All language subtitles for The.Bright.Side.2020.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]ENG

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You said that there'd
be silver ♪

♪ Somewhere around my cloud ♪

♪ But the only lines,
that I can find ♪

♪ Are the ones around my frown ♪

♪ So keep your dreaming ♪

♪ Under lock and key ♪

♪ Who needs the high life ♪

♪ When love is the life for me ♪

♪ Well they say look on
the bright side ♪

♪ But I don't know where
to start ♪

♪ Cause I'm looking left and I'm
looking right ♪

♪ And all my signs are dark! ♪

♪ So here's to the starlight ♪

♪ Wherever it may be ♪

♪ Who needs the high life ♪

♪ When love is the life for me ♪

♪ Ohhhhh ♪

♪ Who needs the high life ♪

♪ When love is the life for me ♪

[HEELS CLACKING]

[BLIND SWOOSHING]

[BREATHY VOICE] Oh,
that feels so nice!

Biosalve toilet tissue.

So soft, so silky,

you could wear it.

[GIRLISH GIGGLE]

[CROWD LAUGHING]

So, I grew up on a small farm in
the west of Ireland.

The kind of place the tourist
board might celebrate

as unique and unspoilt.

But a lonely old local, looking
into it for the umpteenth time,

might simply comment,

'Ah, shite!'

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Times were hard, but Da was
nothing if not resourceful.

He used to say... [SIGHS]

'Just remember, kids,

the best things in life
are free.'

And that was our cue to go
shoplifting.

[LAUGHTER]

We may have been poor but Mam
was brilliant with poverty.

She knew exactly what to do.

She left.

[AWKWARD LAUGHTER]

Yep. True story.

[MORE AWKWARD LAUGHTER]
But eh...

I've come a long way since
then, you know?

I love my glamorous life.

Being applauded by packed houses
of up to 35 people, plus,

like yourselves.

And um...I'll never get too big
for my boots.

Because invariably, at
moments like these,

the often slurred words of my
father spring to mind.

'Always remember, Kate. You're
absolutely shite.'

[AWKWARD LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

-That was great.
-Thanks.

Okay.

A headful of bipomenthaline.

See your bipomenthaline,
I'll raise you...

..two Votrex.

All of my pseudoephedrine,
and a pair of boyos.

[PILLS RATTLING]

One week of dosies.

I will raise you, my brother's
prescription pad.

Me brother. Dr. Peter Delaney.

Ahhh. All in.

Fold.

All in.

MALE VOICE: Dr. Peter Delaney?
This isn't your usual doctor.

No, he's on holidays.

[EASY LISTENING MUSIC]

Sorry, didn't I give
you a month's supply of these
two weeks ago?

I need some more. I'm going
volunteering.

In Africa, for six weeks.

And we'll be staying in huts.
I won't be able to sleep

with all the spiders and
the mozzies and the bats.

And I'll be all bunched up
in a hammock.

And I'll be no use to any of
those starving people

without a good night's sleep
now, would I?

[CHEESY MALL MUSIC]

[TRAFFIC ROARS]

[GENTLE TAPPING]

Yeah. I know.

He could've at least
said goodbye.

[CHILD SINGS]
♪ I am a robot ♪

[KATE SINGS]
♪ I am a bot ♪

[LAUGHTER]

[JAMES SIGHS]

Uncle Jimmy's moving into
a home. I had to take him.

-Well then you can keep it.
-Liz doesn't want it in
the house.

I don't blame her. I don't want
him in my house either.

-He's our father, for God's
sake.
-Was. Past tense. Thank God!

Look, we could be there and
back in a day.

Let's just scatter the ashes and
be done with it.

-Off you go.
-Come on.

I organised everything. I did
the funeral--

That was years ago and you're
still banging on about it.

Which you didn't even bother
your arse going to.

And I did the probate. You got
a nice little flat out of it.

Yes. In the middle of
Shitsville. Thank you!

Get him away from me.

I want nothing to do with him.

Fine.

-Are you making the
robot yellow?
-Yeah.

-Yellow?
-Yellow top.

Happy yellow. Sunny yellow. What
other things are yellow?

Uhm...lemons.

Lemons!

What else? A chicken.
[CHILD LAUGHS]

[WHISPERS] Jesus Christ,
James. What are you doing?

-It's fine, okay?
-Oh God, that is so revolting.

Right. I'm going to scatter my
half at the farm,

which is what he wanted. And
you can do whatever you want
with your half.

-Fine. I'll scatter them.
-Great.

-I'll scatter them now.
-What?

WIFE: Where's she going?
James...!

[EFFORT GRUNT]

Sayonara.

Adios! Slan!

Fuck you! You bastard!

Kate...get off the trampoline.

-Kate, that is our father!
-Whoaa!

Kate! Jesus...

[KATE GROANS]

What is wrong with you?

[DISTANT SIRENS WAIL]

-Age.
-35.

Eh...next of kin?

Him, unfortunately. My brother,
James McLaughlin.

McLaughlin.

You're that Kate McLaughlin,
yeah!

My mam loves you. Never misses
a gig when you're in Leitrim.

Look, could we speed this up
a bit, please?

Yeah, hurry up, will ya?

My Dad's in agony here and I'm
late for my chemo, so.

Eh...married or single?
Single, isn't it?

Yeah. You're not with that actor
fellow anymore, sure you're not?

Didn't like him. Didn't
like him at all.

He'd a great welcome
for himself.

Look...get her fucking autograph
and get on with it.

I've been sitting here with my
Da for over two fucking hours

and now I have to listen to
this shite?

Two fuckings and a shite?

I think that qualifies as
verbal abuse.

-Fuck you.
-Number three.

Take a seat, please. Your turn
will come.

My mam will be green with envy
when she hears I met you.

MALE DOCTOR: Nothing broken.
Just a few bruised ribs.

They'll heal in their own time.

Can I get something
for the pain?

Maybe some fentanyl,
or oxycodone.

Or a little buprenorphine,
or something.

I wouldn't have thought
you'd need--

[DRAMATIC GROAN]

During the examination, I --

I did notice a lump on
your left breast.

Yeah, sure I've always had
lumpy breasts.

We need to get you checked out,
as soon as possible.

What? Might there be
something wrong?

[FOREBODING MUSIC]

[SIGHS] Well, you liked
her clip.

