All language subtitles for Ghosts.2021.S04E10.The.Not-So-Silent.Partner.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-FLUX_track4_[eng]

Oh. Bodices and Barons
is starting.

Ooh. I've never seen
Baron von Schtubert

in such a fancy cravat.

Is that a cravat
or is that an ascot?

It's a jabot.

(Hetty scoffs)

I can't expect those

of your social stature
to understand

the sartorial preferences
of the very rich.

You rich but not exactly
Sweyn Forkbeard.

(sighs)

He king of Norway
who once got fork stuck in beard

but own it
with clever nickname.

Well, Thorfinn,
I don't like to brag,

but it is rumored that the
Woodstones are actually related

to the British royal family.

Whoa. We are?

Mm-hmm, the story goes that my
grandfather Bernard Woodstone

wooed a cousin of the monarch
and brought her back to America.

So I'm a royal?
(chuckles)

This is just like
one of those movies

where a regular girl
becomes a princess.

I was never a princess,

but I was briefly
the tenth wife to a sheik.

I don't have royal
ancestry, per se,

but my Uncle Sal owned a
Burger King and a Dairy Queen.

Also a Subway, but that's
not really relevant here.

You know, we actually
could confirm it.

They have these

ancestry websites now

where you can track
your family tree.

Samantha, I think
that would be wonderful.
FLOWER: Shh!

The Baron and Lady Eliza
are about to do it.

Of course
you commoners

are enthused about
something so base. (gasps)

My God, she ripped
his jabot right off.

♪ ♪

So, we're getting pretty close
with the restaurant.

Are we sure we
need that table

in the middle of
the dining room

that no one is
allowed to sit at?

The ghost table?
Uh, yes, Mark.

Yeah, that's a nonnegotiable
from our investor.

He wants it open

in case he ever drops by.
MAN: Hey.

I have an Amazon Prime package
for Woodstone B and B.

Thank you.

This must be
the new tile samples.

Ooh, those arrived
quickly.

And if they're not
to my liking,

I will dispatch them
with similar haste.

Maybe 12th time's the charm.

I'm pulling for you guys.
It's been a journey.

It has.
Thank you for your support.

(sighs):
Okay.

This is it. This is the one.

I like it.
I'm good with anything

that doesn't have me
look at more tiles.

Eh, it's gonna be
a "no" for me.

That particular shade
of gray reminds me

of Benjamin Franklin's
dead tooth.

And while I know that's not
a problem for everyone,

I can't get past it.

So, we did it?

Uh, actually, I just sent
a picture to our investor,

and he doesn't like them.

Sorry, Mark.

MARK: This is ridiculous.
Decisions are piling up.

I want to talk to this guy.

Uh, the thing is,
the investor's very private.

Uh, he's not a big talker.

God, I wish
that were true.

MARK: That's not gonna
work for me anymore.

Either I meet the investor
or I'm out.

But he's pretty busy.

I don't care. Get him here
or find a new partner.

Okay, Mark has
never been hotter.

And that bar was high to
begin with. (chuckles)

FLOWER:
Hey, what's going on, guys?

Sam just received an email
from the ancestry computer site.

We're about to find out
if I am indeed royalty.

This could literally be
my coronation.

Okay, I have a lot going on
today, so let's just do this.

Don't worry, everyone.

No matter what the results are,
nothing will change.

I have always been, and will
continue to be, superior to you.

You may be royal, but I was
voted prom king as a junior.

It was unprecedented.

Kind of feels like
you're grasping.

Whatever. You probably
went to prom by yourself.

I was a student chaperone,

so technically
I went with everyone.

So you went to prom
with multiple partners

but you still won't
sleep with me and Thor?

Ooh, that stings.

Okay, let me see.

There is your grandfather
Bernard and his wife Mary.

That's the one
you said was royal, right?

Indeed.
All right.

They have some birth records
for her. Let me click.

I'm not saying
everyone should curtsy,

but if my grandeur moves you,
don't fight the instinct.

Okay.
SAMANTHA:
Huh.

It says here she was born
Mary Shaughnessy...

What?

...in County Cork, Ireland.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. (gasps)
Hetty's Irish.

No...!

JAY:
What if we kill the investor?

We tell Mark that
the investor was heli-skiing

in British Columbia
and his chopper went down.

He came up with that
way too easily.

This man has plans for someone,
and I, for one, respect it.

