All language subtitles for Exit 57 S02E101 Bonus Sketches

Still at large.

The fugitive is known to be
a... Cloudy with a 30% chance.

Wide male. I'm thinking, God,
180 pounds, something like that.

He had a buckle.

Various body parts in his wake.

Please...

I knew you were coming, I'd bake the
cake. Bake the cake, bake the cake.

If I knew you were coming, I'd bake the
cake. Hot you do, hot you do, hot you do.

Had you dropped me a letter, I'd have
hired a band. Brandest band in the land.

Drop me a ladder, I'd hire the band.

I don't know where you've been,
but it really doesn't matter.

Grab a chair and fill your
platter and dig, dig, dig right in.

If I knew you were coming, I'd
have baked a cake, hired a band.

Goodness sake, if I knew you were coming,
I'd have baked a cake. How'd you do that?

Hot you do, hot you do.

Parking lot? I'll give you a parking lot.

So that's some dense forest over there.

All this is going to be parking
lot. Cars, cars, cars. Yeah, I see.

What do you envision
for this area over here?

Well, you give me a backhoe in 20 minutes,

it'll look like a
baby's butt all over there.

Hey, do you work out?

I've been told to lift a few weights.
Hmm, I see. Yeah, but hey, all right.

Car's over there, and truck's in the back,

and then we'll just
clear all that area out.

More asphalt over there.

I want it flat. Flat?

Yeah. Well, over there will be flat. Yeah.

Mostly over here will be
wooded area with trash.

Did you put this down here?

Giddy up! Cars over there!

Trucks over there! Asphalt as far as
you can see. I'm a pony. I'm a pony.

I love it. Then I told Paul Todd,
you're just jealous because I've got a life.

What did Stolich say?
Nothing really. What could he say?

Well, I'll see you at biology.

Okay. 17 to the right, 24
to the left, and back to

8. That's your
combination. What are you doing?

I want to talk to you. I'm
going to be late for biology. Well,

I saw you cheating in Mrs.
Barefoot's Spanish class,

and you don't even speak Spanish.

So what business is it of yours, dickhead?

It's my business when your grade
affects the curve, and I'm not a dickhead.

I know that.

So what?

And I also know that you've been
smoking in the bathroom with Tracy Thorpe,

and they weren't cigarettes either.

And you know what? Last Tuesday, when
you were supposed to be at bridge class,

then you didn't go to bridge
class, then you went out to the lake,

and you were at the Shelly Lake
with a lot of hounds for three hours,

and then you told your mom you
forged her name on a sick note.

And you know what else?

Then you were in the bathroom with
pepper and you were throwing up.

And I'm going to tell on
that too. You know what?

The acid from your stomach
takes the plaque off your teeth.

That's why your hair's so thin.

You're such a retard, Rufus. God,
what do you want with me anyway?

You're such a tattletale. Why don't
you take the weekend and grow up?

I will grow up.

When you stop wearing your older
sister's tops and going for lunch off campus,

you're not a senior, and you don't
have a permit. You should stay on campus.

You better shut up. You're
going to get me in trouble.

No, you're getting yourself in
trouble. I'm just telling on you.

That makes a lot of sense.

Well, I want to go to your surprise party.

What surprise party?

Never mind.

No, is someone having a
surprise party for me?

Yeah, Karen Hooper on Friday, and
everybody's going to go, except me.

Wow.

Yeah, they're going to have a mariachi
band, and they're going to have tiki lights,

and then I heard that they were
going to have a bonfire, too.

Well, maybe I shouldn't tell
you. I'll get you in trouble.

I think I'll go to class now.

No. How could I invite you if
it's supposed to be a surprise?

But you know now, so
it's no longer a surprise.

Hello, Principal Daniel.

Hey, Rufus.

Miss Curtis, I'd like you to
report to my office immediately.

But I'm going to be late for biology.

You'll be late for graduation.

It seems that you, Miss Cronus,

and some of your comrades were
threatening Miss Stepina with heavy machinery,

and you know she's hypoglycemic.

The heavy machinery is not
to be operated by anyone

not affiliated with the construction club.

The construction club. You're wrong.

She was with me. This is Kathy
Cronus. She wasn't Kathy Karana.

She wasn't me. Is that so, Rufus?

Yes, it is.

It appears I was
erroneous in my accusations.

Well, in any event, you
two ought to scuttle off to

class before you find
yourself in very deep water.

