All language subtitles for My.Grandpa.Detective.2016.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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(clanking)

(upbeat tune)

- City Brambleburg of is
grateful to Lieutenant Whitmore

for the recovery
of their artifact

which commemorates
the most tragic event

in the history of our fair city.

But mindful of it's value,

Lieutenant Robert Whitmore

pursued relentlessly
the smallest clues

that others may have ignored.

It is because of
his vigorous valor

and his valiant vigor that the
Bronzed Basin of Bitterness

has been brought
back to Brambleburg

(applauding and cheering)

Lieutenant Robert
Steven Whitmore,

you are hereby promoted
from the rank of lieutenant

to that of inspector
detective division

effective immediately.

(cheering)

Congratulations!

(celebratory music)

- I'm so proud of you.

- Thanks.

- Robbie?

- Here, let me see it.

Just a little tug on the string.

Okay.

Pretty soon, you can
do stuff like this.

Right?

Or like this.

Look.

It's a pretty good
weapon for a cop, too.

You can whop a guy's head
pretty good with this thing.

But...

want to be careful with it.

You wouldn't want to
hurt anyone, yeah.

- Where is Grandpa, daddy?

- Oh, Grandpa.

He's a very important
man, Robbie.

He's got important things to do.

- Is that why I never see him?

- That's right, Robbie.

You see this yo-yo?

See how that yo-yo
always comes back?

- Yeah.

- Well, that's how
it is with my dad.

He gave us this
yo-yo to show us,

he's coming back.

- I hope you don't have
important things to do, daddy?

- [Grandpa] Too late, Robbie.

- Great-grandpa!

- Congratulations.

Proud of you, Bobby.

- Robert.

They call me Robert
now, Grandpa.

- Of course.

- Hey, little man, it's time
to get you home, come on.

(Silently) Sorry!

(cars honking)

- Oh, its beauty is in
the economy of its design

and its power is in the
genius of its construction.

Do you not agree?

- Oh.

Yes, it's quite remarkable.

- Oh-ho-ho, you have
the rare ability

to appreciate true
art my friend.

Please allow me to point out
the complex aesthetic dialect

between these two components.

(telephone rings)

- Brambleburg Police

I'll catch you later.

Yes, we have a delivery for you.

Again, I know,
but he's harmless.

Well, we'll have him
ready for you, got to go.

(cheering)

- Whoa!

- Bloccato, clumsy me.

- That is the third time this
week, Inspector Whitmore.

In order, in order.

It's imperative that they
be in the proper order.

- You're still stuck
in the 70s, Bloccato.

- There are numerous advantages

in using proven technology, sir.

Obviously--

- I can take care of this,
Robert, you go ahead.

Do you want them like this?

- Yes, yes, you straighten them

and I will arrange them
in sequential order.

- Inspector Whitmore,
oh, you like?

- You have something there.

- Oh, do you see
the aesthetic power?

Oh, it's not a limited
by its savage energy,

its brilliant simplicity,
but it's power is in the way

in which it constructs
a luminous tapestry.

- I think I see it, Kitsch.

- Oh-ho-ho, magnifico.

(Kitsch mumbling)

(chair squeaking)

(slow sad melody)

- [Voiceover, Young Bobby]
Was I a good baby, Mom?

- [Mom] You were a special
blessing from God, Bobby.

- [Bobby] I was cute.

- [Bobby, Mom, Dad] Cheese!

[Bobby] Cheesebrugas.

(Mom and Dad - laughter)

(Bobby) Dad, I miss Mom.

- [Dad] Oh, me too, Bobby.

Hey, give this a try.

- [Bobby] That one's easy,
Dad. Show me a hard one.

(laughter)

- [Grandpa] Where
you going, Bob?

- [Dad] Anywhere, but
here, you just watch,

I'm going to be somebody,
I'm going to do things

you never thought I could do.

- [Bobby] Dad,
where are you going?

- [Dad] Look, Bobby,
here's my yo-yo.

When you use it, remember that

I'm coming back for you, okay?

- [Bobby] Grandpa, why
did you make Daddy go?

- [Grandpa] Bobby, I...

- [Bobby] Daddy.

- [Dad] Here's my yo-yo.

- [Bobby] Where are you going?

- [Dad] I'm coming
back for you, okay?

- [Bobby] Don't go, Daddy.

- [Dad] I'll be back.

- [Bobby] Don't go, Daddy.

- Why did you make
Daddy go, randpa?

- [Dad] Coming back for you.

- [Bobby] Don't go.

- Robert, I just
finished helping...

Are you all right?

- Yeah, fine.

Just looking at a
couple of old pictures.

- If you want to talk, I...

- Thanks, Sassy.

I'm fine, thanks.

- I just wanted to
say congratulations

on your promotion,
Inspector Whitmore.

- Yeah, well...

You know as well as anybody that

the Bronzed Basin of Bitterness
just fell into my lap.

- You still had to
follow up on those leads.

- I think the thief
wanted us to find it.

I just had to finish
his treasure hunt.

But I never found him.

- No matter, you're the
one that got it back

and apart from that,

if anyone deserves that
promotion, it's you.

- [Grandma] Slow
down, I can't keep up.

- [Grandpa] I'll fix it for you.

(doorbell)

- I really don't mind
waiting on your porch, Hilda,

but we do have important
things on the agenda.

- I see you have
nothing better to do

than waste your
time on meaningless
crafts for old folks.

- Now, see here, Mrs. Lint

- Oh, never mind, no
time to dillydally.

Have you decided
which hat to wear

to the annual charity auction?

(mailbox delivery)

My goodness, why would
you be getting a letter

from your pension board?

It's never good news to
get a personal letter

from a pension board.

- Well, well.

- They probably made
a bad investment

and now they have
to cut you back.

- It seems that there's
been a clerical error

and I'm six days short of
qualifying for my pension.

