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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:05,280 [man panting] 2 00:00:05,330 --> 00:00:06,550 Hey, Calvin. 3 00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,160 Hey, how was your run? 4 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,510 Oh, it was great; I did five miles but I could really use... 5 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,120 ...some new shoes. 6 00:00:17,170 --> 00:00:18,510 Oh, my bad. 7 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,560 I thought you were gonna say "cool down." 8 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,390 Hey, did you see the ambulance 9 00:00:22,430 --> 00:00:23,560 in front of Mr. Benson's last night? 10 00:00:23,610 --> 00:00:25,000 Yeah. 11 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,000 Any idea what happened? I want to get some intel 12 00:00:27,050 --> 00:00:28,610 so I can update our neighborhood Facebook page. 13 00:00:28,660 --> 00:00:30,790 We have a neighborhood Facebook page? 14 00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:32,090 How many people are on it? 15 00:00:32,140 --> 00:00:33,790 [chuckles] Well, as soon as you accept 16 00:00:33,830 --> 00:00:35,310 my friend request, two. 17 00:00:37,140 --> 00:00:38,750 So do you know what happened to Mr. Benson? 18 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,150 Yeah. 19 00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:41,540 He dead. 20 00:00:41,580 --> 00:00:44,150 Whoa, wha-what? Calvin. 21 00:00:44,190 --> 00:00:45,850 That-- that's terrible. 22 00:00:45,890 --> 00:00:47,630 You wouldn't say that if you knew him. 23 00:00:47,670 --> 00:00:49,150 I mean... 24 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,030 there's a reason that people in this neighborhood 25 00:00:51,070 --> 00:00:52,810 called him "Mean Mr. Benson." 26 00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:55,120 I didn't know they called him that. 27 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:56,600 Yeah, probably like you don't know 28 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,290 they call you "Bobblehead Dave." 29 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,120 Oh, I know it and I love it. 30 00:01:03,390 --> 00:01:05,740 So what was so mean about Mr. Benson? 31 00:01:05,780 --> 00:01:07,960 Oh, everything. The man has terrorized 32 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,480 this neighborhood since I was a kid. 33 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,350 Always yelling at people to cut their grass 34 00:01:12,390 --> 00:01:14,440 or pull their trash cans up. 35 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,490 And if ever I had a ball or a Frisbee go into his yard, 36 00:01:17,530 --> 00:01:19,310 never saw it again. 37 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:21,320 [chuckles] You know, that actually reminds me. 38 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,280 I accidentally threw our Frisbee 39 00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,580 into your backyard the other day. 40 00:01:24,620 --> 00:01:26,370 Green one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 41 00:01:26,410 --> 00:01:27,710 Haven't seen it. 42 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,760 Well, you know-- 43 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,940 I'm sure Mr. Benson wasn't all bad. 44 00:01:32,980 --> 00:01:34,370 I mean, take my Aunt Phyllis. 45 00:01:34,420 --> 00:01:37,030 Nobody liked her, but once you got over the fact 46 00:01:37,070 --> 00:01:38,810 that she treated her pets better than people 47 00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:41,030 and pretty much despised all of humanity, 48 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:43,640 she made the most delicious rhubarb pie. 49 00:01:45,210 --> 00:01:47,910 Well, Mr. Benson was so mean, 50 00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:50,350 not even the Jehovah's Witnesses would knock on his door. 51 00:01:50,390 --> 00:01:51,780 And they talk to anybody. 52 00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:54,740 I know, aren't they the best? 53 00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:57,610 But then they're always like, "We got to go now, Dave." 54 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,400 So, do you know when they're having his funeral? 55 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,360 I don't know. He was such a loner. 56 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,140 There probably won't be one. 57 00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:07,580 And even if there was, no one would go. 58 00:02:07,620 --> 00:02:09,930 Man, that's so sad, Calvin. 59 00:02:09,970 --> 00:02:11,240 Yeah... We should do something 60 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,150 to remember him. 61 00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:16,420 We should put his death on the neighborhood Facebook page. 62 00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:19,110 What-- So you'll accept my friend request? 63 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,380 Sure. Just as soon as he does. 64 00:02:23,340 --> 00:02:25,250 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 65 00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:26,250 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 66 00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:35,170 Mm. 67 00:02:35,220 --> 00:02:36,480 Oh. 68 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,180 Okay. 69 00:02:38,220 --> 00:02:40,480 "Ten Ways to Please Your Man." 70 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:44,920 All right, well, let's see 71 00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:47,270 what's on the menu for this weekend. 