Oh, and Rufus, I'll see you this weekend.

Ew! Wow, that was 3%, huh?

Thanks, Dreyfus. Hey, that's no problem.

Why don't you come to my party, okay?

Well, okay, I don't
guess I have anything that

I need to do. Well,
where are you going now?

I'm going to blow up biology and hang
out in the bathroom and do some whippets.

Do you want to come?

Yeah, please.

Jim.

No, James, I can't. Hey,
come on, we need you in there.

Not again.

That patient died, but
you didn't kill her.

Then I'm not gonna stand here
and let you tear yourself apart.

Tear myself apart, that's easy.

It's putting people back
together that I'm having

a little trouble with.
Jim, you're not a doctor.

You're an orderly.

You clean up after surgery, that's all.

We're a team in there.

Right.

Your job is to clean up
after the team makes a mess.

Well, this old boy, he
ain't got it no more.

It's time he pack he bags and go.

James, it's over.

If it's over because you
want it to be over, I'm glad.

But if it's over because
you believe you had something

to do with the death of that patient,

you're wrong. You just
clean up a bucket, some water.

What are you saying? It's not my fault?

Not at all.

God, James.

What happened?

What happened?

We doctors were removing a
clustiotoma from Miss Putney's head.

And when you left to empty a
wastebasket for two minutes, we lost the patient.

How is that in any way your fault?

So what are you saying? If I hadn't
left, she would have died anyway?

She would have died whether
you were in the room or not.

You have absolutely nothing
to do with the operation.

Sometimes we even
forget you're in the room.

Yeah, right.

You know, you wake up after a few years
and you think you're this great orderly.

But you're not.

Is it just some crazy, crazy dream?

No.

But you gotta understand that just
because you clean up after a war,

that don't make you a doctor.

Nothing's real if you
don't believe in who you are.

If you don't believe in
yourself, it's over, you're done.

That's not it. That is it. Why
don't you tell me the truth? The truth?

All my life, I've wanted to be part of
the correct team of specialized doctors.

But I didn't want to go to school for
the training. It seems so hard and boring.

It was. I knew it.

You think it's easy being a doctor?

Every day people come to me and
they tell me that they heard.

And I have to tell them why they...

Now, you got it made. You got
everything but the truth. Now, what's the truth?

Damn it! You can't handle the truth!

Try me!

I'm afraid, all right?
You want to hear me say it?

You want to break me
down? All right, I'm afraid.

You're a scared little orderly.

Look, I know what I am, okay?

You don't know the first
thing about being a doctor.

You don't.

And when that room is clean and all
of us doctors stop cheering your name,

it's just gonna be you and your bucket.

Now, Dr. Wisnett thinks
you clean up real good.

I think you clean up real good.

But you gotta think
you clean up real good.

And if he dies? If he dies!

Then at least he dies without
any blame going to the orderly.

And I know you can live with that.

You know, I think you're right.

Of course I'm right.

Let's see if I got this straight.

Doctor?

Where's the doctor?

And the Lord spoke to Adam, saying,

I shall make you master of all that
walks on land or swims in the sea.

But he never said
anything about what crawls.

Who are you talking to, Daddy?

Oh, no one. Eat your lentils for Daddy.

You kill a ladybug, that's bad luck.

Or the ladybug.

What's that noise?

Sounds like they're blowing
stumps over at Henchman's Gorge.

It's getting closer.

This is the place, I'm sure of it.

The man and his daughter were
definitely here. Oh, thank God they're safe now.

Wait a minute.

Take a look at this.

Some sort of footprint or track.

Mountain lion?

Not likely.

What could it be?

Only one thing.

Who are you?

Professor Roman Harkati, Department of
Agriculture. This is my daughter, Butler.

Hello.

As brilliant as she is beautiful.

This track was clearly
made by Kokomoria Novitakai.

Speak English, man. What
did you say made that track?

I could tell you, but
you wouldn't be happy.

Then make me unhappy.

Only one thing in God's
creation leaves a track like that.

The ladybug.

But in this case, one of
horrifying proportions.

My God.

Good Lord.

Sweet Jesus.

The ladybug, also known
as ladybird or ladybeetle.

There are more than
3,000 species of ladybug.

Though all have red chitinous
shells and red and brown spots.

It's one of the most
beneficial of insects.

Hot damn.

Holy cow.

Hells a-poppin'.

The tracks lead off... that way.

