All language subtitles for Private.Practice.S05E01.God.Laughs.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DD5.1.x264-NTb_track3_eng

My mother always used to say,

"People plan, and God laughs."

Which is funny, because Bizzy
didn't even believe in God.

Do you?

I...

I don't know.

I mean, the idea of something
bigger than me, uh, God

being in charge of my life
is somehow comforting, I guess.

But it's also unsettling.

I think, if there is a god,

he doesn't want
to hurt us or judge us.

Hurting and judging
are distinctly human traits.

It's a letter
from the medical board.

They're suspending my license.

They're coming after
the practice.

I met a guy.
We'll have to tell

who we are sooner or later.

I can't come to Fiji.
Why not?

What do you have
holding you here?

Look, I just slipped.

Starting now,
your surgical privileges

at this hospital are revoked.

If you run away again--
Again?

You dropped Lucas in my lap
and you ran!

I'm going.

I missed you.

I missed you too.

I'm still gonna want a baby,
Sam.

I wanna believe in a god who's--

Who's like the kind of parent
I hope to be one day.

Accepting,

loving, forgiving, present.

I mean, life's too hard
to believe in the other kind.

Don't you think?

Wow. That was, uh...

Different.
Better.

Amazing.
That was amazing.

Why did we break up?

You really want me
to remind you?
No.

No, I don't. Ha, ha.

Okay.

Sam.
Mm. No, just ignore it.

Stop, stop.

No, Sam, it's the hospital.
I'm not on call.

Are you sure?
Yes.

Yeah? Oh.

This is Dr. Bennett.

Okay. I'll be right there.

Take it off.

I'm gonna need another drink
for that.

I can make that happen.

Bitch, get off the bar.
We're not in Vegas.

Hey. Whoa. Hey.
No need for name calling.

We can all be friends.

Come dance with me, sister.

Guys like
a little girl on girl.

See...

Now I see a need
for name calling...

Bitch.

Son of a...

Y'all suck as a mosh pit.

Attention, passengers
on Flight 531 to New York,

we apologize
for the ongoing delay.

We're working to correct
an issue

with the hydraulics system

and will announce
a new departure time

as soon as we have one.
Thank you.

Maybe the delay is a sign.

No, it's not.
We made the right decision.

It's time to go home.

Oh, really?

I don't know. I feel like

I should go back
to my mother's house.

Come on, Jo.
You don't throw away

12 years
of marriage over one fight.

Trust me.

You'll see.

Okay? We'll...
We'll work it out

like we always do.

This time is different.
You know that.

This time, I don't know
if we can fix it.

Damn it. Again.

Sam.
Not now.

Sam, how long has he been down?

Forty-five minutes.

You have to call it.
No.

Sam, call it.

Time of death...

Ten seventeen.

Thanks for coming in.
Duncan was on call

but he got stuck in the OR
doing an aortic valve.

No problem.
Uh, if you're good here

I was thinking about
heading back home. Hey.

I didn't know you were--

Yeah. Uh, I have a mother--

With triplets,
went into early labor.

And they already
have twins,

so I'm going to retire

on that family.
Hmm.

Did you deliver them yet?

No, no,
she hasn't dilated yet.

Okay,
so you're still waiting.

Because I was thinking,
I think I'm done for the night.

Yeah.
Well, good news.

Pete never showed up for his
shift, so, Sam, you can fill in.

You can keep Addison company
all night.

Okay.

As long as you
stop pretending

that you two
aren't back together,

because you can't sell it,

and it's making me
uncomfortable.

Wait. What happened
to Pete now?

Oh, he's probably upset
because Violet went to New York.

What?

Yeah, I saw her
at the airport.

What were you doing
at the airport?

I was, uh,
saying goodbye to Nai.

Violet just left?
She didn't say anything?

To you. I'm sure she had
some things to say to Pete.

Which is probably why
he's upset.

He could've been upset here.

Lord knows there are enough
people around to cheer him up.

Pete's hard to cheer up.
He can get really dark.

Maybe I should
go over there

and see if I can get him
out for a drink.

