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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:25,526 Greetings from Tromaville. 2 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:30,205 Let me take you back, back to where it all began... 3 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:34,956 to a small town in New Jersey. 4 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:38,463 At that time, the Tromaville nuclear power plant 5 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:41,125 had a horrifying meltdown, 6 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:44,761 tainting the water supply of Tromaville High School, 7 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:49,557 which was carelessly located right next door. 8 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:54,100 Heinous mutations occurred, transforming the student body 9 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:57,767 into radiated creatures and cretins. 10 00:00:57,933 --> 00:01:00,231 Well, not every student turned evil. 11 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:03,773 Our heroes Warren and Chrissy saved the day 12 00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:08,944 by blowing up the nuclear power plant and the school therein, 13 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:13,240 eliminating evil and setting things back to normal. 14 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:18,329 Oh, and some other stuff also happened. 15 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:32,184 But today, since criticizing nuclear power 16 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:35,437 is no longer in vogue, at least in movies, 17 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:39,476 the Tromaville nuclear power plant has been bulldozed 18 00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:43,236 to make way for the environmentally friendly, 19 00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:47,070 health-conscious Tromorganic Foodstuffs Inc, 20 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:51,988 built directly on top of the old nuclear plant. 21 00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,828 What could go wrong? 22 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:57,038 This is no typical remake. 23 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,202 I want you to join me 24 00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:03,124 as we "Return to Nuke 'Em High"! 25 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:06,794 Oh, by the way, excelsior! 26 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:36,457 ♪ Nuke 'Em High ♪ 27 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,543 ♪ Nuke 'Em High ♪ 28 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:43,581 ♪ The sun comes up, a brand-new day ♪ 29 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:46,751 ♪ The student body, time to pray ♪ 30 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:50,046 ♪ They take that test, they concentrate ♪ 31 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:53,136 ♪ 'Cause no one wants to be a waste ♪ 32 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,800 ♪ But outside of ♪ 33 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,388 ♪ The classroom walls ♪ 34 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,474 ♪ The Geiger counter ♪ 35 00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,059 ♪ Tells it all ♪ 36 00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:02,941 ♪ Can't see or feel or smell or taste ♪ 37 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:07,401 ♪ The remnants of the nuclear waste ♪ 38 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,735 ♪ I just ♪ 39 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:12,822 ♪ Really want to know ♪ 40 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,954 ♪ I just ♪ 41 00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:18,741 ♪ Really want to know ♪ 42 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:21,911 ♪ What's going on ♪ 43 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:24,751 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 44 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,587 ♪ What's going on ♪ 45 00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,302 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 46 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:34,761 ♪ What's going on ♪ 47 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,426 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 48 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,890 ♪ What's going on... ♪ 49 00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:44,350 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 50 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,774 That's hot. 51 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,723 Your wiener feels like it's flopping around 52 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,763 like a fish without oxygen. 53 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,977 You're fishing with John, baby. 54 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,312 Your name's John? 55 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,477 No, it's Gil, but whatevs. 56 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,695 OMG, 57 00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:35,734 fuck me with your fish dick, Gil! 58 00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:39,496 Oh! Something's got me. 59 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:42,077 - I got you, baby. - No, no. 60 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,993 Your box... it's biting me. 61 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,333 Whatever you're doing, it's getting me hot. 62 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:50,215 No, don't stop. 63 00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:30,042 What kind of god...? 64 00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,891 ♪ Nuke 'Em High ♪ 65 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,643 ♪ What's going on ♪ 66 00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:47,306 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 67 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,149 Eh. 68 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:14,090 ♪ Stack some medals, don't make a fuss ♪ 69 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:16,627 ♪ Forget about the two of us... ♪ 70 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,678 ♪ We're off to war ♪ 71 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:28,180 - ♪ Doesn't matter if you'll agree ♪ - Hi. Hi. 72 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,849 ♪ You're here to kill, you see... ♪ 73 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:33,519 Attention, Tromorganic employees, 74 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,733 please stop dancing and acting goofy. 75 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:39,987 President and CEO Herzkauf will be making his inspection shortly. 76 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,027 ♪ And do your best... ♪ 77 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,873 ♪ Stick some bayonets ♪ 78 00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,035 ♪ In some chests... ♪ 79 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,996 Now look, laddie, I want my ultracheap foodstuffs 80 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,878 in every school in New Jersey at inflated prices. 81 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,290 That is the basis of our plan, and you know it. 82 00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:57,209 No fast-food place will take my food anymore. 83 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:04,304 Hmm? 84 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,445 God damn it! 85 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,825 Now you... you, Westly, as principal of the guinea pig charter school... 86 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,486 - Sir, the president's on the line! - Give me that. 87 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:27,372 Oh! Why do you do that? 88 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,117 Yes, Mr. President. 89 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,753 - Disconnected. - I'll get him back! 90 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:37,337 Now what is all this about a rogue student blog, Pollution Nerdz, 91 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:40,469 talking about my foodstuffs contaminating the groundwater 92 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:41,970 and poisoning the students? 93 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,755 It's slanderous. And it may be true. 94 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,515 If word got out, we'd be ruined. 95 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,551 I got him back! 96 00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:53,523 I'm going to... give me that. Give me that. 97 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:55,229 Yes, Mr. President. 98 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:59,863 Oh, everything is just going beautifully... beautifully. 99 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:10,874 Look, there's... there's always gonna... 100 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:17,672 There's always gonna be a Zuckerberg in every school. Everything's fine. 101 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,715 Yes. And I'll see you in Havana. 102 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:25,050 Yeah, I'll get the hookers. Don't bring Michelle. 103 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:29,308 - Something wrong, boss? - Everything is fine. 104 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,311 You just pay attention to that slogan the spinmasters gave us: 105 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:35,314 "Propagation is health." "Propagation is health." 