It was the Marilyn Monroe
interpretation thing.

-That was HER?
-Mm-hmm.

So, Kate. In your own time.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[BREATHY, STILTED VOICE]
Oooh, that feels so nice.

Biosalve toilet tissue. Urm..

So soft, so silky,
you could wear it.

-DIRECTOR: That was great,
thanks!
-No, wait, sorry.

-I just need a minute.
-You don't have a minute.

A-ha...ahhh... what harm.

Sure...why not.

-Just go ahead [INDISTINCT].
-KATE: Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]

Oooh, that feels so nice.

Biosalve toilet tissue.

So soft, so silky you could
wear it!

[SEDUCTIVE GIGGLE]

-That was unreal. Fair play.
-Thank you.

I loved it. Did you love it?

Heather, yeah? It's brilliant.

-Thanks very much. See
you later.
-We'll be in touch with you.

Okay, great. Oh...see you.

I have your number anyway,
if you want to...

Okay, bye!

[POSH VOICE] You are a disgrace
to the 'MeToo' movement.

[OWN VOICE] I know, 'twas a bit
of a low point, all right.

[POSH VOICE] So embarrassing!

[MARILYN VOICE] I thought we
were quite impressive, actually.

Yeah, well...

I don't know how much longer
I can rely on you both.

What are you saying?! What's
wrong with us?!

You heard the doctor, Lumpy.

It's not serious, is it?

I dunno yet.

I know what she's thinking.

A guilt-free way out.

People give out about
the health service,

but I think doctors are almost
too careful these days.

The slightest hint of something
that's probably nothing,

and they have you examined
within an inch of your life.

[NERVOUS LAUGH] I mean, there's
really nothing wrong with me.

I take very good care of myself.

I drink goat's milk.

I mean, you'd know if you were
sick, wouldn't you?

I certainly...would.

[BEEPING]

The thing is, Kate, there are
multiple lesions

throughout the left breast.

And there is a confluence of
small tumours around the lump.

You'll be on a course of
steroids to help deal with
the chemotherapy.

[VOICE RECEDES, SAD MUSIC PLAYS]

♪♪

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[SEAGULLS CRYING]

How was Africa?

-Eh...
-Yeah, I thought so.

-It's real.
-Please, the last doctor had
never even heard of you.

-You rang him?
-I should call the police.

I've got cancer.

That's not funny.

Stage 3, grade 3, triple
negative, fast-growing,
multiple lesions.

There's a big lump right here.
This one right here.

Do you want to feel?

Ring Dr. Kavanagh and I'll wait.

[CORK POPPING]

[SLURPING]

How are the oysters, Madam?

Delicious.

In fact, they're so good,
I think I'll have some more.

Prego.

Enjoy.

[PHONE RINGING]

I hope those oysters do not
go to waste.

[LOUNGE MUSIC]

[GIGGLING]

They didn't.

Kate?

Kate?

Kate....?!

[WRETCHING]

[WRETCHING CONTINUES]

[SPITTING] Fucking oysters!

[DEEP SIGH]

There's all sorts of new drugs
now. Cancer isn't what
it used to be.

I'm not doing it.

Months of fucking chemo.

Radiation, mutilation,
it mightn't even work.

-You're not thinking straight.
-I am.

Clear as a bell.

Every time I open my eyes,

I'm filled with dread at
the thought of another day.

The only time I can bear it, is
when I'm planning a way out.

I'm not going through all
that to stay in this hell.

Jesus, Kate...

If you don't want to live,
I can't make you. But...

But I can't bear this
anymore either.

I can't keep living in fear
every time you don't answer
the phone.

Please, don't.

I love you, Katie.

I can't imagine my world
without you.

What about Alex?

She's just a child and
she adores you.

Don't... please, just stop.

I'll do it.

On one condition.

You have to promise me,

that if the treatment
doesn't work,

you will let me go.

Auntie Katie, I heard Mummy tell
Mrs. Padley that you might die.

-Can I have your iPad?
-Alex!

Come on, give me a hug.

[MOURNFUL PIANO MUSIC]

You'll be okay.

Oh! Oh God, I'm so sorry.

Oh, thank you, dear.

NURSE: Good morning, Roisin. Oh,
this must be your daughter.

PATIENT IN CHAIR:
That's Kate McLaughlin.

-She's big in Leitrim.
-NURSE: Ah, of course!

Sit down there, Roisin. I'll be
over to you in a moment.

Kate, come with me.

Jayzus. As if we haven't enough
to put up with.

[DISTANT FEMALE VOICE]

As soon as I heard I was going
to lose the hair

I went straight out and had
it all shaved off.

Had this made. It's
from Thailand.

Cost me a pretty penny, I can
tell you, but worth it.

It says here that we should
visualize our chemotherapy

as a clear, sparkling,
health-giving fluid.

That's a tall order,

considering this shit was
developed from mustard gas.

You mustn't think like that.

It's absolutely essential
that we stay positive.

I mean, we have to.

Our thoughts are very powerful.

ROISIN: Custard cream, anyone?

[RECORDED MALE VOICE] "While
undergoing chemotherapy,

it's best to avoid all
processed foods.

It's particularly essential to
avoid refined sugars.

A low glucose level will
produce ketones,

which will stop cancer cells in
their tracks."

"While other foods, like greens
and fresh fruit

will starve cancer cells
to death."

"Thirty minutes a day of aerobic
exercise will go a long way

towards fighting fatigue during
your chemotherapy."

"If you can't get to a gym,

you could always use your own
body weight

to build strength. Lots
of lunges,

plenty of planks and
a smattering of star jumps

will all add pep to
your step..."

Kate?

Kate?

Oh...

-Hi....hi.
-Hi.

-Hi. How are you?
-Oh, you know.
Just a bit terminal.

Actually I...have something
you might be interested in.

Later on.

Casting for confidence.

Yeah, it's for women recovering
from breast cancer.

What is it?

Some kind of scheme where
the casting directors

blackmail directors into giving
insecure actors parts?

[BOTH GIGGLE] Erm...no,
it's fly-fishing.

Oh.

It's the casting, you know?
The movement?

-It's good for the
lymphatic system.
-Right.

My wife had breast cancer and
she found it useful.

I'm a volunteer now.

And it's good fun, you know?

