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1
00:00:06,980 --> 00:00:10,380
Hey, Papa D. Come on in.
2
00:00:10,420 --> 00:00:13,620
-Sit down. How you doing?
-What's going on?
3
00:00:13,660 --> 00:00:16,430
I just wanted to have
a little, uh, chat.
4
00:00:16,490 --> 00:00:17,700
-Is someone dead?
-No, no, no.
5
00:00:17,730 --> 00:00:19,000
-Is my dad dead?
-No, no, no, no.
6
00:00:19,030 --> 00:00:20,440
I mean, listen, one of
my favorite things
7
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:21,970
on this base, if not
my favorite thing,
8
00:00:22,010 --> 00:00:23,070
is that tank we stole.
9
00:00:23,270 --> 00:00:28,350
And that heist proved
to me that you have potential.
10
00:00:28,380 --> 00:00:29,890
-Potential? Okay.
-Yes.
11
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,120
Now we're talking.
I'm listening, man.
12
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:33,290
Go pull Dead Poets Society
on me.
13
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:34,700
"Oh, colonel, my colonel."
14
00:00:34,770 --> 00:00:36,700
I don't know what that means,
but listen to me.
15
00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:38,940
You're a corporal, right?
So you're on a leadership track.
16
00:00:38,970 --> 00:00:42,010
And, and you can't remember
when to salute.
17
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,750
That's the kind of thing,
it's a basic...
18
00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:46,560
No, no, it's not now.
19
00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:49,590
-No, and this is all wrong.
-Open hand?
20
00:00:49,660 --> 00:00:51,800
Just put it down.
I don't even need you to
21
00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:55,640
meet me halfway anymore,
'cause I know you'd get winded.
22
00:00:55,710 --> 00:00:57,110
I just need you to take
23
00:00:57,180 --> 00:00:59,110
a couple of baby steps
towards me, all right?
24
00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:01,690
-Pfft. Yeah, or else what?
-Or else...
25
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,720
We both know you're not gonna
kick me out of the army.
26
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,530
Dude, tech geniuses don't come
to Stroopsdorf very often.
27
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,830
I mean, the guy I replaced
was still paying for AOL.
28
00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:10,940
I will drum you out
if I have to.
29
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,740
-For what?
-Your hair, mustache, posture,
30
00:01:14,780 --> 00:01:18,120
attitude, laziness,
lack of fitness, gait.
31
00:01:18,150 --> 00:01:19,760
-Okay. Yeah.
-Do you know what I'm saying?
32
00:01:19,790 --> 00:01:21,460
Pfft. It's tough love.
33
00:01:21,490 --> 00:01:23,830
But maybe it's time to grow up.
34
00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:25,170
Hey, we're about to serve
35
00:01:25,270 --> 00:01:26,700
birthday cake in
the Team Center.
36
00:01:26,770 --> 00:01:28,200
I'm only trying to get you...
37
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:29,710
What? W-where are you going?
38
00:01:29,740 --> 00:01:33,420
You are not dismissed. I will
kick you out for good.
39
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:34,620
Oh, my God.
40
00:01:34,690 --> 00:01:37,060
I'm never gonna make it
through this place.
41
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:00,670
-Hey.
-Hi.
42
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:01,810
-Got a minute?
-Yeah.
43
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,580
Would you care to join me
on a little trip
44
00:02:04,610 --> 00:02:07,120
to a local antique store
that apparently has
45
00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:09,920
a sizable collection of
World War II memorabilia,
46
00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:12,960
including a Colt
single-action revolver
47
00:02:13,030 --> 00:02:15,670
used by General Patton
during the war?
48
00:02:15,730 --> 00:02:17,000
-Wow.
-I know.
49
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,670
This is like, you know,
something that we
50
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,650
really bonded over
when you were a kid and...
51
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:26,790
Yeah. A love for World War II
is not something that we shared.
52
00:02:26,860 --> 00:02:28,490
Yeah, you droning on
about it is something
53
00:02:28,590 --> 00:02:30,300
-I've always had to endure.
-What?
54
00:02:30,330 --> 00:02:31,770
Do you remember
my ninth birthday?
55
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,840
I had a slumber party,
and you made us all watch
56
00:02:33,870 --> 00:02:35,940
Saving Private Ryan, and
then all the girls had to
57
00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:37,080
call their parents
to get picked up
58
00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:38,550
after Vin Diesel's head
was blasted off?
59
00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:39,850
Honey, you're never too young
60
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,120
to learn not to walk
into a sniper's ambush.
61
00:02:42,190 --> 00:02:44,590
Why are you so obsessed
with World War II?
62
00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:47,000
The greatest war fought by
the greatest generation
63
00:02:47,060 --> 00:02:52,010
against the greatest enemy that
we have ever crushed like a bug.
