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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,016 --> 00:00:04,576 Mnh! How can my babies be early?! 2 00:00:04,634 --> 00:00:06,305 I've never been early to anything! 3 00:00:06,393 --> 00:00:08,134 Maybe they're not mine! 4 00:00:08,222 --> 00:00:09,891 I've always been faithful to you! 5 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:12,457 Push, damn it! 6 00:00:12,545 --> 00:00:14,613 I'm not losing another baby today. 7 00:00:15,535 --> 00:00:16,603 Cardiac arrest. 8 00:00:16,691 --> 00:00:17,720 Crash cart! 9 00:00:17,808 --> 00:00:19,363 The shock could kill the baby! 10 00:00:19,924 --> 00:00:21,583 That's something I'll just have to live with. 11 00:00:21,670 --> 00:00:23,668 Maybe we could turn off the TV? 12 00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,160 Clear! 13 00:00:25,248 --> 00:00:27,480 Well, folks, I'm afraid I have some bad news. 14 00:00:27,568 --> 00:00:28,482 Oh, my God, no. 15 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:29,559 N-No, not that bad. 16 00:00:29,647 --> 00:00:31,590 I'm sorry. I did not think that through. 17 00:00:31,678 --> 00:00:33,152 No, you're not giving birth today. 18 00:00:33,389 --> 00:00:35,590 You've had false contractions, known as Braxton Hicks. 19 00:00:35,678 --> 00:00:36,625 It's very common. 20 00:00:36,713 --> 00:00:38,324 Uh, so what does that mean timing-wise? 21 00:00:38,412 --> 00:00:39,613 It's no indication. 22 00:00:39,701 --> 00:00:40,872 It could be five weeks from now, 23 00:00:40,959 --> 00:00:42,519 could be five hours from now. 24 00:00:42,658 --> 00:00:44,099 I suggest you and your husband go home, 25 00:00:44,186 --> 00:00:45,840 get some sleep while you still can. 26 00:00:45,928 --> 00:00:48,230 Oh, we're not married. We're just lovers. 27 00:00:48,318 --> 00:00:49,533 Ugh! Yuck. 28 00:00:49,626 --> 00:00:50,809 She hates that word. 29 00:00:50,897 --> 00:00:51,980 Grosses me out, too, 30 00:00:52,068 --> 00:00:54,496 and I spend a lot of my time covered in afterbirth. 31 00:00:57,846 --> 00:00:59,461 Everything okay? 32 00:00:59,549 --> 00:01:01,527 Um... that was weird. 33 00:01:01,615 --> 00:01:03,699 Those little people with the full-size baby? 34 00:01:03,862 --> 00:01:06,621 No, when the doctor called you my husband. 35 00:01:06,763 --> 00:01:08,918 Well, people are gonna assume... 36 00:01:09,006 --> 00:01:12,035 No, it... it was weird because I... 37 00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:13,223 liked it. 38 00:01:13,311 --> 00:01:15,512 Seriously? Because I proposed, like, six times. 39 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:16,647 I know. I just... 40 00:01:16,735 --> 00:01:18,574 It seemed so old-fashioned at the time, 41 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:21,429 but... when I thought that the babies were coming, 42 00:01:21,517 --> 00:01:22,629 I-I... 43 00:01:23,168 --> 00:01:25,160 Are you saying what I think you're saying? 44 00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:30,316 I'm gonna need a little help here. 45 00:01:30,638 --> 00:01:31,752 Okay. 46 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:33,301 Okay, we're good. 47 00:01:33,389 --> 00:01:37,473 Dylan Stardust Marshall, will you... 48 00:01:37,561 --> 00:01:39,137 Oh! Going over. Okay. Okay. 49 00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:40,527 I'm fine. I'm fine. It's okay. 50 00:01:41,888 --> 00:01:43,152 Will you marry me? 51 00:01:43,276 --> 00:01:44,290 Oh, my God. 52 00:01:44,378 --> 00:01:46,488 This is exactly how I imagined it. 53 00:01:46,576 --> 00:01:48,113 Captions by VITAC... 54 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,199 Sync corrections by srjanapala 55 00:01:55,307 --> 00:01:56,934 *MODERN FAMILY* Season 10 Episode 20 56 00:01:57,022 --> 00:01:58,559 *MODERN FAMILY* Episode Title: "Can't Elope" 57 00:01:59,903 --> 00:02:01,035 I can't get in! 58 00:02:01,098 --> 00:02:02,572 Damn it, Cam! We need those tickets! 59 00:02:02,660 --> 00:02:03,980 - Come on, refresh. - I am! 60 00:02:04,068 --> 00:02:06,254 - Refresh like your life depends on it! - I am! 61 00:02:06,342 --> 00:02:08,017 Tonight is the L.A. premiere 62 00:02:08,105 --> 00:02:10,275 of "Sophie's Choice: The Musical." 63 00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:12,057 And it sold out in seconds, 64 00:02:12,145 --> 00:02:14,908 but the theater reserved a few amazing house seats 65 00:02:14,996 --> 00:02:15,986 for an online lottery. 66 00:02:16,074 --> 00:02:17,472 And there's a rumor. Meryl Streep is 67 00:02:17,559 --> 00:02:19,035 going to be in the audience. 68 00:02:19,124 --> 00:02:20,450 - Oh, my God. - You have to feel for that 69 00:02:20,537 --> 00:02:21,965 poor actress playing Sophie. 70 00:02:22,053 --> 00:02:24,602 It'd be like me sewing costumes in front of Bob Mackie. 71 00:02:24,690 --> 00:02:27,418 And the award for the gayest thing ever said goes to... 72 00:02:28,294 --> 00:02:29,322 - I'm in! - You are?! 73 00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:30,301 We have seats! Oh, my God! 74 00:02:30,389 --> 00:02:31,068 Oh, oh! 75 00:02:31,156 --> 00:02:32,578 - Focus, focus. - Okay, all right. 76 00:02:32,666 --> 00:02:34,214 Okay, it's one of those ticking clock things. 77 00:02:34,301 --> 00:02:36,277 That's fine. We just need my... credit card. 78 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:37,942 Where's my wallet? Where... Where's my wall... 79 00:02:38,029 --> 00:02:39,534 - Where's my wallet?! - Seriously? Again? 