All language subtitles for How To Marry A Millionaire - S02E09 - The Golf Tournament

Here on the French
Riviera is the world famous Cap

d'Antibes. English
translation, bring money.

For this resort town is truly
the playground of millionaires.

I wouldn't mind playing there myself.

I wonder if I could
travel now and pay later.

And how would you get the money later?

Simple. Marry one of the millionaires.

Isn't it wonderful, Mike?

Lying here on the beach at Waikiki.

Loco, wake up.

I'm up. Who can sleep on
such hard sand? You know,

I think you've been
out in the sun too long.

I wonder if we'll ever get
to any of those romantic

places like Waikiki or
the Riviera or Palm Beach.

With the guys we've been dating lately,

we'll be lucky if we
ever get to Coney Island.

Well, they say if you wait long enough,
your Prince Charming's bound to come along.

Well, I hope he shows up before this
princess looks like the Queen Mother.

Oh, Gwen must be home from her date.

Good night, George. I
had a lovely evening.

Maybe she got a live one.

Oh, that's all right, George. You can
mail me the 40 cents I laid out. Good night.

Hi. Hi.

I sure can pick him. So we heard.

And it looked so promising when he
called for you. Cab waiting downstairs?

Sure the cab was waiting. It
drove us to the subway station.

Wouldn't you know it.

Did he at least take you to a good movie?

To give you a rough
idea, the coming attraction

sign in the lobby said,
next week, Garbo talks.

Where did he take you to dinner?

Oh, I took him. After
all, he paid for the movie.

Why do we always get stuck with
dates like this? I don't know, Mike,

but I've been going Dutch so often lately,

I feel like getting a
pair of wooden shoes.

No more dates with anyone
we're not sure of, okay?

Maybe we should make them put
up a deposit before we go out.

Might not be a bad idea.
Well, let's go to bed.

I've got a rough day tomorrow. Oh, me too.

I have three modeling jobs.
What are you modeling, local?

Nail polish.

What a waste of film.

And the playwright can only
give you the lines to say.

The rest is up to you.

The important thing to remember that
an actor never portrays a character.

He becomes a character.

He lives it. He breathes it.

He carries it around
with him 24 hours a day.

His personality has changed completely.

That sounds like a real challenge,
Mr. Coleman. Every part is a challenge.

To be something you're not?

Well, that's what I want you to
work on for next week's meeting.

I'll let you all pick your own
characters. Anybody have any ideas?

I do.

Mr. Frazier? I'd like to
work on a prize fighter.

All right.

But as an ex-football player,

why don't you pick something
completely away from athletics?

Say, a bookkeeper.

Mr. Coleman.

Mr. Jackson.

Well, I thought I might like
to try a bum, a panhandler.

That's really a challenge.

It's certainly quite the opposite
from the way you've been brought up.

Well... You think you could handle it?

Well, I'd like to try. All right.

But you know what? This
ought to be interesting, Jim.

I wonder if I really can do a
pen, huh? Well, how can you miss?

If you don't have any luck in one street,

you can have the chauffeur pick you up in
the town car and take you someplace else.

Yeah, well, I want to do this right.

For the next week, I'm going
to be Philip Jackson Bond.

What's this?

I see a prospective client.

Oh.

Oh.

You poor man. Are you sick?

Oh, no.

I just haven't had
anything to eat for two days.

Oh, then it can't be indigestion.

I mean, you must be hungry.

Could you please let me have a
little money for something to eat?

Of course.

You can't go around
begging on an empty stomach.

Oh, thank you, lady.

I'll never... Oh, wait a minute.

You're not going to spend this on liquor.

Oh, no, lady, no. I just want some food.

That's what they all
tell you. I'm so hungry.

Come on, I'll buy you a meal.

I wonder what'll happen to me tomorrow.

Tomorrow, you're going to find a job.

All you need is confidence.

You know, you're a
pretty wonderful person.

You really think so?

Well, I better be getting
home, and you should too.

I am home.

This is where you live?

Well, I know air conditioning is
wonderful, but this is ridiculous.

Let me give you some money for a room.

Well, don't be proud. Take it.

Uh, all right, uh, if I can pay you back.

You'd better. I'll have to
stay home and play Parcheesi.

Uh, where can I meet you?

I live at... Uh, no, I...

I'd better drop around here some
night and see how you're doing.

Oh, well, how about tomorrow night?

Oh, well...

No.

