Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:05,280
[man panting]
2
00:00:05,330 --> 00:00:06,550
Hey, Calvin.
3
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,160
Hey, how was your run?
4
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,510
Oh, it was great; I did five
miles but I could really use...
5
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,120
...some new shoes.
6
00:00:17,170 --> 00:00:18,510
Oh, my bad.
7
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,560
I thought you were
gonna say "cool down."
8
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,390
Hey, did you see the ambulance
9
00:00:22,430 --> 00:00:23,560
in front of Mr. Benson's
last night?
10
00:00:23,610 --> 00:00:25,000
Yeah.
11
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,000
Any idea what happened?
I want to get some intel
12
00:00:27,050 --> 00:00:28,610
so I can update our
neighborhood Facebook page.
13
00:00:28,660 --> 00:00:30,790
We have a neighborhood
Facebook page?
14
00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:32,090
How many people are on it?
15
00:00:32,140 --> 00:00:33,790
[chuckles] Well,
as soon as you accept
16
00:00:33,830 --> 00:00:35,310
my friend request, two.
17
00:00:37,140 --> 00:00:38,750
So do you know what happened
to Mr. Benson?
18
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,150
Yeah.
19
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:41,540
He dead.
20
00:00:41,580 --> 00:00:44,150
Whoa, wha-what? Calvin.
21
00:00:44,190 --> 00:00:45,850
That-- that's terrible.
22
00:00:45,890 --> 00:00:47,630
You wouldn't say that
if you knew him.
23
00:00:47,670 --> 00:00:49,150
I mean...
24
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,030
there's a reason that people
in this neighborhood
25
00:00:51,070 --> 00:00:52,810
called him
"Mean Mr. Benson."
26
00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:55,120
I didn't know they
called him that.
27
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:56,600
Yeah, probably like
you don't know
28
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,290
they call you "Bobblehead Dave."
29
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,120
Oh, I know it
and I love it.
30
00:01:03,390 --> 00:01:05,740
So what was so mean
about Mr. Benson?
31
00:01:05,780 --> 00:01:07,960
Oh, everything.
The man has terrorized
32
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,480
this neighborhood
since I was a kid.
33
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,350
Always yelling at people
to cut their grass
34
00:01:12,390 --> 00:01:14,440
or pull their trash cans up.
35
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,490
And if ever I had a ball
or a Frisbee go into his yard,
36
00:01:17,530 --> 00:01:19,310
never saw it again.
37
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:21,320
[chuckles] You know,
that actually reminds me.
38
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,280
I accidentally
threw our Frisbee
39
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,580
into your backyard
the other day.
40
00:01:24,620 --> 00:01:26,370
Green one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
41
00:01:26,410 --> 00:01:27,710
Haven't seen it.
42
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,760
Well, you know--
43
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,940
I'm sure Mr. Benson
wasn't all bad.
44
00:01:32,980 --> 00:01:34,370
I mean, take my
Aunt Phyllis.
45
00:01:34,420 --> 00:01:37,030
Nobody liked her,
but once you got over the fact
46
00:01:37,070 --> 00:01:38,810
that she treated her pets
better than people
47
00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:41,030
and pretty much despised
all of humanity,
48
00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:43,640
she made the most delicious
rhubarb pie.
49
00:01:45,210 --> 00:01:47,910
Well, Mr. Benson was so mean,
50
00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:50,350
not even the Jehovah's Witnesses
would knock on his door.
51
00:01:50,390 --> 00:01:51,780
And they talk to anybody.
52
00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:54,740
I know, aren't
they the best?
53
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:57,610
But then they're always like,
"We got to go now, Dave."
54
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,400
So, do you know when
they're having his funeral?
55
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,360
I don't know.
He was such a loner.
56
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,140
There probably
won't be one.
57
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:07,580
And even if there was,
no one would go.
58
00:02:07,620 --> 00:02:09,930
Man, that's so sad, Calvin.
59
00:02:09,970 --> 00:02:11,240
Yeah...
We should
do something
60
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,150
to remember him.
61
00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:16,420
We should put his death on
the neighborhood Facebook page.
62
00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:19,110
What-- So you'll accept
my friend request?
63
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,380
Sure. Just as soon
as he does.
64
00:02:23,340 --> 00:02:25,250
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
65
00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:26,250
♪ Welcome to the hood.
66
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:35,170
Mm.
67
00:02:35,220 --> 00:02:36,480
Oh.
