Original subtitles

Organic Chemistry, Physics 2, Multivariable Calculus,

Conversational French,

Introduction to the Modern European Novel, uh, Tennis...

You took all those classes in one semester?

Yes. Heh.

My textbooks that fall cost as much as a small car.

But I wanted to graduate in three and a half years,

and I was interested in all of them.

It sounds overwhelming.

It was.

Corinne?

Corinne, it's your brother.

Sam. What do they have her on?

She was deranged when she came in.

Shrink's got her loaded up.

So...

It was actually... It's actually a physical book?

Yeah, yeah, with every student's face in it.

Like a phone book? No computer?

That's right, young man.

Yeah, it was great.

You could look up the cute guy

in your Comparative Literature class

and call him when you were drunk.

What cute guy? How cute?

Not as cute as you.

I'm not cute. I'm tough. You're cute.

I'm a tough guy.

Sorry I called. No, no, I'm glad you called.

I'm--

I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom. I--

Yeah.

Gosh, you look so sad. You look like a little boy.

It's 20 years, Addison.

Just picked up and left.

No goodbye. No--

She was just gone. I know.

I mean, I don't know. I know what you told me.

No call, no letter.

I thought she was dead.

Yeah, but it's good news, right?

That she's not. That she's back now.

Corinne.

Can I get you something?

Thirsty.

Hi, Corinne. Um--

I'm Sam's neighbor.

And we work together also. I'm Addison.

Here's your water, Corinne.

Here are your meds. Want to take these for me?

I'm not so sure.

Not so sure...? That this is good news.

He won't stop screaming.

I know babies cry, but it's been like 14 hours.

He won't eat. He can't sleep.

Hyperactive reflexes, increased muscle tone.

He's tachypneic. Pulse ox is borderline.

Can't you give him something? We will.

After we diagnose what the problem is.

Eli's pretty small for ten days.

Was he premature?

Mm-hm. How many weeks?

Um, like two? Are you asking me?

No, sorry. It's just the screaming.

I haven't slept. Two weeks.

He came two weeks early.

He looks malnourished and dehydrated.

Is he eating? Are you breast feeding?

No. Um, uh-- He likes the bottle.

Pumping or formula? Formula.

And why is that?

What?

Uh, most mothers try to breast feed for a while.

Was he having trouble latching?

Why does it matter? Just help him.

You look good for someone who gave birth ten days ago.

This isn't your baby, is it?

Okay, you need to explain what's going on right now,

or we're going to Security.

Okay.

Wait.

Uh, his mom...

My mom. She's a druggie.

So Eli is your brother?

She gave birth to him,

brought him home and then left to score.

He was two days old.

But it's been over a week, and she hasn't come back.

Did you try to find her? No, but--

Do you know if she's okay? I never know if she's okay.

The first time she left me, I was 8.

I woke up one morning, went downstairs

and there was no one.

The house was empty.

I didn't know what to do and I was scared,

but I didn't wanna be alone, so I toasted a frozen waffle

and I got dressed and I went to school.

She came back a few days later.

She said she got stuck at work.

But she worked in some office, and it didn't make any sense.

But then she acted normal, so I did too. I just...

I didn't want it to happen again.

But it did? Of course.

Sometimes she would tell me that she was leaving,

other times she'd just be gone.

Eventually, when it got really bad,

one of my teachers figured it out.

And that was the first time I was put in foster care.

After that...

It was just a lot of back and forth.

Eli doesn't deserve that.

He should have someone who can take care of him.

Always.

And that can be me.

Hey.

How are you feeling? Hey.

Ten minutes into my first session of chemo.

Probably better than anyone else in here.

You got the right attitude.

Do you want to bring Mason in? No.

I don't want him to see me.

Or anyone else in here.

It'd just be too much for him.

Okay.

If that's what you want. It's what I want.

He's my little boy.

I've been the only constant in his life.

So if this is scary for me, then for him...

It's what I want.

Blank-O-O-blank blank-I-blank-blank.

Come on.

I don't know, E? I already said there's no E's.

Can I please see my mom now? In a few minutes. She's resting.

I really just wanna see my mom. I know.

Hey, guys. Hey, man.

Hey, Mason.

So...

How's your, uh...?

Give me a minute, okay?

I'll give you a hint. There's a K in there.