80 00:02:39,621 --> 00:02:41,036 Cam, you have to leave it in one place! 81 00:02:41,123 --> 00:02:42,182 I told you a thousand times! 82 00:02:42,269 --> 00:02:43,401 Really? Now? 83 00:02:43,489 --> 00:02:45,191 Okay, just use your credit card. 84 00:02:45,279 --> 00:02:46,326 That's weird. 85 00:02:46,414 --> 00:02:48,785 Okay. I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna be sick! 86 00:02:48,882 --> 00:02:51,230 - Here... use mine. - Oh! Thank you, sweetie. 87 00:02:51,318 --> 00:02:52,566 Okay. Okay. All right. 88 00:02:54,487 --> 00:02:55,324 Is this a sign? 89 00:02:55,412 --> 00:02:56,767 Yes! We are meant to see the show! 90 00:02:56,855 --> 00:02:58,271 No, it's one of those CAPTCHA things. 91 00:02:58,358 --> 00:02:59,238 Is that a road sign?! 92 00:02:59,325 --> 00:03:00,457 - Yes! - I don't know. 93 00:03:00,545 --> 00:03:01,608 Yes. 94 00:03:01,695 --> 00:03:02,776 Oh! Ohh! Aah! 95 00:03:02,863 --> 00:03:04,410 Oh, my God! 96 00:03:04,497 --> 00:03:06,556 Oh, thank you, sweetie. You saved us. 97 00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:08,142 It's fine. I needed the miles. 98 00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:09,238 Thank you. 99 00:03:09,449 --> 00:03:10,584 Where's she off to? 100 00:03:10,671 --> 00:03:12,144 - I'm sure it's fine. - Okay. 101 00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:15,855 How about this one? 102 00:03:15,943 --> 00:03:17,175 You look gorgeous. 103 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,204 Now, remember... 104 00:03:18,292 --> 00:03:19,749 Okay, this is not my first time 105 00:03:19,837 --> 00:03:21,468 impressing your business associates. 106 00:03:21,556 --> 00:03:22,628 I know the drill. 107 00:03:22,716 --> 00:03:24,865 Laugh at their jokes, touch their arms... 108 00:03:24,953 --> 00:03:26,229 Yeah, and if he pees on the floor, 109 00:03:26,316 --> 00:03:27,330 don't make a big deal out of it. 110 00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:28,597 What is happening? 111 00:03:28,714 --> 00:03:30,283 I quit the closet game 112 00:03:30,371 --> 00:03:33,574 to become the king of high-end, whimsical dog beds. 113 00:03:33,662 --> 00:03:36,066 And to market them today, I'm hosting 114 00:03:36,154 --> 00:03:38,903 social-media influencer Arthur Goodboy. 115 00:03:39,032 --> 00:03:40,146 This little stud 116 00:03:40,233 --> 00:03:43,349 has over 5 million followers on the Instagram. 117 00:03:43,436 --> 00:03:46,410 One photo of him with a product can be a game-changer. 118 00:03:46,498 --> 00:03:49,480 You made me change three times for a dog? 119 00:03:49,568 --> 00:03:51,058 He cannot even see this color! 120 00:03:51,146 --> 00:03:52,753 They can sense the effort! 121 00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:58,508 Welcome! Welcome. I'm Jay Pritchett. 122 00:03:58,658 --> 00:04:00,606 Hello. This is my wife, Gloria. 123 00:04:00,787 --> 00:04:01,701 Hello. 124 00:04:01,788 --> 00:04:03,144 Orson Funt. 125 00:04:03,232 --> 00:04:05,214 I'm sure everyone knows Arthur Goodboy. 126 00:04:05,302 --> 00:04:08,136 Who doesn't? And I must admit, I'm a little starstruck. 127 00:04:08,224 --> 00:04:09,144 Don't be. 128 00:04:09,232 --> 00:04:11,501 He puts on his sweaters one leg at a time. 129 00:04:12,422 --> 00:04:15,423 And this is Stella of Dog Beds by Stella, 130 00:04:15,568 --> 00:04:17,274 but I do most of the design. 131 00:04:18,347 --> 00:04:20,546 Well. She is beautiful for a non-pro. 132 00:04:20,634 --> 00:04:21,187 May I? 133 00:04:21,274 --> 00:04:22,656 - Here you go. - Yes. 134 00:04:22,743 --> 00:04:23,657 - May I? - Oh, yeah. 135 00:04:23,744 --> 00:04:24,876 - Thank you. - Oh, yes. 136 00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:27,045 Present! Present. 137 00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:28,149 Who's a lovely lady? 138 00:04:28,237 --> 00:04:29,683 Who's a lovely lady? 139 00:04:29,771 --> 00:04:31,819 Who's an elegant boy? Who's an influencer? 140 00:04:31,924 --> 00:04:33,690 Ooh, you are! You are! 141 00:04:33,778 --> 00:04:35,493 Who's an influencer? You are! 142 00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,654 You want to see the dog beds? 143 00:04:37,742 --> 00:04:39,076 Yes. Follow me. 144 00:04:40,295 --> 00:04:41,643 He's a good father. 145 00:04:41,731 --> 00:04:43,010 He's a good father. 146 00:04:48,614 --> 00:04:49,911 Sir... 147 00:04:50,502 --> 00:04:52,107 a dog in a pineapple? 148 00:04:52,388 --> 00:04:53,489 Love! 149 00:04:53,651 --> 00:04:55,871 I call that one "Puppy Colada." 150 00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:58,112 - Stop! - Yes, stop. 151 00:04:58,526 --> 00:05:00,474 So, what do you say? Are we in business? 152 00:05:00,539 --> 00:05:01,539 Oh! 153 00:05:01,784 --> 00:05:02,740 Oh, down boy. 154 00:05:02,828 --> 00:05:04,241 I like to make sure that Arthur Goodboy 155 00:05:04,328 --> 00:05:06,743 really loves the product before we do any endorsements. 156 00:05:06,831 --> 00:05:07,881 If we said yes to everything, 157 00:05:07,968 --> 00:05:09,865 then we're no better than that whore Grumpy Cat. 158 00:05:09,953 --> 00:05:11,355 Here, try this one. 159 00:05:11,473 --> 00:05:13,246 Okay, Mr. Arthur Goodboy. 160 00:05:13,334 --> 00:05:15,578 Why don't you just trot yourself right in there 161 00:05:15,666 --> 00:05:17,051 and take a load off? 162 00:05:17,285 --> 00:05:18,410 Hm. 163 00:05:18,498 --> 00:05:21,191 You know, he just woke up from a nap, so... 164 00:05:21,375 --> 00:05:23,895 he will probably tucker out in a couple of hours. 