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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:06,088 Hey, you guys. 2 00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:07,673 PHOEBE: Hey. - What are you doing? 3 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,968 - Figuring out our wedding plans. - We were doing the same thing. 4 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,636 Yeah. 5 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:17,307 It's really crazy. The hall, the dress, the food. 6 00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:20,894 - I had no idea how expensive this stuff was. - Yeah, it is really pricey. 7 00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:24,606 - I freaked when I heard the numbers. - So, what did you two do about it? 8 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,693 It was simple. I came up with some cost-cutting solutions... 9 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,863 ...wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell. 10 00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:33,657 There's no way around it. 11 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:36,577 Just accept that this is gonna cost a lot of money. 12 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:40,205 I heard that weddings are, like, a $40 billion-a-year industry. 13 00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:43,375 Yeah. And I'm responsible for just, like, half of that. 14 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:48,422 But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use. 15 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,673 Are you serious? 16 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:53,177 Yeah. Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity... 17 00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,721 ...and we just got married at City Hall? 18 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,183 I think it would make me wanna marry you even more. 19 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,229 Well, I gotta say, you guys, that's an incredible gesture. 20 00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,398 Maybe you do that next time you get married. 21 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:12,613 No, no, no. The next time's gonna be Hawaii at sunset. 22 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,740 But maybe the time after that. 23 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,157 - Hey. BOTH: Hey. 24 00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:58,408 What's going on? 25 00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:02,204 Our adoption social worker is coming by, so we're cleaning the apartment. 26 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,081 "We"? 27 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:08,669 You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways. 28 00:02:10,004 --> 00:02:12,923 Hey, is this the person who decides whether or not you get a baby? 29 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,468 - Kind of. She's coming to see where we live. - And it has to go perfectly. 30 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:21,014 If she doesn't like us, she can keep us off every adoption list in the state. 31 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:24,393 Hey, maybe I should stop by. She could be a soap-opera fan. 32 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:28,021 It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity. 33 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,357 "Little people"? 34 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:32,317 "Celebrity." 35 00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,487 So I think I'm just about done here. 36 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:40,367 Unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like porn or cigarettes? 37 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,244 What? 38 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:46,123 - No. - Chandler. 39 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:52,546 I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation. 40 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,340 So there's not a magazine under the couch... 41 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,510 ...or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank... 42 00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,221 ...or a filthy video in the VCR? 43 00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,099 I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine. 44 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,851 But that tape is not mine. 45 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:10,105 - It isn't mine. - I guess we'll never know whose it is. 46 00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,198 - May I help you? - Yes. 47 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,618 We're here to make a rather sizable donation to the children. 48 00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:25,412 Well, any contribution, large or small, is appreciated. 49 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,707 Well, I think you're gonna appreciate the crap out of this one. 50 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:32,336 - Well, this is very generous. - And we don't want any recognition. 51 00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:34,171 This is completely anonymous. 52 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,924 Completely anonymous. From two kind strangers. 53 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:40,135 Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay. 54 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:43,180 We can put your names in our newsletter. 55 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,266 - Not necessary. - Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y. 56 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:51,521 And X is spelled, uh, "Mike Hannigan." 57 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,359 All right, well, on behalf of the children, thank you both very much. 58 00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:59,863 - Sure. I'm glad we did this. It feels so good. - It does. It feels really good. 59 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,616 Oh, look. And we get these free T-shirts. 60 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:06,036 Actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym. 61 00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:07,996 It's moist. 62 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,835 RACHEL: Emma will be up in a minute. ROSS: Oh, good. 63 00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:18,423 Oh, hey, Ross, listen. I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry. 64 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:22,803 Aw, that's okay. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there. 65 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,764 - Absolutely. - There was one. She's it. 66 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,142 All the rest look like they should live under a bridge. 67 00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:33,272 So, uh, what are you gonna do today? 68 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,899 Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground. 69 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,610 Oh, my God. What? 70 00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:44,783 Like I said, I was thinking of taking Emma to the Museum of Knives and Fire. 71 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:53,041 Okay, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground. 