68
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,180
Okay.
69
00:02:38,220 --> 00:02:40,480
"Ten Ways to Please Your Man."
70
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:44,920
All right, well, let's see
71
00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:47,270
what's on the menu
for this weekend.
72
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,490
Okay, okay, I ain't mad at that.
73
00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:51,580
I see you, number seven.
74
00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:53,320
[chuckling]:
Okay.
75
00:02:53,370 --> 00:02:55,450
Oh, number nine, you just
a little ol' freak.
76
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:57,590
[laughs]
77
00:02:57,630 --> 00:03:01,370
Let's see what number ten is--
Oh, hell no.
78
00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:02,550
No, nuh-uh, oh.
79
00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:04,550
No, uh-uh.
80
00:03:04,590 --> 00:03:05,860
[grunts]
81
00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:07,250
Oh.
82
00:03:07,290 --> 00:03:08,600
[Tina grunting]
83
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,470
Hey, babe. Oh, hey, Calvin.
84
00:03:10,510 --> 00:03:12,210
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's all this?
85
00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,260
Well, we just came
from the church meeting
86
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:15,690
about Mr. Benson passing.
87
00:03:15,740 --> 00:03:17,430
And since he didn't
have any people,
88
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:19,430
I offered to throw
the repass here.
89
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,390
What?
And then I discovered
90
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,570
that a repass was kind of like
a funeral after-party
91
00:03:23,610 --> 00:03:25,530
and we were off to the races.
92
00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:28,660
Uh, hold on, Tina.
93
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:32,010
We're not hosting a repass
for somebody I hated.
94
00:03:32,060 --> 00:03:34,800
I wouldn't host one for
myself and I love me.
95
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,800
[chuckles]
96
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,710
Look, I didn't like him
any more than you
97
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,500
but it's the Christian thing
to do and besides,
98
00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:42,940
I've thrown plenty of stuff
for you that I didn't want to.
99
00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:44,630
Like what? Like that end of the year
banquet
100
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,640
for your bowling team
where you all just
101
00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,590
sat around and complained
about being robbed.
102
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,030
They overwaxed the lanes, Tina.
103
00:03:51,070 --> 00:03:52,470
[groans]
104
00:03:53,510 --> 00:03:56,520
You know, this repass
has your name
105
00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:57,950
written all over it.
106
00:03:57,990 --> 00:03:59,300
Oh, you mean like my Frisbee?
107
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,520
Hey--
108
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,520
Calvin, don't worry, okay?
109
00:04:03,570 --> 00:04:05,790
I'm pitching in, too:
I'm picking up flowers
110
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:08,270
and I volunteered
to say a few words on
111
00:04:08,310 --> 00:04:10,440
on Mr. Benson's behalf. But you didn't
even know the man.
112
00:04:10,490 --> 00:04:11,750
And I'm about to change that.
113
00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:13,230
I'm gonna ask people
in the neighborhood
114
00:04:13,270 --> 00:04:14,580
for their fond
memories of him.
115
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:16,710
Oh, okay.
Here's one.
116
00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:18,410
For Halloween,
he threw rocks at me
117
00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:21,450
and yelled at me,
"Get off my lawn, Wack Ninja!"
118
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,630
I wasn't even a ninja, Dave.
119
00:04:24,670 --> 00:04:26,200
I was a black ghost.
120
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,460
[laughs] Okay.
121
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,380
Calvin, I've never seen
a black ghost.
122
00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:32,070
Well, trust me.
In this neighborhood,
123
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,340
you don't want to walk around
with a white sheet
124
00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:36,380
over your head.
Okay.
125
00:04:36,420 --> 00:04:39,510
Fine, you know what?
Maybe Mr. Benson was
126
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,340
a little bit grumpy.
127
00:04:41,390 --> 00:04:43,560
But I believe that if
you look hard enough,
128
00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:45,650
there's something nice
to say about everybody.
129
00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:48,180
Oh, see? This is about
your bitter old aunt
130
00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:49,740
and her bitter rhubarb pie.
131
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:50,870
Oh, no, no, no.
132
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,220
My aunt was bitter.
133
00:04:53,270 --> 00:04:55,440
The rhubarb pie was
incredible, Calvin.
134
00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:02,580
It's so nice of you guys
to host Mr. Benson's repass.
135
00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:04,280
Well, it's the
right thing to do.