106 00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:38,568 And make sure... make sure those students at Tromaville High School 107 00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,320 are loving it! Are loving it! 108 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,480 - Oh, man. - What do you want? 109 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,901 This Plasti taco mix foodstuff don't look right, boss. 110 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,990 Well, you want to go green, don't you? 111 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,746 It looks green to me. 112 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,291 Get over here, you bastard. Give me my milk. 113 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,677 Give me that. Give me that. 114 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,843 Ah! 115 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,024 ♪ You were 17... ♪ 116 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,844 Do I look ripped, babe? 117 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,550 Oh, yeah. 118 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:51,011 Yeah. 119 00:09:55,136 --> 00:10:00,814 Oh-ho-ho-ho. 120 00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:07,449 What's he gonna do? 121 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,235 - What's he gonna do? - What's he gonna do? 122 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:11,869 - Ohh-hh. - Ohh-hh. 123 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,867 Uh, Eugene. 124 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,580 Eugene. 125 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:20,666 Uh, Eugene. 126 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,831 Eugene. Eugene! 127 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,920 What is it? 128 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,336 Uh, it's that time of the month 129 00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:31,177 and it's a horror movie down there, so... 130 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,182 Again? 131 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,389 That's what you said last week. 132 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,806 You know, I have toxic shock syndrome from all the tampons. 133 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:43,476 And I got a headache, so... Look, Chrissy, 134 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:47,523 I think you're super sexy in a butch kind of way, 135 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:50,408 which is weird, because what does that say about me? 136 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:55,535 But we've been talking about having sweet, sweaty, 137 00:10:55,697 --> 00:11:00,460 dirty, kinky, really weird, fucked-up teenage sex 138 00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,871 in my big, blue, 139 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:07,543 white-cream-leather-seat El Dorado for months now 140 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,507 and this is all I get? 141 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,140 You have to be kidding me! 142 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:25,231 At least you broads won't let me down. 143 00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:34,824 Oh, I really need to get another subscription. 144 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,413 Argh! Oh, you're missing out. 145 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:48,959 You're really missing out. You have no idea. 146 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,297 Argh! 147 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,758 Look out, Tromaville High. 148 00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:59,474 Here comes the new girl. 149 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,191 Oh. 150 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:23,451 Hey, new girl, look at these titties. 151 00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:25,291 They're bigger than yours. 152 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,296 You want to go to the prom with me? 153 00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:30,049 Where you going? 154 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:38,012 What's her deal? 155 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,427 I don't know, but she is hot. 156 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:44,143 She's a rich bitch. 157 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:46,182 How the fuck would you know, micro phallus? 158 00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,317 Attention, students. 159 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:52,026 Please empty all items into the plastic tray 160 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:54,691 before passing through the metal detector. 161 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,485 We've gone three days without a shooting. 162 00:12:57,652 --> 00:13:00,030 Let's keep it up. 163 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,789 Come on. 164 00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,545 She lives in Tromaville Heights. 165 00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:18,306 My dad sold her family their McMansion, 166 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,967 kind of like the one you live in, 167 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,728 Marilyn McManson. 168 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:24,978 You twat. 169 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,733 Thank God for Zoloft and thrift stores. 170 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,689 Would you pull this, please? 171 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:35,737 Please, please, please, let go, let go, let go. 172 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:39,027 Come on, guys, let's go. 173 00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,619 Oh. 174 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:04,935 The pope retired. 175 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,320 Fuck you. 176 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,534 Oh. 177 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,750 I am so sorry. I really didn't... 178 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,792 A brownnosing little rich girl late for intramural Ping-Pong? 179 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,961 Ping-Pong is on Wednesdays. 180 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,800 Today is Monday. 181 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,715 I am right about one thing, though, Miley Cyrus: 182 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,260 you are a brownnosing little rich girl. 183 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,803 Looks like Mommy and Daddy 184 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,687 won't be able to save you from a beating this time. 185 00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:52,563 You know what? Some of us actually have plans for our future 186 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:56,775 that don't involve binge drinking, trailer parks or food stamps. 187 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,447 Ow! Fuck! 188 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:04,283 I'm gonna get you, rich girl. 189 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,788 Ow. 190 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,332 Kevin, I'm home! 191 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,559 I love you, Kevin. 192 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,719 I know you'll never leave me. 193 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:49,115 It's great being rich and having a duck as a pet. 194 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,058 Okay, time to check my blog 195 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,976 and see how many eyes I've opened up 196 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,362 with my investigation of Tromorganic Farms. 197 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,067 OMG! 198 00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,699 18 whole page views. 199 00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:25,826 18 people have checked in. 200 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,862 What a month. I'll need more bandwidth. 201 00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:31,704 Here are some exclusive photos 202 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,868 from member 203 00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,254 Deeper Throat. 204 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:40,462 Not only does Tromorganics secretly mix in 205 00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:43,378 what appears to be sweetened wallpaper paste, 206 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:48,387 but the contaminated groundwater is everywhere. 207 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:52,562 The contaminated... 208 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,597 contamination... 209 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,766 um... 210 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,233 Cyber malaise. 211 00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:04,319 Tiredness. 212 00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:07,076 Horniness. 213 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:09,909 Where is that one site 214 00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:13,245 with that chick that looks like Angelina Jolie in "Gia"? 215 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,501 Jackpot. 216 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:19,631 All aboard the skin boat to tuna town. 217 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,633 ♪ Vagina, vagina ♪ 218 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:26,137 ♪ Vagina in the sky ♪ 219 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:29,674 ♪ Vagina, vagina ♪ 220 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,218 ♪ Vagina in the sky... ♪ 221 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,353 ♪ Vagina ♪ 222 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:37,812 ♪ In the sky, now every night... ♪ 223 00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:54,449 Is everything okay in here, dear? I heard crying. 224 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,288 Yeah, Aunt Bee. 225 00:17:56,450 --> 00:18:01,460 I'm just feeling a little... Sad about being an orphan? 