Give him some time, take Lucas
out for ice cream or something.

Either way, have a ball.

I'll be here,
with Sam and Addison.

I need coffee.

Can I get you anything?
No, I'm fine.

God.

Thank you.

I'm sorry. I don't usually
melt down in public like this.

Oh, please.

Airports are like hospitals
or high school dances.

Somebody's crying somewhere.

I'm-- I'm Violet Turner.

Joanna Gibbs.

I heard you
talking to your husband.

I'm so sorry.
I never eavesdrop.

What are you gonna do
in a place like this?

No, it's-- It's fine.
We're fine.

I'm sure.

And I keep telling myself
the same thing.

I wrote a book, and I'm going to
New York for this book tour,

but I left my son
and my husband at home.

And that's created
a little bit of...

Drama.

But I guess
that's what marriage is, right?

You fight, you work it out.

Rinse. Repeat.
Ha, ha.

Yeah,
sometimes it feels like that.

You just
have to remind yourself

it moves the relationship
forward.

Unless you're always fighting
about the same thing.

I'm a lawyer.
I work horrendous hours.

And David, my husband...

He doesn't get it.
Ahem.

No. He used to.

He's always been incredibly
supportive.

You know, most men put
their own careers first.

David held down two jobs
to pay for my law school.

And then he listened to me bitch
for eight years

while I worked round-the-clock

trying to make partner
at the firm, heh.

And then when I finally did,

I think it meant as much to him
as it did to me.

You don't see that often
in husbands.

I know.

The problem is,

things haven't gotten
any easier at the firm,

and all of a sudden,
he's not like that.

I don't know.
Something in him changed.

I came out here to...

Get away, I guess.

Well, sometimes distance
can give you

a little perspective
on a relationship.

Yeah.

When David flew out,
he was so apologetic.

I know he's right.

In the heat of the moment,

you say or do things
you wouldn't...

When you say "do things"...

Wh--? What happened?

Last time we fought

David hit me.

Come on, Pete.
I know you're in there.

I saw your car out front.
Come on, man.

I also know that Violet

left for New York today
and that that sucks.

I brought some beer.

I thought I could come in,
and we could commiserate.

Or I could leave the beer,

and I'll take Lucas
out for a little bit.

Lucas?

Pete!

Look, man, I really do not
want to see your ass again,

but I am a little freaked out,
so I'm coming in, okay?

Pete, I'm coming in, okay?

Pete. Pete.

All right.
326 Las Brisas. Come now.

Okay, stay with me, Pete.

No, it's his house.
His name is Pete Wilder.

I think it's a heart attack.
I got no pulse. I'm starting--

Four, five, six.

Okay, stay with me, Pete.
Ambulance is on the way.

Lucas?

Fifteen, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

Lucas, come out here, buddy.

Twenty.

Lucas, I know it's scary,

but we're just taking care
of your dad, okay?

Hey.

You okay? I know it's scary,

but we're helping your dad,
okay?

He's gonna be okay. I promise.

Come on, Pete. Come on, man.

There he is,
my knight in shining armor.

You okay?

Fell down, need stitches,

didn't think I should drive.

Thank you for coming.

Yeah.

You didn't think
you should drive,

or the bartender
took your keys?

Tomato, tomato.

Amelia, y--
You're drunk.

Not quite.
I was on my way to being drunk

when all of the bleeding
interrupted my evening.

What happened to AA, huh?

My problem was with pills,
Sheldon, not booze.

Tomato, tomato.

You tomatoed me back.
That's clever.

I like that. I like you.

Well, I like you too,
but I'm worried about you.

Oh, please don't be.

You're a drug addict
using a drug.

Just because
it comes in liquid form

doesn't mean
it's not a drug.

And addicts using drugs
have consequences.

For example, you need
stitches in your hand--

Your Hopkins-trained
neurosurgeon hand.

And that-- That is a potentially
severe consequence, and I--

Amelia.

Relax, Sheldon. I'm not
trying to sleep with you.