You will not kill
the investor.

The investor is
my representative,

my voice in
this venture.

Isaac, we'll listen to you.
You can trust us.

You don't need a representative.
(Isaac scoffs)

Where have I heard that before?

Oh, that's right,
King George III.

Isaac complain about monarchy.
Must be day ending in "Y."

This is going nowhere.
ISAAC:
Samantha, don't try me.

I will pull my funds.

And only I know the password
to the account-- and Trevor,

who I had to loop in because
he can touch buttons!

Oh, you know, Mark doesn't know
what the investor looks like.

Maybe you can get someone
to pretend to be them.

Alberta's suggesting
we get someone

to pretend to be
the investor

and introduce them to Mark.

Seriously?

Who would we even get?

I don't know, an actor?
A TaskRabbit?

Maybe get one of the
Hudson Valley Players.

Many of them are actors
and TaskRabbits.

No, Mark's a fellow player.
He knows all of them.

What about Momoa?
He's between projects

and looking for new challenges,
according to People magazine.

JAY:
What about the
guy who played

Pete in Dumb Deaths?
He was an actor.

He's in England.

I saw on Instagram
he booked the lead in Dr. Hoo.

Whoa! That's incredible.

Oh, sorry, "Hoo," H-O-O.

It's a Web series about
an owl that teaches kids math.

Either way, he's not available.

You can't just get
any old actor.

You need someone who is
willing to con your friend.

THORFINN:
What about lady

who pretend to be
your cousin?

The one who try
to steal your house.

She's fun.

The ghosts are pitching Kelsey.

The scammer
who our shady lawyer hired

to con us out of the mansion?

On the upside,
she might actually do it,

and she owes us
for not turning her in.

Why didn't you turn her in?

She was sort of my cousin
for a minute.

No, baby,
that was the scam.

I don't have a lot of family.

(whispering):
I think we sometimes forget

that Samantha once hit
her head really hard.

Look, it's either this
or we tell Mark the truth.

That we made up an investor

because we borrowed money
from a ghost.

But Kelsey?

Are we really that desperate?

SAMANTHA:
Kelsey, hey.
Hey.

Come on in.

Oh, did you hurt yourself?

Oh, this? No.

I just can't be photographed
outside without it

for the next 90 days.

She's a pro.
I think this is gonna work.

Do either of you
work for State Farm?

If you do, you
have to tell me.

Call me crazy,
I like her.

So, what's the play here? What
are we doing to this Mark guy?

Is it a sting? A shakedown?
No. No.

A classic Nashville Hustle?
Don't know what that is.

(laughs) I dated the guy
who came up with that.

Ironically, invented
in Chattanooga.

All you need to know is
we made up a fake investor

and now Mark wants
to meet them,

so that's who
you're pretending to be.

Look, I feel bad for the way
things went down last time

with the whole "me trying
to steal your house" thing.

Wow, you need a big truck
to steal a house.

So I'm gonna
help you out,

but you're gonna
have to sweeten the pot.

How about a thousand dollars?

(sighs):
Okay.

Uh, I've got...

seven dollars and

whatever's left on this
Chipotle gift card.

Deal!

I died before
the Constitutional Convention,

but I am glad to be here

to witness
these historic negotiations.

KELSEY:
So, yeah, I guess, bottom line:

going to space
is kind of boring.
Really?

I think it would be incredible.

I mean, we hit a duck
on the way up.

That was kind of exciting.

I hit a turkey in a
carriage once. (laughs)

But we were going so slowly
the turkey barely noticed.

(sighs) Not everything
needs to be a story.

All right.

Mark, if you have
any other questions

about Andrea's business
or biography,

it's all on that website
I sent you.

Jay stayed up all night
creating fake websites

for "Andrea" and her companies.

Yeah, I didn't get
a chance to look.

Well, I can resend you the link.

I mean, it's pretty extensive.

Someone obviously put
a lot of work into it.

Well, I'm just glad we
finally got to meet.

Although it's weird.

I could have
sworn Jay and Sam

always referred
to you as a "he."

Maybe you just heard
"rich investor"

and you assumed it was a man.

Oh, they're about to gaslight
the hell out of Mark.

It's called
"internalized misogyny."

I'm so sorry.

It's okay, Mark.
We all have work to do.

I'm a huge proponent
of equal rights,

which is why I slept with
every member of Fleetwood Mac.

