All language subtitles for Deadbeat.S03E05.Weeknight.at.Skillitz.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.x264-Cinefeel_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:09,270 This is make or break, folks. 2 00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:12,447 Danny Poker's searching Melman's face 3 00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:14,275 for any clue he can find. 4 00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:16,364 He ain't got shit. 5 00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:18,888 Just a pair of threes. 6 00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,411 Ghost just gave him the cards again. 7 00:00:20,455 --> 00:00:22,196 -Oh. Mm-hmm. -There's a ghost on screen? 8 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:23,327 -Right now? -Yeah. 9 00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:25,677 -...the entire pot. -All in. 10 00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:28,376 Danny calls the bluff! How does he al... 11 00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:29,638 Right there. Right there! Look! 12 00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:31,205 Oh, yeah. Okay, I think I see it. 13 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:32,684 It's like a silhouette of, like, an old woman. 14 00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:34,643 No, no, a very large man. 15 00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:36,166 -Could've been a bodybuilder. -Okay, no, I don't see it. 16 00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,864 Oh, my God. Clyde, do you know what this means? 17 00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:40,823 You can capture a ghost on film, but nobody can see him. 18 00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,912 It means somebody else out there can see ghosts. 19 00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:44,435 It's not just me. I'm not alone in the world. 20 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,350 Oh, right! 21 00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:49,527 Holy shit, and that person is Danny Pokertini! 22 00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:50,920 -This guy? -Holy shit. 23 00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:52,748 -This guy's a genius. -He seems to be 24 00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:54,141 -fairly intelligent. -Let me-- no, no, no. 25 00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:55,403 You don't even know. 26 00:00:55,446 --> 00:00:56,926 I wanna know everything about this guy. 27 00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,275 -Okay. -Who is he? 28 00:00:58,319 --> 00:00:59,711 -His Insta is... -Where does he come from? 29 00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:00,712 right here. Look at this. Look at this! 30 00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:01,844 -Look. Ladies. -Yeah. 31 00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:03,193 -Titties. -Yeah. 32 00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:05,543 -Guns, titties. -Titties. 33 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:07,458 Boats, titties. 34 00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:10,026 -Drones, titties. -Titties. 35 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,549 -Look at that double blowjob. -Holy shit. 36 00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:12,724 -Look at that. -God. 37 00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,248 Titties, titties. 38 00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:16,119 Holy fucking shit! 39 00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:18,339 -His cat is so adorable! -So goddamn cute. 40 00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,210 -Holy shit! -Okay, I'm in. I love this guy. 41 00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:21,690 What-- how do we meet him? He seems like he's 42 00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:22,908 -a fucking rock star. -How do we meet him? 43 00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:24,214 Go back to the top. 44 00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:26,216 Last post. Boom! 45 00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:28,523 -[chuckles] -Club Le Douche. 46 00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:30,568 Tonight, Danny Poker in attendance. 47 00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:33,136 DJ Skillitz putting the dubsmash in your eardrums. 48 00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,833 -Is his dick hanging out? -No, no, no. 49 00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:36,748 That's just his signature. Zoom in. 50 00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:43,494 That's the smartest thing I've ever seen. 51 00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:46,367 -The man's a genius. -A ghost-talking genius. 52 00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:49,935 -Like me. -Like you. 53 00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:52,503 ♪ 54 00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,232 [sniffs] Are we a little bit early? 55 00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:26,885 'Cause I feel like I'm still smelling lunch specials. 56 00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:28,713 Dude, you're trying to get up in the club 57 00:02:28,757 --> 00:02:31,325 on a Tuesday with two guys and no girls? 58 00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:32,891 -Yeah. -You show up early. 59 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,982 Hello! No, I'm just pretending 60 00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:38,593 to talk to you on the phone 61 00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:41,335 because I don't wanna look like a crazy person. 62 00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:42,858 Oh, my gosh. That's hysterical. 63 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:47,036 [guffawing] 64 00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:48,516 Okay, so he didn't see me yet. 65 00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:50,213 -Oh, shit. -I'm gonna have to pretend 66 00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,650 that I'm gonna have to call you back, okay? 67 00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:55,479 Pac! Pac, is that you? 68 00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,220 Hey! Oh, my gosh! 69 00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:58,482 -Hey. -Hi! 70 00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:00,702 -[grunts] -Hey! Hey. 71 00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:03,400 -How are you? Hey. -Hey. Hey! 72 00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:05,010 Gosh, I feel like I haven't seen you 73 00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,925 since our sweet mistake. 