165 00:05:24,010 --> 00:05:25,958 It's cool, 'cause I have nowhere I need to be. 166 00:05:26,046 --> 00:05:27,324 You don't say. 167 00:05:27,412 --> 00:05:28,801 Oh, it's spacious. 168 00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:31,828 Haley? 169 00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:33,121 Over here! 170 00:05:33,885 --> 00:05:35,198 Mom's not with you, right? 171 00:05:35,286 --> 00:05:36,801 No. What's going on? 172 00:05:36,889 --> 00:05:38,071 What could you have possibly done 173 00:05:38,158 --> 00:05:39,177 that's worse than getting pregnant? 174 00:05:39,264 --> 00:05:40,723 Well, Dylan and I are eloping, 175 00:05:40,811 --> 00:05:42,426 and we want you to be the witness. 176 00:05:43,363 --> 00:05:44,746 Oh, my God! Yes! 177 00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:47,699 Oh, I can't even tell you how special this makes me feel. 178 00:05:47,787 --> 00:05:49,105 I will not tell anyone. I... 179 00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:51,114 Wait. Why eloping? Why not a wedding? 180 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:52,840 We just want it to be simple and quick. 181 00:05:52,928 --> 00:05:54,020 And no drama. 182 00:05:54,108 --> 00:05:55,758 - Guess that eliminates Mom. - Yeah. 183 00:05:55,846 --> 00:05:57,004 What eliminates Mom? 184 00:05:57,128 --> 00:05:58,551 Oh, um... 185 00:05:58,639 --> 00:06:00,730 You know, uh... You know, it... It's so funny when... 186 00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:03,152 When people do such, um, funny... 187 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:04,855 You know, the story is so short, 188 00:06:04,943 --> 00:06:06,429 - but it... it... it would be so long... - Enough, enough. 189 00:06:06,516 --> 00:06:07,772 I cannot watch this. 190 00:06:07,912 --> 00:06:10,113 Aw. I felt like she was building to something. 191 00:06:10,247 --> 00:06:13,855 Dylan and I are going to the courthouse to get married. 192 00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:16,433 Wow. 193 00:06:16,521 --> 00:06:18,027 It's nothing personal, you know? 194 00:06:18,115 --> 00:06:20,293 It's just... right now, the last thing we want 195 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,332 is it to turn into a big production. 196 00:06:22,436 --> 00:06:25,252 Well, honey, if that's what you want, 197 00:06:25,340 --> 00:06:28,098 as your mother, obviously, it's incredibly painful, 198 00:06:28,186 --> 00:06:30,020 but that... that's none of your concern. 199 00:06:30,108 --> 00:06:33,020 I just hope you have a wedding that's every bit 200 00:06:33,108 --> 00:06:36,191 as wonderful and beautiful as I always imagined. 201 00:06:36,335 --> 00:06:38,771 You know... when I was gonna be part of it. 202 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:41,512 I knew she'd be cool. 203 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:42,809 Yeah! Let's roll. 204 00:06:42,897 --> 00:06:44,379 Mom seemed pretty bummed about it, 205 00:06:44,467 --> 00:06:45,630 but, you know, this is what we want. 206 00:06:45,717 --> 00:06:46,717 Totally! 207 00:06:47,613 --> 00:06:48,914 Damn it! 208 00:06:50,676 --> 00:06:53,545 How could you do this to your mother? 209 00:06:55,159 --> 00:06:57,371 Ugh. What's taking them so long? 210 00:06:57,474 --> 00:06:59,411 I know. It's, like, this wedding isn't about them. 211 00:06:59,498 --> 00:07:01,127 It's about you and Dylan and me! 212 00:07:01,215 --> 00:07:02,299 Coming! 213 00:07:02,387 --> 00:07:03,387 So sorry. 214 00:07:03,475 --> 00:07:04,622 And don't worry, Haley. 215 00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:08,348 I promise you will hardly know we are there at all. 216 00:07:08,436 --> 00:07:09,965 What? You're dressed nicer than me. 217 00:07:10,053 --> 00:07:11,689 Well, I wasn't gonna say anything, but are you sure 218 00:07:11,776 --> 00:07:13,425 that's the outfit you want for your special day? 219 00:07:13,512 --> 00:07:15,973 It's Haley's wedding. She can dress as bad as she wants. 220 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:16,895 Right. 221 00:07:16,983 --> 00:07:17,988 Who died? 222 00:07:18,102 --> 00:07:19,559 Haley and Dylan are getting married. 223 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:20,754 Dressed like that? 224 00:07:20,842 --> 00:07:22,223 Now I have to invite Luke? 225 00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:23,425 Not if you don't want to. 226 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:24,613 This feels great. 227 00:07:24,701 --> 00:07:27,284 Okay, that is it. Luke, but no one else. 228 00:07:27,422 --> 00:07:29,504 Hey, so, my mom found out your parents are coming, 229 00:07:29,619 --> 00:07:31,465 'cause I told her, and now she's on her way. 230 00:07:31,553 --> 00:07:32,629 And Grandpa's coming. 231 00:07:32,717 --> 00:07:33,980 You guys are gonna love him. 232 00:07:34,068 --> 00:07:35,949 Oh, but if he asks you to kill him, don't. 233 00:07:36,037 --> 00:07:37,676 - Ugh! - I know what you're thinking. 234 00:07:37,764 --> 00:07:38,996 That is a lot of people 235 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,254 for a small, impersonal room at the courthouse, 236 00:07:41,342 --> 00:07:43,992 and we are on the same page. 237 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,428 So... why don't we just do it here? 238 00:07:46,516 --> 00:07:48,623 I'm ordained. I can perform the ceremony. 239 00:07:48,711 --> 00:07:50,474 That is such a great idea! 240 00:07:50,562 --> 00:07:52,334 That way, it's easy and intimate. 