72 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,490 Okay, okay, I ain't mad at that. 73 00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:51,580 I see you, number seven. 74 00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:53,320 [chuckling]: Okay. 75 00:02:53,370 --> 00:02:55,450 Oh, number nine, you just a little ol' freak. 76 00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:57,590 [laughs] 77 00:02:57,630 --> 00:03:01,370 Let's see what number ten is-- Oh, hell no. 78 00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:02,550 No, nuh-uh, oh. 79 00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:04,550 No, uh-uh. 80 00:03:04,590 --> 00:03:05,860 [grunts] 81 00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:07,250 Oh. 82 00:03:07,290 --> 00:03:08,600 [Tina grunting] 83 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,470 Hey, babe. Oh, hey, Calvin. 84 00:03:10,510 --> 00:03:12,210 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's all this? 85 00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,260 Well, we just came from the church meeting 86 00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:15,690 about Mr. Benson passing. 87 00:03:15,740 --> 00:03:17,430 And since he didn't have any people, 88 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:19,430 I offered to throw the repass here. 89 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,390 What? And then I discovered 90 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,570 that a repass was kind of like a funeral after-party 91 00:03:23,610 --> 00:03:25,530 and we were off to the races. 92 00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:28,660 Uh, hold on, Tina. 93 00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:32,010 We're not hosting a repass for somebody I hated. 94 00:03:32,060 --> 00:03:34,800 I wouldn't host one for myself and I love me. 95 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,800 [chuckles] 96 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,710 Look, I didn't like him any more than you 97 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,500 but it's the Christian thing to do and besides, 98 00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:42,940 I've thrown plenty of stuff for you that I didn't want to. 99 00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:44,630 Like what? Like that end of the year banquet 100 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,640 for your bowling team where you all just 101 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,590 sat around and complained about being robbed. 102 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,030 They overwaxed the lanes, Tina. 103 00:03:51,070 --> 00:03:52,470 [groans] 104 00:03:53,510 --> 00:03:56,520 You know, this repass has your name 105 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:57,950 written all over it. 106 00:03:57,990 --> 00:03:59,300 Oh, you mean like my Frisbee? 107 00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,520 Hey-- 108 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,520 Calvin, don't worry, okay? 109 00:04:03,570 --> 00:04:05,790 I'm pitching in, too: I'm picking up flowers 110 00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:08,270 and I volunteered to say a few words on 111 00:04:08,310 --> 00:04:10,440 on Mr. Benson's behalf. But you didn't even know the man. 112 00:04:10,490 --> 00:04:11,750 And I'm about to change that. 113 00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:13,230 I'm gonna ask people in the neighborhood 114 00:04:13,270 --> 00:04:14,580 for their fond memories of him. 115 00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:16,710 Oh, okay. Here's one. 116 00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:18,410 For Halloween, he threw rocks at me 117 00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:21,450 and yelled at me, "Get off my lawn, Wack Ninja!" 118 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,630 I wasn't even a ninja, Dave. 119 00:04:24,670 --> 00:04:26,200 I was a black ghost. 120 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,460 [laughs] Okay. 121 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,380 Calvin, I've never seen a black ghost. 122 00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:32,070 Well, trust me. In this neighborhood, 123 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,340 you don't want to walk around with a white sheet 124 00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:36,380 over your head. Okay. 125 00:04:36,420 --> 00:04:39,510 Fine, you know what? Maybe Mr. Benson was 126 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,340 a little bit grumpy. 127 00:04:41,390 --> 00:04:43,560 But I believe that if you look hard enough, 128 00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:45,650 there's something nice to say about everybody. 129 00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:48,180 Oh, see? This is about your bitter old aunt 130 00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:49,740 and her bitter rhubarb pie. 131 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:50,870 Oh, no, no, no. 132 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,220 My aunt was bitter. 133 00:04:53,270 --> 00:04:55,440 The rhubarb pie was incredible, Calvin. 134 00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:02,580 It's so nice of you guys to host Mr. Benson's repass. 135 00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:04,280 Well, it's the right thing to do. 136 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,450 Get the neighborhood together, 137 00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,630 everybody brings food and bam! 138 00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:09,500 There's enough leftovers that Mama doesn't 139 00:05:09,540 --> 00:05:12,070 have to cook for a week.