- I knew nothing good
would come of this.

- It was 20 years ago.

- I know, but
that's what it says.

- They want your
pension back? All of it?

- [Mildred] My, my!

- Unless I go back to
work for six more days.

(jaunty tune)

- You've still got it, honey.

- You think he
still got it, Hilda?

- No, of course not.

He's 85 years old, Mildred.

- Do you see how its
dazzling, unpretentiousness

betrays an effervescent entity?

- Robert, come with me.

- I'd love to, Kitsch,
but I gotta go.

- I have a partner for you.

- A partner, come on,
don't you trust me?

You just gave me a promotion.

- You two are the perfect match.

Step inside.

- Grandpa?

- There was a clerical
error 20 years ago,

he owes us six days.

- I can't work with him.

We never really got along.

- He raised you.

- Yeah, my father would
have if it wasn't for him.

- Forgiveness is good
for the soul, Robert.

He needs someone
who understands him.

You're the best fit.

- Put him with Fitzpatrick.

- He's on vacation.

- What about Simmons?

- He's on the Reynolds case.

- Whitehead.

- He's in the hospital.

Robert, remember that little
incident with the yo-yo?

- Crosby.

- He transferred two months ago,

like I said, you're
the best fit.

(telephone ringing)

- Can't you just
put him on a desk?

- Robert.

- No one has put me on
a desk ever in my life

and they're not
going to start now.

I'm going out with my boots on.

- Chief.

- Someone has been breaking
into fast food restaurants

and stealing hamburgers.

Only hamburgers.

- No cash?

No equipment?

- Just hamburgers.

- How about the curly fries?

Come on, Chief, the
Hamburger Burglar?

- There may be more to this
than you think, Robert.

Your grandpa had a nose for
getting to the bottom of things,

back in his day. You'd be wise
listening to his instincts.

- Be right back.

- The chief was right, Robert.

- What?

- You need to forgive him.

- You weren't there.

- No matter.

I can see you're
carrying a heavy load

and you need to put it down.

He's not the only one who
needs forgiveness, you know?

Everyone needs forgiveness,
Robert, even you.

- What are you talking about?

- Your sin.

- My sin, no, Grandpa's
the offender here.

- Oh, so you don't
need any forgiveness?

- I'm doing all right.

- So, you're calling God a liar.

- I...

What?

- 1 John says, "If we
claim we have no sin,

"we make God out to be a liar."

- You're going to
quote the Bible to me?

- The Ten Commandments
is a good place to start.

What about number five?

Honor your father and mother.

- I honor my father,
he's an important man.

- [Sassy] What
about your mother?

- My mother died
when I was little.

I don't even remember her.

- I'm sorry, I didn't know.

- No big deal.

I didn't even remember.

- What about
commandment number nine?

Have you ever lied?

- Have I what?

- Commandment number
nine, have you ever lied?

- No.

- What about now?

Are you lying right now?

- Sassy, everyone
lies sometimes.

- So you have.

- I'm not playing
this game, Sassy.

- Okay, I'll just
email them to you.

[Scoffing Laugh]

- You knitting yourself
a pair of handcuffs?

Or maybe...

a set of bullets for your
little crocheted handgun.

Or maybe a pair of booties,

to keep your feet warm at night.

(laughter)

- You think...

You think this is a...

a retirement hobby, I suppose.

- Yeah.

- Actually,

it was in Korea,

the foxholes,

bombs, mortars,
exploding all around.

(imitates explosions)

Day and night, 'round the clock,

something going on like
that 'round the clock

does something to a man,

does something to him here.

Now, some sweet lady back home

sent us a whole crate
of yarn and needles,

captain passed them out, real
men picked up those needles,

and began to knit, and with the
knitting we kept our sanity.

Now, not everyone did,
new guys, like you,

didn't pick up the
needles, they didn't last.

They're the ones who lost it,

they're the ones who jumped
out of their foxhole,

and you know what
happened to them?

(imitates explosion)

- Now...

The survivors are the ones
who picked up the needles

and we kept our sanity.

Knitting,

it's a good practice.

You should try it.

Be good for you,
have a nice day.

- Hi, Joe. Let's go, Grandpa.

- Coming, Bobby.

- [Bobby] Grandpa would
you put those things away.

- Ashamed of your old
grandpa, are you, Bobby?

- Robert, my name is Robert.

- Robert?

You've always been Bobby.

- Yeah, not since junior high.

Hey, where you going?

- We're taking my car.

- Your car, no,
I don't think so.

- We're partners, I'm
taking the first turn.

- You were assigned to me.

This is my case, you're
just along for the ride.

Oh!

Get in!

- I've got more
years on the force,

I've got seniority,
we're going in my car.

(beep, beep)

(keys jingling)

(engine starts up)

- Grandpa!

We going soon?

- We have to let the
engine warm up, Bobby.

No, no, no, we've got to let
the engine warm up, you see,

you let the oil begin
to circulate through
all of the parts,

so that there's no damage.

- Yeah, but I don't think--

- Friction, the
problem is friction.

Metal rubbing against
metal creates friction

and that creates a lot
of, here, let me show you.

Rub your hand together,
rub your hands together.

Yeah, feel that, feel that heat?

Feel that heat, that
heat, that's friction.

Friction.

See that and that happens all
day long inside that baby.

Parts rubbing against
parts, metal against metal,

and what you need is you need,

you got to give it a chance

for the oil to circulate
up through there

and lubricate everything,
what the oil does is,

here, let me show you.

Hold your hands out.

- Grandpa.

- Put your hands out.

Now rub 'em together.

Go on, rub 'em together.

Feel that, feel the difference.

Feel how smooth, how slick,
how slippery that is,

that's what the oil does, it
makes the part move together.

I can drive this thing a
dozen times around the world

because I take good care of
it, I let the engine warm up.

See, and now, it's
warmed up, and we can go.

Don't touch anything
with those hands, okay?

