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1
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,703
CAMOMILE:
Previously on
Deadbeat...
2
00:00:07,746 --> 00:00:10,227
Ghosts stick around
when they have unfinished
business.
3
00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:13,752
Finishing unfinished business
is my business.
4
00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:15,493
CAMOMILE: What else do we
know about this guy?
5
00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:18,627
He's fashioned himself
a little ghost hut
out of a newsstand.
6
00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:20,542
What are you scheming?
7
00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:22,065
Camomile White. Hi.
8
00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,936
Would you like to go
out sometime?
9
00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,329
That's not what
I thought you'd say.
10
00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:27,766
Do you want to
take my number?
Oh.
11
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:32,945
Call me when you want to...[ grunting ]
12
00:00:32,989 --> 00:00:35,209
play.
Call me.
13
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:38,125
[ theme music playing ]
14
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:13,856
I don't get why she
hasn't called me back.
15
00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:16,815
I have certainly left her
enough voice messages
16
00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:18,513
to let her know
I'm still interested.
17
00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:20,384
Look, why don't you just break
into her apartment
18
00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:22,430
and wear all her clothes
and wait for her?
19
00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:23,735
I do know where she lives.
20
00:01:23,779 --> 00:01:25,128
Look, just play it cool,
you know?
21
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,912
People love
what they can't have.
22
00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:31,047
That's the principle.
It's the same business
with p'chenk.
23
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,788
You can never
try to impress a femmie.
24
00:01:32,831 --> 00:01:34,355
That's why I let
them impress me.
25
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:37,967
Yeah, that makes sense.Excuse me.
Is this your place?
26
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:40,012
I'm here 'cause I heard
you deal with ghosts.
27
00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:41,797
He's the best.
I am the best.
28
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,582
I work over at the United
States of Apparel on Lex.
29
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:47,672
It's that clothing store.
I think it might be haunted.
30
00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:51,285
Uh, I'm sorry.
Are you asking me questions?
31
00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:54,679
Or...
No, that's the way
she talks.
32
00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,507
Oh.
Look, look.
Sorry about him.
33
00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:57,769
I got to get back
to my shift,
34
00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,902
but can you take
the case or not?
35
00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:01,599
I can't pay you money,
but I can probably give you
36
00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:03,601
some merchandise left over
from last season.
37
00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:05,995
Listen, I can't afford
to do any more cases
38
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,344
where I don't get paid
in money for.
39
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:10,608
I know somebody that can
flip that merch into cash.
40
00:02:10,651 --> 00:02:13,350
Oh, all right.
So can you
come with me now?
41
00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:14,917
We on it, we on it.We on it.
42
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,962
We on it, baby.
Get them ghosts.
43
00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:19,878
Hey, you know what?
I think you should
let me come with you
44
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:22,403
on this case.
Could be like a ride along.
45
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,709
Ah, I see what's
going on here, man.
46
00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,450
You are head over heels
for this girl.
47
00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:28,974
No, no. That's not what it is.
I want to see, actually,
48
00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:31,586
what my best friend
does on this job, you know?
49
00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:34,632
Oh, do you?
Yes, yes.
50
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,156
Okay, let's go.
51
00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:51,127
Oh, my God.
I hate myself.
52
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,304
Oh, come on, man.
These hoes are pros, man.
These skinny girls.
53
00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:56,306
Actually, all these posters
are of girls
54
00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:57,873
that are employees
or former employees.
55
00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,614
Word?
56
00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:03,792
Oh, my God.
So I'm guessing
this is you.
57
00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:07,317
Ha, ha, ha.
It's from
the Spring 2014 line.
58
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,798
Your ass is from
the Spring 2014 line?
59
00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:10,842
The sock, silly.
60
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:12,931
Oh. I'll take that too.
61
00:03:30,122 --> 00:03:33,082
Hey there, doll face.
I see you.
62
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:36,999
WOMAN: What a weirdo.
63
00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:39,349
What?