241 00:07:52,422 --> 00:07:54,021 I mean, that's what you wanted, right? 242 00:07:54,109 --> 00:07:55,521 So, go down to the courthouse, 243 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,590 get your marriage license, come back here, 244 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,060 and we'll all be waiting. 245 00:07:59,733 --> 00:08:01,224 Fine. But let's go now. 246 00:08:01,312 --> 00:08:02,944 I'm starving, and they make a great soft pretzel 247 00:08:03,031 --> 00:08:04,038 at the courthouse snack shop. 248 00:08:04,125 --> 00:08:05,289 How do you know that? 249 00:08:05,377 --> 00:08:06,592 I can still elope. 250 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:07,728 Don't you ruin this for me. 251 00:08:07,815 --> 00:08:09,146 It's fine. It's fine. 252 00:08:10,662 --> 00:08:11,676 Wait. 253 00:08:12,396 --> 00:08:13,708 If Dylan's bringing his grandfather, 254 00:08:13,795 --> 00:08:15,723 that means we have to invite Dad and Gloria, right? 255 00:08:15,810 --> 00:08:16,749 I think so, yeah. 256 00:08:16,836 --> 00:08:18,973 But he probably won't show. Jay hates last-minute plans. 257 00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:20,520 He'll be like, "Oh, geez, why don't they just elope?" 258 00:08:20,607 --> 00:08:21,509 Hm. 259 00:08:21,612 --> 00:08:22,881 Grandpa? 260 00:08:25,318 --> 00:08:27,238 Who's a goody-woody boy? 261 00:08:27,326 --> 00:08:29,028 Who's a sleepy boy? 262 00:08:29,115 --> 00:08:30,596 I never thought I'd say this, 263 00:08:30,683 --> 00:08:32,943 but I miss Jay's toxic masculinity. 264 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,279 At least he's not your real father. 265 00:08:35,367 --> 00:08:37,403 I'll get it! I got it! I'll get it! 266 00:08:39,297 --> 00:08:40,711 - Hello? - Hey, Gloria. 267 00:08:40,799 --> 00:08:43,391 Haley and Dylan decided to get married this afternoon, 268 00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,728 and I know Dad's got that dog-bed thing, 269 00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:48,032 so absolutely no pressure. 270 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,255 Yes. We will be there as soon as we can. 271 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,813 Jay, I am so sorry to break up 272 00:08:52,901 --> 00:08:55,483 this really fun and super normal party, 273 00:08:55,584 --> 00:08:59,105 but Dylan and Haley decided to get married right now, 274 00:08:59,193 --> 00:09:00,711 and Claire wants us there. 275 00:09:00,799 --> 00:09:02,714 Oh, geez, why don't they just elope? 276 00:09:02,802 --> 00:09:05,641 Actually, Arthur Goodboy loves weddings, 277 00:09:05,729 --> 00:09:08,290 and his followers have been dying to see him in his new tux. 278 00:09:08,378 --> 00:09:10,426 I-I can bring a bed in case he gets tired. 279 00:09:10,514 --> 00:09:11,514 Ooh! 280 00:09:13,057 --> 00:09:15,079 Ooh, look. Somebody's got a crush. 281 00:09:15,197 --> 00:09:17,165 Would Miss Stella do us the honor 282 00:09:17,253 --> 00:09:19,391 of escorting Arthur Goodboy to the wedding?! 283 00:09:19,479 --> 00:09:22,181 Gosh, yes! A thousand times yes! 284 00:09:25,549 --> 00:09:27,028 Well. You're not gonna believe this. 285 00:09:27,116 --> 00:09:27,932 They're coming. 286 00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:29,069 Well, if they're coming, does that mean 287 00:09:29,163 --> 00:09:30,415 we need to invite Mitch and Cam? 288 00:09:30,541 --> 00:09:32,688 Ooh. Imagine the drama if we didn't. 289 00:09:32,791 --> 00:09:34,028 ♪ Who should I choose? ♪ 290 00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,483 ♪ Either way, I lose ♪ 291 00:09:35,571 --> 00:09:36,848 ♪ I stare at the gun ♪ 292 00:09:36,936 --> 00:09:38,881 ♪ Is it daughter, is it son? ♪ 293 00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:39,876 ♪ Choices ♪ 294 00:09:39,964 --> 00:09:41,045 - ♪ Impossible choices ♪ - ♪ Choices ♪ 295 00:09:41,132 --> 00:09:42,479 - ♪ Impossible choices ♪ - ♪ Impossible ♪ 296 00:09:42,566 --> 00:09:43,665 - ♪ Choices ♪ - ♪ Choices ♪ 297 00:09:43,753 --> 00:09:45,547 This is why I can't have friends over. 298 00:09:45,635 --> 00:09:46,408 Okay. 299 00:09:46,496 --> 00:09:47,443 Somebody just snarked her way 300 00:09:47,510 --> 00:09:48,645 out of a "Sophie's Choice" hoodie! 301 00:09:48,732 --> 00:09:49,790 That's right. 302 00:09:50,915 --> 00:09:52,225 Hey, Claire. What's up? 303 00:09:52,313 --> 00:09:54,695 So, Haley and Dylan decided to get married, 304 00:09:54,783 --> 00:09:56,566 and they'd be devastated if you weren't there. 305 00:09:56,653 --> 00:09:58,369 Oh, of course! We wouldn't miss it for the world! 306 00:09:58,456 --> 00:09:59,436 Just tell us when. 307 00:09:59,538 --> 00:10:00,756 In about an hour. 308 00:10:00,844 --> 00:10:02,493 Oh, my... Um... Hey, uh, let... 309 00:10:02,581 --> 00:10:04,329 Let me call you right back, okay? 310 00:10:04,417 --> 00:10:05,598 Are you kidding me?! 311 00:10:05,686 --> 00:10:07,382 I know! What do we do... A musical or the wedding? 312 00:10:07,469 --> 00:10:08,475 It's the cruelest decision 313 00:10:08,563 --> 00:10:10,225 anyone's ever been forced to make. 314 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:15,184 - Hello? We are here! - Knock! Knock! 315 00:10:15,272 --> 00:10:16,123 Hi. 316 00:10:16,211 --> 00:10:17,309 Hi! Wow! 317 00:10:17,430 --> 00:10:18,644 What is all this? 318 00:10:18,732 --> 00:10:19,553 Hey, Claire. 319 00:10:19,641 --> 00:10:20,717 This is Orson 320 00:10:20,805 --> 00:10:23,342 and, of course, Arthur Goodboy. 