You should think about
it, for later.

Thanks.

-Me and fishing, I don't see it.
-Okay.

Well, hold onto it. You might
change your mind.

See ya...

See ya.

[VIDEOGAME NOISE]

[SKYPE CALL RINGS] Ah,
would ya go away!

-Hi, Mum!
-Hello, dear.

Jayzus, you've been
talking to James.

Yes, he's very upset.
We all are.

What, about my cancer?

Oh, don't! I can't bear it. Make
that a large one, Paddy.

It's all right, Mum. With any
luck, the chemo won't work

and you won't have to bear it
any longer, and neither will I.

How can you say that?
Thanks, Paddy.

Now listen to me, Kate.

Padre Pio's glove is on tour in
Ireland right now.

I want you to get hold of it and
rub it on the area.

The area? You mean my
festering tit?

I'm just trying to help.

Mam, I'm just, you know what?
I'm really tired.

Yes, yes. Of course you are.

Shedding like a dog, Ma!

Oh, Jesus.

[BUZZING]

[SAD PIANO MUSIC]

Do you like my new style?

Auntie Katie, if you have no
boobies and no hair,

will you still be a girl?

Yeah.

I think you're pretty.

We can match.

Yeah!

Your man thinks he's God.

Well, I bloody hope so.

You wouldn't want
your prescriber of poison

to be a self-doubting dithering
idiot, now would you?

[IMITATES DOCTOR] So, I thought
we'd give the old chemo a shot,

and, fingers and toes crossed,
God willing you won't explode,

but what do I know at the end of
the day? What?

You have a point, dear.

We have to put our faith in
these people.

[SIGHS] Don't talk to me
about faith.

My mother has my ear worn off me

about Padre Pio and
his bloody glove.

'Don't forget your faith,'
she tells me.

As if. I mean, please.

How could you ever, in 14
billion years,

having been reared a Catholic,
forget it?

I don't know how my mother's
generation put up with it.

And to think the most revered
woman in all of Catholicism

is a virgin mother!

What a load of bullshit!

My mother actually told me,

she had to be cleansed of
the sin of having given birth.

I mean, how else were
we supposed to come out?

But the man... the man wasn't
having to be cleansed.

He didn't have to stick
his mickey in the holy water
fountain. He didn't have to--

Shut up.

Just...shut the fuck up.

[MACHINE BEEPING]

[RETCHING]

[SPITTING]

[TOILET FLUSHING]

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

-Hi, Kate.
-Hi.

I'm sure you meant well, um...

and were only trying to
entertain us.

But I just want to give
you the heads up about Roisin.

The lady with the knitting.

Oh, yeah. What about her?

You might want to go a bit easy
on the old Catholic-bashing.

She may not have a lot of
time left.

Her faith is everything to her.

Well, it was only a bit
of a laugh.

It's a chemo ward, Kate. Not
a comedy club.

[ENGINE STARTING]

So, what does having
chemotherapy actually entail?

I'm hooked up, like a prisoner
in a cell

with all these other people
that I don't know.

And that I'd rather not know.

But apparently it's absolutely
essential that we stay positive.

[LAUGHTER]

Speaking of positive,

Auntie Eileen sent me a voucher,

for a treatment of Reiki...with
the angels.

[LAUGHTER]

Reiki with the angels!

For fuck's sake. 90 bloody
euro she paid.

Not so smart, my mother's side
of the family.

Anyway, it was paid for,
so I went.

And the therapist actually
said to me,

[NORTHERN ACCENT] 'I sense
your cancer

has something to do with
your unexpressed rage.'

AUDIENCE: Ohh....!

[LAUGHTER]

'Shove your Reiki up your gaping
chakras,' I told her.

Loud and clear! No problem
expressing my rage, me.

[LAUGHTER]

MALE COMEDIAN: Imagine if a man
made a joke about chemotherapy.

I did jokes about having
chlamydia. No laughs.

Who's Lydia?

Ah, here she is now.

New material and free drugs.

Ha! Some people have
all the luck.

-Hi.
-How's it going?
-Hi.

-How're you doing?
-Alright.
-Great.

How's it going?

Yeah, good, yeah. Kate...That
was great.

Thanks.

I really admire how you're
dealing with your shit.

I'm Jay Power. Radio Ireland FM.

You should come on the show.
It has huge ratings, you know?

It might be a good way to
raise awareness.

It mightn't do your profile
any harm either.

Jammy bitch.

Not that you need the help or
anything, y'know. I'm just...

I'm a big fan.

Have been forever.

Oh yeah? How big?

[NERVOUS LAUGHTER]

[GROANING]

JAY POWER: Ah, ah...that's it.

Oh God....last fence now!

Oh God, oohhhh! Ooooh.

Ahhhh, yeah.

[GROANS]

Thank you.

[WHISPERS] Thank you.

-Do you've a bathroom?
-Down to the right.

What?!

Now...

Sorry. I was adding extra
wheatgrass.

It's supposed to reduce
myelotoxicity.

RADIO HOST: We're joined today
by Kate McLaughlin,
you're welcome along.

- KATE: Thanks.
-You're undergoing chemotherapy
at the moment, Kate.

That's right. It's actually
quite a blast, really.

I was looking forward to
the fashionable emaciation

but I'm afraid the steroids
have me ravenous.

It's weird, some days I'm
totally wrecked and then
other days,

like today, the steroids
make me feel

like I've popped cheap speed.

They're the crack cocaine of
chemotherapy.

Do you need your house painted?
I've bucketloads of energy.

And of course, one of the big
advantages of chemo

is that not a follicle remains
on my body."

-DAD: God, your one's gas.
- Extreme waxes,
eat your heart out.

I don't have to have so much as
a Brazilian, or a Hollywood.

It's more of an Antarctica down
there, y'know.

-Ah, bollocks!
- Which is a terrible waste,

as the thought of nookie goes
right out the window.

She's full of shite, Da.

Can we be serious for a minute
though, Kate?

You've had your share of
dark days.

You joke a lot about
your traumatic childhood,

you are no stranger to
depression.

You've even joked about
suicide attempts.

And now you have cancer.
That's no joke.

I mean, come on. How do
YOU really feel?

[MUSIC BUILDS]

I...

I...

-RADIO HOST: Kate?
-Oh, dear Lord.

