! Whose stuff is this?
178
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- Is that your suit? Wait, is this yours? - Oh, shit.
179
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:32,992
Holy shit! Wyatt, what's going on here?
180
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- Gary, I don't know! - I don't know what's going on here!
181
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You look good, though, alright?
182
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:37,955
- Yeah? - Yeah.
183
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:48,174
- So, did you steal this car? - No, I didn't steal the car.
184
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How'd you get it?
185
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I can get anything I want.
186
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- And right now, I want to party. - Party?
187
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Yeah, and you better think up a name for me, too.
188
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,188
What name do you want?
189
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You guys created me, you think of a name for me.
190
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,026
How about Lisa?
191
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,569
Why Lisa?
192
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Why not?
193
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:16,410
- He used to like a girl named Lisa. - Oh, yeah? Old girlfriend?
194
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She kicked him in the nuts.
195
00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:21,749
Will you shut up?
196
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,961
Look, Gary, it wasn't your fault. All you said was hello to her.
197
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:27,129
Yeah, look, Wyatt, shut up!
198
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:32,218
Hey, guys, I like Lisa. That'll do just fine.
199
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OK, you guys ready to rock?
200
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- Ready. - Ready.
201
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:06,210
- Lisa? - Yeah?
202
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:12,049
- I don't think we belong here. - Don't be silly. It's a public place.
203
00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:19,891
Look, I'm sure we'd both love to stay, but we're not 21, so I think...
204
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You're 21. You're 21.
205
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,859
Well, maybe you'd feel better if you just got out there and mingled.
206
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We don't mingle, OK?
207
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:35,990
Well, maybe you'd be comfortable if I invited all these people
208
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back to your house and we could all mingle there.
209
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- We'll mingle. - We'll mingle.
210
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,628
Hi, dudes.
211
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Well, goddamn!
212
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,687
Listening to this blues music reminds me
213
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of my own trials and tribulations as a young guy and, uh...
214
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:14,153
You know, my folks, they really, really dump on me. They really do.
215
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So, you guys get along with your parents?
216
00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:24,246
I guess you guys moved out by now though, huh?
217
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- Uh, what's this, sir? - Drink it.
218
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,465
Uh...
219
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:38,094
That's a very sweet thought of both you gentlemen, but I really don't...
220
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Until now.
221
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See you guys in the emergency room, huh?
222
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,900
Hello, pretty lady. Tell me something.
223
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What's a beautiful broad like you doing with a malaka like this, huh?
224
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It's purely sexual.
225
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No shit.
226
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:04,161
She's into malakas, Dino.
227
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She's into malakas! Do you believe that?
228
00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:18,968
You can say that again!
229
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:40,823
Fats, man... let me tell you my story, man.
230
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Last year, I was insane for this crazy little 8th-grade bitch.
231
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- Crazy insane?
232
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- Insane? - Crazy?
233
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I was nuts for the woman, man.
234
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Now you gotta believe me, I'm telling the truth here.
235
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I'm speaking to you. I mean, I was nuts for the girl.
236
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,553
And what did it to me was these big titties she had.
237
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For a 13-year-old girl, man!
238
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She wouldn't have had to worry about no titties for the rest of her life, boy.
239
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You know, she was set and she was looking good.
240
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That's the truth, baby.
241
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I called her every night for, like, a month.
242
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I mean, I'm talking devotion, man.
243
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Every damn night?
244
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Every night, Mitch. I ain't playing with you.
245
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On the telephone?
246
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What's this boy talking about, on the telephone, man?
247
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Explain it to him.
248
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,831
Goddamn. We know there's a telephone, boy!
249
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:34,168
- What the hell he think I'm doing? - But he hung up on her.
250
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:37,254
Oh, you didn't hang up on her? The chick with those big, big titties?
251
00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:41,133
I hung up on the bitch. Now here's the capper.
252
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:43,636
- You know what the bitch did to me? - Lay it on me.
253
00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:46,180
Check this shit out. Listen to what she did to me. She...
254
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:50,101
She kneed you in the nuts and called him faggot in front of everybody.
255
00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:52,311
- She did what? - Bitch kneed your nuts?
256
00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:53,646
Bitch kneed my nuts!
257
00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:56,065
Bitch. I'm not playing with you. I ain't teasing, man.
258
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:59,026
- In the family jewels? - In the family jewels, man.
259
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,946
- Worst pain there is. - Broke my heart in two.
260
00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:06,117
- She broke more than your heart. - You're right there, baby.
261
00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:08,119
You can forget that other one.
262
00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,496
You got this fine jewel sitting right over here by you.
263
00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:13,415
- Yeah. - Ain't that the truth, baby?
264
00:22:13,541 --> 00:22:16,919
- That's the plain truth... - Uh-oh, there he goes!
265
00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:23,634
- Party's over. - Party's over, said the girl.
266
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:27,304
I'm gonna get out of here. I got money for you right here. $50 for you.
267
00:22:31,809 --> 00:22:35,062
- I got $500 that boy won't make it. - I bet he's gonna make it.
268
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,658
You know, I really shouldn't be driving.
269
00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:51,495
Hey, listen, I appreciate it. You know, I really just don't feel like driving.
270
00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:55,791
OK, forget it. I'll drive. Give me the keys!
271
00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:57,918
Give me the keys!
272
00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:00,129
Is he going to be all right?
273
00:23:00,254 --> 00:23:03,132
I don't know. I warned him about that Blind Dog bourbon.
274
00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:06,385
Hey, he don't even have his license, Lisa.
275
00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:09,263
He's not lying. I don't even have a learner's permit.
276
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,849
Hey, let's scout another party, man.
277
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:15,227
What are you gonna tell Chet about me?
278
00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:16,937
Nothing.
279
00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:18,689
Nothing?
280
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:20,900
That's not very realistic, Wyatt.
281
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:24,862
Look, I don't know. I'm just trying to concentrate on the road.
282
00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:28,908
You better concentrate a little harder. You're about to run a red light.
283
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:30,951
Oh, shit!
284
00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:42,171
I hate that boy! I always hated that shit!
285
00:23:42,296 --> 00:23:45,549
I never listen to him! I hate this car! I hate it!
286
00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:47,092
Are you OK?
287
00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:52,765
Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I'm perfect!
288
00:23:53,641 --> 00:23:56,268
You better think of what you're going to do about Chet.
289
00:23:56,393 --> 00:23:58,687
He's one serious idiot.
290
00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:01,106
You're stewed, butt wad!
291
00:24:02,566 --> 00:24:03,943
Who, me?
292
00:24:04,068 --> 00:24:05,945
Know what time it is?
293
00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:08,322
Um... 2:00?
294
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,658
Time to pay the fiddler.
295
00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:21,085
Um... I was kind of counting on you to be human about this.
296
00:24:27,424 --> 00:24:29,635
Here's the bottom line, Wyatt.
297
00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:33,180
I'm telling Mom and Dad everything.
298
00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:37,268
I'm even considering making up some shit.
299
00:24:39,019 --> 00:24:40,854
Alright, Chet, name your price.
300
00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:45,901
$175 and zero cents, cash.
301
00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:50,447
New bills, crisp and clean, in my wallet by 7:00 a.m.
302
00:24:51,782 --> 00:24:53,075
Thank you.
303
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,287
Hey, what are big brothers for?
304
00:24:57,663 --> 00:24:59,498
See you upstairs.
305
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:03,002
- I don't need you. - Shh!
306
00:25:09,383 --> 00:25:11,260
The boozehounds return.
307
00:25:12,303 --> 00:25:14,138
What a joke!
308
00:25:14,263 --> 00:25:15,889
Hi, girls.
309
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:29,320
Feeling kind of queasy?
310
00:25:29,445 --> 00:25:35,534
How about... a nice greasy pork sandwich
311
00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:38,287
served in a dirty ashtray?
312
00:25:49,089 --> 00:25:51,342
He pukes, you die.
313
00:25:52,468 --> 00:25:54,595
He's not laughing at you, Chet. It's just...
314
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,764
Yes, I am.
315
00:25:56,889 --> 00:26:00,100
Did you tell Chet about...? Did he tell you about the woman we made tonight?
316
00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:02,895
He's obviously had it. He doesn't know what he's talking about.
317
00:26:03,020 --> 00:26:06,565
- No shit? - No shit, Chet. No shit.
318
00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:10,194
You two donkey dicks couldn't get laid in a morgue.
319
00:26:10,319 --> 00:26:12,446
You're right. You are absolutely right.
320
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:15,157
- You're absolutely right, Chet... - Get him outta here.
321
00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:17,493
- What? - Come on.
322
00:26:29,338 --> 00:26:32,341
Cold-blooded shit he is. He's an asshole.
323
00:26:32,466 --> 00:26:35,844
Look at his haircut. Anybody with a haircut like that you know is an asshole...
324
00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:56,407
Psst! Lisa.
325
00:26:59,118 --> 00:27:01,120
Where are you?
326
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:05,040
I'm right behind you.
327
00:27:08,669 --> 00:27:10,087
Surprise!
328
00:27:18,220 --> 00:27:20,055
I'm not going to hurt you, you silly thing.
329
00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:22,933
I mean, your lips. They feel like rigor mortis has set in.
330
00:27:23,058 --> 00:27:26,270
Why don't you try and relax a little bit? I'm only kissing you.
331
00:27:28,021 --> 00:27:31,191
I wasn't expecting you to kiss me. I was just...
332
00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:45,747
That was better.
333
00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:49,960
Want to try it again?
