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1
00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,504
‐[rock music playing]
‐Vanessa’s gonna
be there tonight.
2
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:07,507
‐No way.
‐Heard it in the cafeteria.
Her friend goes, "So,
3
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:11,261
are you gonna go to
Hunnecker’s party Saturday night
down by the lake?"
4
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,055
And she goes, "Duh."
5
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:15,474
Well, "duh" can mean anything.
6
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,518
I mean, it could mean,
"Obviously I’m going
to Hunnecker’s party."
7
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:20,479
And Vanessa Oliver, duh.
8
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:23,023
And "no way would I
go to that party, duh."
9
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,235
This is Hunnecker’s party.
Nobody would go "duh"
if they weren’t gonna go.
10
00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,237
They have some
major explaining to do.
11
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,447
Anyway, it’s not
like we’re invited.
12
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,450
Nobody gets invited
to Hunnecker’s parties.
He’s a star.
13
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,661
I bet Vanessa’s
not even invited.
14
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,996
I heard that
last Hunnecker’s party,
15
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:41,250
everyone tore out their clothes,
went skinny dipping
underneath the stars.
16
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,794
[sighs] The man is a god.
17
00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:45,087
Yeah.
18
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,798
Could be kind of
awesome, I guess.
19
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,675
Think about it.
20
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:53,553
Lattimore’s got his license,
it’s Saturday night.
21
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,138
And for the first time ever...
22
00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:58,141
we have a car.
23
00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:00,644
Tonight... we are men!
24
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,229
Moron!
25
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:05,399
But seriously, O’Dell,
Saturday night!
26
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,776
Anything is possible tonight.
27
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,987
[car horn honking]
28
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,655
[all] Party!
29
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:14,866
[theme music playing]
30
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:11,757
[theme music ends]
31
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:17,679
[all yelling repeatedly] Party!
32
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:22,684
[yelling continues]
33
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,519
[door slams]
34
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:26,730
Well, they’re teenagers.
35
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,857
We were teenagers once, hmm?
36
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:31,610
‐[scoffs]
‐We remember what
it’s like on Saturday night.
37
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,737
That’s what I’m worried about.
38
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:36,656
How did this happen?
39
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:39,659
How did he get to be
an almost grown‐up?
40
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:43,830
In two years, he’ll be out
of the house, and pretty soon,
Zach will be gone.
41
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,209
‐The dog will die.
‐And we’ll starve.
[chuckles]
42
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:51,713
I just mean pretty soon
it’ll be just us
all alone in the house.
43
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,548
‐[sighs]
‐Is that the end?
44
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,675
No. No, it’s great.
45
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:56,927
It’ll be just like tonight.
46
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,097
Zach out at a slumber party.
47
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,723
Uh, Matthew out taking drugs
48
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,309
and having sex with
anything that moves.
49
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:05,644
[chuckles]
50
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,649
[sighs] Saturday night.
51
00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:13,568
All alone in our
house together.
52
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:18,073
What have you
got in mind?
53
00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:24,788
‐Party.
‐[Jill chuckles]
54
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,373
[car horn honking]
55
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,334
["The Heart of Saturday Night"
by Tom Waits playing]
56
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,962
♪ Behind the wheel ♪
57
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,464
♪ With your arm
Around your sweet one ♪
58
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,842
♪ In your Oldsmobile ♪
59
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:40,178
♪ Barreling down
The boulevard ♪
60
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:44,182
♪ You’re looking for
The heart of Saturday night ♪
61
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,646
Just another Saturday night.
62
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,983
‐Yeah, and I ain’t got nobody.
‐Oh, this is
absolutely ridiculous!
63
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:55,819
Come on, let me out of here.
I am entitled to that!
64
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,821
Stolen goods.
The store owner’s
got it on video.
65
00:03:57,821 --> 00:04:00,824
Oh, give me a break.
It’s Saturday night! Aw.
66
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:04,453
"Gentle, relaxing, soothes
stimulant problem area."
67
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,955
‐She stole that?
‐Problem areas?
68
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,332
All right, fine,
I couldn’t get a date.
Is that a crime?
69
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,710
‐No, I don’t think
that’s a crime.
‐Hold her over for the night.
70
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:14,504
‐Wait. I can’t even bring it in?
‐At least you have
a roof over your head.
71
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:17,090
‐What am I supposed
to do all night? Aw.
‐[shushing] Enough already.
72
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,468
Oh, man.
73
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:23,722
[sighs] She was over at
Cupid’s Playpen.
You know, the sex shop on 41?
74
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:26,558
‐Uh‐uh. [sighs]
‐So you’re working tonight.
75
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,643
Just finishing
my monthly summary.
76
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,730
I’m filling in for Carlston,
trying to get some overtime.
77
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:36,067
So, what, uh... You got a date?
78
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:38,528
Not my business.
79
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:41,114
♪ And you got paid on Friday ♪
80
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,575
♪ And your pockets
Are jingling ♪
81
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:46,495
♪ And you see the lights ♪
‐[all laughing]
82
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:51,625
♪ You get all tingling ’cause
You’re cruising with a six ♪
83
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:56,171
♪ And you’re looking for
The heart of Saturday night ♪
84
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,258
♪ Then you comb your hair ♪
85
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,721
♪ Shave your face ♪
86
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:09,184
♪ Trying to wipe out
Every trace ♪
87
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:12,103
♪ Of all the other days ♪
88
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:16,733
♪ In the week, you know
That this’ll be the Saturday ♪
89
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,693
‐♪ You’re reaching your peak ♪
‐[yelling continues]
90
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,071
♪ Stopping on the red ♪
91
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,574
♪ You’re going on the green ♪
92
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:27,452
♪ ’Cause tonight’ll
Be like nothing ♪
93
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,412
♪ You’ve ever seen ♪
‐Hey, come out with us.
94
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:32,707
♪ And you’re barreling
Down the boulevard ♪
95
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:36,169
♪ Looking for the heart
Of Saturday night ♪
96
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,548
[yelling, shouting continues]
97
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,967
[Tom Waits humming]
98
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:51,184
I guess this is what it
comes down to
for some people.
99
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,104
I mean, it’s kind of a...
a device or a thing
100
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:57,524
like a blender
or a coffee maker.
101
00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:02,153
Oh, yeah, but name me
one guy who can go on
16 hours without recharging.
102
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,161
Okay.
103
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:13,373
[woman, on TV]
And lifting and lifting and...
104
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:17,168
What the hell is this?
It’s supposed to be Die Hard 2.
105
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,546
Welcome to Bun Blasters.
106
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:22,173
‐ The exercise video
for the tinies.
‐ Look at those bodies.
107
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:24,426
And go! And loose!
108
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:27,637
Buttocks tucked,
tummy’s flexed,
and one.
109
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,556
Who are these people?
110
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,308
Let’s go pig out. [sighs]
111
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,518
One and squeeze.
112
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:36,688
‐And up, and squeeze,
and separate, and‐‐
‐[remote clicks]
113
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:43,236
You’re avoiding responsibility
on your own life, Derek, by
simply saying you’re miserable,
114
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:47,198
and not admitting that
you married a sick,
verbally abusive woman
115
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:50,452
in a desperate attempt to
escape your own loneliness.