136
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,450
Get the neighborhood
together,
137
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,630
everybody brings
food and bam!
138
00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:09,500
There's enough leftovers
that Mama doesn't
139
00:05:09,540 --> 00:05:12,070
have to cook for a week.[laughs]
140
00:05:12,110 --> 00:05:13,850
Hey, Mom.
141
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,590
Hi, sweetie.
142
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,340
I've been thinking
about Mr. Benson.
143
00:05:17,380 --> 00:05:19,120
Where do people go
when they die?
144
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,770
Oh, um...
145
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,510
uh, well...
146
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,860
that's a good question.
147
00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:27,740
And the answer
is very complicated.
148
00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:29,650
You see, existence
is a complex thing...
149
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:32,610
Do you know, Miss Tina?
150
00:05:32,650 --> 00:05:35,140
Well, of course I do.
151
00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:38,570
If you're good, you go
to this glorious place
152
00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:41,620
in the sky called Heaven,
filled with angels
153
00:05:41,660 --> 00:05:43,670
and toys and all the
candy you can eat.
154
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,320
Cool.
155
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,230
See, Mom? Simple.
156
00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:52,590
Well, that wasn't exactly
the answer I was gonna give.
157
00:05:52,630 --> 00:05:54,940
I know, girl, but I
got a repass to plan.
158
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,550
We would have
been here all day.
[chuckles]
159
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:59,550
I didn't even think about
all the questions
160
00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:01,420
this was gonna raise for Grover.
161
00:06:01,470 --> 00:06:03,860
Well, why don't you just
tell him what you think?
162
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:06,690
Because that's exactly
what my parents did to me.
163
00:06:06,730 --> 00:06:08,300
They told me what to believe.
164
00:06:08,340 --> 00:06:10,610
I-I'd rather have Grover
figure it out for himself.
165
00:06:10,650 --> 00:06:12,260
I respect that.
166
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:14,700
I mean, it's blasphemous,
but I respect it.
167
00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:16,130
[laughs]
168
00:06:18,740 --> 00:06:20,490
Hmm.
169
00:06:21,490 --> 00:06:23,100
And what's this?
170
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:31,450
Looks like somebody wants
an early birthday present.
171
00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:36,020
CALVIN:
Hey, babe.Hey.
172
00:06:36,070 --> 00:06:37,500
Got the food for the repass.
173
00:06:42,070 --> 00:06:44,900
Calvin, what is this?
I told you to get finger foods.
174
00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:46,470
Oh, I did.
175
00:06:46,510 --> 00:06:48,560
You can eat these day-old
bagels with your fingers.
176
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,340
Oh, he's just
being cheap because
177
00:06:52,390 --> 00:06:53,870
Mean Mr. Benson
never paid him
178
00:06:53,910 --> 00:06:56,040
for mowing the lawn
in the summer of '79.
179
00:06:56,090 --> 00:06:57,960
Oh, I'm sorry.
180
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,830
Is there a statute
of limitations
181
00:06:59,870 --> 00:07:01,740
on making a black ghost cry?
182
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,440
Calvin, don't you think
183
00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:05,700
you're being
a little ridiculous?
184
00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:07,050
Just let it go.
185
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:08,490
Oh.
186
00:07:08,530 --> 00:07:09,580
This from the lady
who had to switch
187
00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:11,710
grocery stores for
being called out
188
00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:15,630
for having more than 12
items in the express lane.
189
00:07:15,670 --> 00:07:18,020
If they're gonna
count gum as an item,
190
00:07:18,060 --> 00:07:19,720
it shouldn't be at the register.
191
00:07:21,980 --> 00:07:23,640
Hey, hey.
192
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,550
Turns out half
my childhood
193
00:07:25,590 --> 00:07:27,680
was in Mean Mr. Benson's
backyard. [chuckles]
194
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,510
Oh, lookee here.
195
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,640
It's Marty's little army doll.
196
00:07:32,690 --> 00:07:34,730
Hey, man. He was
a prisoner of war
197
00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:36,650
for 15 years.
198
00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:41,300
Welcome home, soldier.
199
00:07:42,310 --> 00:07:44,660
So much has changed.
[groans]
200
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:46,180
Oh, what's that?
201
00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:47,660
Oh, no, Malcolm
still lives here.
202
00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:53,320
Mom, what's a massage parlor?
203
00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,580
What? What--
204
00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:57,500
Why would you ask that?