74 00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:08,753 Yeah, well, we only hung out the one time, 75 00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:10,494 so that would-- that would make sense. 76 00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:12,279 Did he tell you about our sweet mistake? 77 00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,063 I don't think so. 78 00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:16,370 Did I? No, I-- 79 00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,285 Then it's just our little secret, isn't it? 80 00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,374 Just you, me, 81 00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:21,636 -the bodies. -Shut up. 82 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:22,898 What bodies? 83 00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:24,116 Yeah, I would love to stand here 84 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,944 and talk with you all fucking day, 85 00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:27,729 -but we are running late, so... -Oh! I'll give you a ride. 86 00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,078 I've got the hearse. It's parked just around the-- 87 00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:30,471 No, no, that's cool. 88 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,516 We have transportation plans of our own. 89 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,083 Well, she might be able to help us get in the club. 90 00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:35,911 The club! I love the club. 91 00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:37,913 I've got my good bra in the hearse. 92 00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:39,741 -Let's party! -It's called "Le Douche." 93 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:41,569 -"Douche"? -No. You know what? It's fine. 94 00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:43,223 It's-- it's-- you can't because you just-- 95 00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:45,573 they have a-- there's a thing there. 96 00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:47,792 You just-- you can't. You just can't. 97 00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:49,620 -I'm sorry. -Sorry? 98 00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:51,622 Don't-- no, don't be sorry. It's fine. 99 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,276 I have-- you know what? I gotta take this call. 100 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,104 Hello, friend. 101 00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:56,497 I'll see you guys later. 102 00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,716 Yeah, no, it did not go well. 103 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,414 Well, I don't care if you don't wanna hear it. 104 00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,285 What is the point of having a fake conversation 105 00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:03,808 if I can't tell you whatever I want? 106 00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,332 What was going on there? 107 00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,159 We, uh-- 108 00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:08,596 we may have had sex. 109 00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:11,468 -Nice. -With four or five dead bodies. 110 00:04:11,512 --> 00:04:12,991 That explains the tension, man. 111 00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:14,428 I'm telling you, she was into you 112 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,038 and we are not even at the club yet. 113 00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:17,474 I've got a good feeling about tonight. 114 00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:18,823 God, I feel filthy. 115 00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:20,738 Ah, you always feel filthy to me. 116 00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:23,045 ♪ Maximum bass 117 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,572 ♪ Maximum bass 118 00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,446 ♪ Maximum bass ♪ 119 00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:36,493 I fucked that girl last night. 120 00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:38,103 That's rough. Look at them guys. 121 00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:40,671 Guys, wow. 122 00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:43,152 No way. You guys aren't coming in. 123 00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:44,893 What? What do you mean? We're the first ones here. 124 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:45,981 Yeah, and you showed up looking like 125 00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:47,504 Tron and fucking Dick Tracy. 126 00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:48,984 -Thank you. -What do you want me to do? 127 00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:51,116 -Gentlemen, step aside. -Hang on, I got this. 128 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,683 -[clears throat] -So, 129 00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,207 what's it gonna take, huh? A 10? A 12? 130 00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:56,774 Actually, I need some of that for drinks, though. 131 00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:58,341 -Uh, is there a minimum? -Guys, 132 00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,212 my boy Skillitz is performing tonight, okay? 133 00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:01,997 This shit's gonna be packed in like a high-end butt plug. 134 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,607 -Hey, Devin. Devin! -You and you 135 00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:05,217 -are not coming in. -Come on, man! 136 00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:07,394 -DJ Skillitz. -Yeah, DJ Skillitz... 137 00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:09,309 -You can hear me? -...performing in here tonight. 