Mason doesn't know about his mother?

No, Erica won't...

Doesn't want me to say anything, you know.

I've gone along, because he's just a kid,

he's not ready to deal with his mother's death.

I'm not ready to deal with it.

Yeah. Losing a parent. I know how hard that is.

At least he has you and Charlotte.

Yeah. Yeah.

Mason. I'll see you later.

All right. Any ideas?

Why's my mom resting so much?

She's still really tired from the accident.

The last time I saw her, she didn't look tired.

She looked fine.

Yeah, but-- I know she wants to see me.

And I really wanna see her.

Please.

We just have to give her a little more time.

Hey, can I ask you a favor? You can ask.

I want you to take me off the surgical rotation

for a couple of days.

I'm researching gliosarcomas and I have a few leads,

but I need more time.

Erica agreed to do the chemo.

Beyond that, I don't think she's holding out any hope.

Which is realistic. But I'm not ready to give up.

What does that mean? It means I need to keep reading

and talking to more docs and...

I don't know where you find miracles these days,

but I would like to try.

Okay.

You were right.

Baby Eli has neonatal abstinence syndrome.

We should start a methadone taper.

Unfortunately, there's more.

He's also got a congenital cystic adenomatoid malformation.

It needs to be removed, or his lungs will be compromised.

You can't do surgery. He's too weak.

Waiting carries its own risks.

Any little virus or cold, he could become oxygen-deprived.

Who makes this call?

Well, is there a father in the picture?

No, just the baby's sister, Denise.

How old is she? Nineteen.

And she also went through hell with the mother,

but she's trying to do right by her brother.

You think she's qualified to make that kind of decision?

She doesn't have to.

This is Eli's mother, Melissa.

Did I leave to score drugs right after Eli was born?

Yes, I did. But I changed my mind.

Oh. So where were you? Getting clean.

You went to rehab? No. I did it myself.

She locked herself in a motel room for eight days

and detoxed cold turkey.

That would've been great before she got her fetus addicted.

Okay, Cooper. You're right.

But I got clean.

You've been clean for, what, eight days?

You've been an addict for-- Don't tell me about addiction.

I am trying for Eli. I am doing everything I can.

Because I am gonna be a good mother to him.

You walked out on him. No, I didn't.

I left him with Denise. And I called over and over.

Only Denise never answered, and she never called me back.

So Denise is lying?

She has issues.

With me, all right? And I know why.

Lots of times, I wasn't any kind of mother to her.

But this is not the same thing. It isn't.

I went to get clean.

It was miserable. I...

Day after day, shaking and sweating and wanting to die,

but I did it for Eli because he is my second chance,

and I am not gonna screw this up.

How did you find her?

I called her cell phone.

Okay, so what? She left her newborn to get high.

But she didn't get high.

She got clean, and that means something.

You know how hard it is to detox cold turkey.

Yeah. And it was admirable she was able to do it.

Does that mean she's able to take care of Eli?

Denise is. She's a kid.

Really? Does Denise have an apartment, a job,

somebody to help? There are plenty of single,

competent teenaged mothers in the world.

With a sick baby? Okay, guys. You know what?

We're not gonna solve this. We gotta call DCFS.

Melissa's better than the system.

Denise is better than Melissa.

I am calling Social Services.

Hey.

How do you feel about New Zealand?

Anything farther than the bathroom seems intimidating.

Why? There's a doctor there

who's doing experimental treatments on gliosarcomas.

They're called intracranial microcapsules,

which basically just means they're these--

No.

Thank you, but no.

I can't get on a plane and fly halfway around the world

for whatever that is.

It might be nothing. But it might be something.

And the point is, we won't know

until we get on the ground and really start--

Amelia, I agreed to do chemo. I'm fighting.

I don't wanna do anything to sacrifice time with Mason.

Especially getting on a plane to fly somewhere

for someone to do surgery on my brain.

A surgery that I might not wake up from.

I'm sorry, I can't.

Three times.

Three times? Ugh, I hate you.

Yes, well, I would hate me too. Ha, ha.

Look at you.

You're all "Violet got her groove back."

Yes. Who would've thought

my groove was in this 20-something paramedic

with these abs carved out of marble and this back...

Oh my God, his back. It's just like you ordered him.