64
00:02:52,070 --> 00:02:53,580
You know, when I was
little, I thought
65
00:02:53,610 --> 00:02:58,420
that you loved this war more
than you loved me.
66
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,120
Oh, my God. I was right.
67
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,630
-Are you serious?
-No! Of course not.
68
00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:02,760
-Of course not?
-I have to say something
69
00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:04,400
like that out loud? That's the
problem with your generation...
70
00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:05,430
Yes, you literally
do have to say
71
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:06,670
something like that out loud.
72
00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:08,270
-My generation?
-...is everything has to
73
00:03:08,340 --> 00:03:09,940
-be said out loud.
-Your generation
74
00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:11,180
is obsessed with World War II.
75
00:03:11,210 --> 00:03:14,020
Oh, my God. You know what?
Let me explain something to you.
76
00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:16,720
When I was a kid, there were
Nazis everywhere, okay?
77
00:03:16,790 --> 00:03:18,260
Hiding out in basements
in Cleveland.
78
00:03:18,330 --> 00:03:20,630
They were selling used cars
in Wisconsin.
79
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,070
And I'll tell you something
else. When I was a kid,
80
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:23,670
I'd go to the Oktoberfest
every year
81
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:25,070
just to see if I could see
one of these
82
00:03:25,110 --> 00:03:27,080
drunk German
bastards slip a Sieg Heil.
83
00:03:27,110 --> 00:03:28,710
Now, they never did,
but, you know,
84
00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:30,450
and they did report
to my parents
85
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,390
that I was kind of
stalking them.
86
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:34,690
But I learned to be vigilant
because our enemies
87
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,830
are always around us, especially
here. Are you kidding me?
88
00:03:37,930 --> 00:03:40,440
-Here, of all places. Yes.
-In the Netherlands?
89
00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:42,610
The biggest threat
to the United States
90
00:03:42,670 --> 00:03:44,680
is how much better
their Kit Kat is.
91
00:03:44,710 --> 00:03:47,220
That's the kind of dovish
thinking that leads
92
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,020
to our base being wide open
to our enemies
93
00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,460
- and a surprise attack.
- Did you know that
94
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,260
we run war games quarterly?
95
00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:53,960
- You run war games? Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
96
00:03:54,030 --> 00:03:58,070
What are you, warm up some
towels and melt some Kit Kats?
97
00:03:58,140 --> 00:04:00,610
War games.
Oh, this is interesting.
98
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,920
I think I'd like to run one
tomorrow at 0900.
99
00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:05,450
-We'll be ready.
-Okay.
100
00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:06,490
And what about the little jaunt
101
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,230
to the, uh, antique store?
102
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:10,460
Oh, sure.
Yeah, as long as I can, uh,
103
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:14,800
take General Patton's gun
and shoot myself in the head.
104
00:04:22,950 --> 00:04:24,590
All right, listen up.
105
00:04:24,660 --> 00:04:30,540
Everybody listen up.
We are at war.
106
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:33,510
Russian forces have invaded
Eastern Europe.
107
00:04:33,610 --> 00:04:35,510
Tyranny is at our doorstep.
108
00:04:35,610 --> 00:04:40,820
And I say we open the door and
punch tyranny right in the neck.
109
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,100
I know this is just a war game,
but he is giving that
110
00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:46,840
Danny Day-Lewis level
of commitment.
111
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:51,650
Now, our mission today is to
meet at the rendezvous point
112
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:54,650
and supply three full brigades
113
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,260
with laundry and cheese.
114
00:04:58,330 --> 00:04:59,330
Yeah!
115
00:04:59,390 --> 00:05:00,930
Woo-hoo!
116
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,840
Do you understand
the mission?
117
00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:05,370
Sir, yes, sir!
118
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:08,280
Now let's go do it! Dismissed.
119
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,660
You're gonna like what you see
today. My troops are special.
120
00:05:14,730 --> 00:05:16,530
-Oh, yeah, they're special.
-You can't say that.
121
00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:17,730
What, I just said what you said.
122
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,500
-No, you had a tone.
-I said special.
123
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:20,900
-You said special.
-You said special
124
00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:24,110
-in a special tone.
-Forget it. You have one hour.
125
00:05:24,180 --> 00:05:25,180
No problem.
126
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,260
The first round of MREs are
headed to the truck,
127
00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:33,800
and we have plenty of cheese
for the rest.
128
00:05:33,830 --> 00:05:35,770
Are you sure about that,
sergeant?
129
00:05:35,830 --> 00:05:37,740
An enemy just fired
a short-range ballistic missile.
130
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:41,340
All of this cheese is destroyed.