And that's what can happen if
this giant insect becomes enraged.

Professor, what are the chances of
this giant insect becoming enraged?

Not very good.

My beautiful daughter can explain.

Butler?

As you can see, this is where
the ladybug was first spotted.

What a beautiful brain. Question.

Has it hovered
menacingly over the stadium?

No, nor has it terrorized our
schoolyards, marauded down Main Street,

or moved in any way that would indicate
anything other than complete indifference.

The question is not whether it's
dangerous, but how to destroy it.

Are we gods?

Have we the right to
destroy what nature hath wrought?

You better believe it.

What is it now, Tareed?

Well, let's recap.

Seems we got a 60-foot
ladybug squatting out in the field.

No threat of movement.

I say I'm your man to destroy.

But it's immobile.

That's a chance I'm willing to
take. All right, who's with me?

Tareen! Tareen!

Tareen!

And that's what could happen if this
monstrous insect unleashed its fury.

Professor, what are the chances of this
monstrous insect unleashing its fury?

Trust me, that's not going to happen.

It's a ladybug.

I say we distract it and
then go in before you kill.

Tureen, where's the army?

Army?

Well, when they heard it was a
60-foot insect, they were all excited.

But then when they found out it
was just a big old ladybug, well,

that interest sort of waned a bit.

But I do have another idea. Yes?

Bring in the speakers!

All right.

Everybody!

Ladybug, Ladybug, fly away home.

Your house is on fire.
Your children will burn.

Hold it, boy.

But still, we have to wonder, what if?

Hold it right there, Blaze!
One false note and you're dead!

Well, well, well.

I seem to be caught. No funny
business, Blaze! Funny business?

I'm helpless in the face
of your terrifying weapons.

It's over, you homicidal maniac!

I surrender to your superior force.

It seems you are the victors.
Keep your hands to your side, boys.

Like this?

Or would you prefer to
put the cuffs on me?

I don't trust him. Look,
just stay on your toes.

His men could be busting here any minute.

Men?

I have no men.

There's no way for me to escape.

Truly now am I closely mewed up.

What the hell is that
supposed to mean? Watch him.

Watch him.

Let's just go in with an open mind.

All right, look, the only
reason I'm doing this is because

your church requires
counseling before we get married,

so let's just get it
over with, all right? Hi.

I'm Gina. This is my husband, Marty.

Hi.

You're right on time. We
were just making love.

I barely had time to pull my t-shirt down.

Come on in, please.

Which one's Marty? Ed.

I'm going to open a
window. It's so humid in here.

That's a great idea.

It's awfully nice of
you to have us over since

we couldn't make it to the group meeting.

So...

You two get paid for this?

We're volunteers.

We get paid in the coin of the spirit.

Have a seat, please.

All righty.

We can't stay long.

Ed.

We've been working on our
presentation for six months.

In a row.

It has brought us a lot of joy.

We hope it brings you as much.

As you know, this week's
meeting is about human sexuality.

It's about feeling
comfortable with your body.

Because you only get one.

This is my body.

This is my body.

This is my body.

This is my body. It sure is.

Let's go.

Ed, it's sanctioned by the church.

Oh, your church knows about this?

Ed, it's required.

It's hard. We know
it's a lot coming at you.

We lost a lot of people
at the group meeting.

But that's okay, because it's not for
everyone. But we know the power of it,

and we just want to help you get
over that hump and just get it on.

All righty, why don't we
just get it over with?

Let's move it along.

Ed.

We were under the impression this was
going to be about a relationship with God.

It is. Sex is a gift from God.

I was 38 years old before I met Gina.

I had never touched a woman before.

I thought the seed of my loin was
destined to dry up in the husk.

And then I met Gina.

And with God's help, we have
found an active and loving

way to release our
natural animal appetites.

I'm blessed with an abundance of
facial hair, what doctors call lanugo.

I spent the first 36 years of my life
living and denying my sexual hunger.

But Marty here, he was able
to see through this thicket.

And I blossom like Venus's fly trap.

Our lovemaking is unimaginable.

I can't imagine it.

Sometimes I'll get a
call at work from Tina.

Come home now.

And so I do.

I'll find a note on the door.
It says, I'm somewhere inside.

Find me.

So I look in the living
room. She's not there.

I look in the kitchen. She's not there.

Finally, I make my way to the
back bedroom, step by step,

only to find Tina lying in wait,
anointing herself with precious oils.

And emollients.