I needed you
to shut up so that

you could give me
a ride to the hospital

and I won't bleed to death
in the street.

Could you do that for me?

Yeah.

I'll lecture you more later.

I figured.

Has he ever hit you before?

No. Never. No.

His hours are getting
cut back at work.

Mine are getting worse,
so he's always home, stewing.

I know it's a cliché,

but it really was at least
partially my fault.

Do you really believe that?

We were supposed to go
for a run in the park...

And at the last minute, a client
wanted a conference call.

Not the first time
this happened.

But we just

fell into our same pattern.

He got mad.
I got defensive.

We ended up fighting
for so long

that I was going to miss
the call anyway,

so I texted my assistant
while he was talking.

I know it drives him crazy,
but I did it anyway.

And he reacted...

Badly.

So you came out here.

See my mother.

And what does she have to say
about what happened?

She adores David.

I couldn't bring myself
to tell her.

Do you have any good friends
in New York?

Great ones, actually.

I have a group from college
and law school,

plus some great women
at work.

Have you told any of them
what happened?

You haven't told anyone.

Things like this

are not supposed to happen
to women like me.

How's he doing?
Pulse is thready.

Hasn't regained consciousness.
I'll take Lucas.

Know how long he's been down?
You get ahold of Violet?

I think she's in the air.

You give him antiarrhythmics?
We bolused him times 2.

All right, I need an EKG,
Chem-20, enzymes, and a CBC.

He's on the monitors.
All right, give it to me.

He's having trouble breathing.
Need to control his airway.

I'll intubate.
I got the chart here.

All right, ST elevation
in the anterior leads.

He's having an acute MI.
How's it coming, Coop?

I can't visualize the cords.
He's in v-fib.

All right. Almost there.
Almost there.

Charge them to 360.

Clear.

Cooper.

You okay?
I'm all right.

He's back in sinus.
Get him to the cath lab

and open those blocked arteries.

Go. Go, go, go.
Come on. Come on. Let's go.

I'm okay.

This is very MacGyver of you.
Shut up.

You gonna fashion a bomb out of
nothing but your bra strap

and that suture kit?

Stop thinking about
my bra strap, Sheldon.

Yeah, actually, I was thinking
that the ER would be

a more suitable place
for sutures.

Why don't we page Dr. Freud,

ask him why you talked about
my underwear?

Do you always use
sexual innuendo

to deflect potential conflict,
or is...

No, not always.
Only with men.

Could you hold this?

Why aren't we in the ER?

Because interns do sutures
in ERs and interns suck.

But why else?

Amelia.

I don't want to run into
Charlotte, okay?

She'll start quoting
the AA big book at me

and I am in no mood.

I see. So sexual innuendo
for men,

and with women, it's...

Avoidance.
Got it.

And you're planning to suture
your hand yourself?

Well, I was hoping
you could help.

I'm a shrink. I suck worse
than the interns. No.

In that case, yes,

I'm planning to suture
my own hand.

But you have to give me
the shot to numb it.

Can you handle that or is
my bra strap too distracting?

Oh.

Hey.
Hey.

Where's Pete?

They, uh, took him to, um...

The cath lab.

How's he doing?

Sam had to, uh, paddle him
to get his...

His rhythm back,
but, you know, fine.

How are you doing?
Are you okay?

Uh, either Pete has
a really narrow trachea,

or somebody handed me
the wrong size ET tube

because I wasn't quite done
intubating him

when Sam yelled "clear."

Oh.

And I got a little...
Oh, Coop.

I-- I'm just a little...
Spacey?

Uh... Yeah.
Tingly?

I remember my first year
residency,

I scrubbed in on
an abdominal hysterectomy,

and, uh, I was standing
down by the patient's knee

so I had to lean in
to get a better look.

Midway through,
her heart stopped.

I remember the attending

grabbing the paddles,
calling "clear."

I lifted my hands up,

but my entire stomach
was still touching her legs.

Mommy.

When I got to the house

he was under the dining room
table, hiding.

He saw?

Sweetie,
you're gonna be okay.