Like you called a catalog and asked for those specifications.

I want that catalog. I've never done this before.

It's just sex. It's just pure, mind-numbing sex.

Maybe guys are right. Maybe "no strings attached" works.

Eh, every time I sleep with someone,

we wind up in a pit of despair.

Ha-ha-ha. Together. Stuck.

Stop. I'm serious.

All this makes me miss Sam. You miss Sam or you miss sex?

Both. You know, the irony has been

that the harder I tried to have a baby,

the less I actually had sex.

It's been months.

Which is probably why I threw myself at Jake.

What? Heh, heh. In Palm Springs.

I drank a bunch of martinis, and I wind up in his bed.

Addison. He turned me down.

You know, which I respect. And hate.

Ugh. I miss Sam.

Lazy. What?

Lazy. It's lazy. It's more than lazy.

You know, it's infuriating. Sheldon.

She's stoned, Sam.

She's not medicated, not even diagnosed.

I understand the pressure the prison shrinks are under.

But your sister is just stoned on a cocktail

of anti-psychotics and sedatives

that would leave a circus animal glassy-eyed and affect-less.

Okay, look, there might be a silver lining here, okay?

We don't know what Corinne is like under all those meds.

And once we get her off them, you might actually

be able to find your sister in there somewhere.

You wanna take her off her meds? Yeah.

The prison guard said she was deranged.

Deranged is not a diagnosis.

I just wanna get her off the meds long enough

to see what's going on with her. Okay? Can we do that?

Please.

Okay.

So Sheldon took her off her meds?

Yeah. Temporarily.

Well, did she...?

Is she any different?

Uh, not much. Not yet.

Apparently they had her pretty zonked out.

I'm gonna have to wait for it all to wear off,

but Sheldon canceled all his patients.

Said he would spend the day with her.

Try to make a real diagnosis. And then what?

I don't know.

Uh... I just...

I don't know.

Did you call your family? Your mom?

No. I've been taking this thing, like, a minute at a time.

I mean, I can't look ahead. I just...

I don't know.

It's not your job anymore, you know?

To take care of him. To worry about him.

He's my friend.

He'll be your friend again someday,

but right now he's mostly just your ex.

I mean, you still want a baby, right?

I know you needed a break, but has anything changed?

No. I still want a baby.

Then right now, Sam is your ex.

You try to pretend he's your friend and, uh...

And what? And you hurt worse.

I know he's having a tough time right now,

but he has other friends and...

And I would hate to see you hurt worse.

I gotta go to the hospital.

I'm-- I'm putting my foot down.

We're staying on the bed next time.

Why?

I'm gonna die from rug burn, that's why.

Why do we have to lie down at all?

You're trouble.

Oh. You kids got a hall pass?

I'm the only one you have to worry about.

Should I...?

Um, if I brought him in earlier, would he be okay?

Oh. Denise, it is not your fault.

I just want to protect him.

I know you do.

Why are you here? She wants to be with her baby.

Honey, Mommy's here, Eli,

and I am never leaving again, ever.

Liar. You're a liar.

You're gonna do to him what you did to me.

He is gonna end up like I did, No.

bouncing around, scared and alone.

I am clean now, okay? You can't do this here.

Oh, right. Until Eli cries

or you have a bad day at work or some guy dumps you,

that's all it's gonna take.

Look, I will not let you hurt him.

You are damaged and you are bad--

I have a problem, okay? You need to go outside.

For the first time, I have a reason to fix it.

Oh, so I wasn't worth it?

Oh, my God. What is it?

Get Dr. Montgomery. What is happening?

Sats are dropping. What does that mean?

He's having trouble breathing.

Intubate. Don't. Don't.

He's not getting air. We have to.

Intubating will increase air-trapping into the lungs.

We need to get him to the OR now.

Dr. Freedman said he's not strong enough for surgery.

Let them do their job. You don't know.

The surgery might kill him, but not doing surgery will.

Enough! Move out of the way. Now!

: "I don't wanna die."

: "But you must die!"

All right, time for all monsters to get off the table.

Dinner is ready.

: I'm not hungry.

I just wanna see my mom.

I made you mac and cheese. That's your favorite, right?

Charlotte, I really just wanna see my mom.

I know you do.

But visiting hours are over for tonight.

But you're in charge there, you can take me.