Talk about an afternoon delight.

As you can see, I'm
unable to have children.

Whiskers, my little dog, is my baby now.
And last Mother's Day, Wally gave me this.

It reads, world's greatest mommy. This is
the greatest gift he could have given me.

What does this have to do with God? What?

They're getting to that, Ed.

You're going to get to
the God part, right?

It has everything to do
with God. Love is God.

The most important tool
you can have in lovemaking

is to have mutual
respect for your love mate.

God gives us sex as a
means of enhancing, flavoring,

and enriching your sex
so you can get it on.

Okay, Ed?

All righty.

I think we've learned enough.

Thanks for having us over.
We're going to leave now.

It was awfully nice of
you to have us over.

This counts, right?

We get points for this, right?

And remember, sex is a gift.

It's a gift.

A very precious gift.

And never use sex as a weapon.

Never try to get your way by
holding out on your partner.

Because it's a hungry
raccoon that turns over the trash.

Bye-bye.

I think that went well.

I love you, Marty.

I love you, Gina.

I really do.

All right, Blaze, are you going to talk?

What other choice do I have?

You caught me with my
hand in the cookie jar.

Let's talk.

Who was working with you?

I worked alone.

Just a reminder, please.

This is a maximum
security facility surrounded

by government troops,
so no funny business.

There's that phrase again, funny business.

You law and order types seem awfully
concerned that I'm going to get funny.

Are you going to deny your
involvement in these crimes?

How can I?

I'm so clearly guilty.

Would you say as much
in a written confession?

By all means.

Bring me a pen.

He's toying with us!

A cruel game of cat and mouse.

Call the general and tell him
to keep the troops on alert.

Are you looking for an engagement ring?
Then come see us at Guy Blondo Jewelers.

Guy Blondo Jewelers. I do.

Dominic!

You're burrowing a hole in the floor.
What are you, a gopher? North, south,

with the grain on a circle.

Stop it!

We have a machine that we use
when we get close to the wall.

An edger! You're digging grooves!

You're digging grooves.

No.

Wrong!

Incorrect!

Erroneous!

No! Stop!

Shut it off! Shut it off! Shut it off!

How is it possible that
you've been working here for two

weeks yet you don't have a
clue as to what you're doing?

He engraved his name on a
sander. You defaced a sander.

That's a company machine.

When you have your own company, you
can carve your name all over the place,

but this machine belongs to me.

Look, Dominic, I'm
gonna have to let you go.

I'm sorry, but you can go now, Dominic.

Just you.

Goodbye.

Not a word. Go.

Go.

Go. Look, man, you did the right
thing. The guy's completely incompetent.

We got more work done when
it's just the two of us.

You know that?

I don't know, you know...

You can knock all day for all I care.

You're a menace to wood.

You know what I ought to do?

I ought to come out there and
just... Hey, hey, hey, come on, relax.

Let's just give the guy another chance.

What are you talking
about? Look at that divot.

That's going to take us all
day just to finish that. I know.

A minute ago, you called him incompetent.

Look at that. That's pathetic.

No. All right.

It's all right, we'll
just put a plant there.

All righty.

Hope you enjoyed that.

You want that wrapped up,
or you want to... Please.

All right.

You know, the Romans had the right
idea. The society was about order,

and they spent a lot of
time at public baths.

Seeds?

When in Rome.

Hi, I'm Russell. Russell Bitts.

Mind if I join you?

Why, am I coming apart?

I'm Janice, Janice Hoax. I'd be delighted.

I like you. You're hip, you're
young, you're eager. What do you do?

I'm a hydro engineer. I
primarily work with dams.

Oops, my water broke.

Well, I'd see if I could
find something to dam it up.

Can I buy you a drink, Janice?

Oh, please. Schnapps.

All right, what can I get for you?

I'd like a schnapps for the lady,
and I'll have another frozen tiger.

Easy on the mint this time. All right.

You've got great teeth. I like
them. They're pointy. They're sharp.

I find they come in
handy when I'm eating meat.

A meat eater. I'm an LPN.

All righty, a schnapps for the lady
and a frozen tiger for the gentleman.

Just put that on my card.

All righty.

I find you energetic.

I'm going kayaking tomorrow in
the hills. Why don't you join me?

Why? Are you coming to park?

Excuse me, sir. Do you have another card?

Another card? Yes, sir.
This one's been denied.

Embarrassing moment.