72 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:57,462 Because? 73 00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:01,383 All right, if you must know, I had a traumatic... 74 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:05,178 ...swing incident when I was little. 75 00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,015 - Seriously? - Yes. I was 4 years old. 76 00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:10,017 And I was on the swing... 77 00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:14,021 ...and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. 78 00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:20,777 And to get me out, my mom had to cut a big chunk of my hair. 79 00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:24,114 And it was uneven for weeks. 80 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,498 And you made it through that? 81 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:38,003 I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie. 82 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:43,175 Okay, fine, you can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. 83 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,969 And I was thinking Claire Danes. 84 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:49,431 Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy. 85 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:53,393 Okay? But the swings are perfectly safe. And besides, Emma loves them. 86 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:58,565 - You should come, and you'll see. - Those things go, like, 40 miles an hour. 87 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:01,068 And there's that moment when you're at the top... 88 00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:05,072 ...when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to Earth. 89 00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:09,618 Space is filled with orbiting children. 90 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,790 Look, please, just come on. 91 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:18,627 When you see the look on Emma's face, I swear, you won't regret it. 92 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:22,756 - All right. - Good. 93 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,383 You don't wanna be a mothers... 94 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:27,761 ...who pass on their irrational fears to their children, do you? 95 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,388 "Irrational," huh? 96 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:33,308 I'll remember that next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment. 97 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,559 Oh, yeah, that's the same. 98 00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:37,771 I'm sure there are 30 different species of poisonous swings. 99 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,775 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 100 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,152 Oh, my God. The adoption lady is early. 101 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,071 Okay. Okay. Here we go. 102 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,656 MONICA: Okay. - Here we go. 103 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,074 Stand up straight. 104 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,076 Big smile. 105 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,498 Hello. Is this the Creepy residence? 106 00:06:56,666 --> 00:07:00,085 We're waiting for the adoption lady. But, hey, I'm glad you're here. 107 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,796 I was cleaning this morning and I found this. 108 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:06,007 I don't know if you wanna use it, but... 109 00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:09,261 Oh, this is so sweet of you. 110 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,223 Oh, but I won't be needing a veil. I actually won't be wearing a dress at all. 111 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:16,351 I told you, I am not coming to a naked wedding. 112 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,812 No, no, no. We're not having a big reception. 113 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,856 We took the wedding money we were gonna spend... 114 00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:22,899 ...and donated it to a children's charity. 115 00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,693 That's crazy! 116 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:30,991 I'm sorry. I can't imagine giving up my one wedding day like that. 117 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,494 Yeah, well, we're different. I don't care about having a huge party. 118 00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,955 This is really nice for you, but... 119 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,709 Oh, please. I put this on and, ugh, I just look like... 120 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,752 Well, radiant. 121 00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:49,009 All right, but who cares? You know, I don't need a pretty veil and a fancy dress. 122 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,178 That's right. You're making a commitment. 123 00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:54,848 And, you know, that's the same whether you do it at the Plaza or... 124 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,933 - Where you gonna do it? - City Hall. 125 00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,602 Oh! 126 00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,730 Oh, that sounds nice. 127 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:06,151 I was just there for jury duty. They've really spruced that place up. 128 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:10,947 Okay. No, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I've made my decision. 129 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:13,867 What I really want is a great big wedding. 130 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,952 Yay! 131 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:20,665 - But you gave all the money to charity. - Well, I'll just ask for it back. 132 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,294 - I don't think you can do that. MONICA: Why not? 133 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:28,757 This is her wedding day. That's way more important than some stupid kids. 134 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:33,428 That's sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption lady. 135 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,854 RACHEL: All right, okay. Be careful. ROSS: Okay. 136 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:46,399 Careful. Watch her hair. Watch her hair! 137 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,237 - Rach, she's got, like, three hairs. - I know. I know. 138 00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:55,617 But they're just so beautiful. Oh, my God, I just pulled one out. 139 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:59,329 I promise you she's safe, okay? Watch how much she loves this. 140 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:03,166 - Okay. Okay. - Are you ready, sweetie? Here we go. 141 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:09,005 RACHEL: Okay, careful. Okay. Oh. 142 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,343 She's smiling. 