[laughs] 140 00:05:12,110 --> 00:05:13,850 Hey, Mom. 141 00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,590 Hi, sweetie. 142 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,340 I've been thinking about Mr. Benson. 143 00:05:17,380 --> 00:05:19,120 Where do people go when they die? 144 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,770 Oh, um... 145 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,510 uh, well... 146 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,860 that's a good question. 147 00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:27,740 And the answer is very complicated. 148 00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:29,650 You see, existence is a complex thing... 149 00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:32,610 Do you know, Miss Tina? 150 00:05:32,650 --> 00:05:35,140 Well, of course I do. 151 00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:38,570 If you're good, you go to this glorious place 152 00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:41,620 in the sky called Heaven, filled with angels 153 00:05:41,660 --> 00:05:43,670 and toys and all the candy you can eat. 154 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,320 Cool. 155 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,230 See, Mom? Simple. 156 00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:52,590 Well, that wasn't exactly the answer I was gonna give. 157 00:05:52,630 --> 00:05:54,940 I know, girl, but I got a repass to plan. 158 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,550 We would have been here all day. [chuckles] 159 00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:59,550 I didn't even think about all the questions 160 00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:01,420 this was gonna raise for Grover. 161 00:06:01,470 --> 00:06:03,860 Well, why don't you just tell him what you think? 162 00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:06,690 Because that's exactly what my parents did to me. 163 00:06:06,730 --> 00:06:08,300 They told me what to believe. 164 00:06:08,340 --> 00:06:10,610 I-I'd rather have Grover figure it out for himself. 165 00:06:10,650 --> 00:06:12,260 I respect that. 166 00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:14,700 I mean, it's blasphemous, but I respect it. 167 00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:16,130 [laughs] 168 00:06:18,740 --> 00:06:20,490 Hmm. 169 00:06:21,490 --> 00:06:23,100 And what's this? 170 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:31,450 Looks like somebody wants an early birthday present. 171 00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:36,020 CALVIN: Hey, babe.Hey. 172 00:06:36,070 --> 00:06:37,500 Got the food for the repass. 173 00:06:42,070 --> 00:06:44,900 Calvin, what is this? I told you to get finger foods. 174 00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:46,470 Oh, I did. 175 00:06:46,510 --> 00:06:48,560 You can eat these day-old bagels with your fingers. 176 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,340 Oh, he's just being cheap because 177 00:06:52,390 --> 00:06:53,870 Mean Mr. Benson never paid him 178 00:06:53,910 --> 00:06:56,040 for mowing the lawn in the summer of '79. 179 00:06:56,090 --> 00:06:57,960 Oh, I'm sorry. 180 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,830 Is there a statute of limitations 181 00:06:59,870 --> 00:07:01,740 on making a black ghost cry? 182 00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,440 Calvin, don't you think 183 00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:05,700 you're being a little ridiculous? 184 00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:07,050 Just let it go. 185 00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:08,490 Oh. 186 00:07:08,530 --> 00:07:09,580 This from the lady who had to switch 187 00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:11,710 grocery stores for being called out 188 00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:15,630 for having more than 12 items in the express lane. 189 00:07:15,670 --> 00:07:18,020 If they're gonna count gum as an item, 190 00:07:18,060 --> 00:07:19,720 it shouldn't be at the register. 191 00:07:21,980 --> 00:07:23,640 Hey, hey. 192 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,550 Turns out half my childhood 193 00:07:25,590 --> 00:07:27,680 was in Mean Mr. Benson's backyard. [chuckles] 194 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,510 Oh, lookee here. 195 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,640 It's Marty's little army doll. 196 00:07:32,690 --> 00:07:34,730 Hey, man. He was a prisoner of war 197 00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:36,650 for 15 years. 198 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:41,300 Welcome home, soldier. 199 00:07:42,310 --> 00:07:44,660 So much has changed. [groans] 200 00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:46,180 Oh, what's that? 201 00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:47,660 Oh, no, Malcolm still lives here. 202 00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:53,320 Mom, what's a massage parlor? 203 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,580 What? What-- 204 00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:57,500 Why would you ask that? 205 00:07:57,540 --> 00:07:59,760 I'm looking for Heaven on Google Maps 206 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,200 and it says it's a massage parlor in Koreatown. 207 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:03,980 Oh, okay, I-I, uh... 208 00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:07,110 I think that's enough screen time for today. 209 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,940 Hey. 210 00:08:08,980 --> 00:08:10,770 I've been meaning to talk to you about 211 00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:12,730 what Miss Tina said about Heaven. 