205
00:07:57,540 --> 00:07:59,760
I'm looking for
Heaven on Google Maps
206
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,200
and it says it's
a massage parlor in Koreatown.
207
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:03,980
Oh, okay, I-I, uh...
208
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:07,110
I think that's enough
screen time for today.
209
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,940
Hey.
210
00:08:08,980 --> 00:08:10,770
I've been meaning
to talk to you about
211
00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:12,730
what Miss Tina said
about Heaven.
212
00:08:12,770 --> 00:08:14,770
Okay.
It's just that
213
00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:18,560
not everyone sees "heaven"
the same way Miss Tina does.
214
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,560
They don't?
No.
215
00:08:20,610 --> 00:08:23,560
For example, some people
believe that heaven
216
00:08:23,610 --> 00:08:25,220
exists inside your heart.
217
00:08:25,260 --> 00:08:28,530
And others believe that
heaven is here on Earth
218
00:08:28,570 --> 00:08:30,310
and that our souls
just keep coming back
219
00:08:30,350 --> 00:08:33,180
as a new being,
like a turtle or a horse.
220
00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:36,530
Cool. I want to come
back as a dung beetle.
221
00:08:36,580 --> 00:08:38,320
What?
222
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,190
Why would you want that?
223
00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:42,450
It's the world's
strongest insect.
224
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,590
It can carry a thousand
times its body weight.
225
00:08:45,630 --> 00:08:48,330
Yes. Of dung.
226
00:08:48,370 --> 00:08:50,160
I know!
227
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,770
Hey, Dad, I'm gonna be
a dung beetle.
228
00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:56,120
Oh, awesome, buddy.
World's strongest insect.
229
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,560
[sighs]
230
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,600
Hey, babe.
Hey.
231
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,600
Did you have any luck
finding out about Mr. Benson?
232
00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:05,040
No. I went door-to-door
through the entire neighborhood
233
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,690
and the only thing
I heard about him
234
00:09:06,740 --> 00:09:09,220
was that he was from New Orleans
235
00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:12,480
and they wish he had died there.
236
00:09:12,530 --> 00:09:14,830
Geez, he sounds like
a real Aunt Phyllis.
237
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,230
I know, but you--
238
00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:19,530
I'm not giving up until
I find his rhubarb pie.
239
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:21,360
And you will.
240
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,320
Because you can find
the good in anybody.
241
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:24,580
Thank you.
242
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,370
But you really got
to stop inviting
243
00:09:26,410 --> 00:09:27,850
the Jehovah's Witnesses
to stay for dinner.
244
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,330
Hey, Miss Kim.
Uh, I knocked on your door
245
00:09:35,380 --> 00:09:36,900
earlier, but I guess
you weren't home.
246
00:09:36,940 --> 00:09:38,900
Oh, no, I was there.
247
00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:40,290
I saw you, Bobblehead Dave.
248
00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:43,730
I, well, you know,
I was just wondering
249
00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:45,690
if you had any positive memories
about Mr. Benson
250
00:09:45,730 --> 00:09:48,080
from before he died.No.
251
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:49,690
That old bastard.
252
00:09:52,130 --> 00:09:55,480
Tina, how much did we
pay for all this food?
253
00:09:55,530 --> 00:09:57,350
About a half
a bowling party,
254
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,920
not including the trophies
you bought yourselves.
255
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:02,970
Well, I think it's a
waste of our money
256
00:10:03,010 --> 00:10:04,840
and a waste of
our hospitality.
257
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,710
And why nobody
eating these bagels?
Oh, no.
258
00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:08,320
[pained grunt]
259
00:10:11,930 --> 00:10:13,980
They're delicious.
260
00:10:15,150 --> 00:10:17,940
Oh, shoot, here comes
Miss Kim. Hide me.
261
00:10:17,980 --> 00:10:20,940
Oop-- [laughs]
Too late.
No, no, no.
262
00:10:20,990 --> 00:10:22,940
Oh, Marty.
263
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,210
Aren't you looking
like a whole snack?
264
00:10:26,770 --> 00:10:28,560
Uh, don't you mean
Malcolm?
265
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,910
Ah, Malcolm
got too old.
266
00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:32,740
[laughs]
267
00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:35,090
Well, little brother,
do not break her heart.
268
00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:36,740
Or her hip.
269
00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:38,220
[clears throat]
270
00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:40,660
Marty, you know, I
need someone young
271
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:42,530
to keep up
with me and...