131
00:05:41,410 --> 00:05:43,210
No, seriously,
all of it's destroyed.
132
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:44,890
-Go away.
-What are you doing?
133
00:05:44,950 --> 00:05:47,720
Your war game scenario read
like a Black Friday rehearsal
134
00:05:47,820 --> 00:05:50,330
at Walmart. Major Shah
is here to represent
135
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,400
the unpredictability
of the enemy.
136
00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:55,870
I'm your worst nightmare.
I am the agent of chaos.
137
00:05:55,910 --> 00:05:56,710
Why are you dressed
138
00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:58,810
-like a stagehand?
-Mm-hmm.
139
00:05:58,850 --> 00:06:00,480
Okay, well, the enemy
could be anyone.
140
00:06:00,580 --> 00:06:02,690
I thought the black would sell
that. I just made a choice.
141
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,220
I don't think
he looks like a stagehand.
142
00:06:04,290 --> 00:06:05,790
-I think he looks cool.
-Thank you.
143
00:06:05,860 --> 00:06:08,670
Clock is ticking, captain.
Clock is ticking.
144
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,300
Sergeant, deploy the Comté.
145
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,510
-Uh, the...
-That's just fancy cheese.
146
00:06:12,570 --> 00:06:15,410
Just hold her. This is why we
keep a secret stash.
147
00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:17,350
Uh, I'm-I'm gonna do it,
but you don't have to use
148
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:21,460
outlandish words together
like just and fancy.
149
00:06:21,490 --> 00:06:22,990
Captain, we have a problem.
150
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:26,330
-Uh... Uh...
-Hey.
151
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,000
Captain, we're down to like
half the machines.
152
00:06:28,070 --> 00:06:29,370
They keep tripping the breakers.
153
00:06:29,410 --> 00:06:31,110
The Russians have colluded
with your suppliers,
154
00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:32,980
and now you've got
faulty wiring.
155
00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:36,190
-Agent of chaos strikes again.
-Why are you doing this?
156
00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:38,120
Because no one understands the
enemy better than the Colonel.
157
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,260
If he says you're gonna be
attacked, you gotta be ready.
158
00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:42,870
Nope. I mean,
why are you a stagehand?
159
00:06:42,930 --> 00:06:45,170
Okay, what is this vendetta
against stagehands?
160
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:46,940
They're the backbone
of the theater.
161
00:06:47,010 --> 00:06:48,010
Relax, Shakespeare.
162
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,020
-You're wearing a cool outfit.
-Thank you.
163
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,090
Corporal Papadakis, I need
more power to laundry.
164
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:54,660
Yeah, working
on it, Captain.
165
00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:55,890
Hey, listen, while I have you,
166
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,500
I'd love for you
to support my appeal
167
00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,500
regarding the Colonel's
kicking me out of the Army.
168
00:06:59,530 --> 00:07:01,610
I like it here. They gave
me a free footlocker
169
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:02,610
in the Bayou Churchill.
170
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,040
Not the time, corporal.
171
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,510
I shouldn't be
punished for my love
172
00:07:05,510 --> 00:07:08,480
of birthday cake
because well, it's just that
173
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:09,960
cake and I are an amazing team.
174
00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:11,890
We're, uh, together like
peanut butter and jelly,
175
00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:13,730
like college students
and Adderall, okay?
176
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,070
-Appeal denied, soldier.
-Don't...
177
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:17,900
Corporal, what about the power?
178
00:07:17,940 --> 00:07:19,810
I can get you the juice,
but I'd have to shut down
179
00:07:19,870 --> 00:07:21,210
the bowling alley
and let's just say
180
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,780
the locals are
having a tournament.
181
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:25,950
Betray your beloved
townies? No way
182
00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:30,900
-Do it.
-May God have mercy on us all.
183
00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:41,850
Back on schedule.
184
00:07:41,850 --> 00:07:43,050
Impressive.
185
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,190
You ain't seen nothing yet.
186
00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:49,630
-Only I get to be that cocky.
-Let's go, move, move!
187
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:52,010
Oh, um, just one more
load of laundry
188
00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:54,280
with, uh, time to spare.
Would you look at that?
189
00:07:54,310 --> 00:07:57,850
Well, how is BA gonna handle
it without his jeep, you know?
190
00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,290
The enemy had to
watch an hour-long
191
00:07:59,350 --> 00:08:02,030
YouTube tutorial
to figure this one out.
192
00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:04,400
-Twenty. Mississippi,
-Private BA?
193
00:08:04,430 --> 00:08:07,170
-Nineteen...
-Anyone got eyes on BA?
194
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,810
-I'm really going slow.
-Stop!
195
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:10,110
-Mississippi, seventeen.
-Come on, BA.
196
00:08:10,180 --> 00:08:12,110
- Watch out, watch out!