116
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:54,706
Okay, shape up. Next up
we’ve got Karen.
Karen, you’re on the air.
117
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:57,500
‐Ask Dr. Joey.
‐[Karen] Uh, hi, Dr. Joey.
118
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,252
Uh, a couple of months ago,
I got a boob job,
119
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,796
and my boyfriend
used to love them.
120
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:04,257
But now, he think they
might be migrating
and it’s a real turn‐off.
121
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,760
[Dr. Joey] Migrating where?
They up around your neck?
122
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,095
[Karen] No. He thinks
that the right one’s
too far to the left.
123
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,806
[Dr. Joey]
Let me get this straight,
two boobs on the left.
124
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,350
[clock ticking]
125
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,360
[clicks tongue] I’m out.
126
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,155
I’ll raise you.
127
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,492
[mumbles]
128
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:31,785
I’ll stay.
129
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,037
George?
130
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,540
‐[chuckles] George?
‐[mumbles]
131
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,459
‐George.
‐Huh?
132
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,588
Uh... I’m out.
133
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,757
‐[laughs]
‐The aces are higher,
am I correct?
134
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,926
[continues laughing]
135
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:50,470
I’m a little rusty, is all.
136
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,889
First he doesn’t wanna come.
137
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:57,060
Oh, no, he’s got better things
to do than hang out
with, and I quote,
138
00:07:57,060 --> 00:08:01,690
"a bunch of depressing,
geriatric cases on
a Saturday night."
139
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:04,901
He’s gonna go
on a date. [laughs]
140
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,028
‐Then he can’t get a date.
‐[all laugh]
141
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,489
You’re interrupting
my concentration.
142
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,741
[whimpers]
143
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,370
[humming]
144
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,789
[Wambaugh starts
singing out of tune]
145
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:20,792
For the love of Mike,
no wonder she left you!
146
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,544
Lighten up, Mort. Doug, Doug,
147
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,754
‐for God’s sake.
‐I rattled.
148
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,715
He deeply rattled me.
149
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:31,761
I call.
150
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:40,770
A full house!
151
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,523
Well, look at that.
152
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,109
I win.
153
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:48,445
I win. [laughs]
154
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,073
I win! [cackles]
155
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,492
Robert, we all pass gas.
156
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,746
It’s just that sometimes,
we pass it along
at the wrong time.
157
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:02,292
Now, I’m sure Karen will go out
with you again, but you never
know until you ask. Right?
158
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:04,919
Here, and a little bit
of advice, next time,
159
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,963
don’t go Mexican.
160
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:10,717
Okay, next up we’ve got
Virginia from Rome, Wisconsin.
161
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:14,679
Virginia, you’re on the air.
This is Dr. Joey,
what’s your problem?
162
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,973
Uh... well, it’s not a problem,
163
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,601
‐it’s a question.
‐Shoot.
164
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:23,104
‐Vibrators.
‐ Love ’em, use ’em,
recommend ’em. Anything else?
165
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,816
Well, you don’t think
they’re addictive?
166
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,652
I mean, I have this friend
167
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,404
that... that bought one,
168
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,948
and she practically has
no use for men anymore.
169
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,992
Uh, I mean, she doesn’t
even need to leave the house.
170
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,952
[Dr. Joey laughs]
171
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:41,039
Well, anything used to excess
can be a problem, but...
172
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:45,126
short of that, I don’t see
anything wrong with a little
sexual aid now and then.
173
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:47,796
It isn’t a...
174
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,716
A what? A sin?
175
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,303
‐Yeah.
‐ No, Virginia.
176
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:58,932
You will not go blind,
nor will you grow hair
on your palms.
177
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,769
It’s... [sighs] You know what?
I will tell you what
the real sin is, honey.
178
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:06,731
It’s hitting the sheets with
some hairy behemoth just to
get a little hormonal release.
179
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,692
Trust me, I’ve got the
divorce papers to prove it.
180
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:13,863
‐Well...
‐ Girlfriend, you feeling
a little lonely tonight,
181
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,615
that’s okay.
182
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,992
Just pour yourself
a glass of wine,
183
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,244
take a bubble bath.
184
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,538
Treat yourself right.
185
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:24,207
Just don’t take any
electrical appliances
into the water with you!
186
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:26,000
[imitates electrocution, laughs]
187
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,002
It’s Dr. Joey,
you’re on the air.
188
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,463
[man] Dr. Joey, are there
any poisons that are...
189
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:35,176
Oh... you lying son of a bitch.
190
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:40,431
I’m out! [grumbles]
191
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:41,641
Any more takers?
192
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:43,935
George?
193
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,439
‐[Mort] George?
‐[Wambaugh] George.
194
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,024
‐George.
‐[splatters]
195
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,361
[Judge Bone] George?
196
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:55,905
George?
197
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:03,204
I guess we can assume he’s out.
198
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:15,592
‐[all continue shouting] Party!
‐[whooping]
199
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,385
[indistinct police chatter
over radio]
200
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:20,471
One minute he was alive,
and the next
he was in a bean dip.
201
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,348
Guys his age, it doesn’t
take much sometimes.
202
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,058
I don’t know, he was
just playing poker.
203
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:27,020
Who do we notify?
Has he got a wife?
204
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,314
Silvia’s dead since March.
205
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:32,901
He’s got a nephew
up in Ellison Bay,
name of Enda.
206
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,861
He was a good man.
207
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:38,489
‐And he played a good game.
‐Let’s not get carried away.
208
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:41,367
‐I won the hand.
‐For God’s sake, Doug,
the man is dead.
209
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,870
Be that as it may,
he lost a hand.
210
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,164
The big hand of the night, $150.
211
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,333
I don’t want to mention it,
but what am I supposed to do?
212
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:51,502
Pretend that he won
to spare his feelings?
213
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:55,256
He doesn’t
have any feelings.
He’s a corpse.
214
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,216
I hate it when they got nobody.
215
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,265
Look at the shine
on those shoes.
216
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,601
‐Like a mirror.
‐[officer] Coming through.
217
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:08,937
He always kept ’em that way.
218
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,397
It was a value
of his. [sniffles]
219
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,067
["Love Is a Many
Splendored Thing"
by Matt Monro playing]
220
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,986
♪ Love ♪
221
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:22,909
♪ Is a many splendored thing ♪
222
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,829
♪ It’s the April rose ♪
223
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,123
♪ That only grows ♪
224
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:32,043
♪ In the early spring ♪
225
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:36,839
♪ Love is nature’s way ♪
226
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,299
♪ Of giving ♪
227
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:43,471
♪ A reason to be living... ♪
228
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:46,307
‐You need
batteries with that?
‐No.
229
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:49,978
How about a video? I got
them on special, half price.
230
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,771
No, I’ll just take that.
231
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,941
Look, you got your thing here,
that takes care of the physical.
232
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:57,068
And you got
your emotional, mental,
233
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:59,112
your fantasy, what have you?
234
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,197
That’s why we call it
a total package.
235
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:09,163
"Julie feels trapped
in a lonely life
of an accountant
236
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:12,542
until she goes
to Fiji and meets
the well‐oiled Derrick."