321 00:10:23,474 --> 00:10:25,100 Thanks for having us. We love love. 322 00:10:25,188 --> 00:10:26,136 Mm-hmm. 323 00:10:26,224 --> 00:10:27,606 Dad, can you come over here a second? 324 00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,141 Um... Hey, Stella. 325 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,238 So, listen, I don't think Haley 326 00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:33,733 wants to come back to a house full of strangers and dogs. 327 00:10:33,821 --> 00:10:34,929 Claire, I've got to have this, 328 00:10:35,016 --> 00:10:36,776 and she's never gonna know they're even here. 329 00:10:38,321 --> 00:10:39,670 Okay, that's bad timing. 330 00:10:39,758 --> 00:10:41,320 Okay, okay, let's... Let's go, let's go, let's go. 331 00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:42,428 Let's go. Let's get it going. 332 00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:44,120 What's your hurry? I thought you... 333 00:10:44,488 --> 00:10:45,602 guys love weddings. 334 00:10:45,690 --> 00:10:47,440 You were gonna say "you people," weren't you? 335 00:10:47,527 --> 00:10:48,264 Prove it. 336 00:10:48,352 --> 00:10:49,444 We have theater tickets, 337 00:10:49,532 --> 00:10:50,726 and if we get this wedding started, 338 00:10:50,813 --> 00:10:52,637 we can still make curtain for "Sophie's Choice." 339 00:10:52,725 --> 00:10:54,249 I would murder my entire family 340 00:10:54,337 --> 00:10:55,747 and all of their friends to see that musical. 341 00:10:55,835 --> 00:10:57,084 This guy gets it. 342 00:10:57,172 --> 00:10:59,459 Hey-oh! Look who's here! 343 00:10:59,547 --> 00:11:01,670 Don't worry. I'm wearing pants. 344 00:11:01,975 --> 00:11:03,428 As far as you know. 345 00:11:03,516 --> 00:11:05,198 Oh, well, hello, Frank. 346 00:11:05,286 --> 00:11:07,491 And thank you for... sort of making it. 347 00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,530 Really? Well, you invited your dad. 348 00:11:09,618 --> 00:11:11,873 What was I supposed to do? I don't know. 349 00:11:11,961 --> 00:11:13,311 Hey! Is that Arthur Goodboy? 350 00:11:13,402 --> 00:11:14,498 Big fan! 351 00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:16,217 Been waiting to see him in his tux. 352 00:11:16,429 --> 00:11:17,845 - Hi, Frank... - Farrah. 353 00:11:17,933 --> 00:11:19,712 - Phil. - It is so delightful to see... 354 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,234 Mm. Okay. 355 00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:24,031 Oh. Gosh. 356 00:11:24,119 --> 00:11:25,568 Can you believe our babies are getting married? 357 00:11:25,655 --> 00:11:26,556 I can. 358 00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,970 I saw it in a vision at a campfire in Peru. 359 00:11:29,058 --> 00:11:30,681 This is my father, Bert. 360 00:11:30,769 --> 00:11:31,850 Oh, it's such an honor to... 361 00:11:31,938 --> 00:11:33,665 - Vodka! - Oh. 362 00:11:35,197 --> 00:11:36,311 What a lovely dress. 363 00:11:36,398 --> 00:11:38,288 It's actually a shamanic wedding robe 364 00:11:38,376 --> 00:11:39,398 from South America. 365 00:11:39,486 --> 00:11:41,890 I wear it at every ceremony I officiate. 366 00:11:41,978 --> 00:11:43,437 Ohhh. This is awkward. 367 00:11:43,525 --> 00:11:44,696 Um... 368 00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:46,288 I'm doing the ceremony. 369 00:11:46,375 --> 00:11:49,001 But this is something I've dreamed about all of my lives. 370 00:11:49,096 --> 00:11:50,877 Mom, what the hell is going on? 371 00:11:51,042 --> 00:11:52,319 - Hey!- - Hey! 372 00:11:53,936 --> 00:11:56,075 Oh, honey, honey, it's not as bad as it looks. 373 00:11:56,163 --> 00:11:59,264 See, it's still small and simple and... 374 00:11:59,906 --> 00:12:00,987 Not helping. 375 00:12:01,075 --> 00:12:03,385 What? We were gonna play her down the aisle. 376 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,721 Yeah. Bad luck to get married without bagpipes. 377 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:08,124 My mom's first wedding... No bagpipes. 378 00:12:08,255 --> 00:12:10,823 My mom's second wedding... Bagpipes. 379 00:12:10,911 --> 00:12:13,318 Six months later, she's still married. 380 00:12:13,406 --> 00:12:14,820 I mean, that's just science. 381 00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:15,877 Now what? 382 00:12:15,965 --> 00:12:17,885 Oh, well, we needed food, so... 383 00:12:17,973 --> 00:12:19,182 Hola, lovebirds. 384 00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:20,685 Oh, this is a disaster. 385 00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:23,799 I know, but we can't pick our childhood homes. 386 00:12:23,887 --> 00:12:25,534 Don't worry. I can fix everything. 387 00:12:25,622 --> 00:12:27,534 Just take your time changing your clothes. 388 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:28,536 Oh, this is what I'm wearing. 389 00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:30,151 You're hilarious. 390 00:12:31,099 --> 00:12:33,881 Let me see the happy couple. 391 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,237 Congratulations, Haley. 392 00:12:36,325 --> 00:12:38,991 Congratulations, Andy. 393 00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,602 Excuse me. Pardon me. Coming through. 394 00:12:45,690 --> 00:12:48,127 Sorry. Honey, I know you're a little annoyed. 395 00:12:48,215 --> 00:12:50,118 Oh, I'm so sorry I gave you that impression. 396 00:12:50,206 --> 00:12:51,401 I'm a lot annoyed. 397 00:12:51,489 --> 00:12:52,588 But it's better. 