All language subtitles for Deadbeat.S01E08.The.Ghost.in.the.Machine.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP.5.1.H.264-FLUX_track3_[eng]

[ mysterious theme playing ]

Can you say "newspaper"?

[ speaking gibberish ]

No, that sounds
like "newsraper."

Say "news."News.

"Paper."Raper.

Nah, it still sounds like
"raper."

Ah, you know what?
I got an idea.

Let s try something else.
Look at this.

Can you say "peach"?Peach.

Peach. You said it.
Do you want it?Yes, please.

Do you want to
eat the peach?
Please.

All right, here we go.

[ gobbling ]Oh, my gosh.

[ chuckles ]

You devoured that thing.

Oh, I wish I had more peaches.
That was my lunch.

Customer. Bye.

Hi.

You re the guy
who gets rid of ghosts?

Um, I deal
with ghosts, yeah.

Okay, look,
I have a gig for you.

My father just died,
and I found out

that he was keeping a secret
apartment in Midtown.

And I would like to
hold onto it.

The secret?No, the apartment.

Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.It's in great location,

it's rent controlled.
The only problem is

I went in there
and there was this, like,

evil cackling
coming from inside the walls.

Yeah, okay.
Had you told any jokes?

Uh, no.

Maybe it was
a nervous laughter.

Right. Look,
it doesn't matter.

If you could just look into it,
that would be top-notch.

You got it. Yeah.Here's the address.

The manager will let you in.
Tell him I sent you.

And, uh, that'll be it.

Let me know when you find
something and we can talk money.

Oh, yeah,
before you take off,

do you want a candy bar
or something? I got--

No, no.
This looks terrible.

Okay, well,
to each their zone.

[ upbeat theme playing ]

Well, thank you for
letting me in, Mr. Mosalata.

Please. Taro.

So Jeremy said his dad
rented this place.

Did you know him?Nah, never met him.

He d been here
for 40 years or something.

Well before I started.

What about paying rent?

Every month a rent check
would slip through the vent

and land on my table.

Until about three months ago
when the rent checks stopped.

So I came up to check
on the guy,

make sure he wasn't dead.Sure, yeah, yeah.

He didn't answer,
so I let myself in.

But it was just...

like this.

Like no one had been here
in decades.

Well, I can see why Jeremy
liked the place so much.

Well, I'll leave you to it.Yeah, thanks, Terry.

Taro.Uh, yeah.

[ shivers ]

[ grunting ]

Well, that's stuck.

Gotta be a He-Man
or something.

[ bird squawking ]

"Herro"?

What about this guy?

Oh, it's hinged to the...

[ door creaks ]

Oh.

Awesome.

Oh, cool.

[ gasps ]

That s awesome.[ laughing ]

Whoa.

PARROT:
Herro.

Hey. That s my line.

What is this place, huh?

It's my office.

Uh, who are you?

ANNOUNCER: Master inventor, Rube Goldberg,

perfected the art of creating
complicated machines

built only to complete
a simple task.

His intention was to point out
man's capacity

for exerting maximum effort
to accomplish minimum results.

Rube Goldberg.

Now do you know who I am?Yes. Yeah.

Obviously you are
the guy who invented

all those Rube Goldberg
machines.

Close enough.

[ mysterious theme playing ]

Whoa-ho-ho. Well done, sir.

[ chuckles ]

Hi. Uh, sorry,
my name is Kevin Pacalioglu.

I've been waiting
for someone like you, Kevin.

I've been waiting
for the past 40 years.

I need your help.With what?

Finishing one final machine.

The greatest Rube Goldberg
machine of all time.

JEREMY:
My grandfather?

Yeah. Yeah, apparently this was
Rube's secret office.

He put it under your dad's name
so no one would bother him.

Your dad didn't even know.

Wait, Rube Goldberg died
in the 1970s.

How does a ghost pay rent
for 40 years?

That's the coolest part.
Rodrigo here

was holding down the fort
the whole time.

How is that even possible?

Oh, Jeremy, let me drop a little
avian knowledge on you.

Parrots can live to be
80 years old in captivity.

They often
outlive their owners.

Especially when they've been
taught to feed themselves.

This is how he did it.

He pooped in this little
tray right here.

You see that?
At the end of every month,

when this got heavy enough
and full of enough bird poo,

it would tip and it would flip
little switch on right here,

causing this contraption
to whir to life.

This little arm
would write a check,

and this fan would blow it
into the vent right here,

which is directly above
the building manager s office.

That went on
for like 40 years.

Until about
three months ago,

when your gampy removed
this one domino right here,

stopping the payments.

Why?

I think because he wanted you

to find the place
and then hire me.

He wants me to help him build
his final machine.

You know what?
Forget it.

Uh, forget what?

The job.
Just cancel the job.

I don t want you
helping that man.

What? No. Why?

Rube Goldberg destroyed
this family.

I don't want you
helping him move on

or find peace
or any of that.

He can rot away as a ghost
for all I care.

Good day to you, sir.

No, see, ghosts don't rot,
first of all.