237
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,794
It’s not hardcore
or anything like that.
[sniffles]
238
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,131
The emphasis is more
on romance. It’s what
the ladies like, romance.
239
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,135
I’ll just take that.
240
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,808
[kids laughing]
241
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:32,020
‐Maybe this is the party.
‐I think the other thing
was the party.
242
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:35,064
That wasn’t a party.
Those girls were, like, 12.
243
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:39,569
[chuckling] It was
the water tower. Maybe just
no one was there yet.
244
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:43,156
Great. Sucked to have
been there and not even know
we were there.
245
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,783
Maybe we should ask them.
246
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,882
Is that the Big Dipper?
247
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,259
[all groaning]
248
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,720
‐[Zach] Great job, partner.
‐Brilliant.
249
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:08,765
[sighs]
250
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:11,267
‐You go, Brock.
‐Okay.
251
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,311
You’ll get the job done.
252
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:15,563
Hey, guys...
253
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,066
is this the party?
254
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,318
I don’t think so.
255
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,571
Hey, you wanna lay a patch?
256
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:26,824
Skid out the tires?
My mom will kill me.
257
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:30,411
Hey, aren’t you Brock?
You play JV hockey, right?
258
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:33,081
Yeah, we saw you play
last week against Portridge.
259
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:37,085
‐Nice goal.
‐[stutters] The goalie
was half asleep.
260
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,586
You’re Platt, right? Varsity?
261
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:42,131
Yeah, so this sucks.
262
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,092
This whole town.
263
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,052
It just sucks.
264
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,720
It’s so dead,
it’s like, embarrassing.
265
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,431
One more year and I’m
out of here forever.
266
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:56,145
So we’re gonna go to
this party at Hunnecker’s.
267
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:58,314
You wanna come?
268
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,817
What, to his house?
To Hunnecker’s house?
269
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:07,949
No, that’s okay. I’m just
gonna hang out with my friends.
270
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:11,828
To tell you the truth, Brock,
I promised my mom I’ll have
the car back by 10:00.
271
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:14,080
Yeah, and I’m grounded.
272
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,290
I’d be into going
to Hunnecker’s.
273
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:19,127
Come on, partner,
I’ve got nudes and limbo
on tape at home.
274
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:20,294
No way.
275
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,548
Freshman.
276
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:28,970
‐Big Dipper? Come on!
‐It was the Big Dipper.
277
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:32,932
["You Make Me Feel So Young"
playing]
278
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,519
♪ You make me feel so young ♪
279
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:40,398
♪ You make me feel
As though spring has sprung ♪
280
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:43,734
♪ And every time
I see you grin ♪
281
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:46,404
♪ I’m such a happy ♪
282
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,197
♪ Individual ♪
283
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,825
♪ The moment that you speak... ♪
284
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,952
[scoffs]
285
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,830
One battery. Who has
only one battery?
286
00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:00,501
I have been waiting for
an hour and a half
287
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,920
for this delivery.
Double cheese,
288
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,506
onion, sausage!
289
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:10,386
B‐R‐O‐C‐K.
290
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,222
Brock. Sheriff Brock!
291
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,727
[sighs]
292
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,812
Some Saturday night, huh?
293
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,273
No video, no pizza, bravo!
294
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,901
‐Well, I’m starved.
‐Peanut butter?
295
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,402
[chuckles] No, thanks.
296
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,656
Do you remember how
we used to always do this?
297
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,325
Just stay in and pig out.
298
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:36,537
‐♪ A long time ago ♪
‐Hmm. Hmm.
299
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:40,750
Oh, do you remember that time
that we were supposed to go
to that party?
300
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:43,586
And got all dressed up,
we headed to the door and...
301
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,671
‐Oh, yeah, yeah.
‐I don’t know, somehow,
just...
302
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,883
‐[both laugh]
‐You were wearing that, uh...
303
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,427
that perfume.
304
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,888
‐[chuckles]
‐Ah, yes, White Shoulder.
305
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,973
[laughs]
306
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,184
God, that was romantic!
307
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:01,270
[giggles]
308
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,189
‐Eight times.
‐[chuckles] No!
309
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:08,027
No, it was three times.
310
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,904
But every one was incredible.
311
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:12,448
Hmm.
312
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,158
‐Maybe six?
‐No.
313
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:16,953
We did it in every room
in that house, I remember.
314
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,872
‐Although, it was
a much smaller house.
‐[both chuckle]
315
00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:26,587
[both chuckling]
316
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,051
‐[upbeat music playing]
‐I thought you were the pizza.
317
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,219
Yeah.
318
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,518
So where’s Hunnecker?
319
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:43,104
[girl] He’s all
upset about Tina.
320
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:46,983
She was bored, so she
took off with her friends
to O’Cally’s.
321
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,526
She does that a lot.
322
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,447
There he is.
323
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,825
Wanna meet him?
324
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:58,494
‐No. No, that’s okay.
If he’s upset or‐‐
‐He’d like to meet you, come on.
325
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,664
[Platt] So Pete...
326
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,794
‐so this, uh, Brock.
‐Hey.
327
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,587
Hey!
328
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:12,133
‐Great party.
‐Is it a party?
329
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:15,344
So I, uh, I think I saw you
playing against Portridge.
330
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,221
That was a great goal.
331
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:20,433
And you were fast out there,
man. The move you made. That...
332
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,977
You deked them, man.
That was key.
333
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:26,355
I got that from watching you.
I must’ve seen
every game your played.
334
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:27,857
You were the absolute greatest!
335
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,775
[sighs]
336
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:35,239
‐I’m gonna go get her.
‐She’s gonna come back.
337
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,575
O’Cally is just so lame.
338
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:40,786
‐I hate it. Why does she
keep going there?
‐Don’t go, Pete.
339
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,039
I mean, come on, man,
think about your image.
340
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,165
Send him.
341
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,546
Yeah. Yeah, sure,
I‐I can go.
342
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:53,716
O’Cally’s, right?
I’ll get her.
343
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,676
You know Tina?
344
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,471
I remember her from when
you guys were in high school.
345
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:03,309
[sighs]
346
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,435
Well...
347
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,814
Yeah, well, don’t make her
come home or anything.
348
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,067
I mean, don’t tell her
I want her to.
349
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,652
You know, just see if
you can get her to come.
350
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:18,783
You got wheels? Here.
351
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,951
It’s the big old truck
in the driveway.
352
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:24,872
[whispers]
Go.
353
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,794
[romantic music playing]
354
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,131
[Jimmy moans]
355
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:36,550
[clattering]
356
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:39,261
[talking indistinctly]
357
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,472
[Jill] Wait a minute.
‐Oh.
358
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,682
[Jill] Oh, boy.
Oh, boy, come on.
359
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:48,562
[both groaning]
360
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,231
Was the floor always this hard?
361
00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:52,525
[Jimmy] Oh, let’s just
try it out. [chuckles]
362
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,402
[both moaning]
363
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,820
‐[car brakes squeal]
‐[both gasp]
364
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:58,072
‐Oh, my God.
‐Is that a car?
365
00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:00,574
‐Is that a car?
‐Matthew’s home this early?