398 00:12:52,676 --> 00:12:55,885 This way, you'll be surrounded by people who love you. 399 00:12:55,973 --> 00:12:57,055 That's her. 400 00:12:57,143 --> 00:13:00,440 Congratulations! I am so happy for you. 401 00:13:00,528 --> 00:13:01,299 Luke? 402 00:13:01,387 --> 00:13:02,206 Uh, this is Annabelle. 403 00:13:02,294 --> 00:13:03,275 We just met on Tinder. 404 00:13:03,363 --> 00:13:04,961 But we haven't done anything yet. 405 00:13:05,049 --> 00:13:06,120 Guess what, babies. 406 00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:07,490 You're gonna taste some wine today! 407 00:13:07,577 --> 00:13:08,604 Hey, hey, hey. 408 00:13:08,692 --> 00:13:09,848 So, if we're gonna get this thing started, 409 00:13:09,936 --> 00:13:11,162 maybe you should go up and change, huh? 410 00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:12,996 Oh, for the last time, this is what I'm... 411 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:13,932 Screw it. I'm changing. 412 00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:15,294 - No, don't... I'm... - No, don't change, if that's... 413 00:13:15,382 --> 00:13:16,535 - Damn it! What... - Sorry. I'm sorry. 414 00:13:16,622 --> 00:13:18,059 Gloria, Gloria. 415 00:13:18,302 --> 00:13:19,416 Do me a favor. 416 00:13:19,504 --> 00:13:21,299 Put some salami in my TV. 417 00:13:21,387 --> 00:13:23,505 Whatever that is a code for, the answer is no. 418 00:13:23,593 --> 00:13:24,880 Okay, fine. I'll do it myself. 419 00:13:24,968 --> 00:13:27,198 Keep Orson occupied for about a minute. 420 00:13:27,286 --> 00:13:28,651 Arthur Goodboy, come. 421 00:13:28,739 --> 00:13:30,127 Arthur Goodboy, come. 422 00:13:30,263 --> 00:13:31,844 Mr. Orson. 423 00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:36,627 Um, I need to know... Is your whole life your dog? 424 00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:38,880 Oh, no. I also dabble in stand-up comedy. 425 00:13:38,968 --> 00:13:41,676 In fact, I used to try out all of my material on Arthur Goodboy 426 00:13:41,764 --> 00:13:43,967 until I got in trouble with PETA for animal testing. 427 00:13:45,312 --> 00:13:46,394 Ay! 428 00:13:46,482 --> 00:13:47,597 Speaking of, where is Arthur? 429 00:13:47,684 --> 00:13:48,886 I'm sure he's fine. 430 00:13:48,974 --> 00:13:50,323 Arthur? Arthur? 431 00:13:50,411 --> 00:13:53,239 He's in the family room, wolfing down some cold cuts. 432 00:13:53,327 --> 00:13:54,802 No, no, no. He can't digest that. 433 00:13:55,028 --> 00:13:56,242 And that tuxedo is rented. 434 00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:58,499 No, please! Wait! 435 00:14:00,192 --> 00:14:01,695 Aah! Stop! 436 00:14:01,783 --> 00:14:02,570 Stop? What, no! 437 00:14:02,666 --> 00:14:04,816 He's enjoying the bed. No, he loves it in there. 438 00:14:04,963 --> 00:14:05,984 Don't. 439 00:14:06,072 --> 00:14:07,000 The robot told me everything. 440 00:14:07,088 --> 00:14:08,131 Oh, I'm sorry, but I thought 441 00:14:08,218 --> 00:14:09,312 - once he got... - - Stop! Unh! 442 00:14:09,399 --> 00:14:10,617 I will stay for the wedding 443 00:14:10,705 --> 00:14:13,195 so as not to ruin Halsey and Derek's special day, 444 00:14:13,347 --> 00:14:15,483 but this partnership is off. 445 00:14:17,654 --> 00:14:18,734 What am I doing? 446 00:14:18,822 --> 00:14:20,297 Making a fool of yourself... 447 00:14:20,385 --> 00:14:22,461 What you have done the whole day. 448 00:14:22,549 --> 00:14:24,297 Yeah. I'm acting like an idiot. 449 00:14:24,788 --> 00:14:26,257 I mean, this was a stupid idea, 450 00:14:26,345 --> 00:14:28,527 trying to launch a whole new business at my age. 451 00:14:28,615 --> 00:14:29,890 I thought it would be fun, 452 00:14:29,978 --> 00:14:32,187 but I should've known I-I need to hang it up. 453 00:14:32,976 --> 00:14:34,336 I need a second. 454 00:14:35,617 --> 00:14:37,951 Dog beds are ridiculous and sad. 455 00:14:38,039 --> 00:14:39,632 But they're important to Jay. 456 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,636 So I guess that loving someone means that you have to respect 457 00:14:42,724 --> 00:14:45,491 their idiotic, nauseating dreams. 458 00:14:45,694 --> 00:14:47,178 Hey, old-timer. 459 00:14:47,266 --> 00:14:48,581 I dig those wheels. 460 00:14:48,669 --> 00:14:51,852 Why is this vacuum cleaner talking to me?! 461 00:14:51,940 --> 00:14:53,585 Okay, we are definitely cutting it close, 462 00:14:53,673 --> 00:14:54,788 but I think we're gonna make it. 463 00:14:54,875 --> 00:14:56,531 You know, it's just that, uh, traditionally, 464 00:14:56,618 --> 00:14:58,267 the father of the bride calls the shots at these things. 465 00:14:58,354 --> 00:14:59,947 Oh, my goddess, Phil. 466 00:15:00,035 --> 00:15:02,651 By all means, let's return to traditional weddings. 467 00:15:02,807 --> 00:15:05,306 Perhaps you'd like to discuss the matter of Haley's dowry. 468 00:15:05,394 --> 00:15:07,424 Are you prepared to offer livestock or land? 469 00:15:07,512 --> 00:15:08,994 Farrah, I would defer to you 470 00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,630 if this were happening in your yurt. 471 00:15:10,718 --> 00:15:11,861 Fine. 472 00:15:11,949 --> 00:15:14,566 We'll settle this over a game of acorns. 473 00:15:15,159 --> 00:15:16,784 Put out your hands. 474 00:15:16,991 --> 00:15:19,050 Acorns, speak. 475 00:15:20,033 --> 00:15:21,980 Oh. Sorry, Phil. 476 00:15:22,068 --> 00:15:23,324 Best of 3. What am I doing? 477 00:15:23,412 --> 00:15:25,253 Okay, both of you, stop! 478 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,816 You can both officiate, all right? 