138 00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:11,006 There's no choads allowed, okay? 139 00:05:11,049 --> 00:05:12,529 Uh-uh. I need to take a piss. 140 00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:14,052 -I'll be right back. -You should probably 141 00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:15,837 -go hold his dick, right? -I do have to pee. 142 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,229 When I start thinking about it, it's like-- 143 00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:18,753 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 144 00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:20,624 You're the only asshole who can hear me. Why? 145 00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:22,539 I'm a medium, not an asshole, thank you very much. 146 00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:25,325 It's a power that still raises a lot of questions in me. 147 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,804 And tonight, I'm actually hoping to meet-- 148 00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:28,110 I don't care. As soon as you started talking, 149 00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:29,154 I realized that I don't care. 150 00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:31,896 Dude-bro, congratulations. 151 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,594 You get to help out DJ Skillitz right now. 152 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,813 Yeah, sounds great, except for I'm a little preoccupied 153 00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:38,033 with trying to figure out how to get to your show tonight. 154 00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,035 The show I won't be performing at because I'm dead? 155 00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:42,080 -Exactly. -If that's what you want, 156 00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,387 I got VIP passes back at my place. 157 00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,910 Yeah! Fuck yeah! Tradesies. 158 00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:47,564 I'm in! Okay, good. What do I have to do? 159 00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:50,524 I left a slightly embarrassing mess in my apartment 160 00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,003 and I need someone to clean it up 161 00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:53,614 before I don't show up tonight 162 00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:55,833 -and they come looking for me. -Left your porn out? 163 00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:57,095 Been there, done that. I lived 164 00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:58,662 in a massage parlor for six months, 165 00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:00,272 had no Wi-Fi. I found a crate full of magazines 166 00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:01,926 by the Dumpster one time, 167 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:04,364 brought it inside and whacked myself into oblivion. 168 00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,800 -Passed out on-- -Please don't tell me 169 00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,454 -this story. -Yeah, you're right. 170 00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:09,543 That's probably more of a friends and family story. 171 00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:11,675 Clyde, we got a case! 172 00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:14,025 ♪ Party 173 00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:16,071 ♪ Yeah, we be up in the club ♪ 174 00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,510 ♪ Yeah, we be up in the club ♪ 175 00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:25,428 ♪ Come on, yeah, oh ♪ 176 00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,918 Hey. 177 00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,355 It's, uh, not much of a mess, huh? 178 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,183 I don't beat off in the kitchen. 179 00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:42,924 No, oh, sure. Yeah, obviously. 180 00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,621 Neither do I. But you could if you wanted to. 181 00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,275 It's beautiful. Very spacious. 182 00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:47,798 You could lay out on the counter there. 183 00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:50,322 Oh, dude, he's got one of these things? 184 00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:52,673 Yo, this thing, like, balances itself for you. 185 00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:54,196 Ask him if I can try it. Do we have time to try it? 186 00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:55,937 No. Fucking come on. 187 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,982 No. Fucking come on. 188 00:06:58,026 --> 00:07:00,507 -Hey, we'll do it later. -Okay. 189 00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,117 Holy shit. 190 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,988 Quite the "pornucopia." 191 00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,383 "Asian Sluts Quarterly," 192 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,950 "Persian Carpet." 193 00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:11,343 Oh, fuck! The old "United States of Apparel" mailer. 194 00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:13,128 Oh, God, that takes me back. 195 00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:15,130 Hey, do we have to throw these out? Can I keep this? 196 00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:16,566 No, I'm not throwing it out! 197 00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:18,176 It's a collection. 198 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,569 He can look at it here. 199 00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,223 You gotta put it down. Put it down. 200 00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,659 Okay, so what do you think? 201 00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:24,618 Uh, under the closet, into the bed? 202 00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:26,184 -Where do you want this stuff? -That all can go 203 00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:27,969 -into the closet. -Okay. 204 00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:31,581 Oh, shit! 205 00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:33,540 And that can come out of the closet. 206 00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:40,503 What the holy fuck? 207 00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:41,896 See, that's the reaction. 208 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,114 That's the reaction everybody has 209 00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:44,768 -when you die jacking off. -Wait, this is 210 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,422 a jacking-off accident? This is a "jaccident"? 