They kind of just like look
the same as they did when--

Oh, shoot.
Hey, what the hell, man?

What-- What about the money?

[ squeaks ]RUBE: I can pay you.

If you finish this job,
I'll pay you whatever you want.

Yeah. Yeah,
I don't know, Rube.

I've had lots of
ghost clients before

and they always seem to have
trouble opening their wallets,

if you know what I mean.I m different.

I was able to pay rent
for the past 40 years, right?

That s true, you did.

How does $10,000 sound?

Ten thousand dollars?
That's amazing.

That, like,
would change my whole life.

You got yourself
a deal, sir.

All right,
there are three items I need

to complete my machine.

The first item
is a very special prototype

for a new kind of spring.

There is only
one in existence.

You'll pretend to be
delivering fruit.

No one ever questions
a fruit basket.

Can I help you?

Uh, yeah, I got some fruit.Qaddumi.

Where is that spring catalogue?

Which one?The winter catalogue

with the new spring collection.

Uh, tomorrow, tomorrow,
the latest.

If we don't have that winter
catalogue by noon tomorrow,

you're sprung.

You can't just
spring that on me.

What does your little
Lucky 7 Ball say, huh?

Does it say you re the boss?

Or does it say I'm the boss?

RUBE:
The next item
is a four-hole bowling ball.

There s one alley in New York
where I know this ball exists.

[ bowling pins clattering ]

KEVIN:
Who would ever need
a four-hole ball?

RUBE:
A guy with six fingers.

Excuse me.
Uh, still using that ball.

Oh, I m sorry.
I m always doing that. Yeah.

Can t we just, uh--?

[ bone cracks ]Ah! Damn it!

You broke my finger!
Gah! Damn.

RUBE:
The final item on the list:

the kindergarten class pet at Charles Bukowski Elementary.

It's a hamster.
Not any hamster.

It's a blind hamster.

Oi, look at this wanker.

What? Oh.

Oh, ha-ha.

Okay, very funny, guys.
Step aside.

Sorry, mate.
You gotta pay the toll.

Uh, no. No, I don't,
because I m an adult

and adults don't
pay tolls, genius.

Ah! Where did that come from?
Was that you?

Why would you do that?
What are you--?

What are you,
little David Beckham?

You've got quite the leg
for a 10-year-old. That stings.

[ groans ]

Oh. Hey, guys. You turned
my grapes into raisins.

Hey.

Hey, man,
where the hell you been?

You know how I am
on punctuality.

Yeah, I m sorry, Roof,
I tried to call.

You know what? Take one
of my burner phones, man.

Hey, Roof, when someone
is, like, super intimidating,

but they're the only thing
standing in the way of you

receiving some, like,
life-changing reward,

what's the best way to, uh...

bypass them completely?Hmm.

The way I see it, man,
you gotta face your fears.

You know. Like, I had a fear
of abandonment as a child.

And...

And now my fears came back.

[ chatter ]

[ clears throat ]

Hey, you.

And you.

I thought you weren't ready
for a relationship.

And here you are
on a date.

With a very famous
detective, no less.

Uh, which--
Oh, that actually means

that you-- You are ready
for a relationship.

Perhaps my gentle let-downs
haven't been explicit enough

to get through to your
sourdough bread bowl
of a brain.

Let me make myself
perfectly clear.

I would never date
anyone like you.

Ever.

In fact, the only reason
I might consider

having you around is
because when I look at you,

it makes me not want to eat.

Paul:
I'd just like to chime
in here for a minute.

I'm not, uh, I'm not
actually a detective.

Um, I'm a, ahem, highly
acclaimed television actor.

I could be doing movies too,

but I prefer--Fitz. Shut the [ bleep ] up.

The point is,
is that Paul Fitzgerald

is attractive, successful,
and a homeowner.

You, on the other hand,

will never amount to anything.

You know something?

You are nothing like
the sweet and kind Camomile

I used to dream
of growing old with.

And you.

You are nothing like the smooth
and confident detective

that you play on the TV.

Which I guess, makes you a
really amazing actor, actually.

So good for you. Namaste.

And you re wrong
about me, Camomile.

I will not never
amount to nothing.

I'm-- I will not--

Get out.

Out.

How does $10,000 sound?

$10,000?
That s amazing.

That, like,
would change my whole life.

You will never amount
to anything.

ROOFIE:
The way I see it, man,
you gotta face your fears.

[ laughing ]

I did not have sexual relations
with that woman.

All right, listen
up, snot wads.

Step aside before
I clean your clocks off.

Is that a fact, wanker?

What's a "fackwanker"?Hit him.

Oh, what just happened?

Get out of here!Let's go.

[ chittering ]

[ whispering ]
Hey, little fella.
Don't be afraid.

Take you out
on a little adventure.

[ whispering ]
Who the hell are you?

Who am I?Yes.

I'm-- I'm 24601.

I'm employee number 24601
from the Hamster Division.

It's a mandatory hamster
inspection.

I'll just borrow this guy
and get him out of your hair.