- Here he comes!
197
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:13,720
Watch out! Out of the way!
198
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,600
Yes, yes!
199
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,570
-Whoo!
-Whoo!
200
00:08:25,610 --> 00:08:27,680
-Yes! Yes!
-Way to go, BA!
201
00:08:27,710 --> 00:08:29,080
-Thank you.
-Oh, colonel.
202
00:08:29,110 --> 00:08:31,990
You have to remind me.
How do you like your crow?
203
00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:35,430
Barbecue, right? I told
you we're always prepared,
204
00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:36,700
and we can handle you,
and, I mean...
205
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,700
Hey, what the hell is that?
206
00:08:38,770 --> 00:08:40,240
That appears to be a drone, sir.
207
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,940
Yeah, we have an unidentified
bogey in our airspace.
208
00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:44,710
Oh, Colonel, no, no, no.
That's just Geert.
209
00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:46,180
-What's Geert?
-Geert.
210
00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:48,120
He's a little Dutch boy
who lives in the next town.
211
00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:50,020
He's quite
the drone pilot. Hi, Geert.
212
00:08:50,090 --> 00:08:51,790
-Hi, cutie.
-What, don't wave at him.
213
00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:53,430
You're letting this kid
fly a drone in?
214
00:08:53,460 --> 00:08:55,470
Yeah, he's like
the base's pen pal.
215
00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:57,670
-The pen pal? The base pen pal?
-Yeah.
216
00:08:57,740 --> 00:09:00,810
Yeah. And there we go.
217
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,880
Oh, he wants to know
how the war game went.
218
00:09:02,950 --> 00:09:05,490
Oh, that's what the enemy
would wanna know.
219
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:06,860
That's what the enemy
would wanna know.
220
00:09:06,890 --> 00:09:08,260
-Ugh!
-No, no, Geert.
221
00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:15,770
Aha. Chinese lettering.
What does that say?
222
00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:18,340
Sir, that says made in China.
223
00:09:18,380 --> 00:09:20,050
If that makes this
an enemy drone,
224
00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:21,790
then I have a 65-inch
flat screen
225
00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:22,950
you'll wanna interrogate.
226
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:25,020
Okay, are we done
fear-mongering?
227
00:09:25,060 --> 00:09:27,660
I'm not fear-mongering.
Have you met this kid?
228
00:09:27,730 --> 00:09:28,770
Yeah, we FaceTimed him once.
229
00:09:28,830 --> 00:09:29,970
Yeah, and what did he look like?
230
00:09:30,030 --> 00:09:31,040
He...
231
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,810
-He was too shy to be on camera.
-Oh?
232
00:09:32,870 --> 00:09:34,410
But that made sense at the time.
233
00:09:34,510 --> 00:09:35,850
I'm sure it
made sense at the time.
234
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,720
If you're a toothless woman
from the Midwest
235
00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:40,320
trying to catfish somebody
or, of course, a kid spy.
236
00:09:40,390 --> 00:09:43,030
No, you always do this.
You always need an enemy.
237
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,830
It's like when you
thought my babysitter
238
00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:46,330
was poisoning my mind
with propaganda.
239
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,170
O-okay, that stupid giving tree
with the free handouts
240
00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:51,980
that boy needed to get a real
job and buy his own wood.
241
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,580
Colonel, Papadakis was
able to extract data
242
00:09:53,650 --> 00:09:56,020
from the drone's GPS.
We have Geert's location.
243
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,220
No, no, no.
244
00:09:57,260 --> 00:10:00,830
No, you're not going into
a child's house
245
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,370
and accusing him of espionage.
246
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,140
-You're right. I'm not.
-Thank you.
247
00:10:05,170 --> 00:10:07,680
-We are. Yeah, we are going.
-What?
248
00:10:07,710 --> 00:10:08,810
That sounds like a great
249
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,620
father-daughter
bonding experience.
250
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:12,190
-Let me know how that goes.
-No, no, no, no, no.
251
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:13,860
-No, we're all going.
-What did you say?
252
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:14,930
-I can't hear you.
-We're all going.
253
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:17,000
I can't hear you. Who is we?
254
00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:19,400
Geert is
not a terrorist.
255
00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:21,570
He's a sweet 12-year-old boy.
256
00:10:21,610 --> 00:10:23,240
Where does this paranoia
even come from?
257
00:10:23,310 --> 00:10:26,280
Okay, how about one cursory
glance at history, huh?
258
00:10:26,350 --> 00:10:28,180
Beautiful countryside.
You'd think nothing bad
259
00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:30,450
ever happened here, right?
You'd be wrong.
260
00:10:30,490 --> 00:10:32,390
September 1944.