272
00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:44,270
you look like you've
been working out.
273
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:49,010
Well, you know, I have been
taking the stairs at work.
274
00:10:50,670 --> 00:10:52,410
[both shouting]
275
00:10:52,450 --> 00:10:54,020
CALVIN:
Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
276
00:10:54,060 --> 00:10:57,110
You want to run, go outside.
277
00:10:57,150 --> 00:10:59,630
And who left my door open?
278
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:02,550
I'm not trying to air condition
the whole neighborhood.
279
00:11:02,590 --> 00:11:04,860
You don't have the A/C on.
280
00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:07,290
Well, they don't know that.
281
00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:09,430
Hey, little boy, come on,
get out of my chair.
282
00:11:09,470 --> 00:11:10,780
You don't have a job,
283
00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,470
you haven't earned
the right to recline.
284
00:11:14,910 --> 00:11:18,000
Fine. Mean Mr. Butler.
285
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,090
W-What'd you call me?
286
00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:22,530
He called you Mean Mr. Butler,
you old bastard.
287
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,750
Hey, guys, I really
need your help.
288
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,280
It's down to the wire and no one
has said a single nice thing
289
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,630
about Mr. Benson.
290
00:11:36,670 --> 00:11:38,500
Do you have anything
I can work with?
291
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:39,800
Well, there was
that one summer he hired us
292
00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:41,280
to plant a vegetable garden.
293
00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:43,940
Oh, right, we grew all those
beautiful tomato plants.
294
00:11:43,980 --> 00:11:46,380
That's exactly
what I'm looking for.
295
00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:47,900
Yeah, then he pelted us
with them
296
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:51,080
when we rode our bikes
on the sidewalk.
297
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,380
Okay, well, uh,
298
00:11:52,430 --> 00:11:53,990
so far, that's the one to beat.
299
00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,830
Hey, I just got called
Mean Mr. Butler.
300
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:01,870
What? By who?
301
00:12:01,910 --> 00:12:03,920
That little punk,
Apple Head Fred.
302
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,350
Oh.
Oh.
303
00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:07,350
What is he talking about?
I'm not mean.
304
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,970
Well, Dad, just last week,
you called the city
305
00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:12,790
on Kayla Watkins's
lemonade stand
306
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,580
because she didn't have
a "permit."
307
00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:16,580
I was looking out
for the neighborhood.
308
00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:19,760
That little hustler was cutting
the sugar with Sweet'N Low.
309
00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:24,280
Yeah, you're a real pillar
of the community, Pop.
310
00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:25,810
That's what I keep saying.
311
00:12:25,850 --> 00:12:28,330
Look, everybody around
here loves me.
312
00:12:28,370 --> 00:12:30,200
Especially the kids.
You know what?
313
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,380
I'll prove it. Oh, no, no.
No.
314
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:32,510
No, no, no. No, don't. No.
315
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:34,510
No...
316
00:12:34,550 --> 00:12:36,990
Hey, little rascals.
317
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,210
Who wants cake?
318
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,820
M-Mom...
319
00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:46,650
Berlene, you better toughen
that little boy up,
320
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,260
'cause he's gonna get
beat up in high school.
321
00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:53,360
So has Grover figured out
the afterlife for himself yet?
322
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,140
Yep,
323
00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:58,450
and he wants to come back as
the world's most disgusting bug.
324
00:12:58,490 --> 00:13:00,410
[laughs]
325
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:02,230
You must be proud.
326
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,020
You know what? I am.
327
00:13:04,060 --> 00:13:06,540
He's a smart kid.
He'll figure it out.
328
00:13:06,590 --> 00:13:09,070
Can I ask you a question?
329
00:13:09,110 --> 00:13:10,240
Sure.
330
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,420
Do you believe in heaven?
331
00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:13,330
Yeah, I do.
332
00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:17,550
But I mean, how can any of us
be sure what it's really like?
333
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,560
It's called faith, Gemma.
334
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,040
It's like driving around
with an expired license.
335
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,690
You got to trust and believe
that you won't get caught.
336
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,740
And so far, I haven't.
That's Jesus.
337
00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:32,260
[laughs] Well, I guess the good
thing is we all get to paint
338
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:34,270
our own picture of
what heaven is.
339
00:13:34,310 --> 00:13:36,310
Well, all I know is,
in my heaven,
340
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,310
everybody that I love is there.