334
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:54,131
If you don't mind. I mean, yes, please, ma'am.
335
00:28:12,983 --> 00:28:17,321
- You sure you're only 15? - I'll be 16 in June.
336
00:28:19,239 --> 00:28:20,866
You made me.
337
00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:23,160
You control me.
338
00:28:28,582 --> 00:28:31,919
What's on your mind? What are you thinking about, huh?
339
00:28:32,044 --> 00:28:33,253
Um...
340
00:28:34,296 --> 00:28:36,256
Women's gymnastics.
341
00:28:37,758 --> 00:28:40,260
Well, I don't know. I'll do my best.
342
00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:42,971
Good.
343
00:29:19,675 --> 00:29:24,513
Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt, where are you?
344
00:29:24,638 --> 00:29:27,724
- I'm right here, Gary. - Wyatt, what happened?
345
00:29:27,849 --> 00:29:29,476
I don't know.
346
00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:31,562
I think it was a dream.
347
00:29:34,314 --> 00:29:35,482
What?
348
00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:37,651
Everything. Last night. Lisa.
349
00:29:37,776 --> 00:29:39,861
The whole thing, it had to be a dream.
350
00:29:39,987 --> 00:29:43,448
It can't be a dream, Wyatt. We were both in it.
351
00:29:43,574 --> 00:29:46,201
How can two people have the same dream?
352
00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:49,413
There's no other explanation. It had to be a dream.
353
00:29:49,538 --> 00:29:52,583
Wait, let's analyze this. Alright, in your dream...
354
00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:56,211
did I get up in the middle of the night and yak in your sink?
355
00:29:57,337 --> 00:30:00,674
Didn't throw up. No. Nothing. You didn't see anything.
356
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:02,843
Maybe it was a dream, you know.
357
00:30:03,719 --> 00:30:07,389
A very weird, bizarre, vivid...
358
00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:13,061
...erotic, wet, detailed dream.
359
00:30:14,688 --> 00:30:16,231
Maybe we have malaria.
360
00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:18,108
Shit.
361
00:30:25,866 --> 00:30:29,453
Gary! Wyatt! Breakfast!
362
00:30:33,749 --> 00:30:36,960
Look, I don't have the kind of bucks it would take to pay Chet off about this.
363
00:30:37,085 --> 00:30:38,754
Yo, Wyatt! Coffee!
364
00:30:38,879 --> 00:30:42,424
You can't live in fear of Chet for the rest of your life.
365
00:30:42,549 --> 00:30:44,509
Why not? Just please...
366
00:30:46,928 --> 00:30:51,391
I don't know, Wyatt. I mean, it's seriously affecting your sex life.
367
00:30:51,516 --> 00:30:55,395
Ten seconds into my gymnastics routine, you passed out.
368
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:56,980
You slept.
369
00:30:58,023 --> 00:30:59,566
I did my toes.
370
00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:02,402
By the way, you're very cute.
371
00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:05,238
We'll try it again some other time, OK?
372
00:31:08,992 --> 00:31:12,162
- Good morning, turd brain. - Hi, Chet.
373
00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:21,338
- You spit in this? - Not that I'm aware of, no.
374
00:31:22,422 --> 00:31:24,549
Hey, that looks pretty good.
375
00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:32,933
Now make yourself one, dick weed.
376
00:31:39,773 --> 00:31:42,109
I like your panties.
377
00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:45,570
- It's a joke, Chet. You know, it's all...
378
00:31:45,696 --> 00:31:49,658
That's not a joke! That is a severe behavioral disorder.
379
00:31:49,783 --> 00:31:52,285
Those are women's underpants!
380
00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:55,122
The next thing you know, you'll be wearing a bra on your head.
381
00:31:56,415 --> 00:31:59,668
The old man's gonna have a stroke on this one for sure.
382
00:32:00,961 --> 00:32:03,004
Alright, Chet. How much?
383
00:32:03,130 --> 00:32:04,506
How much?
384
00:32:04,631 --> 00:32:08,051
Oh, this goes way beyond payment, pal.
385
00:32:08,176 --> 00:32:10,053
Come on, Chet. Please?
386
00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:13,306
Well...
387
00:32:15,934 --> 00:32:18,228
Your VCR should cover it.
388
00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:20,355
For openers.
389
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:21,898
Thank you.
390
00:32:22,691 --> 00:32:25,694
For Christ's sakes, will you cover yourself?
391
00:32:45,672 --> 00:32:49,301
You guys looking for something for your mom?
392
00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:53,889
I really don't think so... Sue.
393
00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:59,186
You guys have, uh... girlfriends?
394
00:32:59,311 --> 00:33:02,230
You know, Sue, one does really not refer
395
00:33:02,355 --> 00:33:05,150
to a 23-year-old woman as a girlfriend.
396
00:33:05,776 --> 00:33:08,069
- A mistress, Gar. - Mistress.
397
00:33:08,195 --> 00:33:10,071
- Lover. - Sexpot.
398
00:33:10,197 --> 00:33:12,407
She's a sexpot is what she is.
399
00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:17,496
You guys are the ones that got beat up at the homecoming game, right?
400
00:33:17,621 --> 00:33:19,247
Hmm...
401
00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:26,463
Uh... Susan, do you think you could wrap up a bottle of this scent for me?
402
00:33:26,588 --> 00:33:29,299
- I like this. - Um... two.
403
00:33:29,424 --> 00:33:31,885
And why don't you set yourself up with one of them, too.
404
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:35,263
Set yourself up. That's three scents, please.
405
00:33:35,388 --> 00:33:38,600
- If you were a 15-year-old boy... - Hmm...
406
00:33:39,392 --> 00:33:42,020
- ...would these turn you on? - Hmm...?
407
00:33:43,063 --> 00:33:45,649
I think so, too. I'll take them.
408
00:33:52,447 --> 00:33:55,659
Uh... do you have a bra to match that?
409
00:33:55,784 --> 00:33:58,745
Something in leather or rubber, or barb wire?
410
00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,831
Give me a break.
411
00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:05,293
Check it out. Check it out.
412
00:34:05,418 --> 00:34:06,711
What?
413
00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:12,759
Five bucks?
414
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:14,302
Finsky.
415
00:34:16,972 --> 00:34:18,807
Max, what are you gonna do?
416
00:34:23,144 --> 00:34:25,647
- You know what, Gar? - Hmm?
417
00:34:25,772 --> 00:34:29,484
For the first time in my life, I don't feel like a total dick.
418
00:34:29,609 --> 00:34:31,111
Yeah, me either.
419
00:34:43,164 --> 00:34:45,792
Sorry, boys. Momentary loss of motor nerves.
420
00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:49,170
Getting tired of this? We're not. But I'll tell you, there is a cure.
421
00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:52,132
Rumor has it, there's a big white sale going on.
422
00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:54,426
- At Towel World! - Towel World!
423
00:34:55,468 --> 00:34:57,679
- We're not impressed. - No.
424
00:35:04,144 --> 00:35:06,438
Can I have some of that, please?
425
00:35:08,857 --> 00:35:10,859
You know I'm getting really bored of their shit.
426
00:35:10,984 --> 00:35:13,778
- Well, do you wanna dump them? - I don't know.
427
00:35:13,904 --> 00:35:17,490
We have been with them three months. We've been to the parties, met the people.
428
00:35:17,616 --> 00:35:20,243
We won't go to any more parties and we won't meet any more people.
429
00:35:20,368 --> 00:35:22,370
We'll go into a social coma.
430
00:35:23,413 --> 00:35:24,831
- Sorry. - Sorry.
431
00:35:24,956 --> 00:35:26,374
We're sorry.
432
00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:29,544
- Wanna give them another chance?
433
00:35:30,754 --> 00:35:32,505
- Will you forgive us? - Please.
434
00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:34,507
Oh, you guys.
435
00:35:35,216 --> 00:35:37,636
What are we gonna do with you?
436
00:36:11,169 --> 00:36:13,213
- Excuse me! - Get outta my way!
437
00:36:14,255 --> 00:36:16,007
We got her, we got her, we got her.
438
00:36:25,976 --> 00:36:27,394
Hey!
439
00:36:33,733 --> 00:36:34,943
Hey!
440
00:36:35,694 --> 00:36:36,903
Hi.
441
00:36:39,322 --> 00:36:41,491
- That's lan. - This is Max.
442
00:36:42,575 --> 00:36:44,619
We call him Mad Max.
443
00:36:46,162 --> 00:36:48,623
- We saw you on the escalator. - Yeah.
444
00:36:49,666 --> 00:36:52,127
Yeah, you were looking at us, right?
445
00:36:52,252 --> 00:36:53,753
Yeah.
446
00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:03,346
- So what are you doing? - Nothing. I'm waiting for my ride.
447
00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:21,239
Lis, come on, hon. We're running late.
448
00:37:21,364 --> 00:37:23,324
Honey, move.
449
00:37:23,992 --> 00:37:25,827
Speak to you later.
450
00:37:36,504 --> 00:37:40,383
She likes the rough stuff. What can I do, you know?
451
00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:48,850
By the way, there's a party tonight at Wyatt's house.
452
00:37:48,975 --> 00:37:53,146
You can find his name in the students' directory under Donnelly.
453
00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:54,856
Pass the word around.
454
00:37:59,319 --> 00:38:00,820
Party?
455
00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:10,163
Don't ask.
456
00:38:12,290 --> 00:38:14,459
Wyatt, you're gonna have a heart attack by the time you're 40
457
00:38:14,584 --> 00:38:16,920
if you don't learn to relax.