479 00:15:26,904 --> 00:15:28,819 Yeah, but won't that take twice as long? 480 00:15:28,907 --> 00:15:30,817 Uh, whoever's officiating, if you can carve out some time 481 00:15:30,904 --> 00:15:32,495 for a poem I've written. 482 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,028 It's sort of a "Beowulf" meets "You've Got Mail." 483 00:15:34,115 --> 00:15:35,308 - Oh, God, no! No poems! - No! 484 00:15:35,396 --> 00:15:36,185 - Nobody wants a poem! - No one wants that! 485 00:15:36,273 --> 00:15:38,043 - Come on! Let's move this thing along! - Get it going! 486 00:15:38,130 --> 00:15:39,885 You need to give your "Sophie's Choice" ticket 487 00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,189 to the dog weirdo. 488 00:15:41,277 --> 00:15:42,976 My dad wants to see a musical? 489 00:15:43,063 --> 00:15:44,644 No, the other dog weirdo. 490 00:15:44,731 --> 00:15:47,380 Didn't you see how excited he got when he heard about it? 491 00:15:47,467 --> 00:15:49,149 Yeah, well, that's not happening. No, thank you. 492 00:15:49,236 --> 00:15:51,353 Think about all the sacrifices 493 00:15:51,441 --> 00:15:53,320 that your father has made for you. 494 00:15:53,407 --> 00:15:54,487 Oh, I just don't care. 495 00:15:54,574 --> 00:15:56,027 You're not gonna make it anyways. 496 00:15:56,115 --> 00:15:58,065 Y-Yes, we are, 'cause the wedding's about to start. 497 00:15:58,152 --> 00:15:59,269 - Here they come. - Is it? 498 00:15:59,357 --> 00:16:00,605 Excuse me. 499 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:04,089 Um, before we start this beautiful ceremony, 500 00:16:04,177 --> 00:16:05,980 why don't we go around the room 501 00:16:06,075 --> 00:16:08,972 and talk about what this wedding means 502 00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:10,207 - to us? - Yeah, I don't think anybody 503 00:16:10,294 --> 00:16:11,152 - wants to be put on the spot. - No. 504 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,199 Let's just get on with the wedding. 505 00:16:12,287 --> 00:16:15,137 To me, a marriage is not just the joining of two hearts. 506 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,019 It's the melding of families. 507 00:16:17,107 --> 00:16:18,386 And can I just say this... 508 00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:19,845 - No! Sit down! - No! Sit down! 509 00:16:22,787 --> 00:16:23,956 Hey. 510 00:16:24,411 --> 00:16:26,706 Go on, go on. There you go. 511 00:16:26,824 --> 00:16:29,027 Are those... packing peanuts? 512 00:16:29,115 --> 00:16:30,830 I had 10 minutes and no budget. 513 00:16:30,918 --> 00:16:32,605 - This is happening. - Yep. 514 00:16:33,277 --> 00:16:35,191 What's this dog doing to Stella? 515 00:16:35,279 --> 00:16:36,581 Bad dog! No humping! 516 00:16:36,669 --> 00:16:38,191 Don't shame him! That's her fault. 517 00:16:38,279 --> 00:16:39,489 She's wagging her hips in his face! 518 00:16:39,576 --> 00:16:40,636 That's her dysplasia. 519 00:16:40,724 --> 00:16:41,878 And it's 2019. 520 00:16:41,966 --> 00:16:43,100 What he did is not okay! 521 00:16:43,188 --> 00:16:44,855 Uh-oh. Am I moving? 522 00:16:44,943 --> 00:16:46,444 Something's stuck! 523 00:16:48,097 --> 00:16:50,177 - Phil, I'm falling! - See, this... this... 524 00:16:50,265 --> 00:16:51,771 This is why I didn't want anyone here! 525 00:16:51,859 --> 00:16:53,630 This is why I wanted to elope! 526 00:16:53,718 --> 00:16:56,661 Haley, I know you're upset, but this is your family. 527 00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:57,732 Who are you?! 528 00:16:57,820 --> 00:16:59,201 Okay, enough! Enough. 529 00:16:59,289 --> 00:17:00,990 Dylan, Haley, in the kitchen... now! 530 00:17:01,138 --> 00:17:01,988 Nice shoes! 531 00:17:02,076 --> 00:17:03,745 I am, uh, so sorry, folks. 532 00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:05,339 This is... This is gonna take a little while. 533 00:17:05,427 --> 00:17:07,199 Maybe Alex and Bill can play something. 534 00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:08,409 - No! No! - No! No! 535 00:17:08,497 --> 00:17:10,246 - We're not gonna make it, are we? - Okay, no. 536 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,239 - We're not gonna make it! - It... It doesn't look like it. 537 00:17:12,326 --> 00:17:13,706 Hey, um... 538 00:17:13,794 --> 00:17:16,154 Hi. My dad wanted you to have these tickets. 539 00:17:16,242 --> 00:17:18,042 Great Danes! Thank you! 540 00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:20,716 Not so fast. You still have something to do. 541 00:17:22,768 --> 00:17:23,917 Listen. Listen to me. 542 00:17:24,068 --> 00:17:25,451 I don't want to hear it, Mom. 543 00:17:26,162 --> 00:17:27,076 Run. 544 00:17:27,235 --> 00:17:28,597 - What?! - Yeah. 545 00:17:28,685 --> 00:17:30,980 We're really sorry that this all got away from us. 546 00:17:31,068 --> 00:17:34,050 But all we care about is that you're happy. 547 00:17:34,138 --> 00:17:36,820 And you should have the wedding you want. 548 00:17:37,482 --> 00:17:38,816 Your mom's right. 549 00:17:39,814 --> 00:17:41,374 We eloped, and I still think of it 550 00:17:41,462 --> 00:17:43,366 as one of the best days of my life. 551 00:17:43,481 --> 00:17:45,874 It still seems like the last day we were alone. 552 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:47,454 Wow. 553 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:48,729 That's... 554 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,292 Oh, honey. 555 00:17:50,380 --> 00:17:51,894 The four of you better get going, huh? 556 00:17:51,982 --> 00:17:53,063 Yeah. 557 00:17:53,284 --> 00:17:54,561 Ohh, my babies. 