226 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:02,874 Now that you mention it. 227 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,917 No, that's not it. 228 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,631 I bet I know what it is. 229 00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:10,219 - You do? - Well, of course I do. 230 00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:13,851 Don't worry, honey. Someday you'll find the right boy. 231 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,851 The right boy, yeah. 232 00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:23,148 And don't you worry, he won't be some deadbeat 233 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:26,989 goat sucker like your stinking father, that twat. 234 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,160 What's that? 235 00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,162 Looks like 236 00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:35,665 foreshadowing? 237 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,463 Dinner's at 7:00. It's tuna. 238 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:51,347 Please, God, get me out of this Tromaville hole. 239 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:53,849 Ugh. 240 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,906 Nooo! 241 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:19,872 Kevin. Kevin. 242 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,501 No. 243 00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:37,889 Macaroni. 244 00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:57,413 ♪ I'm calling ♪ 245 00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,915 ♪ But no one will be hearing... ♪ 246 00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:01,834 Attention, students, 247 00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:06,418 due to a recent outbreak of jock itch and rectal rashes, 248 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,924 Coach Sandusky would like 249 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,427 all members of the boys' wrestling team 250 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:15,590 to surrender their jockstraps to him immediately. 251 00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:19,386 ♪ Amazing ♪ 252 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,850 ♪ Grace... ♪ 253 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,648 ♪ How sweet... ♪ 254 00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:33,782 Attention, students. Now I know you're all 255 00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:36,114 looking forward to today's luncheon 256 00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:38,450 Super Duper Taco Tuesday Spectacular, 257 00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:42,662 but it's come to my attention that there's a blogger out there 258 00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:45,704 by the name of Lettuce Lover 69 259 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:49,295 and they run the blog called Pollution Nerdz. 260 00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:53,132 I have checked in on this Pollution Nerdz blog 261 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:54,671 18 times this month. 262 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:58,887 Now this blog is spreading a lot of slanderous lies 263 00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:02,804 about Tromaville High and Tromorganic Foodstuffs Inc. 264 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,314 They also have a very bad attitude 265 00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:08,317 towards conservative principles in general. 266 00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:11,525 Leave Ronald Reagan alone. 267 00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:16,818 Now I'm all for free speech. Otherwise why would I put out 268 00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:19,453 these thought-inhibiting announcements every morning? 269 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:23,333 But these lies about contaminated, cheap 270 00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:28,337 and 98% Plasti filler tainted foodstuffs are just malarkey. 271 00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:40,849 Have you seen my duck? His name is Kevin. 272 00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:45,851 Oh. 273 00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:47,640 Have you seen my missing duck? 274 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,230 Can a duck fill you up like Jesus? 275 00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:57,692 What kind of god allows an innocent duck to go missing? 276 00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:01,908 Hey, there's that snotty rich girl. I think she really likes me. 277 00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:04,369 - Hey, Twinkie. - Hey! 278 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:05,784 Ah! 279 00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:09,295 What a rich, stuck-up bitch. 280 00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,376 Why won't anyone go out with me? 281 00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:25,219 Yo, did you hear Principal Westly's announcement? 282 00:22:25,386 --> 00:22:27,263 Are you gonna take down Pollution Nerdz? 283 00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:29,523 Yo, Jeraldo! 284 00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:31,684 Caw-caw! Caw-caw! 285 00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:35,230 Uh, would Gertrude Stein take down her blog? 286 00:22:35,396 --> 00:22:38,275 Hell, no. So I stay full steam ahead with Pollution Nerdz 287 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,817 and let's sally forth. 288 00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:43,113 Gertrude Stein was a rich slacker bullshitter 289 00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:45,281 and her so-called poetry stunk. 290 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,415 And please don't even go there with Sally Forth... 291 00:22:47,575 --> 00:22:50,044 another sexually repressed white American soccer mom 292 00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:53,331 who had boring adventures at work and at home with no vibrator. 293 00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:55,420 You deserve your own PBS special. 294 00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:57,784 - You know what you deserve? - What's that, Henry Gates? 295 00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:00,512 Two feet shoved up your fucking... 296 00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:04,221 Guys, my mom made me a juicy roast beef sammich 297 00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:06,636 with dipping sauce... dipping sauce. 298 00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,562 You heard what he said, guys... dipping sauce. 299 00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:09,876 You know what that means, right? 300 00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:12,733 Yeah, and I can feel my blood sugar dipping right now. 301 00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:15,315 - I want to eat it. - Let's go. 302 00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:24,945 It's cheaper than monkey shit, 303 00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:27,490 and these kids can't get enough of it in their gullet. 304 00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:30,660 Hey, what's that green stuff in the gluten-free tacos 305 00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:32,999 for Terrance, the glee club, and the other nerds? 306 00:23:33,162 --> 00:23:36,382 Oh, that? That's just nonchemically polluted guacamole. 307 00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:39,293 Wait, why did you mention they were nonchemically polluted? 308 00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:40,632 Uh, no reason. 309 00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:42,262 Eh, whatever. I'm hungry. 310 00:23:57,019 --> 00:23:58,612 Hey, Terrance! 311 00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:03,026 How's that green, gluten-free, nonchemically polluted taco? 312 00:24:06,654 --> 00:24:08,372 ♪ Maybe we need ♪ 313 00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:10,532 ♪ A different city ♪ 314 00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:16,084 ♪ Maybe we need ♪ 315 00:24:16,246 --> 00:24:18,749 ♪ A different town ♪ 316 00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:24,676 ♪ Maybe we need ♪ 317 00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:26,840 ♪ A different city ♪ 318 00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:32,016 ♪ Maybe we need ♪ 319 00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:34,022 ♪ A different town. ♪ 320 00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:36,354 Hi, guys. 321 00:24:36,517 --> 00:24:38,394 Mind if I sit here? 322 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:39,686 No. 323 00:24:39,853 --> 00:24:41,981 Oh, my God. 324 00:24:45,192 --> 00:24:48,287 Hi. I'm Lauren. 325 00:24:53,367 --> 00:24:56,211 Don't worry, it's just another school shooting. 326 00:24:56,370 --> 00:24:58,839 CNN won't even cover them anymore. 327 00:24:58,998 --> 00:25:00,716 You can chill. 328 00:25:03,877 --> 00:25:06,926 Wow, rich girl ain't fucking around. 329 00:25:07,089 --> 00:25:09,683 Where did you get your lunch box... Tiffany's? 330 00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:16,060 Hey, you guys. 331 00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:19,067 I heard about this sick party/rave 332 00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:22,901 in one of Tromaville's 356 foreclosed houses. 333 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,486 You all should come. 334 00:25:25,649 --> 00:25:28,243 That sick party/rave happens to be happening 335 00:25:28,402 --> 00:25:30,404 in my foreclosed house, thank you very much. 336 00:25:30,571 --> 00:25:34,917 But it's only a small gathering, so please keep it on the down low. 337 00:25:35,075 --> 00:25:36,952 Gross. 338 00:25:38,579 --> 00:25:42,083 Guys, guys, what with exams coming up and whatnot, 339 00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:45,002 a blowout party/rave 340 00:25:45,169 --> 00:25:49,265 is just what Eugene needs! 