143 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,929 Look at that, she does like it. 144 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:19,516 - See, I told you. - Oh. Ah! 145 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,393 [GIGGLING] 146 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:26,731 Oh, my God. Look at her, she's a little daredevil. 147 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,985 - Oh, God. Let me push. Can I push? - Oh, absolutely. 148 00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:34,823 Okay. Oh, God. Okay, get the camera. It's in the diaper bag. 149 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,408 Okay. 150 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:41,788 See? Scared of the swings. I bet you feel pretty silly. Aah! 151 00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:47,836 We're seriously asking for the money back? 152 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,546 It's for our wedding day. 153 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,883 All right, now, is this guy gay or straight? Because one of us has to start flirting. 154 00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:57,387 Wow. You here to make another donation the same day? 155 00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,639 I don't think that's ever happened before. 156 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,516 Gay. Go. 157 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,314 Oh, my God, I love your shirt. 158 00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:13,361 The donation we made earlier? Um, well, we want it back. 159 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,697 Excuse me? 160 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:19,367 See, okay, that money was for a big wedding we thought we didn't want. 161 00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,369 But it turns out we do. 162 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:24,623 So you're asking us to refund your donation to the children? 163 00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:26,541 Yeah. 164 00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,170 This feels really good. 165 00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:37,344 Yeah, I'm sorry. I am. But this wedding's just really important to me. 166 00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:41,181 Hey, it's none of my business. Besides, this is probably a good thing. 167 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:45,977 We've really been spoiling the children, what with all the food and warm clothing. 168 00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,689 That's not fair. A person's wedding is important. 169 00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:51,483 And especially to me. 170 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,445 Okay, I didn't have a graduation party. And I didn't go to prom. 171 00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:59,366 And I spent my sweet 16 being chased around a tire yard... 172 00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:03,203 ...by an escaped mental patient who, in his own words, wanted to: 173 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,038 "Kill me, or whatever." 174 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,584 So I deserve a real celebration. 175 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:14,130 And I'm not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it. 176 00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:21,262 She could've been talking about either one of us. 177 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:25,975 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 178 00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:30,397 Hi, I'm Laura. I'm here for your adoption interview. 179 00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:33,191 Hi, I'm Monica. And this is Chandler. 180 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,568 LAURA: Hi. Thank you. - Please come in. 181 00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:38,780 - Would you like something to drink? LAURA: Water would be fine. 182 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,116 We're so glad that you're here. 183 00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:43,910 We're really excited about getting this process started. 184 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:47,080 Because we love kids. Love them to death. 185 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:50,667 Well, not actually to death. That's just a figure of speech. 186 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,044 We love kids the appropriate amount... 187 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,006 ...as allowed by law. 188 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,136 - Your place is just lovely. - Thank you. 189 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:05,306 Yes, this building does have a wholesome, family feel to it. 190 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,767 I feel like I've been here before. 191 00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:09,936 Are any other couples in the building adopting? 192 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,938 Is that that couple on the first floor? 193 00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:14,482 Because we should get a baby before them. 194 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:16,526 That guy tried to sell me drugs. 195 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:21,614 But other than that, wholesome, wholesome building. 196 00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:23,867 Oh. 197 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:27,537 - What? - I just realized why I remember this place. 198 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,873 - Really? What is it? - Oh, it's nothing. 199 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:34,335 I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building. It didn't end very well. 200 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:37,464 That wouldn't, by any chance, be Joey Tribbiani? 201 00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:40,592 - Yes! - Of course it was. 202 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:45,764 We had a great night. In the morning, he promised he'd call and he didn't. 203 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,432 Rat bastard! 204 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:52,103 - So you're not friends with him? - Oh, God, no. 205 00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,439 - No, no, no. - No. Nope. 206 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:58,526 - No, no, no. - No, no, no. No. 207 00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:00,236 No. 208 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:04,324 Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. 209 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:07,035 So are either one of you planning on staying at home? 210 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,244 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 211 00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:12,624 JOEY: Hello? Anybody in there order a celebrity? 212 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,751 Ow! 213 00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,253 What was that? 214 00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:21,049 That's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here. 215 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,092 He's great with kids, though. 