261
00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:35,000
It's like we're on one of
their family road trips.
262
00:10:35,030 --> 00:10:36,300
-Right.
-I'm just kidding.
263
00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:38,540
He wasn't around long enough
for them to go anywhere.
264
00:10:38,610 --> 00:10:40,140
I'm sorry you got
dragged into this.
265
00:10:40,210 --> 00:10:42,080
Oh, it's okay. I'm sure
I'll get something out of it.
266
00:10:42,110 --> 00:10:43,580
Yeah, absolutely.
You can learn a lot.
267
00:10:43,650 --> 00:10:45,550
I mean, no one anticipates
a surprise attack
268
00:10:45,590 --> 00:10:47,590
or can sniff out a mole
like the colonel.
269
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,290
Yeah, well,
that's not what I meant.
270
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,070
The man cost me my Comté.
271
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:53,900
I will be leaving
with something.
272
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,670
Okay. Operation Market Garden.
273
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:57,080
The Battle of the Scheldt.
274
00:10:57,110 --> 00:10:59,080
Right up the road here,
the Battle of Otterlo.
275
00:10:59,110 --> 00:11:01,120
I mean, this whole area,
all the roads,
276
00:11:01,180 --> 00:11:05,760
meadows, fields,
just smothered by Nazis.
277
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,730
Are you being wistful right now?
278
00:11:07,730 --> 00:11:10,500
You sound like you were longing
for an old friend.
279
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,840
I just would love to
have been there
280
00:11:12,870 --> 00:11:14,240
just so I could, you know,
281
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,510
just punch one Nazi
right in his Nazi face.
282
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:20,260
Okay, dad, stop. You're,
you're making me a statistic.
283
00:11:20,290 --> 00:11:22,430
Just another daughter
who has lost her father
284
00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:23,860
to World War II addiction.
285
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:27,240
It's like fentanyl for boomers.
286
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,610
The colonel is finally
serious about kicking me out.
287
00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:31,140
I guess we should just
put up our stuff.
288
00:11:31,210 --> 00:11:33,310
I'm gonna need to take that
Fast 8 poster.
289
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:35,820
All the computers, the TV,
the beanbag couch.
290
00:11:35,890 --> 00:11:38,060
Okay, I guess I called dibs
on the mini fridge then.
291
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,060
Now, wait, man ,
I can't let you do that.
292
00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:41,800
We brought that baby
into this world together
293
00:11:41,870 --> 00:11:43,000
with those Dave & Buster
tickets.
294
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,600
-I know, I know.
-I just wish there was something
295
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,280
we could do to change
the colonel's mind.
296
00:11:47,310 --> 00:11:49,310
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait. I've got it.
297
00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:50,880
What does the colonel hate
more than anything
298
00:11:50,950 --> 00:11:52,950
-in the entire world?
-Pacifists.
299
00:11:53,020 --> 00:11:55,760
-And after that?
-Billie Eilish?
300
00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:58,030
Okay, third then?
301
00:11:58,060 --> 00:11:59,430
The possum's squatting
in the air tower.
302
00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:01,710
Dude, we just gotta figure out
a way to kick him out!
303
00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:03,910
I know!
304
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:06,180
I'm scared of possums.
305
00:12:14,930 --> 00:12:16,800
- Ah! Ah!
- Oh, God.
306
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,240
Everything hurts.
307
00:12:19,310 --> 00:12:23,820
Dude, that just felt
unbelievably coordinated.
308
00:12:23,850 --> 00:12:26,350
Yes, I think they, I think
they speak same language.
309
00:12:26,420 --> 00:12:28,690
Felt like they were
toying with us at the end.
310
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,110
So you are Geert?
311
00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:40,450
I am Geert chess teacher.
312
00:12:41,450 --> 00:12:44,120
Geert, you have adult visitors.
313
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,990
-I'll leave you now.
-Yeah.
314
00:12:46,060 --> 00:12:48,500
-Hm?
-A Russian chess teacher?
315
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,970
Maggie, Dana.
316
00:12:52,010 --> 00:12:53,540
-Hi!
-My American friends.
317
00:12:53,580 --> 00:12:54,980
I told you
he was a boy.
318
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,510
Hey, Geert,
where are your parents?
319
00:12:56,550 --> 00:12:58,320
The dentist.
320
00:12:58,350 --> 00:13:01,020
Parents are at a joint
dental appointment
321
00:13:01,090 --> 00:13:02,860
in a country
with socialized medicine?
322
00:13:02,890 --> 00:13:04,100
Yeah, likely story, pal.
323
00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:05,470
Um, hey,
you know, I've always
324
00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:07,040
trusted your instincts, right?
325
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:09,670
Yeah, I know.
That's 'cause I'm always right.