211 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,684 Look, it doesn't matter now. 212 00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,077 Let's just clean this place up 213 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,557 so this is not how I'm remembered. 214 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:51,993 And then we can all go about our business. 215 00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:53,298 You do you, I'll do me. 216 00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:55,431 This is a very, very different cleanup 217 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,606 than I was originally sold on. 218 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,086 Do you want those VIP passes? 219 00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,262 I mean, yeah, those would be nice. 220 00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,743 Then be a good little girl and do what daddy wants. 221 00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:03,787 Ew. 222 00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:04,919 How much better? 223 00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:06,529 What? 224 00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:08,531 How much better than a normal beat-off? Ask him. 225 00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,359 10 times, easy. 226 00:08:10,402 --> 00:08:12,361 I don't know, man. Let's just get this over with. 227 00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:13,667 No, no, no. Listen. 228 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,103 This guy had everything 229 00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:16,757 and he died with his dick in his hand. 230 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,541 It must feel fucking incredible. 231 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,369 Ask him. You gotta ask him, man. 232 00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:22,414 Think about all the things we could be missing out on. 233 00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:23,938 -Look at his dick. It's-- -All right, okay! 234 00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:25,417 Clyde, it's 10 times better, okay? 235 00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:27,115 -Would you just help me lift? -10 times?! 236 00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:28,638 10 fucking times? 237 00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:30,466 Think about how amazing a regular jerk-off feels. 238 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,772 I don't want to right now. I'm not in the mood. 239 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,687 And then times it by fucking 10! 240 00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,689 -Are you kidding me? -Good convo, Clyde. 241 00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,212 Okay, come here. 242 00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:38,996 Strictly from a time management perspective, 243 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,650 I could beat off 10 times less 244 00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:42,739 if I was getting 10 times more out of every session. 245 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,088 Oh, shit! 246 00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:46,351 Oh, shit! Oh, God! 247 00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:47,744 Clyde! [groans] 248 00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:49,529 -Oh, we're touching dicks. -Oh, shit. 249 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,269 Clyde, help me get his dick off my dick. 250 00:08:51,313 --> 00:08:53,184 -No, roll him off. Roll him off! -Come on! 251 00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:54,621 Ah, God! Oh, shit. 252 00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,318 -Oh. Oh, shit. -It's debatable 253 00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:57,972 -how worth it this would be. -[grunts] 254 00:08:58,015 --> 00:08:59,800 [groans, pants] 255 00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:02,019 -Oh, God! I gotta put him down. -Okay. 256 00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:03,325 Let's get him over to the toilet. 257 00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:04,544 -So gross! -Put him on the toilet. 258 00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:06,633 -Oh! -[grunting] 259 00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:07,895 God, he's heavy for a little guy. 260 00:09:07,938 --> 00:09:09,418 -[groans] -Okay. 261 00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:10,767 -Here we go. -[whimpers] 262 00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:13,030 We'll get some water. Come on, Clyde. 263 00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:15,424 [panting] Okay. We're cool! 264 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:17,557 Yo, what the hell is this? 265 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,210 This is as far as we take you, buddy. 266 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,256 Elvis fucking Presley died on the toilet, 267 00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,432 so this-- this is how you wanna be remembered. 268 00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:25,086 You know what I mean? 269 00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:27,262 I guess it is better than autoerotic asphyxiation. 270 00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:29,307 -Totally. -Passes are on the counter. 271 00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:31,701 Tell the fans that I love them. 272 00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:34,617 Skillitz! 273 00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,227 ♪ 274 00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:38,316 Ooh, ooh! Ah! 275 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,841 Oh. Wow, was that him leaving? 276 00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:42,277 -Yeah, that was him. -I felt that. 277 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,148 That was really easy, actually. 278 00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:46,063 You know that feeling when everything's just going right? 279 00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:47,978 -I do. -[knocking on door] 280 00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:49,458 -Come on in! It's open! -No! 281 00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:50,502 What? Shit! 282 00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:55,943 Hey, Skillz. 