Your mom's still resting. She's not this tired.

Everyone keeps saying that, but she's never this tired.

Tell me what you think of the mac and cheese.

This isn't right. It's not how my mom makes it.

Well, there's macaroni and there's cheese.

I don't want this. I want to see my mom.

I know you're upset and you've been through a lot,

and you're worried about your mom.

But that does not mean that you can act like...

Mason?

Mason.

Mason!

Thank you. How's Eli?

Addison's still working on him.

Isolated the main bronchus, but hasn't done the lobectomy.

But that kid's a fighter. I think he'll do okay.

Hey, man, I know we disagree about Melissa and Denise,

but let's not let it become a thing, okay?

It's not a thing.

You sure? I was just... Look.

My mind's on Eli, I'm walking down the hall,

and I see Violet making out with her boyfriend.

Oh.

It's annoying. Yeah, well...

Yeah, well, heh, what?

I mean, you guys are separated, right?

Doesn't mean I wanna see her fooling around

with someone I have to work with in my workplace.

Heh. You might not want to, but isn't that the next step?

I mean, you move on, she moves on.

Okay. Let's just say you and Charlotte split up,

she starts dating some hot male nurse.

Ha-ha-ha. Would you be cool with that

just because you had a few nights of fun?

I don't know how I would feel. Ha-ha-ha. Yes, you do.

Ah, speak of the devil. Hello?

I turned my back for one second, Coop.

One second, and he was gone.

What? Mason.

What? Where are you? He ran out the front door,

and now I'm out looking for him.

How long has he been gone, how far did he get?

I'm trying to figure that out. Okay, I'm calling the police.

Give me five minutes. If I can't find him, I'll call.

Are you feeling better?

Clearer?

A little.

Corinne, have you ever been formally diagnosed?

Schizophrenic.

Manic-depressive.

Paranoid delusions.

Every jail, every nuthouse,

a different shrink had a different idea.

I'm thirsty.

You're just coming down off the haloperidol.

Here, have some water.

Yeah, Sam, come in. Okay. Hey, Corinne.

Corinne has given me permission to include you

and disclose what she's sharing.

Isn't that right, Corinne? Mm-hm. Sure.

Bathroom? Sure, sure.

It's out the door, down the hall on the right. Okay? Easy.

Yeah. Thank you.

I was wondering what you remember.

You grew up with Corinne.

For purposes of diagnosis.

What I remember.

Uh, okay. I remember her being,

you know, the life of the party.

Until she was the death of it.

Can you explain that? Uh, she was wild.

She was wild. She was funny, she was loud.

Always dancing on tables.

Until she would fall off the tables. She, um...

She almost burned the house down.

Intentionally? No, she was...

She said she was making popcorn. The oil caught fire.

I remember her saying she thought it looked cool,

so instead of trying to put the fire out,

she started fanning the flames to make it bigger.

Luckily, I knew where the fire extinguisher was.

Was she drunk or high? I never could tell.

You know, she was just...

She was just wild.

And then...

And then what?

And then she would turn.

All of a sudden, she would think the world was against her.

I put out her fire, like, literally.

I stopped her from burning down the house and...

And? And she cried

for like three days straight.

She, uh... She threatened suicide.

She accused me of hating her and...

of wanting her dead.

She was not easy to live with.

She's my sister and I love her,

but when you say that she's in there somewhere...

I don't know how I feel about that.

Look, it's been a long day.

Do you mind if I just take her home,

and we can continue tomorrow?

Sure. All right. Thanks.

I appreciate this. Uh-huh.

Coop, I found him.

You know, when I was a little older than you are,

my cousins used to go

hang out at the river with their friends.

And I was just desperate to go.

But every time I asked my daddy, he said no.

I wasn't old enough.

So one weekend I snuck out.

Hitched a ride and went to see what all the fuss was about.

And you know what? My daddy was right.

It was just a whole lot of...

Well, big kid stuff.

That I wasn't ready for.

So, what I'm trying to tell you is,

sometimes, when you really wanna do something--

Is my mom dead?

Because no one's letting me see her.

When my nana went into the hospital,

she never came out.

Oh, honey.

Hey.

Oh, hey.

What's up? Nothing. I, uh...

Well, I saved a baby today.

Oh. Well, that's good, you know.