366
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,410
[car doors shut]
367
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:03,744
‐[muttering]
‐Oh, boy.
368
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,538
‐[Jimmy screams]
‐Oh! Oh.
369
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,000
‐Oh, Jimmy.
‐[Jimmy groans]
370
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,801
I got an idea.
371
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:22,555
We’ll take the $150
and do up the town.
372
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,558
Doug... please.
373
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,894
‐Everybody’s gone home.
‐It’s only 10:30.
374
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,896
For God’s sake!
375
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,442
George is dead.
376
00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:37,236
He was a friend of mine.
377
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,281
Last week, he was
right there where
you’re standing.
378
00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:43,451
He was arguing with me
about what you eat
on a Vienna dog.
379
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:46,370
You’ll have it
on a poppy bun, grilled onions,
380
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,414
mustard, what’s to argue?
381
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:52,001
‐He said ketchup!
‐Oh, nobody has ketchup
on a Vienna dog.
382
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:55,880
‐You don’t have ketchup
on a Vienna dog!
‐Well, George did!
383
00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:01,302
Don’t you understand what
this is all about?
384
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:03,304
So, what am I supposed to do?
385
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,890
Fold up my tent and die too?
386
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,933
I know what it’s all about.
387
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:11,145
And on the day they carry me
out on that stretcher,
388
00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:14,064
I hope you have the guts
to grab the money
389
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,858
and make the night
something they’ll talk about
390
00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:18,527
in Rome, Wisconsin
for a 100 years
391
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:20,738
because I don’t intend
to go easy.
392
00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:23,491
Henry...
393
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:25,284
damn it, I’m still alive!
394
00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:35,753
I have to be home by midnight.
395
00:21:35,753 --> 00:21:38,255
I have medication to take.
396
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,470
Come on.
397
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:47,181
We’ll show those townies
how the big boys live.
398
00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:51,810
‐["I’m Gonna Live Forever"
by Irene Cara playing]
‐[all] Hey!
399
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:54,438
♪ I’m gonna live forever ♪
400
00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:56,524
♪ Baby, remember my name ♪
401
00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:58,275
[all]
♪ Remember, remember ♪
402
00:21:58,275 --> 00:22:00,611
♪ Remember, remember ♪
403
00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:03,781
♪ Baby, you look at me ♪
404
00:22:03,781 --> 00:22:06,992
♪ And tell me what you see ♪
405
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:10,454
♪ You ain’t seen
The best of me yet ♪
406
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:15,376
♪ Give me time, I’ll make you
Forget the rest ♪
407
00:22:15,376 --> 00:22:18,671
♪ I got more in me ♪
408
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:21,507
♪ And you can set it free ♪
409
00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:24,593
♪ I can catch the moon
In my hand... ♪
410
00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,637
Are you Tina Hunnecker?
411
00:22:26,637 --> 00:22:29,473
I’m Matthew Brock.
I’m a friend of Pete’s.
412
00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:31,934
[chuckles]
What are you, like 12?
413
00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:35,813
‐He really wants you
to come home.
‐It’s my turn to sing next.
414
00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:39,316
Oh, I can wait, I guess.
415
00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:45,573
Forget it, it’s wrecked.
You wrecked the night.
416
00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:48,576
‐[all applauding]
‐[singer] Thank you.
Thank you.
417
00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:49,702
Thank you.
418
00:22:50,869 --> 00:22:52,037
Thank you. [giggles]
419
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:59,587
‐I would’ve waited
for you to sing.
‐Forget it, it doesn’t matter.
420
00:22:59,587 --> 00:23:02,256
I suck. Give me the keys.
421
00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:04,091
I can’t believe
I’m going back there.
422
00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:06,802
All we do is sit around
on a Saturday night
423
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,929
watching the Shopping Channel,
you know?
424
00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:11,223
‐All this junk.
‐[engine cranking]
425
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:14,810
Just watches and dolls
and diamond engagement rings.
426
00:23:14,810 --> 00:23:17,062
Like, if you order them,
your house would be so crowded,
427
00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:19,273
and you won’t even notice
you actually have a life.
428
00:23:19,273 --> 00:23:21,817
And it’s high school kids
he hangs around with.
429
00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:24,194
Stupid truck! Come on!
430
00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:26,530
‐Like they’re even real.
‐[engine continues stalling]
431
00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,032
The engagement ring.
432
00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:30,367
What’d you do
to this truck anyway?
433
00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:31,493
Nothing.
434
00:23:32,703 --> 00:23:34,538
I gotta heave now.
435
00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:38,751
[retches, coughs]
436
00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:43,839
[burps] Ugh!
437
00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:47,176
Ugh, I feel a ton better.
438
00:23:47,176 --> 00:23:50,095
You wanna go for a walk?
I don’t feel like
going home yet.
439
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:52,640
[stammers] Are you sure
you’re okay?
‐I’m fine,
440
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,017
I had a million beers,
that’s all.
441
00:23:55,017 --> 00:23:57,686
Oh... wait.
442
00:23:57,686 --> 00:23:59,480
[coughs, retches]
443
00:24:02,358 --> 00:24:03,901
Okay.
444
00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:05,027
Let’s go.
445
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:08,364
[groans]
446
00:24:08,364 --> 00:24:10,407
My shoe!
447
00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:15,204
I can’t believe
I barfed on my shoe.
That was $60 shoe!
448
00:24:15,204 --> 00:24:17,956
Oh, look at that. Look at
the workmanship on that shoe.
449
00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:20,542
It’s nice.
450
00:24:22,002 --> 00:24:23,128
Let’s go.
451
00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:28,926
‐[groaning]
‐Relax, Jimmy.
452
00:24:28,926 --> 00:24:31,136
‐At least we don’t
have to go to the ER.
‐I can’t believe...
453
00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:32,888
Will you just get it
out of my zipper?
454
00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:34,848
I’m gonna take the clamp,
and then with the forceps,
455
00:24:34,848 --> 00:24:36,308
I’m gonna tease the tissue back.
456
00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,435
And then with
the surgical scissors,
457
00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:41,271
‐I’m gonna cut it off.
‐Oh, don’t you cut it.
458
00:24:41,271 --> 00:24:44,316
The zipper, Jimmy.
I meant the zipper.
I’m not gonna castrate you.
459
00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:48,612
‐[knocking on door, opens]
‐Anybody here
mention castration?
460
00:24:48,612 --> 00:24:51,990
‐Ah! Somebody got his
little guy caught in a jam!
‐[Jimmy] Excuse us.
461
00:24:51,990 --> 00:24:56,328
‐Get her out of here.
‐I can’t, Jimmy, I need a hand.
462
00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,789
[groovy music playing]
463
00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:04,545
She gave me a look.
464
00:25:04,545 --> 00:25:07,214
‐You’re out of your mind.
‐She shot me a look.
465
00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:10,134
You said that about the girl
in the hot dog stand too.
466
00:25:10,134 --> 00:25:14,304
That girl, it was
the way she asked me
how I like my dog.
467
00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:16,640
[mimicking] "How
do you like it?" Mm‐hmm.
468
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,436
She wasn’t talking about
a Kosher, Frank,
I could tell you that.