212 00:08:12,770 --> 00:08:14,770 Okay. It's just that 213 00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:18,560 not everyone sees "heaven" the same way Miss Tina does. 214 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,560 They don't? No. 215 00:08:20,610 --> 00:08:23,560 For example, some people believe that heaven 216 00:08:23,610 --> 00:08:25,220 exists inside your heart. 217 00:08:25,260 --> 00:08:28,530 And others believe that heaven is here on Earth 218 00:08:28,570 --> 00:08:30,310 and that our souls just keep coming back 219 00:08:30,350 --> 00:08:33,180 as a new being, like a turtle or a horse. 220 00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:36,530 Cool. I want to come back as a dung beetle. 221 00:08:36,580 --> 00:08:38,320 What? 222 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,190 Why would you want that? 223 00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:42,450 It's the world's strongest insect. 224 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,590 It can carry a thousand times its body weight. 225 00:08:45,630 --> 00:08:48,330 Yes. Of dung. 226 00:08:48,370 --> 00:08:50,160 I know! 227 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,770 Hey, Dad, I'm gonna be a dung beetle. 228 00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:56,120 Oh, awesome, buddy. World's strongest insect. 229 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,560 [sighs] 230 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,600 Hey, babe. Hey. 231 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,600 Did you have any luck finding out about Mr. Benson? 232 00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:05,040 No. I went door-to-door through the entire neighborhood 233 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,690 and the only thing I heard about him 234 00:09:06,740 --> 00:09:09,220 was that he was from New Orleans 235 00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:12,480 and they wish he had died there. 236 00:09:12,530 --> 00:09:14,830 Geez, he sounds like a real Aunt Phyllis. 237 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,230 I know, but you-- 238 00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:19,530 I'm not giving up until I find his rhubarb pie. 239 00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:21,360 And you will. 240 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,320 Because you can find the good in anybody. 241 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:24,580 Thank you. 242 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,370 But you really got to stop inviting 243 00:09:26,410 --> 00:09:27,850 the Jehovah's Witnesses to stay for dinner. 244 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,330 Hey, Miss Kim. Uh, I knocked on your door 245 00:09:35,380 --> 00:09:36,900 earlier, but I guess you weren't home. 246 00:09:36,940 --> 00:09:38,900 Oh, no, I was there. 247 00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:40,290 I saw you, Bobblehead Dave. 248 00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:43,730 I, well, you know, I was just wondering 249 00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:45,690 if you had any positive memories about Mr. Benson 250 00:09:45,730 --> 00:09:48,080 from before he died.No. 251 00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:49,690 That old bastard. 252 00:09:52,130 --> 00:09:55,480 Tina, how much did we pay for all this food? 253 00:09:55,530 --> 00:09:57,350 About a half a bowling party, 254 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,920 not including the trophies you bought yourselves. 255 00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:02,970 Well, I think it's a waste of our money 256 00:10:03,010 --> 00:10:04,840 and a waste of our hospitality. 257 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,710 And why nobody eating these bagels? Oh, no. 258 00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:08,320 [pained grunt] 259 00:10:11,930 --> 00:10:13,980 They're delicious. 260 00:10:15,150 --> 00:10:17,940 Oh, shoot, here comes Miss Kim. Hide me. 261 00:10:17,980 --> 00:10:20,940 Oop-- [laughs] Too late. No, no, no. 262 00:10:20,990 --> 00:10:22,940 Oh, Marty. 263 00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,210 Aren't you looking like a whole snack? 264 00:10:26,770 --> 00:10:28,560 Uh, don't you mean Malcolm? 265 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,910 Ah, Malcolm got too old. 266 00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:32,740 [laughs] 267 00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:35,090 Well, little brother, do not break her heart. 268 00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:36,740 Or her hip. 269 00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:38,220 [clears throat] 270 00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:40,660 Marty, you know, I need someone young 271 00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:42,530 to keep up with me and... 272 00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:44,270 you look like you've been working out. 273 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:49,010 Well, you know, I have been taking the stairs at work. 274 00:10:50,670 --> 00:10:52,410 [both shouting] 275 00:10:52,450 --> 00:10:54,020 CALVIN: Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 276 00:10:54,060 --> 00:10:57,110 You want to run, go outside. 277 00:10:57,150 --> 00:10:59,630 And who left my door open? 278 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:02,550 I'm not trying to air condition the whole neighborhood. 279 00:11:02,590 --> 00:11:04,860 You don't have the A/C on. 280 00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:07,290 Well, they don't know that. 281 00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:09,430 Hey, little boy, come on, get out of my chair. 