283 00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:57,379 It's Dilana Frank, 284 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,511 "Tumbling Stone" magazine. 285 00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:01,078 Shit. 286 00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:03,080 -What do we do? -What else? 287 00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:04,865 Hey-- hey, what's up, girl? 288 00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,823 -What? What is that? -It's my Skillitz voice. 289 00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,608 Do you wanna do the interview here 290 00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:11,045 or go get a bite to eat? 291 00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:13,003 -No. -No, I'd rather do it in here 292 00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:14,352 -in the shower. -Why?! 293 00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:15,832 'Cause I-- 'cause I'm so-- 294 00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,181 I'm so fucking dirty from dropping beats 295 00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:18,487 in my pants all day. 296 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:19,619 What the fuck? 297 00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:21,316 Dude, that is negative energy. 298 00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:23,231 You're making this worse. Don't add pressure. 299 00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:25,668 You mind if I ask who you've got in there with you? 300 00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,365 No doubt. It's my soap bitch. 301 00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:29,324 Got my soap bitch in here. He delivers me all my soaps. 302 00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:30,542 You know, them dope soaps. Go say hi. 303 00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,327 That's not even how he talks. 304 00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,894 Trust me. I've had Skillitz yapping in my ear all day. 305 00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:35,765 -I've got this voice down. -Seriously? 306 00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:37,419 Man, that's negative energy. You're fucking my shit up. 307 00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:39,247 -Tell her to go away. -I just invited her in. 308 00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:41,858 -That'll be fucking weird. -What the fuck is a soap bitch? 309 00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:46,907 Hey! How are you? 310 00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:49,997 I was just, uh, delivering some soaps. 311 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,694 Soaps? 312 00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:53,174 Right. 313 00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:55,176 Is that what they call it 314 00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:57,395 in the future? 315 00:10:57,439 --> 00:11:00,007 Look, um, I don't give a shit. 316 00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:02,487 I don't put the drug dealer in the interview, so... 317 00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:05,229 Fire away! Skillitz wants to talk. 318 00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:07,449 All right. You mind if I record? 319 00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:09,756 Do you mind if I remix it later? 320 00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:11,714 Shit. Remix! 321 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:14,108 Skillitz, Skillitz, Skillitz! 322 00:11:14,151 --> 00:11:16,371 -Panties drop. -I'm cool if you're cool. 323 00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,068 Oh, I'd say I'm pretty fucking cool. 324 00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,766 -I'm fucking Skillitz. -Yes, you are. 325 00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:21,202 You know, I just realized 326 00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:22,464 I forgot to give him a couple more soaps, 327 00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:25,467 -so if you'll excuse me. -Yeah. 328 00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,295 Hey, tone it down! 329 00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:28,775 Why are you in the shower? 330 00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,211 'Cause I wanted it to sound authentic. 331 00:11:30,254 --> 00:11:31,603 All right, I'm gonna dive right in. 332 00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:34,128 Uh, I got a couple of softballs here, 333 00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:36,608 but I think we both know my real questions 334 00:11:36,652 --> 00:11:39,611 are about this feud you have brewing with DeadR@t. 335 00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:41,744 A lot of people say it might not be real. 336 00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,137 -You sound crazy. -What? 337 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,834 Act like a real rock star. Play it cool. 338 00:11:44,878 --> 00:11:46,836 -Okay, chill. -Skillz? 339 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,273 -You there? -Yeah, girl. Still here. 340 00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:51,972 Can you say that last part one more again? 341 00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:54,365 Well, I was just saying it doesn't change the fact 342 00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:57,281 that DeadR@t called you a rip-off artist. 343 00:11:57,325 --> 00:11:59,370 -DeadR@t said that about me? -Yep. 344 00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,895 The rodent with the fucking X'd-out eyes? 345 00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:05,115 Is the sting from that insult still fresh? 346 00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:07,248 I fucking hate DeadR@t. 347 00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,553 That one song, I guess, 348 00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:09,859 was stuck in my head for six months 349 00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:11,469 when I worked at the massage parlor. 350 00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:12,775 Now he's talking shit about me? 351 00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,342 You worked at a massage parlor? 352 00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:16,823 DeadR@t is what Jude Law listens to on his period. 