I was at home, I couldn't sleep and I saw your light on.

I wanted to, you know, make sure you were okay.

Where's Corinne? She's asleep.

Yeah?

I'm sorry. How did Charlotte lose Mason?

Mason was very upset,

and he just slipped out the door when she wasn't looking.

I need to see him. Okay, Charlotte's bringing him.

Now. Mom!

I thought you were dead.

I'm not. Of course I'm not.

Are you gonna be okay?

Yes, baby. Mommy's gonna be just fine.

Unh. Hey.

Hey.

You don't have to leave, you know.

Nothing's changed, Sam. I mean...

Nothing's changed. So... Unh.

I do have to go.

Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--

No, no, don't be sorry.

I'm not sorry. I just have to go.

I'm gonna check on you too. I'm worried about you.

I wish I could say you didn't have to be,

but honestly, I'm worried about me too.

You don't like me very much.

Uh, well, I don't really know you.

Only thing I know about you is the first thing you did

after your baby was born was leave to get high, so...

I was jonesing, he was screaming. I...

I had to get away and drugs are how I've always done that.

And now it's gonna be different?

How do I answer that?

I wanna say yes.

That I would die before I hurt Eli the way I hurt Denise.

But you're gonna tell me I'm an addict and addicts slip.

What do I say to that? It's true.

But this time,

I'm gonna do everything I can for that boy.

Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have that choice?

Eli could have died from the drugs you were doing

when you were pregnant.

His condition could have killed him after he was born.

DCFS could have taken him when you were gone.

You could have had a bad reaction detoxing.

Frankly, it is a miracle you're both even here right now.

And most parents...

Believe me, they don't get miracles.

I know I screwed up.

But I am making a choice.

And this time I am choosing Eli.

Good. I hope so.

Being a parent, a good parent,

that is an all day, every day job.

Every single day.

I am not kidding myself. I know it's going to be a fight.

Every day, like you said. And I'm...

I'm gonna fight. And what about Denise?

Maybe-- I don't know.

Maybe it's too late for us. I don't know.

I hope that it's not, but I learned on Denise.

And this time I'm gonna do it right with Eli.

I know that I left once.

And I'm sure there is a better way

to do what I had to do, but...

At least this time, even though I did the wrong thing,

it was for the right reasons.

It really was.

I believe in second chances, but I don't trust this woman.

She's been sober for eight days.

That's not enough time, not by a long shot, right?

Maybe Melissa doesn't have to raise Eli all by herself.

You know, maybe she can ask for help.

Denise cares, right?

She does, but, I mean,

you should see these two people together.

Well, you should see me and Pete together.

But kids are an exception.

If there's one thing that Pete and I agree on, it's Lucas.

That's it? Just Lucas?

If you're asking me if it's over, I don't know.

Back when we were together, you know, Pete was an ass.

And now that we're apart, he's...

He's actually more of an ass. You know, he--

Ha-ha-ha.

No, he refuses to let me be happy

with anybody else. Okay, but seeing you with Scott.

That has gotta be weird for him.

What are you doing? What do you mean?

You're defending him.

No, I get where he's coming from.

From a place where he wants me miserable.

No, he's hurt. He's the one who wanted

to see other people. I hated the idea. I cried.

I thought about it logically and I thought, "Pete's right.

"He wants to be happy. I wanna be happy.

And neither of us should interfere with that."

Aren't you interfering by being in a relationship

with somebody he works with? The thing with Scott,

it's not a relationship. It's sex.

It's exactly the same thing that he's doing.

The only difference is that it's someone he sort of knows.

And sometimes sees.

But, Coop, it's... It's not going anywhere.

Well, maybe you should tell Pete that.

How long are you gonna keep Mason in the dark?

Well, you saw how he reacted when he thought I...

I can't tell him.

With all due respect,

last night, Mason dumped dinner on the floor,

ran out the door and scared the hell out of me.

Because he is worried about you.

Now, he's smart and he needs some answers,

and this is only gonna get worse.

If you don't tell him--

He's never gonna forgive you.

And he'll hate me and Cooper,

the only people he'll have left.

Erica, I know why you're lying to him.

But you're lying to him.

It's too much.

I can't tell him.

: Not yet.

I just can't.

I told you Eli was a fighter. So is his mother.

What is it with you and Melissa?

