All language subtitles for Youre Cordially Invited 2025 1080p WEB-DL HEVC x265 5.1 BONE

# Isn't she lovely #

# Isn't she wonderful #

# Isn't she precious #

# Less than one minute old #

# I never thought through love we'd be #

# Making one as lovely as she #

# But isn't she lovely, made from love #

# Isn't she pretty #

# Truly the angel's best #

# Boy, I'm so happy #

# We have been heaven blessed #

# I can't believe what God has done #

# Through us, he's given life to on e #

# But isn't she #

Welcome home, cuddle bug.

Snug like a bug in a rug.

Hi, Daddy, Daddy, fo-faddy,
banana-bana, fo-faddy.

Who's in the house?

Uh, Daddy's in the house.

Big Papa's in the house.

Big Papa, Big Papa,
Big Papa, Big- whoo!

Break it down.

Yeah. Keep it going. Don't stop.

- Hey, Dad.
- Hi.

Oh, my gosh.

- How's everything? You good?
- Yeah. Yeah, good.

Yeah?

Hey.

- Hey.
- Oh.

I didn't know Oliver would be joining us.

Yeah.

Wait, what...?

We're getting married.

# Isn't she lovely #

# Isn't she wonderful #

# Isn't she precious #

# Less than one minute old #

Are you okay?

- # I never thought through love we'd #
- Yeah, I'm fine.

- That's a lot of blood.
- That's a lot of blood at once.

I'm fine. I put a towel on it.

It's all wrapped up.

So, are you guys sure about this?

- What do you mean?
- You two are pretty young.

Yeah, but you and Mom got married
right after college.

Also, isn't it a little weird
that you didn't ask my permission?

What, Dad?

I'm just saying,
don't you think it's a little odd

that he didn't, like, go for the permish?

- The permish?
- Yeah.

It's just the polite thing to do
to just go for the permish.

Simple heads-up. "Hey, man. Hey, Jim.

I'm marrying your daughter, who you spent
your whole life raising alone. "

Dad, why are you doing this?!

Why are you picking a fight
on literally the best day of my life?!

I got a question for you:
Who the fuck is this motherfucker?!

- What?
- I don't fucking know that guy.

Yes, you do.
You've known him for fucking years.

Yes, technically, I know him,

but I don't really know him,
like husband know him.

Well, now you do.

- Where are you gonna live?
- Oh, you want to know where we're gonna live?

- I would love to know 'cause I thought you were moving back in here with me!
- Oh.

Well, we-we're gonna live here in Atlanta.

- You are?
- Yeah, we could end up living down the street,

but instead you make it all about you,

- like always.
- No, no.

Sweetie, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It's not about me.

It isn't.

I just want everything for you,
that's all.

- I know you do, Daddy.
- Oh.

I'm so sorry.
I should've told Oliver to call you.

No, this is your decision, okay?

Congratulations. Welcome to the family.

Are you sure your hand's okay?

- There's, like, blood everywhere.
- Yeah, look, it's totally fine.

- Yeah.
- Come, b-bring it in.

Oliver.

All right, well...

Let's dive right in.
I can't wait to plan this.

No need. I'm gonna ask Heather to plan it.

Heather? She... Isn't she the one
who parties all the time?

Yeah, which is why she's perfect.

She planned Crunk Fest for our sorority.

Yeah, Crunk Fest was lit.

Yes, that's right.
You did say Crunk Fest was lit.

Oh, yeah.

Any-any thoughts of where
you might want to get married?

I thought we'd get married
where you and Mom got married.

Palmetto House. Scarlett speaking.

Hi, Scarlett.

My name is Jim Caldwell.
I don't know if you remember me.

I got married at your inn many years ago.

Oh, yes, Jim, I remember your wedding.

Oh, great.

Well, now my daughter Jenni
would love to get married

at the Palmetto as well, uh, next summer.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Now, May is fully booked,

and as you know, given the size

of the island, we can only book
one wedding per weekend.

Okay, uh, how about June 1st?

June 1st? June 1st it is.

Yes. Uh, we'll book the entire place.

Let me get you a credit card.

I'll take care of that later, Jim.

You're a friend of the family.

- Oh.
- See you June 1st.

That sounds great.

Just need to find a pen that works.

I'm sorry?

Wha... Hello?

Jenni Caldwell, June 1st.

Mercy.

Your wedding has been booked.

Who's in the house?

Big Daddy's in the house.

- Who's in the house?
- Big Daddy's in the house.

And Oliver's in the house.

Yes, Oliver is.
Oliver's in the house, too.

Yeah, we're all in the house.

- Palmetto House, my gosh.
- And now that you've done your research,

it's time to answer the question
we've all been waiting to ask:

Is it dead?

m afar,

e raccoon is indeed dead.
- Dead.

I would like to use
one of my approach points.

sorry, the raccoon was
in fact not dead.

Up next,
from Black Sheep Productions.

- This is... Masquerade!
- # Masquerade #

# I feel like an animal,
the way you got me tonight #

# Yeah, I'm an animal...

Yeah, tell them I'll be there
in three minutes. Okay.

- Margot. Margot.
- Yeah.

Sandra from the network called.

- In an upcoming episode of
Dirty Thirties... - Mm-hmm.

...they're feeling like Melody
is a bit of a... bit of a-a "B."

- A what?
- Like a b- uh, uh...

B- B, uh...

- Are you trying to say the word "bitch"?
- Oh, my gosh.

I would never, I support women, but yes.

Of course she's a bitch.

Reality television was built
as a platform for bitchy women.

These network executives are
starting to sound like my mother.

- Just tell them to fuck off.
- Okay.

- But in a nice way.
- Yeah.

Like how I would say it.

"Fuck off, y'all. "

- Not the same words.
- Uh, "We're-we're not seeing eye to eye. "

- Better. Mm.
- "Respectfully. "

- Uh, remember, Peyton's gonna be here for his pitch any minute now.
- Got it.

Neve? Dixon?

Hi!

Wait, I didn't realize
you were coming so soon.

- We made super good time.
- Oh, I'm so excited to see you.

- Hello.
- Welcome to L.A.

Oh, my God, it's Peyton Manning.

- Hey.
- Oh, hi.

- Margot Buckley.
- Hey. Peyton.

I've been so excited to pitch you this.

You know, um...

Are you engaged?

- Yeah.
- Oh, my God, you're engaged!

My baby sister's engaged.

- I'm engaged.
- Oh, my God. Okay.

Let me see, let me see.

You did so good.

You're gonna be my brother-in-law.

Oh, my God. Oh.

Okay, how did you do it? What did you say?
Did you get down on one knee?

Uh, Peyton Manning's
just kind of waiting right there.

Oh, yeah, but Peyton Manning can wait.

Oh, yeah, you know,
took her to Ruth's Chris

and just kind of said,
"Do you want to get married?"

And then I was like, "Yes!"

Okay, this is Neve and I
at Palmetto Island.

- The most beautiful place on Earth.
- Which our mama hates.

Oh, she hates it.

And this is us in our Esprit T-shirts.
We were obsessed.

- We never took them off.
- Never.

Why are all these photos
just you and Neve?

Don't y'all have like two other siblings
and also, you know, parents?

Oh, yeah, I don't like them,
and they don't like me.

Oh, I thought that was just like a,
like a cute thing you said.

- No, it's not.
- No.

That's too bad. All right.

If I may, where's the commode?

Oh, it's at the end of the hall,
on the left.

Cool.

Let me tell you something.

If you get married and abandon me,
I'm gonna...

Babe, what's wrong?

Mom's just made this whole thing
such a nightmare.

Dixon's the sweetest man on planet Earth,
but Mom doesn't approve.

Oh, my God. I cannot believe that woman.

That makes my blood boil.

He is a fantastic guy.

I don't know, I think it's his occupation.

Well...

Exotic dancing is a very solid job.

It's not just that. She's just like...
You know how she is, Margot.

She's obsessed with me doing it
at the club like Gwynny and Colton.

And, "Neve, do it exactly how Gwynny did. "

Why don't you just tell her
to back the "F" off?

Margot, I can't. I'm not like you, okay?

I'm the family peacemaker.

Okay.

Look...

I'm gonna plan your wedding.

I can't ask you to do that.

You're not asking me. I'm telling you.

You're my baby sister.

What did we say at Nana's?

Always in your corner forever.

Do you even know how to plan a wedding?

I planned 17 seasons of Altar Wars,

so I've got to have some sort of clue.

First things first, we need a venue.

You know where I want to have it.

Palmetto?

- What if Mom hates it?
- Who cares if she fucking hates it, that woman?

Nana would've loved it.

- Okay.
- And maybe Mom doesn't have to come.

I'm just saying.

Try it on, like a little tiny coat.

What if our family
doesn't come to your wedding?

Margot, our family has to come.

The Palmetto House. Leslie speaking.

Oh, yes, hello.
I would like to book a wedding

for this summer for Neve Buckley.

Uh, this is her sister, Margot Buckley.

Our grandmother used to live
on the island.

Of course.

Rosemary Buckley.

Oh, we loved her very much.

- Aw, thank you for saying that.
- Well, now,

as you know, given the size of the island,
we can only host one wedding per weekend.

Um...

how about June 1st?

June 1st.

That is available.

Oh, let me write it down right now.

The wedding of Neve Buckley.

Excellent.

Uh, let me get
your credit card information.

- # Remember #
- # Remember #

- # Remember #
- # Remember #

Honey, do we know her?

Oliver's got a huge family.

- She's probably one of his cousins.
- Ah.

- Would you like a hand? There we go.
- Oh, my goodness, thank you.

Yeah, a little precarious there.

- Listen...
- I was gonna ask you.

Yeah, I was gonna ask you the same.

- Oliver, hey.
- Mwah.

I can't believe we're getting married.

- I really can't believe it.
- Hey, man.

- Hey.
- Good to see ya.

How's it going? How's it going?
You, too. Come on.

- Margot Buckley. Yeah.
- Got it.

Oh, good, you get to wear shorts.
That's great.

And here I am in three layers.

I'm your fucking wedding planner,
and you're fucking getting married, bitch.

I'm fucking getting married, bitch!