No, I'm sorry. I'm busy.
I've got lots of things to do.

Well, good night.

Good night.

8 o'clock, be OK?

8 o'clock. The door will be open.

Good night.

Good night.

Library again, local?

That's right.

What are you reading these days?

Words?

I mean, what's the subject matter?

Oh, well, I haven't gotten up to that yet.

Gwen, she's not going to
any library. All right,

but what can she
possibly be doing every night?

Ask me something simple, like
where do elephants go to die? Well,

there's one way to find out.

Maybe we should hire a
detective and have her

followed. Gwen, that would be terrible.

Loco's entitled to go anywhere she
pleases. She's not a criminal. Hire a detective.

Okay, then what'll we do?

We'll follow her ourselves.

The library, huh? Yeah.
It's the first time I've

ever seen a librarian
kiss one of the customers.

I'm home.

What's the matter?

How is the library, loco?

Oh, fine.

You know, I never knew they had a
library under the trees in Central Park.

Must be a branch library.

What? A little chilly, isn't it? Why?

You can get an education and
double pneumonia at the same time.

Unless, of course, you have
somebody to keep you warm.

You, you spied on me. That
wasn't very nice. You lied to us.

That wasn't very nice either.

Who is he? Oh, Philip
Jackson, a friend of mine.

When he kissed you, we
assumed he wasn't an enemy.

What kind of a fella takes a
girl out on a date to Central Park?

The same kind that tries to go Dutch, and
you know what we decided about that. Oh,

you don't have to worry.
We've never gone Dutch.

Really? What does he do for a living?

Well, he, uh...

He doesn't do anything. It's
nice work if you can get it. Loco,

there are two kinds of
people in this world who don't

do anything for a
living. Bums and millionaires.

Well, that's it.

He's a... He's a millionaire.

And he meets you in the park.

He's li...

He likes fresh air.

He's a fresh air type millionaire.

Now that's a new one.

What's the difference? If he's a
millionaire, he can breathe anything he wants.

Yeah, that's right.

Well, good night, everybody.

Just a minute.

Loco, why didn't you tell us about him?

Well, I... I wanted to surprise you.

All right, we're surprised. Sure.

Let's meet him. Invite him up
here. Get on the phone and call him.

Well, I don't know where to reach him.
I mean, I mean, his phone is unlisted.

You know how these millionaires are.

They only talk to other millionaires.

Well, all right. The next time you meet
him at the library, you can invite him here.

It's a beautiful night, isn't it?

Yes, the moon is lovely.

The moon?

Loco, you're looking at the
clock on the consolidated building.

Well, how could I make a
mistake like that? Oh,

no wonder I couldn't tell the difference.

The cloud just passed
in front of the moon.

Loco, do you feel all right?

Yes, but something's bothering me.

I hope it's me.

Mm-hmm.

My roommates Gwen and
Mike want to meet you.

Well, I'd like to meet them too.

I, um, I told them you
were rich. Don't be rich.

You didn't.

I did.

Philip, will you do something for me?

Come up and meet Gwen and Mike, and, well,

sort of make believe that you're wealthy.

And then after they get to know you and
like you, we can tell them the truth.

Uh-huh, that you're really a bum.

Loco, you're priceless.

Oh.

Well, I'm glad you're not angry.

Darling, would it make
any difference in your

feelings for me if I
did have a lot of money?

Of course not. I'd forgive you.

Well, there's something
I've been trying to tell you.

The truth is that I have a...
Please, let's not talk about love now.

Well, I'm not talking about love.

I do have money, lots of money.

Oh, that's terrific.

You make it sound so
convincing. No, no, but I am.

I'm rich.

Look, my father is Silas Jackson.

Jackson Steel Company.

Well, he's one of the
wealthiest men in the country.

That's wonderful.

But save all those lies for Gwen and
Mike. Do you want me to write them down,

or will you remember them?

Cream or lemon?

Plain.

You have a lovely place here, girls.

Thank you, Mr. Jackson.

Fellow, please.

Reminds me of our apartment in Paris.

Overlooking the Seine, I suppose. Oh,
don't be silly, Gwen. With their money,

they didn't overlook anything.

Dad and I went to Paris last
spring. We took the big yacht.

Terrible trip, though. We
were seasick all the way.

Loco tells us your family
is in the steel business.

That's right.

According to the stock report, steel
got off to a rather sluggish start today.

Well, it was a cold morning.