341
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,880
Ooh, and they're waiting for me
at a Prince concert.
342
00:13:40,930 --> 00:13:42,360
[both laugh]
343
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,890
In my heaven, it's
the Backstreet Boys.
344
00:13:44,930 --> 00:13:47,110
Ooh, and I can eat
all the cheesecake I want
345
00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:49,150
and never gain a single pound.
346
00:13:49,190 --> 00:13:52,890
Well, Gemma Johnson,
I hope to see you in my heaven.
347
00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:54,680
Aw, I hope I see you in mine.
348
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,680
And if you go first,
will you save me a seat
349
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,290
at your Prince concert? Oh, most definitely.
350
00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:01,990
And if I go first, I'll save you
a spot at the Backstreet Boys.
351
00:14:03,030 --> 00:14:04,380
I'm good.
352
00:14:04,430 --> 00:14:06,560
[chuckles]
353
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,560
Hey, Kayla.
354
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,090
Nice seeing you... Don't even.
355
00:14:11,130 --> 00:14:13,310
You shut down
my lemonade stand.
356
00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:17,050
Snitch.
357
00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:21,010
Well, it's people like you
that make it hard
358
00:14:21,050 --> 00:14:23,320
to support black businesses.
359
00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:28,490
Well, okay, to answer
your question, Grover,
360
00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:31,240
as scientists, we learn about
the law of conservation,
361
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,110
which states that
energy can neither be
362
00:14:33,150 --> 00:14:34,800
created nor destroyed.
363
00:14:34,850 --> 00:14:37,200
But if my mama asks, it's what?
364
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,200
All Jesus all the time.
365
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,200
Yeah.
366
00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:43,030
What do you think, Malcolm?
367
00:14:43,070 --> 00:14:44,810
Well, there's actually
this great book...
368
00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:46,340
I'm out. Yeah, me, too.
369
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,130
So, so, what I'm saying is
370
00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:55,040
that Mean Mr. Benson might
just be the most repulsive,
371
00:14:55,090 --> 00:14:58,920
vile, despicable human
I've ever come across.
372
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,620
And I hope he rots in hell.
373
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:05,620
Okay. Well...
374
00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:07,970
Thanks, Reverend.
375
00:15:08,010 --> 00:15:09,800
CALVIN:
Hey, Dave.
376
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,800
Thank God, man, look,
377
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,580
I need to hear this.
Please tell me,
378
00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:16,760
there's something good
in everyone, right?
379
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,370
I wish I could, but it's a lie.
380
00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:22,030
It is a damn, dirty lie.
381
00:15:22,070 --> 00:15:25,120
No, no. Come on,
that's not true.
382
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,380
It-- no, some people
will only be remembered
383
00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:30,160
for yelling at children
and bossing people around
384
00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:34,170
and spewing negativity
up and down the streets.
385
00:15:34,210 --> 00:15:36,520
Well, when you say it like that,
it sounds bad.
386
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,000
Dave, if you're gonna say
something, say it now.
387
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,700
These vultures got me down
to one day of leftovers.
388
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,350
You know what, Tina?
389
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,880
I don't think I'm going to,
390
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,360
because for the first
time in my life,
391
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,060
I don't have
anything good to say.
392
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,270
No, Dave, do not talk like that.
393
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,190
Come on, man.
394
00:15:55,230 --> 00:15:57,190
It's like I tell everyone,
395
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,020
if you look hard enough,
396
00:15:59,060 --> 00:16:01,280
you can find the good
in everybody.
397
00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:05,980
Dad, you have
100% never said that.
398
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,330
Uh, but you have said,
399
00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:11,380
"I wish The Purge
was a real thing."
Yes.
400
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:15,080
Well, obviously,
you just don't know me.
401
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,390
Just like you didn't know
Mr. Benson.
402
00:16:17,430 --> 00:16:19,260
Yo, can I have
everyone's attention?
403
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:23,040
Come on. Everybody just gather
around here. Come on, now.
404
00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:26,440
We are here to celebrate
the life of a great man.
405
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:30,310
Oh, wait. Someone else die?
406
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,270
No. I'm talking
about Mr. Benson,
407
00:16:33,310 --> 00:16:37,540
who some of you refer to
as "Mean Mr. Benson."
408
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:40,060
Shame on you.
409
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:45,410
Because more than anything,
Mr. Benson was misunderstood.