282 00:11:09,470 --> 00:11:10,780 You don't have a job, 283 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,470 you haven't earned the right to recline. 284 00:11:14,910 --> 00:11:18,000 Fine. Mean Mr. Butler. 285 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,090 W-What'd you call me? 286 00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:22,530 He called you Mean Mr. Butler, you old bastard. 287 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,750 Hey, guys, I really need your help. 288 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,280 It's down to the wire and no one has said a single nice thing 289 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,630 about Mr. Benson. 290 00:11:36,670 --> 00:11:38,500 Do you have anything I can work with? 291 00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:39,800 Well, there was that one summer he hired us 292 00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:41,280 to plant a vegetable garden. 293 00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:43,940 Oh, right, we grew all those beautiful tomato plants. 294 00:11:43,980 --> 00:11:46,380 That's exactly what I'm looking for. 295 00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:47,900 Yeah, then he pelted us with them 296 00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:51,080 when we rode our bikes on the sidewalk. 297 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,380 Okay, well, uh, 298 00:11:52,430 --> 00:11:53,990 so far, that's the one to beat. 299 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,830 Hey, I just got called Mean Mr. Butler. 300 00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:01,870 What? By who? 301 00:12:01,910 --> 00:12:03,920 That little punk, Apple Head Fred. 302 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,350 Oh. Oh. 303 00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:07,350 What is he talking about? I'm not mean. 304 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,970 Well, Dad, just last week, you called the city 305 00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:12,790 on Kayla Watkins's lemonade stand 306 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,580 because she didn't have a "permit." 307 00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:16,580 I was looking out for the neighborhood. 308 00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:19,760 That little hustler was cutting the sugar with Sweet'N Low. 309 00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:24,280 Yeah, you're a real pillar of the community, Pop. 310 00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:25,810 That's what I keep saying. 311 00:12:25,850 --> 00:12:28,330 Look, everybody around here loves me. 312 00:12:28,370 --> 00:12:30,200 Especially the kids. You know what? 313 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,380 I'll prove it. Oh, no, no. No. 314 00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:32,510 No, no, no. No, don't. No. 315 00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:34,510 No... 316 00:12:34,550 --> 00:12:36,990 Hey, little rascals. 317 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,210 Who wants cake? 318 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,820 M-Mom... 319 00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:46,650 Berlene, you better toughen that little boy up, 320 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,260 'cause he's gonna get beat up in high school. 321 00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:53,360 So has Grover figured out the afterlife for himself yet? 322 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,140 Yep, 323 00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:58,450 and he wants to come back as the world's most disgusting bug. 324 00:12:58,490 --> 00:13:00,410 [laughs] 325 00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:02,230 You must be proud. 326 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,020 You know what? I am. 327 00:13:04,060 --> 00:13:06,540 He's a smart kid. He'll figure it out. 328 00:13:06,590 --> 00:13:09,070 Can I ask you a question? 329 00:13:09,110 --> 00:13:10,240 Sure. 330 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,420 Do you believe in heaven? 331 00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:13,330 Yeah, I do. 332 00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:17,550 But I mean, how can any of us be sure what it's really like? 333 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,560 It's called faith, Gemma. 334 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,040 It's like driving around with an expired license. 335 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,690 You got to trust and believe that you won't get caught. 336 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,740 And so far, I haven't. That's Jesus. 337 00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:32,260 [laughs] Well, I guess the good thing is we all get to paint 338 00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:34,270 our own picture of what heaven is. 339 00:13:34,310 --> 00:13:36,310 Well, all I know is, in my heaven, 340 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,310 everybody that I love is there. 341 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,880 Ooh, and they're waiting for me at a Prince concert. 342 00:13:40,930 --> 00:13:42,360 [both laugh] 343 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,890 In my heaven, it's the Backstreet Boys. 344 00:13:44,930 --> 00:13:47,110 Ooh, and I can eat all the cheesecake I want 345 00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:49,150 and never gain a single pound. 346 00:13:49,190 --> 00:13:52,890 Well, Gemma Johnson, I hope to see you in my heaven. 