Surprise, bitch!

Whoa.

# My bitch is getting married #

This bitch is getting married.

# I said, my bitch is getting married #

# My lovely daughter's getting married #

Bitch is hitched!

- No.
- This bitch is hitched!

- No!
- Guys.

- She's not a bitch.
- Sorry.

This is so real.

Whoa.

- Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!
- Oh, guys, hi.

You have no idea
how excited I am to see you.

- Okay, how's it going?
- Well, you know, your family's a little intense

- when they're all together, you know.
- Mm-hmm.

Like, it sounds like they hate each other,
but they just keep smiling

- while they're saying all this real mean stuff.
- Yeah, that checks out. Mm.

- Yeah, that's 100% how we do it in our family.
- Yeah.

So I'm gonna fill you in a little bit.

- Mama's judging the shit
out of everything. - Mm-hmm.

Gwynny's complaining
about her problems.

She thinks they're problems
but actually aren't problems.

And Colton's already called Rebecca
"the wife" at least three times.

Wait, what is Pastor Jerry doing here?
Pastor Luther is marrying y'all.

- He's coming on Saturday.
- It's fine.

I think Mom invited Pastor Jerry.
It's no big deal.

He hit on you during
our premarital counseling session.

- Ugh.
- He's a handsy Colonel Sanders,

- and I'm also pregnant, by the way.
- What?

Oh, my God, congratulations!

Thank you.
I don't want anyone to know.

- I cannot be having a premarital baby in my stomach...
- Oh.

- ... if you know what I mean.
- Yes, yes, yes.

But you're gonna be the cutest mom ever.

And I'm having a really hard time
keeping quiet

because I'm very, very excited
for both of y'all.

Yeah, I-I think we should just tell 'em.
You know, I think they'd be happy.

- No. No.
- No. No, sweetie.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hi, Mama.

Well, aren't we looking Hollywood?

Oh, I'm... wearing a blazer
and some shorts.

- Yeah.
- But, yeah, th-thank you.

And what an interesting choice
to get married here on Palmetto Island.

Yeah. Neve and I loved
our summers here with Nana.

You two girls and my mother,

- just thick as thieves.
- That's right.

Probably 'cause she gave you
all that candy.

Or the unconditional love
and support we needed.

But you know what? It's not important.
How are you, Gwynny?

I'm okay. I mean, you know
I've been through a lot lately.

I- I got a lot going on at the house.

You know, I wanted a new birdbath,
and they brought this birdbath,

and then they put a big border around it,
looks like a grave.

- Wow.
- Looks like somebody's buried out there.

And I've had to get off of sugar...
for this wedding.

I've been on a cleanse for three days.

I'm weak as water.

I can't even make a fist.

It'll be fine. I'll be okay.
I'll push through for you.

Thank you, Gwynny.

Well, you remember Pastor Jerry.

The wife was so happy to see you,
Pastor Jerry.

Well, I'm blessed to see all of you.

And you, too, Margot.

- Aw.
- Thank you, I feel very blessed without the touching.

Please don't touch me. Thanks.

Wait, is that your kid in the tree?

Yeah. Yeah, Dawson Scott. There he is.

Hi, Aunt Margot.

Do kids
not climb trees in California?

Probably... probably too busy smoking 'em.

Are you smoking?

No.

Right.

Shot! Shot!
Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!

Okay, well, I'm gonna go check us in.

- I'm gonna go get us checked in.
- Okay.

Oh. After you.

No, please. You go first.

Hi there.
I'm checking into the bridal suite.

My name is Margot Buckley.

My sister is Neve Buckley,
and she's getting married this weekend.

Oh, oh, h-hold on, hold on.
I- I think there might be a little mistake.

Uh, 'cause my daughter is getting married.

Jenni Caldwell.

Uh, i-it's booked.
We-we booked the weekend.

Well, now, I only have Neve Buckley
written down here.

No, that's not possible.
That's literally impossible.

I'm looking at the book.

- Okay, well, look at the book again.
- Yeah.

I spoke to your mother Scarlett.
She booked it.

In fact, bring her out.

Scarlett! Get out here!

Scarlett, it's Jim!

Oh, she passed last summer.

Oh.

- That's terrible. I'm sorry.
- Sorry for your loss.

Thank you. Uh, she meant
so much to this place...

That being said.

I, uh, I spoke with her last summer.

Oh, when?

Uh, June 15th.

That is the day that she died.

Here, give me the book.

What are you doing?

What are...
Are you letting him touch the book?

He can't do that to the book.

What is...

Look right there.

"Jenni Caldwell, wed... "

It's the last thing
your dead mother wrote.

What is this David Copperfield shit?

Oh, no.

We've double-booked your weddings.

- What?
- What?

Uh, I'm sure we can figure this out.

There's no way to figure it out.

We're on a tiny island.
There's nowhere else to stay.

And there's nowhere to get married
except the dock.

There's nowhere else to have the reception
or the rehearsal dinner but the farmhouse.

And you only have one bridal suite.

I understand that this is very stressful.

Uh, I've got a lot of stuff going on, too.

- I don't give a shit.
- Yeah, I don't have the bandwidth

for anything but this
"double-booked" situation.

What, you double-booked?

What do you mean you double-booked?

We booked your wedding and his
daughter's wedding on the same weekend.

Oh, Jesus.

Well, of course this would happen here.

It's Nana's ghost haunting us.

Well, I've got the situation
under control.

Doesn't seem like it.

Okay, well, why don't you guys go get
one of the specialty welcome cocktails,

and I'll just iron out this little snafu.

- Margot's so good at this stuff, so I'm sure she'll have it all fixed up.
- Okay. Hold our... hold our luggage.

Wait a second.
Whose credit card's on file?

Wait, wh-what does that
have to do with anything?

We only have yours, ma'am.

- Yes, of course.
- O-Okay.

But Scarlett said she didn't need
to see my credit card

'cause I'm a friend of the family.

And then my daughter's wedding planner,
who is a drunk child,

took over the planning.

Shh. Whose credit card
do you have on file?

- Let me finish explaining.
- Yours.

- So the place is legally...
- Yours.

So, whose credit card's on file?

You know damn well
whose credit card he has on file.

Stop saying "credit card. "

Credit card, credit card, credit card.

Let's just all calm down.

- Oh, I'm clam.
- Oh, I'm super calm.

- You don't seem calm.
- I'm dead calm.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

But let's get something straight:

My sweet little pumpkin's
gonna have her special day,

and no one's getting in the way of that.

Not you, not some dead lady
who can't keep her shit together.

No one. And come Saturday,

if I look out on that dock
and that bride's not my baby girl,

that bride's going in the fucking lake!

Okay?

Splish-splash, bitch taking a bath.

Okay, you listen to me.

My sister is a literal angel
who walks on this Earth.

- Oh.
- And I'm gonna watch that dock

night and day and make sure
she gets married there.

- And if you try to fuck with me...
- Mm-hmm.

- ... I'm gonna bust your face.
- Mm.

Because I've been doing Pilates
for over 20 years now,

- and my core is a solid-ass rock.
- Oh, really?

Doesn't look like a rock.

Try me. You're gonna break
your fucking hand,

and I'm gonna kick your ass,
and it's gonna be embarrassing.

'Cause you're big and I'm little.

Okay, you're gonna love it in the lake.

You're gonna become a local legend
like the Loch Ness Monster.

When you end up in the lake,
it's gonna wash off your terrible dye job.

I don't dye my hair.

Nice try.

I don't.

I know.

Listen to me. I have legally,
officially booked this place,

so you and your daughter
and all of her friends can go take a walk.

Now, key me.

Welcome to the Palmetto House.

Thank you. You've been a delight.

You said you handled it!

Why didn't you just give them
your credit card?!

Well, you said it was reserved!
I didn't know I had to double-check!

So, you never even called this place?

I have social anxiety,
so I just sent emails.

You get anxiety from dialing a phone?

I can do anything
that doesn't require a phone call!

Where's all the money
we Venmo'd you for this place?

I have it with me on my phone!

I'm sorry! What else do you want?!

I don't know,
aren't you the wedding planner?

- Yeah, and she just apologized.
- I'm sorry, I'm just...

That sister of the bride,
she got me... really riled up.

That lady, I mean, she got under my skin.

Don't call her "lady. "

Why not? She is a lady.

Yeah, but men only use the term "lady"
when they're mad at a woman.

It's super sexist.

- Mm-hmm.
- You're a sexist.

What? No.

L- Lady's an honorific.

Not when you're like,
"that lady" with a sexist tone.

Okay, well, that woman

is a real skanky bitch.

Oh, my God!

- Oh, yeah!
- Dad, cut it with the "lady" shit!

Okay? Why can't you just drop it?

Sounds like you don't want me around.
Is that right?

- No, not really.
- Guess what, I'm out of here.

- 'Kay, bye.
- See ya, bye.

- See ya, bye!
- Bye!

Can you believe that?

He, like, is totally inappropriate,
and then he just, like,

comes back and he apologizes
and expects me to just, like, dissolve...

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

- I love you so much.
- I'm sorry.

I love you, too.

It's just that I want your wedding
to be perfect,

- and it's freaking me out.
- I'm freaking out, too,

and you freaking out
doesn't help me not freak out,

and do you get that?

- I hear your truth.
- And I hear your truth.

This has been an emotional roller coaster.

# Baby, baby, baby...

- I feel terrible.
- Don't feel terrible.

- I feel guilty.
- Don't feel guilty.

- Are we bad people for kicking them out?
- We are not kicking them out.

- Well, we kind of are.
- They didn't make a proper reservation.

I mean, we are kind of
kicking them out, though.

I have done three separate site visits.

And meanwhile,
their wedding planner hasn't done one.

- She hasn't been here once.
- Okay, that's true.

Listen, you're gonna have
the greatest weekend of your lives.

I want you to focus on that.

I'm gonna get another drink.

Am I a shitty person?

No, you're not a shitty person.

We're just doing a shitty thing.

Oh, no, you can, uh,
just put it on my tab.

You don't have to do that.

Accept it as an apology...

for calling you the Loch Ness Monster.

Well, thank you.

And-and you know what?