64
00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:44,093
Okay.
Let's get you in here.
65
00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:46,704
I'm sorry. Sorry.
66
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,837
Yeah.
67
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,753
Thought maybe you would like
a little privacy.
68
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:55,974
Oh, pardon me,
where are my mannerisms?
69
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,890
My name is Kevin,
and I help ghosts.
70
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:01,328
Even ghosts like you
who have taken up root in,
71
00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:02,851
let's be honest,
72
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:05,984
in extraordinarily realistic
vessels like this.
73
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,248
You know like,
90 percent human basically.
74
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:09,945
It's almost as if
no one could fault a guy
75
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,903
for getting confused and...
76
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:15,124
inserting myself into you.
77
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:17,866
I just so happen I have
one of these pre-lubes,
78
00:04:17,909 --> 00:04:19,433
so you don't have to do
any of the work.
79
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,348
Lot of diseases out there.
80
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,090
I just...
81
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,658
Oh! Ah!
Ha, ha, ha!
82
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,094
Dude, what is your damage?
83
00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:31,662
I had to get you
out of there somehow
Look, it worked.
84
00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:34,230
Wait, how--
how can you hear me?
85
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,886
Like I said to your
mannequin, I'm Kevin.
86
00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:40,541
I help ghosts, all right?
So let's rap, let's jive.
87
00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:41,933
Tell what you're doing
here. What's your name?
88
00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:43,326
Why are you haunting
this store?
89
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,110
My name is Alice.
90
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:47,852
I was just a girl
from Bumblefork, Iowa.
91
00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:49,419
I moved to New York City
92
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:51,987
with big eyes and a small
waist and a medium-sized dream.
93
00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:53,597
I wanted to be a model.
94
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:57,427
One day, the CEO
of United States of Apparel,
Reed Kelly,
95
00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:58,994
came in while I was working.
96
00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:00,822
We started talking
about tube tops,
97
00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:02,998
and he must've been
really interested
in what I had to say
98
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:04,608
because he asked me out.
99
00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:05,957
I went out with him,
just the two of us.
100
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:08,438
And that's
when it happened.
101
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:12,529
What? Oh. Oh, my God,
did he--did he murder you?
102
00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:16,011
Worse. He kept on telling me
how beautiful I was
103
00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:18,535
and how hot
I was making him, and...
104
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:21,016
next thing I knew, I was
stripped down to my underwear
105
00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:23,061
and he was taking
pictures of me.
106
00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:25,368
Oh, my God,
he exploitered you.
107
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:28,371
Just like he exploitered
every other girl in here.
108
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:30,199
No.
109
00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:32,462
Those other girls,
they got lucky.
110
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:35,335
What do you mean?
What did he do?
111
00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:37,337
He, uh...
112
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,774
He...
113
00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,515
He didn't use my pictures.
114
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,430
He didn't...
115
00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:45,127
Uh, ex-squeeze me?
116
00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:47,347
Not on billboards,
not in the store,
117
00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:51,046
not even in those pop-up
ads during Words With Friends.
118
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:57,618
Calm down, calm down.
I'm here to help, remember?
119
00:05:57,661 --> 00:05:59,663
You are?
Yes.
120
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,230
It sounds like
a piece of cake.
121
00:06:01,273 --> 00:06:04,233
All I gotta do
is meet with this CDEO guy
122
00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:06,191
and make him use these
photos, right?
123
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:07,279
Yeah.
124
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,673
But there's just one
problem.
125
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,240
What?
126
00:06:11,283 --> 00:06:13,155
Reed Kelly suffers from a
debilitating case
127
00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:15,375
of cacomorphobia.
128
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,289
Oh, no. Oh, boy.
129
00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:20,118
Is that the irrational
fear of Cocoa Puffs?
130
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:22,947
Uh, no.
131
00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:25,341
It's the fear
of fat people.
132
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,518
Fear of fat...
133
00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:30,607
Sorry.
134
00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:38,267
Cacomor--? It sounds
like cockomorphobia.