(car alarm)

- [Chief] He has a website?

- Yeah, with his resume,

seems he's been at
this for a while.

His work goes back
like 25 years.

- What's he got?

- He started small
with break and enters

and he was selective, he
only ever took one thing.

- [Chief] Such as?

- Donut holes, yo-yos, those
little coffee creamers,

garden gnomes, the list goes on

and then it seems he went
quiet for about 20 years

and now he's back.

Look at this.

He's bragging about recent
theft of some unnamed artifact.

- [Chief] We must've
had somebody on this

before his sabbatical.

Find out who that was.

- All right, will do,
Chief, let's go, Grandpa.

Grandpa, let's go.

- The data is right here.

- How long?

- In no time, I will locate it.

- No time?

Grandpa, bring me what he
finds when no-time is up.

(indistinct radio
chatter in background)

- What's wrong, Anthony?

- Do you realize the
security advantage

of using old technology?

Our system is
completely impervious

to intruders and hackers.

No other system in the world

can interface with
our equipment.

- Don't bear false testimony.

You mean, like in a trial?

- Oh, checking yourself out.

- What's this one mean?

- Oh, you've already told
me that you're a liar,

so you've got that one covered.

- I'm not a liar.

- Well, you told
me that you lie.

- Yeah, just on small things.

I mean, come on, they're
not even really lies.

Sassy, don't go
tainting my character

just because I do things
that everyone else does.

- All right.

What about this one?

- I told you, I honor my father.

- And your grandpa?

Grandparents, how are you at
honoring your grandparents?

Robert?

- Look, if he deserved
respect, I'd give it to him.

- That's not what it says,
it says, "Honor your"--

- Yeah, I know what it says.

- Okay.

How about number seven?

- I've been faithful,
what are you saying?

- It's not what I'm saying,
it's what Jesus is saying.

- What?

What did he say?

- He says if you've done it
in your heart, you've done it.

- Okay, that's not fair,
everyone does that.

It's called being normal.

(telephone rings)

- Whitmore.

The pharmacy?

Oh, you'll have it
in no time, will you?

Grandpa, it appears
our big cheese

has turned his attention
to drug stores.

- Drugs?

- Whitmore.

(security alarm blaring)

Yeah, there's been a jailbreak.

Oh, no, you don't.
Not this time.

My turn to drive.

- I have seniority.

- Exactly, seniority, besides,

you said we'd take
turns. My turn.

(lively music)

(tires screeching)

- [Grandpa] You didn't let
the engine warm up, Bobby.

- [Bobby] It's Robert!

(security alarm blaring)

- I think the black
and white stripes

are more stylish than
orange, don't you, Bobby?

(detective music)

Sleeping powder from
those capsule he stole.

Big Cheese throws a party.

Cheeseburgers for
everybody, then lights out.

- Hey.

What happened here?

Snap out of it.

- We found this on one
of the party trays.

- Wait a minute.

Just as I suspected.

- Yeah, they're the same.

Anyone can see that.

- No, no.

Ever so subtle
differences in the cut.

- He's already added
this to his resume.

(whirring)

- Caught you, Bieber, you're
going to the hoosegow.

(telephone ringing)

Mayor Lindt.

Please hold.

(ding)

Hello.

Yes.

I'd be delighted and for
such an important cause, too.

All right.

Goodbye.

Put me down to speak at the
Opossum Preservation Society

Celebrity Ball and
Charity Auction

- Yes, sir.

- And write a speech
I would be proud of.

- Yes, Mr. Mayor.

Oh, and your wife called today,
sir, she left you a message.

- She did?

What did he say?

Out with it, man.

- She would like you
to ask the council,

if you could donate the
Bronzed Basin of Bitterness

to the charity auction.

- What?

Donate our city's most precious

and dearest icon.

How could I in good conscious?

- She was very insistent, sir.

- How insistent?

- Extremely, sir.

- Extremely?

Oh, well...

(mayor chuckles)

It is for a good
cause, isn't it, man?

- Grandpa.

We're just wasting time.

I mean, how are we going to
find who printed those cards

just walking around out here?

- You gotta look,
you gotta listen,

you gotta use all your
senses, you gotta focus.

- Spidey-senses, eh?

- Listen.

- Yeah, I don't--

- Shh!

(sneaky music)

(hearing aid squeal)

- Oh, no, turn it
down, turn it down.

Oh

- There, you hear that?

- What?

- Listen.

(indistinct chatter)

- Look at these business
cards, I got printed last week.

- Can you believe this
sloppy work they did?

- Look at the sloppy workmanship
on this one, look at this.

- Yeah.

- Look at the text.

- I know.

- BPD.

A few questions
I need to ask ya.

Let's start by, where you
got those cards printed?

- Just Star Printing,
down the street.

- That's not how it's done.

- It worked.

- It's not how it's done

- Is this your work?

- I believe so.

- Can you tell me
who had that printed?

- He didn't give his name.

- Any credit card or
debit card transaction?

- He paid cash.

- Okay, can you give
me a description?

- It was green.

- No, the guy who
gave you the cash.

- Oh, sure.

He was about your height
or maybe closer to yours.

Somewhere in between the two.

And he had dark hair like yours

and a little gray like yours.

- Brilliant, okay, his age?

- Older than you,

but not as old as you.

- Was there anything
peculiar about him?

- Not that I can think of.

- Okay, well, thanks
for your cooperation.

- Yeah, if you think of
anything, give us a call.

- Oh, there was one thing.

The mask.

- [Grandpa and Bobby] The mask?

- Yeah, the mask, the
one he was wearing.

- Mrs. Lint. Ladies.

- What a surprise, Robert.

I wonder what those
two are up to.

We need the program
printed for the

Opossum Preservation Society

Celebrity Ball and
Charity Auction,

and don't cut it so
close to the print

like you did last year
and we need it on time.