347 00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:54,680 Aw, I hope I see you in mine. 348 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,680 And if you go first, will you save me a seat 349 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,290 at your Prince concert? Oh, most definitely. 350 00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:01,990 And if I go first, I'll save you a spot at the Backstreet Boys. 351 00:14:03,030 --> 00:14:04,380 I'm good. 352 00:14:04,430 --> 00:14:06,560 [chuckles] 353 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,560 Hey, Kayla. 354 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,090 Nice seeing you... Don't even. 355 00:14:11,130 --> 00:14:13,310 You shut down my lemonade stand. 356 00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:17,050 Snitch. 357 00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:21,010 Well, it's people like you that make it hard 358 00:14:21,050 --> 00:14:23,320 to support black businesses. 359 00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:28,490 Well, okay, to answer your question, Grover, 360 00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:31,240 as scientists, we learn about the law of conservation, 361 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,110 which states that energy can neither be 362 00:14:33,150 --> 00:14:34,800 created nor destroyed. 363 00:14:34,850 --> 00:14:37,200 But if my mama asks, it's what? 364 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,200 All Jesus all the time. 365 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,200 Yeah. 366 00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:43,030 What do you think, Malcolm? 367 00:14:43,070 --> 00:14:44,810 Well, there's actually this great book... 368 00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:46,340 I'm out. Yeah, me, too. 369 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,130 So, so, what I'm saying is 370 00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:55,040 that Mean Mr. Benson might just be the most repulsive, 371 00:14:55,090 --> 00:14:58,920 vile, despicable human I've ever come across. 372 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,620 And I hope he rots in hell. 373 00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:05,620 Okay. Well... 374 00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:07,970 Thanks, Reverend. 375 00:15:08,010 --> 00:15:09,800 CALVIN: Hey, Dave. 376 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,800 Thank God, man, look, 377 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,580 I need to hear this. Please tell me, 378 00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:16,760 there's something good in everyone, right? 379 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,370 I wish I could, but it's a lie. 380 00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:22,030 It is a damn, dirty lie. 381 00:15:22,070 --> 00:15:25,120 No, no. Come on, that's not true. 382 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,380 It-- no, some people will only be remembered 383 00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:30,160 for yelling at children and bossing people around 384 00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:34,170 and spewing negativity up and down the streets. 385 00:15:34,210 --> 00:15:36,520 Well, when you say it like that, it sounds bad. 386 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,000 Dave, if you're gonna say something, say it now. 387 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,700 These vultures got me down to one day of leftovers. 388 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,350 You know what, Tina? 389 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,880 I don't think I'm going to, 390 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,360 because for the first time in my life, 391 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,060 I don't have anything good to say. 392 00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,270 No, Dave, do not talk like that. 393 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,190 Come on, man. 394 00:15:55,230 --> 00:15:57,190 It's like I tell everyone, 395 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,020 if you look hard enough, 396 00:15:59,060 --> 00:16:01,280 you can find the good in everybody. 397 00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:05,980 Dad, you have 100% never said that. 398 00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,330 Uh, but you have said, 399 00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:11,380 "I wish The Purge was a real thing." Yes. 400 00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:15,080 Well, obviously, you just don't know me. 401 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,390 Just like you didn't know Mr. Benson. 402 00:16:17,430 --> 00:16:19,260 Yo, can I have everyone's attention? 403 00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:23,040 Come on. Everybody just gather around here. Come on, now. 404 00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:26,440 We are here to celebrate the life of a great man. 405 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:30,310 Oh, wait. Someone else die? 406 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,270 No. I'm talking about Mr. Benson, 407 00:16:33,310 --> 00:16:37,540 who some of you refer to as "Mean Mr. Benson." 408 00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:40,060 Shame on you. 409 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:45,410 Because more than anything, Mr. Benson was misunderstood. 410 00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,020 Yeah, now, 411 00:16:47,070 --> 00:16:50,590 I know a lot of you know him as the mean old grouch 412 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:54,550 who stole your toys or insulted your Halloween costumes 413 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:58,340 or yelled at you about cutting your grass. 