469
00:25:20,436 --> 00:25:25,107
‐[giggles, blows kiss]
‐That’s because she thinks
you’re out of your head.
470
00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:27,568
I wish they would let us
dip twice in the chocolate.
471
00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:29,862
I think people would pay extra.
472
00:25:29,862 --> 00:25:31,989
Well, Henry...
473
00:25:31,989 --> 00:25:35,159
‐are we doing
the town or what?
‐Sure, Doug.
474
00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:37,453
A hundred years
from now, they’ll
still be talking about it.
475
00:25:37,453 --> 00:25:38,579
Hmm.
476
00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:42,040
Can I ask you something?
477
00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:45,377
You ever miss Miriam?
478
00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:48,922
Nah, I don’t miss her.
479
00:25:50,966 --> 00:25:55,721
‐You were married to her.
‐But she never crosses my mind.
480
00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:58,182
Yeah, well, you were married
for a very long time.
481
00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:02,978
Yeah, I guess
it wouldn’t be sanitary
482
00:26:02,978 --> 00:26:04,897
to let you dip twice.
483
00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:12,780
You know, she left...
She left that powder.
484
00:26:12,780 --> 00:26:16,241
That, you know, that face powder
in the back of a drawer.
485
00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:19,787
[chuckles] Funny thing,
486
00:26:19,787 --> 00:26:23,248
people think that that stuff
could be odor‐free,
487
00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:24,541
but it isn’t.
488
00:26:25,876 --> 00:26:27,878
I...
489
00:26:27,878 --> 00:26:30,547
I miss the smell, I guess.
490
00:26:34,843 --> 00:26:36,553
But her, no. [sighs]
491
00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:43,811
I miss her sometimes. My wife.
492
00:26:43,811 --> 00:26:46,313
Yeah, well, that is different.
493
00:26:50,734 --> 00:26:53,529
[show host on TV] Which of
these young men will be
your love match tonight?
494
00:26:53,529 --> 00:26:56,532
‐Jason, RJ, or Brad?
‐Ooh, pick RJ, pick RJ.
495
00:26:56,532 --> 00:27:00,244
‐I like his hair.
Uh, can I get some ketchup?
‐Yeah, sure.
496
00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:03,497
Brad? Is she nuts?
497
00:27:03,497 --> 00:27:07,084
I wouldn’t go out with Brad if
he was the last man on Earth.
498
00:27:07,084 --> 00:27:10,254
You know, you’ll be
good on this show.
499
00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:12,923
‐You think so?
‐Mm, yeah.
you have a certain
500
00:27:12,923 --> 00:27:15,050
charm about you, you do.
501
00:27:16,885 --> 00:27:18,178
I’d go out with you.
502
00:27:22,933 --> 00:27:25,018
Are you really
a friend of Pete’s?
503
00:27:25,018 --> 00:27:27,563
I don’t really
know him that well.
504
00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:28,814
I’ve seen him play.
505
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:31,859
The great Pete Hunnecker.
506
00:27:31,859 --> 00:27:34,987
Yeah, he was the greatest.
507
00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:36,989
He hates it
when people say that.
508
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:38,824
He’s 21 years old, you know,
509
00:27:38,824 --> 00:27:41,326
and everyone acts like
his whole life’s behind him.
510
00:27:41,326 --> 00:27:44,121
‐Sorry.
‐It’s not your fault.
511
00:27:44,121 --> 00:27:47,249
He’s the guy who
wrecked his back
laying patch. [scoffs]
512
00:27:47,249 --> 00:27:50,460
Like, laying a skid mark
on 41 was gonna make him...
513
00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:52,713
I don’t know, part of Wisconsin
history or something.
514
00:27:52,713 --> 00:27:54,798
‐[scoffs]
‐That’s why he left Madison?
515
00:27:54,798 --> 00:27:56,967
‐He wrecked his back?
‐He couldn’t play
hockey anymore.
516
00:27:56,967 --> 00:28:00,012
They took away his scholarship
after the first year.
517
00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:02,639
So he came home and married you.
518
00:28:02,639 --> 00:28:04,975
Yeah, I’m the consolation prize.
519
00:28:04,975 --> 00:28:07,936
‐I’m sorry,
I didn’t mean it that way.
‐I know.
520
00:28:09,855 --> 00:28:11,773
Hey, maybe we would’ve
gotten married anyway.
521
00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:17,696
That Dr. Joey Diamond?
She says nothing
is accidental, you know?
522
00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:21,450
The way things turn out
is the way you secretly
want them to be in your heart.
523
00:28:23,493 --> 00:28:26,872
Yeah. Like Pete really wanted
to spend eight hours a day
524
00:28:26,872 --> 00:28:30,792
operating a machine
at the brewery that twists
the caps on beers.
525
00:28:30,792 --> 00:28:33,003
Is that what you do?
526
00:28:33,003 --> 00:28:37,049
No, I operate a machine
that strains the extra curds
out of cheese.
527
00:28:38,759 --> 00:28:39,968
What did you want to do?
528
00:28:41,428 --> 00:28:43,305
Sales.
529
00:28:43,305 --> 00:28:46,391
I was born for sales.
530
00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:48,226
I wanna be a sportscaster.
531
00:28:48,226 --> 00:28:51,271
I haven’t told my parents yet,
but it’s what I wanna do.
532
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:55,943
‐I just decided.
‐You can go anywhere
if you’re a sportscaster.
533
00:28:55,943 --> 00:28:59,613
I’ve been thinking about selling
those really little swimming
pools, you seen those?
534
00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:02,282
There’s resistance in the water,
you swim and swim like crazy.
535
00:29:02,282 --> 00:29:03,992
But you never
go anywhere, right?
536
00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:06,161
It’s the workout of the century.
537
00:29:06,161 --> 00:29:10,916
I just have to save up
enough money to quit
my job for six months.
538
00:29:10,916 --> 00:29:12,334
Is that hard to do?
539
00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:15,337
Not really.
540
00:29:15,337 --> 00:29:17,673
I figured it’ll only
take about 10 years
541
00:29:17,673 --> 00:29:20,425
and by then, of course,
I’ll have eight kids
and be totally in debt.
542
00:29:22,427 --> 00:29:24,805
I’m kidding.
Don’t look that way.
543
00:29:24,805 --> 00:29:27,099
You’re breaking my heart, kiddo.
544
00:29:28,725 --> 00:29:30,936
God, you’re sweet.
545
00:29:30,936 --> 00:29:32,646
Don’t worry,
I’ll get there someday.
546
00:29:37,067 --> 00:29:40,070
‐I bet all the girls love you.
‐[chuckles]
547
00:29:40,070 --> 00:29:41,488
Not exactly.
548
00:29:41,488 --> 00:29:43,907
I bet they do
and you just don’t know.
549
00:29:46,243 --> 00:29:48,036
It’s an intriguing thought.
550
00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:58,296
Andromeda...
551
00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:01,299
and over there,
that’s Cassiopeia.
552
00:30:01,299 --> 00:30:02,551
The Queen.
553
00:30:02,551 --> 00:30:04,094
She was extremely boastful.
554
00:30:04,094 --> 00:30:05,762
The other gods
couldn’t stand her.