- I'll deliver it myself
if necessary, Mrs. Lindt.

- Heaven help us.

- Inconceivable!

What's it take these days?

- What's wrong, Boss?

- Well, the media! How
can we have a society

of freedom and liberty,
if we don't have a media

that reports the facts?

A free, impartial, and
accurate press is a pillar

of a free society.

Remember the last time?

I do all the work and some
cop gets all the credit.

What about me?

The thief should've
got some press, too.

And now, there's this.

Not one mention of
me in the jailbreak.

What's a guy got to do to get
a little credit around here?

What?

What?

- Look, over there.

- He matches the description.

- Yeah.

Okay.

We need to get close enough,
so they don't suspect us

before we can bring 'em in.

- We should circle around.

- All right..

- [Grandpa and Bobby] I'll
go this way, you go that way.

- I've got a delivery
for Robert Whitmore.

- [Grandpa and Bobby]
Not now, I'm busy.

I'll go this way.

- Is one of you Robert Whitmore?

- [Grandpa and Bobby] Not now.

- Brambleburg Police!

(spy music)

- Really?

(man screams)

Looks like you finally
caught me, Pops.

- That cheeseburger shtick
was pretty impressive.

- Thanks.

Well, I hoped you liked it.

- I didn't say I liked it,
I said I was impressed.

- Robert, what exactly
is going on here?

(gunshot)

- Stop or I'll shoot!

(gunshots)

- Wait for me, Boss.

- I said stop!

(man yelps)

- You let him get away.

- Well, you distracted me
with that gun of yours.

- How could you
let him get away?

Well, no!

How could you let him get away?

We could've had this whole thing

wrapped up in a tiny little box.

And you let him get away.

What?

What?

- Mister, you have
a temper problem.

- I don't have a temper problem.

I don't have a temper problem.

(man yelps)

- [Grandpa] You have a
temper problem, Bobby.

(tires screeching)

- I do not have
a temper problem.

All right, I'll be the bad
cop, you be the good cop.

- I've always been the bad cop.

- You want to be the bad cop,
fine, you be the bad cop,

I'll be the good cop.

- Are you sure?

It might be a good idea to
try something different.

- Okay, let's just
stick with it.

- Whatever you say, Bobby.

Robert.

- Yeah. Thanks.

- Can I get you
something to drink?

- Maybe a glass of milk
or some orange juice,

Would you like a cookie?

We have peanut butter,
chocolate chip.

Are you allergic to peanuts?

- Grandpa!

What are you doing?

- I'm being the good cop.

We said I would be the good cop,

you wanted to be the bad cop.

- No, you wanted me
to be the good cop.

- I'm the good cop, Grandpa.

- You said you wanted me
to try something different.

- No, you said that.

We can't have two good cops.

- [Grandpa and Bobby] Excuse us!

(buzzer)

- I really thought that you
wanted me to be the good cop.

- We can't both be
the good cop, Grandpa.

We looked like fools in there.

- All right, all
right, all right.

Listen, you take care
of that temper of yours

and I'll go be the bad cop.

- Can I have a
peanut butter cookie?

I'm not allergic.

No more good cop?

(ominous suspenseful music)

All right, all right,
I'll talk, I'll talk.

- You just saved yourself
a world of hurt, my friend.

(buzzer)

Sometimes you got to do
it the old fashioned way.

(car honking)

- Hey, that looks
like his truck.

- I don't think he had a
scratch on his right fender.

- Look how fast
these guys are going.

- I don't think
that's him, Bobby.

- Of course it is, look,

they're going like
15 over the limit.

(sirens blaring)

It's not him.

- That's what I told you, Bobby.

- I'm going to give
him a ticket anyway.

Robert.

You were going 17
over the posted limit.

- What about those other guys?

They were breaking the law, too.

Everyone speeds in this
section of the road

and they were all passing me.

- And yet that doesn't
make you any less guilty.

- Why me, why do you pick on me?

- You ever go fishing?

- Yeah.

- You ever catch 'em all?

- It's not fair,
everyone does it.

- Yeah, tell it to the judge.

Have a nice day.

- It's not fair.

It's called being normal.

(drilling noises)

- Gone.

- Yeah, when we
caught his friend,

I'm sure he just moved on.

- Whatcha got there?

- Has words on it.

Kapnid yroma dan hifec.

Is it some kind of code?

- Could be.

Yroma.

Word scramble, mayor.

- Kapnid, kidnap.

They're going to
kidnap the mayor.

- But which mayor?

Who's Dan Hifec?

Who you calling?

- I'm searching.

Mayor Dan Hifec.

Maybe he's with one of
the surrounding towns.

- And, not Dan, and.

- [Voiceover] Mayor's office.

- Yeah, let me
speak to the mayor.

- [Voiceover] May I
ask who's calling?

- It's Inspector
Robert Whitmore.

- [Voiceover] Oh, yeah,
the mayor went fishing

with a man in a mask.

- They've already got him.

The mayor's been kidnapped.

- Our strategy will
be to keep this quiet.

City Hall intends on playing
it as if nothing's happened.

The press will not be notified.

Nothing, until we get him back.

- Meanwhile, what
about our poster here?

- Kidnap mayor.

And Hifec.

Kidnap mayor.

There must be a second
target, but who's Hifec?

Hifec.

Fitch...

(murmurs)

(knocking)

- Oh, sorry, I can
come back later.

- That be good, thanks, Sassy.

- Kidnap mayor

and...

Chief!

Is that a game for the
party or something?

- Yeah, something like that.

Thanks, Sassy.

(ominous music)

- Stop moving!

That's better.

This should get
someone's attention.

- Nothing on here, boss.

- Still nothing.

Well, there should be a major
breaking news alert by now.

(man groans)

- What's it take to get
noticed by someone around here?

They won't be able to
ignore me much longer.

Psst!

- What are you doing?