I want to apologize for suggesting
that you dye your hair.

Because clearly you don't.

So, where are you guys gonna go?

There's a Wet 'N Wild Water Park,
uh, and a...

a Super 8 nearby,
about 200 miles from here,

that'll accommodate most of us.

- Uh-huh.
- So...

We're hoping that will all work out.

- Hmm.
- Uh, I also baked my daughter's wedding cake.

You baked it?

I don't know how I'm gonna get it
out there, but we'll make do.

That'll be part of the fun,
part of the adventure.

Hmm.

So, why the Palmetto?

My grandmother used to have
a house on the island,

and my sister and I would come
every summer to visit her.

So we have all these great memories here.
How about you?

My wife and I got married here.

Oh. Well, that's...

Which one is she?
I'll make sure and avoid her,

'cause I'm sure she's lovely,
and then I'm gonna feel guilty.

- Oh, sh-she's not here.
- Where is she?

She's dead.

That's a weird way to say that.

She's dead.

He married his dead wife here.

Oh.

And he's so into his daughter that
he baked her fucking wedding cake.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

I think you're right.
I think we're gonna have to let them stay.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Yes?

If you're willing to be reasonable
and accommodating,

we're willing to split the venue.

Oh, my God, that's incredible.

Uh, I'm so sorry.
I don't know if that would be possible.

My inn is not large enough
to accommodate everyone here.

Whatever we say in front of you, Leslie,
will be our legal negotiated agreement.

Negotiation on, Leslie.
You're our legal mediator.

I don't even know what that is.

- Start writing. Yeah.
- Figure it out.

Rehearsal dinner. You take outside,
and we'll take the farmhouse.

- Ceremony? We need the dock.
- Oh, we're gonna need the dock.

Well, okay,
we're willing to split the dock.

It-it's too tiny and narrow.
I don't think we can split it.

- He's correct about that.
- Maybe we could split it by time.

- Yes, we'll take the first half of sunset.
- And we'll take the second half.

Is timing the sunset even a thing?

- I think that's gonna work out.
- Okay, what about the reception?

Flip it. You take the farmhouse.

- And you go outside.
- Yeah, perfect.

Uh, uh, Caldwell reception...

Okay, that's gonna give me time
to get a tent.

Oh, the thing is,
we don't allow tents on the lawn.

- Yeah, she's gonna need a tent.
- I'm gonna need a tent.

Actually, I don't think
that will be possible...

- Just get the woman a fucking tent!
- Bend the rules, Leslie.

Guess we're getting a tent.

- This is a fire hazard.
- Do we have a deal?

- I think we do.
- I think we do.

- Great.
- Great.

Jenni, looks like you're getting
married here after all.

- We are?
- Yes.

Oh, my God!

- Jim Caldwell. Hi. How are you?
- Hi.

- I'm Margot.
- Jenni.

Yeah, you loved it.

I loved it.

Well, how do, Margot?

Mama.

Good night, Grandma.

Good night, Aunt Margot.

Oh, good night, buddy.

You don't know his name.

- Yes, I do.
- What is it?

- Theodore.
- It's Tucker Lee.

Tucker Lee. I knew that.

They're family, Margot.

You know, you don't even put me
in the family Christmas card.

I'm fine with it. It's just,
you're being a little hypocritical.

That's because you don't visit
at Thanksgiving, which is when

- we take the family Christmas photo. -
I can't- my work. I actually have a job.

It's fine. Let's not do this
right now, okay?

Let's focus on Neve.

What do you think
of this Dixon?

Well, I think
he's a great person.

And I think he's gonna be
a wonderful husband and a great father.

When they decide to have kids one day.

Well, I have concerns.

Mom, Nevey is very happy.
That should be all that concerns you.

Well, you only live for yourself-
you know, you're childless-

and I don't think
you understand how important

a partner with a steady paycheck is.

You just crammed so many insults
into so few words.

That was like an insult haiku.

Mom, not everybody wants to live
in the Atlanta suburbs

and go to the club every day.

Well, I can't right now.

Are you joining us?

I think I'm fine.

Y'all have a good night.

So, our daughter's
getting married this weekend.

I wish you were here.

I think you'd be proud.

I hope you'd be proud.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

# Hey, I just met you...

Oh.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I didn't... I didn't realize it was...
a shared bathroom situation.

Oh, yeah, right,
'cause of the double-booking.

- Right.
- I'm just finishing up her hair.

Happy to work on yours if you'd like.

Give you a fun little wave

- or a cute little flip.
- Ooh.

No, I-I'm, I'm good.

Okay, well, if you change your mind,

- we accept walk-ins, but
we're filling up fast. - Ah.

Okay.

I love your bangs, by the way.

Oh, thanks.

- Super cute.
- Thank you.

You remember
my old work colleague Dave?

- Mm.
- So, Dave lost a hundred pounds.

- No. - Yes. And I asked him,
"Is it Ozempic?" - What the fuck.

Oh, and, Davey,
I just want to say thank you again.

I realize planning my sister's wedding is
not really part of the scope of your work.

When your boss asks you
to do something, you do it.

- Yeah.
- Even when it's deeply personal...

- That's right.
- ... and not really part of your job.

What, what?

What are you doing here?

You got to get out, honey.

Colton is driving me crazy.

He's getting under my skin,
and he's razzing me.

He's asking me if,
at work, Dixon shows wiener.

Well, who cares if he does?
It's just a job.

- He doesn't.
- Which he doesn't. Of course.

And then Gwynny piled on, Mama walks in,
then they both start making fun of me.

- He's a Chippendale. Get over it.
- It's not just his job.

It's our family's code for he's trash.

The fact is he's not just a dancer.

He was a goddamn field medic
for the National Guard.

No one asks me about that.

And the worst thing is he wanted
our first dance to be to Rascal Flatts,

and I said no.

- Ooh, yeah, Rascal Flatts?
- Ew.

No one in our family can have
a kind or honest conversation

because they hate their own lives
so they have to shit on yours.

And you're starting a new family, so
you can leave this old toxic one behind.

Oh, I don't want to leave them behind.

Yes, you do. And you'll see that you do.

Cheers.

As many of you know,
music was my first love

until I met the love of my life, Jenni.

I was gonna do a speech,

but then I thought of a better way
of expressing myself

would be through the art of DJing.

What? Baby.

- # You say you wanna love me forever #
- Come on, let's go.

Oh, shit.

# But, baby, I don't like
all the pressure #

# What I gotta do to make you know now #

Oh, my God.

# You need to slow down,
you need to slow down...

All he did was push a button.

But he's so talented.

# You need to, you need to...

The other wedding sounds like
they're having fun.

Everybody, clap your hands!

Everyone, make some noise!

Well, how's everything out in L.A.?

L.A.? Uh, it's great.
I continue to love it.

Have you been affected by the fires?

No.

Have you been affected by the floods?

- No. No.
- No?

- Have you been affected by taxes?
- What?

Have you been affected by the homeless?

I don't know, Mom. How's Atlanta?

Are you affected by the racism?

- Oh.
- Oh.

The sins of the country
are blamed on the South.

I know. I was just having
a little light fun.

You know, family fun.

Just joking.

Well, how's work?

My work? Is, uh, is going great.

I actually just set up this show that I...

I never understand anything
that you do or say.

I'm literally speaking English, so...

Oh, Colton's business is exploding.

That's great. And so your-your business...

We represent businesses
in the market of business.

So, anyone that has a business
and they want to take that business

sort of to the next level
in the field of business...

- Uh-huh.
- ... that's our business.

- Cool.
- Mm.

And did you hear that Gwynny's house
is being featured in Garden & Gun?

So, they will come
and they will, uh, take pictures...

- Uh, yes, they're gonna take
pictures of me... - Uh-huh.

- ... my garden...
- Okay.

...and all our guns.

Mm-hmm.

So proud.

I am gonna, um, check on the whole wedding

and see how things are going,
and I will be right back.

Mom is pushing all of my buttons.

I am so worried that Dixon
and his groomsmen

are gonna do some sort of
choreographed number 'cause they're doing

that gyrating thing- I really
don't think that they can help it.

What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

My paranoid mama thinks I'm pregnant
because I'm not drinking.

Also, I need a drink.

Just give it to me. Give it to me.

St...

You!

Stop filling her drink.

You said to keep them filled at all times.

She's pregnant.

- Shh!
- Oh.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
- Okay, no, no, I'll take it. I'll take it.

- Give it to me. - Give it to
me. - Give it to me, please.

- Hey!
- I'm gonna take it.

Hi. How are you guys?

Enjoying yourself?

Okay, good.

Oh, okay, uh...
All right, everyone inside!

Grab all the outdoor games you can!

Yeah, move it in! Let's go!

Everyone in! Everyone!

Hurry, people. Let's go.
Let's get in. Come on.

- Whoa. Someone grab these balloons.
- No, no, no.

- Thank you, by the bar. Great.
- No, wait.

You do not get to bring
all of your lawn games...

- It's really raining.
- I don't care.

- Thank you for understanding, everyone!
- Oh, my...

I don't know what it is about him,

but if I wasn't married,
I'd climb him like a redwood.

- What?
- Yeah.

- Ooh.
- # Baby, baby, let's get together...

All right.

Now we're talking.

# Me and you #

Oh, my God.

# And do the things, ah #

# Do the things #

- What the hell?
- # That we #

# Like to do #

- Oh, yes.
- # Oh, do a little dance #

# Make a little love #

# Get down tonight #

# Do a little dance #

# Make a little love, get down tonight #

# Get down tonight...

Hey, I'm gonna grind on you.

Thank you.

# Get down tonight, baby #

# Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh #

# Get down, get down, get down #

# Get down, get down tonight, baby #

# Get down,
get down, get down #

Hey, girl.

- Hi. Hey, girl. Hi.
- Hey.

Sorry to crash.

Oh, my gosh, anytime.

Excuse me, everyone. Hello.
Uh, my name is Jim.

Hi.

I am the, uh, father of
one of the brides here.

Jenni back there. That's my daughter.

And, uh...

I just want to start
by saying that, you know,

this is obviously not what any of us
signed up for this weekend.