Should we get
down to business?

Mark, you said
you wanted to talk

to Andrea about streamlining
the decision-making process.

Yeah, the restaurant's
gonna open soon,

and we're starting
to get behind.

We can't keep
putting off decisions.

Like with the tiles,
you've been very particular.

Because they've
particularly sucked.

KELSEY:
You know what?
You're right.

I have been micromanaging,

and that is not
how I like to run a company.

You know, I think
there's a page on her website

that explains
her management style.

Why don't I pull it up
and we can look at it together?

Then it's settled.
(chuckles)

Andrea will be more sensitive
to our schedule.

Uh, speaking of which,

I think you said
you had a plane to catch.

Right. I'm gonna go visit
one of my many properties.

I have homes
in Monte Carlo, Fiji...

No way.
I just got back from Fiji.

Stayed at the
Four Seasons,

courtesy of
Sam and Jay's new roof.

And our fountain. (chuckles)

We basically just send
all our money straight to Mark.

You know what?

Actually, while I'm here,

I might as well go
check out the restaurant.

But your plane.
Remember, Andrea, your plane?

Well, you know, the best part
about having your own plane is

you get to decide
when it leaves.

(chuckles weakly)
MARK:
Great.

Let me show
you the way.

(quietly):
Kelsey, what are you doing?

The longer you stay here, the
more likely it is we get caught.

Sam, how weird would it be

if I didn't want
to see the restaurant?

I know what I'm doing.

You can trust me.
I'm a con woman.

Hmm. Don't love
the sound of that.

I mean, it just doesn't even
make any sense. (stammers)

Me? Irish?

Can you see it?

A flaming redhead with
alabaster skin being Irish?

Nope, doesn't add up.
How do we even know

that this ancestry Web
thing is even correct?

Internet not always true.

Remember we take Sex and City
quiz and it say I am Miranda

when we all know
Thor total Samantha.

Hetty, this is no big deal.
Being Irish is awesome.

(scoffing)
It's a proud culture
with rich traditions.

This prejudice is just
a product of your time.

It's like Thor hating Danes
and Trevor hating Dartmouth.

Someone talking about

the most expensive ski school
in the country?

No, Peter!
I simply cannot accept it.

Th-There just must be
some mistake.

I mean, if you really
wanted an answer,

you could have Sam
send in a DNA sample.

You would have a definitive
answer in about a week.

Man, the Internet is amazing.
Literally no downside.

Well, then I shall
speak with Samantha.

Or you don't find
out for sure.

At least now you have hope
that there is some mistake.

No, if there's a chance that I
can find out that I'm not Irish,

I must take it.

Wait! (sighs)

No need to test DNA,
for Thor already know results.

Your blood run green.

What are you saying?

As ghost,
Thor watch Woodstones for years.

I hear Mary speak about
growing up in Ireland.

Was very shameful secret

she and Bernard decide
to keep from children,

but Thor hear everything.

You've known this whole time
and you've kept this from me?

Did you two know about this?

If it makes you
feel any better,

I've always loved
St. Patrick's Day.

It's one of the top three
drunk girl holidays,

along with Halloween
and Purim.

THORFINN:
Thor not tell anyone
till just now.

Thor sorry, Hetty.

I can't believe you.

Hetty, please.

And what am I
supposed to do now?

I can't even drown
my sorrows in whiskey.

And yes, that is an instinct
I suddenly have.

Do you have any other secrets
about anyone else

you've been
holding on to?

Yes.

Okay.

The idea was to complement
the rustic with the modern,

in much the same way the food
is a blend of old and new.

It's really all about
supporting Jay's vision.

Who's Jay?

Me. I'm Jay.

I was also
wondering that.

Andrea deals
mostly with me, not Jay.

Do you have a problem
with that, Mark?

Two women working together?

I-I didn't say anything.

Your silence is complicity.

ALBERTA:
What are they doing

to this man?

You know, Mark, I have
a place in Lake Como

that could use
your attention.

Really? Wow.

Yeah, I mean, that
would be incredible.

I'm sorry, is she offering Mark
a fake job?

You got to get Kelsey
out of here, Sam.

She's a loose cannon.

(sighs) We had a loose cannon
at the Battle of White Plains.

It backfired and took out three
of our horses. (inhales sharply)

Tragedy,
but we ate well that night.

Jay, didn't you want
to show Mark

something with
the walk-in freezer?