135
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,095
So it's not a fear
of Cocoa Puffs,
136
00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,358
it's a fear of those
who consume them
irresponsibly.
137
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,274
Exactly. I have no idea
how I get a meeting
with this guy.
138
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:48,190
Look at me. How am I gonna
pass myself off as thin?
139
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,018
I don't know,
lose weight?
140
00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:51,976
Oh, get serious, Roofie.
Come on.
141
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:55,023
What about you?
You're skinny.
You can talk to the CDO.
142
00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:58,200
Hey, I would,
but I got priors
with N'cole.
143
00:06:58,243 --> 00:06:59,636
With N'cole?
144
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,684
I knew it.
I knew it, man.
145
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:06,426
Do you even know a guy
who can flip women's
clothing into cash?
146
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,819
Or am I just gonna have to
wear this stuff around
like a fancy boy?
147
00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:14,042
I'm sorry, Pac, but, man,
this bitch could be the one.
148
00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:15,565
You're really
into this chick, huh?
149
00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:18,089
Almost. But she's all
stressed about this ghost thing.
150
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:22,529
Actually, you solving
this could be major
points for me.
151
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:26,184
All right, all right,
I will. I'll do it.
152
00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:29,100
I still have no idea how am
I gonna get into his office.
153
00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:32,582
I don't know, just,
you know, like, wear something
slimming.
154
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:34,584
Wear something slimming?
155
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:36,760
Something that makes
you look thinner.
156
00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:39,546
You know what?
I think I have
just the thing.
157
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,316
[ clears throat ]
158
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,449
Can I help you?
159
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,321
[ speaks French ]
160
00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:17,671
I am Pierre L'Croissant,
161
00:08:17,714 --> 00:08:19,368
the very famous
French fashion mongrel.
162
00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:21,326
Perhaps you
have heard of me.
163
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:24,199
I am arrived
to see Reed Kelly.
164
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:26,506
I'm sorry, if you don't
have an appointment,
165
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,812
I can't let you in.
166
00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,510
Do you really think
that Pierre L'Croissant,
167
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:32,076
the inventor
of the cargo short,
168
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,470
is accustomed to waiting
for an appointment?
169
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,865
Do you really think
you're passing for three
skinny people
170
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:39,736
and not just one fat guy
with two fake black heads
171
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:41,303
mounted on his shoulders?
172
00:08:44,131 --> 00:08:46,090
Touché.
173
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:49,398
Okay, listen,
I just need five minutes
of Mr. Kelly's time.
174
00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:52,227
It's about an employee who
is terrorizing one of his
stores.
175
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:55,317
It's a...It's
a pretty young thing
176
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,189
he had may have
an indiscretion with.
177
00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:00,017
I think he'll
wanna hear about it.
178
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:06,415
Mr. Kelly, there's
a Pierre L'Croissant here
179
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:08,852
to see you,
says it's urgent.
180
00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:11,420
Quite fat, yeah.
181
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,815
Okay.
182
00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:19,733
Thank you.
183
00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,781
[ door buzzes open ]
KELLY: Mr. Croissant.
184
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:28,219
Mr. Croissant,
please, please come in.
185
00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:30,526
As a result of
my involuntary repulsion
186
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,354
towards people of
considerable girth,
187
00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:35,487
I will have to conduct
this meeting facing away
from you.
188
00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:38,447
I completely understand,
good sir. The reason I'm here--
189
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,449
Oh. Stop, stop, stop.
190
00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:41,624
What?
191
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,452
[ bleep ] me.What?
192
00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:45,715
Even your voice sounds fat.
Look, do me a favor.
193
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:50,807
Croissant, please there is a
helium tank to your right.
194
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,374
Yeah, the pink one?Yeah, yeah, yeah.
195
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:55,725
I always keep it on deck.
I have an obese Fed Ex guy.
196
00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:57,771
Just give it a little toot.
Suck on this?
197
00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,294
Yeah, stop talking.