- Shh, look what your
lack of spine did,

the mayor's been kidnapped.

- Kidnapped, they told me he
was on a long coffee break.

- For two hours?

Look, we gotta do something.

Everybody's acting like
nothing's happened.

You don't want worse
to happen, do you?

- Let's go to the police.

- You can't trust the police.

They didn't stop the kidnapping
from happening, did they?

- We start with the
police or nothing doing.

- You will have your men staked
out around the perimeter.

Use plain clothes.

You take the west
side, you the east.

We know he's coming after me,

we can use this to reel him in.

- I don't like it.

- I don't like it either.

- You don't have to like it,

but it is what we're doing.

Go, prepare your men.

- Yes, sir.

- Yes, sir.

- Let me see him.

- [Woman] Sorry, chief.

- That's all right.

Well, gentleman, what
can I do for you?

- It's about the mayor, sir.

- Yes?

- Well, he's been missing
for several hours now.

- And you're concerned?

- Well, Ernie here, it
might seem silly, but

Ernie here thinks that the
may have been kidnapped.

- Yes, we believe he has been,

but nobody's doing
anything about it.

- Well I wouldn't
worry about Mayor Lint.

He's probably gone fishing.

I remember once he
disappeared for three days.

- I didn't know
the mayor fished.

- Oh, yes, he and I
used to love fishing

'til we had all these
responsibilities overtake us.

I wouldn't worry about it.

- Thanks, Chief.

- I told you this would
be a waste of time.

Incompetent, the
whole bunch of 'em.

- So, what do we do now?

- We think, we
think like a crook.

Who will they kidnap next?

- How should I know?

- The Chief of
Police, that's who.

- And what makes you think that?

- Because that's
how a crook thinks

and because that's what
it says on this poster.

- Does not, it says,

"Kapnid yroma dan hifec."

- You got to use your
brain, it's scrambled, see,

kidnap mayor and chief,

and those guys
don't have a clue.

And here, look at this,

they're blabbing the chief's
location all over town.

It's like they're advertising
for him to be kidnapped.

They obviously weren't smart
enough to figure this out.

So, it's up to us
to save the chief

and rescue the mayor.

- So.

You're a what?

Say it.

- I'm a liar.

- What else?

- An adulterer, but
just in my mind.

- [Sassy] And?

- I'm a thief.

- [Sassy] And?

- I have a...

temper problem.

- And we haven't even
covered one through four.

- There's more?

- They are called
the Ten Commandments.

We've only covered
five through nine.

A holy, just, and
righteous God created you

and gave you life.

He's the one that sustains you

with air to breathe
and food to eat

and gives you the love of
family and friends like me.

When's the last time
you thanked him?

When's the last time you
took a day to worship him?

Or are there other things
more important to you

than the creator
of the universe?

- You win.

- And someday when
you stand before him

and he gets ready to say
"Innocent or guilty?"

What are you going to say?

Everybody else was doing it?

- You paint a pretty
bleak picture, Sassy.

- It is bleak, Robert.

None of us have a
leg to stand on.

We have only one hope.

If we confess our sins,
he is faithful and just

and will forgive us our sins

and purify us from
all unrighteousness.

That's our only hope, Robert.

John also says that
we have an advocate

with God, the father, Jesus
Christ, the righteous one.

He is the atoning
sacrifice for our sins

and not only for ours,

but for the sins
of the whole world.

(phone rings)

- Whitmore.

Yeah, I'm on my way.

Sorry, Sassy. Gotta go.

- As the chief of police,

it is my honor to be asked to
officiate at this dedication.

- And where's the mayor?

- The mayor had another
commitment today,

but it is fitting that
the chief of police

be invited to take his
place as we celebrate

the rejuvenation of one
of our older communities.

I heard he's gone fishing.

- Well!

A man can't even
think to tell his wife

that he's leaving town?

- It is with positive
activities in our community

such as the arts that will take
place in this fine facility

that we lift ourselves
above pettiness.

These pursuits enables
to shake off the shackles

of selfishness, idleness

and lack of purpose and
our community becomes

a safer place for all.

I hereby declare the Brambleburg
Opera House to be open.

(comedic action music)

- We have civilians.

- You stay with the civvies,
we'll stay with the chief.

- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

- Do as he says,
everyone stand back.

- You're going to
have to drop that.

- Your chief is my
ticket out of here, see?

- Ow, ow, ow, ow.

- Enough already.

- Sorry.

- [Voiceover] Freeze.

- [Voiceover] Freeze,
hands in the air.

- I have a delivery
for Robert Whitmore.

- [All except Chief]
Not now, I'm busy.

- Robert Whitmore?

- Robert Whitmore?

- Robert Whitmore?

- Robert Whitmore.

You're Robert Whitmore?

- The third.

- Bobby.

I, I am your father.

- No, that's not true.

That's impossible.

Search your feelings, Bobby,

you know it to be true.

(dramatic music)

- No!

- Bobby,

it is your destiny.

- Oh, cut the dramatics, Bob,
I always told your mother

you watch too many movies.

- You knew?

Why didn't you tell me?

- Sign here.

- Bobby.

- Robert Whitmore?

- Bobby, wait!

- Robert Whit...

- Bobby!

(tires screeching)

(birds chirping)

- Why didn't you tell me?

Mom.

What happened to us?

(Bobby screams)

Why, God?

Why?

- Why didn't he tell me?

- Who, Boss?

- Now my son just thinks
I'm some common criminal.

- What's wrong with being
a common criminal, Boss?

- I am not a common criminal.

(dog snarls)

I have never done anything
that would hurt anybody.

Why would he set
me up like that?

In front of my own son?

- You got a son, Boss?

You want to play hardball?

Do ya, all right, we're
going to play hardball.

- Who ya talking to, Boss?

- You, lamebrain.

You are going to send a message
to the other bosses in town,

See? Yeah,

and we're going to invite
them to a big party, see?