458
00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:19,297
Have you tried inversion boots?
459
00:38:20,173 --> 00:38:23,134
Lisa, you don't understand my parents.
460
00:38:24,469 --> 00:38:26,179
What's there to understand?
461
00:38:26,304 --> 00:38:29,724
They're oppressive, meddlesome, difficult, demanding and totally bizarre.
462
00:38:29,849 --> 00:38:31,643
I mean, they're normal parents.
463
00:38:31,768 --> 00:38:34,521
Now stop worrying and go and get dressed.
464
00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:37,982
Lisa, I created you.
465
00:38:38,108 --> 00:38:40,819
Why do you do insist on doing things I don't want?
466
00:38:40,944 --> 00:38:43,530
Honey buns, you want to party so badly, you could bottle it.
467
00:38:43,655 --> 00:38:45,949
I mean, you and Gary, you want friends, you want popularity,
468
00:38:46,074 --> 00:38:47,867
you want all that stuff, right?
469
00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:50,703
Well, I've thought about it, sure, but...
470
00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:54,332
So I'm giving it to you.
471
00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:57,877
Thank you, really, thank you.
472
00:38:58,002 --> 00:39:00,588
But I don't want it in my house.
473
00:39:00,713 --> 00:39:04,342
If you want to be a party animal, you have to learn to live in the jungle.
474
00:39:04,467 --> 00:39:06,970
Now stop worrying and go and get dressed.
475
00:39:07,095 --> 00:39:09,556
I'm going to go and pick up Gary.
476
00:39:09,681 --> 00:39:12,016
I can't wait to meet his parents.
477
00:39:20,066 --> 00:39:22,485
Do you go to Gary's school?
478
00:39:24,487 --> 00:39:27,448
Do I look like I'm in high school?
479
00:39:27,574 --> 00:39:28,825
No.
480
00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:33,288
Well, what it is, Dad, she's a foreign exchange student, you know,
481
00:39:33,413 --> 00:39:36,332
and they have, like, a different educational system around the world.
482
00:39:36,457 --> 00:39:38,084
You look very, er...
483
00:39:39,460 --> 00:39:40,879
...mature.
484
00:39:41,004 --> 00:39:45,216
Doesn't she? That's funny you say that cos I was thinking the same thing.
485
00:39:45,341 --> 00:39:46,926
And what happened was that, uh...
486
00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:49,137
So what do you do for a living, Al?
487
00:39:49,679 --> 00:39:51,973
I'm an independent businessman.
488
00:39:52,098 --> 00:39:56,561
Al... Dad... My dad's a plumber. And he's into plumbing.
489
00:39:56,686 --> 00:39:59,147
And, well, I guess you plumb, right, Dad?
490
00:40:00,148 --> 00:40:01,774
Yeah.
491
00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:03,776
Yeah, well, I, uh...
492
00:40:03,902 --> 00:40:07,614
- I think it's time to go. You ready? - Where do you think you're going?
493
00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:09,741
- To a party. - To a movie.
494
00:40:10,742 --> 00:40:12,744
Movie party is what it is, folks.
495
00:40:12,869 --> 00:40:15,455
- We're going to a movie party. - Such a little liar.
496
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:19,292
No, I've whipped up this nasty little soirée over at his friend Wyatt's house.
497
00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:23,379
- "Soir" what? - Soirée, honey. I think that means party.
498
00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:25,882
Party.
499
00:40:26,007 --> 00:40:28,009
You know, there's going to be sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll,
500
00:40:28,134 --> 00:40:30,011
chips, dips, chains, whips...
501
00:40:30,136 --> 00:40:32,722
You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing.
502
00:40:32,847 --> 00:40:36,476
I mean, I'm not talking candle wax on the nipples
503
00:40:36,601 --> 00:40:38,436
or witchcraft or anything like that.
504
00:40:38,561 --> 00:40:41,481
No, no, no, no, just a couple of hundred kids
505
00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:44,442
running around in their underwear acting like complete animals.
506
00:40:44,567 --> 00:40:47,737
- Alright, goddamn it! I've heard enough!
507
00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:49,906
- Gary, you get to your room! - Yes, sir!
508
00:40:50,031 --> 00:40:53,284
No, it's OK. Just sit here. I'll take care of this.
509
00:40:53,409 --> 00:40:57,664
Girlie, you get the hell outta here before I throw you out.
510
00:40:57,789 --> 00:41:00,041
Don't threaten me, Al!
511
00:41:00,166 --> 00:41:02,710
You're out of shape. I'll kick your arse.
512
00:41:02,835 --> 00:41:07,006
I'm going to make this real easy for you.
513
00:41:07,131 --> 00:41:10,593
I'm taking Gary to a party.
514
00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:12,512
Over my dead body.
515
00:41:12,637 --> 00:41:18,309
He's a good kid. He studies hard. You've got no complaints.
516
00:41:18,434 --> 00:41:20,937
If anybody should be bitching, it should be Gary.
517
00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:23,940
You ever compliment him on his grades?
518
00:41:24,065 --> 00:41:26,442
You ever compliment him on anything?
519
00:41:26,567 --> 00:41:29,779
Hey! Hey! Look, Ma, compliments embarrass me.
520
00:41:29,904 --> 00:41:31,656
- Dad, you know... - Shut up!
521
00:41:33,449 --> 00:41:35,910
Have you ever wondered how sad it is
522
00:41:36,035 --> 00:41:38,955
that your son's only sexual outlet
523
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:42,333
is tossing off to magazines in the bathroom?
524
00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,252
Oh, Gary!
525
00:41:44,377 --> 00:41:48,089
Ma, I never tossed off to anything!
526
00:41:48,214 --> 00:41:51,759
- You told me you were combing your hair! - But I was! I was! Mom!
527
00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:54,846
- Gary, shut up! - The water's running all day long...
528
00:41:54,971 --> 00:41:57,640
- Shut up! - I've never tossed off!
529
00:41:57,765 --> 00:42:01,060
- I've never tossed off! - And you wouldn't tell your own mother!
530
00:42:01,185 --> 00:42:02,353
Shut up!
531
00:42:02,478 --> 00:42:04,689
Shut up! Shut up!
532
00:42:07,233 --> 00:42:10,236
This guy deserves a party.
533
00:42:10,820 --> 00:42:13,531
Look, I don't know who you are,
534
00:42:13,656 --> 00:42:16,951
what you are, or where you came from,
535
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:20,038
but I'm not taking any more of this.
536
00:42:20,997 --> 00:42:24,792
Dial the police, Lucy. Dial the damn police and give me the phone.
537
00:42:24,917 --> 00:42:29,005
The phone... I'm going to get the...
538
00:42:29,130 --> 00:42:32,383
- Give me the phone. - I'm trying to... Well, here it is.
539
00:42:38,973 --> 00:42:42,769
Jesus, God. Oh, Christ.
540
00:42:42,894 --> 00:42:45,313
Oh, Lord God.
541
00:42:48,358 --> 00:42:50,902
Oh... Uh-oh...
542
00:42:51,861 --> 00:42:53,488
Go ahead...
543
00:42:54,322 --> 00:42:55,990
Make your day?
544
00:43:01,829 --> 00:43:04,374
I'm really sorry it has to come to this.
545
00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:06,000
Come to what?
546
00:43:07,251 --> 00:43:10,380
If you don't cheer up, I'll blow your face off.
547
00:43:22,809 --> 00:43:25,478
Oh, come on, don't be such an old lady. Everything's cool.
548
00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:27,647
Everything's cool! Everything's cool.
549
00:43:27,772 --> 00:43:29,732
Yeah, yeah. My dad's going to castrate me.
550
00:43:29,857 --> 00:43:31,859
And my mother almost had, like, a cardiac arrest.
551
00:43:31,984 --> 00:43:35,029
My parents'll never let me in the house, and if they do, I'll be grounded till I'm 45.
552
00:43:35,154 --> 00:43:37,156
Other than that, everything's great. Everything's just really cool.
553
00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:39,700
I mean, you know, it couldn't be better.
554
00:43:40,827 --> 00:43:42,995
Listen, trust me for once, will you?
555
00:43:45,248 --> 00:43:47,750
They don't know what happened.
556
00:43:51,003 --> 00:43:54,841
Did you think Gary was acting a little strangely this evening?
557
00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:58,177
Gary?
558
00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:01,097
Who's Gary?
559
00:44:05,852 --> 00:44:08,813
Lisa, you have to promise me
560
00:44:08,938 --> 00:44:11,274
that things aren't gonna get out of control.
561
00:44:11,399 --> 00:44:15,153
Wyatt, don't worry. You're just having a few friends over.
562
00:44:15,278 --> 00:44:17,488
I don't have any friends, Lisa.
563
00:44:17,613 --> 00:44:19,240
He doesn't.
564
00:44:20,616 --> 00:44:22,410
Boy ain't lying.
565
00:44:24,328 --> 00:44:25,997
You do now.
566
00:44:34,380 --> 00:44:35,465
Hi.
567
00:44:35,590 --> 00:44:38,009
Hi!
568
00:44:38,134 --> 00:44:39,218
Party!
569
00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:42,805
Party! Party! Party! Party!
570
00:44:42,930 --> 00:44:44,599
Party! Party! Party! Party!
571
00:45:10,166 --> 00:45:11,501
Yo!
572
00:45:11,626 --> 00:45:14,420
Who's here? How you doing? How you doing?