Well, as a matter of fact, I'm
not too active in Daz's business,

but he tells me he's been
trying to diversify his interest.

That's very interesting.

Yes, I always say if you
don't diversify, where are you?

Well, he says he's got some big
deal cooking Brazil right now.

Mike, you're in Wall Street. Do you
know anything about South American potash?

Oh, no, but she's just
crazy about Cesar Romero.

Well, he says there are millions
to be made in the potash market.

Oh, yes, he might even
open up a chain of them.

All this talk about millions of
dollars makes me feel so, uh, poor.

Well, money isn't really
important, is it, Philip?

Oh, no, you know the old saying,
money brings nothing but misery.

Yes, but with money, you can pick
the type of misery you like best.

Well, of course, it's getting
late. I suppose we'd better be going.

Oh, all right.

I'll just be a minute.

Gwen, can I borrow your
black velvet evening bag?

It goes so well with what I'm
wearing tonight. What are you wearing?

Your black and white print dress.

Oh, thank you. Don't wait up for me.

All right, have a good time. Bye-bye.

Bye.

Well?

He's certainly good-looking. Yes, he
is. Got nice manners. Yes, he has.

Behaves like a real gentleman. Yes,
he does. He's a phony. Yes, he is.

What?

Why, Mike, I thought it was very sincere.

Gwen, all this talk about steel
and potash, his apartment in Paris.

People with money never talk
about it except to their lawyers.

Oh, I don't know, Mike.

We took the big yacht to Europe.
What happened to the little yacht?

Maybe they sent that ahead
with the caviar and champagne.

I'm sure of it.

Meeting Loco in the park every night.

He's as phony as a $3 bill. Well, he
could fool me. Well, of course, honey.

That's the way these crooks work.

They're smooth.

All right, if you're so sure.

What are we going to do about it?

We'll find out where he lives.
Then on our way to work tomorrow,

we'll stop by his
house and check up on him.

If he is a phony and we
have to tell Loco, she'll

absolutely flip. Well,
it's for her own good.

And besides, she'll look absolutely
beautiful in a strapless straitjacket.

Now, Charles, be a sport. But
it's liable to cost me my job, sir.

You know how your father is
about things like this. Look,

if he makes any trouble,
I'll straighten it out.

Yes, but I... Look, Charles,

I've been working on this new
characterization for days now.

I have to have it
ready for class tomorrow.

Come on, now.

Very well, sir.

Look, why don't you go into
the kitchen and relax now?

Yes, sir.

And remember, your father likes his
eggs. Exactly three minutes. Very well, sir.

Morning, Charles. Good day, sir.

See, Philip hasn't been
down yet. No, he hasn't, sir.

Well, perhaps you'd better get him
up and... Hey, what's going on here?

I beg your pardon, sir? No.

That drummer school again.

What have you done with Charles?

Stuffed him in a laundry bag?

I'm Charles, sir.

Last week, you were a bum.
The week before, a pickpocket.

Every time I reached for
my wallet, we shook hands.

An actor must be prepared to
play any kind of a role, sir.

It's a challenge.

I suppose next you'll be
playing Jane Mansfield.

Oh, no, sir.

I'd have to dye my hair.

Philip, when are you going to stop this
nonsense and come back to the office?

It's Charles, sir. All
right, then, Charles.

Bring me my breakfast.

Right away, sir.

Five, ten, this is it.
It's a pretty big place. Oh,

it's probably just a rooming house.

Any questions?

A surprise party for Loco? Why?

It's our anniversary. We met
exactly one month ago today.

Well, you girls know how I feel
about her. She's so, well, so genuine.

That's more than you can
say for a lot of people.

Who's going to pay for this party?

Well, don't worry about that. I'll have
someone come in and cater the whole thing.

Since when does the
automat make up hors d'oeuvres?

I'll have the Waldorf take care of it.

You could do the serving
yourself and cut out the middleman.

Now, there's a cute idea.

No, I'll have it done
professionally. Nothing lavish, you understand.

Just a few cocktails, a few canapes.

How about frog's legs? You
could have them served on tiptoe.

Or sardines on toast with
little apples in their mouths.

Well, now, let's not lose our heads.

Now, look, Mr. Jackson, before you
do any more talking about parties,

I think there's
something you ought to know that

we know that you should know
that we know. Gwen, wait a minute.

She always gets so excited about parties.

Let me finish. Will you, Mike? Please.