A really big party, yeah, see.

You guys are invited, too.

That is

if you're not too busy.

- They don't look
too busy to me, Boss.

- Go feed your dog.

- Are you donating
it to the auction?

- Si, it will be the
star of the show.

- It is...

interesting.

- Oh si, magnifico,

not only because of it's
various manifestations,

of course, of course, but also

a very, permeating presence

of what it is not.

- Oh, Kitsch, it's a...

It's a...

Oh, well, it's a--

- Si, sometimes we think
art can only be perceived

by the physicality

of its contemporary situation.

- Well, if you say so, Kitsch.

- Ah, and this causes
us to be ignorant

of the ferment that is
already taking place...

- Um, Bloccato?

Did you ever find out who
was on that Big Cheese case

back in the 80s?

- I will very soon.

(telephone ringing)

- Just try the Ws.

- There are numerous advantages

of following sequential order.

- Please.

Just this once.

- Why, Inspector?

- I got a hunch.

(analog whirring)

And?

It's Grandpa, isn't it?

Thanks, Bloccato, that's
all I need to know.

(keys clicking)

- Sassy?

I think it's time for
some of that forgiveness

you've been talking about.

- Come in, Robert, sit down.

- Can't say I like
your methods, but...

I think you were right,
I do need some forgiving.

I've been blaming everyone else

for the bitterness
I've been feeling,

but not taking care
of my own guilt.

- Don't tell me, Robert.

Tell God.

- How do I do that?

- Well, you're talking
to me just fine.

Talk to him the same way.

- You sure?

- Start with this.

God have mercy on me, a sinner.

- Really?

- Only if you mean it.

- Okay.

God... Um

Have mercy on me, a sinner.

God have mercy on me, a sinner,

Sassy here tells me

that I've been
breaking your laws

pretty much everyday.

What I really feel worst about

is how I've been
treating my grandpa.

My dad left when I was little

and my mom died.

And you gave me an awesome
grandma and grandpa

to take care of me and raise me

and all I've done
is disrespect them.

Especially Grandpa.

Sassy says if we
confess our sins,

you'll forgive us.

So that's what I
want to do now, God.

God.

Have mercy on me,

A sinner.

Is that it?

- That's a good start, Robert.

Now I think there's someone
else you need to talk to.

- Yeah.

I'd like to speak to
Inspector Whitmore.

Alone.

- Bobby, I, I, I'm sorry.

- No, Grandpa.

I've been walking around with
a really heavy load, Grandpa.

And I've been blaming you.

I thought you were
the reason why

I never had a dad.

But actually...

you are my dad.

At least more than he is.

- Don't give up on him, Robert.

- No, just let me finish.

I'm not saying this right.

Grandpa, I want to thank you

for being the dad I never had.

Thank you

for being a man I can respect.

- Listen

- Thank you for showing me

what it's like to be a man.

- Listen, you don't have to--

- No, I need to say this.

I've grown up carrying a burden
full of bitterness, Grandpa.

It has just gotten to
heavy to carry any longer.

I thought it was full of
resentment toward you.

But over the last
couple of days,

I've realized that it's really

actually just full
of pride in myself.

Like I was the only
one doing it right.

I had to put the
burden down, Grandpa.

I had to ask God to forgive me

for all of my self-righteousness
and self-centeredness

like I had the right to
judge God or something.

Now, I'm asking you.

Will you please forgive me for
being such a self-righteous,

ungrateful grandson?

(sad melody)

- Anthony, Anthony!

Look at this.

(kitsch neighs)

Finally, someone has
recognized my artistic talent.

- Oh, everyone loves your
artistic talent, Kitsch.

- Then, why a nobody buy it, eh?

Look at this, someone
is a paying for my art.

- Really, what did
you make for them?

- Not what I did make,

what I will make.

- Will you come with me
to this job, my friend?

- I need to finish this first.

- My friend, you
are the one person

who fully appreciates
and comprehends my work,

come and witness my success.

- Well, I suppose I could,
I, maybe a little later.

- After work, we'll go now.

- The two of us will find
the mayor and the chief.

You two take this to
the charity auction.

We got to keep these kidnappings
as low key as possible,

so for now, the mayor is fishing

and the chief is sick in bed.

- The mayor is scheduled
to make a speech

at the auction tonight.

- Inspector Whitmore,
here, and I will make sure

that he gets to
the podium on time.

- His own staff won't
even know he's missing.

- Hey Chrissy, have you
heard where the mayor is?

- [Voiceover] I've been
told he's gone fishing.

- He's gone fishing?

- [Voiceover] Yes.

- Thanks, Chrissy.

See?

- He's not fishing.

Have you heard anything in
the news about the chief?

Something's fishy,
Fred, and it's not fish.

It's a cover-up, I tell ya,

and we're the only ones
that know about it.

- Well, what are we
supposed to do about it?

- Find them, that's what.

- What's next on
the mayor's agenda?

- He is speaking at the
Oppossum Preservation Society's

Celebrity Ball and
Charity Auction.

- How's he going to
speak if he's kidnapped?

- The kidnappers know
he's going to be there.

The Bronzed Basin of Bitterness.

They're after the Bronzed
Basin of Bitterness.

- We're on our way
to some new digs.

Hurry up!

And no funny business.

I don't want to have
to use this th...

I don't want to have
to use this thing.

Our new place is being
decorated as we speak.

And we have company coming.

Let's go.

- [Man] This way.

- Are you certain this
is the right place?

- This is the
address in the email.

- Are you positive this
is the correct location

and not upstairs where
the festivities are?

Who will see your
work down here?

- This is a what it said,

and so this is a where I work.

- [Grandpa] Here.

- What'd you find?

- Looks like an invitation

to the Big Cheese Society
Celebrity Kidnapping

and Crime Boss Auction.

(electronic camera shutter)

(beeping)

He's got the address
on his website.