216 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:34,354 - Ross. Oh, my God, are you okay? - Son of a bitch! 217 00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,944 Oh, relax. I didn't say the F-word. 218 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:46,032 Ross, see, I told you! Those swings are evil! 219 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,283 All right. That is it. 220 00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:51,120 That's the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life. 221 00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:54,874 No, no, no. Okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault. 222 00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:58,086 And kind of that kid's fault. 223 00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:01,256 Who is still laughing. Nice. 224 00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:05,009 Come on. Can we just get out of here before somebody else gets hurt? 225 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:08,429 No. Okay, okay. Wait. I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing... 226 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,975 ...and you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of. 227 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,188 I know what this is all about. 228 00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:20,358 You've always been jealous of my hair. 229 00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:25,572 I just think you're an adult, okay? And you should get over your silly fears. 230 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:27,907 - All right, fine. I'll do it. - Good. 231 00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:31,119 - If you hold a spider. - Where? Where? 232 00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:34,247 If you hold a spider. 233 00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,124 I know. 234 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,756 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 235 00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:45,800 Guys, is everything okay? It's me, Joey. 236 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,468 [SCREAMS] 237 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,471 Adoption! 238 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,516 What's going on? 239 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,269 Oh, it's just like I said, that crazy... 240 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,147 ...Bert, roaming the halls. 241 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,356 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 242 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:03,192 JOEY: Guys? - Keep on roaming, Bert! 243 00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:06,321 We don't want any crazy today! 244 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,783 JOEY: What's going on? - We'll talk later, Bert. Everything's fine! 245 00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:14,078 Everything doesn't sound fine. 246 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,581 Is he all right out there by himself? 247 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,001 Oh, yeah. He has a caretaker. His older brother... 248 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,336 ...Ernie. 249 00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:27,550 - Bert and Ernie? - You can't make this stuff up. 250 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,847 You never told me about that guy and your sweet 16. 251 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,558 - I'm sorry about that. - Oh, it ended okay. 252 00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,977 One of my friends shot him. 253 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:43,232 Well, at least you'll get a proper wedding. You really deserve that. 254 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:47,236 Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. 255 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:52,241 Just like the kids I took the money from. 256 00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:57,205 No. No, no. I see where this is going. Don't make me go back there. 257 00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:02,335 Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted. 258 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:04,963 Fine, we'll give the money back. 259 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,590 If that guy at the charity gives us a hard time... 260 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:11,052 ...my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time. 261 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:16,349 I must say this seems like a lovely environment to raise a child in. 262 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:19,352 You are welcome to look under any of the furniture... 263 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:23,147 ...because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there. 264 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:28,695 Before we look around, let me make sure I have everything I need up to here. 265 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:37,036 Why don't I show you the baby's room. 266 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,960 - What are you doing? - You wouldn't let me in. 267 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:46,379 - I thought you were in trouble. - Well, we're not. 268 00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,881 But you called me "Bert." 269 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,551 That's our code word for danger. 270 00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:55,972 - We don't have a code word. - We don't? 271 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,349 We really should. 272 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:02,603 From now on, "Bert" will be our code word for danger. 273 00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:05,398 MONICA: So that was the baby's room. 274 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:11,487 - Uh, what room should we see next? - Any room that isn't behind this couch. 275 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,197 [LAUGHING] 276 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:17,035 Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny. 277 00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,836 I did not care for that. 278 00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:28,921 You have to get out of here. 279 00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:31,716 You slept with our social worker and never called her back. 280 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,968 She is still pissed, so she can't see you. 281 00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:35,970 Okay, okay. 282 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,684 CHANDLER: What? - I forgot my bat. 283 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,397 Oh, my God. 284 00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:50,735 And for the last time, we do not want to be friends with you! 285 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:55,573 And we don't wanna buy your bat! 286 00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:59,077 What are you doing here? 287 00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,954 Bert. Bert. Bert. Bert. 288 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:09,128 - Are you friends with him? - I can explain. 