-[CHATTER]
-KATE: I...eh...

RADIO HOST: Kate?

O-kay...and time for a break.
Back after this.

[DOOR CLOSING]

[DISTORTED NOISES, SIRENS]

[LABOURED BREATHING]

[MACHINE BEEPING]

[CAR HORN TOOTS]

[FLOORBOARDS CREAKING]

[GENTLE KNOCKING]

You don't have to keep
checking on me.

[SIGHING]

I take it you heard.

Lookit, don't mind your man.
Everyone knows he's a gobshite.

Are you okay?

Mmm, let me see.

I'm slightly mortified.

No, strike that. I'm TOTALLY
mortified.

Then there's the touch of
deep-gut nausea

laced with a dollop of
intense flu-ache.

Oh, and the blood-shot eyes and
my sore mouth.

And my brain feels as if it's
shrinking inside my bald head.

I've no energy to do anything
and my teeth even hurt.

But you know, other than that,
I'm okay, you know?

I'm fan-fucking-tastic.

Do you want a...cup of tea?

Fuck off.

I'll stick the kettle on.

Pink suits you.

By the way, I heard
your interview.

Look, I just want you to
know that--

What? That I made a complete
fucking eejit of myself on
national radio?

Oh...no.

Well, yes.

Thanks.

But we all make complete eejits
of ourselves at times.

Come on Kate, jump in. I'll
drop you home.

-No, you're all right.
-Oh, get in for God's sake.

[ENGINE STARTING]

FIONA: A complete waste of time,
you do realise that, don't you?

-What?
-Suicide.

I read recently that of
the 29 people

who survived throwing themselves
off the Golden Gate Bridge,

every single one of them
reported regretting it,

the moment their hands left
the railings.

Thank you for that, Fiona.

I'll keep it in mind the next
time I try to top myself.

FIONA: You can joke all
you like. Feeling is healing.

Of course, they've always
understood that in the East.

They know there's no escape from
emotional pain.

TAXI DRIVER: She's right, love.

I'm a Buddhist myself.

If you don't deal with
your shite in this life,

then you're going to have to
come back and deal with it in
the next.

-Correct.
-Jesus wept.

Goodness, you're very
enlightened.

You're very patronising.

You don't actually believe
that crap, do you?

I'm just saying, they know
a thing or two, those holy men.

TAXI DRIVER: Bang on.

[PEDESTRIAN X'ING SOUNDS]
Then I'm really fucked.

[CROWD CHATTER & LAUGHTER]

[GLASSES CLINKING]

[DISTANT MUSIC THUMPING]

[RETCHING]

[CUBICLE LATCH CLICKING]

[TOILET FLUSHING]

Hey.

Nice catch.

D'ya know, I'm not sure this
is my colour.

What?

This actually looks quite cool
on me. Swap?

Feck off.

[CHATTER]

[DOOR CLOSING]

Now, ladies.

There is a definite skill to
drawing the perfect eyebrow.

When there's no hair left,
you need to be very careful

where you draw that eyebrow.

Preferably over the eye!

I don't usually wear any
make-up, but I am willing

to try anything if it will make
me feel better.

I would be lost without my
makeup bag.

Well, my default setting
these days

is if I don't smell,
I'm good to go.

A touch of
glitter, just a bit of shine.

Just cheer yourself up.

-MAKEUP TUTOR: I know chemo--
-The state of me.

At least with us it's temporary.

She did that to herself
this morning.

Voluntarily.

And it's just...
it's magnificent actually,
the effect it can have.

MAKEUP ARTIST: Just, you know,
when you're feeling low,

and you just get
that definition--

Eight rounds of chemo.

Two more to go.

Then chop, chop.

Me poor babies will have
nothing to suck on.

-You have kids?
-No.

But I'm going to.

Had me eggs frozen.

-You?
-No.

Do you not want kids?

What, more of me? Are you mad?!

Right.

Yeah, one of you is more
than enough.

When's your op?

Slut-red or classy crimson?

-What?
-For me. Which one?

Slut-red or classy crimson?

Slut-red.

That obvious, eh?

Just see the effect. It's
something maybe you wouldn't
usually wear.

But maybe just give yourself
a cheer up.

Think of it as fairy dust.

[MAKES SMOOCHY NOISES]
Give us a kiss.

Do you not find me attractive
like this, no?

Eh... [GIGGLES]

Would you swipe right or left?
[BOTH LAUGH]

MAKEUP ARTIST: Ladies...

Sorry.

[SNIGGERING]

-Hey.
-Ah, hello again.

Thanks.

ROISIN: I love icebergers.
Always have.

Look at that. Gorgeous.

The perfect combination of soft
biscuit and vanilla ice-cream.

You know that stuff
I was on about,

uhm...about the church and that.

I was just trying out new
material, you know?

You wouldn't want to take
anything I said seriously,
or anything.

It's alright, dear.

I know you're putting
a brave face on it.

I know it's tough for you.

It's tough for all of us.

We're fighting for
our lives here.

Mmmm...

The last bit is the sweetest.

Getting older is great, you
know? You learn to let stuff go.

-Like yourself.
-[LAUGHTER]

You learn to enjoy the simply
things in life.

Like men.

[LAUGHTER]

You didn't like that.

What's your number?

[LAUGHTER]

I went to a counsellor once.

And after a few weeks,
she said to me:

'Kate, to my mind, you are
the adult child

of an alcoholic.'

I said, 'Excuse me! I'm
an alcoholic in my own right!'

My mother is...very disappointed
with how my life has turned out.

She says, 'Look at you.'

'You're nearly 40. You don't
have a car,

kids, or even a good handbag.'

I said to her, 'Hang on
a second.'

'I have enough experience in
life to know what's important,

and know that I have it.'

'When I go home at night-time,
I have a fella there.

Who, when I look into his eyes

and I say, 'Babe,

when the chips are down, I know
you'll be there for me.'

He looks right back at me,
and he says,

'Miaow!'

[LAUGHTER]

Kate?

Oh, hi.

Tracy's just had her op.
She needs a bit of cheering up.

I'm afraid I can't. I'm
busy, sorry.

Come on. We girls need to
stick together.

So, how is the warrior woman?

Battle weary.

Well, we'll soon change that.

Rose quartz.

Really super for bringing loving
energy to the heart chakra.