Quick lesson, it would appear that
all the information on this card

is contained in these little
numbers and fancy colors on the front,

but as far as the machine is concerned,

all the information is on this
little strip, a magical magnetic strip,

so why don't you try it again?

In some country, monkeys have these jobs.

Good thing they hire the handicapped.

I can say that I'm a nerd.

It seems that when the machine
read the little magical strip,

it learned that the card is no good.

Why don't I get this round, Russell?

No, I insist.

Is there a problem here, Sapporo?

Well, Mr. Staircase, this
gentleman's card's been denied.

Please, don't scold him. It was my fault.

Apparently I've given him a task
that was way beyond his capabilities.

Okay, I'll try this again, sir.

Sapporo, why don't you get that southwest
crab claw sampler platter over to TP-10,

and then, I don't know, do some
setups and marry some ketchups.

Yes, sir.

More seeds?

Please.

All this trouble over a couple drinks.

Well, if it were easy,
we would all be drunk.

Sir Poirot? Yes, sir?
Would you come here, please?

What do you need, sir?
I'd like to apologize.

This card is not worth the
plastic on which it's printed.

Sir, if it were any softer,
I would wipe my ass with it.

Do you have anything less offensive?

Please, I'll pay cash.

No, thank you. This is
not about money. This

is about trust. You see, credit is trust.

I guess what it comes down to, gentlemen,

is whether you're going
to trust me or a machine.

We'll be trusting the machine.

Well, apparently this isn't Rome.

Why don't we go?

You'll still need to pay for the
shops and the seven frozen tigers.

Look, gentlemen, I could
cause a very ugly scene,

but I'm just going to say thank you.

Good night.

Sparrow.

All right. Why don't I
just write you a check?

We're not a bank.

This ring belonged to my
grandmother. Not a pawn shop.

Perhaps there are some dishes
that... We're not a hobo camp.

Cash.

What I'm going to do is run
out and find a cash machine.

They're not stupid.

I just wish I'd get my
sister to understand that.

Well, she's older, but I think
you have the emotional maturity.

Just leave that stuff. I'll get it later.

You want some more wine? Oh, I'd
love some. Well, let's have some. Gosh,

I've been wanting to talk to
someone about this for such a long time.

You're so easy to talk to.

So are you. There you go.

I'm really glad we're taking it slow.

Well, anything good is worth waiting for,
and you are definitely worth waiting for.

So, on whom are you doing your thesis?

Oh, on Carson McCullers.

Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

She's, uh, what does she write?

Uh, memorable wedding,
heart is a lonely hunter. Yeah.

That's beautiful language.

Yeah. She's from the South.

Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm. What are we watching?

I just put this on for background.

She's from Georgia. She has lupus.

Well, that sounds so tragic. Yeah.

What's your angle on that? What is this?

I just saw it made years ago
with my buddies. It's no big deal.

She had a very sad and
lonely life, actually.

It sounds like it.

Yeah. All right.

But some... What is this?

Just me, Scott, and Chip,
and that's some girl we

met at a train station.
I don't know her name.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, it's hard to see our faces.
That's me right there, right there.

I'm the one with the Mardi Gras mask on.

Oh, my God, it's this couch.

Put the mute on or something? There we go.

Just turn it off.

Okay.

Okay, I'm so... Oh,
wait, wait, check this out.

This looks planned, but it was
a complete fluke. Right there.

Turn it... Can you turn it off?

This is disturbing, Colin.

Wait, wait, please.

Look, I have a confession to make.

I put this on for a reason.

I made this years ago when
I was in a lot of trouble.

And I'm so ashamed of that period
of my life that I was afraid that

I would never be able to have
the courage to reveal it to you.

So this was just a
desperate attempt to find some way

to get it out in the open
and hope you'd understand.

Understand? Yes.

Well, understand this, Colin.

I will never come back to this hellhole
again. I can't believe you sucked me in.

I'm going to be out of your life
faster than you can say Jack Robinson.

You make me sick.

Well, understand this,
Colin. I will never come,

come back to this hellhole hole again.

You sucked me, sucked me, sucked me.
Well, I'm going to be out of your life faster,

faster, faster than you can
say Jack, Jack Robinson. You

make me, make me, make me sick.

Well, understand this, Colin.

It doesn't matter. Grab a chair and
fill your platter. Dig, dig, dig right in.

If I knew you were
coming, I'd bake the cake. Hi.

Where you going with my baby, baby?