341 00:25:49,423 --> 00:25:51,425 Great. 342 00:25:51,592 --> 00:25:54,596 I'm so happy for Eugene, who refers to himself in the third person 343 00:25:54,762 --> 00:25:57,311 and will finally be able to blow off some steam at my expense. 344 00:25:57,473 --> 00:25:59,441 I actually heard on NPR 345 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,604 that the stress of studying for exams and getting into a good college 346 00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:07,528 is actually worse than the stress our soldiers face in Afghanistan. 347 00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:10,444 The next time your car 348 00:26:10,611 --> 00:26:12,534 gets blown up by an IED 349 00:26:12,696 --> 00:26:15,870 or you're forced to bag the bodies of children killed by a suicide bomber, 350 00:26:16,033 --> 00:26:19,378 you tell me if that stress is greater than getting into Hobart. 351 00:26:19,536 --> 00:26:22,460 Oh! 352 00:26:22,623 --> 00:26:26,297 Wow, Slater, you have family members in Afghanistan? 353 00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:28,178 No. 354 00:26:28,337 --> 00:26:31,136 But I did illegally download "The Hurt Locker" 355 00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:32,641 and got sued by the filmmakers. 356 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,804 You see, Lauren, now that's stress. 357 00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:39,189 Look at this bitch and her Jap food. 358 00:26:43,936 --> 00:26:47,190 Miso soup, me so hungry. 359 00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:52,319 Get away from me, you bully. 360 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,008 I am so, 361 00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:13,174 so sorry. 362 00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:15,718 Fight, fight, fight, fight! 363 00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:17,511 What are you doing? 364 00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,189 Punch her uterus! 365 00:27:36,613 --> 00:27:38,957 Stop! That's enough. 366 00:27:39,116 --> 00:27:42,711 You are both going to detention after school today. 367 00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:46,090 That's it. Get out. 368 00:27:46,248 --> 00:27:48,125 - I'm gonna get you, rich girl. - Shut it! 369 00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:49,669 Get up. 370 00:27:56,216 --> 00:27:58,890 Uh, Lauren, hi. 371 00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:00,850 Uh, my name is Zac. 372 00:28:01,013 --> 00:28:03,232 - Let me help you with that. - No, I got it. 373 00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:05,358 I just... I was wondering 374 00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:07,394 if sometime maybe you would want to come over 375 00:28:07,561 --> 00:28:10,235 and we could watch Joel Schumacher's "Batman and Robin." 376 00:28:11,773 --> 00:28:14,196 Or maybe you're more of a "Transformers" girl. 377 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:17,078 They're more than meets the eye. As long as it's not one of those 378 00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:20,241 god-awful "Star Wars" prequels, we're all good. 379 00:28:20,407 --> 00:28:22,910 Zac, that's really nice and everything, but... 380 00:28:23,076 --> 00:28:25,329 - It's 'cause I'm fat, right? - No. 381 00:28:25,495 --> 00:28:27,543 - A lard-ass, right? - No. 382 00:28:27,706 --> 00:28:30,676 To you, I'm just a jelly roll, jizz dwarf, 383 00:28:30,834 --> 00:28:32,962 snatch badger, ass troll 384 00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:35,631 who eats donuts and cakes and Twinkies and pies 385 00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:37,720 with his fat, fat, fatty-fat piehole, right? 386 00:28:37,883 --> 00:28:39,260 What? 387 00:28:39,426 --> 00:28:41,269 What do all those words even mean? 388 00:28:41,428 --> 00:28:45,520 Or maybe... maybe you don't even like boys at all. 389 00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:46,934 No. 390 00:28:47,100 --> 00:28:51,189 No, it's because you smell like roast beef. 391 00:28:53,649 --> 00:28:55,322 Shh. Shh. Shh. 392 00:28:55,484 --> 00:28:58,112 Shh, shh. It's okay. It's okay. 393 00:28:58,278 --> 00:29:01,327 Guys, guys, guys. We like that smell, right? 394 00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:03,743 - Roast beef? - No, he smells like shit. 395 00:29:03,909 --> 00:29:05,536 You shouldn't have said "Batman and Robin," man. 396 00:29:05,702 --> 00:29:09,297 It's "Batman Forever." "Batman Forever," baby. 397 00:29:22,636 --> 00:29:24,809 Help. 398 00:29:27,057 --> 00:29:29,059 Help. 399 00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:35,107 Whoa. 400 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,799 Goddamn diabetic kids. 401 00:30:11,727 --> 00:30:14,321 You're out of your mind. I love Justin Bieber. 402 00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:17,028 Justin Bieber is the best. 403 00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:19,989 Whoa. Whoa. 404 00:30:20,152 --> 00:30:22,575 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa! 405 00:30:22,738 --> 00:30:25,116 Come on, guys. This is awesome. Come on. 406 00:30:33,707 --> 00:30:36,506 What in the name of Christ is going on here? 407 00:30:40,630 --> 00:30:42,724 Look, I love Justin Bieber. 408 00:30:58,065 --> 00:30:59,817 No! Why? 409 00:30:59,983 --> 00:31:02,907 OMG, this picture will totally get me 410 00:31:03,070 --> 00:31:05,619 at least six more forwards on Instagram. 411 00:31:05,781 --> 00:31:07,579 This is so going on my blog. 412 00:31:07,741 --> 00:31:09,869 I'm just waiting for Myspace to come back. 413 00:31:11,244 --> 00:31:12,336 Stop, everyone! 414 00:31:12,496 --> 00:31:15,090 Step back, come on. This is a horrible accident. 415 00:31:15,248 --> 00:31:16,420 Step back now. Step back. 416 00:31:16,583 --> 00:31:18,426 Give him his dignity. 417 00:31:18,585 --> 00:31:20,303 Is there a doctor in the house? 418 00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:26,719 Scratch that. Is there a janitor in the house? 419 00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:29,183 Now it's a well-known fact 420 00:31:29,346 --> 00:31:32,099 that this student was a smoker of the marijuana. 421 00:31:32,265 --> 00:31:34,939 And I'm willing to bet that his dental records will prove 422 00:31:35,102 --> 00:31:36,979 he was a drama student. 423 00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:39,022 And the smoking of ganja 424 00:31:39,189 --> 00:31:41,066 has been known to cause cranial explosions 425 00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:44,032 and this type of thing in overly dramatic students. 426 00:31:44,194 --> 00:31:46,572 What? Wait, wait. 427 00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:51,748 Actually, I've just been informed that we've all witnessed here 428 00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:55,460 is in fact a drama department's latest venture. 429 00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:58,967 It's a remake of Arthur Miller's classic "Death of a Salesman" 430 00:31:59,126 --> 00:32:01,003 as imagined by Christopher Nolan. 431 00:32:01,169 --> 00:32:02,842 So nothing to see here. 432 00:32:03,004 --> 00:32:05,098 Everyone back to class. 433 00:32:26,027 --> 00:32:27,825 Hey, watch it. 434 00:32:37,998 --> 00:32:41,343 Why are you bullying me? 435 00:32:41,501 --> 00:32:43,720 What have I ever done to you? 436 00:32:43,879 --> 00:32:46,553 Bullying? You think I'm a bully? 437 00:32:49,009 --> 00:32:51,353 You want to know why? 438 00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:54,185 Because people like you have it so easy. 439 00:32:54,347 --> 00:32:58,773 Poor little rich girl never had to work a day in her life 440 00:32:58,935 --> 00:33:00,812 while I can barely afford lunch. 441 00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:04,734 It makes me sick. So fuck you. 442 00:33:04,900 --> 00:33:07,619 Why don't you stick your silver chopstick up your bento box? 443 00:33:07,777 --> 00:33:09,324 You don't know me. 444 00:33:09,488 --> 00:33:13,209 And I don't own any silver chopsticks. 445 00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:23,043 What's with the skinless Furbies? 446 00:33:23,210 --> 00:33:26,384 I like babies. 447 00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:29,766 I want to have a lot of them one day. 448 00:33:31,051 --> 00:33:35,147 Only fame-whore teen moms who want to be on MTV, 449 00:33:35,305 --> 00:33:38,650 rich kids and drooling idiots want to have babies. 450 00:33:38,808 --> 00:33:41,607 That's it, Chrissy Goldberg. To the principal's office, now. 451 00:33:41,770 --> 00:33:44,990 But Westly said if I show up one more time this year, he'll suspend me. 452 00:33:45,148 --> 00:33:47,571 Wait, Miss Bliss, it was me. 453 00:33:47,734 --> 00:33:49,657 I was the one who was talking. 454 00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:55,250 I'm new here and I don't know too many people, so I just... 455 00:33:56,576 --> 00:33:59,250 Well, all right. Just sit down and shut up. 456 00:33:59,412 --> 00:34:01,414 Okay. 457 00:34:02,916 --> 00:34:05,339 No more talking. 458 00:34:06,836 --> 00:34:09,089 That was stupid, rich girl. 459 00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:31,161 The new girl has beautiful hair. 460 00:34:32,487 --> 00:34:34,410 What did you say? 461 00:34:34,573 --> 00:34:37,497 Uh, I said old Westly looks like a fat-ass bear. 462 00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:43,999 Your jokes make me so hot. We should totally bang tonight. 463 00:34:46,626 --> 00:34:49,800 Taco Tuesday was a huge success. 464 00:34:49,963 --> 00:34:55,059 But, unfortunately, we also suffered a horrible tragedy. 465 00:34:55,218 --> 00:34:57,846 We all loved and respected little 466 00:34:58,013 --> 00:35:01,813 Timmy... Tommy... Terrance Horowitz, I don't know. 467 00:35:01,975 --> 00:35:04,649 But like Mama Cass 468 00:35:04,811 --> 00:35:07,405 from The Mamas and the Papas 469 00:35:07,564 --> 00:35:09,407 who choked to death on a ham sandwich, 470 00:35:09,566 --> 00:35:12,490 this unfortunate kid, whatever his name was, 471 00:35:12,652 --> 00:35:14,950 suffered the same accidental fate. 472 00:35:15,113 --> 00:35:18,834 Now I can't stress enough the word "accidental" there. 473 00:35:18,992 --> 00:35:21,996 No! 'Twas those terrible Tuesday Tacos 474 00:35:22,162 --> 00:35:24,130 that tragically transformed Terrance. 