We gotta figure out a way
to get in touch with Violet.

It's not like I didn't
want to tell somebody.

I-- I don't know how
to talk about it.

You're doing great.
Because you're a stranger.

But my mother, my friends--
I'd be too embarrassed.

Everyone knows

Joanna Gibbs, Phi Beta Kappa,

order of the coif,
youngest partner at the firm.

If I tell them
what happened,

I'll just be Joanna Gibbs,
battered wife.

Here he comes.

Go to the ladies' room.
What?

Go to the ladies' room.
I'll meet you there.

The coffee in here
smelled kind of grim

so I went to the terminal.

I got you a vanilla latte
in case--

I have to go to the bathroom.

Jo, are you all right?

Is she okay?

I don't know.

The vessel's tight.

Having runs of V-tach.

Lucas.

Having difficulty inserting
the stent.

Lucas.
He's fine. He's with Addison.

Sam. Is his face...?

It's not good.

Muscle paralysis,
right side.

Either his heart was stopped
long enough

that he has brain damage
or there's a bleed.

We should page Amelia.
Let's pray this is reversible.

Get the neuro on call here now.

It should be Amelia.

We'll take whoever's closest.

The catheter dissected
his coronary artery.

He's bleeding into his chest.
Start compressions.

We lost his pulse.

We gotta get him to the OR,
get him on bypass.

We're not gonna have time.

Just do it. Just do it. Go.

Sam, his eyes.

There's just enough circulation
to perfuse his brain.

Don't stop.
I'm trying!

Mm. Is that it?

Yep.

How are you? Y--? You okay?

Nothing will sober you up

like repeatedly puncturing
your own flesh with sharp metal.

Oh, yeah.

I need a drink.
You wanna come?

How about I take you
to a meeting instead?

How about you stop sounding
exactly like Charlotte?

Are you on call?

Were you drinking
while you were on call?

God, Sheldon.
No, I'm not on call, but--

But they are
paging me anyway.

Amelia.

What's going on?

Did Charlotte call you?

No, but I just got a page
from Sam.

Why do you have Lucas?

You guys, what's going on?

Hi.

Are you okay?

David is not a violent man.

This was just a fluke.

But you left him
to go somewhere safe.

Do you have any reason
to doubt that instinct?

You don't understand
the relationship

that David and I have.

Maybe not.

But I do know what it feels like
to be the victim of violence.

I know how it feels when
the confidence and security

that you thought you had
goes out the window.

And if you ever want
that back

that sense of control
over your own life,

you can't just not tell anyone
and pretend it didn't happen.

Nobody ever really gets
to control their life.

You meet a guy,

you fall in love,

you make all these plans,
and then

your husband's career
doesn't

work out
the way he thought it would.

He gets frustrated and angry
because who wouldn't?

I know how that sounds.

But marriage is complicated.

And you're not inside
this one.

You make sacrifices
to get through

He hit you.
the hard times.

That's not a sacrifice,
that's abuse.

We have to stop.

Because really,

what qualifies you to define
my relationship

and tell me what to do?

You seem like
a very nice person,

Heh.

and I appreciate
your concern.

I do.

But this is just
none of your business.

I have to-- I have to
get back to my husband.

Does Violet know?

She's on a plane
to New York.

I called, I e-mailed,
I texted.

I don't have good news.

Pete's pressure keeps
bottoming out.

Sam took him to the OR
to put him on bypass.

What are you doing here?

I got a page
that Sam needed me.

Is Pete having neuro
complications?

Slurred speech
and a facial droop.

Probably a CVA.

Oh, God.

Buddle's on his way.

Well, I'm here now.

What happened to your hand?

My hand's fine.

I'm gonna go talk to Sam.

Amelia.

What happened to her hand?

She cut it.
It needed some stitches.

It's... It's fine.

What's happening?
He's on bypass.

He's gonna need
a 4-vessel graft.

He may have a bleed.
Why wait?

Dye. He had
two long sessions of CPR.

The high-peak pressure might

have ruptured
one of his vessels.