Excuse me. There is a sign-up
sheet for Mr. Wibbles.

You need to sign him out.

Oh, yeah, if you could just
bump me up on the list...

Listen, I don't
make the rules.

Oh...Thank you.

What is that man doing?

Honey, he's checking...Is he taking Mr. Wibbles?

Child, it's fine.
I'm just borrowing Mr. Wibbles

so I can shove him inside
of a machine.

No! He's stealing
Mr. Wibbles!

[ in normal voice ]:
No, I'm not stealing--

Get out or I will
extinguish you.

No, no, no. I--
Ow! Ow! Ow!

[ children screaming ]

You're okay.

Get out!

[ bone cracks ]

[ screaming ]

Hey, Rube.
Where's the parrot?

I let Rodrigo fly
out the window.

His work here was done.

He earned his freedom.

Cool.

Of course, New York City s not
a natural habitat for a parrot.

He'll most likely
be dead in a week.

Anyway, I got all the stuff
for which you asked.

Look at this.

Arab Spring.

Four-hole bowling ball.

Look it. Yeah.

And last, but not least,
your blind ham--

Oh, no!

Oh, my God.

Oh, he was recovering
so nicely.

You should know
that I actually don't
need any of these.

You don't need any of these?Uh-uh.

Do you have any idea
how difficult it was

for me to get this stuff?

There's a teacher at Bakowski
Elementary School

with a broken leg.

Snapped in half.

Sarah will be fine.

She's not gonna be f--

Wait a sec. What are you--?
How did you know her name?

My whole life
had been devoted

to creating
these complex machines.

I kept thinking,
"What s next?"

When I died,

I found that I had completely
neglected my family.

That's when I realized that
our actions have consequences.

Real consequences.

That's when it struck me.

What if I could
build a machine

that relied not only
on physical dominoes,

but metaphysical ones
as well?

What if I could
create an event

that led to another event?

That led to another event?

And so forth.

So am I supposed to be one
of those meta--?

Metaphysical dominoes.Yeah.

Metaphysical dominoes.
Am I one of those?

No. You, Kevin,
were necessary

to put the metaphysical
dominoes in place.

And now,
the machine is ready.

Please, would you do
me the honor?

Push that domino over.

That one right there?RUBE: Yes.

Yeah.

The other way, genius.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I knew that. There we go.

Ow!

[ horn honking ]

The winter catalog never arrived
and we missed the deadline.

The spring collection is ruined.

You're fired!

No, no. I said "lawsuit."
Not "clothing suit."

Why would I need
a lawsuit dry-cleaned?

[ bird squawks ]Is that a parrot?

Okay, now listen.
This buzzer's broken over here

so if you need me, you just pull
this string on the side.

It runs the whole length
of the hallway,

and it attaches to a see-saw
thing that'll ring a bell.

I know it's super janky,

but it's like one of those,
you know,

mouse trap
kind of thingies.

It's a Rube Goldberg
machine.

[ laughs ]

That's funny.

What's funny about that?No, nothing.

It's just, uh, Rube Goldberg
was actually my grandfather.

Rube Goldberg
was my grandfather.

[ phone rings ]

Hello?

JEREMY:
Mr. Mosalata.

Please. Taro.

Taro, hey,
it's Jeremy Goldberg.

Listen, I think I'm
going to keep

that apartment after all.Are you sure?

Yeah. I just ran into
my long-lost cousin

who I d never met,and

the fact that we have
the same grandfather,

the very man who rented
that apartment,

I-- I don't know.
It seems like it's a sign.

Like it's all part
of some bigger plan.

I'll start the paperwork. Thanks.

Oh, one thing that's definitely,
you know,

not part of the bigger plan.

That broken window,

can you fix that?

I'll take a look at it.

Okay. Thanks.

[ ringing ]

Night's coming.

Oh.

[ laughs ]

Wow.

[ laughing ]:
Oh, my God.

That was amazing.

I mean, I still like
the hand-clapping one,

but that was cool.

Oh, Rube,
you are awesome.

Wait. Oh...

Wait, Rube.

How am I supposed to get my--
My ten grand?

Oh, freaking A!
I knew it.

[ cell phone rings ]Ah...

Ugh, who's this?

Roofie, it's a bad time, man.

ROOFIE:
No, no. Wait, wait.
This is good.

Yo, check this, man.

So I'm taking a taxi
yesterday.

All of a sudden
a paper airplane

flies through the window,

hits the cab driver
in the face out of nowhere.

We swerve,

hit a town car, right?

Guess who's town car we hit.Uh, James McAvoy?

No.

Steve Myer.

Steven Myer is the mayor
of New York.

We elected a Mayor Myer?[ laughing ]: I know, right?

But check this out.
Me and him get to talking,

we chatting, right?
And I asked him, I say,
"Yo, what's taking

so freaking long with
the Second Ave. subway line?"

Yo, get this. He says the
workers don't want to work,

because it might
be haunted.

Subway ghosts.

[ laughing ]
Yup.

Short story long, how would you
like to make $10,000?

[ laughs ]

[ theme playing ]