475 00:35:24,289 --> 00:35:27,088 Nice alliteration, yo. 476 00:35:27,250 --> 00:35:30,174 Don't you people see? It was the food! 477 00:35:30,337 --> 00:35:31,509 Get him out. Get him out. 478 00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:34,390 - Security. Out. - No. 479 00:35:34,549 --> 00:35:36,893 - No. No. - Get him out of here. 480 00:35:37,052 --> 00:35:39,020 No! 481 00:35:39,179 --> 00:35:41,056 No. No! 482 00:35:41,222 --> 00:35:45,648 "The Class of Nuke 'Em High" was an inside job! 483 00:35:46,895 --> 00:35:50,115 You've got the wrong person, you blind bozo. 484 00:35:50,273 --> 00:35:52,776 Now I would like to further eulogize 485 00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:56,697 our decapitated comrade in education 486 00:35:56,863 --> 00:36:01,118 by having our lovely glee club come out to sing a song. 487 00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:23,770 You know, Patrick, the glee club isn't as gay as it used to be, 488 00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:26,811 thanks to the Fox Network. 489 00:36:26,976 --> 00:36:28,569 Head explod... 490 00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:32,653 head exploding is a serious problem, y'all. 491 00:36:32,816 --> 00:36:34,739 And we're here to talk about it. 492 00:36:34,901 --> 00:36:37,905 So if you're worried, don't be, 493 00:36:38,071 --> 00:36:40,995 'cause we are too. Three, four... 494 00:36:43,076 --> 00:36:47,001 ♪ Amazing... ♪ 495 00:36:47,163 --> 00:36:48,961 ♪ Grace ♪ 496 00:36:49,124 --> 00:36:52,628 - ♪ How sweet... ♪ - This sucks. 497 00:36:52,794 --> 00:36:55,923 ♪ The sound ♪ 498 00:36:56,089 --> 00:36:59,013 - ♪ That saved... ♪ - Get off the stage! 499 00:36:59,175 --> 00:37:02,600 ♪ A wretch ♪ 500 00:37:02,762 --> 00:37:05,015 ♪ Like me ♪ 501 00:37:09,269 --> 00:37:11,943 ♪ I once ♪ 502 00:37:12,105 --> 00:37:15,609 ♪ Was lost ♪ 503 00:37:15,775 --> 00:37:18,995 ♪ But now ♪ 504 00:37:19,154 --> 00:37:21,122 ♪ I'm found ♪ 505 00:37:21,281 --> 00:37:25,002 ♪ Was blind... ♪ 506 00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:28,913 ♪ But now ♪ 507 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,299 - ♪ I see. ♪ - I see! 508 00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:49,768 Oh! 509 00:37:54,147 --> 00:37:55,524 Yeah! 510 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:19,464 Oh, my God, the glee club is bulimic! 511 00:39:32,579 --> 00:39:34,422 Ah! 512 00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:38,710 Hey, wait up. 513 00:39:45,592 --> 00:39:48,971 Do you guys notice anything different? 514 00:39:49,137 --> 00:39:51,435 Whoa, we've mutated. 515 00:39:51,598 --> 00:39:54,477 And my wheelchair has illogically mutated too. 516 00:39:54,642 --> 00:39:57,816 And I think I can feel my legs. 517 00:39:57,979 --> 00:40:01,108 No, never mind. Still a cripple. 518 00:40:01,274 --> 00:40:02,696 Oh, snap. 519 00:40:02,859 --> 00:40:06,113 Kick-fucking-ass! 520 00:40:06,279 --> 00:40:08,657 Yeah. 521 00:40:13,786 --> 00:40:15,288 Whoa. 522 00:40:19,459 --> 00:40:22,212 Come on. 523 00:40:39,771 --> 00:40:41,489 ♪ Stack some medals ♪ 524 00:40:41,648 --> 00:40:43,446 ♪ Don't make a fuss... ♪ 525 00:40:43,608 --> 00:40:44,780 ♪ Forget about the... ♪ 526 00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:52,708 These jugglers are fucking nuts. 527 00:41:11,511 --> 00:41:13,058 We're alive. 528 00:41:13,221 --> 00:41:15,019 It's a motherfucking miracle. 529 00:41:40,790 --> 00:41:42,258 What kind of a god allows me... 530 00:41:42,417 --> 00:41:46,379 on this crappy teacher's salary to be forced to live out of my car? 531 00:42:01,978 --> 00:42:04,572 What kind of a god are you? 532 00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:06,984 I'd even take a shoebox apartment, 533 00:42:07,150 --> 00:42:10,700 even if it is in Tromaville crack town. 534 00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:13,081 Whoo! 535 00:42:15,241 --> 00:42:16,538 Uh-oh. 536 00:42:16,701 --> 00:42:19,580 Hey, Mrs. Crabtree. 537 00:42:31,257 --> 00:42:33,726 ♪ Sweet Adeline ♪ 538 00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:36,138 ♪ Sweet Adeline... ♪ 539 00:42:36,304 --> 00:42:38,306 Your singing is terrible. 540 00:42:38,473 --> 00:42:40,692 ♪ My Adeline ♪ 541 00:42:40,850 --> 00:42:43,148 ♪ My Adeline... ♪ 542 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,574 ♪ At night, dear heart ♪ 543 00:42:47,732 --> 00:42:50,360 ♪ At night, dear heart... ♪ 544 00:42:51,986 --> 00:42:53,863 ♪ For you I pine ♪ 545 00:42:54,030 --> 00:42:58,410 ♪ For you I pine... ♪ 546 00:43:11,547 --> 00:43:13,424 - Hey, Mrs. Crabtree. - Huh? 547 00:43:13,591 --> 00:43:18,308 You know, when I was a kid, all the kids used to tease me, call me a cripple. 548 00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:20,815 Yeah, yeah. Now I'm the only one I know 549 00:43:20,973 --> 00:43:24,522 that can run a quarter mile each day on their arms! 550 00:43:24,685 --> 00:43:26,153 Do it. 551 00:43:28,147 --> 00:43:31,151 Oh, snap. 552 00:43:33,361 --> 00:43:35,079 Oh, my God, I'm hard... 553 00:43:35,238 --> 00:43:37,115 for the first time. 554 00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:38,658 Oh. 555 00:43:38,825 --> 00:43:40,827 Oh, my God. 556 00:43:40,993 --> 00:43:42,666 Oh, my God, I'm hard. 557 00:43:45,039 --> 00:43:46,837 Oh, God! 558 00:43:55,383 --> 00:43:56,760 Ein... 559 00:43:56,926 --> 00:43:59,554 zwei, drei! 560 00:44:02,765 --> 00:44:04,358 Oh, snap. 561 00:44:07,353 --> 00:44:09,981 Come on, come on. 562 00:44:21,576 --> 00:44:24,580 Ichi, ni, san! 563 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,503 What the fuck? 564 00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:33,091 Hey! 565 00:44:33,254 --> 00:44:35,256 - Let's go shoot up a movie theater. - Yeah. 566 00:44:58,196 --> 00:45:00,073 Kevin! 567 00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:04,578 Kevin! 568 00:45:04,744 --> 00:45:06,917 Kevin, where are you? 569 00:45:08,915 --> 00:45:10,007 Kevin! 570 00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:14,254 Kevin. Oh. 571 00:45:14,420 --> 00:45:17,594 Oh, don't you ever, ever, ever do that again. 572 00:45:17,757 --> 00:45:21,011 Do you hear me? I was so worried about you. 573 00:45:21,177 --> 00:45:23,100 It's okay. It's okay. 574 00:45:23,262 --> 00:45:25,105 Mommy's here now. 575 00:45:25,264 --> 00:45:28,643 Oh, poor baby, what's all over your beak? 576 00:45:53,626 --> 00:45:57,381 - ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Quack ♪ 577 00:45:57,546 --> 00:45:59,586 ♪ One little, two little, three little ducklings ♪ 578 00:45:59,674 --> 00:46:01,714 ♪ Four little, five little, six little ducklings ♪ 579 00:46:01,842 --> 00:46:05,972 ♪ Seven little, eight little, nine little ducklings ♪ 580 00:46:06,138 --> 00:46:07,811 - ♪ Ten little tiny ducks. ♪ - Give him back. 581 00:46:07,974 --> 00:46:10,022 Please give me my duck back. 582 00:46:10,184 --> 00:46:12,937 Please give me my duck back. 583 00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:15,277 Oh, for a kiss, I will. 584 00:46:15,439 --> 00:46:17,658 I'd just as soon kiss a duck. 585 00:46:17,817 --> 00:46:19,364 I can arrange that. 586 00:46:25,074 --> 00:46:27,793 Oh, no, no. Please, no. 587 00:46:27,952 --> 00:46:30,546 Duck rape! 588 00:46:30,705 --> 00:46:33,424 - Give me the duck. - Duck rape! 589 00:46:33,582 --> 00:46:35,425 Smile for the birdie. 590 00:46:35,584 --> 00:46:38,212 Duck rape. 591 00:46:44,385 --> 00:46:46,387 Loser. 592 00:46:50,391 --> 00:46:52,439 Loser. 593 00:47:21,047 --> 00:47:22,390 I'm sorry. 594 00:47:24,550 --> 00:47:27,975 If you guys were tough, you wouldn't need weapons. 595 00:47:31,599 --> 00:47:33,442 Sorry, I'm kind of busy right now. 596 00:47:35,728 --> 00:47:36,900 Whoa. 597 00:47:43,319 --> 00:47:47,449 Sorry, duck down throat is not covered under Obamacare. 598 00:47:47,615 --> 00:47:49,242 Ugh. 599 00:48:19,688 --> 00:48:21,440 Ooh. 600 00:48:30,491 --> 00:48:32,664 Uh, I'm still busy. 601 00:48:34,161 --> 00:48:36,334 Ooh! 602 00:48:36,497 --> 00:48:39,000 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight, oh, yeah ♪ 603 00:48:39,166 --> 00:48:41,794 ♪ Kill myself tonight, all right. ♪ 604 00:48:41,961 --> 00:48:43,008 Shit. 605 00:48:45,965 --> 00:48:47,717 Hey. 606 00:48:47,883 --> 00:48:51,433 Why did the chick with a duck in her mouth cross the road? 607 00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:53,472 Get in, foul mouth. 608 00:48:53,639 --> 00:48:55,983 What, is this some kind of political statement, rich girl? 609 00:48:56,142 --> 00:48:59,066 Really? 610 00:48:59,228 --> 00:49:00,855 Really? 611 00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:03,023 God damn. 612 00:49:03,190 --> 00:49:04,567 Oh, whatever, I owe you one. 613 00:49:04,733 --> 00:49:09,497 That bird in your mouth really brings out your eyes. 614 00:49:12,283 --> 00:49:14,377 All right, welcome. 615 00:49:15,995 --> 00:49:18,168 Okay, um... 616 00:49:18,330 --> 00:49:20,082 eww. 617 00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:28,383 Oh. What? 618 00:49:47,526 --> 00:49:49,403 Oh! 619 00:49:49,570 --> 00:49:51,243 Ugh. 620 00:49:52,573 --> 00:49:54,450 - I... - Oh, I... 621 00:49:56,494 --> 00:49:58,872 Come on, we'll just go relax. 622 00:49:59,038 --> 00:50:00,915 Aw. 623 00:50:01,081 --> 00:50:04,051 Hi, Kevin. 624 00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:16,768 - Huh? - Huh? 625 00:50:16,931 --> 00:50:19,605 Damn duck must have got into some bath salts. 626 00:50:21,519 --> 00:50:24,523 Thank you. 627 00:50:24,688 --> 00:50:26,690 Yeah, whatever. 628 00:50:28,359 --> 00:50:30,828 So... 629 00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:33,364 I'm going to this party tonight and... 630 00:50:33,531 --> 00:50:37,456 Oh, I should go, let you get ready. 631 00:50:37,618 --> 00:50:39,746 Uh, rich girl... 632 00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,549 do you want to go? 633 00:51:02,643 --> 00:51:05,988 ♪ I got a call from the other side today ♪ 634 00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:11,740 ♪ When he hung up the phone, I forgot to hear what he had to say... ♪ 635 00:51:11,902 --> 00:51:14,746 Really? Does this look like a garbage dump to you? 636 00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:17,158 Chrissy. 637 00:51:17,324 --> 00:51:19,622 Some assholes posted my address on Facebook. 638 00:51:19,785 --> 00:51:20,957 Now look. 639 00:51:24,498 --> 00:51:26,458 I think it was the producers of "The Hurt Locker." 