289 00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,422 Joey? 290 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,092 All right. Okay. Uh... 291 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,137 Wow. Yeah... 292 00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:21,182 You have got some nerve coming back here. 293 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:25,728 - I can't believe you never called me. - Excuse me? 294 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:29,982 You probably don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way. 295 00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:34,529 And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it, lady. 296 00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:39,158 I waited weeks for you to call me. 297 00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,410 I gave you my number. You never called me. 298 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,746 Don't try to turn this around on me. 299 00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:47,917 I am not some kind of social work... 300 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,627 ...that you can just... 301 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,254 ...do. 302 00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:58,678 - I'm pretty sure I gave you my number. - Really? Think about it. Come on. 303 00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:02,348 You're a beautiful woman. Smart, funny. 304 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:05,434 We had a really good time. Huh? 305 00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:09,063 If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you? 306 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:10,773 I don't know. 307 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,194 Well, maybe I'm wrong. I'm sorry. 308 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:20,241 Hey, too late for apologies. Okay? You broke my heart. 309 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:23,619 You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? 310 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,125 - Joey, wait... JOEY: No! 311 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,253 I waited a long time! I can't wait anymore. 312 00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:38,676 I'm sorry that you had to see that. I'm so embarrassed. 313 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:42,054 - Oh, that's really okay. - Yeah. We totally understand. 314 00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:45,892 - Dating is hard. - Boy, you people are nice. 315 00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:49,437 And I've got to say... 316 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:53,399 ...I think you're going to make excellent parents. 317 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,194 [DOOR OPENS] 318 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:58,821 Laura! 319 00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,205 We're back. 320 00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:10,249 Are you here to take more money? 321 00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:13,127 Because I think what you're looking for is an ATM. 322 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,005 No, no, we're here to give the money back. 323 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:20,051 Yeah. Because you know what? It's all about the children. 324 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,887 Although it's also about the wedding. 325 00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:26,974 Ugh. All right, here. No. Oh, God. 326 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:30,978 If I haven't said so already, sir, congratulations. 327 00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,231 Okay, look, enough, all right? 328 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,358 I'm stepping in and putting my foot down. 329 00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:38,986 As your future husband, I'm gonna make this decision for us. 330 00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:42,657 What do you think we should do? 331 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,661 - It's not your decision anymore. - What? 332 00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:50,081 On behalf of the children of New York, I reject your money. 333 00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:53,834 - But we're giving you this. - And I'm giving it back to you. 334 00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:56,921 Come on. Consider it a contribution. 335 00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:00,716 Well, this is very generous. 336 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,134 Please, take the check. 337 00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:05,596 Go have a great wedding and a wonderful life together. 338 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,015 Sounds good to me. We can save up, come back... 339 00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:10,726 ...and make an even bigger donation. MAN: Absolutely. 340 00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,687 And when you do, ask for Brian. 341 00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:14,188 - Oh, is that you? - No. 342 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,276 [PHONE RINGS] 343 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,320 Hello? 344 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,073 Oh, hi. 345 00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:28,911 Oh, my God, really? I can't wait to tell Chandler. 346 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,830 Okay. Goodbye. 347 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,875 - Wrong number? - That was Laura. 348 00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:38,296 She gave us a great report and we're officially on the waiting list. 349 00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,923 - That's great. - Now we just wait for a call... 350 00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:45,011 ...and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh. 351 00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:49,348 [PHONE RINGS] 352 00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:58,316 Hello? 353 00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,651 Have you seen Joey's bat? 354 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:09,618 Okay. I got a spider. 355 00:22:09,786 --> 00:22:12,121 There were two, I picked the bigger one. 356 00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:16,042 - Okay. - Okay. 357 00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:21,630 This feels perfectly normal. 358 00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:25,259 Okay, get on the swing. 359 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,721 RACHEL: Okay. 360 00:22:29,639 --> 00:22:39,065 Okay. 361 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:43,027 Oh, okay. 362 00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:46,572 Wow. Whoa. 363 00:22:46,823 --> 00:22:49,492 - See? - All right. I can do this. 364 00:22:49,659 --> 00:22:51,494 There you go. Good for you. 365 00:22:51,661 --> 00:22:54,121 You know what? I'm getting used to this little guy. 366 00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:57,833 - I don't even feel him in here anymore. - That's because he's on your neck. 367 00:22:58,001 --> 00:22:59,710 [SCREAMS] 368 00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:02,463 Whoa! Ross! 369 00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:10,471 [English - US - SDH] 30055

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