326
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:11,340
I predicted your divorce
at your wedding.
327
00:13:11,410 --> 00:13:12,750
That was a really heartfelt
speech, sir.
328
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:15,520
I just think
that's a child, right?
329
00:13:15,590 --> 00:13:17,160
And I was with you
this whole time,
330
00:13:17,220 --> 00:13:18,790
but once again, that is a child.
331
00:13:18,860 --> 00:13:20,230
-Maybe we should leave.
-Yeah, you're right.
332
00:13:20,290 --> 00:13:22,700
Let me tell you something,
Benjamin Button.
333
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:24,540
You have everybody else
fooled, but not me.
334
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:25,970
I know you're up to something.
335
00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:27,280
You got five seconds
to come clean.
336
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,250
-Dad! Dad, stop!
-One, Mississippi.
337
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,550
-Two, U.S. Army.
-Geert, please don't cry!
338
00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:34,420
No, Margaret. He is right.
339
00:13:34,490 --> 00:13:37,030
I've been secretly
collecting documents.
340
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,870
I shall give them to you now.
341
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,700
Documents! He's got it.
342
00:13:40,770 --> 00:13:42,910
-What?
-Collecting documents.
343
00:13:42,970 --> 00:13:44,940
I was right. Thank you.
344
00:13:44,980 --> 00:13:47,780
That's just his mom's
glossy fashion magazine.
345
00:13:47,850 --> 00:13:51,590
Zendaya makes me feel things
in my body.
346
00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:53,260
Is that why
it's so glossy?
347
00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:54,600
Geert,
what's going on?
348
00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:57,500
-Parents are here.
-Ah, we're here.
349
00:13:57,540 --> 00:14:01,980
So, yeah, it's official.
Your son's into Zendaya, um...
350
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,420
Zendaya, so it means he's
probably into girls, so...
351
00:14:04,450 --> 00:14:07,120
-Who are you?
-We're the U.S. Navy.
352
00:14:07,190 --> 00:14:10,060
-Yeah, that's right.
-We're everywhere, okay?
353
00:14:10,090 --> 00:14:12,470
Sorry. Gotta get
back to the boat!
354
00:14:15,910 --> 00:14:17,110
You were right. Fine.
355
00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:20,180
Geert hasn't been turned
by the enemy... yet.
356
00:14:20,210 --> 00:14:21,780
-Oh, my God.
-Sir. This might be the fact
357
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:23,760
that I just witnessed
a tearful confession
358
00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:25,090
of a preteen's
masturbation habits,
359
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,730
but maybe it's time
to admit that
360
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,400
here in the Netherlands, we're
not surrounded by enemies.
361
00:14:29,470 --> 00:14:31,400
Okay, well, you're just
lucky you weren't here
362
00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:34,880
in the early 1930s,
when apparently a harmless,
363
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:36,110
failed Austrian painter...
364
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:37,450
-Don't say it.
-Please don't.
365
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,050
...everybody
came to call...
366
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,230
No, no, no! Okay, you know what?
You want World War II?
367
00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:45,770
I will give you World War II.
Let's go.
368
00:14:48,610 --> 00:14:51,850
Wow, what a nice surprise.
369
00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:54,450
You've got some incredible
pieces here.
370
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,290
Here it is. This is what
you wanted to see, right?
371
00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,490
Patton's gun?
372
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,360
Wow, look at that.
373
00:15:01,430 --> 00:15:03,300
He said his .357
was his killing gun,
374
00:15:03,330 --> 00:15:05,100
but this was
his walking-around gun.
375
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:07,510
Thank you for bringing me here.
I mean, this is a great way
376
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,750
to admit that you were wrong.
It's very honorable.
377
00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:13,290
No, see, I brought you here
to show you what's gonna happen
378
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:15,560
if you don't stop
living in the past.
379
00:15:15,590 --> 00:15:17,560
If you refuse to evolve,
380
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:21,440
you're just gonna
become an old, dusty relic
381
00:15:21,510 --> 00:15:24,010
that nobody wants
anything to do with.
382
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,020
Okay.
383
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:32,390
-Was that too mean?
-Hmm.
384
00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:35,030
-Do you have a bathroom?
-Mm-hmm-mm.
385
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:38,570
Bathroom, bathroom,
where are you? But...
386
00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:48,120
Holy Nazi!
387
00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:54,370
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God. He is a Nazi.
388
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,270
I still gotta pee.
389
00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:04,460
Colonel, colonel.
You're gonna wanna hear this.
390
00:16:04,490 --> 00:16:06,030
All right, listen,
I know you were right.
391
00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:08,360
I am a dusty old relic
that belongs on a shelf.
392
00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:10,570
I don't get it.
