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1
00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:04,169
Ladies and gentlemen,
for the first time ever
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:07,940
Mr. And mrs. Marshall eriksen
3
00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:10,242
And lily aldrin.
4
00:00:14,614 --> 00:00:16,382
Does it make you kind of sad
5
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,617
That we don't share
the same last name?
6
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,786
You know, in a totally evolved
7
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:23,389
21st-century kind
of way, yeah, a little.
8
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,290
Oh, you know what we should do?
9
00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:28,060
We should come up with
a whole new last name.
10
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:31,730
Oh, that's easy... lily
and marshall skywalker.
11
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,299
Lily and marshall hasselhoff.
12
00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:36,735
I got it. You ready?
Mm-hmm.
13
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,037
You ready?
Yeah.
14
00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:39,738
Lily and marshall awesome.
15
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,974
Have you met the awesomes?
16
00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:43,742
Marshall, lily,
their son, totally
17
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:44,910
And their daughter, freakin'?
18
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:47,980
I love you, mr. Awesome.
19
00:00:47,982 --> 00:00:49,715
I love you, mrs. Awesome.
20
00:00:52,852 --> 00:00:54,186
So...
21
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,087
So...
22
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:56,522
Wedding's over.
23
00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,090
Yes, it is.
24
00:00:58,092 --> 00:00:59,525
I guess starting tomorrow,
25
00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:01,160
We can tell people.
26
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,895
Mm-hmm.
Tell people what?
27
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,696
Hi, barney.
28
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:07,066
The food looks
delicious, doesn't it?
29
00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:08,400
Tell people what?
30
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,234
Nothing.
31
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,236
Oh, okay.
Tell people what?
32
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:12,838
Can we talk about this later?
33
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,440
Absolutely.
Tell people what?
34
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,241
Hi. Have you met barney?
35
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,377
Hey. Barney stinson.
Lovely dress.
36
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:19,678
I know, I'm sick
of these things, too.
37
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,380
It's like the same wedding
over and over again.
38
00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:22,714
You're totally right.
You want to dance?
39
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:23,716
Great, see you out there.
40
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,184
Tell people what?
41
00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:26,552
Look, this is just not something
42
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,354
We want to talk about
right now, okay, barney?
43
00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:31,023
Oh, okay.
44
00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:33,225
Uh-huh.
Great.
45
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:34,927
Whoo, that was a close one.
46
00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:36,428
Think he'll actually let it go?
47
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,097
(barney over p.A.):
Tell people what?
48
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,431
Tell people what?
Tell people what?
49
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,365
Tell people what?
50
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,600
Tell people...
51
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,970
There's a black nissan stanza
in the parking lot
52
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,405
With it's lights on.
53
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,640
Tell people what?
Tell people what?
54
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,556
Can I get a water please?
55
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,091
Tell people what?
Oh, god!
56
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:09,561
Okay, look, we have
some... News.
57
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:11,130
Ted: But we don't want
to draw attention
58
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:13,432
Away from lily
and marshall's big day.
59
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:14,434
So just forget about it
60
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:15,667
Until they leave
for the honeymoon.
61
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,603
Fine.
62
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,638
It's pretty big, though.
63
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,107
Oh, my god, just tell me!
64
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:23,575
Oh, help us.
What's wrong?
65
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,177
We're starving.
66
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:26,979
We planned this amazing
meal with the caterers,
67
00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,413
And we haven't had a bite of it.
68
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:29,915
Every time we get near the food,
69
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:32,477
We get cocktail weiner blocked.
70
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:35,988
Marshall!
71
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:48,300
(glasses clinking)
72
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:51,203
(cheering)
73
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,947
We haven't eaten all day.
74
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,115
All right, let's
run some interference.
75
00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:04,483
Yeah, we'll get you
back to your table.
76
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:06,118
Come on.
77
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,487
Oh, there you are.
78
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:09,489
My dear...
79
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,223
You look so beautiful.
80
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,158
Thanks, grammie, but we really need to...
And you...
81
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,395
You look like a 1940s
movie star.
82
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:19,131
And you look like a pepper-crusted
rack of lamb with mint jelly.
83
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,799
All right, let's get
these two back to their table.
84
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:24,503
We will see you on the floor for
the conga line later, won't we?