640 00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:28,343 They had my IP address. I know it. 641 00:51:28,502 --> 00:51:30,880 Uh-huh. Slater, you remember Lauren? 642 00:51:31,046 --> 00:51:32,673 Yeah. Aloha. 643 00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:35,844 Didn't you guys hate each other, like, eight hours ago? 644 00:51:36,010 --> 00:51:39,014 Uh, don't you want to get rid of the social hand grenades? 645 00:51:40,264 --> 00:51:42,813 Whoa! 646 00:51:42,975 --> 00:51:44,735 Us black people can't get enough white pussy, 647 00:51:44,893 --> 00:51:47,237 and I'm just saying that my chances might be pretty solid 648 00:51:47,396 --> 00:51:49,364 if I get a white girl drunk enough. 649 00:51:49,523 --> 00:51:53,369 Yo, Slater, the donkey took a huge shit in the bathtub. 650 00:51:53,527 --> 00:51:54,904 I gotta go. 651 00:52:04,705 --> 00:52:08,335 ♪ Do you hang up the phone and do you lay it to rest... ♪ 652 00:52:10,669 --> 00:52:13,263 - Feeling better? - Yeah, much. Thanks. 653 00:52:13,422 --> 00:52:17,222 I needed to get my mind off that, you know, duck rape. 654 00:52:19,762 --> 00:52:21,389 Eugene just broke up with me. 655 00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:23,478 Oh, no. I'm so sorry. Over a text? 656 00:52:23,641 --> 00:52:26,565 Yeah. He's an idiot. He didn't even finish the message. 657 00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:34,572 Eww. 658 00:52:37,237 --> 00:52:39,740 - Let's dance. - Okay. 659 00:52:39,907 --> 00:52:42,751 ♪ This is the last song ♪ 660 00:52:42,910 --> 00:52:44,912 ♪ I'll ever write ♪ 661 00:52:45,079 --> 00:52:47,423 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 662 00:52:47,581 --> 00:52:49,504 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 663 00:52:49,667 --> 00:52:51,635 ♪ This is the last song ♪ 664 00:52:51,794 --> 00:52:54,092 ♪ I'll ever write ♪ 665 00:52:54,254 --> 00:52:57,975 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 666 00:52:58,133 --> 00:53:00,932 ♪ This is the last song ♪ 667 00:53:01,095 --> 00:53:03,268 ♪ I'll ever write ♪ 668 00:53:03,430 --> 00:53:05,558 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 669 00:53:05,724 --> 00:53:07,852 ♪ I'm gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 670 00:53:08,018 --> 00:53:10,316 ♪ This is the last song ♪ 671 00:53:10,479 --> 00:53:12,823 ♪ I'll ever write ♪ 672 00:53:12,981 --> 00:53:14,904 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 673 00:53:15,067 --> 00:53:17,411 ♪ I'm gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 674 00:53:17,569 --> 00:53:19,822 ♪ This is the last song ♪ 675 00:53:19,988 --> 00:53:22,207 ♪ I'll ever write ♪ 676 00:53:22,366 --> 00:53:24,334 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 677 00:53:24,493 --> 00:53:26,791 ♪ I'm gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 678 00:53:26,954 --> 00:53:29,332 ♪ This is the last song ♪ 679 00:53:29,498 --> 00:53:31,717 ♪ I'll ever write ♪ 680 00:53:31,875 --> 00:53:33,798 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 681 00:53:33,961 --> 00:53:36,259 ♪ I'm gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 682 00:53:36,422 --> 00:53:40,802 ♪ Gonna kill myself, gonna kill myself ♪ 683 00:53:40,968 --> 00:53:43,972 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 684 00:53:45,639 --> 00:53:47,892 ♪ I'm gonna kill myself ♪ 685 00:53:48,058 --> 00:53:50,436 ♪ Gonna kill myself ♪ 686 00:53:50,602 --> 00:53:53,697 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 687 00:53:55,482 --> 00:53:57,780 ♪ This is the last song ♪ 688 00:53:57,943 --> 00:54:00,412 ♪ I'll ever write ♪ 689 00:54:00,571 --> 00:54:02,573 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 690 00:54:02,740 --> 00:54:05,163 ♪ I'm gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 691 00:54:05,325 --> 00:54:07,623 ♪ This is the last song ♪ 692 00:54:07,786 --> 00:54:10,084 ♪ I'll ever write ♪ 693 00:54:10,247 --> 00:54:12,249 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 694 00:54:12,416 --> 00:54:14,760 ♪ I'm gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 695 00:54:14,918 --> 00:54:17,216 ♪ This is the last song ♪ 696 00:54:17,379 --> 00:54:19,848 ♪ I'll ever write ♪ 697 00:54:20,007 --> 00:54:22,009 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 698 00:54:22,176 --> 00:54:24,599 ♪ I'm gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 699 00:54:24,762 --> 00:54:27,060 ♪ This is the last song ♪ 700 00:54:27,222 --> 00:54:29,691 ♪ I'll ever write ♪ 701 00:54:29,850 --> 00:54:31,852 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 702 00:54:32,019 --> 00:54:34,021 ♪ I'm gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 703 00:54:34,188 --> 00:54:36,532 ♪ This is the last song ♪ 704 00:54:36,690 --> 00:54:39,159 ♪ I'll ever write ♪ 705 00:54:39,318 --> 00:54:41,320 ♪ Gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 706 00:54:41,487 --> 00:54:43,865 ♪ I'm gonna kill myself tonight ♪ 707 00:54:44,031 --> 00:54:46,033 ♪ This is... ♪ 708 00:55:04,593 --> 00:55:09,019 So this room is a little prewar, right? 709 00:55:28,992 --> 00:55:31,086 ♪ I'm calling ♪ 710 00:55:31,245 --> 00:55:32,963 ♪ But no one ♪ 711 00:55:33,121 --> 00:55:35,123 ♪ Will be hearing ♪ 712 00:55:37,209 --> 00:55:39,428 ♪ I'm laughing ♪ 713 00:55:39,586 --> 00:55:43,261 ♪ But I cannot be heard ♪ 714 00:55:45,300 --> 00:55:47,769 ♪ I'm crying ♪ 715 00:55:47,928 --> 00:55:51,603 ♪ But no one will be drying ♪ 716 00:55:55,686 --> 00:55:58,940 ♪ These tears that fall ♪ 717 00:56:01,650 --> 00:56:05,905 ♪ So how do we ever ♪ 718 00:56:06,071 --> 00:56:09,701 ♪ Face a thousand violins? ♪ 719 00:56:09,867 --> 00:56:13,917 ♪ And how do we ever ♪ 720 00:56:14,079 --> 00:56:17,128 ♪ Even start to begin? ♪ 721 00:56:18,375 --> 00:56:20,298 ♪ It's raining ♪ 722 00:56:20,460 --> 00:56:24,260 ♪ Without a sign of stopping ♪ 723 00:56:26,466 --> 00:56:28,594 ♪ It's sunny... ♪ 724 00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,263 ♪ But no one's getting warm ♪ 725 00:56:34,975 --> 00:56:36,818 ♪ In heaven ♪ 726 00:56:36,977 --> 00:56:41,153 ♪ The harps have all been broken... ♪ 727 00:56:41,315 --> 00:56:44,068 I think I'm coming. 728 00:56:44,234 --> 00:56:47,989 Oh, I'm coming. I think I'm coming. 729 00:56:50,991 --> 00:56:54,746 ♪ So how do we ever... ♪ 730 00:56:54,912 --> 00:56:57,006 ♪ Face a thousand ♪ 731 00:56:57,164 --> 00:56:59,337 - ♪ Violins? ♪ - Ugh. 732 00:56:59,499 --> 00:57:02,924 ♪ And how do we ever ♪ 733 00:57:03,086 --> 00:57:04,963 - ♪ Even start... ♪ - Mm. 734 00:57:05,130 --> 00:57:06,928 - ♪ To begin? ♪ - Mm, yeah. 735 00:57:07,090 --> 00:57:08,683 Aww. 736 00:57:08,842 --> 00:57:11,345 ♪ All through the days ♪ 737 00:57:11,511 --> 00:57:14,435 ♪ Now faded away ♪ 738 00:57:16,350 --> 00:57:19,194 ♪ One thought remains... ♪ 739 00:57:19,353 --> 00:57:21,196 - Oh, faster. - ♪ One thought ♪ 740 00:57:21,355 --> 00:57:23,653 ♪ Does stay ♪ 741 00:57:23,815 --> 00:57:27,695 ♪ It haunts me still ♪ 742 00:57:27,861 --> 00:57:31,911 ♪ It will remain... ♪ 743 00:57:32,074 --> 00:57:35,419 ♪ I'm lost in wonder ♪ 744 00:57:35,577 --> 00:57:39,207 ♪ And I hear again ♪ 745 00:57:39,373 --> 00:57:43,844 ♪ Tell me how do we ever... ♪ 746 00:57:51,426 --> 00:57:55,556 Yo, yo, yo, my niggas, my jiggas, my wiggas, 747 00:57:55,722 --> 00:57:59,067 Eugene the Machine has arrived 748 00:57:59,226 --> 00:58:01,570 and he feels alive! 749 00:58:01,728 --> 00:58:04,857 Now y'all give him five! 750 00:58:08,819 --> 00:58:10,696 That's it? Nothing? 751 00:58:10,862 --> 00:58:14,082 Not even an impromptu dance number? 752 00:58:15,409 --> 00:58:17,082 Eugene needs a drink. 753 00:58:22,791 --> 00:58:25,840 I used to smoke after sex. Now I broccoli. 754 00:58:27,504 --> 00:58:29,381 So what do we do now? 755 00:58:29,548 --> 00:58:32,518 Come out of the closet like Ellen? I think we should. 756 00:58:33,802 --> 00:58:36,225 You can't even wear a hoodie and eat Skittles in this town 757 00:58:36,388 --> 00:58:38,265 without getting shot. 758 00:58:38,432 --> 00:58:41,561 A hoodie? Are you saying being gay is worse than being black? 759 00:58:41,727 --> 00:58:44,606 No, I'm saying that in this town 760 00:58:44,771 --> 00:58:47,650 people think that LGBT stands for 761 00:58:47,816 --> 00:58:51,070 "lynch, grope, bully, torture." 762 00:58:51,236 --> 00:58:53,830 I'll stick with the closet, thanks. 763 00:59:01,038 --> 00:59:04,338 Whoa, Eugene likes it rough. 764 00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:06,797 Eugene needs some. 765 00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:09,304 Yeah? You want to see this? 766 00:59:09,463 --> 00:59:10,965 Whoa. 767 00:59:15,010 --> 00:59:17,229 I'm gonna show 'em to you, baby. 768 00:59:17,387 --> 00:59:19,185 I'm gonna show you everything I got. 769 00:59:19,347 --> 00:59:22,351 Baby, Eugene needs to see. 770 00:59:22,517 --> 00:59:25,316 Oh. Oh-ho-ho. 771 00:59:29,775 --> 00:59:31,777 Oh, yeah. 772 00:59:34,488 --> 00:59:37,788 Oh, baby, it's been a long time. 773 00:59:37,949 --> 00:59:39,622 You've got no idea. 774 00:59:47,334 --> 00:59:49,336 Oh, snap. 775 00:59:52,297 --> 00:59:55,471 Eugene can't wait. Eugene ain't got more patience. 776 00:59:55,634 --> 00:59:58,433 Eugene needs to feel this now. 777 00:59:58,595 --> 01:00:01,098 - Yeah? Are you gonna touch it? - Yeah, I'm gonna touch it. 778 01:00:01,264 --> 01:00:03,813 I'm gonna touch it. I'm gonna touch it. 779 01:00:03,975 --> 01:00:06,273 What you got? Oh, man. 780 01:00:06,436 --> 01:00:09,690 Oh, man. Oh, man! 781 01:00:09,856 --> 01:00:14,157 You really are a man! 782 01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:21,502 A Party. and we were not invited. 783 01:00:23,286 --> 01:00:27,207 Donatello, let's give them a shot. 784 01:00:27,374 --> 01:00:28,717 Yup. 785 01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:31,594 Eugene is confused. 786 01:00:31,753 --> 01:00:33,755 Malfunction. Malfunction. 787 01:00:33,922 --> 01:00:36,266 Machine shutdown. 788 01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:58,113 Let's get out of here. 789 01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,578 But I'm also saying 790 01:01:04,744 --> 01:01:07,748 that I've never felt this way before. 791 01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:09,882 Me either. 792 01:01:10,041 --> 01:01:12,260 It's the love that dare not speak its name. 793 01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,519 - This is hot. - Yeah, this is so hot. 794 01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:24,181 No, like really hot. 795 01:01:24,347 --> 01:01:26,566 Like, I'm burning up. 796 01:01:26,725 --> 01:01:29,228 Wait, do you smell smoke? 