Uh, and that a lot of you
are not part of our wedding,

but we do share some common ground,

and we're all here to celebrate love.

So why can't we just celebrate together?
Right?

I know Bailey and Knox know
what I'm talking about, right?

As do Eva Grace, and, uh,

- Scotty Joe, Shelby
Lynn... - Yup. - Yep.

- ... and Tucker Lee. Yeah.
- Yeah, dog.

- How the fuck does he know all their names?
- How do you not?

That's my D-O-double-G.

You are my dog.

We are two dogs
sniffing each other's butts.

Yes, we are.

- Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
- Woof, woof.

You'll never out woof me, dog.

It's fun.

And of course, the lovely Miss Flora.

Wha...

You look beautiful tonight.

I love a gentleman.

I actually just wanted
to, uh, toast the love of my life,

my darling daughter.

Aw.

And, uh, well, if-if you'll indulge me,
it goes a little something like this.

# Baby, when I met you,
there was peace unknown #

# I set out to get you
with a fine-tooth comb #

# I was soft inside #

# There was something going on #

# You do something to me #

# That I can't explain #

# Hold me closer and I feel no pain #

# Every beat of my heart #

# We've got something going on #

# Tender love is blind #

# It requires a dedication...

This is fucked up, right?

Yeah.

# Needs no conversation #

# We ride it together, ah ha #

# Making love with each other, ah ha...

That's, like, his daughter, right?

Yes, it is.

- Huh.
- Yes, it is.

# That is what we are #

# No one in between #

# How can we be wrong? #

I'm a TV producer. Why am I here?

# Sail away with me to another world #

# And we rely on each other, ah ha #

# From one lover to another, ah ha #

# From one lover to another, ah ha #

- Okay, it's done.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

That was my surprise to you, Oliver.

Oh.

Well, how sweet was that?

The other wedding's already
having toasts and performances.

If you want toasts, I have toasts.

I love you, and I have some things to say.

- No, no, no.
- No, this is good.

- Please don't.
- Just wait.

It's not a good idea.

- Don't. I wouldn't.
- You're gonna like it.

I just wouldn't do it. Okay.

This should be good.

- I don't know how many hours that Jenni...
- Excuse me. I would like to...

- What?
- Just a minute. I'm gonna do...

- I'm gonna give a toast, too. Okay.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Hey, everybody.

Okay, eyes up here
for the official rehearsal dinner.

Oh, shit, she's fucked up.

- Can I get a whoop-whoop?
- Whoop-whoop.

Whoop-whoop.

Thank you.

Uh, I just want to have
a little official toast for my sister...

Stop playing cornhole!

Sorry.

It's okay.

Neve, you are literally
the best person I know.

And one time I met Malala
at a Starbucks, and...

she wasn't that great.

When I was your age, I was a hot mess.

And I just could not get my shit together.

But I did sleep with one of
the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

- Not the short one.
- Flea!

No.

You know what? Back to Neve.

You are everything to...

- Oh.
- No.

I'm okay.

Oh.

The other thing
I wanted to say is you're the best,

and you're pretty, like in a natural way.

Maybe you've had
too much to drink.

No, no, no, I'm still talking.

Let's hear it for Margot, everyone!

Yay. Get her off.

No, I'm not letting go of the mic.

- You have a strong grip.
- Stop it. Stop it!

- I'm so sorry. Oh, my God.
- I'm fine.

- No, it's fine.
- Where did I get you? Where did I get you?

My eyeball,
but it's okay, I think.

Okay, let's get...
let's get some ice on it.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

Are there some cold White Claws available
to create a compress?

I'm so glad y'all are here.

And I think they're making,
like, little cute little shirts...

Nevey? Excuse me. I'm the wedding sister.

Thanks.

I'm sorry.

- This is not at all what I wanted to happen.
- It's okay.

- Like, not at all.
- It's fine, it's fine.

- I'm sorry.
- Things went a little sideways, but you know...

I bear some responsibility,
like a little bit of the responsibility,

- but the truth is, if you
drill down on it... - Mm-hmm.

...it's all his fault.

It was not entirely his fault.

You did get very drunk
and very belligerent.

- Me? - Yes. - You
did deck the bride.

- On accident.
- Yeah, okay,

I guess a face accident.

Ooh.

Your face is an accident.

Listen, I get it.

- It's very stressful with Mom and Gwynny...
- What?

- ... and Colton, and you drank too much.
- No, no, no.

I'm drunk because I drank your drinks
because you're, you know.

Stop. Shh!

- Stop.
- I'm just saying, I'm trying to protect you.

You could've put them aside, okay?

Well, hindsight is twenty-twenty.

Okay, fine.

Oh, I planned a whole spa thing
for us tonight,

so we can have massages...

- No, I think that you should go to bed.
- Why?

Because tomorrow is my wedding, and
I really don't want you to be shit-faced.

- Oh, okay, well...
- Okay?

- Oh, my God! Suze, I'm c-coming.
- Okay.

Are you okay?

Oh, no, is it your face?

No, no, my face is fine.

Okay, phew.

D- Do you want to talk about it?

I'm so nervous about tomorrow.

Okay, uh... that seems normal.

Everyone just tells us that
we're too young and we should wait,

but my parents didn't wait
and they were happy,

and if they would've waited,
then I wouldn't even be here

because my mom would've gotten sick
and died before they even had me.

What does your dad say?

Oh, I cannot talk to Dad about this.
Are you kidding?

He's so worried about me all the time.

Like, his whole life is me.

Yeah, that's a lot of pressure
to put on you.

That his happiness is riding on yours?

I never thought about it that way.

What do you think I should do?
Just tell me.

I'll do whatever you say.

- Why would you want to know what I think?
- I heard your speech.

You were so honest and badass,

and you've, like,
lived a full life, you know?

Like, maybe I shouldn't get married.

Maybe I should just move to L.A.
and fuck a Red Hot Chili Pepper.

No, no, no. Don't do that. Don't... No.

What's Flea?

You know what? I think that maybe
you're having wedding night jitters.

Yeah, you know,
I think you're right.

Wow, thank you, Margot.

Really, I feel so much better.

You got it, bathroom buddy.

Okay, I'm just gonna get an Advil,

and I will get out of your hair.

What?

Nothing.

You're awesome. Thank you.

- I can't believe what that lady...
- Ow.

...that female person- did to my baby.

She didn't mean to.

You know, she's actually nice, by the way.

Oh, yeah, she was really nice
when she physically assaulted you.

Okay.

Let's get to work.

I'll go lightly.

So, do you just do reality TV?

Oh, no, I do everything.

- I actually do lots of Marvel stuff.
- Oh.

She can do creature makeup.
She can make you look like an alien.

Oh, my Lord.

Here's my look.

What do y'all think?

It looks a little poofy.

It's just, like, popping out a bit.

You know what, sweetie?
Let me help you for a second.

Thank you. We'll be right back.

What are they even talking about?

- You're showing.
- What?!

- Yes.
- No.

Oh, my God. Is it really that noticeable?

Try and suck it in.

Jane, can we get your help really quick?

- Oh, yeah, sure.
- Thank you. We'll be right back.

I don't know how they gonna fix that.

Nobody uses
the proper underpanties anymore.

Um, can we put a peplum on that, or...?

- Of course.
- Oh, perfect.

This happened overnight.

Okay, here she is.

It still looks a little poofy.

By the way, did y'all talk
to the other bride's father?

Just a lovely man.

Oh, did y'all see that duet
he did with her?

- So cute.
- It was sweet.

Did you think that was cute?
I thought it was incestuous.

- What?
- You're gross.

You know you were all thinking it.

"Islands in the Stream,"
that is a sexual song.

And he is Kenny Rogers,

and he made his daughter
into Dolly Parton.

- Stop.
- You are so unfair.

He just loves his daughter so much,
and I think that is very, very sweet.

He even does her hair.

But does he do it well?

No, she looks like a road whore.

Road whore?

He treats her like a child,
and for some reason she puts up with it.

It's like they're trying too hard
or something.

It's all like they're putting on a show.

How do you know?
You don't know them.

Mom, I produce
reality television shows for a living.

Trust me, I know what's real
and I know what's fake,

and that is fake.

- # You and me #
- Good to see you.

# You and me #

# Nobody, baby, but you and me #

# Hey, hey, hey #

- # You and me #
- # My, my, my, my #

# My, my, my, my #

# Nobody, baby, but you and me #

# If the stars don't shine #

# If the moon won't rise #

# If I never see the setting sun again #

# You won't hear me cry as I testify #

# Please believe me, boy,
you know I would lie #

- # As long as there is #
- # You and me #

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh #

# Nobody, baby #

Dad.

Oh.

Yes. Sorry.

To get us started, uh,
we're gonna have a, a poem

read by Jenni's best friend

and maid of honor Heather Diaz.

"Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You're off to Great Places!

You're off and away!

You have... "

Sup, fam? Pastor Luther.

Oh. Hi, I'm Margot.

Thank you so much for being here.

Uh, I'm wedding the planning.

I, or, um...

Pastor Luther,
hear we're tag-teaming on this.

No, Pastor Jerry, I think Pastor Luther
is going to lead the way.

Yeah, I'm gonna walk the property
and just get a sense of the vibe.

But I can tell you this,
it's... it's feeling good.

Real good.

It is?

Thank you.

I, too, am gonna walk the property
and get a sense of the vibe.

- Pastor Luther!
- "And you know what you know.

And you are the guy
who'll decide where to go. "

I love you.

Heather, Heather, Heather, keep going.

Oh, that's all I was gonna read.

- No, no, read a little bit more.
- Are you sure?

Yeah. It's a lovely book.

- Okay. Oh.
- Yeah.

- Take your time, take your time.
- Okay.

It's okay. Everything is set.
We are ready to go.

It's just gonna be a few minutes now.

- Stand by.
- Copy that.

Hey, look at Dawson Scott's face.

Your makeup person did that, Margot.

What?

- "... is just waiting. "
- Hi, Dad.

"Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite. "

- Keep going.
- Okay.

- How long is this poem?
- I have no idea.

I had to memorize it in the sixth grade.

It's actually pretty long.