There. If I get in now,
I can clamp it.

He's already on bypass. I have
four arteries to graft first.

By the time you're done,

Pete'll be lucky
if he can drool.

Look, you take care
of your part, I'll do mine.

11-blade...
Prep for a left-side craniotomy.

Clear the fluoroscope.
I'm gonna need a craniotome,

a joker, and some bone wax.
Stop.

Amelia, I said stop.

You know,
we should switch seats.

That's where I was sitting
for the Violet-Katie thing.

And?

Well, that turned out okay,

so I should sit there again.

And this is where I was sitting
when Dell died.

Oh, well, even more so.

I wasn't here
either of those times.

I was operating, so...

No, okay, you can stay there,
but you and me.

How do you think
Sam and Amelia are doing?

I think Sam and Amelia

are exactly who
I'd want in there, but...

But what?

Having everyone count on you
to save the life

of someone they love,

trying to set aside
your own feelings,

it's hard, that's all.

Hey, Lucas. You hungry?
Mm-hm.

Yeah? Let's try to go find
something good to eat.

There we go.

Call me if you hear anything,
okay?

Yeah.

Any word from Violet?
No.

But this says
her plane hasn't left.

I mean, she's still gotta be
at the airport, right?

Can I do anything?

What're you doing?

Pete's got an arterial bleed.

If I don't clamp--
Buddle's ten minutes out.

He doesn't have ten minutes.
What's going on?

She cut her hand.

But I'm fine.
Are you?

Charlotte, I'm fine.

You can say that--

Whatever's going on between
you two, now is not the time.

Amelia, can you cut?

It's my left hand.
I'm a righty.

Okay, then.

I know this has been
a scary night.

And there's so many things
that have happened

that you shouldn't have...

Had to see. It's not fair.

But you have your juice now.

so hopefully,
that's all that matters, huh?

So your daddy's gonna be okay.

He's got great doctors
working with him.

I think he's gonna be okay.

And your mommy is gonna be here
very soon, so that's good.

Right?

But you know what?

Right now

I'm glad
that I'm here with you.

Attention passengers
on Flight 531 to New York.

The mechanical problem
has been resolved.

You should proceed
back to your gate.

Boarding will begin
in 15 minutes.

Thank you.

Okay, you're right.
You did not ask my opinion,

this is not my business,
but just-- Don't do this.

Don't get on the plane.
What?

I do know what it's like
to be in a complicated marriage,

but what's going on
is another thing.

Jo, why is she--?

and you're not ready to go home.
This is ridiculous.

If you can't talk to your mom
or friends, talk to me,

but don't go.

Okay, we're done here.
We're done. Come on.

Excuse me,
are you Dr. Violet Turner?

I have an emergency call for you
from Dr. Freedman.

Coop?

Oh, God.

Violet?

Full belly.

That's good.

I know he's scared,

but he can't really understand
what's going on, can he?

Well,
it's hard to tell.

Kids absorb a lot.

And even if he doesn't realize
what's happening around him,

Lucas feels the crisis.

What'll it do to him?

Well, usually,
there's some regression

in eating and toileting,

and periods
where he can't be consoled.

Is there anything else
that we should be doing?

We're doing it.
You're doing it.

He needs to be around
familiar people,

places and smells.

More than anything,
right now he... He needs Violet.

What if Pete doesn't make it?
I mean...

It's a cataclysmic event
for a child.

One that we shouldn't even think
about unless we need to.

I didn't have a choice, did I?

I mean, Amelia was there.
It couldn't wait.

You did not have a choice.

And, you know, hopefully,

if she had any doubt
that she could do it,

she wouldn't have
pushed so hard.

Amelia never has any doubts.
That's what I'm worried about.

But it's Pete.
You did not have a choice.

What if one of us died?

Are you seriously asking me
this right now?

When I was 14 and my dad
had that heart attack,

it scared the hell out of me.
But the worst part

was I remember being
in the hospital with my mom,

and she kept saying--

Not even to me,
she just kept repeating,

"I don't want
to be without him.

I can't be without him."