I have them all over the house.

Don't say anything funny,
Kate. It'll hurt to laugh.

I was only going to say goodbye.

[SMALL LAUGH] Hello, everyone.

How's the patient?

Speaking of which, I heard you'd
a bit of a turn.

'Twas nothing serious.

Can't do any harm.
You never know.

KATE: Like he's going to bring
her boobs back.

Shit. I didn't mean. I--

I--uh...

Fly fishing.

Apparently it actually helps
with recovery.

Seriously. My pharmacist
gave it to me.

He says the motion is, you know,

great for the old lymphatic
system to get it up and
running again.

I was a dab hand at the old fly
fishing in my day.

I spent some of my happiest
times on Lough Corrib with Tom.

[POSH ACCENT] You're not
thinking of...

No...

No.

[MARILYN VOICE] Well, all of
your chest-chopping
friends did it.

[POSH ACCENT] What about
the promise you made to James?

Well I never said anything about
a mastectomy.

Good, cause I have
co-dependent issues.

I've only ever been part of
a couple. I--I--

I couldn't survive on my own.

What about me? I'm the one being
sacrificed to the mountain.

You'd just be left here
looking like a...

Looking like a right tit!

Don't worry, girls.

With any luck, we'll all be
pushing up daisies soon enough.

Good news. You're responding
remarkably well, Kate.

The tumour is shrinking.

Now, you're going to have to
finish your cycle.

But there's a very good chance
that after the treatment,

there'll be no remaining cancer.

We're still going to have to
remove the breast, though.

Without the mastectomy, there is
no way of knowing

whether the chemotherapy has
gotten rid of all the cancer.

Even then, it could be five
years before we can tell
for sure.

It's a necessary measure. I just
wanted to bring it up again now,

so that you can get used
to the idea.

Some women...uh...they get
a shock after the operation.

When they see...uhm...they see
the area is completely flat.

It's uhm...it can be traumatic.

[DOCTOR'S VOICE RECEDES] But,
the main thing is,

your body has responded
positively to the treatment.

You're a very lucky woman.

[SAD MUSIC]

Ah, Kate, just the woman
I want to see.

Myself and Helen were just
talking about

how we could all do with
a bit of a break.

And then, we remembered...this.

Your little fly fishing trip.

Ah, we were thinking
about Roisin.

It'd be so nice for her,
and for all of us.

What do ya think?

Kate?

[DISTANT TRAFFIC]

[WIND HOWLING]

Is the chemo not working?

I've been close to the edge
a few times myself.

I didn't come out
until I was 43.

That was seven years ago.

So many wasted years.

So many times I felt
I couldn't go on.

KATE: What stopped you?

HELEN: Family.

I couldn't do it to them.

I'd one crystal clear thought.

I loved them more than
I hated my life.

KATE: The thought of having to
go on just terrifies me.

It's like I'm inside
a glass box.

And outside it, I can see life.

And happiness.

And I can't access it.

I can't. I--I don't know how.

It is possible to move on from
a dark place, Kate.

Things can change.

Don't you start with
that positive thinking crap
Fiona goes on with.

Well, I wouldn't put it quite
the way she does,

but, I have to tell you,
it's not all crap.

Synapses that fire together,
wire together,

as my professor used to say.

-What?
-It's the way the brain works.

If you think negative thoughts
all the time,

the brain literally arranges
itself to produce more of
the same.

It becomes your default setting.

A self-perpetuating
negative loop.

-That's rubbish.
-It's not actually,
it's neuroscience.

Now, how you get your neural
pathways to change

is a whole other story.

But one thing's for certain.
You need to change the channel.

[SIGHS] I wish.

I'm afraid I'm stuck on
miserable and depressed FM
for good.

I know something that might help
shift the dial.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ It's a tragic point of view ♪

♪ It's pretty honest, but it's
fucked up too ♪

[TEXT ALERT SOUND]

♪ I tried to run as far
away from you ♪

♪ I keep it messy, but I tell
the truth ♪

[WATER FLOWING] No, Fiona.

Marxism is basically by how
we're defined by the class
we're from.

What about our past lives?

I mean, surely that has
an impact on our be...haviour.

I was told by a psychic

that I was an Egyptian princess
in a former life.

Ah, right. [FIONA EXHALES] Yeah,
that explains a lot.

♪ Don't think I'm human
anymore ♪

♪ Feel soft as velvet,
pretty pure ♪

[MUSIC FADES]

Oh, now!

Isn't that a sight?

ANDY: They're very delicate,
so please just handle them
with care.

KATE: Where do you buy them?

ANDY: Well, you can buy them in
any fishing shop,
but I made most of these.

I first learned to tie flies
when I was just a boy.

I used to watch my neighbour,
Mr. Boyle, making his own flies.

They'd such great names.

Parachute Adams, Woolly Bugger,

Silver Doctor, Bunny Leech,

Black Ghost.

I couldn't wait to make my own.

I remember...I remember just
sitting there,

just mesmerized by all those
exotic raw materials.

I eh...think your flies are
undone, Mr. Burke.

[GIGGLES] It's very good,
yeah. Very funny.

It's Andy. If you're going to be
that familiar,

you'd better use my first
name. It's Andy.

There you go.

-Something like that, anyway.
-Wow.

[LAUGHING, CHATTER]

TRACY: There's something sexy
about it, isn't there?

Ladies, fly fishing is best
practised in silence.

Fish are sensitive to noise,

to changes in light and
to movements.

I know it'll probably be
a challenge for some of
you, but...

Try and remain still and quiet,
okay? [GIGGLING]

It's all very zen.

Look like a fish, think like
a fish, see like a fish.

So the action is back, flick,

forward, flick.

It's like answering
the telephone, you know?

Nice moves, ladies.

I think I'm ready for one of
them poles there, Andy.

-They're called rods, Tracy.
-Rods, poles.

All the same to me as long as
they do the job.

[NERVOUS LAUGH] Okay, then.

-Here you go.
-Thank you.

Kate, that's for you.

Thanks.

ANDY: Forward...flick once more.

Back, flick...forward.

Have you done this before?
You're an expert!
[ROISIN LAUGHS]

This is brilliant. This is
brilliant! Perfect. Try again.
ROISIN: Okay.

ROISIN: Is there nobody nice in
your life, Kate?