Right.
The walk-in freezer.

Yeah, Mark,
you got a sec?

Uh, yeah, sure.
Be right back.

Hmm, "be right back."
That's what I said to Dusty

after I tied him to the post
next to that loose cannon.

You have to leave.
What?

You're offering Mark work
on a villa that doesn't exist.

Whatever. Things happen.

My villa was destroyed
in a pasta spill.

Who knows?
That's tomorrow's problem.

David Crosby's favorite shirt
was destroyed in a pasta spill.

Look, we really appreciate
you helping us out,

but I don't think
we want to continue

to press our luck with Mark.

Okay, you're right. I'm sorry.

I start improvising, and
I just get lost in the story.

But I don't want
to blow up your spot.

(gasps) Spot was
Dusty's best friend.

Should I say goodbye to Mark?
Just go.

All right, I'll take off.
Ooh, that Chipotle card

is burning a hole
in my pocket anyway.

She's been standing there
for ten minutes.

What is she waiting for?

Maybe she forget why
she standing there.

Happens to Flower
all the time.

Oh, hey, guys. Mark and I were
just out for a little stroll,

unbeknownst to him.
(chuckles)

Hey, Andrea.

Thought you had
to take off.

Still waiting
on my limo, unfortunately.

I almost rode
in a limo once.

Caesars Palace was
trying to butter up

a group of us
travel agents,

but Pete Martino
is not for sale.

I just hope
I don't miss this meeting.

It's a big
investment opportunity.

I can't really talk about it.

It's okay. No problem.

It's this start-up.
This big AI/VR play.

I think it's gonna be huge.

Actually, they're looking
for a couple more investors.

Really?

Oh, I see what's
going on here.

Thor also understand,
but maybe you explain to Pete.

Why am I even telling you
about this?

You wouldn't be interested.

Well, I don't know.

Could you tell me more about it?

There's not even a point.

I mean, they're closing
the round today.

You'd have to literally
write me a check right now.

(gasps) This is a
Nashville Hustle.

Which really should've been
called a Chattanooga Cheat,

but that's a debate I've
already had too many times.

Sam, we got big problem.
What is it?

Your con woman just conned your
contractor out of 15 grand.

Kelsey.
ALBERTA:
I'm just saying,

Momoa would never.

I can't believe
Kelsey would con Mark.

Really? She did arrive
wearing a neck brace,

after she tried to steal your
home during her previous visit.

It feels in character.

You have to tell Mark
that he's the mark.

(laughs) Get it?

But also, do
you understand?

Because this is a very
serious situation.

Okay, but then he'll find out
that Kelsey's a con woman

and we've been
lying to him for months.

There he is!

Oh, do something, Sam.

He needs that money for
his muffin business.

Uh, Mark, can I
have a word?

What's up?

Did you just give Andrea some
money to invest in something?

Yeah, I wrote her a check.
Did she tell you?

Are you guys
getting in on it, too?

Listen, you need to cancel
that check immediately.

Why?

Poor Samantha.

How do they get themselves
in these predicaments?

You made them do this.
This is all your fault.

Asked and answered.

Andrea's a con woman.
Her real name is Kelsey.

I know because I hired her.

What are you talking about?
Hired her for what?

I needed someone to pretend
to be the investor.

I'm confused.
Why would you do that?

Uh, that's a good question.

Just run. Leave town.
Change your name.

Do you think my real name's
Alberta? (scoffs)

What?
Nothing.

JAY:
Hey, guys.

Does Jay know
about this?

Know about what?

That Andrea is a con
woman that Sam hired

to pretend to be
the investor.

This going to destroy Jay
and Mark friendship. (sighs)

MARK:
Well, Jay?

Jay doesn't know
anything about it.

I did it all on my own.

Ooh, ooh, say, "In fact,
I did it because of Jay."

In fact, I did it
because of Jay.

Where are you going with this?
Wherever the improv takes us.

Dead Ringers,
our time is now.

That's the all-ghost improv
team I keep trying to start.

I can explain.

Maybe someone Jay didn't want
to invest invested,

and Sam hid it from Jay.

Ooh, like a mob boss.
Or a bear.

Or going off of
that, Jay's dad.

The real investor is Jay's dad.

What?
I don't understand.

Jay was too proud
to take money from his father.

Jay was too proud to take money
from his father,

so Mahesh and I came up with

this madcap scheme.
Hold up.