353 00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:19,086 You can quote me on that one. 354 00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:21,828 Yo, can I tweet that? 355 00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:25,788 Absolutely. He's a pussy! 356 00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:28,617 -[thuds] -Oh, he slipped! 357 00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,837 But, uh-- but I'm sure he'll be fine. 358 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,534 He just, uh-- he's just a little out of it. 359 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:34,144 We should probably reschedule now. 360 00:12:34,188 --> 00:12:36,581 Oh, my God! Are you okay? 361 00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:37,539 Skill? 362 00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:40,890 -One word. One word. -Skill? 363 00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,457 Skillitz for life! 364 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,198 Oh, look at that. He just passed out again. 365 00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:46,766 Uh, we'll definitely have to reschedule. 366 00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:48,419 He's fine, though. This happens sometimes. 367 00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:49,681 Oh, my God! 368 00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:51,031 Is there anything I can do? 369 00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:52,728 No, everything is fine. Thank you so much. 370 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,643 I will be in touch to reschedule. 371 00:12:54,686 --> 00:12:56,384 Okay, yeah, that sounds great. Thanks very much, now. 372 00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:58,865 And I'm assuming these passes on the counter are mine? 373 00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:00,214 Yep, that sounds great. Thank you. 374 00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:03,565 All right. Feel better. 375 00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,306 -Fucking weird. -What, uh-- 376 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,698 what passes are on the counter? 377 00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:08,700 Huh? Oh, fuck me. 378 00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:10,790 Shit! 379 00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:17,884 Shit. 380 00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:20,147 Yep, we gave her our passes. 381 00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:21,713 Well, shit. What are we gonna do? 382 00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:28,155 ♪ 383 00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:29,809 No. No. 384 00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,768 -No. No! -Yes. 385 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,552 ♪ 386 00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:36,337 Holy shit, I think this is working. 387 00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,165 "Weekend at Ernie's," baby. Foolproof. 388 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:40,297 Yeah! Except I think you mean "Bernie's." 389 00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:41,995 No, you're thinking of "Sesame Street." 390 00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:44,432 -No, that's Ernie. -Mm-mm. Bernie and Ernie. 391 00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:45,999 I think you got your wires crossed a little bit, bud-- 392 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:48,349 -Oh, shit. Oh, shit! -Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pac! 393 00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:49,741 Oh. Cop. 394 00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,134 -Where? -There's a cop coming over here. 395 00:13:51,178 --> 00:13:52,744 -He's walking towards us. -Oh, shit! 396 00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,224 Okay, quick. If I yell Mayday, just drop the body 397 00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,443 -and run, okay? -No, no, no! I'm not fast. 398 00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:56,879 Well, then be wily. 399 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:57,924 I don't even know what that word is! 400 00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:59,751 [horn honks] 401 00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:01,710 Hey! Is that DJ Skillitz? 402 00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:05,235 -[screams] -Oh, my fucking God! 403 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:06,671 Hey, you guys wanna party with us? 404 00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:09,500 ♪ 405 00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:10,937 Yes, we do. Yeah. 406 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,112 Wanna get that door? 407 00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:15,245 ♪ 408 00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:16,856 [gasps] Let's get a picture, you guys! 409 00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:18,074 -[gasps] -Ready? 410 00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:21,251 -Girls' night! -[laughs] 411 00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,558 Ugh, God, I look so bad. 412 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:26,343 You always look so sexy. Okay, one more. 413 00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:28,084 Is this real champagne? 414 00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:29,651 Pac, this is real champagne! 415 00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:31,348 -What's fake champagne? -Oh, man. 416 00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:32,567 -[horn honks] -Oh, shit! Oh! 417 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:34,090 [tires screech] 418 00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,831 Oh, my God! 419 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,746 You're so forward. [gasps] 420 00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:43,317 Mm, you taste like a dead fucking dog. 421 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,232 -I love it. -Sabrina, you should totally 422 00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:47,190 -take him to the hot tub. -[screams] 423 00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:48,931 -Let's do it! -That's a bad idea. 424 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:51,107 I think-- Sabrina, that's a bad idea. 425 00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:52,717 Okay, if you're gonna do it, just be careful! 426 00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:55,503 -He's fragile! -So how do you know Skillitz? 