"With your head full of brains
and your shoes full of feet,

you're too smart to go down
a not-so-good street. "

- That's right.
- Yeah, yeah.

- Now.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't stop there.

Hey, doesn't everyone want to hear,
you know, how it, how it ends up?

It just... it gets kind of random.

Do it, Heather. Do it.

Stop making it weird.

Okay.

It's a classic story. Just do it.

- "Out there... "
- Oh, my God.

- What?
- I know what he's doing.

He's intentionally running out
the sunset clock.

No, come on.

That doesn't sound like something
someone would really do.

"... because
you'll have the speed.

You'll pass the whole gang
and you'll soon take the lead.

Wherever you fly,
you'll be best of the best.

Wherever you go,
you'll be top of the rest. "

That was really good.

Thank you, Heather. That was great.

How are we doing here?

You have to help us.
He is using up all of our sunset.

I have no vested power
to do anything here.

Leslie, it's half sunset!

- Half of the sunset is gone!
- Half of the sunset is gone!

Do something!

I'm gonna get married in the dark!

Enjoy your special day.

The Places You Will Go.
It's all about the journey.

No one spells that out
better than Dr. Seuss.

Whose real name is? Does anyone know?

Theodor Geisel!

Shut up.

Theodor Geisel. Yes.

They're-they're getting to the end part.

Okay, okay. Stand by, stand by.

I vow to love you with
the unconditional grace of Jesus.

I vow to support your dreams
as Jesus would.

Whoa.

We'll create a home
Jesus would be proud of.

Relax.

I love you so much, Oliver.

You're the Jim to my Pam.

I can't help but wish my mom
was here today.

You would've loved her,
and she would've loved you.

Right, Dad?

Aw.

- Dad.
- What?

- I'm talking about Mom.
- Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

You may now kiss the bride.

Get ready to go down.

All yours, sweetheart.

Sorry if we're a little late.

Did he just wink at me?

Okay, so I guess we should probably

just do our ceremony
somewhere else, right?

It's so narrow and it's getting dark,
and we have,

you know, grandparents and other elderly.

Yeah, he's not wrong.

Well, of course y'all weren't gonna be
able to have your wedding on the dock.

It makes me wonder why we're even here.

Mama,

it would be the silliest thing
in the whole wide world

if we came all the way here
and we didn't get married on the dock,

so that's what we're doing.

Okay.

Let's go to the dock.

Everybody, march!

Have, uh, everyone
proceed to the dock, please.

Can I make one final objection...

Okay. Never mind.

Quickly, grab that. Grab that. Yes.

Second wedding, go! Hurry!

I told you it would all work out.

- Go, get married.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- Bye.

- Yeah, you look amazing. Gorgeous.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Go.

Hey, all right.

Hello.

I'm Pastor Luther.

- Uh, and this is one...
- Come on.

...very good-looking crowd

you have here today, you know.

One great-looking couple.

And one "F"- able pastor.

But today
is not about any of us.

Today is about the two of you.

And your love.

# With arms wide open #

# Under the sunlight #

# Welcome to this place #

# I'll show you everything #

What is this?

# With arms wide open #

Do we have the rings?

Yes.

Oh.

Yeah.

Huh?

Two?

Yeah!

No, you don't have to do it again.

Come on, let's go. Whoo!

No, no.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- No, no, no, no, no. - No,
no, no, no. - No, no, no, no.

Whoo!

Oh, shit.

Alligator!

Go!

Are-are you okay?

Didn't get to do my second song.

I lost my wife!

Where's the wife?!

- I said we should do the ceremony somewhere else.
- Baby, I know, I know.

But I didn't think there was a chance
in hell that that was gonna happen.

- Well, I did, and no one listened to me.
- Well, I'm sorry.

It was an honest mistake.
Can't you understand that?

It's not just this.

Baby, you've been
acting weird all weekend.

Your family thinks I'm trash,
so you overcompensate.

They don't think...
they don't think you're trash.

Yeah, they do. Okay, I'm not that dumb.

I love you. I just...

- I just need a minute.
- No, no.

Dixon.

Listen, that father of the bride
is behind all of this.

He purposely elongated the ceremony
to run out the sunset clock.

Good Lord, Margot,
why are you so obsessed with this guy?

- I'm not obsessed.
- Yes, you are.

- You sound very obsessed.
- No, no.

And it was not his fault. It's yours.

Wait. My fault?

- How is it my fault?
- Margot,

Dixon said it wasn't safe
to get married on the dock,

but instead I listened to you.

And now Dixon's upset at me
on my wedding day,

and we didn't even get married.

I- I'm sorry, honey.

- I-I...
- It's okay.

Wow, it's kind of funny.

Your sister looks a little bit like Gollum
from the Lord of the Rings franchise.

Why?

You need to follow through
just a little bit more.

I don't give a shit
about my golf game, Jim.

Fair enough.

I just needed this weekend
to be perfect for Neve.

Perfect.

Things go wrong at weddings.
I- I'm sure she understands.

Neve's just the most
important person in my life.

She's like my-my baby sister and my
daughter and my husband and my best friend

all rolled up into one.

I just have one person
that is so important to me,

I just, I get worried
that when she has this baby,

then she's gonna be closer to my family

'cause they have more in common,
and then she won't need me anymore,

and I don't know what I'm gonna do
if that happens.

Sorry, I'm just being
a little intense right now.

No. No, no, no, I-I totally get it.

I mean, Jenni's everything
in the world to me.

And I'm-I'm so scared
that now that she's married,

she'll be out of my life
and I'll be all alone.

Do you know that when your child turns 18,

that's 92% of the time
you're ever gonna spend with them.

I thought...

if I could give her the perfect wedding,
it would remind her of why she needs me.

I mean, just saying that out loud,
it sounds so pathetic.

No. That-that's not pathetic.

I completely understand.

I don't know what I'd do
without my daughter.

Well, I don't know
what I would do without my sister.

God, I love this place.

- Yeah.
- Mm.

I do, too.

I should go back.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

This is so stupid.

I had completely convinced myself...

Okay.

...that you had intentionally sabotaged
my sister's wedding.

And-and even as I say it,
it sounds insane.

Mm-hmm.

- It's dumb.
- Yeah.

Um...

Well, can I be honest?

- Of course.
- Um...

I did overhear you say some negative
things about me and my daughter and, uh...

Oh.

I purposely extended the ceremony so...

you would run out of sunset.

And I might've, uh, had
a conversation with the boat captain

about messing with the dock.

Just a little bit.

- Oh.
- I-I didn't want her to do what she did.

Point is, I didn't think it through,
and it...

and it wasn't very kind.

Mm.

And being kind is very central
to who I am as a person, so...

So I apologize. I'm sorry.

Uh-huh.

Well, we've both been acting very crazy.

- Tell me about it. I...
- Yeah.

It just... Congrats to Jenni and to you.

Thank you.

You don't know how much of a relief
that was to get that off my shoulders.

Mm.

He literally admitted it
straight to my face.

No, he did not!

That is why we're gonna go
chaos monkey on his ass.

Yeah, we're going chaos monkey!

Who y'all going chaos monkey on?

- That weird father of the other wedding, y'all!
- Yeah, the tall fucking weird guy!

That asshole is the reason
my wedding dress is in a garbage bag.

Yeah, he's behind
this whole dock incident.

- Oh, no, he wasn't.
- What?

- Oh, yes, he was.
- Oh, no, he wasn't.

Oh, yes, he was.

Now he is going down!

Oh, my God, we are going to chaos monkey
the motherfucking shit out of him.

Yes!

- Chaos! Chaos!
- Monkey! Monkey!

Let's go!

# Walk for me, baby...

Hi.

Are you like a professional DJ?

Oh, no.

Could've fooled me.

I think DJs are sexy as hell and...

It... I just think it's very hot.

Are you pregnant?

Are you into that?

No.

Hey, stretch. How tall are you?

I... six-three, I think.

Listen to me, I'm married,

but if I wasn't, I'd tear
your root system out with my teeth.

Huh.

I got a spray tan if you're wondering
what that smell is.

I wasn't.

# I'm an animal...

Colton, you got this. Fuck yes.

# The way you got me tonight,
yeah, I'm an animal...

Holy shit! It's Zebra from Masquerade!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God. It's Zebra from Masquerade.

Shots.

Zebra from Masquerade.

You kick ass.

Oh, my God. Zebra from Masquerade!

Zebra! Zebra! Zebra!

- Zebra from Masquerade!
- It's Zebra from Masquerade!

Oh, great.

What's Zebra and what's Masquerade?

It's a dance reality show.

Zebra's like the breakout star.
He's the best dancer on Earth.

- Oh. Okay.
- You'll see, you'll see.

# We gon' hop three times,
then we shake a leg #

# We go round and round,
baby, clap your hands...

Oh, yeah, yeah, I got, I got it.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

# Shake your thing,
shake yourself #

Though to be honest, he's...

not as good in real life
as he is on the show.

# Shake yourself,
move it, hop and skip #

# Zebra...

Let's go!

Whoo! All right!

Whoo!

Oopsie.

Getting awful close to that cake.

# Yeah, I'm an animal, animal,
now watch me move #

Here we go. Come on, y'all.

- All right.
- Get the fucking cake!

- I'm getting it. Shut up.
- Go.

It's a trap. It's a trick.
They're heading for the cake!

Stop following Zebra from Masquerade!

No. No, no, no, not the cake!

Whoa!

Hiya!

Not the cake!

Oh, shit.

- Whoo!
- We knocked over the cake!

- Chaos monkey! Chaos monkey! Chaos..!
- Yeah!

- Dad, what the hell was that?
- Just so you know,

that was not Zebra from whatever-the-fuck.

That was sabotage
from the sister of the other bride.

What? What are you talking about?

Why are you so obsessed with her?

I'm not! I'm just telling you what I saw.

Look, I get that me getting married
is a big change for you,

but can you please just
pull your shit together, Dad, please?

Of course, cuddle bug. I-I'm sorry.

Here, let me help.

Oliver's got it.

- That was crazy.
- I had a lot of fun.

- Did you?
- It was fun to do. I mean,

I don't ever dance or anything.

- That was great.
- So, yeah, that was cool.

This has been surprisingly fun.