555
00:30:05,762 --> 00:30:08,015
Legend has it,
Poseidon punished‐‐
556
00:30:08,015 --> 00:30:10,308
‐Carter?
‐Hmm?
557
00:30:10,308 --> 00:30:13,228
We’ve been looking at
the stars for a long time.
558
00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:16,940
You’re right.
559
00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:19,609
‐You’re right.
‐[chuckles]
560
00:30:26,783 --> 00:30:28,452
Hmm.
561
00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:38,211
What?
562
00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:39,838
Why won’t you kiss me?
563
00:30:41,423 --> 00:30:43,425
‐What’s wrong
with a good hug?
‐Nothing.
564
00:30:43,425 --> 00:30:46,094
Nothing, hugging is fine too,
Carter. It’s just that...
565
00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:50,348
we’ve been hugging for
three weeks now. Aren’t we
ready for some kissing?
566
00:30:52,059 --> 00:30:54,728
Why be hasty?
567
00:30:54,728 --> 00:30:57,606
Oh, it’s not that I have
anything against kissing.
Actually, it’s just that...
568
00:30:57,606 --> 00:30:58,857
[inhales sharply]
569
00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:01,109
Kissing. Whoa, it’s uh...
570
00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:05,489
so open to interpretation,
you know? I mean,
what is kissing? The...
571
00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:09,826
Is it lip‐to‐lip contact?
Or that whole
epiglottal thing? Um...
572
00:31:09,826 --> 00:31:13,455
‐Don’t you wanna kiss me?
‐Are you kidding?
573
00:31:17,459 --> 00:31:18,585
I just...
574
00:31:20,587 --> 00:31:24,174
And everything’s
been going so well. [sighs]
575
00:31:24,174 --> 00:31:25,300
And?
576
00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:28,845
I don’t want it to end.
577
00:31:29,971 --> 00:31:31,431
Well, why should it end?
578
00:31:32,682 --> 00:31:33,809
’Cause...
579
00:31:36,061 --> 00:31:37,562
Well...
580
00:31:37,562 --> 00:31:39,397
Kissing leads to
getting to know somebody,
581
00:31:39,397 --> 00:31:41,817
and when you really
get to know somebody...
582
00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:47,072
I’ve never had
anything last, so...
583
00:31:48,281 --> 00:31:50,200
Three weeks. That’s...
584
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,828
kind of a personal best for me.
585
00:31:52,828 --> 00:31:55,372
Frankly, I attribute it
to the hugging.
586
00:32:06,550 --> 00:32:08,176
Oh, so my glasses.
587
00:32:08,176 --> 00:32:10,178
‐It’s okay.
‐Careful. Your fingerprints.
588
00:32:10,178 --> 00:32:11,304
Okay.
589
00:32:13,849 --> 00:32:15,058
They’re fine.
590
00:32:21,106 --> 00:32:23,233
‐I forgot to breathe.
‐[chuckles]
591
00:32:26,153 --> 00:32:28,989
‐You okay?
‐I think so.
592
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:38,540
It’ll be very interesting
to see psychological
593
00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:40,542
‐ramifications of this.
‐[continues groaning]
594
00:32:40,542 --> 00:32:44,754
And the physical trauma
won’t last long,
but the emotional one...
595
00:32:44,754 --> 00:32:48,508
You can never underestimate
the romance of the American man
with his penis.
596
00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:51,887
‐Oh, Jill...
‐Just... Just
cut the zipper.
597
00:32:51,887 --> 00:32:56,391
He may feel betrayed
by his penis. He may even
get angry at his penis.
598
00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:59,186
[weakly] I’m not gonna be
angry at my penis.
599
00:32:59,186 --> 00:33:02,272
‐He’s angrier than he knows.
‐[continues groaning]
600
00:33:02,272 --> 00:33:03,648
Almost done, sweetheart.
601
00:33:12,949 --> 00:33:14,784
[sighs]
602
00:33:14,784 --> 00:33:18,330
You know how certain cities
have foods named after them?
603
00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:21,208
Like, London broil
or Black Forest cake?
604
00:33:22,417 --> 00:33:24,336
‐Peking duck?
‐Right.
605
00:33:24,336 --> 00:33:27,297
Well... wouldn’t it be
cool someday
606
00:33:27,297 --> 00:33:30,508
to go to those places and
actually eat those foods there?
607
00:33:30,508 --> 00:33:34,054
You know, in different places
around the world.
608
00:33:34,054 --> 00:33:37,974
Like have the Black Forest cake
in the Black Forest?
609
00:33:37,974 --> 00:33:40,143
Yeah.
610
00:33:40,143 --> 00:33:43,063
I used to think about it
all the time when I was young.
611
00:33:43,063 --> 00:33:44,356
Like 16.
612
00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:48,443
I bet Black Forest cake
tastes totally different
613
00:33:48,443 --> 00:33:51,363
‐in the actual Black Forest.
‐Exactly.
614
00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:54,532
I mean, it looks like a joke.
615
00:33:57,202 --> 00:34:00,914
I never actually told anyone
that before. Most people
wouldn’t understand.
616
00:34:02,499 --> 00:34:05,961
‐Not even Pete?
‐No, he’d understand.
617
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:07,254
Pete always understands.
618
00:34:09,673 --> 00:34:12,509
It’s so crazy... isn’t it?
619
00:34:12,509 --> 00:34:17,347
Just supposed to make everything
better, you know, when someone
totally understands you.
620
00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:20,558
You mean it doesn’t?
621
00:34:22,018 --> 00:34:23,895
Oh... yeah.
622
00:34:25,146 --> 00:34:26,731
[chuckles] It’s the greatest.
623
00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:31,319
I mean... I just...
624
00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:35,657
catch his eye sometimes,
and they just look like...
625
00:34:35,657 --> 00:34:40,078
he’s terrified.
Or maybe that’s me.
626
00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:42,872
It’s...
627
00:34:42,872 --> 00:34:45,917
It’s like when both know that
we’ll never get out of here.
628
00:34:48,378 --> 00:34:50,463
But we’re happy.
629
00:34:50,463 --> 00:34:52,507
And we’re really, really happy.
630
00:34:54,301 --> 00:34:57,762
‐Pete’s such a great guy.
‐Yeah, he is.
631
00:34:57,762 --> 00:34:59,014
He’s great.
632
00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:03,852
Hamburgers.
633
00:35:03,852 --> 00:35:07,230
‐You can have
hamburgers in Hamburg.
‐Yeah. [chuckles]
634
00:35:10,233 --> 00:35:12,152
Tina...
635
00:35:12,152 --> 00:35:13,611
can I ask you a question?
636
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:18,033
Is this what people really do?
637
00:35:18,033 --> 00:35:22,579
I mean, Saturday night.
This is pretty much it?
638
00:35:22,579 --> 00:35:26,916
‐Drive around, you talk.
‐Pretty much, though.
639
00:35:28,376 --> 00:35:31,338
And I don’t always puke.
Obviously.
640
00:35:31,338 --> 00:35:33,757
‐[clears throat]
‐I figured.