558 00:17:54,649 --> 00:17:56,178 - I love you, guys. - Love you, guys. 559 00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,162 Bye. Bye. 560 00:18:01,444 --> 00:18:02,663 You okay? 561 00:18:03,029 --> 00:18:04,389 Not really, no. 562 00:18:04,811 --> 00:18:06,600 I hate that we're not gonna be there. 563 00:18:06,782 --> 00:18:09,565 I always assumed we would be at her wedding. 564 00:18:09,702 --> 00:18:11,067 Is that selfish? 565 00:18:11,334 --> 00:18:12,334 No. 566 00:18:13,039 --> 00:18:14,540 It's only fair. 567 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:16,874 She was at ours. 568 00:18:16,967 --> 00:18:18,801 Mm. She was. 569 00:18:21,335 --> 00:18:22,428 Look at this. 570 00:18:22,516 --> 00:18:25,983 He posted one minute ago. It's already got 5,000 likes. 571 00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:26,985 Thank you. 572 00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:28,811 I love you. 573 00:18:29,029 --> 00:18:32,694 And the only thing less sexy than a dog bed is a quitter, 574 00:18:32,782 --> 00:18:34,163 and I didn't marry a quitter. 575 00:18:34,251 --> 00:18:35,233 I married an angel. 576 00:18:35,321 --> 00:18:36,668 Yes, you did! 577 00:18:36,756 --> 00:18:38,975 Could I have everyone's attention? Um... 578 00:18:39,063 --> 00:18:40,835 I just want to say that most of you 579 00:18:40,923 --> 00:18:42,337 are very important to us. 580 00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,174 But the wedding's off, and thanks for coming. 581 00:18:44,261 --> 00:18:45,484 - What?! - You got to be kidding me! 582 00:18:45,571 --> 00:18:47,538 - This is an outrage. - I will never forgive you. 583 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,463 Perhaps the two of you would like to sing a song? 584 00:18:49,550 --> 00:18:52,040 - ♪ Choices, impossible ♪ - ♪ Choices, Choices, impossible ♪ 585 00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:52,999 - ♪ Choices ♪ - ♪ Why are there so many ♪ 586 00:18:53,087 --> 00:18:54,569 - ♪ Voices ♪ - ♪ Voices ♪ 587 00:18:54,657 --> 00:18:57,457 - ♪ Choices and voices and voices ♪ - ♪ Choices and voices and voices ♪ 588 00:18:59,353 --> 00:19:01,135 Mom? Dad? 589 00:19:01,462 --> 00:19:02,751 Oh, honey. 590 00:19:02,839 --> 00:19:03,753 Hey. 591 00:19:03,841 --> 00:19:05,121 Hey. How did it go? 592 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:08,216 Uh, we... didn't go through with it. 593 00:19:08,304 --> 00:19:10,556 - What? We were at this 24-hour chapel, 594 00:19:10,644 --> 00:19:13,136 and they called our names, but... 595 00:19:13,224 --> 00:19:15,013 something about it just didn't feel right. 596 00:19:15,657 --> 00:19:17,743 Sweetheart, it's okay. 597 00:19:17,993 --> 00:19:19,806 You'll know when it's the right time. 598 00:19:19,894 --> 00:19:20,942 Mm-hmm. 599 00:19:21,030 --> 00:19:23,198 That's why I'm here. 600 00:19:23,605 --> 00:19:25,620 I thought about what you said 601 00:19:25,972 --> 00:19:27,985 about how I should have the wedding that I want. 602 00:19:28,073 --> 00:19:29,321 Mm-hmm. 603 00:19:29,409 --> 00:19:32,227 Well, the wedding that I want has you guys there. 604 00:19:38,012 --> 00:19:40,306 And, like the nuptial antler, 605 00:19:40,821 --> 00:19:43,165 your bond will never be broken. 606 00:19:44,604 --> 00:19:46,306 Take us home, Phil. 607 00:19:50,521 --> 00:19:55,298 And so, by the powers vested in me by NoPainOrdain.com, 608 00:19:55,725 --> 00:19:58,165 I pronounce you, Dylan... 609 00:19:58,253 --> 00:20:00,135 and you, Haley... 610 00:20:00,827 --> 00:20:03,796 husband... 611 00:20:04,472 --> 00:20:05,657 ...and wife. 612 00:20:07,438 --> 00:20:10,032 Hey! Kiss her already! 613 00:20:10,223 --> 00:20:12,125 Oh, my God. 614 00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:17,979 - You wanted to talk to me? - Yeah. Um... 615 00:20:18,067 --> 00:20:19,913 It's been bothering me the last few days 616 00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:22,047 that since they were gonna elope, Dylan never came to me 617 00:20:22,134 --> 00:20:23,282 and asked for Haley's hand in marriage. 618 00:20:23,369 --> 00:20:24,413 Yeah. 619 00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:25,621 Well, then it occurred to me that, 620 00:20:25,708 --> 00:20:27,062 since Claire and I eloped, 621 00:20:27,150 --> 00:20:30,718 I never officially asked you for her hand in marriage. 622 00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:32,077 - So, uh... - So ask me. 623 00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:33,753 Okay. 624 00:20:34,175 --> 00:20:35,429 Jay... 625 00:20:35,536 --> 00:20:37,452 I love your daughter very much, and I would like your... 626 00:20:37,539 --> 00:20:38,609 Nope. 627 00:20:39,978 --> 00:20:41,426 That's very funny. Um... 628 00:20:41,594 --> 00:20:43,809 But seriously, I would very much like your blessing... 629 00:20:43,897 --> 00:20:45,913 Sorry. I've got several concerns. 630 00:20:46,001 --> 00:20:46,882 I'm not on board. 631 00:20:46,977 --> 00:20:49,026 You realize this is just a-a formality. 632 00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:50,422 We've been married for almost 25 years. 633 00:20:50,509 --> 00:20:52,950 And the entire time, without my blessing. 634 00:20:53,857 --> 00:20:54,917 Okay, how many dog beds 635 00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:55,894 - is this gonna cost me? - Five. 636 00:20:55,989 --> 00:20:56,800 - Three. - Four. 637 00:20:56,888 --> 00:20:58,091 Done. Blessed! 44984

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