I'm shocked to say, I agree.

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

Hey, Margot, how come,
how come we don't see you more?

You know, sometimes I just kind of feel
out of step with you all.

It's just... I know you all live
in the same city,

and you're married and you have kids
and you're getting married,

and my life just isn't like that.

Um, and sometimes when I'm with you,
I feel like... I'm an outsider.

- Sort of.
- No.

We all feel like outsiders.

You do not feel like an outsider.

I mean, your house is literally
gonna be in Garden & Gun.

Yeah, it's a big deal,
and I feel special, but...

I'm so fricking bored
that I could blow up my life at any time.

- What?
- What are you talking about?

Did something happen?

Nothing happens. That's the problem.

When that dock collapsed, that was
the most alive I've felt in years.

You know, like, two men got up
from under me and-and touched my butt.

I'm in major financial trouble.

What?

- Yeah.
- What about your businesses

- and other businesses?
- I know.

Kind of thought
we had the market cornered.

Come to find out that there's a pretty big
player in the game called Bank of America.

That's-that's just what banks already do.

Thank God for the wife.

Otherwise, I don't know
how we'd be getting through this.

Her family's helping us out,
but the dad of the wife,

he emasculates me
every chance that he gets.

You mean father-in-law.

- Yeah, the dad of the wife.
- But can you just say "father-in-law"?

I am saying that.
I'm saying the dad of the wife.

I think we're not gonna figure this out.

- Yeah.
- How are you doing, Nevey?

I hate to say it,
but I'm actually really happy,

and I feel like my life's
in a really good place.

That's 'cause you're young.

Oh, my darling.

If you need to go around naked, do it now.

Because one day,
everything is just gonna...

go to you-know-what in a handbasket.

Your breasts are going
to just point downward,

and it's gonna look like
you got a little, uh,

marble in the end of a tube sock.

And your stomach is gonna hang
like a small purse...

Hold on.

That is legit.

- What?
- Are y'all seeing this?

- Get over here.
- What? What is it?

- Oh, my God.
- Oh.

Is that the groom from the other wedding
making out with one of her bridesmaids?

- I would know those headphones anywhere.
- Oh.

That is so juicy.

The wife is gonna flip
when she hears about this.

- Oh, what a whore.
- Gwynny, we don't call women whores.

I mean, but she's doing whore stuff.

- Right, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, that poor kid.
Someone's gonna have to tell her.

- I can't do it.
- I'm not telling her, all right?

I'll do it. I'll talk to her.

No, I'm gonna do it.

- You just stay here.
- Okay.

# Don't look the other way, somewhere...

Hey, why are you here? What do you want?

I have to tell Jenni something.

There's no way,
not after what you guys did to our cake.

You're just trying
to sabotage the wedding.

Fine, I will tell you.

Me and my siblings just saw her fiance
making out with one of her bridesmaids.

That's a lie.

You're just trying to destroy
her wedding through subterfuge.

I am just telling you what I saw.

Why are you sticking your nose
into her business anyway?

- I'm trying to help, Jim.
- Help?

You said my daughter's hair
makes her look like a road whore.

- Okay.
- A road whore!

Not even a regular whore.

I'm sorry I tried to help.

I like your daughter.
I've had enough of you.

Good luck.

Jim. What's up, man?

What's going on?

Oh, my God, arepas, man, they're so good.

I'm really gonna miss these.

But they're-they're local.
They're-they're made in Atlanta.

No, 'cause we're moving
to Memphis, you know.

For Jenni's graphic design gig.

I thought you were moving
down the street from me.

Shit.

Did Jenni not tell you that?

She was gonna tell you
before the wedding weekend.

I- I'm so sorry she didn't, she didn't...

No. No, no, no, no, no.

- She did tell you?
- She did.

It slipped my mind 'cause, you know,
it's not that big of a deal.

Yeah. Jimmy.

Ollie.

You saw Oliver making out
with a bridesmaid?

- Yes.
- You know it was him?

Are you serious?

One hundred percent.

What an asshole.

Okay, I think we're jumping
to conclusions.

How could he act, like, so normal
while fully living a double life?

He's totally been gaslighting you
this entire time.

That's what men do: they gaslight.

Everyone, stop.

Do you really think you saw this, Dad?

Yes.

It's what was seen.

Oh, there she is.
Okay, here we go. You ready?

All right, this is dedicated to my lady.

Oh, snap!

# Put your hands up, stand up, get up,
lights on, let's get lit up and bounce #

# Know the vibes to live to get down #

# So we back up for now,
let's act up and smile #

# High heels,
they kicking off they sho es #

# Please don't make me lose it #

# Yeah, please don't make me lose it #

# I'm about to lose it...

Stop. Stop it.
Stop doing your surprise dance.

We, like, worked on it forever.
Can we just do it?

- Who did you make out with?
- What?

- Oh, no.
- What're...

What're you talking about?
What're you talking about?

You made out with one of the bridesmaids.

Who was it?

I would never do that.
I would never do that.

Well, my dad saw you.

Right?

It's what was seen.

But I, but I... Jim, I didn't do that.

- I didn't do that.
- Turn the music on.

Wait. What, why?

Because I'm the bride and I said so.

Okay.

# You spin my head right round...

What are you doing?

# When you go down #

# When you go down down #

# Hey, walk out of the house
with my swagger #

- Come on.
- # Hop in, there we go, I got places to go #

# People to see, time is precious,
I look at my Cartier, outta control #

# Just like my mind where I'm goin' #

# No women, no shorties,
no nothin' but clothes...

Relax. This is all in good fun.

Hey, no.

Fuck!

- Who was it?
- No one.

# Right round, when you go down...

Okay.

Hi.

Not Leslie.

# Right round, right round,
when you go down #

Whoo!

# When you go down down #

# From the top of the pole,
I watch her go down #

# She got me throwing my money around...

All right, cut the lights, cut the music.

Oliver, I love you.
How could you do this to me?

I love you, too. Why is this happening?

What's going on?

My dad saw Oliver making out
with a bridesmaid.

What? No. Who?

Where?

I- In... in front of the hotel.

Oh, that was... That was me and Addie.

You said that you knew it was Oliver.

My bad.

Everything is fucked now.

Why would you kiss another woman
on your wedding night?

What?!

She kissed my groomsman
and the weirdo that runs the hotel.

Jenni!

Wait!

Okay.

Okay, I'll be honest.
I never saw what happened.

The sister of the other bride,
she's the one who told me,

and-and she must've made a mistake.

So you never saw anything?

You looked me in the eye and lied to me.

Well, when were you gonna tell me
that you guys were moving to Memphis?

You've been lying to me, too.

So that's what this is actually about.

My whole life, I thought
you wanted me to be happy,

but in reality,
you just wanted to trap me near you.

That's not true.

Do you realize how stressful
and unhealthy it is

to have all your dad's happiness
riding on your own?

Jenni, please, you're the most important
person in the world to me.

Well, if that's true,
then why do we lie to each other

all the time about everything?

I don't want to see you again.

Oh, no!

I'm having a heart attack.

You're not having a heart attack.

My heart hurts so much.

Sounds like you're in labor.

Here comes another one.

Stop doing Lamaze breathing.

One, two, five.

I think he's really having
a heart attack right now.

He's just trying to manipulate me
to get me to stay.

Dad.

Get up.

Daddy?

Oh, my God. Oliver, call 911.

Oh, okay, I think
it was just a panic attack.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I shouldn't have done that.

Why did I do that?

Jenni?

Please, can't we just talk?

Leave me alone.

Jenni.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- No, no, no, no.
- Eh, eh, eh, eh. Hey.

What-what is this?

Seems we're making a-a bit of a wall.

That's right.

That really went well.

Jenni!

You're not getting past me!

Jenni!

Jenni!

Jenni!

Dixon.

- No, Margot, I just dried off.
- Listen...

I don't have the bandwidth
for more shenanigans right now.

I just want to personally apologize
for what happened at the dock.

That was an insane idea to support.

Look, I can't marry Neve
unless we tell your mom she's pregnant.

I get that dishonesty is like a...
like a cool thing in your family.

But I'm just, I'm not built that way.

Listen, you don't know my mother.
She will not understand.

Look, I feel like I've been pretty chill
about everything this weekend.

- I'm asking for one thing.
- Okay...

If that's what you want to do, baby,
that's what we're gonna do.

Are you serious?

What if Mom flips out?

I got my guy by my side.

I got my big sister by my side.

Let her flip out.

You know. Oh.

Hey, y'all, um...

There's something that I want to tell you
before we get married.

I'm pregnant.

Oh, my God.

My littlest is pregnant.

Oh, congratulations.

Oh, we're gonna have
a new baby in the family.

Thanks, y'all. Excited.

We got to get you enrolled

in prenatal classes at the hospital.

Thanks, Mama.
I was afraid y'all were gonna be mad.

Nevey, I'm gonna hook you up
with all the mommy and me stuff

in the Atlanta area.

And I've got boxes and boxes of clothes.

How good of a daddy is he gonna be?

# I need to belong #

# To someone #

# It hurts to be known as no one #

# Will ever some sweet boy #

# Bring love into my world, 'cause...

Hey, sweetheart, can you play, uh,
"Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts?

Rascal Flatts? Really?

Whoo.

Did you do this?

Maybe.

You made me
the happiest bride in the world.

# I set out on a narrow way...

- Beat it, Dawson Scott.
- Hey.

What are you doing?

Why are you all wet
and you smell like fish?

I jumped in the lake.

- You lied about my daughter's husband.
- I did not lie.

I saw what I saw.

You better back off.

I'm not gonna back off.
I'm twice as big as you.

- You're just the tiniest dog in the yard.
- And you know what?

The tiniest dog ends up
being the yard boss.

Except in this case, I'm the yard boss
due to my larger size and my alpha status.

Alpha? You're not an alpha.

- You're a beta at best. Probably a gamma.
- I think you mean delta.

No, gamma comes before delta, dumbass.

You know what? I don't give a shit.
You're so fucking annoying.

Look, the point is, after this weekend,
you're gonna be just like me:

all alone.

What?

No, I'm not.

That's not true.

Take it back.

What are you doing?