Give it a little...
198
00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:00,643
Okay.
199
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:05,474
[ high voice ]
Ah. Okay, is that
better?
200
00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:08,564
Much.
201
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,175
Okay.
Thank you.
I like that a lot.
202
00:10:11,219 --> 00:10:12,742
Anyway, you were saying?
203
00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:14,875
Yes, I was saying that...
204
00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:17,442
I'm afraid one
of your stores
is being haunted
205
00:10:17,486 --> 00:10:19,836
by a former employee
named Alice N.
206
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:25,450
She's a little peeved
because you took
type photos of her
207
00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:27,496
and then didn't use
any of them.
208
00:10:27,539 --> 00:10:29,063
[ sighs ]
209
00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:31,500
Son of a bitch.
210
00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:33,415
I knew this would come back
to bite me right in the dick.
211
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,678
Yeah. I know the girl
you're talking about.
212
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:37,375
Yes, yes.
213
00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:39,508
Got me. Okay.
214
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:42,076
And there's a reason,
a perfectly good reason
215
00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:43,599
that I did nothing
with those photos.
216
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,428
You see, I found out that
Allison was in fact...
217
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:49,344
my daughter.
218
00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,607
What?Yeah.
219
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:56,177
From a one-night
stand, years ago.
In middle school.
220
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,613
[ normal voice ]
Oh, my God.
221
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,919
Whoa, helium, helium.
222
00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:01,443
Oh, I got it right here.[ gags ]
223
00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:04,794
[ high voice ]
Okay, we're back
to square one.
224
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:08,363
Oh, Jesus.
Okay. Anyway, I'm sorry,
225
00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:11,453
but there's no way I could
exploit my daughter.
226
00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:14,543
I mean, what kind
of a monster do
you think I am?
227
00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:17,546
Well, I will certainly
tell Alice N.
228
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,809
She's gonna be a little
disappointed.
229
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:21,332
Also, probably
a little disturbed.
230
00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:23,334
Okay, I'm sorry.
Hold on.
231
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:25,467
Why do you keep saying
her name that way?
232
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:28,905
What? Oh, Alice N?
Because I know two Alices,
233
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:30,907
and this is how I keep
them different in my head.
234
00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:34,911
This one is called Alice N,
like new Alice, Alice New.
235
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,304
The other is Alice O
for old--
236
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:37,435
Okay, hold on.
237
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:39,481
Stop it.
Stop it. Stop it.
238
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,744
I got it. Ha, ha, ha.
239
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:44,704
Wait a minute.
Holy shit.
240
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:48,882
Wait a second.
I thought you were
saying Allison.
241
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,710
No. Alice--Yes. Can you understand
242
00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,581
why I thought
you were saying Allison?
243
00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:55,323
Because when you say
Alice N...
244
00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:56,585
it sounds like Allison.
245
00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:59,196
Oh, I guess so.Okay. This Alice girl.
246
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,633
This Alice "N", okay?
247
00:12:01,677 --> 00:12:05,333
I don't...
I don't know who--
That's not my daughter.
248
00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,074
No. Uh-uh.
No, no, no.
249
00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:10,512
She's probably just some
girl from Bumble [ bleep ],
Iowa.
250
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:13,254
Uh, it's Bumblefork.Whatever. Don't correct me.
251
00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:16,997
Anyway, I will totally
exploit this Alice girl.
252
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,433
Fantastic. Yeah.
253
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:22,829
That is great news.
Uh, but what about
your daughter?
254
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:24,656
The other Allison?
255
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,876
Let's just
forget about her.
256
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:34,362
These are
the photos from Reed.ALICE : Fat.
257
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,581
Fat. F.U.P.A.
258
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:38,279
Fat.
259
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:39,846
Bloated earlobe.
260
00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:41,499
Melon groove.
261
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:44,154
Look at these rolls
of fat on my side here.
262
00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:45,852
Those are ribs.
263
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:47,505
Are these really
all of them?
