All language subtitles for How To Marry A Millionaire - S02E12 - The Comic

The majestic Douglas fir
of the Pacific Northwest.

Some of these trees have been
standing for hundreds of years.

These giants of the forest are
worth millions to the lumber industry.

Oh, that's too long to wait for money.

Do you know a quicker way?

Sure, marry a millionaire.

That does it.

Gin?

Rummy. Never mind the
comment. Oh, you're so lucky.

Mike, what happened?

Are you all right? I feel so silly, yes.
I caught my heel getting into the elevator.

This gentleman was kind enough to help.

Oh, what an answer to an
SOS. These are my roommates,

Gwen Kirby and Loco Jones. Hello.

This is Mr. Tony Marsh.

How do you do? Have you just
moved into the building, Mr. Morrish?

I haven't seen you around.

No, I was just visiting friends.

You have a family, Mr. Morrish?

No, I live with my sister.
I hope when you're feeling

better, Miss McCall, I
can call you. May I?

Of course, if you like.

I don't think I have a pencil.

Oh, see? Here.

Thank you.

It's a plaza.

This will be easier. Thank you.

And I do hope you're
feeling better. Good night.

Good night.

He's nice.

Do you think he'll call? I hope so.

I can't tell you how much I
enjoy being with you, Mike.

Well, thank you, Tony.

Good night.

An engagement ring?

Oh, it sure must be a big diamond in that
box. He must be a multimillionaire. Logo,

that is not a ring box. It's a book.

Love Sonnets from the Portuguese.

Well, I guess that's all right
if you happen to be a Portuguese.

Mike, I think you ought to give that
Tony a book. What kind of a book, local?

101 Ways to Propose.
Honey, I'd settle for just one,

and it could even be in Portuguese.

Oh, just look at this picture.

Isn't Tony sweet? Especially at
the age four months. Oh, gosh,

doesn't he have a beautiful set of
teeth? Set of teeth at four months?

Loco, put on your glasses.

Oh! I was looking at the bear.

They say when a man gives
a girl his baby picture,

it means that she reminds him of his
mother. I've heard that, too. You know,

Tony may be a little shy about
proposing, but he is sentimental.

And so romantic.

It's like sending you one
perfect rose every morning.

Oh, what a nice surprise.

One perfect engagement ring
would be a nicer surprise.

Tony's not the kind to rush into
marriage. He's really quite old-fashioned.

Marriage is old-fashioned.

True, Loco. No family should
be without it. That's Tony.

So soon? He has a phone in his
car. Really? I've never seen his car.

Is it a big limousine?
Oh, it's got to be. He's

got a switchboard in the
back seat. I'm coming!

Who is it?

Me, Jesse.

I was afraid it was a man.

Well, don't blame me.
It's the cut of the uniform.

You girls got trouble, loco.

Oh, no.

Everything's just fine. Not if
the house manager sees this.

Oh, aren't they cute?

We interrupted them. They were kissing.

I'll hide them for you, Jesse.

They're not mine. They're Mike's.
They were sent over by Mr. Tony Marsh.

But you know what the manager says.

No pets.

Mr. Marsh isn't a pet.
He's practically a fiancé.

You know, loco, someday you're gonna
look in a mirror and see nobody there.

Oh, I do that now. Huh?

When I forget my glasses.

Oh.

Thanks, Jesse.

Are you two little darlings through? Good.

Mike!

Surprise! Surprise!

Oh, my. Look what Tony sent
you. Not on the table. Here.

Oh, lovebirds.

You know, this might
be a sign of progress.

Well, at least he's
thinking in the right direction.

He sent both birds in the same cage.

Tony's asked us all to tea at his house
this afternoon to meet his sister, Julia.

Wonderful! He wants to bring
the two families together.

And that's the last
step before the last step.

Yeah, but what if Julia doesn't like
me? She's the only family Tony has.

And probably the possessive
type. That's very possible.

Julia's made a home for
Tony ever since he was 18.

She's almost like a mother to him.

This could be a problem.

But we won't let it be. You'll be so
charming, she'll just have to like you.

Say, Gwen and I could
pretend to hate you. You know,

make her defend you and
get her on your side.

Well...

Maybe I just better keep my mouth shut.

Would you, Loco? Could you, Loco?

I won't say anything. And don't
worry, I'll have a good excuse.

I'm sure I'll think of something.