573
00:45:15,588 --> 00:45:17,381
- Where's the bar? - Bar!
574
00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:23,513
Do you think they'll embarrass us tonight?
575
00:45:23,638 --> 00:45:25,056
Yeah.
576
00:45:25,181 --> 00:45:26,807
- Yeah? - Yeah.
577
00:45:32,146 --> 00:45:33,439
Caviar?
578
00:45:34,398 --> 00:45:37,235
If Max and lan see her, it is all over for us.
579
00:45:39,111 --> 00:45:42,198
- How's your stomach? - It's a little better.
580
00:45:42,323 --> 00:45:45,701
If you're gonna float an air biscuit, let me know, OK?
581
00:45:45,826 --> 00:45:47,411
Float a what?
582
00:45:47,537 --> 00:45:49,413
If you're gonna fart, if you're gonna squeeze cheese,
583
00:45:49,539 --> 00:45:51,123
let me know, OK? I'll hit the fan.
584
00:45:51,249 --> 00:45:54,252
I'm sorry, Gary, it's just I suffer pain and discomfort
585
00:45:54,377 --> 00:45:57,213
due to occasional stomach upset.
586
00:45:57,338 --> 00:46:00,258
You know, I can't believe this, Wyatt. I'm so disappointed in us.
587
00:46:00,383 --> 00:46:02,468
All we ever do is sit around and talk about how great it would be
588
00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:04,053
if we went to parties, right?
589
00:46:04,178 --> 00:46:06,597
And now it's our party, and there are hundreds of people here having a great time,
590
00:46:06,722 --> 00:46:08,558
and we're in the john. we're in the john!
591
00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:12,436
- I can't believe it. - Gary, you're just as uptight as I am.
592
00:46:12,562 --> 00:46:15,064
Let me tell you something. Nobody can be as uptight as you, OK?
593
00:46:15,189 --> 00:46:17,233
Nobody. Your middle name is tense, OK?
594
00:46:17,358 --> 00:46:18,943
Wyatt "Tense Up" Donnelly.
595
00:46:19,068 --> 00:46:21,737
- Alright, this is true. This is true. - It's true.
596
00:46:21,862 --> 00:46:26,701
But... it's not that bad. I mean, we can hear the music.
597
00:46:27,535 --> 00:46:29,036
We can dance, so that's great.
598
00:46:29,161 --> 00:46:31,414
If we put our noses to the door, maybe we can smell the food.
599
00:46:31,539 --> 00:46:33,040
Hey, brother!
600
00:46:33,165 --> 00:46:35,543
What's happening, my main man?
601
00:46:35,668 --> 00:46:36,961
Right on!
602
00:46:37,628 --> 00:46:39,797
- Scotch. - Straight up?
603
00:46:39,922 --> 00:46:41,632
Ah, give me the whole bottle.
604
00:46:41,757 --> 00:46:46,596
Tell you what... you bend over and I'll shove it straight up your ass.
605
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:50,600
- On the rocks is fine.
606
00:46:52,059 --> 00:46:55,062
Yeah, that's what I thought you were gonna say, you jive turkey.
607
00:47:08,492 --> 00:47:09,619
There she is.
608
00:47:09,744 --> 00:47:11,662
You deal with the drinks. I'll kill the girls.
609
00:47:43,944 --> 00:47:45,863
- Hi. - Hil
610
00:47:49,492 --> 00:47:51,744
- Did we see you at the mall today? - Yes.
611
00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:53,371
Oh, yeah!
612
00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:58,626
It's alright... Um...
613
00:47:58,751 --> 00:48:01,128
- What are you doing here? - I'm living here now.
614
00:48:01,253 --> 00:48:03,172
I'm Wyatt and Gary's girlfriend.
615
00:48:03,297 --> 00:48:05,925
- No!
616
00:48:06,759 --> 00:48:10,930
Ah! OK... We're Wyatt's friends.
617
00:48:11,055 --> 00:48:13,891
Er... can we come to the party or should we just bail?
618
00:48:14,016 --> 00:48:15,601
Bail!
619
00:48:18,479 --> 00:48:20,898
- No, no, come in, come on. - Really?
620
00:48:21,023 --> 00:48:22,441
Oh, thank you.
621
00:48:23,401 --> 00:48:25,695
Gary and Wyatt are around here someplace.
622
00:48:25,820 --> 00:48:28,280
I wonder if Lisa's having a good time.
623
00:48:28,406 --> 00:48:31,951
Lisa could have a good time at an insurance seminar, Wyatt.
624
00:48:32,076 --> 00:48:35,079
You know, the thing that really galls me
625
00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:39,709
is that she's ours and we can't get close to her.
626
00:48:42,294 --> 00:48:43,796
Hit the fan.
627
00:48:47,425 --> 00:48:49,385
This is, like, the best party I've ever been to.
628
00:48:49,510 --> 00:48:51,804
I know. It's great!
629
00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:54,473
Do you know whose house this is?
630
00:48:54,598 --> 00:48:58,894
I don't know. I think it might be that girl with the English accent.
631
00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:02,773
Did you notice that girl doesn't have a zit on her whole body? Did you notice that?
632
00:49:02,898 --> 00:49:06,068
- I know. She has, like, zero fat. - And she's so relaxed.
633
00:49:06,193 --> 00:49:08,279
- She burped and it was, like, charming. - Charming.
634
00:49:08,404 --> 00:49:09,488
Yeah!
635
00:49:11,282 --> 00:49:12,491
Shit.
636
00:49:13,826 --> 00:49:15,661
- Ah, yeah. - The bathroom.
637
00:49:23,753 --> 00:49:25,004
- Ladies. - Hi.
638
00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:26,547
Hi.
639
00:49:28,048 --> 00:49:29,800
I can't believe you! I cannot...
640
00:49:29,925 --> 00:49:32,511
You're dropping wolf bait and there are chicks outside!
641
00:49:32,636 --> 00:49:35,973
Light a match or something! Light a fire, I don't know.
642
00:49:38,184 --> 00:49:39,935
Hi.
643
00:49:40,060 --> 00:49:41,479
Hi.
644
00:49:41,604 --> 00:49:44,148
We're sorry. We thought there were just girls in there.
645
00:49:44,273 --> 00:49:47,234
- I'm sorry. - It's just us dudes, you know.
646
00:49:47,359 --> 00:49:49,028
What are you doing here?
647
00:49:49,695 --> 00:49:52,281
Gary was just taking a shit!
648
00:49:52,406 --> 00:49:54,074
No, what I meant was...
649
00:49:56,368 --> 00:49:59,413
No, no, what I meant was, what are you doing at the party?
650
00:49:59,538 --> 00:50:02,833
- Oh, it's my house. - This is your party?
651
00:50:02,958 --> 00:50:05,878
Yeah, well, you know, we like to do this about once a week,
652
00:50:06,003 --> 00:50:08,297
throw little gatherings here, little get-togethers, that kind of thing.
653
00:50:08,422 --> 00:50:10,382
- Haven't you guys been by? - No.
654
00:50:10,508 --> 00:50:12,593
No? How the heck did we miss these two, Wyatt?
655
00:50:12,718 --> 00:50:15,304
I don't know. So many people, so many parties.
656
00:50:15,429 --> 00:50:19,016
So many people, you know, and so many parties, you lose track...
657
00:50:19,141 --> 00:50:22,770
Um... would you mind if I came in and checked my face?
658
00:50:22,895 --> 00:50:25,022
What's wrong with your face?
659
00:50:27,066 --> 00:50:28,400
Can we come in?
660
00:50:28,526 --> 00:50:31,237
- Come on in. - Sure, yeah. OK. Be our guests.
661
00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:34,365
- Thanks, guys. - Come onin.
662
00:50:36,492 --> 00:50:38,452
Well, um...
663
00:50:38,577 --> 00:50:40,579
We've seen you guys at school, but we've never met.
664
00:50:40,704 --> 00:50:42,081
- You're Hilly. - You're Deb.
665
00:50:42,206 --> 00:50:43,707
- How you doing? - Deb.
666
00:50:43,833 --> 00:50:45,835
- Hi. I'm Gary. - I'm Wyatt.
667
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,795
Well, what have you guys been doing?
668
00:50:49,588 --> 00:50:53,300
This is a wild crowd. I didn't know you guys had so many friends.
669
00:50:53,425 --> 00:50:55,386
- Yeah, neither did we. - Neither did we.
670
00:50:56,554 --> 00:51:00,724
Uh, who's the girl with the accent? I thought that this was her party, but...
671
00:51:00,850 --> 00:51:04,728
You mean the real sensuous, exotic, sexy, mature, sex symbol type?
672
00:51:04,854 --> 00:51:06,480
- Yeah. - Yeah.
673
00:51:06,605 --> 00:51:08,941
She's with us.
674
00:51:09,066 --> 00:51:11,402
She's with you guys?
675
00:51:12,027 --> 00:51:14,071
Come on, Lisa. Why not?
676
00:51:15,990 --> 00:51:19,159
Because I belong to Gary and Wyatt.
677
00:51:19,285 --> 00:51:23,372
Belong? What? They make you in the garage with power tools?
678
00:51:23,497 --> 00:51:25,583
They own you? Control you?
679
00:51:25,708 --> 00:51:28,502
- Seriously? - Seriously.
680
00:51:28,627 --> 00:51:30,004
They're toads.
681
00:51:30,129 --> 00:51:32,715
Do I look like I'd go out with two toads?
682
00:51:34,008 --> 00:51:37,011
You do. It's true.