414 00:16:58,380 --> 00:17:01,820 Uh, yeah, because he did all those things. 415 00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:03,340 Yes, he did. 416 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,260 But what you don't know 417 00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,780 is the reason why he did those things 418 00:17:07,830 --> 00:17:10,400 is because he cared about this neighborhood. 419 00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:18,270 Maybe he kept the toys that went into his yard 420 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:22,540 to teach you the value of your belongings. 421 00:17:24,150 --> 00:17:27,460 And maybe he yelled at you 422 00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:31,890 about mowing your lawn so you could take pride in your homes. 423 00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:38,600 And just maybe he shut down a lemonade stand 424 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,340 to teach a young entrepreneur that some people 425 00:17:41,380 --> 00:17:44,340 know the difference between taste of sugar and Sweet'N Low. 426 00:17:47,170 --> 00:17:49,300 Hey, yo, do you think Dad is talking about Mr. Benson 427 00:17:49,350 --> 00:17:51,740 or himself? I think both. 428 00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,740 He may have eaten one too many dumpster bagels. 429 00:17:53,790 --> 00:17:55,660 Yeah. 430 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,100 So basically... 431 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,540 ...what I'm saying is that before 432 00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:07,370 you call someone mean, 433 00:18:07,410 --> 00:18:12,410 ask yourself is the more appropriate word 434 00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:14,680 "hero"? 435 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,770 He did it. He found the rhubarb pie. 436 00:18:31,390 --> 00:18:35,260 Dave, black people don't slow clap. 437 00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:47,490 Hey, what are you doing out here, little man? 438 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:50,970 Not much. Just thinking about life and death. 439 00:18:53,370 --> 00:18:56,370 And how much cake I can eat before my parents catch me. 440 00:18:59,770 --> 00:19:02,070 You know, 441 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,420 you're the only little kid around here 442 00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:04,940 that doesn't run away from me. 443 00:19:04,990 --> 00:19:06,770 Why would I run away? 444 00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:08,730 I don't know. 445 00:19:08,770 --> 00:19:11,650 Maybe because I'm Mean Mr. Butler. 446 00:19:11,690 --> 00:19:13,780 I don't think you're mean. 447 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:17,000 You just always think you're right. 448 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:20,920 Mm, for the record, that's because I am. 449 00:19:22,350 --> 00:19:24,310 Can I ask you a question? 450 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,050 Yeah, shoot. 451 00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:28,320 Where do people go when they die? 452 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:31,140 I've asked everyone, and they all say different stuff. 453 00:19:31,190 --> 00:19:33,360 Hmm. You know, 454 00:19:33,410 --> 00:19:36,240 I've been thinking about that a lot today, Grover. 455 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,070 You know what I've decided? What? 456 00:19:39,110 --> 00:19:41,680 That maybe we shouldn't worry so much about 457 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,460 where we go after we die, 458 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:46,070 as long as we're good to each other when we're here. 459 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,120 Want a piece of my cake? 460 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,380 [chuckles] Thanks, buddy, 461 00:19:51,430 --> 00:19:54,650 but I'm kind of filled up on bagels. 462 00:19:54,690 --> 00:19:56,690 [band playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"] 463 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,650 Ooh! Ooh, the band's here! Oh. 464 00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,610 You got a band? 465 00:20:04,660 --> 00:20:05,960 Yes. Mr. Benson was from New Orleans, 466 00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:09,050 so I thought we'd send him out in style. 467 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,890 Well, Calvin Butler, that was a beautiful speech that you gave. 468 00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:25,020 Oh, thank you, baby. 469 00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:28,590 Well, I found that, uh, page from the magazine in your chair.Oh... 470 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,120 So how about we keep this celebration going later 471 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,120 with a number 12? 472 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,820 What's a number 12? 473 00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:39,600 It's a number eight and a number four at the same time. 474 00:20:39,650 --> 00:20:40,910 [laughs] 475 00:20:40,950 --> 00:20:43,040 Well, all right! 476 00:20:43,090 --> 00:20:45,090 ♪ 477 00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:58,320 Captioning sponsored by CBS 478 00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:01,020 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 34533

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