641
00:35:33,757 --> 00:35:35,216
[chuckles]
642
00:35:40,096 --> 00:35:42,390
You know, we’re gonna
have to have that truck towed.
643
00:35:49,898 --> 00:35:52,859
Hey, Carter. I was just, uh,
getting some batteries.
644
00:35:52,859 --> 00:35:56,654
I‐I need them for
my blender, ’cause... Well,
my blender uses batteries
645
00:35:56,654 --> 00:35:58,698
and I have blend something.
646
00:35:58,698 --> 00:36:00,742
How about you?
647
00:36:00,742 --> 00:36:03,078
I gotta lend my
celestial navigation chart
to Bud Skeeter.
648
00:36:03,078 --> 00:36:06,331
Sue said she was interested,
so I just wanted...
649
00:36:06,331 --> 00:36:07,832
Yes!
650
00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:13,129
‐Oh, sorry.
‐[exhales sharply]
651
00:36:14,339 --> 00:36:16,383
Are you going sailing?
652
00:36:16,383 --> 00:36:18,635
No, just been driving around.
653
00:36:18,635 --> 00:36:22,013
Kept trying to get to dinner,
but it’s such a beautiful night.
654
00:36:23,139 --> 00:36:24,766
[sighs] Anyway...
655
00:36:24,766 --> 00:36:26,267
Sue and I couldn’t help noticing
656
00:36:26,267 --> 00:36:28,561
how bright the stars
were tonight, and...
657
00:36:28,561 --> 00:36:31,481
so I thought I’d show her
how to use the night sky
to navigate.
658
00:36:33,608 --> 00:36:36,152
Stupid, huh? It’s crazy,
isn’t it? I mean, look at me.
659
00:36:36,152 --> 00:36:38,822
I’m 38 years old
and I feel like when I was 12.
660
00:36:38,822 --> 00:36:41,699
Only then I was
miserable, now I’m...
661
00:36:41,699 --> 00:36:44,536
‐vaguely delirious. It’s...
‐[chuckles]
662
00:36:44,536 --> 00:36:46,913
It’s nuts. It’s ridiculous. I...
663
00:36:48,415 --> 00:36:50,417
I’m walking on air.
664
00:36:50,417 --> 00:36:53,002
Doesn’t sound ridiculous to me.
665
00:36:53,002 --> 00:36:54,129
Me either.
666
00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:05,932
Believe it or not...
667
00:37:05,932 --> 00:37:09,727
I went skinny dipping
in these lakes
when I was a teen.
668
00:37:09,727 --> 00:37:13,440
There were parties.
Those Saturday nights...
669
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,650
my God, we’d get restless.
670
00:37:15,650 --> 00:37:19,070
"Let’s go swimming
under the stars!"
671
00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:22,574
Crazy, man.
And there we’d go...
672
00:37:22,574 --> 00:37:27,078
tearing our clothes off and...
Wait a minute.
673
00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:31,833
‐Are you out of your mind?
‐Our next stop is to
swim under the stars.
674
00:37:31,833 --> 00:37:34,335
That was a hundred years ago.
675
00:37:34,335 --> 00:37:37,380
We will spend this moment
with reckless abandon.
676
00:37:41,009 --> 00:37:43,553
‐[leaves rustling]
‐[water splashing]
677
00:37:43,553 --> 00:37:45,388
[whooping]
678
00:37:45,388 --> 00:37:48,308
Boy, the water was
warmer then, I take it.
679
00:37:48,308 --> 00:37:50,894
Well, that was
a hundred years ago.
680
00:37:50,894 --> 00:37:53,897
‐And we all got
leaches too.
‐[gasps]
681
00:37:53,897 --> 00:37:56,774
‐[laughs] Got you!
‐["Give Me the Simple Life"
by Ella Fitzgerald playing]
682
00:37:56,774 --> 00:38:00,028
♪ I don’t believe in
Frettin’ and grievin’ ♪
683
00:38:00,028 --> 00:38:03,198
♪ Why mess around with strife? ♪
684
00:38:03,198 --> 00:38:07,744
♪ I never was cut out
To step and strut out ♪
685
00:38:07,744 --> 00:38:10,914
♪ Give me the simple life ♪
686
00:38:10,914 --> 00:38:15,001
♪ Some take the high road
I’ll take the low road ♪
687
00:38:15,001 --> 00:38:17,879
♪ Free from the care
And strife ♪
688
00:38:17,879 --> 00:38:20,715
♪ Sounds corny and seedy... ♪
689
00:38:20,715 --> 00:38:23,843
‐[lever clangs]
‐[machine whirring]
690
00:38:25,512 --> 00:38:28,181
Well, maybe I’ll see you around.
691
00:38:29,599 --> 00:38:31,267
Definitely.
692
00:38:31,267 --> 00:38:34,395
Pete said might have
a party next Saturday night.
693
00:38:34,395 --> 00:38:36,147
That’d be excellent.
694
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,775
‐Just don’t serve
Black Forest cake.
‐No.
695
00:38:40,026 --> 00:38:43,238
Tina, I just wanna say...
696
00:38:43,238 --> 00:38:46,574
all the places in the world
you want to go to...
697
00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:50,370
I think you’ll go there
if you want it badly enough.
698
00:38:50,370 --> 00:38:54,374
I mean, you can make
anything happen if you want it
badly enough, right?
699
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:56,626
That’s what I believe.
700
00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:01,214
Sure.
701
00:39:17,313 --> 00:39:19,524
Hey, you need a ride somewhere?
702
00:39:19,524 --> 00:39:21,859
Nah, I’ll walk.
703
00:39:24,821 --> 00:39:26,823
You could have Mars bars.
704
00:39:28,992 --> 00:39:30,118
On Mars.
705
00:39:33,538 --> 00:39:35,832
[dramatic music playing]
706
00:39:52,056 --> 00:39:55,685
You could play the red seven
on the black eight.
707
00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:02,150
And then the six and the five
in that column there.
708
00:40:02,150 --> 00:40:05,612
There’s a reason it’s
called Solitaire, Max, okay?
709
00:40:05,612 --> 00:40:07,530
Right. Sorry.
710
00:40:11,534 --> 00:40:13,161
What was that, the six?
711
00:40:14,370 --> 00:40:15,496
Yeah.
712
00:40:18,625 --> 00:40:22,920
So, what are you doing here?
Thought you were supposed
to be out having a great time.
713
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:24,547
Right.
714
00:40:26,132 --> 00:40:27,258
Help yourself.
715
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,679
‐This town is dead.
‐You know what?
716
00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:34,223
Saturday night? Sucks.
717
00:40:34,223 --> 00:40:36,059
‐Tell me about it.
‐I think we should wipe
718
00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:38,102
the whole Saturday night
thing off the calendar.
719
00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:40,396
‐The whole thing.
‐It’s worse than New Year’s.
720
00:40:40,396 --> 00:40:42,857
It’s like they put it
in front of you every week
just to remind you
721
00:40:42,857 --> 00:40:45,026
that your life
is totally screwed up.
722
00:40:45,026 --> 00:40:48,696
‐In case you forgot.
‐I think we should have
Friday night twice.
723
00:40:48,696 --> 00:40:52,033
‐Amen.