Philip, we'll be very happy to help
you make the party a big success.

Oh, thank you. I knew you would.

Well, look, I'll take care of
everything. I know we'll have a wonderful time.

Good night, Mike.

Good night.

Good night, Gwen.

Good night, Gwen.

Good night.

That phony.

Mike, why did you stop me?
I was gonna tell him off.

Gwen, don't you understand?

Loco is very fond of him. She wouldn't
believe us if we told her the truth.

So we'll have to let her find
out herself the hard way. How?

He'll give the party, but he
won't be able to pay for it.

So he'll borrow the money from Loco.
And then she'll know he's a phony.

Hey, good thinking, Mike.

We'll fix that... that phony. 1939.

A great year for champagne.

You ought to know. Yes, I'll
bet you served a lot of it.

As a matter of fact, Dad
is very fond of champagne.

Oh, good old Dad.

You know, this is gonna be a great party.

Can you imagine Loco's face
when she walks in that door?

I wonder what she'll say first.

Help?

Yes, and then we'll pick her up off
the floor, and she'll say it again.

Look, I'd better have the
waiter put these on ice.

Hold down the fort. I'll be right back.

I don't like the idea of him in the
kitchen. We should have counted the silverware.

Oh, don't worry. Our pattern is open
stock at the dime store. Oh, he's a cool one.

Ordering canopies and
champagne. And a special waiter.

It's all right.

Let him get himself in deep. It'll
teach Loco a good lesson about men.

Watch it.

Well, everything's set.

If you ask anybody ready to serve in
the can of peas and cock... Oh, hold it.

That's probably Loco.

Oh, shh. Let's all be quiet.

Surprise, surprise!

Should old acquaintance
be forgot? Happy birthday,

bon voyage! Congratulations, anyone!

What's the idea? Well,
it's got to be one of them.

No, darling, this is a surprise party
for you. We met exactly one month ago.

Oh, yes, Phillip arranged the whole
thing. Isn't that sweet? Sweet and expensive.

Oh, that is sweet, Phillip, and
I... Wait, who's paying for this?

You are, darling. Now,
listen, Mike, stop joking.

I'll take care of everything.

You?

Don't worry, Loco. I'm sure you can
throw a cocktail party on time payments.

Where's the cork for that bottle?

We carry cork
champagne. The bubbles are gone.

Never mind. We'll buy
some more bubbles. Loco,

you've only had one part of
the surprise. There's more.

You ready? You better
hang on to something.

Your millionaire friend there
isn't really a millionaire at all.

Oh, I know that. You do?

Do you know he's a butler and he
works at a place over on Fifth Avenue?

Philip, you got a job!

No. No, I didn't get a job. I've always
been just exactly who I am. Philip Jackson.

My father is Silas Jackson.

You don't have to lie anymore.
They know. He's really a bum.

No, that was only a
characterization for my dramatic class.

Oh, Philip, will you please stop lying?

Look, I can prove who I am.

I brought you an anniversary present.

Now then, does that look
like something a bum could buy?

Remember that robbery they had at
Tiffany's where they smashed the window? It's hot.

Philip, did you really go out
and steal this necklace for me?

Did I?

Yes.

Yes, I went and stole
the necklace for you.

I could never love a man
who was a liar and a thief.

Oh, now listen.

You better go.

Please, listen.

Back to the park.

Maybe they'll renew your lease.

Oh, what's the use?

Just a moment.

Use the service elevator
through the kitchen, Jeeves.

Gee, it's kind of a shame.
He's such a nice-looking bum.

We're sorry you had to find out like this,

Loco. Believe me,
honey, you're better off.

Shall I serve the canapes now?

Canapes?

Anybody who touches
those gets her wrist broken.

Take them back to the store for a
refund. Well, I'll take care of that.

Yes?

How do you do?

I'm Silas Jackson.

You must be looking for your butler.

Butler? No, my son.

He invited me to a party here.

Your son? Phil Lerp?

Yes.

He is here, isn't he?

You're Silas Jackson
of the Jackson Jackson?

Why, yes.

Oh, no.

Which of you girls is local?

Believe me, Mr. Jackson, we all are.

I hope we're not going to be late. Oh, I
hope not, too. Oh, we can't afford it.

Girls, I wonder if you'd help a
fallout. I haven't eaten for days.

Oh, I'm sorry. Absolutely
not. Oh, well, I have some.

Going down, please.