The guy we named the
restaurant after?

Wait a minute.
Did-did you incept me

into naming my restaurant
after my own father?

Jay getting on board
with improv.

We're zipping, she's zapping,
he's zopping. This is fun.

This is messed up, Sam.

I can't believe both my wife
and my father betrayed me.

MARK:
I put my heart and soul
into this restaurant

because I
believed in Jay.

And his vision.

Not some guy who thinks
he should be listened to

just because he
put in some money.

SAMANTHA:
I'm sure we can figure out

a way to all work together.

I think it might
be Mahesh or me.

(stammers)

And scene! Okay.

Normally, I'd suggest
we end things on a joke,

but maybe we just go out
on the emotion this time.

Yeah, this feels right.

THORFINN:
There you are.

Thor feel bad about
the way we leave things

but wanted to give time

for famous Irish temper
to cool down.

All those years when I would
mock the Irish for their sloth

or suggest that their pockets
were lined with corned beef,

you were quietly
mocking me.

No, Thor wasn't.

Then why?
Why would you keep this from me?

Remember when you were child

and you thought that I was
imaginary friend Gordon?

Yes.

Gordon always
look after Hetty.

Always protect her.

And even after
you grow older

and no longer see
imaginary friend,

I still want to protect you.

You knew learning this
would hurt me,

and you didn't want
to see me get hurt.

Yeah.
(sighs)

Gordon love Hetty.

Aw, thank you.

Now you say it back.

Hetty love Gordon.

(sighs)

(sighs) You know, Thor been
around a thousand years

and seen many groups
of people

hate other groups of people
for silly reasons.

But what Thor learn is that
we are all basically the same.

Except for Danes, who brains are
rumored to be mostly cabbage.

ISAAC:
Samantha,

do, uh, you and Jay
have a minute?

Isaac just came in.
He wants to talk.

I'm listening.

Or, you know, doing that thing
where Sam listens

and then conveys to me and--
J-Just go.

I've been thinking about
my role in the restaurant,

and I believe that the most
helpful thing I can do right now

is step back.

What do you mean?

I'm saying,
you can keep my money,

but I'm no longer gonna be
holding up the works.

Mark was right.

This restaurant should
live and die with Jay's vision.

Even if that vision includes
tiles that would look

more at home in a Canadian
high school locker room.

We're watching Degrassi.

They put milk in bags. (sighs)

Strange culture, Canada.

Jay, Isaac's saying that
we can keep the money,

no strings attached, because he
also believes in your vision.

Really? Thank you, Isaac.

Although I would like there
to still be a ghost table.

That's not for me.
That's for my friends.

Oh, that's unusually nice.

Well, just so
you know, Isaac,

we couldn't have gotten
this far without you.

JAY:
We owe you, buddy.
And you know what?

The signers of the Declaration
of Independence were overrated,

and crapping yourself
is a fine way to go.

You're too kind, Jay.
All right.

Well, I guess I should call Mark
and tell him we worked it out

and I told my dad to take a hike

and gave you a piece of my mind
for going behind my back.

Jay.

Seriously, it wasn't cool
what you did.

If I had any self-respect,

you'd be sleeping
on the couch tonight.

My man is improv-ing
his tush off.

He would make a
great Dead Ringer

if he would just die
already. (chuckles)

In a long, long time.

(whispers):
I hope it's soon.

So, as you can see,
the Irish actually have

a pretty neat
history and culture.

We've covered
James Joyce,

Oscar Wilde,
Bram Stoker.

We went down a pretty deep
Colin Farrell rabbit hole.

I'd like to go deeper.

Okay, well, that brings us

to our musical portion
of the presentation.

Now, people love to
sing the praises of U2

and The Pogues and
Sinéad O'Connor,

but they don't hold a candle
to my personal favorite.

Hit it, Trevor.

(straining grunt)

("Orinoco Flow" by Enya
playing over speakers)

♪ Sail away, sail away,
sail away... ♪

What is this, Peter?

This is Enya.

It came out a couple years
after my death, actually,

but apparently,
the '80s got even more rad.

Song remind Thor
of abandonment trauma.

That what shipmates do.

♪ Sail away, sail away,
sail away. ♪

Wait for the key change.

(laughs) There it is.

Mm, this is lovely.

But maybe we go back
to Colin Farrell.

Captioning sponsored by
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and TOYOTA.

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org