And I just...

Haven't you ever
thought about it?

Ever? Yes.

But at this moment it's not you
and me I'm worried about.

Would you
get married again?

Would you
not want me to?

I don't know. I guess...

I mean, I'd want you to be
happy, so...

You could get married again.

What about me?

I'd want you
to be miserable

every day
for the rest of your life.

You asked.

Hello.

Hey, Violet.
Whose phone is this?

No, okay,
he's still in surgery.

I will check myself right now,
okay? I'm checking.

Okay, he's ready to come off
pump. You done yet?

Almost there.

I gotta get him off
this pump now, Amelia.

The vessel's done,
but I still gotta close.

Just take him off.
Okay.

Arterial off.

Venous off.

Okay.

We got him back.
All right. Got him back.

Hey, guys. How's...?

Lost his pressure again.

All right, he's in v-fib.
Damn it.

Cooper, I need you to scrub in.

Pete's still in the OR.
Cooper's checking on him.

I'm not gonna wait on Cooper.

Hey, is he--?

He's fine, Violet. Go.
Okay.

I'm not getting anything.

What can I do?
All right, charge again.

It's not working.
Sam.

Come here. Squeeze.

Give me five cc's of EPI,
one to 1,000.

Come on. Don't be gentle.
Squeeze.

Violet.

He's been in and out of
consciousness,

but the grafts are holding.

His cardiac output
is on target--

And he's gonna be okay?

Yeah.

He's gonna be okay.

Recovery's gonna be tough,
but you know that.

And in a couple of weeks,

when you get around to making
those thank-you baskets,

Sam only saved his life once.

I saved it twice.

This is true.
Yep.

Thank you. Both of you.
Mm-hm.

Ugh. What am I supposed to say
to him now, "I'm sorry"?

It sounds so pathetic,
but I do want to apologize--

For what?

If I hadn't argued with him,
then left--

Oh, come on.

You did not cause this.

Violet, you couldn't have
done anything to stop it.

It was bad luck.

Yeah, go see him.
You'll feel better.

Yeah.

Oh, don't be worried if he seems
a little, uh, euphoric.

His hormones are still
a little bit scrambled

from anesthesia and bypass.
Wait a minute.

So you're saying Pete's
in there acting like Mr. Rogers,

but with a zipper scar?
Ooh.

It'll wear off.

You better get in there.

:
Hey.

Oh, my God.

Oh, you are beautiful.

Oh, and my chest hurts.

Mm.

You had a heart attack.

Sam did a quadruple bypass.

Then you had a brain bleed,
so Amelia had to get in there.

Oh, that explains
the headache.

Ah.

You know what? I know it sounds
odd, but honestly...

I think I'm okay.

Yeah, I--
I think that I can get up now.

Okay, okay. Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe tomorrow--

Oh, okay, okay, okay.
Ha, ha.

Oh. Oh.

Huh.

I love you.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Nothing. Nothing's wrong.

You're okay, and I'm here,
and...

We fought.

And then I left...

Again.

And it felt like I was going

to something this time,
not just away,

but I know it probably didn't
feel that way to you.

And then Lucas...

If I hadn't gone, maybe none
of this would've happened.

Violet, stop.

I'm okay.

You're okay,
and Lucas is okay,

and that's all that matters,
right?

Hmm. You are so beautiful.

Hey.

Hey yourself.

So good about Pete, right?

You know, heart's better,
head's fine.

I mean, that leak turned
out to be pretty large,

but I clipped it.

Rocked it is actually
what I did.

Hey, uh...

Thanks for, you know,

saying that you were worried
about my hand.

I appreciate that.

You're not welcome, Amelia.

Okay.

What I mean by that is,

I will not enable you, and I
will not protect you anymore,

not ever again.

It's a onetime deal.

Until you get your
sobriety in hand--

Look, I am not a drunk.

Charlotte,
I have never been a drunk.

The fact that you're trying
to draw a distinction

between booze and drugs
tells me you're in trouble.

Because you know better.

And you been around long enough
to see how this goes.