These are two old friends of ours,
Margaret Nichols and her brother, George.

How do you do? Now that you've done the
honors, Julia, shall we get comfortable?

Yes, of course, dear.

Won't you sit down? Thank you.

Tony told me your career goes.

Working in Wall Street must be
fascinating. I just adore it.

She'd sacrifice it all for love.

You shouldn't try, dear.

Loco has laryngitis. Yes,
and it settled in my throat.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

That's one of the most dreadful
things that can happen to a woman.

Not for Julia.

She never talks too much.

And you practically not at all.

Good old George never uses
two words where none will do.

That's an admirable quality, Tony.

We've lived together for so long,
I'm afraid I've spoiled George.

He won't even talk for himself
if I'm around to do it for him.

Don't you think we've
talked enough about ourselves?

Oh, I sure do.

Loco can't resist a joke.

Even when she has laryngitis.

Your laryngitis seems to come and go.

Yes, but then again, don't we all?

I'll order tea.

I'm sorry it was such a
long, dull story, Mike, but...

There we were, left alone at an early age.

My sister Julia's been wonderful to me.

She thought you were charming.

Gwen and Loco, too.

I'm glad she liked us.

She had to.

You're everything a girl should be.

Well, thank you, Tony.

There's absolutely
nothing I'd change about you.

Not even her name.

If only things were different.

You know, obligations tie a man down.

I know it's wrong of me to even think of
the word Judy in connection with Julia,

but... I'm afraid I
don't quite understand.

Julia's kept house for me for years.

She runs the place
perfectly. It's her only happiness.

Doesn't she ever think
about having a home of her own?

Well, her husband usually goes with it.

Why?

George will get around to asking
Julia to marry him someday, I suppose.

Tony, that's not fair to you.

I have to think of Judy
before my own happiness.

Couldn't Julia continue to live
with you even if you did get married?

I'd be displacing her.

Someday, Julia will marry.

Then I'll be free to live my own life.

It was a promissory note with
no due date. It certainly was.

Could you explain that again?

Let me put it this way.
Just when Mike thinks he's

going to feather her
nest, Tony turns chicken.

Oh.

Please give my best to Julia.

Thanks, Mike.

Good night.

Good night.

We heard everything, Mike, and
don't you believe a word of it.

He was just pulling the
wool over your eyes. He was?

Then he's not as
old-fashioned as we thought.

It's not Tony's fault.
He wouldn't be in such

a spot if George had
just proposed to Julia.

No, but it makes things
mighty convenient for him.

He can't get married because
of his duty to poor Julia.

Huh.

Oh, I don't know, Gwen. Look,
Margaret does everything for George,

and Julia does the same for Tony.

Well, I guess everybody's just
too comfortable the way things are.

Then let's upset everybody. What?

Is there a law against
breaking up a brother and a sister?

Loco, I think you've really
got something there. I have?

Well...

Oh, what a beautiful view. Oh, well,
isn't this beautiful? Mike made everything.

She's quite a good housekeeper.

Oh, it's nothing. We hope you don't
mind this being just Ladies' Day,

but we thought it'd give us a
chance to get better acquainted.

Julia, won't you sit here?
I think it's a lovely idea.

But women can't be
themselves when men are around.

Well, you can't blame
us for being nervous.

After all, men are the
only opposite sex we've got.

I really don't know much about
men, except George, of course.

Since I was 15, he's been my one and only.

Your one and only what?

My beau, of course.

Oh, gosh. I always heard that a beau
had something to do with tying the knot.

Whatever do you mean?

It's just that Loco feels so
strongly about long engagements.

Oh, but you misunderstand.

George and I are not engaged.

Oh, well, that's different.

Not even engaged?

We did misunderstand. I'm sorry. We
have a kind of understanding, I suppose,

but George is too
considerate to ask me to marry

him under the
circumstances. What's bugging him?

I beg your pardon?

Oh, it has nothing to
do with George. Oh, no.

It's my situation.

He knows that I couldn't
leave Tony alone. He'd be lost.

But someday, Tony will settle down,
and then George and I will be free to...

Make our own plans.

Everybody says the same thing.

Now I'm really confused.

Well, what loco means, Tony
hinted that he couldn't possibly

think of marriage until
you're settled in your own home.

It was no hint. He came
right out and told Mike.

Gwen and I heard everything.
Oh, we weren't eavesdropping.

We just left the door open.