My brother. And my niece.

And there's the conductor on
the No.3 bus. He's nice.

You know what I mean, dear.

No...uh... No, there isn't.

That's a shame.

This might come as a bit of
a shock to you, but,

I have had a lot of sex.

Oh, dear!

[LAUGHING] For God's sake,

do you think I came down in
the last shower?

Well actually, for all
the sex I've had

I've had precious little
love, you know?

Not the real deal, anyway.

I've had a few short
affairs, but...

I always seem to pick
the wrong men

and end up using them for
stand-up material.

Now that...is a tragedy.

You're so lovely.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

-Oh!
-Are you okay?

Oh, it's...it's nothing.
Just a twinge.

We'll go in.

[ROISIN GASPING WITH EFFORT]
I forgot to take my pills today.

FIONA: 30 likes on Instagram
already, ladies.

Fancy a toke, slut-red?

I've got the best cancer
medicine on the market.

You betcha. [LAUGHS]

[BIRDS TRILLING]

So close, you could
almost touch it.

What?

Life.

My ma died from cancer
when I was 10.

It's the worst kind of poverty.

The lack of a mother.

People look at you

with that 'poor-little-thing'
look in their eyes, I hated it.

Well don't worry.

I don't feel one bit
sorry for you.

No, no one does. Not anymore.

I made sure of that.

Oh yeah?

How did you do that?

By being brilliant.

I was the first in my family to
go to college.

History and politics.

Got a scholarship,
First Class Honours degree.

Oh, I'm going places, me.

Once I'm better.

Da wants your fecking autograph,
by the way.

No problem.

Is it just you minding him?

Fair play to you.

World domination.
Cancer. Minding your da.

I don't know how you do it.

Ah...one day at a time and
all that shite.

♪ One day at a time,
sweet Jesus ♪

Spare me.

[BOTH SING]
♪ Yesterday's gone,
sweet Jesus ♪

[BOTH LAUGHING]
♪ And tomorrow
may never be mine ♪

♪ Lord help me today ♪

♪ Show me the way ♪

♪ One day at a ti... ♪
[LAUGHTER]

Go on, ye big stoner ye.

That was beautiful!

We're gonna make millions.
[KATE LAUGHS]

Anyone seen a pair of
pink slippers?

Fluffy pompoms on the toes.

[GIGGLING]

No.

Anyone for a tipple?

A woman after my own heart.

Alcohol is NOT what we need
right now, ladies.

We are in recovery.

Ah now, Fiona. As I always say,

a little bit of what you fancy
does you no harm.

You are full of surprises,
Roisin.

Are they what
I think they are?

TRACY: Best Red Leb.
HELEN: Medicinal, of course.

Of course.

Ohhh...I bought some
goodies too.

Some nuts and seeds and these
are quinoa crisps.

May I? Are these organic?
No sugar?

Uh...no! God no, no sugar.

And very...VERY organic, Fiona.

Mmm.

Mmm, yummy. [SNIGGERING]

[LAUGHTER]

There are two types of fellas.

There are the ones that go down
on you cause they love it.

And then there's the ones
that go down on you

cause they have to, like... some
sort of fair deal scheme!

[LAUGHTER]

What about the ones who won't go
down on you at all? Bastards.

Well, I never let my Gerald
go down there.

At least not with anything other
than his...penis!

[LAUGHTER]

It's too mortifying altogether.

My God, Fiona.

You are missing out on one of
life's great pleasures.

What exactly do you guys do?

I mean, I've seen
Orange Is The New Black and
they're mad for it.

[LAUGHTER]

If you...if you want to bag
a chap, girls,

that is what you have to do.

You have to create a classic

'chase him until you let him
catch you' scenario.

Gentle Jesus.

Did you learn that at
the 'Bag-a-Chap' workshop?

Now that is the workshop
I should sign up for!

Really girls, you either like
a fella or you don't.

If there's no spark,

all the workshops in the world
won't make a scrap of
difference.

Well, I got my Gerald by
following the rules.

And if you don't have
an intuitive sense of how
it's done,

there are TONS of books on
the subject.

Oh my God, it was much
simpler in my day.

What kind of books would
they be, Fiona?

Probably ones that tell
you things like,

what to wear on a first date.

Or...or when to allow him to
first see your bottom in
natural light?

[LAUGHTER]

I have a little joke, so I do.

It's a bit smutty, maybe
I shouldn't.

-KATE: Yeah!
-FIONA: Oooh, yeah.

There's these two Kerry women
pulling carrots.

One of them pulls this big,
long, fat carrot from the ground

and starts to cry.

She says it reminds her of
her husband, Seanie,
who's passed on.

[KERRY ACCENT] "Why does
it remind you of your Seanie,"

her friend asked.
"Is it the length of it?"

"Nooo!" "Is it the width of it?"

"No! 'Tis the DIRT of it!"

[LAUGHTER]

Cailin an-dana.

Point your toes. And real
stiff arms.

The arms are real stiff,
aren't they?

[SHOUTS OF 'Come on!']

Anois! Mar seo...

[IRISH TRADITIONAL MUSIC]

[WHOOPING, LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC STOPS]

[LAUGHTER]

[ROISIN STARTS SOBBING]

[SOBBING] What's Tom going to
do without me?

[BIRDS COOING]

[WATER LAPPING]

[LAUGHTER]

Ahhh!

HELEN: Ah God, girls. It's
a long time since I've seen
the dawn.

[HAPPY SHOUTS]

Oh, you are dead!

Oh...oh God! Where's my boob?

-TRACY: What?!
-HELEN: I've lost my boob.

[LAUGHING] It's here...

Here...ah, no!

Darlin'...

Oh God!

There's your boob!

[LAUGHTER RECEDES]

I wish I could do that.

I've heavy bones. I always sink.

Come on! It's easy.

Just...just lean back,
and relax.

-Put your head back.
-You'll drop me!

No, I won't! Okay now, breathe.

Breathe, in and out.

In and out. I've got you.

Look!

Yay! You're floating.

We're going to let you go now.

-One...
-Okay.

Two...three...

[DELIGHTED LAUGHTER]

HELEN: You're floating.

-TRACY: Whooo!
-HELEN: You're floating!

[ROISIN GROANS] You okay?

I'm fine.

I just need to get
these down me.