- Hey, thanks for coming all
the way out from Perlington.

Our communications officer is...

Okay, so I had my yo-yo,
right, and he was like...

(Grandpa clears throat)

Yeah, so, he's in the hospital.

- I want to help,

I just never worked
with the police before.

- Oh, hey, no worries, you'll
be far away from the action.

Now, we'll radio when
we've found them.

I expect them to be armed,

so you get the call out
for backup immediately.

- Sounds easy enough, I've
got everything set up in here.

- I think you should wait
out here until we call.

If you see anything,
let us know.

- Sure, I can do
that and don't worry,

I'll have that call
out in seconds.

Testing one, two, three,
come in, you guys.

Testing, testing, one,
two, three, come in.

Testing one, two, three.

(suspenseful music)

- Coffee?

- Yeah.

- Mildred, did you get
the programs printed?

- Hilda, that boy
is always late.

He said he'd deliver
them himself.

I suspect he'll get
here just in time

for the auction to be finished.

- Now, don't you worry yourself.

You've got to have faith
in people, Mildred.

- See that guy over there?

- Yeah.

- Notice anything suspicious?

- No, not really.

- Look where he's standing.

- By the storage room?

- The Bronzed Basin
of Bitterness.

It's underneath the
cloth on that table.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah, I'm sure.

He's going to steal
it, just look at him.

Look at those beady
eyes, looks like a crook.

We have to do something.

(footsteps)

- What are you doing?

(sneaky music)

- We're going to use these.

- We can't use--

- Shh!

We're rescuing the
mayor, remember?

Okay, I'll sneak up behind him

and then you help me get
him into the storage room.

Okay, on three.

Ready.

One.

Two.

Three!

- Hurry!

- He better pay me.

- Did he say he
was coming tonight?

- He didn't say much,
just that he would pay me.

- If he does not
identify himself up here,

I suggest we return
downstairs after the auction.

- Ah!

Here!

Is my magnum opus.

Oh, do you see how I
control the imperceptible

by including what is
not there, oh-ho-ho.

(Kitch makes kissy noise)

Oh, something with nothing
and nothing with something.

The value of the
space is activated

and it unnerves us.

- Very generous, Kitsch, a
true artist creates for passion

not for monetary gain.

- Good to see some of you
men still have your freedom.

Take our friends
here to the far side

and don't let them
fall off the plank.

- [Man] Careful.

- Trust me, you don't
wanan fall off the plank.

You guys, get that
plank, pull it back.

Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on.

All right, gentlemen, you
remove your blindfolds.

(dramatic music)

[Evil Laugh]

Our guests will
be arriving soon.

Meanwhile, you guys stay
here, keep an eye on them.

I have something I
have to go pick up.

- There, that oughtta hold you

'til we can find the mastermind.

- You don't think he's the one?

- Does he look smart enough
to be a mastermind to you?

(muffled sounds)

- Look at him, he looks
like he's from Perlington.

(dramatic music)

- No, Fred, he's
not working alone.

Yeah, we'll get back to you,

once we take out the kingpin,

and liberate the
mayor and chief.

- Ladies and gentlemen, the
auction is about to begin,

so if you will all--

- Hey, what have you got there?

- It's about time you got here.

- I think he's...

- Oh, take that ghastly
thing out of here.

And you, you're always late.

You'll be late for
your own funeral.

- But that's the--

- Don't you try and change
the subject on me, young man.

- But that's the--

- Don't you give
me any sass, boy.

- But he--

- Bring those programs
in here immediately.

(sneaky music)

- Welcome, my
fellow crime bosses.

I have a few things I'd like
to share with you this evening.

But first,

a gift.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

the Bronzed Basin of Bitterness.

(collective gasp)

(murmurs)

- That is your art, Kitsch.

- Philistines!

Let's go find that guy who's
going to pay for my art.

- Kitsch, it's not
that deficient.

(murmurs)

- I stole this
thing once before,

but they didn't give
me any credit for it.

So this time, I
ain't givin' it back.

No, no, no, no, no.

Like I said, gentlemen.

This will be a gift
for one of you.

- Don't move.

- [Inmates] Don't move.

- Max, send them in.

Max, Max, are you there?

(muffled screaming)

Max, can you hear me?

- Does that say restroom?

- Ladies Room.

- Max, Max, do you hear me?

- This must be it, Ethel.

It sure smells right.

- I'm a here to be a paid
for my beautiful picture.

- You,

- Uh oh.

- You, hold this.

Come on, come on, come on.

Everyone, guns on the floor.

Now, drop 'em.

You, too, Pops.

Now, get over there.

Join the mayor and
the chief, move it.

Go.

(women wailing)

- Move it!

Go, come on, come on, come on.

Give me that!

(indistinct chatter)

- Hey!

- I don't think
that was it, Ethel.

- Before we begin, we are
honored to have Mayor Lint,

our very own mayor of
Brambleburg, address us

with a few remarks.

I've been told there
will be a slight delay

in the mayor's speech.

- Oh, there you are, Mabel.

- He's probably
stuck in traffic.

- Or gone fishing.

- So, oh, there he is.

(clapping)

World peace, save the possums,

lower taxes, more
services, thank ya.

(cheering)

- Well, it's about
time he got back

from his little fishing trip.

I'm going to give him
a piece of my mind.

- Thank you, Mayor Lint.

That was right to the point.

Well, the time has come that
we've all been waiting for

and remember folks,
every dollar we raise

goes to saving those
furry little critters,

the American oppossum.

(elevator dings)

- Hey, over there!

- Get back here!

(indistinct yelling)

- It's going up, going up,
the stairs, the stairs.

- Which floor?

- Four.

- Pick two.

- No, then we stop
at every floor.

- Which floor then?

- I don't know, just pick one.

- Okay, three.

- Hey, why you pick three?

- Hey, you ask me to pick one.