264
00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:49,681
I think you look
super-duper skinny in these.
265
00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:51,422
Well, compared
to you, maybe.
266
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:55,078
You're like one big
human carbohydrate.
267
00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:58,038
Hey. I happen
to love my body for
what it is, okay?
268
00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,779
Well, aren't
you lucky?
Yes.
269
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:04,000
What the hell?
270
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:06,350
Roofie? Are those
kitty cats on
your underwear?
271
00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:09,440
Yo, what the hell?
I thought you was dealin'
with the haunting.
272
00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:13,270
I tried, I tried.
There is just no pleasing
this ghost.
273
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:15,272
She has got
major body issues.
274
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:17,492
She doesn't even have
a body anymore.
275
00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:18,972
Look, please
don't let me down, man.
276
00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:21,409
N'cole got some melon grooves
a dude could get lost in.
277
00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:24,107
I wanna help you
with that, but I can't.
278
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:25,239
Please finish this,
all right?
279
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:27,589
Yeah, okay.
280
00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:28,590
Uhh.
281
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:31,767
[ sobbing ]
282
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:32,986
Hey, hey, hey.
283
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:35,075
Hey, girl.
284
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:39,296
Listen, I was thinking
we could take those pictures
285
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:42,256
and Photoshop them to make
you look as skinny as you want.
286
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:44,388
No, that would be cheating.
287
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:47,957
Those photos are supposed
to show my hard work
and dedication to--
288
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:51,178
Oh, my God.
I'm such an idiot.
289
00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:53,006
Wait. Okay, those
photos from the boat,
290
00:13:53,049 --> 00:13:55,225
those were taken
before my tapeworm diet.
291
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:56,487
Before your what?
292
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:57,880
A few weeks after
the photo-bang,
293
00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:00,709
I went down to Mexico and
ingested a tapeworm.
294
00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:03,320
For months, I could eat
whatever I wanted
and still lose weight.
295
00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:06,367
I paid a pretty peso for it,
but it was totally worth it,
296
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:08,630
until it finally
killed me.
Yeah.
297
00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:11,024
Someone should probably put
a warning on those things.
298
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:12,460
I know.
Anyway,
299
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:14,027
what are you
telling me this for?
300
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:15,637
Don't you see?
301
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,552
Before I died,
I was at my ideal
body weight,
302
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:19,597
but I don't have
any pictures of it.
303
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,295
Not even a little selfie?
304
00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:23,732
No, I was too weak
to lift the camera.
305
00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:27,736
Okay. I'm not gonna go
dig up your corpse
306
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:30,260
and take creepy
pictures of it.
307
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:32,480
No, of course not.Okay, good because--
308
00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:33,655
Those pictures
should be sexy.
309
00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,831
Yes. A--
Wait, what?
310
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,094
Sexy, but tasteful.
311
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:39,966
Oh.
312
00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:47,887
ROOFIE:
The things we do for p'chenk.
313
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,714
KEVIN:
Oh, the things
you do for p'chenk.
314
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:52,021
I'm doing this for
ill-fitting women's clothing.
315
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:53,936
From last season,
no less.
316
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,417
What happened to the advice
about the principle?
317
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:57,853
Never going out of your way
to impress a femmie?
318
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,769
We're about to dig up a grave
so you can get laid.
319
00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:03,641
ROOFIE: The principle applies,
okay? It's just complicated.
320
00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:06,818
You gotta get a girl
to a tipping point, right?
321
00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:09,256
And you gotta do whatever
to push her over the edge.
322
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:10,953
You sound like a real
Reed Kelly right now.
323
00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:13,564
Reed Kelly?You're exploitering me.
324
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,001
What?
You think I wanna be here?
325
00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,872
What? Oh, I don't know.
You tell me, exploiterer.
326
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,308
Let's just get
this over with.
327
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:19,919
Yeah.
This place gives me
the willies.
328
00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:26,664
ROOFIE: Yo, man,
I'm freaked out, man.