427 00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,287 Uh, how do we know him? 428 00:14:57,331 --> 00:14:59,289 Well, we're, uh-- we've always sort of just 429 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,378 -been part of his entourage. -That's right, yeah. 430 00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:03,728 Sort of like that HBO show "Ballers." 431 00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:05,600 -"Ballers"! -[laughing] 432 00:15:05,643 --> 00:15:07,732 ♪ 433 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,872 Okay. Clyde, let's do it. 434 00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,180 -Pac! Pac! -Oh, shit. 435 00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:21,703 -Hi, hi! -Hi, hi. 436 00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,618 -Oh, God, what a surprise. -Well, not really, 437 00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,141 'cause I told you we were gonna be here, but... 438 00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:26,490 Oh, my gosh! What's up? Where you coming from? 439 00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,057 Who are those girls? 440 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,319 Not that it's any of your fucking business, 441 00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:31,365 but those girls-- very attractive, 442 00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:32,757 very frisky girls-- were helping us 443 00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:33,889 transport a very important friend of ours. 444 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,543 Fuck, they drove off! 445 00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,066 Who? Oh! 446 00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,807 -I remember who. -Hey, wait! Wait a sec! 447 00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:42,245 Are you still not there? 448 00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:44,030 I told you I'm not fast enough! [pants] 449 00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:46,380 Wait! Hey! 450 00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:47,947 -Hey, come on! -I'm trying. 451 00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:49,426 It's-- it's actually really slow. 452 00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,298 -You're better off running. -[tires screech] 453 00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:52,995 Whoa! 454 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,866 ♪ 455 00:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,959 Rude! 456 00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:01,786 Skillitz shit the hot tub. 457 00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,223 We're not cleaning that up! 458 00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:05,094 His drunk ass is gonna cost us our deposit. 459 00:16:05,138 --> 00:16:07,662 I let him do things my husband doesn't even get to do 460 00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:09,403 and that's how he treats a lady? 461 00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:11,231 Tell him to grow the fuck up. 462 00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:12,754 Okay, I'll be sure to tell him that. 463 00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,016 -Thank you. -Yeah. 464 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:15,931 -Enjoy your night! -What the fuck? 465 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,715 -Why didn't you just run, man? -I don't know. 466 00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:21,023 Clyde, stop dicking around. Come on. 467 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,200 Okay, just fell out of a limo. 468 00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:25,680 Uh, damage assessment. 469 00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:26,942 Yeah, he smells a bit. 470 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,509 Definitely dumped the bowels, 471 00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:31,120 but, uh, overall I'd say he looks pretty good. 472 00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:32,643 Missing a finger. 473 00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:34,297 Yeah, I'm not gonna ask any questions there. 474 00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:36,734 -Looks like Skillitz to me. -Yeah, right? 475 00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:38,388 -That guy's fucking dead. -What? 476 00:16:38,432 --> 00:16:39,737 No, no, no, he's just drunk. 477 00:16:39,781 --> 00:16:41,348 -No, yeah, he's just drunk. -Uh-uh. 478 00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:43,437 I know a dead body when I see one. 479 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,439 It's my job. 480 00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:47,049 -It's also my pleasure. -Shit. 481 00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:48,137 Yeah, I know it is. 482 00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:50,226 God, Carol. 483 00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:52,402 Hey, what are the odds of you... 484 00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,056 Popping in the alley for a quick one? 485 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,536 See how much life he's got left in him? 486 00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,233 Or do a little touch-up on his face 487 00:16:57,277 --> 00:16:58,843 to make him look less dead? 488 00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:00,367 Oh, yeah. I've got my makeup in the hearse. 489 00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,282 Okay, get off me. Let's go, Clyde. 490 00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,849 ♪ 491 00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:28,656 -He looks great. -Yeah. 492 00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:31,093 I hate to say it, but you're really good at this. 493 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:34,009 You know, we don't do this enough. 494 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,403 All right, I'm gonna let you have that one. 495 00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:37,882 -Carol! -Ooh. 496 00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:39,710 No pictures! 497 00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,712 No pictures. 498 00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:43,323 Hey-ya. 499 00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,542 What's up, Skillz? How you living? 500 00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:47,066 Oh, he's living large. 