From the very get-go,

you've just been on her side. Violet abandoned Lucas.

Is that really what's bothering you?

It was a big deal.

Nothing to do with who Violet's sleeping with.

Look, when she walked out, it was just me and Lucas.

And he couldn't talk yet, but his eyes said it all.

"Where's Mommy? You're not my mommy."

When Violet came back, I was so angry at her,

but she did come back.

And I gave her another chance.

And whatever I think about her, she's an incredible mother.

Lucas would be much worse off without her.

Dr. Freedman.

I had to call.

I've spoken with Melissa and Denise.

I'm aware of the situation. There is no situation.

Unless Melissa starts using again.

There's no way to know.

But Melissa did make a choice to get clean for her child.

Dr. Freedman, we've been through this a lot of times.

We like to keep a child with its mother if possible.

But if your instincts say it's to Eli's detriment,

then we can explore other options.

Mm-hm. Yeah.

: I need to talk to you.

: Just a minute.

No, I need to talk to you now.

: Shainie, Can I call back?

Yeah. Thanks. What's so important?

: I have a lead

on a way to treat Erica's gliosarcoma.

I have a lead.

If it involves getting on a plane,

Erica already said she didn't wanna do that.

This one involves getting on a plane to Seattle.

I think my brother Derek can help us.

People can do awful things, but they can also change.

You don't know my mother. No, I don't.

But I do know that being a parent is hard.

And it is easy to make mistakes.

Even when you're trying to do the right thing.

Is that why you're giving her Eli?

Because you think it's been hard for her?

I think it's been hard for your mom.

I think it's been hard for you.

And it's sad.

But hopefully it can be a reminder to both of you,

that with Eli, it has to be different.

He's gonna need a lot of care while he's recovering.

Your mom's gonna need help being a mom.

I--

I know it must not seem fair to you,

but you are a family.

And you have to look out for one another.

Hey.

Lucas wanted to know if his truck could fly,

and it can't, so I got him a new one.

I thought he could leave it at your house. No stairs.

You know, it's just sex.

With Scott. It's just sex. It's a distraction.

I'm sorry. I'm just not evolved enough

to wanna hear about your sex life.

No. I wasn't gonna give you details,

I just wanted you to know it wasn't serious.

Okay. I just... I still don't like it.

You walked away, so you shouldn't care.

I know I shouldn't care, but I do.

You do?

Yeah.

Well, maybe that means--

You don't have to interpret my feelings, Violet. I just...

I care.

Is he really gonna be okay?

I resected the damaged part of Eli's lung.

In time, healthy tissue will grow in its place.

Thank you.

You can do this, Melissa.

I know. It's all about Eli now.

Maybe not all.

I thought that you-- Bailed?

Yeah.

I'm...

I'm so-- I know, Mom. I know.

I am sorry.

Then do better with Eli, okay?

Do better.

Hey. How's it going with your sister?

Pretty much the same.

It'll take a while for the meds to wear off.

You took her off everything? No.

No, I kept her on a mild sedative,

because we didn't know what to expect when...

We just don't know anything yet.

Keep me updated, okay? Thanks, Sheldon.

You keep her at your house?

No, no. She's in my office.

Staring at the walls. That's hard.

Yeah, it's... Hard.

Hey. Hey.

Okay.

Should've seen that coming. Didn't. Should've.

Jake. When you're, uh...

When you're ready to meet more surrogates, let me know.

I know it's complicated and it's scary,

and we can't promise you that this will work.

The one thing I can promise is this gives you a little hope.

Isn't that what we said about chemo?

What we said about chemo was it would buy you some time.

You told us you didn't want whatever time you had left

ruined by what chemo does to your body.

But this surgery,

it has the potential to be more than just a treatment.

We're not talking about buying time,

we're talking about curing you.

I know you don't wanna tell Mason

that at some point this tumor will kill you.

If you're open to this, you may not have to.

Hey.

You hungry?

It reminds me.

Remember that house we used to go to in the summers?

It was in North Carolina.

Right on the beach.

Uh, yeah, I remember.

Your house reminds me of that.

I pushed myself to the limit that semester.

Maybe even past the limit.

I was stressed, didn't sleep,

got an incomplete in tennis, had to take it over.

And in retrospect?

I loved every minute of it.