[LAUGHING] I don't know when
I've laughed so much.

It was quite the night.

TRACY: He's actually a bit of
a lash, isn't he?

Forget it. He's married.

HELEN: No, he's not.

His wife died of breast cancer.

-What?
-Yeah, three years ago.

That's why he volunteers.

Well, well, well, Fiona.

300 likes on Instagram.

What? I didn't did I?

Oh please God, say I didn't.

Dear God, what did I post?
[TRACY WHISTLES]

What? Where?

Don't mind her, Fiona. She's
only teasing you.

Jaysus.

Gerald's having an affair.

He hasn't touched me.

Not once, since the diagnosis.

[SOBBING] I feel so diseased.

[SOBBING]

HELEN: You're definitely
not gay, Tracy.

I suppose.

I'd miss the mickey.

[HUMMING]

You'll scare the fish away.

Quiet and still, I know.

I did a meditation class
once, you know.

Yeah?

I learned how to still the mind
and all that.

You sit there and you watch
your breath,

in and out, in and out.

Bored to death.

And then you follow
your thoughts--no,

you watch your thoughts floating
by like clouds until they stop.

Well, actually they never stop.

You won't catch anything if
you don't shut up, you know.

Well that's not true. I...I once
caught crabs.

Oh.

No, no.

When I was a child. With my
brother, James.

We used to catch them in
rock pools.

You can't do it, can you?

Bet you can't stay quiet for
even 10 minutes.

How much do you want to bet?

-Ten euro.
-You're on.

Deal.

[REEL WHIRRING]

One minute down. Nine to go.

You'll never do it.

Well, I didn't say I'd stay
quiet, did I?

Nice earrings. They'd make
great flies.

'Silence is the language
of the Gods.

All else is poor translation.'

Rumi.

Also known as Jalal ad-Din
Muhammad Rumi.

13th century poet and
Sufi mystic.

Silence, schmilence. [HE LAUGHS]

Language of the Gods, me hole.

[BIRDS CALLING]

[IRISH TRADITIONAL MUSIC PLAYS]

[MAN CLEARS THROAT]
There you go, missus.

Oh...thanks.

I can't believe you tweeted
a picture of your scars, Tracy.

-[LAUGHING] I mean, honestly.
-What?!

I'm fucked if I'm going to go
around like some Barbie with
fake boobs.

I've had a double mastectomy,
I've survived,
and I'm proud of it.

-Here's to you, girl.
-Yeah, but you don't even know
if it'll work.

I'll do whatever it takes to
up my chances.

Am I the only one going for
reconstruction?

I haven't decided yet.

I thought I'd be fine, but
I missed my breasts

more than I could have imagined.

TRACY: What about you, Kate?
Do you have a date yet?

He's not bad.

There's nothing I like more than
a big, mucky man.

Tits or no tits, I think you've
got a fan there.

He's only after my earring.

-I'd ride him.
-Anything with a pulse, Tracy.

[GIGGLING]

So, how's the Goddess
of Silence?

Very funny.

Come on!

Okay then.

Thank you.

What are you having?

ANDY: That was the easiest ten
I ever made. [KATE PROTESTS]

Yeah, it is! I knew you wouldn't
be able to catch any fish,

because you don't have
the ability to shut up.

I could be quiet if I Want
to be quiet.

-To catch fish, you gotta be
quiet and you can't do it.
-Yeah.

[KATE LAUGHS COYLY]

You can't have it.

Well...

it's not just the earring I'm
interested in.

♪♪

[GASPING]

[PANTING]

Don't stop...don't stop.

[HE SNIFFS]

[SHE GROANS]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[NEARBY LAUGHTER]

[CHATTER]

[MALE VOICES CHEERING]

Okay, okay! So, I'm out with
the boyfriend the other night

and I told him that my sex
therapist told me,

the best way to arouse your man,

is to lick his ears.

CROWD: Ooohhh!

And he told me it's...

Bollocks!

[RAUCOUS LAUGHTER]

[DISTORTED SOUND]

[SAD MUSIC]

[BIRDSONG]

[SPLASHING]

TRACY: It's deeper over there!

[SPLASH]

A bit of concussion might
be useful.

Fuck off, Tracy!

Just trying to help.

Just leave me alone!

[KATE GASPS]

What? You have a problem with
being murdered, do you?

Prefer to take your own
life? Tough.

[KATE GASPS]

Why the fuck, did you go through
all that treatment,

if you don't want to live?

You've got a good chance of
a full recovery for fuck's sake.

What a fucking waste!

Ughhh!

Did your mother never tell
you to mind your own fucking
business!

Oh I forgot, you didn't have
a ma, did you?

Poor little
Tracy. You stupid bitch!

Why don't you take
your First Class Honours

and your working class dreams

and just fuck off back to the
council estate you came from.

And you know what? While
you're there,

I hope the cancer gets
you and tears you

and your pathetic fucking
future to shreds!

-ANDY: Jesus!
-I fell out of my bunk.

-You should put something on it.
-I'm fine.

Listen...

I'm sorry...about last
night. I--

I haven't been with anyone since
my wife died.

-And I wasn't expecting--
-Can we just forget it?

Please.

♪♪

♪ I take a breath ♪

♪ To clear my head ♪

♪ It all came down ♪

♪ And it's too late to
make amends ♪

♪ Louder than a bird ♪

♪ A little voice whispers
to me ♪

♪ That only silence ♪

[PHONE BUZZES]

♪ Can set me free ♪

♪ Somewhere, somehow ♪

[MUSIC FADES]

Ever have a one night stand with
a guy and find yourself
thinking,

I wish there were some rules,
you know? Some etiquette.

Some 'bed-iquette' around this.

Like, recently, a guy said to
me, 'What would you like?'

Now to me, we didn't know each
other well enough

to ask such an intimate
question.

I mean, okay. We were
naked in bed.

We'd been through the foreplay.

We'd been drinking all night
together but still,

you know, I didn't know what to
say. So he repeats,

'Seriously Kate, what
would you like?'

I was so delighted
that he remembered my name!

[LAUGHTER]

And I said, 'Well, if you really
want to know,

what I'd like, is if this
one night stand

could turn into a relationship.'

'I'd love if we could get
married within the year.'

'Buy a nice house by the sea.
Have a couple of kids.