329
00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:28,275
I'm, like, wondering
what's under here,
330
00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:30,581
like is a model dead
chick just gonna pop up
331
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:31,713
like "Tales from the Crypt"?
Like--
332
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:33,628
[ cackles ]
333
00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:36,022
What? No. She's only
been dead for two weeks.
334
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:39,634
A properly embalmed body
takes months to decompose.
335
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:41,201
How do you
even know that?
336
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:44,769
Because, Roofie,
I know some stuff
about some stuff, okay?
337
00:15:44,813 --> 00:15:47,990
I don't ask you how much a
quarter pound of weed weighs.
338
00:15:49,731 --> 00:15:52,516
[ shovel hits casket ]Look. This is it.
339
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:05,790
Okay.
340
00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:09,098
Good. You ready?
Yeah.
341
00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:10,752
All right,
on the count of 30.
342
00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:12,406
One...
343
00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,016
two...
Come on, man.
344
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,497
What?
All right, okay.
345
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,542
[ both gasp ]
346
00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:20,675
She looks like
a damn corpse.
Beautiful.
347
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:25,636
She was a handsome lady.
348
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,552
So, what should I do?
Should I, like, try
and make her smile?
349
00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:30,598
No, give her the duck lips
like everybody got on.
350
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:33,470
Oh. Oh, good.
Good call.
351
00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:35,995
ROOFIE: Ooh.
352
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:38,301
Aw, nuts, I think
I broke her jaw.
Oh!
353
00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:40,042
What's the matter with you?I don't know.
354
00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:43,306
My weight just shifted.
I-- Let me see if I can fix it.
355
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:46,222
Oh, no, it's okay.
Dislocation.Just fix it, fix it.
356
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:48,224
All right. I got it.
357
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:51,358
There we go.
358
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:52,837
What is that?
359
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:55,623
[ hissing ][ both screaming ]
360
00:16:57,842 --> 00:17:00,019
Goddamn it.
361
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,803
Oh, my God.
Kill it, kill it, kill it!
362
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,893
Die!
Kill it! Kill it!
363
00:17:04,935 --> 00:17:07,069
Oh, it's the Mexican
tapeworm from the diet.
364
00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:09,767
It's Medusa's cousin.
365
00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:11,856
Okay, get the picture,
get the picture.
366
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:15,208
Oh, God, it's so gross.I'm gonna get the picture.
367
00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:17,732
[ both screaming ]
368
00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:19,125
KEVIN:
Did you get it?
Did you get it?
369
00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:21,083
ROOFIE: I got it.
KEVIN: Oh, good.
370
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,693
ALICE:
You're kidding me, right?
371
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:26,045
What do you mean?
You look so thin.
372
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:28,830
Yo, what's she saying?Hold on.
373
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,658
Look at my hair
and make-up in these.
374
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:32,747
I mean, what, was
I styled by a mortician?
375
00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:34,618
Well, yeah.Not to mention
376
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:37,230
I'm not wearing United States
of Apparel in these.
377
00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:38,448
They'll never put them up
on the wall.
378
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,276
That was the whole point
of this, remember?
379
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,191
I do, I do.
380
00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:46,717
She's upset about the hair and
makeup and clothing choices.
381
00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:49,720
So she want us to go
back to the cemetery,
re-exhume her,
382
00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:52,201
and go all Extreme Makeover
on her ass?
383
00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:53,942
[ both laugh ]
384
00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:56,771
Wait, wait, wait.
That's actually
a good idea.
385
00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:58,512
Huh?A makeover?
386
00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:00,035
ROOFIE: Wait, what?
387
00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:11,916
[ inaudible dialogue ]
388
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:47,691
I don't know.You don't know?
389
00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:49,780
What don't you know?GIRL: Mommy, look.
390
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:52,392
I wanna look just like that
girl when I grow up.
391
00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:56,918
Did you hear that little girl?
392
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,920
What, the one that wants
to grow up and look like a
393
00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:00,791
malnourished corpse?