683
00:51:37,136 --> 00:51:41,307
I think Gary and Wyatt are gonna force everyone to redefine their terms.
684
00:51:43,183 --> 00:51:46,061
And you're completely loyal to them?
685
00:51:46,186 --> 00:51:49,315
I do whatever they say.
686
00:52:00,701 --> 00:52:01,869
Hi.
687
00:52:04,663 --> 00:52:08,292
Could you excuse us for a minute, please?
688
00:52:08,417 --> 00:52:11,378
Ah, that's no problem. Yeah, we'll be in here.
689
00:52:11,503 --> 00:52:12,922
Yeah.
690
00:52:20,846 --> 00:52:22,473
OK, fine.
691
00:52:26,101 --> 00:52:28,228
I could be wrong, but I think these ladies are stoked for us, Wyatt.
692
00:52:28,354 --> 00:52:30,105
- I got that feeling myself. - What do we do?
693
00:52:30,230 --> 00:52:31,607
- I don't know. - Should we go for it?
694
00:52:31,732 --> 00:52:33,442
- What about Lisa? - She did say we should party.
695
00:52:33,567 --> 00:52:35,694
Let's get it on with these two, score points and go back to Lisa.
696
00:52:35,819 --> 00:52:37,154
This is like a dream come true.
697
00:52:37,279 --> 00:52:40,074
How about if we see if we can score with these two in case we can't later?
698
00:52:40,199 --> 00:52:42,242
- Sounds good. - But we gotta give Lisa a shot.
699
00:52:42,368 --> 00:52:45,704
I don't wanna hurt her feelings. The girls want a long, lean bone job from me.
700
00:52:45,829 --> 00:52:47,247
- Ready to party down? - 10-4.
701
00:52:47,373 --> 00:52:48,624
- Let's break. - Break.
702
00:53:00,886 --> 00:53:02,888
Those guys are weird, but they're kind of cute.
703
00:53:03,013 --> 00:53:04,515
- Hi. - Hil
704
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:08,060
And where did you two disappear to?
705
00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:11,438
- Nowhere. We were in the kitchen. - We were in the bathroom.
706
00:53:12,356 --> 00:53:14,233
- Eating. - Doing our hair.
707
00:53:14,358 --> 00:53:16,360
Have you met Gary and Wyatt?
708
00:53:16,944 --> 00:53:18,988
- Yeah. - No.
709
00:53:19,113 --> 00:53:20,406
Sort of.
710
00:53:22,491 --> 00:53:26,120
If you get the chance... shower with them.
711
00:53:26,245 --> 00:53:29,289
I did. It's a mind scrambler!
712
00:53:30,124 --> 00:53:32,126
Oh! Hurts so good.
713
00:53:37,798 --> 00:53:40,050
She took a shower with them.
714
00:53:40,175 --> 00:53:43,012
- I have a wonderful idea, Henry. - Hmm?
715
00:53:43,137 --> 00:53:47,266
After dinner, why don't we stop by and visit with Wyatt?
716
00:53:47,391 --> 00:53:51,228
I hate to think of his being alone at home tonight.
717
00:53:51,353 --> 00:53:55,065
- Doesn't he have anything to read? - Well, I don't know, dear.
718
00:53:55,190 --> 00:53:58,569
But you know nothing's more important to a teenage boy
719
00:53:58,694 --> 00:54:00,904
than his grandparents.
720
00:54:01,030 --> 00:54:02,948
- We'll drop by. - Oh, good.
721
00:54:16,837 --> 00:54:21,341
I'd like to open up by apologizing for the Icee today at the mall.
722
00:54:21,467 --> 00:54:24,178
It was very immature, and I'm sorry.
723
00:54:24,303 --> 00:54:28,140
- And, uh... - It was just, like, tomfoolery.
724
00:54:28,265 --> 00:54:30,100
But we are sorry.
725
00:54:30,225 --> 00:54:32,644
- It happened. - Yeah.
726
00:54:33,312 --> 00:54:36,648
So what's the deal with Lisa? You know, can we borrow her?
727
00:54:37,274 --> 00:54:39,651
Uh... we can't do that, guys,
728
00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:42,029
because common decency prohibits us, we can't.
729
00:54:42,154 --> 00:54:43,572
It's not cool.
730
00:54:43,697 --> 00:54:45,991
- Well, she said it was cool. - Yeah.
731
00:54:46,116 --> 00:54:49,953
We can't take advantage of her loyalty. Sorry, guys.
732
00:54:50,079 --> 00:54:52,998
Man, but that's really selfish. That hurts, you know.
733
00:54:53,123 --> 00:54:54,374
lan, uh...
734
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,002
Just forget it, guys, cos we can't do it, you know?
735
00:54:57,127 --> 00:55:00,047
Ah, come on. Quit being such pricks.
736
00:55:00,172 --> 00:55:01,298
Hey, come on.
737
00:55:01,423 --> 00:55:03,425
Regardless of what she may have told you,
738
00:55:03,550 --> 00:55:05,761
our feelings for Lisa run very deep.
739
00:55:05,886 --> 00:55:08,347
It's, like, emotions. Heavy, heavy emotions.
740
00:55:08,472 --> 00:55:11,350
Our feelings for Deb and Hilly run as deep as yours do for Lisa.
741
00:55:11,475 --> 00:55:12,893
And it's respect.
742
00:55:13,018 --> 00:55:15,270
It's like the time we spent together, you know.
743
00:55:15,395 --> 00:55:18,357
And a couple of guys like you deserve them.
744
00:55:18,482 --> 00:55:21,026
See, we like your style. So we wanna make a deal with you.
745
00:55:21,151 --> 00:55:23,278
You let us have a crack at Lisa,
746
00:55:23,403 --> 00:55:26,156
and then we'll let you have Deb and Hilly.
747
00:55:28,242 --> 00:55:30,119
Can you guys keep a secret?
748
00:55:30,244 --> 00:55:32,663
- Sure. - Secret?
749
00:55:32,788 --> 00:55:35,707
- Look again. It's Gary. - No, no.
750
00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:38,001
It's our boy, Gary.
751
00:55:38,127 --> 00:55:40,963
He's our 16-year-old boy.
752
00:55:41,088 --> 00:55:43,841
I don't know what the hell you're talking about, Lucy.
753
00:55:43,966 --> 00:55:46,385
And I want you to shut up.
754
00:55:47,427 --> 00:55:50,722
I feel like an asshole. This had better work.
755
00:55:50,848 --> 00:55:53,433
This is just the blueprint. OK, now look. You like it?
756
00:55:53,559 --> 00:55:55,269
Bigger tits.
757
00:55:55,394 --> 00:55:56,728
Go, go, go, go!
758
00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:58,647
Give him the knee-shooters. I don't care.
759
00:56:01,191 --> 00:56:05,195
'We have code penetration again. What the hell's going on in here?"
760
00:56:10,868 --> 00:56:12,703
Excuse me, Arthur.
761
00:56:12,828 --> 00:56:14,997
- It's Art. - Excuse me, Art.
762
00:56:29,636 --> 00:56:31,096
Oh, shit.
763
00:56:46,570 --> 00:56:48,405
- "Where's Eddie?' - 'Eddie's down in the lab.
764
00:56:48,530 --> 00:56:50,574
'He and Grandpa are working on a new project.'
765
00:56:50,699 --> 00:56:53,285
- 'Another invention?'
766
00:56:53,410 --> 00:56:55,704
'It's got something to do with a robot."
767
00:57:09,384 --> 00:57:12,638
Wyatt, what's going on? Turn this thing off!
768
00:57:12,763 --> 00:57:14,890
You're gonna love it! How you doing?
769
00:57:15,015 --> 00:57:17,643
I'm shitting in my pants!
770
00:58:36,972 --> 00:58:38,390
It worked.
771
00:58:56,491 --> 00:59:00,579
You had to be big shots, didn't you? You had to show off.
772
00:59:01,747 --> 00:59:04,416
When are you going to learn people will like you for what you are,
773
00:59:04,541 --> 00:59:06,543
not for what you can give them?
774
00:59:08,712 --> 00:59:11,214
In your race for power and glory,
775
00:59:11,340 --> 00:59:14,134
you forgot one small detail.
776
00:59:15,635 --> 00:59:17,471
We forgot to hook up the doll.
777
00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:20,182
You forgot to hook up the doll.
778
01:00:02,766 --> 01:00:04,726
Something's going on here, Carmen.
779
01:00:04,851 --> 01:00:08,188
I have a feeling we're not going to approve, Henry.
780
01:00:09,815 --> 01:00:12,442
A missile! A missile!
781
01:00:13,402 --> 01:00:15,737
A missile in my house, Gary!
782
01:00:17,948 --> 01:00:22,077
- Yeah, this puppy's for real, alright. - It was an accident. Simple, you know...
783
01:00:22,202 --> 01:00:24,496
Accident, my ass, Gary!
784
01:00:24,621 --> 01:00:26,873
My parents are coming home. Chet's coming home.
785
01:00:26,998 --> 01:00:30,669
- They're gonna freak out! - They're gonna shit eggrolls.
786
01:00:30,794 --> 01:00:33,380
Get out! Get out! Scat!
787
01:00:33,505 --> 01:00:36,133
Out of here, you disgusting tramps!
788
01:00:36,258 --> 01:00:38,218
You, you, you hosers!
789
01:00:38,343 --> 01:00:40,345
Out! Out! Out!
790
01:00:40,470 --> 01:00:42,556
My God, cut that out, would you?