Tony never told me he
was considering marriage.

I don't understand why
he kept it to himself.

Well, maybe he was afraid you'd think he
was trying to rush you out of his house.

And all this time, you've
been dying to be rushed

out of his house and into George's arms.

Oh, you poor little
thing. You've had a long wait.

All because I thought I was
doing my duty toward Tony.

Well, there's no use worrying
about all the time you've wasted.

You've got to think about
what you're going to do now.

I don't know what to do.

I've got an idea.

Uh-oh.

Are you sure we didn't go too far?

A Radney says this is right for
your personality, and at her prices,

she can't afford to make mistakes.

Blonde hair.

George will flip right out of his rocking
chair. I can hardly wait to see his face.

In a way, it's like cheating.

Trying to be something I'm not.

You're trying to be something you are.

Believe me, Julia, you've
always had the right equipment.

It's just that you've been hiding it.
Now that's cheating. I guess you're right.

Well, Mike, I hope our
plan works for both of us.

Oh, it suits you, miss.

Does it?

Oh, you're right.

Of course, these spoil the effect,

but that's okay because
Julia won't be wearing glasses.

This is one of our trousseau
items. The price is a bit high,

but the garment's worth it.

How high? Oh, think of paying over $200
for something to wear when you're undressed.

Oh, but money's no object now.

Have you decided about this?

Well, it's not often I buy a trousseau.

I'll take them all.

I hope George likes everything.

When are you getting married?

Oh, I'm not getting married.

Is this a charge?

Yes, to the Marsh account.

Oh, Mr. Anthony Marsh?

Oh, do you know Tony?

Well, he's one of our best accountants.

Well.

And all he ever buys Mike
are roses and lovebirds.

I'm afraid we'll have to
have some authorization

to charge these things to Mr. Marsh.

Oh, not to Tony. It's his sister
Julia's trousseau. Charge it to her.

You are buying Miss Marsh at Drusso?

Oh, yes.

I'm sort of standing in
for the bride. Of course,

after the wedding, she'll be on her own.

Miss Marsh is an old customer.
I hadn't heard she was engaged.

Well, she's not really yet. But
when we get through with her, boy,

will she be engaged. Oh, hi, loco.

I have everything on my
list. How are you doing? Great.

Well, it's been nice talking to
you, but I have to be going now.

Under the circumstances, we'll have
to have some personal notifications

from Miss Marsh. Your
purchases total over $5,000.

Well, if you insist,
you can call Miss Marsh.

She's having her hair done at Aradney's.

You know Aradney's, of course.

All of our customers are done by Aradney.

$5,000? Boy, you really let
yourself go. No, I let Julia go.

It's true, so it's such fun.

I'll have to do it more often.

Good evening. Julia asked
me to pick her up here.

Yes, we know, George.
Won't you come in? Thank you.

Oh, George.

Surprise, surprise. No, no. I
can't help it. I can't help it.

I...

Come on out, Julia!

Julia?

Is that you under all that, Julia?

How do you like the new me?

Now you can see what she's really like.

I've always known.
Hey, the girls really did

a reconstruction job on you, didn't they?

I thought if I brightened
myself up a bit, you'd be pleased.

Oh, now, do you think changing your
hair was gonna change my feelings for you?

It was silly of me, wasn't it?

Ah, Julia.

It wasn't silly.

If blonde hair pleases
you, that's fine with me,

but I don't know why you
went to all that trouble.

Well, we just decided to let
this cat out of the bag. Yes,

sometimes a woman realizes she
hasn't been utilizing all her assets,

so she decides to do something about it.

Well, I'm sure you meant well, but I
see you don't understand how I feel.

I thought you did, Julia.

The things I value about
you have nothing to do with

the color of your hair
or the clothes you wear.

I should have known those things
don't matter between old friends.

I'm not talking as an old friend.

I'm speaking as the man
who's loved you for a long time.

Since she was 15, that
sounds like a proposal.

I'm glad God.

Would be a proposal if I didn't
know that Tony comes first with you.

Tony doesn't have to come first anymore.

This is a proposal, and
Julia says yes. Tell him, Julia.

She doesn't have to.

I'll accept Loco's privacy.

Gosh, if he's been doing
that since you were 15, Julia,

how come you're still single? Oh, Julia.
Oh, I'm so glad. I'm so happy for you, too.

One down and one to go.