501 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,591 She's not with us. 502 00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:51,896 Uh-uh. 503 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,594 Oh. Oh, no, I'm with them. 504 00:17:53,637 --> 00:17:55,204 Pac? 505 00:17:55,248 --> 00:17:56,423 Guys? 506 00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:58,686 Let the Le Douching begin. 507 00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:00,296 Fuck, yeah! 508 00:18:00,340 --> 00:18:02,603 Oh, shit. Oh, my God, is that Danny Poker right there? 509 00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:05,127 ♪ 510 00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:10,001 ♪ Maximum bass ♪ 511 00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:11,438 -Now's our chance. -No, no, no, we gotta 512 00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:12,874 -ditch the body first. -Oh, right. 513 00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:15,137 Yo, Skill! Baby, where you been, dawg? 514 00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:17,183 We need you onstage, like, yesterday. 515 00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:18,749 -Come on. -Yeah. Yo, dawg, 516 00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,229 actually, he wanted to sit down for a sec. 517 00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:21,839 We'll get him a chair. Come on. 518 00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:23,319 Yeah, cool, bro. 519 00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:24,494 -Do you have a hoverboard ramp? -No. 520 00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:25,756 What, are you handicapped? 521 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,063 No, I'm hoverboard friendly. 522 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:31,153 [cheering, applause] 523 00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:34,461 They love you, Skill! Give 'em a taste, bro! 524 00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:36,202 Everyone's looking. Do something! 525 00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:38,247 Fuck, there's so many fucking knobs. 526 00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:39,988 What are you doing? What are you doing?! 527 00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,990 -Pressing buttons. -You can't just press a button 528 00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,731 and be Skillitz! 529 00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,689 -♪ Skillitz ♪ -[cheering, applause] 530 00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:48,214 ♪ 531 00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:49,258 All right. 532 00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:50,694 Oh, shit. What about him? 533 00:18:58,311 --> 00:19:02,271 -[cheering] -Oh, ho, ho, ho! 534 00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:07,189 ♪ 535 00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,756 Good job, man. 536 00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:16,851 [clears throat] 537 00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:22,204 -Excuse me, Mr. Poker? -[music stops] 538 00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,337 -Excuse me, Danny Pokertini? -[mic feedback rings] 539 00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,556 I said, Mr. Pokertini? 540 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,689 [murmuring] 541 00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:30,212 Shit. 542 00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:32,954 -Copy. -Where are those d-bags at? 543 00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:34,390 Oh, fuck, oh, fuck. He's onto us. 544 00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:40,440 ♪ 545 00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:42,355 Hey, yo, Skillitz! 546 00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,185 [screaming] 547 00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:52,974 Who's a pussy now, bitch? 548 00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:55,368 Tweet that, motherfucker! Whoo! 549 00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:56,543 [screaming] 550 00:19:56,586 --> 00:19:58,936 Uh, Danny! Fuck. 551 00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:01,678 -Was that Deadr@t? -Deadr@t's a murderer! 552 00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:03,463 He's a stone-cold murderer. 553 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,989 That's all right. We'll get him next time. 554 00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:13,212 Or we could just return this to him tomorrow 555 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:14,517 at his apartment. 556 00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:17,128 -[siren wailing] -Blackjack, bitch! 557 00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:18,608 Unh! Ah. 558 00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:21,089 [sniffs, snorts] Oh, God! 559 00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:22,221 Cocaine. 560 00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,399 Clyde! The Skillitz interview is up 561 00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:27,922 on the "Tumbling Stone" website! 562 00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,358 They used my quote about Jude Law 563 00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:31,055 and the fucking massage parlor and everything! 564 00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:32,318 Is-- hey, hey. 565 00:20:33,493 --> 00:20:35,234 -Hey, buddy. -Hey. 566 00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:39,150 -I was just, uh... -Huh? 567 00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,761 -...changing my clothes. -Yeah, totally, man. 568 00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:42,328 That's cool. And I love change. I'm just gonna-- 569 00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:44,243 I was gonna, like-- I'm gonna-- I'm just gonna-- 570 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,070 I'm gonna go jerk-- 571 00:20:46,114 --> 00:20:47,811 I'm gonna read the article and I'm gonna go to bed. 572 00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:49,509 -Okay. -Cool, yeah. 573 00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:50,988 I was just gonna read an article and go to bed, too, so... 574 00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:52,903 Yeah, cool, man. Good night. 575 00:20:52,947 --> 00:20:54,862 ♪ 576 00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:57,908 ♪ Maximum bass ♪ 41052

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