Alcoholics go out on pills,
they go crazy.

Addicts go out on booze,

and they think they can
handle it, but they can't.

I am fine.
No, you're not.

The fact is, Amelia,

I care about you too much
to trust you right now.

Your privileges
are still suspended.

Next time someone pages you,
don't answer.

Okay, I swear to God,
if you start right now--

I was just gonna offer you
a ride home.

I'd appreciate that.

What's wrong?
I'm mad at you.

I couldn't be mad last night,
but now Pete's stable,

now you've seen him,
so now I can be mad, and I am...

Really mad.

About what?
About you just picking up

and leaving your husband
and your problems.

It almost killed me
the last time you did it,

and you just did it again.

You're right.

Okay, you do not get
to deal with losing your license

by just getting on an airplane.

And you can't
end an argument with Pete

by just leaving town.
You're right.

This is your life.
Stick around and fight for it.

Wait, Cooper.
I said you're right.

And you need to get a new cell
phone with a better battery.

Hey.
Hey.

There's Mama.
Oh. Hi, buddy.

Oh, I missed you so much.

It has been a crazy night.

He's been mostly sleeping,
but he did eat.

I mean, just cookies,
which I know isn't great, but--

Oh, it's fine.

Thank you, Addison.

All right.
You ready to go home?

Mm-hm.
Just you and me?

Turns out I'm not going away
after all.

Uh-oh.

Hello.

Hey.

Joanna, you're still here.

No. No, no, no.
I really want to talk to you.

Life is hard.

It's hard and scary
and out of my control,

and that part makes me
craziest--

The fact that I cannot control
the world

or what happens to the people
I love.

You know,
and the idea of me

having a kid, not being able
to control what happens...

Yeah, but every day
I deliver a baby.

And every day I see
that moment of change.

You know,
that moment when every cell

in a woman's body
is transformed.

And whatever happens, whether
the baby is sick or healthy,

happy or unhappy, lives or dies,
whatever happens

that woman will never be
just a woman again.

She will always be a mother.

She's transformed.

And it's exhilarating
and terrifying and...

I want that.

I want it.

Sam hasn't changed his mind,
though.

As much as I want it,
he doesn't want it.

But for today...

For some reason, that's okay.

Because I made an appointment
with a fertility specialist

who is supposed to be amazing,
and...

I went.

There's just one thing
that's weird

and potentially complicated.

People plan, and God laughs.

Hello.
Ahem.

Hello.

You?

Well.

Uh, this is a--
A nice surprise.

I-- I'm, uh, I'm sorry.
I-- I had no idea.

Well,
it was your choice to skip

the preliminary consultation
in my office.

Everyone kept saying,
"fertility, Jake Reilly"

like there was no other choice.
Well, that's flattering.

But Jake Reilly is you?

And you are...

Addison Montgomery.

Well, it's nice to meet you,
Addison, officially.

Yeah. Um...

I, uh... Shouldn't you be
in Fiji or something?

Well, I-- I was on the plane.
I got paged.

Turns out another
fertility genius

had loaded up a patient with HCG
and nearly ruptured her ovaries.

So I spent the night
in the hospital.

I'm here to watch her
for the next few days.

Oh, I'm sorry about that.

Yeah, it would've been
a great trip,

but, uh, you know,
sometimes you have

more important things to do.

I figured that was
the decision you made,

and, uh, looks like I'm right.

Oh, no, no. Me being here?

No, this has nothing to do with
why I didn't get on the plane.

Anyway, listen, the, uh,

flirtation that we had,
that was fun.

I enjoyed that
probably as much as you did,

but, uh, I have no problem
leaving that in the past

and simply taking care
of you as a patient--

I don't think you understand.
Doesn't have to be awkward.

I have a boyfriend.
Will we be using his sperm?

No, we will not
be using his sperm.

We won't be using
anyone's sperm.

That's gonna make this hard.

We are not gonna
be doing anything.

All right. Just--
Just take a breath.

It's okay.
Trust me, all right?

I'm gonna give you a baby.

So how do I deal with that?