Yeah, I heard her.
394
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:04,186
My whole life, I've been
taught by magazines and movies
395
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:07,320
that being thin was what made me
worth anything.
396
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:10,975
That girl might develop an
eating disorder because of me.
397
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:12,934
It's me.
I'm part of the problem.
398
00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:14,849
Which means...
399
00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,982
that I'm finally
a real model.
400
00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:20,115
[ Alice laughs ]
401
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:23,249
Yeah, that's it,
that's what that means.
402
00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:24,859
Oh, yes.
Oh, yeah.
403
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:31,039
Yes.
That's how you do it.
404
00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:33,084
Now I can roll around and--N'COLE: Hey!
405
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:37,001
What the hell's
all of this?
406
00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:39,265
Another ghost case solved,
honey melon.
407
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,831
It was easy.
All we had to do
408
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:42,485
was convince Reed Kelly
to put up these photos.
409
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:45,096
Yeah, and he put it
up over mine.
410
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:47,186
We through, Roofie.
And you,
411
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,013
you're not getting
that leftover merchandise.
412
00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:51,625
Oh, come on.
Damn it.
413
00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:53,061
This is...
414
00:19:53,104 --> 00:19:54,932
I thought you didn't want
the merchandise anyway.
415
00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:57,544
I didn't want the merchandise.
But now that I can't have it,
416
00:19:57,587 --> 00:19:59,110
all I can
think about is the...
417
00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:00,895
The principle.
See?
418
00:20:00,938 --> 00:20:02,157
It does play.
See?
419
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,465
I get it now.
Crystal clear.Crystal clear.
420
00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:07,162
Gotta give
you credit, man.
Hey.
421
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,252
Does kind of suck we didn't
get anything from today though.
422
00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:14,038
Hm. I mean, we got to--
The facial was good.
423
00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:15,866
The makeover thing,
that was kind of cool.
424
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:18,086
The cucumbers and...
425
00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:20,480
Uh, the baseball game
was pretty good.
426
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:22,133
What day are you
talking about?
427
00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:23,613
Oh. Never mind.
428
00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:24,875
That's from another day.
You're talking about today.
429
00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:26,181
Today.
Today was good.
Yeah.
430
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,792
Let's get manis and pedis.Yeah, I'm starving.
431
00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:34,972
I wonder if I
have body issues.
432
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:37,148
I don't think so.
433
00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:40,587
You definitely have body
issues, little buddy.
434
00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:41,892
[ laughs ]
435
00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:44,852
Look at you,
you got such a weird
body.
436
00:20:44,895 --> 00:20:47,637
Well, I think maybe we should do
a little acid
437
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:51,032
and reward ourselves for a
job well done. I think so.
438
00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:54,122
Down the hatch. Ohh.
439
00:20:57,952 --> 00:21:00,084
Hey, excuse me, Holmes?
440
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,439
Oh, come on.
What are you?
441
00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:08,092
The ghost of the tapeworm?
442
00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:10,007
Well, I'm out of here.Come on, man.
443
00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:13,097
I'm just trying to get home to
see mi familia in Mexico.
444
00:21:13,141 --> 00:21:15,622
No, no,
I'm not dealing with this.
445
00:21:15,665 --> 00:21:17,406
I got a head full of acid.
446
00:21:17,450 --> 00:21:19,626
Oh, come on, man,
I can pay you.
447
00:21:19,669 --> 00:21:21,323
I can pay you real good.
448
00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:24,021
Oh.Let's go, man.
449
00:21:24,065 --> 00:21:25,980
I can't move on till I know
they're okay.
450
00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:28,678
Come on, Cholo. Arriba.
451
00:21:37,383 --> 00:21:39,994
[ ghost speaking Spanish ]
452
00:21:43,127 --> 00:21:45,042
[ cries ]
453
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,265
[ ghost speaking Spanish ]
454
00:21:58,578 --> 00:22:00,449
Aah!
33989
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