We'll tell Tony and my
sister Margaret tonight.

Don't stop for anything. Get married
now while you're still in the mood.

That's a pretty good idea, loco.
We'll leave for Connecticut right now.

And we'll send them a
wire after we're married.

Julie, dear, I hope after
all these years of waiting,

you won't think I'm rushing you into this.

Rushing her into this? You
better step on it before

her trousseau goes out of
style. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Oh.

Not even to let me know
until after they were married.

It's so unlike Julia.

I wonder how it all happened.

Oh, Cupid shot an arrow into the
air, and it landed you know where.

I never thought George
would actually propose.

Well, he's a slow
starter, but that arrow got

him started in the
right direction. Eloping.

Why, it's unbelievable.

When you get over the shock,
Tony, you'll be happy for Julia.

Oh, but this does present a problem
for you. Just you and the servants.

All alone in that big house. No
woman at your side to help you.

Well, there's the cook and the maid.

Well, that's not the kind of help I mean.

Your household needs a guiding hand,

or the servants can't run
things the way Julia did.

And you are used to a certain
routine. Well, Tony, you should be thrilled.

This is the someday you've been
waiting for. Yes, Independence Day.

Thanks for bothering with my problems.

Oh, we wanted to bother, didn't we, Mike?

We're happy to do anything
we can to help you, Tony.

Well, I know you are, but...
Look, I think I'd better go home now.

When a man has an important decision to
make, he should be alone to think it out.

And you've convinced me that I do
have to make an important decision.

Good night, girls.

Goodbye.

Good night, Mike.

Good night, Tony.

Oh, Mike, this is
wonderful. You're as good as Mary.

Here comes the bride.

Oh, don't get carried away.
Remember, it takes two to tango.

And he still hasn't asked
you to dance. Oh, he will.

I can see you both
now, honeymooning at Rose

Hello?

Oh, good morning, Tony.
Oh, you have? He has what?

He's made a decision. The right
what? A proposal? Oh, we'd love to.

Yes.

Of course, goodbye. He says he
has a wonderful surprise for me.

I knew it, a 10-carat engagement ring.

Don't tell Tony Short, it could
be 20 carats. Oh, golly, Mike,

you're going to have to carry your
finger around in a wheelbarrow. Oh,

I wonder what I should
wear. Oh, a bridal gown.

No, I mean today.

By the way, he says he
wants to see all three

of us. All three of us? That's polygamy.

I don't care what it is.

I like it.

Girls, just sit there and relax.
I'll just be a moment. Excuse me.

I guess he went to get the ring.
I hope he doesn't strain himself.

This is my wonderful surprise.

Margaret?

Ladies, meet my
bride-to-be. Isn't she gorgeous?

Your bride-to-be?

The bell just rang.

And I have you girls to thank for it. Huh?

Well, I saw how you transformed Julia,
so, well, I decided to try it myself.

When I came home to make my
decision last night, Margaret was there.

I took one look, and I was overwhelmed.

George and Julia's getting married
made me realize how lonely I was.

Well, you could always
join a friendship club.

I want to wish you both all
the happiness in the world.

Well, I hope there are
no hard feelings, Mike.

I've always been very fond of you,
but Mark and I have so much in common.

After all, we've been playing
bridge together for 15 years.

Well, I wouldn't think
of breaking up your game.

We better call George and Julia,
give them the good news. Excuse us.

Don't feel bad, Mike. No,
it just wasn't in the cards.

Oh, I don't feel bad.

After all, I didn't lose a
husband. I just lost a fourth for Bridge.

What's the name of this
game? Gin again, huh? Well, I

may not be a gracious
winner, but I am a sore loser.

Mike, what's the matter?

Are you hurt?

Oh, it's nothing. I caught my heel
getting into the elevator and twisted my ankle.

This gentleman was kind
enough to give me a hand.

Looks like he gave you his whole arm.

These are my roommates,
Gwen Kirby and Local Jones.

How do you do?

Hello. This is Mr. Worthington.
He just moved into the building.

Let me make you comfortable.

There now. Careful.

There, now how's that?

Oh, that's fine, thank you. I'm
sure I'll be all right in a minute.

So you live right here in our
building, huh, Mr. Worthington?

I moved in yesterday. And from the looks
of things, I'm going to like it very much.

Very much.

You have a family, Mr. Worthington?

No, just my sister and myself.

Your sister! Oh! Oh!