791
01:00:42,681 --> 01:00:44,850
You ought to know better than to walk into somebody's house
792
01:00:44,975 --> 01:00:47,185
and start hitting people with your Rex Harrison hat!
793
01:00:47,310 --> 01:00:50,814
This is my daughter's home. Who the hell are you?
794
01:00:50,939 --> 01:00:54,776
Well, I'm a very dear, close personal friend of your grandson's.
795
01:00:54,901 --> 01:00:56,945
Henry, call the police.
796
01:00:57,070 --> 01:00:59,739
I will. I'll have you incarcerated.
797
01:00:59,865 --> 01:01:02,284
Here's the deal, folks.
798
01:01:02,409 --> 01:01:06,163
Gary and Wyatt, they created me on their computer.
799
01:01:06,288 --> 01:01:09,666
I'm not going to stand here and listen to this baloney.
800
01:01:09,791 --> 01:01:13,003
He won't, you know. He doesn't stand for baloney.
801
01:01:13,545 --> 01:01:16,673
Would you mind waiting here? I won't be a moment.
802
01:01:19,092 --> 01:01:21,094
Have you ever?
803
01:01:21,928 --> 01:01:23,221
Never.
804
01:01:24,222 --> 01:01:27,559
Excuse me, guys. Wyatt, your grandparents are downstairs.
805
01:01:27,684 --> 01:01:29,269
OK. Thanks, Lis.
806
01:01:33,523 --> 01:01:35,442
- Lisa! - Yes?
807
01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:37,611
Where are my grandparents?
808
01:01:38,195 --> 01:01:41,281
- Wyatt, your kitchen is blue. - You want to try one?
809
01:01:41,406 --> 01:01:43,283
Where are my grandparents, Lisa?
810
01:01:43,408 --> 01:01:45,619
They're all taken care of, OK?
811
01:01:52,667 --> 01:01:54,920
You're going to love this one.
812
01:02:00,717 --> 01:02:03,136
- Are they all right? - They're fine.
813
01:02:03,261 --> 01:02:07,974
In fact, they're better than fine. They're not aging anymore.
814
01:02:08,683 --> 01:02:10,477
See? They're smiling.
815
01:02:12,187 --> 01:02:14,731
Uh... Lisa, if any more of his relatives drop by,
816
01:02:14,856 --> 01:02:17,567
we'll be upstairs in the bathroom, OK?
817
01:02:17,692 --> 01:02:19,694
That's pretty sick, Lis.
818
01:02:20,153 --> 01:02:23,532
Those guys really need some self-confidence.
819
01:02:24,658 --> 01:02:29,996
A challenge. Something that'll bring out their inner strength and courage.
820
01:02:34,876 --> 01:02:36,920
I'm so bloody clever.
821
01:02:40,340 --> 01:02:41,633
Now!
822
01:03:30,140 --> 01:03:32,183
This Bud's for you.
823
01:03:39,899 --> 01:03:42,444
- This party's lame, Max. - What about the girls?
824
01:03:44,112 --> 01:03:46,114
Girls, shmirls!
825
01:04:06,968 --> 01:04:10,430
Lisa! What's going on?
826
01:04:11,598 --> 01:04:13,058
Aargh!
827
01:04:30,659 --> 01:04:33,036
Gary! Gary, Gary...
828
01:04:33,161 --> 01:04:34,954
Gary, listen to me.
829
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:37,957
There are motorcycles in my house!
830
01:04:39,376 --> 01:04:42,087
Wyatt, there are killer mutants in your house, OK?
831
01:05:02,232 --> 01:05:04,526
Screw the house.
832
01:05:44,274 --> 01:05:45,650
Guys, you have uninvited guests.
833
01:05:45,775 --> 01:05:47,736
I think you better come out and ask them to leave.
834
01:05:47,861 --> 01:05:49,404
They're getting pretty rowdy.
835
01:05:54,993 --> 01:05:58,663
This is an excellent chance for you to prove your bravery and courage.
836
01:05:58,788 --> 01:06:01,791
Those are outdated concepts, alright? Excuse us.
837
01:06:03,168 --> 01:06:05,462
Don't let John Wayne hear you say that.
838
01:06:05,587 --> 01:06:07,672
The man is dead, Lisa, OK?
839
01:06:09,632 --> 01:06:12,385
Well, so are you, if you don't deal with this situation.
840
01:06:14,929 --> 01:06:16,556
No, thanks.
841
01:06:19,142 --> 01:06:21,269
Gary, do you feel like a chicken?
842
01:06:21,936 --> 01:06:25,148
Wyatt, if I could shoot an egg out my ass right now, I would.
843
01:06:27,442 --> 01:06:31,863
What about all these people? Will they think we're cowards?
844
01:06:33,406 --> 01:06:34,574
I don't know.
845
01:06:34,699 --> 01:06:37,494
Look, we can deal with shame, OK? Death is a much deeper issue.
846
01:07:03,269 --> 01:07:05,980
Uh... we're going to get you guys some drinks.
847
01:07:06,105 --> 01:07:07,941
You look like a Scotch man. You want some...
848
01:07:08,066 --> 01:07:10,109
- We're gonna get some stuff... - Ah!
849
01:07:11,361 --> 01:07:14,405
Is this your party?
850
01:07:15,782 --> 01:07:16,991
Uh...
851
01:07:18,034 --> 01:07:22,205
- Well, yeah kind of. - I don't know if you can call it a party.
852
01:07:22,330 --> 01:07:24,040
It's just a few friends.
853
01:07:24,165 --> 01:07:25,416
How come...
854
01:07:27,001 --> 01:07:31,130
...two unpopular dicks like you
855
01:07:31,256 --> 01:07:33,049
is having a party?
856
01:07:33,716 --> 01:07:37,053
I don't know. I mean, I guess I was just asking myself that very question.
857
01:07:37,178 --> 01:07:39,848
- And I'm like dicks, sometimes... - Look, we're very sorry.
858
01:07:40,473 --> 01:07:44,435
How would you like all your friends here to know...
859
01:07:45,812 --> 01:07:49,607
...that you wear a bra on your head?
860
01:07:57,657 --> 01:08:00,827
Tossed off into any good books lately, have we?
861
01:08:05,748 --> 01:08:09,252
You two can't even take a shower
862
01:08:10,336 --> 01:08:13,214
with a beautiful woman
863
01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:16,092
without wearing your jeans!
864
01:08:25,018 --> 01:08:26,686
You!
865
01:08:26,811 --> 01:08:28,396
Come here!
866
01:08:30,648 --> 01:08:32,108
Now!
867
01:08:51,294 --> 01:08:54,422
- Prepare to die, Wyatt. - Gary, I can't wait to die.
868
01:08:54,547 --> 01:08:56,966
- We are gonna kick... - Ass.
869
01:08:57,091 --> 01:08:59,886
OK. This is war.
870
01:09:00,011 --> 01:09:03,348
Hands off the girls. Let's leave the girls out of this. Hands off.
871
01:09:05,642 --> 01:09:08,227
I said hands off! Now!
872
01:09:19,113 --> 01:09:21,032
Why don't you shut up, bitch?
873
01:09:27,246 --> 01:09:30,166
And as for your ugly ass, let me tell you something.
874
01:09:30,291 --> 01:09:33,836
You don't come into my friend's house with your faggot friends,
875
01:09:33,962 --> 01:09:36,089
driving your motorbikes all over his floors,
876
01:09:36,214 --> 01:09:38,800
breaking windows, making a mess, stinking up the place.
877
01:09:38,925 --> 01:09:40,426
And believe me, you do stink.
878
01:09:45,056 --> 01:09:47,433
And here's what's gonna happen.
879
01:09:47,558 --> 01:09:49,227
You're gonna let go of the girls,
880
01:09:49,352 --> 01:09:52,730
and you're going to apologize to all these people.
881
01:09:52,855 --> 01:09:57,068
And you're gonna get on your bikes and pedal your ugly asses out of here.
882
01:10:00,363 --> 01:10:03,825
So now, we're gentlemen, SO we're gonna give you a choice.
883
01:10:04,409 --> 01:10:06,536
Yeah, you can leave in peace...
884
01:10:10,915 --> 01:10:13,459
Or you can stay and die.
885
01:10:25,096 --> 01:10:26,806
Choice is yours.
886
01:11:06,054 --> 01:11:07,472
Get out of here.
887
01:11:12,810 --> 01:11:15,563
Beg your pardon. You have a lovely home.
888
01:11:16,606 --> 01:11:20,359
Terribly sorry. Call me. We'll have lunch.
889
01:11:20,485 --> 01:11:22,695
Can we keep this between us?
890
01:11:24,489 --> 01:11:26,908
I'd hate to lose my teaching job.
891
01:11:31,746 --> 01:11:33,164
God bless you.
892
01:11:44,383 --> 01:11:47,970
I can't believe... You know... Is everyone alright? I just want to know.
893
01:11:48,096 --> 01:11:50,181
This is so exciting. You know, we're heroes.
894
01:11:50,306 --> 01:11:52,642
These guys came into your house and we showed them down.
895
01:11:52,767 --> 01:11:56,270
I can't believe this. Know what we did? You and me saved all these people, Wyatt.
896
01:11:56,395 --> 01:11:58,147
You don't understand that. We're heroes.
897
01:11:58,272 --> 01:12:01,067
This could mean a guest shot on Phil Donahue. But this is exciting, man!
898
01:12:01,192 --> 01:12:02,401
- Gary! - What?