I just, I guess I need,
393
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,410
like, an enemy for moral clarity
or something, you know?
394
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:18,520
That is real growth, and I want
you to remember that, okay?
395
00:16:18,550 --> 00:16:20,450
And-and remember
that you were wrong
396
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,900
about Geert and the drone,
and so, so, so, so much more.
397
00:16:23,930 --> 00:16:25,670
-Okay, yeah, yeah.
-Usually so wrong
398
00:16:25,730 --> 00:16:30,940
about all things. Um, but
there's a Nazi in there.
399
00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:32,610
I knew it! There's a Nazi.
400
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:34,220
Yeah, I should have
recognized that mole.
401
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,990
It's Cindy Crawford meets
the master race.
402
00:16:36,050 --> 00:16:37,620
It's Helmut von Furstenberg,
403
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:39,890
the Butcher of Baden,
and I'm about to get him.
404
00:16:39,930 --> 00:16:41,700
Okay, Colonel,
your instincts were right.
405
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,540
There was an enemy near-ish.
406
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:46,170
-I'm sorry I doubted you, sir.
-Okay, he didn't know.
407
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:47,340
Well, maybe we should
circle back
408
00:16:47,410 --> 00:16:48,650
and check on Geert after this.
409
00:16:48,710 --> 00:16:49,810
-Good idea.
-Wrong lesson.
410
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,220
-Makes no sense.
-I don't know.
411
00:16:51,250 --> 00:16:53,050
-He did find the Nazi.
-I-I found him.
412
00:16:53,090 --> 00:16:54,890
-But why would he be here?
-The Battle of Otterlo.
413
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,830
An Allied victory so resounding
that Nazis who were fleeing
414
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:00,640
stripped off their uniforms
and melted into the countryside
415
00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:02,740
to live their cowardly lives
in anonymity.
416
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,610
-Like this guy.
-Wow.
417
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,680
Okay, just 'cause I was bored
out of my mind
418
00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:07,950
doesn't mean I wasn't listening.
419
00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:09,550
-You know?
-I can't believe this, guys.
420
00:17:09,620 --> 00:17:13,260
I'm gonna fight the final battle
of World War II.
421
00:17:13,330 --> 00:17:14,730
Oh, my God,
and I get to punch a Nazi.
422
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:15,830
Probably the final Nazi.
423
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,970
I'm gonna be in
the history books.
424
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:21,240
-Wow.
-Are you getting emotional?
425
00:17:21,310 --> 00:17:22,610
This is a big deal for him.
426
00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:24,380
All right, he's got
a real Indiana Jones fantasy
427
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:26,090
and everything in there
belongs in a museum.
428
00:17:26,150 --> 00:17:28,590
So this is poetic.
429
00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:31,130
Okay, how do I look?
430
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,700
Like you're missing something.
431
00:17:36,310 --> 00:17:39,580
Oh, dude, now we're never
gonna get to show the colonel
432
00:17:39,650 --> 00:17:42,590
that you deserve to
stay in the Army.
433
00:17:42,690 --> 00:17:44,120
I want you to
have the mini fridge.
434
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,860
Oh, really?
435
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:48,330
Mm-hmm.
436
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,830
Okay.
437
00:17:49,870 --> 00:17:53,570
Why don't we both
keep the mini fridge?
438
00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:01,520
Hey. You know what they say,
if you're gonna fight a Nazi,
439
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,700
you gotta do it in
a World War II inspired uniform.
440
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,430
You guys look like
you've fought a Nazi.
441
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,800
-What happened?
-Oh, my gosh.
442
00:18:06,830 --> 00:18:09,240
We were fighting over
who could carry the uniform.
443
00:18:09,310 --> 00:18:10,780
-And you won. Wow.
-Yes.
444
00:18:10,810 --> 00:18:12,850
You guys are even more
resourceful than I thought.
445
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,250
I totally underestimated you.
446
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,060
Nice job. Now, I gotta go.
447
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,890
-I gotta go fight a Nazi.
-Fun.
448
00:18:36,190 --> 00:18:39,470
-Where is that Nazi bastard?
-My body feels amazing.
449
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,740
-I know. Pure electricity?
-Tingling with...
450
00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:44,210
'Cause you're about to go
toe-to-toe with evil?
451
00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:45,550
-Exactly.
-Yeah, that's how I feel
452
00:18:45,610 --> 00:18:48,050
every day.
Helmut von Furstenberg,
453
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,920
show your face.
454
00:18:50,020 --> 00:18:53,700
Oh, right! WW2 was like
a thousand years ago.
455
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,630
Ah-ha!
456
00:18:56,830 --> 00:18:58,710
I peed on your Nazi stuff.
457
00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:00,210
-Oh!
-You did what?
458
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:01,480
-What?