85
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:27,639
Ted: The answer to that one
was decided weeks earlier.
86
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,742
Hmm... Conga line.
87
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,078
Oh, yes, definitely.
88
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,081
How about a slide show
of you guys through the years
89
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:39,218
Set to green day's
"time of your life"
90
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,753
And ending with your baby photos
side by side.
91
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,722
Oh, that's great.
92
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,257
Going on the list.
93
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,158
What list?
94
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,026
Horrible wedding clichés
95
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:50,162
We're not going to touch
with a ten-foot limbo pole.
96
00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:52,097
Oh, like first corinthians?
97
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:55,367
That bible verse? They do
that at every wedding.
98
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:56,735
How's it go?
99
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,937
"Love is patient and kind.
100
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,240
"Love does not envy or boast.
101
00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:02,941
"It is not arrogant or rude.
102
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:05,911
"Love does not insist
on it's own way.
103
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,013
"It is not irritable
or resentful.
104
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,449
"Love bears all things,
105
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:15,587
"believes all things,
hopes all things...
106
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,123
Endures all things."
107
00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:21,293
Lame.
Going on the list.
108
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,628
We've done it.
109
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:25,297
A wedding with zero clichés.
110
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:26,932
Wait, isn't doing it in
the reception hall bathroom
111
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:27,899
Kind of a cliché?
112
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,801
Well, okay, one cliché.
113
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,970
Well, technically two.
114
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:35,440
No! They cleared
our plates again!
115
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,744
Pepper-crusted rack of lamb,
where did you go?!
116
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:40,245
It's my wedding night.
117
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:42,147
I was supposed to have
my way with you.
118
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:44,716
Oh, well, you still have me.
119
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,652
Yeah...
120
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,420
Anyway, guys,
121
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,055
We're kind of in the middle
of something,
122
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:51,390
So if you could go bicker
123
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:52,824
Or share a tense,
sexless silence
124
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,926
Or whatever married people do
somewhere else, that'd be great.
125
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:56,928
No, barney, this is my wedding,
126
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,664
And I will sit wherever
I damn well...
127
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,065
Are those mini quiches?
128
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:02,968
Tell the secret.
129
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:06,104
Okay, uh... (clearing throat)
it was our anniversary,
130
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:07,939
So we went to this
restaurant carmichael's,
131
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,574
Which is where we went
on our first date.
132
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,310
Remember, the place
where I stole
133
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,412
The blue french horn for robin?
134
00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:15,981
Oh, right, that was you.
135
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,150
I knew that was somebody I knew.
136
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:18,984
What?
137
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,319
Dude, you were there.
138
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:23,422
That was like a big iconic
moment in all of our lives.
139
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:26,024
Maybe in your life...
I got a lot of stuff going on.
140
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:28,627
Okay, so we're sitting there
141
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:29,761
And the waiter comes over...
142
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,763
Champagne?
143
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,799
Um, we didn't order champagne.
144
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:34,801
Compliments of the house.
145
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,435
Wow.
146
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,470
Thanks.
147
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:39,504
Cheers.
148
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,006
And there, sitting at the bottom
149
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,709
Of my champagne glass is...
150
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:44,776
Mini quiche.
151
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:45,944
You're a mega-douche.
152
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,212
Oh, that's right,
153
00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:49,214
They moved that table
back toward the kitchen,
154
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:50,282
Because that's where
they're setting up
155
00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:51,817
A surprise chocolate fountain.
156
00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:54,019
Oh, no, I gave it away.
157
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,523
(lily grunting)
158
00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,624
So what was in the glass?
159
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,126
Right.
160
00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:03,729
So the waiter comes up
with two glasses of dom.
161
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:04,830
He says, "champagne?"
162
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:05,897
"we didn't order
any champagne."
163
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,199
"compliments of the house."
"wow."
164
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,234
You said that already!
165
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:11,636
Right. So robin looks down,
166
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:15,240
And there at the bottom
of her glass...
167
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:17,242
Robin:
Is an engagement ring.
168
00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:20,812
Anything you want to say
to the bride and groom?
169
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,548
Don't get married.
170
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,585
Why don't I come back.
171
00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:34,926
An engagement ring?
172
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,062
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
173
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,563
Ted, you cannot
do this to me. No.