899
01:12:02,527 --> 01:12:05,905
- Where the hell did you get that thing? - Squirt gun, man. That's it.
900
01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:18,668
That's my boys.
901
01:12:29,929 --> 01:12:31,931
What a weird night, huh?
902
01:12:34,392 --> 01:12:36,936
You really weren't afraid of those guys?
903
01:12:40,022 --> 01:12:44,026
I was scared. But what could I do?
904
01:12:51,951 --> 01:12:56,289
It's probably a good idea for me not to ask too many questions about tonight.
905
01:12:56,414 --> 01:12:57,874
Probably.
906
01:12:57,999 --> 01:13:00,501
This is a sort of a night of weird shit.
907
01:13:00,626 --> 01:13:04,589
I was wondering if I can ask you something kind of strange?
908
01:13:10,344 --> 01:13:12,180
Would you kiss me?
909
01:13:14,932 --> 01:13:16,976
What about lan?
910
01:13:20,062 --> 01:13:21,898
We all make mistakes.
911
01:13:29,155 --> 01:13:30,990
Where do you want it?
912
01:13:34,327 --> 01:13:36,913
Can I ask you a question?
913
01:13:37,038 --> 01:13:38,372
Yeah.
914
01:13:39,373 --> 01:13:41,417
How do you feel about Lisa?
915
01:13:42,585 --> 01:13:44,086
I love her.
916
01:13:45,755 --> 01:13:48,216
That's what I figured.
917
01:13:48,341 --> 01:13:49,759
But, um...
918
01:13:52,178 --> 01:13:54,764
...I mean, it's definitely a different kind of love, you know.
919
01:13:54,889 --> 01:13:58,142
It's... it's more sisterly, you know,
920
01:13:58,267 --> 01:14:00,353
like big sisterly, kind of.
921
01:14:01,354 --> 01:14:03,272
But she's so beautiful.
922
01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:08,611
Yeah, she's really beautiful.
923
01:14:09,904 --> 01:14:12,406
And her body is...
924
01:14:12,531 --> 01:14:14,158
It's gorgeous.
925
01:14:15,243 --> 01:14:17,078
It's a nice figure.
926
01:14:18,204 --> 01:14:19,455
So...
927
01:14:22,375 --> 01:14:25,127
I mean, what would I be compared to her?
928
01:14:26,045 --> 01:14:31,884
Deb, Lisa is everything I ever wanted in a girl...
929
01:14:33,761 --> 01:14:36,430
...before I knew what I wanted.
930
01:14:36,555 --> 01:14:41,769
I know that if I could do it again... I'd make her just like you.
931
01:14:45,356 --> 01:14:46,816
Honest.
932
01:14:55,825 --> 01:14:59,078
Dead honest. I'm like... I... You know, I...
933
01:14:59,203 --> 01:15:00,913
I gotta tell you cos I'm really honest when I say that.
934
01:15:01,038 --> 01:15:03,874
I'm so very honest. I mean that.
935
01:15:55,134 --> 01:15:56,802
What the hell?
936
01:15:59,263 --> 01:16:02,850
That little bastard. That little...
937
01:16:04,060 --> 01:16:06,395
Please don't let him have messed up my room.
938
01:16:06,520 --> 01:16:08,856
If my room's OK, I won't kill him, I promise.
939
01:16:08,981 --> 01:16:11,150
I'll just hurt him real bad.
940
01:16:40,262 --> 01:16:41,680
Freeze.
941
01:16:43,432 --> 01:16:44,683
Chet!
942
01:16:45,267 --> 01:16:47,561
Where's my brother?
943
01:16:47,686 --> 01:16:49,021
Ow!
944
01:16:49,980 --> 01:16:52,525
Uhh... I don't know.
945
01:16:53,859 --> 01:16:55,694
You're dead meat, pilgrim.
946
01:16:58,072 --> 01:17:00,241
Um...
947
01:17:00,366 --> 01:17:03,119
Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, that's her nose. Come on.
948
01:17:03,244 --> 01:17:04,995
Now, look, she has nothing to do with it.
949
01:17:05,121 --> 01:17:08,416
OK. You die.
950
01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:11,210
She walks out of here with a severe limp.
951
01:17:17,216 --> 01:17:18,300
Aargh.
952
01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:20,928
I'll be back.
953
01:17:25,933 --> 01:17:30,312
That's Wyatt's older brother, Chet. He's kind of an asshole.
954
01:17:33,357 --> 01:17:35,109
Oh, hi, Chet.
955
01:17:35,234 --> 01:17:38,487
What the hell is going on around here?
956
01:17:38,612 --> 01:17:40,531
Chet, I'm sorry, it was an accident.
957
01:17:40,656 --> 01:17:42,908
An accident? An accident?
958
01:17:43,742 --> 01:17:47,371
Do you realize it's snowing in my room, goddamn it?
959
01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:50,166
Some real weird shit happened, Chet. Some real weird...
960
01:17:50,291 --> 01:17:54,086
You don't have to be a genius to figure that out, monkey dick.
961
01:17:56,005 --> 01:17:59,884
- Start talking, little man. - Look, Chet, it's a real long story.
962
01:18:00,009 --> 01:18:01,886
Gary and I were messing around with the computer Friday night,
963
01:18:02,011 --> 01:18:04,638
and we decided to make a woman, and she went crazy and messed up the house.
964
01:18:04,763 --> 01:18:07,725
Don't smart-mouth me, you wormy little shit!
965
01:18:07,850 --> 01:18:09,310
Why don't you just leave him alone?
966
01:18:09,435 --> 01:18:11,896
Stay out of this, bimbo. This is a family matter.
967
01:18:12,021 --> 01:18:15,774
Chet, just let me find Lisa. She can explain everything.
968
01:18:15,900 --> 01:18:19,153
She'll clear everything up, Chet. I swear. Chet.
969
01:18:19,278 --> 01:18:23,824
You can have my college money and my social security, Chet.
970
01:18:25,284 --> 01:18:27,161
Chet...
971
01:18:29,413 --> 01:18:33,501
So, you guys think you can pull one over on me, huh?
972
01:18:33,626 --> 01:18:34,960
Huh?
973
01:18:35,085 --> 01:18:38,797
You got everybody synched to the same bullshit story.
974
01:18:38,923 --> 01:18:42,384
This isn't bullshit. This is a Pershing missile, Chip.
975
01:18:42,510 --> 01:18:44,345
It's Chet.
976
01:18:44,845 --> 01:18:46,472
My name is Chet.
977
01:18:48,432 --> 01:18:51,393
And I didn't think it was a whale's dick, honey.
978
01:18:55,272 --> 01:18:57,274
Hi, Nanny. Hi, Grampy.
979
01:18:59,235 --> 01:19:01,612
I'm not a moron, you know. I...
980
01:19:05,491 --> 01:19:07,159
Was that my grandparents?
981
01:19:12,873 --> 01:19:16,210
- Are they dead? - Oh, no, they're just resting.
982
01:19:16,335 --> 01:19:18,754
What are they doing in here?
983
01:19:18,879 --> 01:19:21,173
I put them in there.
984
01:19:21,298 --> 01:19:24,009
I didn't want the boys to get into trouble.
985
01:19:24,677 --> 01:19:27,888
And quite frankly, they weren't having a very good time at the party.
986
01:19:28,013 --> 01:19:29,765
Not having a good time?
987
01:19:29,890 --> 01:19:33,477
Do you think they're having a good time being catatonic in a closet?
988
01:19:35,104 --> 01:19:39,483
Do you have any idea how disrespectful that is?
989
01:19:40,484 --> 01:19:45,114
Boy, I wouldn't give a squirt of piss for your ass right now.
990
01:19:50,578 --> 01:19:53,581
OK, that's quite enough. You guys get the girls home.
991
01:19:53,706 --> 01:19:57,876
Wyatt, take the Porsche. Gary, you take the Ferrari.
992
01:19:58,002 --> 01:19:59,253
The Ferrari?
993
01:20:00,421 --> 01:20:02,423
I want to be alone with Chet here.
994
01:20:02,548 --> 01:20:04,592
- Good to see you again, Chet. - Get out of here!
995
01:20:04,717 --> 01:20:06,719
Come on, take your little hussies home!
996
01:20:06,844 --> 01:20:09,513
Their parents are probably worried sick.
997
01:20:12,057 --> 01:20:17,313
Lady, I want to get to the bottom of this, A.S.A.F.P.
998
01:20:17,438 --> 01:20:19,273
Oh, so do I.
999
01:20:21,567 --> 01:20:25,112
But first, I'd like to... butter your muffin.
1000
01:20:25,237 --> 01:20:27,239
Why do you have to be such a wanker?
1001
01:20:27,364 --> 01:20:29,408
Because I get off on it.
1002
01:20:29,533 --> 01:20:33,662
Now I want you to promise that you'll keep your big mouth shut
1003
01:20:33,787 --> 01:20:36,415
about everything that has happened here this weekend.
1004
01:20:36,540 --> 01:20:40,210
And I want you to treat Wyatt and Gary with dignity and respect.
1005
01:20:40,336 --> 01:20:42,129
Oh, really?
1006
01:20:42,254 --> 01:20:44,006
Yeah. Oh, really.
1007
01:20:45,758 --> 01:20:51,680
I can be a real serious bitch if I don't get what I want.
1008
01:20:51,805 --> 01:20:55,559
Ooh, hit me with your best shot.
1009
01:21:01,398 --> 01:21:03,484
How fast are you going?