-Did you wipe?
459
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:03,950
-What?!
-He's a literal Nazi. Judge him.
460
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:06,120
I think I've never been
prouder of you than right now.
461
00:19:06,190 --> 00:19:07,760
-Okay, let's focus.
-Okay. You know what?
462
00:19:07,790 --> 00:19:10,530
World's been waiting
80 years for this, pal.
463
00:19:17,310 --> 00:19:19,350
-Hm.
-Sorry, what's happening?
464
00:19:19,410 --> 00:19:20,880
He's having a heart attack.
465
00:19:20,950 --> 00:19:22,390
-Right.
-We should save him.
466
00:19:22,450 --> 00:19:24,120
Do we save him?
I mean, he was a Nazi.
467
00:19:24,190 --> 00:19:26,390
If anything, we do
Maggie's pee thing.
468
00:19:26,430 --> 00:19:27,900
-That is not my thing.
-Yeah. it is.
469
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,100
Why don't you just say now?
It's definitely your thing.
470
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,600
Listen, Maggie's right.
471
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,210
He's our enemy
until he's wounded.
472
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,210
Now he's wounded,
we gotta save his life.
473
00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:44,400
Oh.
474
00:19:44,460 --> 00:19:45,630
What do you want me to do?
He's old.
475
00:19:45,670 --> 00:19:47,240
-He's got Cheetos for ribs.
-Yeah...
476
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,110
Oh, I think
you should stop, colonel.
477
00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:51,840
-Yeah, no, I think you're right.
-You're making him more dead.
478
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,150
He... My hands are wet.
479
00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:57,790
Can you see if there's any Nazi
paper towels or handkerchiefs?
480
00:19:57,860 --> 00:20:00,090
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
481
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:06,470
Sorry you didn't get to,
uh, punch a Nazi.
482
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:08,650
Well, I got to cave his chest
in, which is pretty cool.
483
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,750
- Nah.
- Oh, I love that.
484
00:20:10,780 --> 00:20:13,450
Thank you. A racist dead man
gave it to me.
485
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,460
-Oh!
-Uh, I don't think we should be
486
00:20:16,490 --> 00:20:18,300
stealing items from crime...
487
00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:22,670
Ooh-hoo-hoo. God, I love you.
That's fantastic.
488
00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:25,140
I am still waiting for you
to say that to my face.
489
00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:26,580
-Okay. Me, me, me.
-You know that, right?
490
00:20:26,650 --> 00:20:28,850
I told you I was leaving
with something.
491
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,120
-You did say that.
-Am I...
492
00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:32,630
-Okay.
-Wow.
493
00:20:39,710 --> 00:20:42,210
-Colonel. You wanted to see me?
-Hey!
494
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,590
Look at you. Well, well, well.
495
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:47,790
-You combed your hair.
-Yes, I did.
496
00:20:47,820 --> 00:20:51,670
And you got your jacket ironed
and it zipped up.
497
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:54,370
You took a couple steps
in my direction.
498
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,510
-I finally get it, Big C.
-You do?
499
00:20:56,540 --> 00:20:57,910
All these things
you've been teaching me.
500
00:20:57,980 --> 00:21:00,280
-Good.
-Stealing tanks...
501
00:21:00,350 --> 00:21:01,980
Punching old Germans,
prostitution.
502
00:21:02,020 --> 00:21:04,260
Never dating 'em. I don't know
what your deal is.
503
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:05,830
And that's what it means
to be a soldier, right?
504
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,000
-Shh!
-Right?
505
00:21:07,060 --> 00:21:08,530
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
506
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:09,500
-That's...
-Old school.
507
00:21:09,570 --> 00:21:10,740
It's old school, but it's not...
508
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,210
You can't tell
anybody about that.
509
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,470
Besides the people
that already know
510
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:14,540
that are involved with us.
511
00:21:14,610 --> 00:21:15,880
-We can't.
-Yeah, I know.
512
00:21:15,910 --> 00:21:17,620
So you can't tell family
members, friends.
513
00:21:17,650 --> 00:21:18,920
Nobody can know about this.
514
00:21:18,950 --> 00:21:20,120
Not gonna tell anyone.
515
00:21:20,190 --> 00:21:21,920
Okay.
516
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,730
-Very good, soldier.
-Yup.
517
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,900
The hair's still not in
regulation yet, but it's good.
518
00:21:25,970 --> 00:21:26,970
-I'm glad you...
-Yeah.
519
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,440
Uh, I do need to get my mom
520
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:30,440
to take down a podcast, bye.
521
00:21:31,510 --> 00:21:35,990
W-wait, what?
Your mom has a podcast?
522
00:21:36,050 --> 00:21:38,320
It's going so well.
40297
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