174
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,298
No, no, no!
175
00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,435
That's what she said.
176
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:45,103
No.
177
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,239
No, no, no, no, no.
178
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:49,040
Ted, you cannot do this to me.
179
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:51,076
No. No, no, no.
180
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,077
What are you talking about?
181
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,912
This. This is what
I'm talking about.
182
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,514
What is this doing
in my champagne?
183
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:58,049
Oh, god, listen...
I just got to get out of here.
184
00:06:58,051 --> 00:06:59,518
That's not mine.
185
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,585
What?
186
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,120
That's not mine.
187
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,256
Then whose is it?
188
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:05,557
It's mine.
189
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,929
Janna...
190
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,464
Will you marry me?
191
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:13,665
Yes.
192
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:15,767
(chuckles)
193
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,536
(applause)
194
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:20,238
(chuckles)
195
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,507
Wow.
196
00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:25,444
That was hilarious.
197
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,479
I was like... What?
198
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:29,414
Anyway.
199
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:31,583
What the hell was that?
200
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,752
What the hell was what?
201
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,253
That reaction?
202
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,322
I thought you were proposing
to me.
203
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:38,890
Really? Because it sounded like
204
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,959
You thought I was trying
to set you on fire.
205
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,961
Ted, you know how I feel
about marriage.
206
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,629
Now more than ever.
207
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,731
I'm sorry, were you planning
on proposing tonight?
208
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,500
No.
Then why is this an issue?
209
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,135
Because even though you
don't want to get married,
210
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,270
I'd like to think the fact that
we've been together for a year,
211
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,973
And that we love each other
might get me a gentler reaction
212
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:58,009
Than, "no. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no."
213
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,811
"ted, you cannot do this to me.
214
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,581
No. No, no, no."
215
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:06,084
(sighs) okay, you're right, I just...
Freaked out.
216
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,252
I don't know why.
217
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:09,087
I'm sorry.
218
00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:12,357
Can we please just let it go?
219
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:14,993
No.
220
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,264
Hey, stinson.
221
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:22,300
Never lie to a man
about a chocolate fountain.
222
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,135
So did you guys find
anything to eat?
223
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,805
I had four strawberries.
224
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,640
Was there a side of champagne
225
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,108
With each of the strawberries?
226
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,670
(belching):
Yes.
227
00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:34,813
Marshall:
Lily, you could have burped
228
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,781
Or said the word "yes,"
229
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:38,149
But the fact that you did both
230
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,518
Is exactly why I married you.
231
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,052
Mmm.
232
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,188
Oh, look, more strawberries!
233
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:43,955
(sighs)
234
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:44,957
(laughing)
235
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,391
So what happened next?
236
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:47,893
Ted, don't do this.
237
00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:49,194
No, seriously.
238
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,495
Where do you see yourself
in five years?
239
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:52,197
Where do you see yourself?
240
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:55,066
Honestly, in five years...
241
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,836
I probably want to be married.
242
00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:02,007
And I probably want
to be in argentina.
243
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,475
Argentina?
244
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:05,176
Or tokyo, or paris.
245
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,746
Look, ted, I don't know where
I'm going to be in five years.
246
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,080
And I don't want to know.
247
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,149
I want my life
to be an adventure.
248
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:15,153
We have an expiration date,
don't we?
249
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:17,689
Oh, my god.
250
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,024
You guys broke up.
251
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,586
Lily:
Whoo!
252
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,164
You guys broke up.
253
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,399
I can't believe it.
254
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:28,600
Barney...
255
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,435
Story's not over.
256
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,003
Can we please not talk
about this here.
257
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,038
Can we go home?
258
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,206
Yeah, of course.
259
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,741
Uh, excuse me,
I'm sorry about this.
260
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,777
Can we actually have...
Oh, my god, it's you.
261
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,245
Wha... What?
262
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,013
You're the son of a bitch
263
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,849
Who stole our blue french horn.
264
00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:46,051
Run!
265
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:47,018
Barney:
Run?
266
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,087
Your strategy was run?
267
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,355
It was a perfectly good idea.
268
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:51,756
They didn't have
our credit card information.
269
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:52,891
They didn't know us from adam.
270
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,225
I stand by it.