797 01:01:36,943 --> 01:01:38,536 - Fire! - Fire! 798 01:01:44,075 --> 01:01:45,873 ♪ The gigolo, the gigolo ♪ 799 01:01:46,036 --> 01:01:47,788 ♪ Is charging twice the price ♪ 800 01:01:47,954 --> 01:01:51,083 ♪ To the priest in holy orders who lives a life of vice ♪ 801 01:01:51,249 --> 01:01:54,549 ♪ He pleads for mercy, God says no ♪ 802 01:01:54,711 --> 01:01:58,261 ♪ Swing 'em high, swing 'em low ♪ 803 01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:00,471 ♪ The old lady's savings ♪ 804 01:02:00,634 --> 01:02:02,154 ♪ Time do erode... ♪ 805 01:02:02,302 --> 01:02:04,020 ♪ She can't pay for the heating... ♪ 806 01:02:04,179 --> 01:02:06,056 It's okay. I got my hat. 807 01:02:06,223 --> 01:02:09,272 What kind of a god would turn a glee club into Cretins? 808 01:02:09,434 --> 01:02:11,812 My house. 809 01:02:11,978 --> 01:02:13,400 My house. 810 01:02:13,563 --> 01:02:16,191 After-party at my place? I got pizza rolls in the freezer. 811 01:02:16,358 --> 01:02:18,656 - Pizza rolls? - My house! 812 01:02:18,818 --> 01:02:21,492 My commemorative plates! Those fucking monsters! 813 01:02:21,655 --> 01:02:23,657 It's okay. We'll put them in the oven right now... 814 01:02:23,823 --> 01:02:25,291 sausage, pepperoni, vegan... 815 01:02:25,450 --> 01:02:29,500 Will you shut up? I didn't even invite you! 816 01:02:29,663 --> 01:02:31,757 Those bastards. 817 01:02:31,915 --> 01:02:33,633 They could have killed somebody. 818 01:03:12,956 --> 01:03:15,960 I think I'm... 819 01:04:22,525 --> 01:04:25,620 ♪ Jimmy was just coming out of school ♪ 820 01:04:25,779 --> 01:04:28,282 ♪ When the drug dealer came ♪ 821 01:04:28,448 --> 01:04:30,826 ♪ Give me some of that heroin ♪ 822 01:04:30,992 --> 01:04:33,541 ♪ Some of that cocaine ♪ 823 01:04:33,703 --> 01:04:36,252 ♪ Heroin, heroin and cocaine ♪ 824 01:04:36,414 --> 01:04:38,963 ♪ Heroin, heroin and cocaine... ♪ 825 01:04:40,418 --> 01:04:43,888 Mm, mm. 826 01:05:14,327 --> 01:05:16,170 Huh? 827 01:05:16,329 --> 01:05:20,755 ♪ Good night, ladies ♪ 828 01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:22,794 ♪ Good night ♪ 829 01:05:22,961 --> 01:05:25,134 ♪ Ladies ♪ 830 01:05:25,296 --> 01:05:29,142 ♪ Good night, ladies ♪ 831 01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:33,305 ♪ We're going to leave you now ♪ 832 01:05:33,471 --> 01:05:35,974 ♪ Merrily we roll along ♪ 833 01:05:36,141 --> 01:05:37,609 ♪ Roll along, roll along ♪ 834 01:05:37,767 --> 01:05:39,519 ♪ Merrily we roll along ♪ 835 01:05:39,686 --> 01:05:41,563 ♪ Over the dark blue sea. ♪ 836 01:05:46,693 --> 01:05:49,071 Look at these jerks. 837 01:05:49,237 --> 01:05:51,080 They call themselves Cretins. 838 01:05:51,239 --> 01:05:54,709 They look more like Glee-tins to me. 839 01:05:57,871 --> 01:06:01,091 Donatello, burn some rubber! 840 01:06:01,249 --> 01:06:03,092 Motherfuckers! 841 01:06:12,552 --> 01:06:13,724 Give me the duck. 842 01:06:15,096 --> 01:06:16,814 You wouldn't hit a cripple, would you? 843 01:06:16,973 --> 01:06:19,271 Yeah, I would. 844 01:06:23,229 --> 01:06:24,902 Hey, we was just kiddin'. 845 01:06:25,064 --> 01:06:28,068 Duck rape is life-affirming. It was on NPR. 846 01:06:28,234 --> 01:06:31,238 Oh, well, this ain't about duck rape. 847 01:06:31,404 --> 01:06:33,406 It's about dick rape. 848 01:06:33,573 --> 01:06:35,917 No! No! 849 01:06:49,088 --> 01:06:51,261 - Whoa! - Oh, shit. 850 01:07:17,534 --> 01:07:19,536 Mother's body began to change too. 851 01:07:19,702 --> 01:07:22,080 Time for the baby to leave the nest. 852 01:07:24,999 --> 01:07:27,673 Something's about to burst, and it's not my water. 853 01:07:27,835 --> 01:07:29,303 What the...? 854 01:07:33,466 --> 01:07:36,845 What the fuck? You stole my heart. 855 01:07:37,011 --> 01:07:39,560 Don't take my heart. Argh! 856 01:07:41,307 --> 01:07:43,105 Look at those cholesterol levels. 857 01:07:43,268 --> 01:07:45,270 He should have went vegan. 858 01:07:46,813 --> 01:07:48,736 My dick is hungry. 859 01:07:48,898 --> 01:07:50,070 Mm-hmm. 860 01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:54,449 Please don't hurt us. 861 01:07:56,531 --> 01:07:58,750 Wait, we're not with them. 862 01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:00,831 We're just... we're just extras. 863 01:08:00,994 --> 01:08:03,543 Yeah, that... that's it. 864 01:08:03,705 --> 01:08:05,958 ♪ Fuck mercy ♪ 865 01:08:09,377 --> 01:08:10,503 ♪ Fuck mercy. ♪ 866 01:08:14,841 --> 01:08:16,684 Uh-oh, cops. 867 01:08:16,843 --> 01:08:19,221 - Yeah, suck that dick. - Oh, snap. 868 01:08:24,767 --> 01:08:28,522 Yeah, suck that dirty, sleazy Cretin dick. 869 01:08:28,688 --> 01:08:31,612 - All right, that's enough. - The coppers? 870 01:08:31,774 --> 01:08:34,402 Fuck you, fucking cops. I'm a victim, man. 871 01:08:34,569 --> 01:08:37,118 I was born in Orange County. Coddle me. 872 01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:38,907 Hey. 873 01:08:40,533 --> 01:08:42,206 What is with the youth of today? 874 01:08:42,368 --> 01:08:44,120 We're the youth of tomorrow. 875 01:08:49,876 --> 01:08:51,549 ♪ Hurrah, hurrah ♪ 876 01:08:51,711 --> 01:08:53,839 ♪ We'll give them a hearty welcome then ♪ 877 01:08:54,005 --> 01:08:55,757 ♪ Hurrah, hurrah ♪ 878 01:08:55,923 --> 01:08:57,846 ♪ The men will cheer and the boys will shout ♪ 879 01:08:58,009 --> 01:09:00,228 ♪ The ladies, they will all turn out ♪ 880 01:09:00,386 --> 01:09:02,138 ♪ And we'll all feel gay ♪ 881 01:09:02,305 --> 01:09:04,273 ♪ When Johnny comes marching home. ♪ 882 01:09:14,484 --> 01:09:16,157 I'm so pissed. 883 01:09:16,319 --> 01:09:19,914 I need revenge. I need an outlet for my anger. 884 01:09:20,073 --> 01:09:23,953 Oh, snap. Maybe we need some new blood. 885 01:09:24,118 --> 01:09:26,837 Yes, but who? 886 01:09:26,996 --> 01:09:30,091 Excuse me. Hi. I have baked goods. 887 01:09:30,249 --> 01:09:33,253 Hey. guys. what's the haps? 888 01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:39,851 Hi. I want to join your gang. 889 01:09:43,930 --> 01:09:45,932 You think you got what it takes, lard-ass? 890 01:09:46,099 --> 01:09:50,195 I just want to belong. 891 01:09:50,353 --> 01:09:51,900 Oh-ho. 892 01:09:54,607 --> 01:09:57,201 Why don't you go get revenge on your two bitch-ass friends? 893 01:09:57,360 --> 01:09:59,237 And then we can see what we can do. 894 01:09:59,404 --> 01:10:00,451 Lauren and Chrissy? 895 01:10:00,613 --> 01:10:02,832 Yeah, dipshit. Got it? 896 01:10:04,450 --> 01:10:07,329 Go. Go, go, go. 897 01:10:07,495 --> 01:10:09,998 - Oh, snap. - Go. 898 01:10:18,881 --> 01:10:22,055 That's why they call me Cigar Face. 899 01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:26,268 Hey. Hey, hey, hey, no laughing. No laughing. 900 01:10:26,431 --> 01:10:28,809 Now listen very carefully... very carefully. 901 01:10:28,975 --> 01:10:30,693 Some of our innocent young 902 01:10:30,852 --> 01:10:32,820 glee club members from the high school 903 01:10:32,979 --> 01:10:35,323 have been savagely, savagely murdered. 904 01:10:35,481 --> 01:10:37,441 And I'm hearing that the culprits are two women... 905 01:10:37,525 --> 01:10:38,947 - Hmm? - ...one of whom... 906 01:10:39,110 --> 01:10:40,532 one of whom has a giant penis. 907 01:10:40,695 --> 01:10:42,948 Now I want you to go out and kill all women 908 01:10:43,114 --> 01:10:45,116 - with giant penises. - Oh. 909 01:10:45,283 --> 01:10:46,500 Do you understand? 910 01:10:46,659 --> 01:10:47,876 But that means every wife. 911 01:10:48,035 --> 01:10:50,163 And mother-in-law in Tromaville. 912 01:10:50,329 --> 01:10:55,380 That's the point. Now go, kill all women with giant penises. 913 01:10:55,543 --> 01:10:57,841 Sir, the president's wife is on the line. 914 01:10:58,004 --> 01:11:00,006 She heard about your planned trip to Cuba. 915 01:11:00,173 --> 01:11:01,345 She's really pissed. 916 01:11:01,507 --> 01:11:03,680 Give me that. 917 01:11:03,843 --> 01:11:05,720 I'm not making the mistake this time. 918 01:11:05,887 --> 01:11:08,436 Yes, Mrs. President. 919 01:11:10,141 --> 01:11:13,236 What? You're coming over here? You're coming... what time is it? 920 01:11:13,394 --> 01:11:14,862 - Oh! Oh! - Oh, my God. 921 01:11:23,362 --> 01:11:24,955 Uh, listen, I... 922 01:11:25,114 --> 01:11:27,583 I knew it. I blew it. You've been with better. 923 01:11:27,742 --> 01:11:29,619 Look, you don't have to tell me. I know. 924 01:11:29,786 --> 01:11:31,709 My vagina looks like a slab of roast beef. 925 01:11:31,871 --> 01:11:33,589 And I don't douche as often as I should. 926 01:11:33,748 --> 01:11:35,295 And I think I might have queefed in your mouth 927 01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:38,177 - when you went down on me. - Oh, God, stop. No. 928 01:11:38,336 --> 01:11:41,556 Are you kidding me? It was the best night of my life. 929 01:11:41,714 --> 01:11:44,388 Did you have any strange dreams? 930 01:11:46,385 --> 01:11:48,228 I had super weird dreams. 931 01:11:48,387 --> 01:11:49,604 Holy shit, me too. 932 01:11:49,764 --> 01:11:52,392 I'm still not sure if those were dreams. 933 01:11:52,558 --> 01:11:55,653 OMG, I was thinking the same exact thing. 934 01:11:55,812 --> 01:11:58,907 We could be a lesbianic Jekyll and Hyde. 935 01:12:01,067 --> 01:12:03,411 Wait, you queefed in my mouth? 936 01:12:03,569 --> 01:12:05,571 No, of course not. 937 01:12:23,256 --> 01:12:25,475 What is up, BFFs? 938 01:12:25,633 --> 01:12:27,601 STFU, Zac. 939 01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:30,183 Check it. An anonymous contributor to my blog, 940 01:12:30,346 --> 01:12:32,940 Deeper Throat, sent me some crazy videos 941 01:12:33,099 --> 01:12:35,272 of what actually goes on at Tromorganic. 942 01:12:35,434 --> 01:12:39,109 The "Tromorganic-Westly Conspiracy" has to have gone viral by now. 943 01:12:39,272 --> 01:12:41,274 Holy shit. 944 01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,488 Are those the missing Tromaville students? 945 01:12:43,651 --> 01:12:45,619 Yeah, I know. I didn't believe it myself. 946 01:12:45,778 --> 01:12:48,531 - Uh-huh. - What is that? 947 01:12:48,698 --> 01:12:50,120 Look at this part. Look at this part. 948 01:12:50,283 --> 01:12:52,126 Look what he's about to do. 949 01:12:52,285 --> 01:12:53,787 It's so crazy. 950 01:12:53,953 --> 01:12:57,798 They're being slaughtered, like Bambi's mother. 951 01:12:57,957 --> 01:13:00,801 Okay, guys, to be continued. 952 01:13:00,960 --> 01:13:03,338 Oh, snap. 953 01:13:03,504 --> 01:13:05,552 Oh, shit. 954 01:13:05,715 --> 01:13:08,476 - The Cretins are coming. - They're gonna sing again. 