1010
01:21:03,609 --> 01:21:05,110
About 35.
1011
01:21:16,830 --> 01:21:20,626
- Wait. This can't be right. - Are you looking at the RPMs?
1012
01:21:20,751 --> 01:21:24,046
No, I think I'm looking at about fifty tickets.
1013
01:21:39,520 --> 01:21:40,938
Bye!
1014
01:22:11,427 --> 01:22:13,262
Goddamn train!
1015
01:22:13,387 --> 01:22:15,639
Oh, my. Phew!
1016
01:22:16,557 --> 01:22:18,475
That was great!
1017
01:22:27,484 --> 01:22:28,902
You son of a bitch!
1018
01:22:29,027 --> 01:22:32,656
All Al! Al, that was Gary!
1019
01:22:32,781 --> 01:22:35,325
Who is this Gary character?
1020
01:22:38,120 --> 01:22:40,622
I had a really great time last night.
1021
01:22:42,124 --> 01:22:45,669
I'll probably be grounded for a month or so, but...
1022
01:22:47,421 --> 01:22:49,047
I'll wait for you.
1023
01:23:24,750 --> 01:23:26,585
Hilly!
1024
01:23:26,710 --> 01:23:28,337
I love you!
1025
01:23:35,677 --> 01:23:37,304
Alright!
1026
01:23:42,684 --> 01:23:44,561
I want to thank you for a great night.
1027
01:23:44,686 --> 01:23:46,104
Same here.
1028
01:23:48,524 --> 01:23:50,776
Deb, I have kind of a confession to make.
1029
01:23:54,947 --> 01:23:57,032
I'm really not this cool.
1030
01:23:58,575 --> 01:24:00,619
That's not my car.
1031
01:24:00,744 --> 01:24:03,163
This is not my suit.
1032
01:24:03,288 --> 01:24:05,916
I mean, none of those people were my friends.
1033
01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:09,419
Why are you telling me all of this?
1034
01:24:11,380 --> 01:24:14,132
Because I want you to like me for what I am.
1035
01:24:14,258 --> 01:24:16,718
Whatever you are, I like it.
1036
01:24:36,738 --> 01:24:40,534
Well, um, I'd better get going, cos, um...
1037
01:24:42,035 --> 01:24:44,079
...Wyatt and I still have to deal with Chet.
1038
01:24:44,204 --> 01:24:46,248
Quit screwing around!
1039
01:24:46,373 --> 01:24:49,376
This ain't funny, you stupid bitch!
1040
01:24:49,501 --> 01:24:52,421
Oh, now careful, Chet. Don't make me angry.
1041
01:24:52,546 --> 01:24:53,881
Sorry.
1042
01:24:57,259 --> 01:24:59,094
That's better.
1043
01:24:59,219 --> 01:25:02,681
Would you please turn me back to normal, please?
1044
01:25:02,806 --> 01:25:05,309
I haven't done anything to you.
1045
01:25:05,434 --> 01:25:07,853
No, but you've done plenty to your brother.
1046
01:25:07,978 --> 01:25:11,356
- Like what? - Well, let me see...
1047
01:25:11,481 --> 01:25:14,526
You've nagged him, harassed him, suppressed him,
1048
01:25:14,651 --> 01:25:17,696
kept him in fear of you, extorted money from him.
1049
01:25:17,821 --> 01:25:19,907
It's done out of love.
1050
01:25:20,574 --> 01:25:23,869
Just for that, I ought to give you a set of elephant balls.
1051
01:25:30,042 --> 01:25:34,046
Give me your word that you'll leave Wyatt and Gary alone,
1052
01:25:34,171 --> 01:25:35,797
and I'll change you back.
1053
01:25:35,923 --> 01:25:38,508
Oh, all right.
1054
01:25:38,634 --> 01:25:40,636
Shake on it, huh?
1055
01:25:42,846 --> 01:25:45,223
No, thanks. I'd rather not.
1056
01:25:46,350 --> 01:25:48,310
Wait! Where are you going?
1057
01:25:49,353 --> 01:25:51,605
Well, I have to go and get changed.
1058
01:25:51,730 --> 01:25:54,358
- What about me? - What about you? You'll be fine.
1059
01:25:54,483 --> 01:25:57,027
It just takes a little while for the effect to wear off, OK?
1060
01:26:09,498 --> 01:26:10,666
Well?
1061
01:26:11,959 --> 01:26:13,794
I'm in love.
1062
01:26:13,919 --> 01:26:16,630
- It's great, isn't it? - The best.
1063
01:26:16,755 --> 01:26:19,299
You know, I'll tell you, Wyatt,
1064
01:26:19,424 --> 01:26:21,385
I think things are turning around for us.
1065
01:26:21,510 --> 01:26:22,928
I mean it.
1066
01:26:23,053 --> 01:26:25,138
OK, what about Lisa?
1067
01:26:28,892 --> 01:26:31,019
Well, I think we're gonna have to have a talk with her.
1068
01:26:32,896 --> 01:26:34,648
Think she'll understand?
1069
01:26:35,691 --> 01:26:38,318
I think so. I mean, uh...
1070
01:26:38,443 --> 01:26:40,988
I sure as hell wouldn't want to date you.
1071
01:26:42,698 --> 01:26:45,033
You're not my type, you know.
1072
01:26:51,456 --> 01:26:52,833
Chet?
1073
01:26:53,750 --> 01:26:54,960
Chet?
1074
01:26:56,837 --> 01:26:58,255
Hi, dudes!
1075
01:27:02,509 --> 01:27:04,678
I'm sorry, Wyatt.
1076
01:27:04,803 --> 01:27:08,181
I'm sorry for being such a shit to you all these years.
1077
01:27:08,890 --> 01:27:11,977
And, gee, well, I want you to know that...
1078
01:27:13,270 --> 01:27:14,980
...I love you.
1079
01:27:19,901 --> 01:27:21,903
That's nasty, Wyatt.
1080
01:27:22,779 --> 01:27:24,781
That's Chet, Gary.
1081
01:27:26,283 --> 01:27:28,326
Hey, hey, huh...
1082
01:27:34,374 --> 01:27:35,625
Hmm!
1083
01:27:37,461 --> 01:27:38,920
Oh, my God!
1084
01:27:41,840 --> 01:27:43,383
Lisa?
1085
01:27:43,508 --> 01:27:45,093
In here!
1086
01:27:45,218 --> 01:27:47,554
- Lisa? - Yeah?
1087
01:27:48,555 --> 01:27:51,767
- You saw Chet? - Yes, I did.
1088
01:27:51,892 --> 01:27:53,894
You responsible?
1089
01:27:54,978 --> 01:27:56,396
Yes, I am.
1090
01:27:56,521 --> 01:27:58,732
Lisa, we can't have him like that.
1091
01:28:00,233 --> 01:28:02,277
It'd ruin Christmas.
1092
01:28:03,653 --> 01:28:05,906
Listen, he's gonna be fine in half an hour.
1093
01:28:06,031 --> 01:28:09,242
He's not going to spoil Christmas.
1094
01:28:09,367 --> 01:28:12,579
And he's not going to bug you anymore, either.
1095
01:28:12,704 --> 01:28:14,539
Um...
1096
01:28:15,415 --> 01:28:18,502
Lisa, we have to have a talk with you.
1097
01:28:18,627 --> 01:28:20,837
What's on your mind?
1098
01:28:21,630 --> 01:28:24,591
I really don't know how to say this to you.
1099
01:28:25,258 --> 01:28:27,344
You guys found girlfriends, right?
1100
01:28:29,763 --> 01:28:33,558
Fell in love with the two girls, and they fell in love with you.
1101
01:28:34,559 --> 01:28:36,978
That's all I ever wanted for you.
1102
01:28:37,979 --> 01:28:39,564
You're not hurt?
1103
01:28:41,149 --> 01:28:43,360
Yeah, sure I'm hurt.
1104
01:28:44,194 --> 01:28:46,655
But I wouldn't change it.
1105
01:28:48,406 --> 01:28:52,661
I'm really just getting off seeing you two guys straightened out.
1106
01:29:02,212 --> 01:29:04,214
I have to go.
1107
01:29:20,772 --> 01:29:22,149
Oh...
1108
01:29:23,150 --> 01:29:25,235
I've had a wonderful time.
1109
01:29:35,787 --> 01:29:37,455
Lisa...
1110
01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:41,418
Bye.
1111
01:30:59,412 --> 01:31:00,830
Boys?
1112
01:31:01,831 --> 01:31:03,416
We're home!
1113
01:31:08,380 --> 01:31:11,841
- Hi, Mr. Donnelly. How are you? - Hi, honey.
1114
01:31:12,425 --> 01:31:15,095
- Dad, hi. - No, no, no, no. Like a man.
1115
01:31:16,054 --> 01:31:19,391
So, what did you guys do this weekend?
1116
01:31:19,516 --> 01:31:22,602
- Not much. - Just hung around the house, you know.
1117
01:31:22,727 --> 01:31:24,729
Daddy had this crazy notion
1118
01:31:24,854 --> 01:31:28,441
you guys might throw a party or do something nutty.
1119
01:31:28,566 --> 01:31:30,235
- Ha-hal! - Shit.
1120
01:31:30,360 --> 01:31:31,778
- Not us. - Not here.
1121
01:31:31,903 --> 01:31:33,196
No way.
1122
01:31:55,302 --> 01:31:56,803
Shh, shh!
1123
01:32:17,824 --> 01:32:22,203
OK... drop and give me twenty.
84911
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