What... I can still see you.

Get out of here. Get out of here, weirdo.

Sorry.

Oh, Margot, uh, I guess after this,

I imagine we won't be
seeing you for a little while.

Why not?

Well, I mean, what's the next event?

Well, Nevey's gonna have the baby.

- I'll come out for that.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- Well, that's a surprise.

Why would that be a surprise?

Well, I can't remember
the last time you visited.

Well, that's 'cause you never invite me.

And I-I kind of argue
that you push me away.

I push you away?

When is the last time
you picked up a phone and just called me?

And you've never visited me
in Los Angeles, not once,

and I've lived there almost 25 years.

Well, you've never invited me.

Do you know why
I like this island?

Because Nana was sweet to me,
and we were always honest with each other,

and I felt like
she genuinely cared about me.

Which is something you have never done.

- Hey, is everything okay over here, Margot?
- No, nothing is okay.

Do you know, your precious amazing Colton
that's so successful,

he's actually going broke.

And Gwynny and her perfect life,
she wants to blow it all up

'cause she's bored out of her mind.

And-and... and, you know,
you have been treating Dixon like trash

because you think he is.

And all of us have wanted
to say something to you,

but nobody can do it
because they're all scared of you.

And the truth is, somebody has to be
honest with you about your behavior.

Might as well be me.

I am proud of your success,

but I can't pretend
to understand your life.

For years now, I feel like
that you have looked down on me.

And what you think of as honesty,

that just makes me nervous
to be around you.

Okay, Mom, well,
I'm sorry that I made you feel bad.

That was not my intention.

- Babe, babe.
- That is not what I meant.

Dixon, Dixon, Dixon, please.

- Margot, what the hell?
- What?

We told you all that stuff in confidence.

Margot, why the hell
would you announce at my wedding

that Mom thinks Dixon is trash, huh?

Why would you do that?

I was just being honest.
I was doing it out of caring.

- What? - You don't care
about us. - Of course I do.

- Oh, yeah? -
No... - Oh, my God.

- If you care, then what are my kids' names?
- Yeah.

That is offensive.
Of course I know their names.

Wyatt, Blake, Dawson

and... J...

J... Joey.

- It's Scotty Joe.
- Scotty Joe.

It's not Joey.

Not to mention the fact
you didn't even say their proper names.

You just said the first half
of each of their names.

Why do they all have three names?

I'm not Margot Millie Mae what-the-fuck.

I'm just Margot. Just one name.

Neve, can we just get out of here?
We can still salvage this weekend.

Margot, I don't want to leave.
This is my family.

You always want to go? You go.

Honestly, I never feel lonelier
than when I'm around all of you.

And it's a really horrible feeling
to feel lonely around your own family.

It really is.

- Wow.
- Yeah, the wife bet me you were gonna blow up.

Stop calling her "the wife. "

She's not an object. She's a human.

Well, then what am I supposed to call her?

I don't know.
Honey, sweetie, babe, sugar pie.

Maybe Rebecca. That's her name.

Well, look who all of a sudden
is a name expert.

What the fuck?!

Jenni's my only family,
and she's gone because of you.

So I caught this guy,

and I was gonna unleash him
and have him attack you.

That's how mad I was.

But then I wrestled him too hard,
and now I think he's dead.

I'm the producer of a show
called Is It Dead?

and I'm here to tell you...
that's not dead.

Well, you don't... Oh!

Oh, no!

- Get it out of here!
- So scared right now!

- Pull it by the tail.
- Just help me!

- Stop yelling instructions!
- Get it the fuck out of here!

Funny thing is,
I got it in here no problem.

- No shit!
- This thing sucks.

Get it to the window.
Get it to the window.

- Maybe I'll just leave it here.
- If you leave me here with that, I will kill you!

Pick it up!

It's an alligator.
You say it so casually, you pick it up.

So much torque.

Go, go, yes.

That's it. Come on. Get it to the window.

- Can you at least open the window?
- You open the fucking window.

You know what?
I'll just smash it through the window.

No, you're gonna hurt it.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

- Fine!
- Please.

Okay.

See you later, alligator!

Phew. Oh.

What a relief.

- That could've been bad. Yeah.
- Yeah.

Are you okay?

I don't know.

- I don't want to look at it.
- What... what do you mean you...

Oh, no. Oh, no, it bit you?

- Oh, God. I don't feel good.
- Oh, Jesus, okay, okay.

- I don't feel good.
- Okay, stay awake. Stay...

Okay, I'm gonna go get help.

Go get help.

# She's my cherry pie...

A- one, a-two, a-one, two...

Stop the music! Stop the show!

Stop the show, please!

- Yes!
- Oh, boo!

I need your help.
Your sister's badly hurt.

- What? - What? -
She was in her room,

and she was bit by an alligator.

She's losing a lot of blood.

- Oh, my God.
- How did an alligator get in her room?

What are you, the alligator police?!

Honestly! Show some respect!

- Me?
- The important thing is

we need to save a woman's life.

Whoa.

I'm a trained medic. I'll take a look.

All right, that's a bit much.

I'll grab the hotel's first aid kit.

Oh, my God.

- Okay, it's a clean bite.
- Oh, my God.

I can patch this up pretty quickly,
but she's lost a lot of blood.

Where's the closest hospital?

Oh, it's a boat ride
and at least 40 miles away.

You should at least have access
to the doctor in the local town!

Okay, everybody, calm down.
I can do a vein-to-vein transfer.

We just need somebody
with Margot's blood type.

Does anybody here have
the same blood type?

Okay, I do.

You saved my life.

Even after I was an asshole to you.

Of course I did.

Always in your corner forever.

So I think I overreacted.

Might not have even needed
that vein-to-vein transfusion.

Just got kind of
fired up on saving the day.

You know, it's pretty cool, though.

Bet you didn't even know
you could do that.

Do we still not know
how the alligator got into the room?

No, we don't. We don't know.

- Hi, Mama.
- Hey.

I'm...

I'm sorry about all that stuff I said.

I really didn't mean it.

No, you meant some of it.
You needed to say it.

I needed to hear it.

- Mom, I should've...
- Let me just finish.

And I am so happy
that you and Neve and my mother

had such a great relationship.

But I did not have
a good relationship with her.

I don't like this island...

...because for my entire childhood,

my mother made me feel inadequate.

She never listened to me.

And somehow I have repeated
that dynamic with you.

And it's heartbreaking,
because I love you.

And I just don't know
how to relate to you.

Thank you for saying that.

I love you, too.

Oh, honey.

I think talks like this
are a good way to start.

Oh, my goodness.

- Hi, Mama.
- Hey, y'all.

Come on in. Let's hug it out.

- Come on in here.
- Yes, Mama.

I love ya. Love ya, love ya, love ya.

I love you, Mama.

How about a bite? Haven't tried this yet.

That cake is dry.

That's too bad.

Do you want to trade bites?

- Sure.
- I mean, I-I kind of need to taste that.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Mmm.

It's really good.

- It's not too dry?
- No, it's perfect.

Hmm.

- Have you heard from your daughter?
- No.

No?

But according to TikTok,
she and Oliver annulled their marriage.

What?

# You promised the world
and I fell for it...

That's so fast.

They filled out an online form,
so it wasn't very dramatic.

# Set fires to my forest...

They're very aware of where the camera is.

# Sang off-key in my chorus #

# 'Cause it wasn't yours #

Boy, I really screwed the pooch
on this one.

Do you ever wonder what your wife
would think of the woman she's become?

She would've been really proud of her.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Proud of how kind she is.

- How funny.
- Hmm.

How tough.

Yeah.

Do you think she would want her
to marry Oliver?

I don't know. I-I think so.

I mean, the kid loves her.

Well, then you should just
try and save their marriage, right?

I think you should.

Who are you?

What? I'm the other bride.

That's my sister.

Yes. I-I didn't recognize you
without all the... the getup.

- Yeah.
- It's okay. I get it.

- But also...
- Yeah.

She took my car.

- We can drive you. We have a lot of cars. Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.

Uh, now, before you go, I do need y'all
to, uh, settle up your bill

and figure out how you're gonna
reimburse me for the dock damage.

Let's go get my daughter.

Uh, did you want to change first?

Why?

Okay, he's going. Let's go.

Yes!

You guys all drive
the same white Chevy Suburban?

- Yeah.
- So?

Yeah. Come on.

How do you tell them apart?

I don't know what to say to her.

Just be honest.

She can handle it. I promise.

- Just be honest. Yeah.
- Yeah.

- She can handle it. I promise.
- Okay, right.

- She doesn't want to see you, bitch.
- This doesn't concern you.

Uh, she's my best friend,
so, yeah, it does.

Don't touch me.

I'm not touching you.
I'm trying to get in the elevator.

Don't touch me! I'm just a child!

You're 23 years old.

- I'm a baby!
- Don't touch her! She's a goddamn baby!

Don't touch me!

Jesus, don't you guys have jobs?

No. The economy's terrible.

Oh, my God. What happened?

Jenni, I-I just want to apologize.

Don't listen to him.
He's trying to gaslight you.

I thought Oliver was
the one trying to gaslight her.

- They're both gaslighting.
- What does "gaslight" even mean?

Gaslighting is manipulating someone
so they start to doubt

their own thoughts, feelings
or experiences.

- Oh.
- Oh, I was not using that right.

Wait, where'd she go? How'd she do that?

Jenni?

Okay, so...

When you were six years old

and I had to sit you down to tell you
that your mom had died...

...I watched your heart break apart.

And I never ever wanted to see that again.

- Dad.
- So...

I think the reason
I'm not honest with you is because...

I want your world to be perfect.

At all times.

And, well, if I'm being honest...

about myself...

...I'm not fine.

At all.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

I think it's events like these
that trigger how much I miss your mom.

I miss her, too.

- What?
- No, never mind.

No, tell me.

Let's... let's be honest, you know?

Okay.

I miss having sex with her so much.

- I mean...
- What?

I'm sorry if that's too much information,
but it's true,

and-and I'm just trying to be honest.

I really don't want to know that,
but I also really appreciate your honesty.

I do because...

I'm not fine either.

I mean, I don't know
what I'm doing with my life.