271
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,227
Yeah?
272
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,695
And how did that
work out for you?
273
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:57,896
Hey!
Oh!
274
00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:59,097
(robin screams)
275
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,565
I don't see why they had
276
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,233
To keep my credit car
and driver's license
277
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,969
Till we bring the horn back.
278
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,770
Well, come on, ted,
can you blame them?
279
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,739
Look, I'm sorry
about the french horn.
280
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,574
I want to make this right.
281
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:11,810
So what we're going to do
right now is, we're going
282
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:12,978
To run!
283
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,980
(glass breaking) ooh.
284
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:18,750
So...
285
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:19,918
Argentina.
286
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,620
Argentina.
287
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,989
Why is this the first I've heard
of argentina?
288
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:26,992
Mmm, american schools suck
at geography.
289
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,094
What would be the point
in telling you
290
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,462
That I want to live
in argentina?
291
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:32,163
You don't want to live there.
I could
292
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,131
Want to live in argentina.
293
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,265
No, you couldn't.
294
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,401
I mean, you life is here
and your career.
295
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:38,136
I'm a journalist, my career
could take me anywhere,
296
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,305
And I hope it does.
Hey.
297
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,741
I could be an architect
anywhere, too.
298
00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:44,242
They have buildings
in argentina.
299
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,011
And paris.
And even tokyo.
300
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,479
I don't know
if you ever saw godzilla,
301
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,614
But he wasn't knocking down
a bunch of tents.
302
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:52,584
You're saying you want to move
to argentina?
303
00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:55,520
Well, I always regretted
304
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:58,423
Not taking a year in college
to live abroad.
305
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:00,258
I just finished
a big project at work.
306
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,860
I... I got some money saved up.
307
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,495
If ever there were a time
in my life
308
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,577
To do something like this,
it's right now.
309
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:07,599
Let's move to argentina.
310
00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:10,335
Oh, shut up.
311
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,770
You're scared I might
not be kidding.
312
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:14,272
Aren't you?
313
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,107
Nope.
314
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,079
Your move, scherbatsky.
315
00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:25,116
Okay.
316
00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:28,420
Let's do it...
Let's move to argentina.
317
00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:32,057
¡No es posible!
318
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:34,559
Nobody moves to argentina.
319
00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:35,493
The argentinean peso
320
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,662
Has dropped two-thirds
in five years,
321
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:40,031
The government is opposed
to free market reforms,
322
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,566
And the railroad has been a mess
323
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:45,170
Since the breakup
of ferrocarriles argentinos.
324
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,806
I hooked up with
an argentinean exchange student
325
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,574
In a porta-john
outside yankee stadium.
326
00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:51,409
Man, she was chatty.
327
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,178
Right? Right?
328
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,814
You caught the bouquet?
329
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:58,216
Barney.
330
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,085
The story's not over yet.
331
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,386
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
332
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,520
What?
333
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:05,924
I don't know if I can do this to you.
Do what?
334
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:08,093
Well, you say you want
to move to argentina,
335
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:10,228
But you want to have kids.
336
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,731
Oh, right. 'cause
there are no kids there.
337
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,165
On santa's map of the world,
338
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,701
There's a big black
"x" over argentina.
339
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:17,836
You know what I mean.
340
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,003
No, I don't.
341
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,239
Okay, say we had kids.
Yeah.
342
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,741
They wouldn't have to grow up
343
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:23,908
In some suburb somewhere.
344
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,076
They would grow up on the road
345
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,278
Having adventures with us.
346
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,581
Think of all the hard rock cafe
t-shirts they could collect.
347
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:33,518
Ted, you know that kids were
never a part of my plan.
348
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:39,924
But if I was going
to have someone's babies,
349
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,760
I'd have your babies.
350
00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:43,228
That's when you run.
351
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,163
Tell me you ran, ted.
352
00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:50,769
Wait, wait, wait.
353
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,637
We don't want to start having
babies right this second.
354
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,605
Do you have a...?
355
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:54,739
No, I don't.
356
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:57,742
Well, we probably shouldn't.
357
00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,611
Yeah.
358
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,451
Risk it?
359
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,119
Risk it.
360
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,504
No.