‐[chuckles]
724
00:40:52,033 --> 00:40:56,913
Kenny, you ever feel like
you’re looking for something,
but you don’t know what it is?
725
00:40:59,624 --> 00:41:01,084
All the time.
726
00:41:01,084 --> 00:41:03,378
You think you’ll ever find it?
727
00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:08,591
[sighs] I don’t know.
728
00:41:08,591 --> 00:41:10,176
Maybe.
729
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:15,848
Black jack, red queen.
730
00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:19,060
Right.
731
00:41:23,439 --> 00:41:25,066
[owl hooting]
732
00:41:25,066 --> 00:41:28,778
[Wambaugh] They stood under
a carpet of stars.
733
00:41:28,778 --> 00:41:30,405
What’s that?
734
00:41:30,405 --> 00:41:34,242
‐They stood under a carpet‐‐
‐I heard you.
735
00:41:34,242 --> 00:41:37,787
‐What are you quoting?
‐Oh, I made it up on the spot.
736
00:41:37,787 --> 00:41:41,374
A hundred years from now,
when they write
about this moment,
737
00:41:41,374 --> 00:41:45,670
that’s what they’ll say.
"They stood under a carpet...
738
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:48,047
‐of stars."
‐Wambaugh...
739
00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:51,092
Nobody’s gonna remember
this night in a hundred years.
740
00:41:51,092 --> 00:41:57,140
‐It could be a biography.
‐Nobody’s gonna remember
this night in five minutes.
741
00:41:57,140 --> 00:42:00,560
[Wambaugh] And they
talked long into the night
742
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:03,396
about matter philosophical,
743
00:42:03,396 --> 00:42:05,440
as was their want.
744
00:42:07,650 --> 00:42:09,193
Is that the Big Dipper?
745
00:42:10,778 --> 00:42:13,114
I left my glasses in the car.
746
00:42:17,744 --> 00:42:21,372
I wonder if they found
George’s nephew.
747
00:42:21,372 --> 00:42:24,792
You know, it’s a...
It’s a terrible thing
748
00:42:24,792 --> 00:42:28,087
when there’s no one to call.
749
00:42:28,087 --> 00:42:31,382
You ever
think about it? Dying.
750
00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:34,469
Oh, no, I never think about it.
751
00:42:34,469 --> 00:42:38,431
‐I think about it.
‐I never think about it.
752
00:42:38,431 --> 00:42:40,808
I thought I’d feel different.
753
00:42:42,602 --> 00:42:44,020
I thought...
754
00:42:44,020 --> 00:42:46,189
I thought I’d feel older.
755
00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:51,944
So this eternal life
business, Henry...
756
00:42:51,944 --> 00:42:54,113
if you could have it, would you?
757
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:58,201
Oh, I don’t know.
758
00:42:58,201 --> 00:43:00,411
I’d probably get tired
of it after a while.
759
00:43:02,455 --> 00:43:05,416
I don’t think I’d ever
get tired of it.
760
00:43:06,542 --> 00:43:07,668
No.
761
00:43:09,504 --> 00:43:12,465
I don’t think I’d get
tired of it, either.
762
00:43:14,884 --> 00:43:17,970
[door opens, squeaks]
763
00:43:17,970 --> 00:43:23,267
‐Some Saturday night, huh?
‐[chuckles] Yeah.
764
00:43:23,267 --> 00:43:25,728
Well, I hope this isn’t
some kind of omen.
765
00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:29,607
‐No more pigging out,
no more videos, no more...
‐[groaning]
766
00:43:33,653 --> 00:43:35,863
You know, in some kind of...
767
00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:38,032
totally nightmarish way,
768
00:43:38,032 --> 00:43:41,244
‐and not to minimize the pain
that you went through...
‐[groans]
769
00:43:42,578 --> 00:43:44,247
...it was kind of...
770
00:43:45,623 --> 00:43:46,999
Well, it was at least...
771
00:43:48,584 --> 00:43:50,628
um...
772
00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:53,548
‐Memorable.
‐[both laugh]
773
00:43:59,804 --> 00:44:01,681
[knocking on door, opens]
774
00:44:01,681 --> 00:44:04,183
Hi. How was your party?
775
00:44:05,309 --> 00:44:06,936
There wasn’t any party.
776
00:44:08,771 --> 00:44:10,314
So, what’d you do?
777
00:44:12,942 --> 00:44:14,485
Not much. Hung out.
778
00:44:15,903 --> 00:44:17,029
What’d you guys do?
779
00:44:18,614 --> 00:44:21,534
‐Not much. Hung out.
‐[continues groaning]
780
00:44:22,785 --> 00:44:24,078
Cool.
781
00:44:26,205 --> 00:44:28,958
‐Good night, son.
‐Good night.
782
00:44:35,715 --> 00:44:36,841
Matthew...
783
00:44:42,597 --> 00:44:44,390
did anything happen tonight?
784
00:44:47,977 --> 00:44:49,604
I don’t think so.
785
00:44:53,858 --> 00:44:56,235
[sighs]
786
00:44:58,779 --> 00:45:01,115
‐Good night.
‐Good night.
787
00:45:02,992 --> 00:45:04,201
[door closes]
788
00:45:07,455 --> 00:45:09,874
♪ Magic of the melancholy ♪
789
00:45:09,874 --> 00:45:12,335
♪ Tear in your eye ♪
790
00:45:12,335 --> 00:45:15,463
♪ Makes it kind of special ♪
791
00:45:15,463 --> 00:45:17,423
♪ Down in the core ♪
792
00:45:17,423 --> 00:45:20,343
♪ And you’re dreaming
Of them Saturdays ♪
793
00:45:20,343 --> 00:45:24,931
♪ That came before
It’s found you stumbling ♪
794
00:45:24,931 --> 00:45:29,685
♪ Stumbling onto the heart
Of Saturday night ♪
795
00:45:31,979 --> 00:45:35,149
♪ And you’re stumbling ♪
796
00:45:35,149 --> 00:45:39,820
♪ Stumbling onto the heart
Of Saturday night ♪
797
00:45:42,490 --> 00:45:45,034
[humming]
798
00:46:03,344 --> 00:46:06,013
[male narrator] Next week,
on Picket Fences.
‐[gunshot]
799
00:46:06,013 --> 00:46:08,891
John, you’ve been
through a terrible ordeal.
800
00:46:08,891 --> 00:46:13,312
Your brother’s death and
your injury, you can’t push
yourself too much right now.
801
00:46:13,312 --> 00:46:16,148
"Tube elongation," Jimmy.
Stop saying "Tubes tie."
802
00:46:16,148 --> 00:46:20,486
After 20 years, I am tired
of using the diaphragm.
I am not going back on the pill.
803
00:46:20,486 --> 00:46:22,405
And you’re the one
who’s always talking about
804
00:46:22,405 --> 00:46:24,865
putting the spontaneity
back in our sex life.
805
00:46:24,865 --> 00:46:26,701
What sex life?
806
00:46:26,701 --> 00:46:29,286
[cheerful music playing]
807
00:46:34,625 --> 00:46:37,420
[theme music playing]
808
00:46:57,982 --> 00:47:00,526
[theme music ends]
58546
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