You know, like,
I'm doing graphic design right now,

but honestly that's kind of random.

Like, I don't have my thing, you know?

Like, Oliver has his thing,
he has his music,

but I don't know what I care about,
and I just feel like I'm flailing and...

I'm, like, panicking
at every minute of every day.

- I had no idea.
- I know.

I'm too scared to tell you because
if I'm not happy, then you're not happy.

And so I just end up keeping
all these, like, secrets from you.

Okay, another thing. Why did we sing
"Islands in the Stream" together?

I mean, isn't that... isn't that weird?

Like, that's a romantic,
kind of sexual song.

Yeah, I see why
you would think that, but...

it's a song your mom and I
used to sing to you

to help you fall asleep
when you were a baby.

Oh.

Look, I-I keep secrets, too.

I know I've always said
that I never dated.

Well, right after your mom died,

I had a three-way with two widows.

Wow.

The saddest three-way of all time.

No one said a word.

We were just crying.

And banging and banging.

And banging and crying.

You know, I think we found
the line of the things

- we need to be honest about, you know?
- Yeah.

- I felt it, too.
- Yeah, yeah.

You know I have to move, right?

Yeah, yeah, I know.

But just know,
I'll always be in your corner, okay?

Forever.

I'll always be in your corner
forever, too, Dad.

Obviously.

Oh.

Come on, come on.

- I love you.
- I love you, too.

You don't smell good.

All right.

Hey. Listen up.

Let's find Oliver.
Let's get these guys remarried.

I'm here.

Wait, but I... I thought you moved out.
You know, the video and everything.

Oh, that was just for social, you know.
It was like two hours ago.

I couldn't really have
moved out in that time.

All right, well,
let's get you guys remarried.

That's what I'm here to do.

I think, to be honest,
which is so important...

I'm so sorry, but I think we're just
too young to do this right now.

Right?

I've been melting down
for, like, a year now.

- Really?
- Yeah.

So, you still want to move
to Memphis with me?

- Of course I do.
- Yeah?

- I love you.
- I love you, too.

Cheers!

# Islands in the stream #

# That is what we are #

# No one in between,
how can we be wrong? #

# Sail away with me to another world #

# And we rely on each other, ah ha #

# From one lover to another, ah ha #

Wait, I don't get it.
Are they getting married again or not?

They're not.

They're not getting married again.

It was so nice meeting y'all.

- You, too.
- Yeah.

I mean, despite everything.

Yeah.

- What?
- My dad likes you.

- Oh. Oh.
- Yeah.

Why would you say that?

Because he's been obsessing
over you all weekend.

Plus he's been smiling at you
in a way that makes me feel...

grossed out.

Hmm.

# Looking from a window above,
it's like a story of love #

# Can you hear me? #

# Came back only yesterday...

You're trying to destroy her wedding!

# Want you near me #

She's dead.

# All I needed was the love you gave #

# All I needed for another #

That's his "I like you" look?

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

All right, everybody,
it's time to head home.

How are y'all getting back into the city?

75 to I-85.

- Same.
- Ditto.

Does that make a lot of sense, though?

Maybe at this time of day,
we should take surface streets.

Why take surface streets
when the highway is always faster?

Jesus Christ, Flora!
Maybe she likes a more scenic way.

Or maybe she wants to run errands.

The point is, she's an adult
and it's none of your fucking business!

Really sorry. I'm very exhausted.

I like this one.

Wow.

- That was crazy.
- Yeah.

I mean, I tried to destroy
a young woman's wedding.

For literally no reason at all.

I mean, I...
I wrestled and caught an alligator.

And, wait, how did you memorize
all the names of my nieces and nephews?

Oh, it's called a memory palace.

You create a mental room
for each person you're trying to remember,

and then you think of a shocking image
that somehow relates to that person.

- So, for instance, your niece.
- Yeah.

- Eva.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought of Hitler's girlfriend,
Eva Braun,

and then I'd picture your niece Eva
in a Nazi uniform.

Jesus.

Well, I mean, what can I say? It works.

- You try it.
- Okay.

- My nephew Tucker Lee.
- Yeah, sure.

Um... f-fucker.

Fuck... fuck-a-bee?

- Tucker Lee fuck-a-bee.
- That, I mean...

Oh, wait, that works.

Fuck-a-Bea Arthur kind of works.

That kind of works.

What? What's wrong?

I don't know.

I feel like I'm...

I feel like I'm gonna cry.

No, I-I can't.
I mean, I think I'm having allergies.

That's probably it.

Well, I mean, maybe, you know,

because your younger sister's married
and she's having a baby,

and this is just how you're processing it.

No, that's not it. That's not it at all.

And maybe it's because it was good
to see your brother and their kids and...

And you say you don't miss seeing them,
but maybe you do miss seeing them.

Nah, it's probably
that alligator bite medication.

Or maybe it's because their kids
are growing up so quickly.

Your parents suddenly look old,
maybe, maybe older than you expected.

This is...

This is so embarrassing.

It's not embarrassing. It's natural.

I think I'm gonna miss you.

I think you're gorgeous when you cry.

Okay, um, I have to be honest
about something.

- What? Are you married?
- No.

Okay, just tell me.

I do dye my hair.

I know.

How?

'Cause your beard is a totally different
color than the hair on top of your head.

Yeah, it's really obvious.

- Does it look that obvious?
- Yeah, it's real...

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

Okay, I can see why that would be a tell.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

I'd like to see you again.

- Yeah, I think we should.
- Good.

Wait, do you have a job?

I'm the CEO of Delta Airlines.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Wow.

So, yeah.
You didn't think I had a job?

I thought maybe
you were a hairdresser.

That is the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me. Thank you.

Oh, my goodness!

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving to y'all as well.

So, how's L.A. treating you so far?

Well, the air is so dry,
and at all times

the sun's in my eyes.

It's terrible skin weather.

But we are so looking forward
to touring your workplace.

Well, I am so touched
that you're all here.

- Who wants to take a tour?
- We all do.

- All right, let's go.
- Let's go see her digs.

Do y'all know, uh,
do y'all know Jason Statham?

Would we get to meet someone like that?

- Oh, honey, just please...
- Yeah.

Everyone, let's line up
for the holiday card photo.

Okay, everybody, line up
behind Mama and Daddy.

Uh, Gwynny Mae, Al Monroe,
Scotty Joe, Shelby Lynn.

Eva Grace, get in there.

Wyatt Dean, Tucker Lee,
right next to each other.

And then, Dawson Scott,
get in by your daddy.

And, Colton Levi, Rebecca Esther,
right behind him.

And... Neve Rose and Dixon Ray.

And, of course, the newest addition to
the family, little baby Cunt- uh, Kent.

Uh, it's okay.
You're gonna make mistakes like that.

It's proper use of the technique.

I'm sorry.

And y'all three, you got to get in.
You're family now.

- Oh, no, I-I'm... Yeah.
- We're still figuring shit out.

- It's okay. We insist. Come on.
- Come on. Let's go.

All right, here we go.

Love spending Thanksgiving
with your family and not mine.

Say "cheese. "

Look, look, look, look.

- Cheese.
- All right, and we got it, we got it.

Okay, great. Wonderful.

I'm excited to be in the card this year.

# Baby, when I met you,
there was peace unknown #

# I set out to get you
with a fine-tooth comb #

# I was soft inside #

# There was something going on #

# You do something to me
that I can't explain #

# Hold me closer and I feel no pain #

# Every beat of my heart #

# We got something going on #

# Tender love is blind #

# It requires a dedication #

# All this love we feel
needs no conversation #

# We ride it together, ah ha #

# Making love with each other, ah ha #

# Islands in the stream,
that is what we are #

# No one in between #

# How can we be wrong? #

# Sail away with me #

# To another world #

# And we rely on each other, ah ha #

# From one lover to another #

So, how long do you two think
you're gonna date long distance?

Yeah, um, about that.

There's something I would like to propose.

Oh.

- Ooh, it's happening, it's happening.
- Here we go.

No, no, no. I love you,
but I... I don't want to get married.

- We talked about that.
- Told you you shouldn't ask her.

Congratulations, y'all.

- I hear somebody got engaged!
- No, no.

# Goin' to the chapel #

# And we're gonna get married #

- # Goin' to the
chapel # - Oh. - Whoa.

- # And we're gonna get married #
- Take it off!

- Oh.
- Whoa.

# Gee, I really love you #

# And we're goin' to the chapel of love...

Do you want to elope?

I thought you didn't want to get married.

Oh, I-I just don't like weddings.

Of course.

# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah #

# I can't live without you #

# If the love was gone #

# Everything means nothing
if you've got no one #

# And I did walk in the night #

# Slowly losing sight of the real thing #

# But that won't happen to us
and we got no doubt #

# Too deep in love and we got no way out #

# And the message is clear #

# This could be the year
for the real thing #

# No more will you cry #

# Baby, I will hurt you never #

# We start and end as one
in love forev er #

# We can ride it together, ah ha #

# Making love with each other, ah ha #

# Islands in the stream #

# That is what we are #

# No one in between #

# How can we be wrong? #

# Sail away with me #

# To another world #

# And we rely on each other, ah ha #

# From one lover to another, ah ha #

# Sail away #

# Oh #

# Come sail away with me #

# Islands in the stream #

# That is what we are #

# No one in between #

# How can we be wrong? #

# Sail away with me #

# To another world #

# And we rely on each other, ah ha #

# From one lover to another, ah ha #

# Islands in the stream #

# That is what we are #

# No one in between #

# How can we be wrong? #

# Sail away with me #

# To another world #

# And we rely on each other, ah ha #

# From one lover to another, ah ha #

# You need to, you need to,
you need to slow down #

# You need to, you need to #

# You need to slow down #

# You need to, you need to,
you need to slow down #

# You need to, you need to #

# You need to, you need to,
you need to slow down #

# You need to, you need to #

# You need to slow down #

# You need to, you need to,
you need to slow down #

# You need to, you need to #

# Used to make me weak to my knees, yeah #

# But now I roll my eyes
till you're leaving #

# Don't know what I gotta do
to make you know now #

# You need to slow down,
you need to slow down #