361
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,842
All right, ladies and
gentlemen, if you will
362
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:34,746
Gather around, lily and marshall
are going to cut the cake.
363
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:35,814
No.
364
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,816
Robin, you're not...
365
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,751
No, say the story's not over.
366
00:13:39,753 --> 00:13:41,186
Come on, they're
cutting the cake.
367
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,453
Say the story's not over!
368
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:45,123
Oh, god, this is
the 12th most worried
369
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,959
I've ever been
that someone's pregnant.
370
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,028
(lily laughing)
371
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:52,797
Okay, lily.
372
00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:54,766
I'm really hungry,
so let's just, uh,
373
00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:56,267
Aim for my mouth, okay?
374
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,770
Besides, the smearing the cake
thing's a cliché, remember?
375
00:13:58,772 --> 00:14:01,439
No, it's going to be so funny.
376
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,308
(distorted):
Lily.
377
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:06,010
Lily, just feed me the cake.
378
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:10,748
Please, baby, I am so hungry.
379
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,985
(guests gasping)
380
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:16,554
(lily laughing) marshall:
Whoopsy-daisy.
381
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,389
And she's okay.
382
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:19,624
She's all right.
383
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:22,727
That was funny. And it's
time for the honeymoon.
384
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:23,729
You know?
385
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,063
Guys, guys, guys.
386
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:25,897
Thank you so much.
387
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:26,965
We love you.
388
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,900
I love you.
389
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,001
Getting married,
390
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,669
Having kids.
391
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:32,671
It's all a mistake.
392
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:34,339
It's a horrible,
horrible mistake.
393
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:37,675
God, this guy's
giving me nothing.
394
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,410
All right, have fun in scotland.
395
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:41,045
If you see the
loch ness monster,
396
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,081
Tell him ted mosby
says, "what's up?"
397
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,643
Nessie's a she, ted, come on.
398
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:48,419
Good-bye.
399
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,122
(cheering)
400
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,267
Hey, kiddo.
401
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:03,735
Tsk.
402
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:07,505
You are going to miss out
on a lot of awesome stuff.
403
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:11,409
With the kid
while I am out awesome-ing
404
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,977
All over the place.
405
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,313
And you're going to get fat.
406
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:18,917
The story's not over, barney.
407
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:22,120
Okay, time to get the
horn back to the bistro.
408
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,055
Oh, ted, I don't know
if I can go again.
409
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:24,956
That tuckered me out.
410
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,758
Not a euphemism.
411
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,459
Oh.
412
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:29,794
(laughing):
Right.
413
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,863
Okay, let me just go change,
and we'll leave.
414
00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:33,932
Whoa, whoa, you get
to change and I don't?
415
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:34,966
Uh-uh.
416
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,534
Solidarity, sister.
417
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:39,904
I have a change of clothes
and you don't. Suck it up.
418
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,472
Well, if we'd actually
moved in together,
419
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:44,709
All my stuff would be
here, but we didn't, so...
420
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,587
Yeah.
421
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,656
We were all talk, weren't we?
422
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,729
We're not doing this, are we?
423
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:06,564
I don't want
to have kids in argentina.
424
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:11,002
To have kids in argentina.
425
00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:16,174
So where does that leave us?
426
00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:21,145
Well...
427
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,282
We could stay together and...
428
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:26,417
Pretend this stuff
doesn't matter.
429
00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:31,456
Or...
430
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:35,593
We could give back
the blue french horn.
431
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:43,001
You stole
a blue french horn for me.
432
00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:49,474
I would have stolen
you a whole orchestra.
433
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:53,211
♪
434
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,686
You did break up.
435
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,621
Yep.
436
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:04,889
You're not pregnant?
437
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,324
Nope.
438
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,793
An-and marshall
and lily don't know?
439
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,161
Well, afterwards,
440
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:11,963
Uh, we came by to tell you guys,
441
00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:13,831
But lily was
pretty stressed out, so...
442
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,467
Robin: We decided not to say
anything till after the wedding.
443
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:19,971
Whoa.
444
00:17:19,973 --> 00:17:21,639
You guys okay?
445
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:27,045
Well, it hasn't been the easiest
two weeks of our lives, but...
446
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:29,147
But we're okay.
447
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:32,050
The open bar helps.
448
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:32,917
Boy:
Excuse me, miss.