410
00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,020
Yeah, now,
411
00:16:47,070 --> 00:16:50,590
I know a lot of you know him
as the mean old grouch
412
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:54,550
who stole your toys or insulted
your Halloween costumes
413
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:58,340
or yelled at you
about cutting your grass.
414
00:16:58,380 --> 00:17:01,820
Uh, yeah, because he did
all those things.
415
00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:03,340
Yes, he did.
416
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,260
But what you don't know
417
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,780
is the reason why
he did those things
418
00:17:07,830 --> 00:17:10,400
is because he cared
about this neighborhood.
419
00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:18,270
Maybe he kept the toys
that went into his yard
420
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:22,540
to teach you the value
of your belongings.
421
00:17:24,150 --> 00:17:27,460
And maybe he yelled at you
422
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:31,890
about mowing your lawn so you
could take pride in your homes.
423
00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:38,600
And just maybe he shut down
a lemonade stand
424
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,340
to teach a young entrepreneur
that some people
425
00:17:41,380 --> 00:17:44,340
know the difference between
taste of sugar and Sweet'N Low.
426
00:17:47,170 --> 00:17:49,300
Hey, yo, do you think Dad
is talking about Mr. Benson
427
00:17:49,350 --> 00:17:51,740
or himself?
I think both.
428
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,740
He may have eaten one too
many dumpster bagels.
429
00:17:53,790 --> 00:17:55,660
Yeah.
430
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,100
So basically...
431
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,540
...what I'm saying
is that before
432
00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:07,370
you call someone mean,
433
00:18:07,410 --> 00:18:12,410
ask yourself is the more
appropriate word
434
00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:14,680
"hero"?
435
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,770
He did it.
He found the rhubarb pie.
436
00:18:31,390 --> 00:18:35,260
Dave, black people
don't slow clap.
437
00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:47,490
Hey, what are you doing
out here, little man?
438
00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:50,970
Not much. Just thinking
about life and death.
439
00:18:53,370 --> 00:18:56,370
And how much cake I can eat
before my parents catch me.
440
00:18:59,770 --> 00:19:02,070
You know,
441
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,420
you're the only little kid
around here
442
00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:04,940
that doesn't run away from me.
443
00:19:04,990 --> 00:19:06,770
Why would I run away?
444
00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:08,730
I don't know.
445
00:19:08,770 --> 00:19:11,650
Maybe because I'm
Mean Mr. Butler.
446
00:19:11,690 --> 00:19:13,780
I don't think you're mean.
447
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:17,000
You just always
think you're right.
448
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:20,920
Mm, for the record,
that's because I am.
449
00:19:22,350 --> 00:19:24,310
Can I ask you a question?
450
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,050
Yeah, shoot.
451
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:28,320
Where do people go
when they die?
452
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:31,140
I've asked everyone, and
they all say different stuff.
453
00:19:31,190 --> 00:19:33,360
Hmm. You know,
454
00:19:33,410 --> 00:19:36,240
I've been thinking about that
a lot today, Grover.
455
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,070
You know what I've decided? What?
456
00:19:39,110 --> 00:19:41,680
That maybe we shouldn't
worry so much about
457
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,460
where we go after we die,
458
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:46,070
as long as we're good to each
other when we're here.
459
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,120
Want a piece of my cake?
460
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,380
[chuckles]
Thanks, buddy,
461
00:19:51,430 --> 00:19:54,650
but I'm kind of
filled up on bagels.
462
00:19:54,690 --> 00:19:56,690
[band playing "When the Saints
Go Marching In"]
463
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,650
Ooh! Ooh, the band's here! Oh.
464
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,610
You got a band?
465
00:20:04,660 --> 00:20:05,960
Yes. Mr. Benson was
from New Orleans,
466
00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:09,050
so I thought we'd
send him out in style.
467
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,890
Well, Calvin Butler, that was a
beautiful speech that you gave.
468
00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:25,020
Oh, thank you, baby.
469
00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:28,590
Well, I found that, uh, page
from the magazine in your chair.Oh...
470
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,120
So how about we keep this
celebration going later
471
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,120
with a number 12?
472
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,820
What's a number 12?
473
00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:39,600
It's a number eight and
a number four at the same time.
474
00:20:39,650 --> 00:20:40,910
[laughs]
475
00:20:40,950 --> 00:20:43,040
Well, all right!
476
00:20:43,090 --> 00:20:45,090
♪
477
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:58,320
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
478
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:01,020
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
34533
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.