- Yes, but why you pick three?

- Listen, buster.

- [All] Hey!

- Whoa!

- Freeze!

- I'll take that

gift.

- Come on!

- Down, they're going
down, down, down!

- Put it down.

- There you are, Cyril.

Gone fishing, have you,
without even telling your wife.

I never. You are...

Who is this man?

What are you doing
to my husband?

Unhand him.

- Restroom. It's
this way, Ethel.

Going up! Up! Up!

(Indistinct yelling)

(Indistinct yelling)

- I'll take that!

Everybody stay put.

See.

(man cackles)

- This isn't it, Mildred.

- Going down, it's going down.

Down the stairs.

We're going down.

Oh, come on, let's go, let's go.

- Did you hear something, Ethel?

(men screaming)

- 50 cents from the
lady in the green hat.

- It's arsenic.

- Do I hear 75 cents?

75 cents, there's 75 cents.

Do I have a dollar? One dollar!

One dollar for
this fine knitting

from one of our United
States army veterans.

One dollar, yes,
do I have $1.25?

Sold for $1 to the lovely
lady in the green hat.

- It's arsenic.

- There he is.

(women screaming)

(people screaming)

- Oh, there you are.

I only had three husbands,

now Ethel had six.

Do you know Ethel?

They passed away from
all kinds of things.

- What do I hear for
this fine piece of art?

Bidding starts at
$5, do I hear $5?

$5, do I hear $10?

- I think they just gave up

because they were tired
of listening to her talk.

That woman could talk a hind leg

off an elephant.

- Delivery for Robert Whitmore.

Deliver, delivery
for Robert Whitmore.

- Do I hear $50, $50!
Do I hear a hundred?

A hundred dollars?

One hundred dollars.

Do I hear 200?

Two hundred dollars!

Do I hear 500? Five
hundred dollars!

Do I hear a thousand?

A thousand dollars!

- What about you? You
haven't said a thing.

All this talk about husbands

has got me flustered.

I don't know how we got
started on marriage.

Talking to a man I
just met about marriage

seems rather sudden,
don't ya think?

Oh my!

- Welcome aboard.

Top floor, please.

(elevator dings)

- Ten thousand dollars!

Do I hear twenty thousand?

- They cornered the
suspects on the roof.

(crowd murmuring)

- Where'd he go?

(car honking)

- Dad, Dad, what are you doing?

I thought you went off to
do something important?

- Bobby, I don't
know what to say.

(sirens blaring)

- You said you were
coming back, Dad.

You lied to me.

I waited for you, Dad, I waited.

I told everyone how much
of a great guy you were.

I told them how proud I was.

I showed them this.

I told people,

I told my son, that
you were coming back.

(car honking)

It was all a lie.

You can have it back.

- I'm sorry, Bobby.

I guess I wasn't
much of a father.

- Much of a father?

You were not a father at all.

I just thank God
that I had Grandma

and Grandpa.

- I'm sorry, Bobby.

- Dad.

I've learned a few things
about myself this week.

I thought that
all the bitterness

and pain that I was feeling
was someone else's fault.

Actually, your fault

and God's.

This week, I was forced to
take a look inside myself

and I didn't like what I saw.

I realized...

that I was blaming everyone
else for their sins,

but I was giving myself a pass.

Someone shared
with me this verse.

If we confess our sins,

he is faithful and just
to forgive our sins.

So, I did it.

I asked God to forgive me.

And you know what?

That pain and that bitterness...

It's starting to melt away.

Dad , Dad, look at me.

I have a very important
question to ask you.

Will you please forgive me?

- You want me to forgive you?

- I've been nursing some
pretty hateful feelings.

But I'm not your judge, Dad.

And I did not have the right
to disrespect you like that.

- I'm sorry, Bobby.

- Dad!

You don't have to do that.

Forgiveness is
there for you, too.

- I need to ask you
to forgive me, too.

I was never there for
you when you were a boy,

when you needed me.

I've never forgiven myself
since you left home.

I always blamed myself

for the path you took.

I don't expect you to
forgive me now, but...

maybe someday...

you'll find it in your heart...

Maybe.

(basin shattering)

(crowd gasps)

- Let's pick up the pieces.

(somber melody)

- This has been an eventful
week in the city of Brambleburg.

Many changes have taken place
and the city of Brambleburg

is grateful to Inspectors
Whitmore and Whitmore.

(crowd cheering)

And so to represent
a new chapter

in the life of Brambleburg...

Kitsch!

- [Kitsch] The humble
Mosaic of Forgiveness.

- Notice how the piece
demonstrates unseen vital forces

and a firm aesthetic control
of the imperceptible.

- Oh, I love a man
who understands art.

My other husbands didn't know

one end of a sculpture
from another,

but you, you are a
regular Rembrandt,

an aficionado of the arts,
a connoisseur of culture.

- Inspector Robert Steven
Whitmore the First,

you are hereby granted

the Brambleburg medal of honor.

(crowd cheering)

Congratulations
and God bless ya!

(clapping)

- Blundering buckets of beans!

Why does he get all the credit?

(patriotic music)

Who writes this brainless,
boneheaded bunk anyway?

- Delivery for Robert Whitmore.

- Which Robert Whitmore?

There's three of them, you know?

- Oh.

Robert Whitmore the First.

- I'll take that.

- You can just sign here.

- It's from the pension board.

What now?

- In view of the error
regarding your time

of qualifying service, we
have conducted a review

of your service record.

- Skip ahead.

Hmm!

- I wasn't short
six days after all.

- You didn't have to go back?

- Yeah.

I think he did.

- I have a new package here.

It's for Robert
Whitmore the Third.

- Well, that's
me, who's it from?

- Robert Whitmore the Second.

- Really?

Yo-yos for everyone!

Come on, Grandpa.

Come on.

- [Grandma] You've
still got it, Honey.

(upbeat spy music)