449
00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:33,919
Hi.
450
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,287
Could I have this dance?
451
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:40,224
Well, we knew this day
would come eventually.
452
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,659
Take care of her, little man.
453
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,001
(sighs)
454
00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:52,570
(squeals) mmm.
455
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,738
Uh-huh.
456
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,239
(both laughing)
457
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:59,677
This is by far the drunkest
I've ever seen you.
458
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,681
Uh, driver.
459
00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:07,718
Hello!
460
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,221
(laughing): Oh! Ranjit.
461
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,924
Hey, can we make a stop before
we head back to the hotel?
462
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,959
You do not have to stop.
463
00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:16,260
You can be together
464
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:19,864
As man and wife
right back there,
465
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:21,933
And because we are friends...
466
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:25,403
I will not watch.
467
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:29,740
Um, no, we actually had
something else in mind.
468
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,742
(both laughing)
469
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:34,412
Okay.
470
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:35,913
Lily, go sit down.
471
00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:37,582
Welcome to wienerburger.
472
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,083
Hi.
473
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:41,419
Uh, can we get a
number one, please,
474
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:42,787
With no pickles?
475
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:46,290
And a number four
with no onions.
476
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,058
Let me guess.
477
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:48,759
Jefferson high prom?
478
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,828
No.
479
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:51,896
But thank you.
480
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:52,930
Uh, actually,
481
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,298
We just got married.
482
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,566
Wow.
483
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,168
Congratulations.
Thank you.
484
00:18:57,736 --> 00:18:59,370
That's $7.80.
485
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:01,772
Hey, dude.
486
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:02,940
Yeah.
487
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,142
I don't know how to say this,
488
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:06,711
But your wife just threw up
in the trash.
489
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:13,651
My wife.
490
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:17,021
Ted: So marshall and
lily were married,
491
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:18,923
And robin and I were broken up.
492
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,259
And as hard as it was
at the time,
493
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,194
In the end we both
got what we wanted.
494
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:25,596
She did go on
to live in argentina
495
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:28,166
And morocco and greece,
496
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:31,269
Russia,
even japan for a little while.
497
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:35,139
And I... Well, I met your mom.
498
00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:37,175
I think for the most part
if you're really honest
499
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,943
With yourself about what you
want out of life,
500
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,878
Life gives it to you.
501
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,446
Mmm.
502
00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:43,948
Of course, at that moment,
all I really wanted
503
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:48,052
Was a scotch and soda
and a cigar.
504
00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:52,723
♪
505
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,630
Hey.
506
00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:07,305
I'm really sorry
about you and robin.
507
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,640
I know I was always joking
around about wanting you two
508
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:13,578
To break up, but you were
really good together.
509
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:18,182
Yeah... We were.
510
00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:20,351
She just wasn't
the one, you know?
511
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:21,719
The one.
512
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,821
Oh, ted, no.
513
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:25,089
Do not tell me you're going
514
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:27,558
To start searching
for "the one" again.
515
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,493
The only time I want to hear
you saying "the one" is
516
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,229
If it's followed
by the word "hundredth."
517
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,097
(sing-songy):
What up?
518
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:34,932
No, I need a break
from all that, I...
519
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,734
I just want to get out there
520
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,237
And have fun for
a while, you know?
521
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:40,905
Really?
522
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:43,274
(clearing throat):
'cause...
523
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:45,710
You know, you've been
in a relationship for a year.
524
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:49,080
You're going to...
Be a little rusty.
525
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,549
Yeah.
526
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:54,118
I'm just saying...
527
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:57,288
You're gonna need, need,
need some help out there.
528
00:20:57,290 --> 00:21:00,391
Could be.
529
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,293
Ted?
530
00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:04,028
Yes, barney.
531
00:21:04,863 --> 00:21:07,265
Do you think...
532
00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:14,672
Do you think maybe you
might... Need a wingman again?
533
00:21:18,543 --> 00:21:20,544
I do.
534
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,381
Yes!
535
00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:24,649
Yes!
536
00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:26,284
We're back.
537
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:27,752
We are back.
538
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:30,621
And ted, my boy,
it's going to be legend...
539
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:36,494
Captioned by media access
group at wgb access.Wgbh.Org36235
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