955 01:13:08,509 --> 01:13:10,136 ♪ Who taught me this? ♪ 956 01:13:10,303 --> 01:13:13,273 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 957 01:13:13,431 --> 01:13:15,308 ♪ All around the mulberry bush ♪ 958 01:13:15,474 --> 01:13:17,147 ♪ The monkey chased the weasel ♪ 959 01:13:17,310 --> 01:13:19,070 ♪ The monkey thought it was all in fun... ♪ 960 01:13:19,103 --> 01:13:20,980 ♪ Pop, goes the weasel. ♪ 961 01:13:54,388 --> 01:13:56,140 All right, well, 962 01:13:56,307 --> 01:13:58,025 - I gotta go to gym class. - Yeah. 963 01:13:58,184 --> 01:14:00,152 - So I'll catch you later? - Uh-huh. 964 01:14:10,863 --> 01:14:12,536 Okay, then. 965 01:14:12,698 --> 01:14:14,166 See ya. 966 01:14:14,325 --> 01:14:15,747 - Bye. - Bye. 967 01:14:15,910 --> 01:14:18,254 ♪ I'm calling ♪ 968 01:14:18,412 --> 01:14:21,382 ♪ But no one will be... ♪ 969 01:14:27,755 --> 01:14:30,133 NASA also gave us some pretty interesting 970 01:14:30,299 --> 01:14:31,892 derivatives of the space program: 971 01:14:32,051 --> 01:14:34,975 not just Tang... America's favorite breakfast drink, 972 01:14:35,137 --> 01:14:37,981 but there's the Challenger explosion of 1986... 973 01:14:38,140 --> 01:14:40,438 America's favorite shuttle disaster, 974 01:14:40,601 --> 01:14:43,354 and also... 975 01:14:43,521 --> 01:14:45,398 lasers! 976 01:14:48,150 --> 01:14:51,780 When the rubble cleared after the nuclear meltdown 977 01:14:51,946 --> 01:14:53,914 from the original "Class of Nuke 'Em High," 978 01:14:54,073 --> 01:14:56,246 this laser was all that was left. 979 01:14:56,409 --> 01:15:01,255 And, might I add, this laser is highly unstable. 980 01:15:01,414 --> 01:15:03,508 But I'm sure it no longer works. 981 01:15:08,921 --> 01:15:11,925 Mother of fuck. 982 01:15:12,091 --> 01:15:13,343 Let's go. 983 01:15:13,509 --> 01:15:15,887 We'll never beat Amorville with that attitude. 984 01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:23,398 Come on, work those thumbs. 985 01:15:23,561 --> 01:15:25,859 What, are you a bunch of girls? 986 01:15:35,031 --> 01:15:36,578 Do you have a...? 987 01:15:36,741 --> 01:15:39,039 Sorry. 988 01:15:39,201 --> 01:15:41,704 Okay, hit the showers. 989 01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:49,755 Lasers can also 990 01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:54,221 apparently blind. 991 01:15:54,383 --> 01:15:57,683 Mr. Chips. Mr. Chips. 992 01:15:59,805 --> 01:16:01,682 Can I have a pee-pee pass, please? 993 01:16:01,849 --> 01:16:05,570 Fine. Fine, Zac, just go. 994 01:16:10,483 --> 01:16:13,236 Why don't these fucks in the ether believe my blog? 995 01:16:13,402 --> 01:16:15,154 What you got there, fucker? 996 01:16:21,494 --> 01:16:22,837 Hey, cunt, give it back. 997 01:16:22,995 --> 01:16:26,920 Is that granny's douche bag or is that just you? 998 01:16:27,083 --> 01:16:29,051 Nice dicks, faggot. 999 01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:33,047 Yeah. Uh, Mr. Chips, 1000 01:16:33,214 --> 01:16:36,593 Mr. Chips, our Chrissy here is blogging in class. 1001 01:16:38,677 --> 01:16:40,304 Okay, you want your phone back? 1002 01:16:40,471 --> 01:16:42,519 You want your phone back, you little dyke-tron? 1003 01:16:42,681 --> 01:16:45,651 Go fucking get it. 1004 01:16:51,107 --> 01:16:53,405 You filthy little cunt. 1005 01:16:58,364 --> 01:17:01,208 Fight, fight, fight, fight! 1006 01:17:01,367 --> 01:17:06,376 You just fucked with the wrong postapocalyptic hell bitch. 1007 01:17:18,134 --> 01:17:19,477 Give me a break. 1008 01:17:28,769 --> 01:17:30,646 Why? 1009 01:17:35,776 --> 01:17:38,825 Why? 1010 01:17:40,823 --> 01:17:43,076 Fucking middleman! 1011 01:17:44,869 --> 01:17:48,794 Both of you, to the principal's office now. 1012 01:17:48,956 --> 01:17:50,128 She started it. 1013 01:17:50,291 --> 01:17:53,921 In that case, Chrissy Goldberg to the principal's office. 1014 01:17:54,086 --> 01:17:55,929 You've got to be kidding me. 1015 01:17:56,088 --> 01:17:58,682 Now! 1016 01:17:58,841 --> 01:18:00,718 - Fucker. - Fuck you. 1017 01:18:00,885 --> 01:18:02,979 Fuck you. 1018 01:18:03,137 --> 01:18:06,061 Would one of you kind students 1019 01:18:06,223 --> 01:18:09,443 please lead me to the eyewash station? 1020 01:18:09,602 --> 01:18:11,229 Oh. 1021 01:19:15,209 --> 01:19:17,211 ♪ What's going on ♪ 1022 01:19:18,837 --> 01:19:21,010 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 1023 01:19:21,173 --> 01:19:23,175 ♪ What's going on ♪ 1024 01:19:24,843 --> 01:19:27,016 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 1025 01:19:27,179 --> 01:19:30,228 ♪ What's going on ♪ 1026 01:19:30,391 --> 01:19:32,519 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 1027 01:19:32,685 --> 01:19:34,687 ♪ What's going on ♪ 1028 01:19:36,355 --> 01:19:39,279 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 1029 01:19:39,441 --> 01:19:41,284 ♪ Nuke 'Em High ♪ 1030 01:19:42,653 --> 01:19:47,079 ♪ Nuke 'Em High, Nuke 'Em High ♪ 1031 01:19:48,409 --> 01:19:50,878 ♪ Nuke 'Em High ♪ 1032 01:19:51,036 --> 01:19:53,880 ♪ Evacuation, there's no need ♪ 1033 01:19:54,039 --> 01:19:56,883 ♪ They say it's safe, but talk is cheap ♪ 1034 01:19:57,042 --> 01:19:59,886 ♪ And as we all contaminate ♪ 1035 01:20:00,045 --> 01:20:03,015 ♪ It's ignorance that seals our fate ♪ 1036 01:20:03,173 --> 01:20:05,722 ♪ I just ♪ 1037 01:20:05,884 --> 01:20:08,637 ♪ Really want to know ♪ 1038 01:20:08,804 --> 01:20:11,432 ♪ I just ♪ 1039 01:20:11,598 --> 01:20:13,726 ♪ Really want to know ♪ 1040 01:20:13,892 --> 01:20:15,894 ♪ What's going on ♪ 1041 01:20:17,521 --> 01:20:19,694 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 1042 01:20:19,857 --> 01:20:22,201 ♪ What's going on ♪ 1043 01:20:23,569 --> 01:20:25,697 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 1044 01:20:25,863 --> 01:20:28,912 ♪ What's going on ♪ 1045 01:20:29,074 --> 01:20:31,247 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 1046 01:20:31,410 --> 01:20:33,412 ♪ What's going on ♪ 1047 01:20:35,039 --> 01:20:38,088 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 1048 01:21:01,774 --> 01:21:04,368 ♪ I just ♪ 1049 01:21:04,526 --> 01:21:07,279 ♪ Really want to know ♪ 1050 01:21:07,446 --> 01:21:10,074 ♪ I just ♪ 1051 01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:14,040 ♪ Really want to know, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 1052 01:21:14,203 --> 01:21:16,205 ♪ What's going on ♪ 1053 01:21:17,790 --> 01:21:19,963 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 1054 01:21:20,125 --> 01:21:22,469 ♪ What's going on ♪ 1055 01:21:23,837 --> 01:21:25,965 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 1056 01:21:26,131 --> 01:21:29,226 ♪ What's going on ♪ 1057 01:21:29,385 --> 01:21:31,513 ♪ At Nuke 'Em High? ♪ 1058 01:21:31,678 --> 01:21:35,524 ♪ What's going on ♪ 1059 01:21:35,682 --> 01:21:39,528 ♪ At Nuke 'Em ♪ 1060 01:21:39,686 --> 01:21:44,658 ♪ High? ♪ 1061 01:21:58,330 --> 01:22:01,334 ♪ I just moved to town ♪ 1062 01:22:01,500 --> 01:22:04,754 ♪ Everyone brings me down ♪ 1063 01:22:04,920 --> 01:22:08,015 ♪ All I had was my duck ♪ 1064 01:22:08,173 --> 01:22:11,177 ♪ But he ran away ♪ 1065 01:22:11,343 --> 01:22:14,267 ♪ What else can I say? ♪ 1066 01:22:14,430 --> 01:22:17,650 ♪ I guess I'll just turn gay ♪ 1067 01:22:17,808 --> 01:22:21,062 ♪ With a girl who treats me bad ♪ 1068 01:22:21,228 --> 01:22:23,606 ♪ It's because she don't have a dad ♪ 1069 01:22:23,772 --> 01:22:27,868 ♪ I sure hope I'm not giving the plot away. ♪ 1070 01:22:36,869 --> 01:22:41,591 ♪ And so your life's been a success ♪ 1071 01:22:41,748 --> 01:22:46,219 ♪ And you have pleasure in excess ♪ 1072 01:22:46,378 --> 01:22:50,599 ♪ Don't worry, it will all end soon ♪ 1073 01:22:50,757 --> 01:22:55,263 ♪ The crack of doom is coming soon ♪ 1074 01:22:55,429 --> 01:22:59,684 ♪ And so your future's looking bright ♪ 1075 01:22:59,850 --> 01:23:03,821 ♪ And you've reached the giddy heights ♪ 1076 01:23:03,979 --> 01:23:06,573 ♪ Don't worry ♪ 1077 01:23:06,732 --> 01:23:08,450 ♪ It will soon end ♪ 1078 01:23:08,609 --> 01:23:12,785 ♪ It is all shallow and pretend ♪ 1079 01:23:12,946 --> 01:23:16,792 ♪ The crack of doom is coming soon ♪ 1080 01:23:16,950 --> 01:23:19,123 ♪ The crack of doom ♪ 1081 01:23:19,286 --> 01:23:21,254 ♪ Is coming soon ♪ 1082 01:23:21,413 --> 01:23:24,087 ♪ Ha, ha, ha ♪ 1083 01:23:24,249 --> 01:23:27,753 ♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪ 1084 01:23:27,920 --> 01:23:29,422 ♪ Ha ♪ 1085 01:23:29,588 --> 01:23:31,590 ♪ And so your life ♪ 1086 01:23:31,757 --> 01:23:33,851 ♪ Your life has failed ♪ 1087 01:23:34,009 --> 01:23:37,934 ♪ You've made the progress of a snail ♪ 1088 01:23:38,096 --> 01:23:42,602 ♪ Don't worry, you'll get your revenge ♪ 1089 01:23:42,768 --> 01:23:46,443 ♪ For we're all equal in the end ♪ 1090 01:23:46,605 --> 01:23:50,576 ♪ The small and mighty all the same ♪ 1091 01:23:50,734 --> 01:23:55,114 ♪ This life a shallow, facile game ♪ 1092 01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:59,160 ♪ Where every empire turns to dust ♪ 1093 01:23:59,326 --> 01:24:03,081 ♪ And every ego will be crushed ♪ 1094 01:24:03,247 --> 01:24:07,343 ♪ The crack of doom is coming soon ♪ 1095 01:24:07,501 --> 01:24:11,051 ♪ The crack of doom is coming soon ♪ 1096 01:24:11,213 --> 01:24:13,136 ♪ Ha, ha, ha ♪ 1097 01:24:13,298 --> 01:24:16,472 ♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪ 1098 01:24:16,635 --> 01:24:18,888 ♪ Ha, ha, ha ♪ 1099 01:24:19,054 --> 01:24:22,058 ♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪ 1100 01:24:22,224 --> 01:24:24,477 ♪ Ha, ha, ha ♪ 1101 01:24:24,643 --> 01:24:27,738 ♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪ 1102 01:24:27,896 --> 01:24:30,149 ♪ Ha, ha, ha ♪ 1103 01:24:30,315 --> 01:24:33,319 ♪ And every dream, hope and desire ♪ 1104 01:24:33,485 --> 01:24:36,659 ♪ Is just a flicker in the fire ♪ 1105 01:24:36,822 --> 01:24:39,917 ♪ And the fire, it will consume ♪ 1106 01:24:40,075 --> 01:24:42,749 ♪ The crack of doom is coming soon ♪ 1107 01:24:42,911 --> 01:24:45,755 ♪ The crack of doom is coming soon ♪ 1108 01:24:45,914 --> 01:24:48,588 ♪ The crack of doom is coming soon ♪ 1109 01:24:48,750 --> 01:24:51,344 ♪ The crack of doom is coming soon ♪ 1110 01:24:51,503 --> 01:24:54,097 ♪ The crack of doom is coming soon ♪ 1111 01:24:54,256 --> 01:24:56,759 ♪ The crack of doom is coming soon ♪ 1112 01:24:56,925 --> 01:24:59,474 ♪ The crack of doom is coming soon ♪ 1113 01:24:59,636 --> 01:25:02,014 ♪ The crack of doom is coming soon ♪ 1114 01:25:02,180 --> 01:25:05,730 ♪ The crack of doom ♪80492

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