Fairly soon. I'm not getting
any younger.'

'And I'd like to never allow
the kids to become drudgery

as I've seen happen to
other couples,

but for us to acknowledge them

as the unique expression of
our love that they'd be.

And then, eventually, when
they fly the nest,

we two could grow old, happy and
content together.'

And there was silence.

[AUDIENCE TITTERS]

And he said,

and he said...

'Would it be ok if I just stuck
my finger up your arse instead?'

[LAUGHTER]

And I said, 'Okay.'

[APPLAUSE]

MALE COMIC: I know what I'd do.

I'd shoot myself, that's what
I'd do. I'd shoot myself.

But I don't know if I'd be able
to shoot myself.

-I'd shoot you.
-Would you?

-I'd shoot you.
-Well that's...
you're a good friend.

I'd shoot you.

Pills....pills.

-Cliffs of Moher for me.
-Straight over the cliffs?

Yeah, it's beautiful down there.

After you shoot me,
you can push him.

And I'll do the pills on
the way down.

[DOOR UNLOCKING, CLOSING]

Hello, Katie!

Guess who got a raise today?

Come on. Get dressed. I'll take
you out for a slap-up meal

followed by an absolute
rake of pints.

[SIGHS] Thanks, but I couldn't
face her right now.

[SKYPE RINGTONE]
Oh, would you go away!

Come on, cut her a bit of slack.

I'll put the kettle on.

Hi Mam.

Finally. I've been out of my
mind with worry.

Thankfully James has been
keeping us up to date on
your progress.

Paddy and I are very happy for
you. [SHOUTS] Aren't we Paddy?

[FAUX SWEETNESS]
Well zippity-doo-dah for you.

Because I'm not happy, not a bit
fucking happy.

As a matter of fact, I wish
you and your fucking
pussy-whipped Paddy

and your fucking fake,
yellow canary hair

and your fake tango tan and
your fake fucking concern

would just fuck right off and
leave me alone!

-Jesus, Katie!
-I hit mute. She can't hear me.

No, you didn't. I heard
every nasty word.

How could you say those things?
Paddy's not pussy-whipped!

Jesus Christ, you can be such
a bitch sometimes.

-Please!
-She's worried about you.

She's not worried about me!

She feels guilty about me.

If she was worried about me,
she'd be here.

She can't face anything.

-[JAMES LAUGHS CYNICALLY]
-What?

Pot. Kettle. Black.

-I am nothing like her!
-You're EXACTLY like her.

You see nothing through.

What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?

[HEAVY, UNHAPPY SIGH]

Look, you haven't completed
the treatment

without the mastectomy.
You know that.

You promised!

I promised I'd do the chemo
and I did it.

[SIGHING] Fuck you.

Fuck you, Katie.

[DOOR CLOSING]

[KNOCKING]

Oh, fuck's sake!

What?!

♪♪

[HEART MONITOR BEEPS]

[LABOURED BREATHING]

Oh, you poor darling.

-Da, you need to eat something.
-I'm grand, love.

Fiona, would you take him to
the canteen?

I'll take him.

No.

Stay, Kate.

Come on, Michael.

What are ya?

I'm your gold star, Da.

Always.

[LABOURED BREATHING]

He's still waiting for
your autograph.

Your da's lovely.

Mine was a bollox.

I'm scared, Kate.

Don't worry.

Somebody brave will be along
any minute now.

I'm so sorry, Tracy.

For what I said.

I--I didn't mean it.

I was just so jealous of you,
of your bright future.

I didn't want your cancer
to shred it.

I swear to God. I thought
you were better. I would've
never said--

I know. It's okay.

At least I've had a bright past.

And I learnt to swim. Well...

..float, thanks to you.

I wish it were me.

I know you do.

But it's not your time.
[BREATHING QUICKENS]

Breathe.
Breathe...slowly...that's it.

Just breathe with me.

Nice and calm.

One breath at a time.

That's it, Tracy.

It's just like floating.

Just like floating.

[SOMBRE MUSIC]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[BREATHES LOUDLY, ANGRILY]

[ROARS]

[SPLASH]

[WATER GURGLING]

♪♪

[INHALES SHARPLY]

[MUSIC BUILDS]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

These are my breasts.

They have been much admired
over the years.

[MARILYN VOICE]
What's with the camera?

[POSH VOICE]
You're making me nervous.

I'm sorry.

I know I said we'd all go
together, but...

It's either you or me, buddy.

And it's not gonna be me.

[GENTLE MELODY]

♪ Tried to control ♪

♪ Every raging fire ♪

♪ I could control ♪

♪ Every man in my empire ♪

♪ I'm holding on ♪

♪ For the light to come
through ♪

♪ This is your life ♪

♪ This is it all, this is
your shame ♪

♪ You can take it and fall ♪

♪ This is a breeze,
this is a mire ♪

♪ This is your chance for
holding the fire ♪

I read somewhere that the
biggest king salmon ever caught

was over 53 inches long and 40
inches wide.

That's enormous!

I think Tracy would have
something to say about that.

Something smutty, no doubt.

[TITTERING] Sshh, ladies.

A bit of quiet, please.

Silence is the language
of the Gods.

All else is a poor translation.

[LAUGHS]

♪♪

♪ I see a fire fighter ♪

♪ I see a line divided ♪

♪ I see a blind eye ♪

♪ I see the fear in you ♪

♪ I see the morning light ♪

♪ become the hunger strike ♪

♪ I see the walls tumble ♪

♪ I see the hate in you ♪

♪ I see the ball roll ♪

♪ I see you lose control ♪

♪ I see you never had it ♪

♪ I see the love in you ♪

♪ I see a long life ♪

♪ I see the hunger, strife ♪

♪ I see the glory too ♪

♪ I see me in you ♪

♪ I see a better life ♪

♪ I see a better life ♪

♪ I see a better life ♪

♪ I see a better life ♪

♪ Life ♪

♪ I see a better life ♪

♪ I take your breath ♪

♪ to clear my head ♪

♪ It all came down ♪

♪ And it's too late to
make amends ♪

♪ Louder than ever ♪

♪ And in a voice whispers
to me ♪

♪ That only silence can
set me free ♪

♪ Someway, somehow ♪

♪ I find the faith that I need ♪

♪ And it takes over me ♪