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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,042 --> 00:00:28,833 Action sequences are supervised by professionals. Do not attempt to re-create to avoid any risks. 2 00:01:26,125 --> 00:01:29,917 泳池的身体 3 00:01:29,917 --> 00:01:32,583 那年刚补满水 4 00:01:32,583 --> 00:01:35,792 等着夏日恋情绽放 5 00:01:45,875 --> 00:01:48,708 当人鱼救起王子时 6 00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:54,750 并不会知道海里的故事这么深 这么冷 7 00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:10,375 他以为是失温的鸡皮疙瘩 8 00:02:10,375 --> 00:02:13,875 靠近才知道是天鹅绒般的花瓣 9 00:02:15,583 --> 00:02:17,042 火辣 10 00:02:31,917 --> 00:02:36,917 原来这就是心动的最初 11 00:02:36,917 --> 00:02:38,542 纯爱的开始 12 00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:06,125 像现在这样半梦半醒的 13 00:05:06,125 --> 00:05:08,250 最舒服了 不是吗 14 00:05:10,042 --> 00:05:12,042 想上岸啦 15 00:05:21,833 --> 00:05:24,125 时间到了吗 16 00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:25,458 还没啊 17 00:05:27,583 --> 00:05:29,500 我把时间延长了 18 00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:34,375 像现在这样半梦半醒的 19 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,042 最舒服了 不是吗 20 00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:39,333 想上岸啦 21 00:05:41,958 --> 00:05:44,250 干 别闹啦 22 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,250 喂 23 00:05:57,875 --> 00:06:00,250 该起床罗 小绿老师 24 00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:05,500 可是我不想上班 25 00:06:06,208 --> 00:06:08,875 但每个礼拜一的早上有朝会耶 26 00:06:08,875 --> 00:06:11,375 不到的话校长会念喔 27 00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:17,667 对啊 长官真的很鸡掰欸 28 00:06:17,667 --> 00:06:20,500 没关系啊 你再睡一下 29 00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:25,833 像现在这样半梦半醒的最舒服了 不是吗 30 00:06:27,583 --> 00:06:29,875 我梦见你在梦里梦到我 31 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,458 你怎么知道… 32 00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:35,042 你猜啊 温馨提醒 33 00:06:35,042 --> 00:06:37,333 例会真的会来不及喔 34 00:06:38,667 --> 00:06:40,167 祝你今天顺利 35 00:06:42,708 --> 00:06:46,500 下去…我要上班啦 快点 36 00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:48,125 下去 37 00:06:58,458 --> 00:06:59,958 38 00:06:59,958 --> 00:07:02,167 我今天早上梦遗了 39 00:07:02,917 --> 00:07:05,917 蛤 你在说什么 40 00:07:15,833 --> 00:07:18,958 早上醒来整个床都是湿的 41 00:07:20,542 --> 00:07:24,125 妈咧 简直就是 42 00:07:24,125 --> 00:07:27,417 水漫金山寺 43 00:07:29,375 --> 00:07:33,000 我没梦遗过 也没听过哪个女生会梦遗 44 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,750 可是我梦遗过啊 45 00:07:34,750 --> 00:07:37,250 不是尿的味道 46 00:07:40,333 --> 00:07:42,958 不好意思 那是什么味道 47 00:07:44,042 --> 00:07:45,542 为什么有百合 48 00:07:45,542 --> 00:07:49,792 百合遇到沉香有一种廉价殡仪馆的味道 49 00:07:49,792 --> 00:07:51,333 蝴蝶兰呢 50 00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:53,833 报告总监 报价太贵 51 00:07:56,167 --> 00:08:00,292 蝴蝶兰的花期比较长 应该会比较划算吧 52 00:08:00,708 --> 00:08:03,667 太太觉得敬佛的花不宜太过艳丽 53 00:08:03,667 --> 00:08:05,333 我折衷两位的意见 54 00:08:05,333 --> 00:08:08,625 没有减少太多兰花 增加一些百合 55 00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:11,333 整体看起来也比较豪华一点 56 00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:15,750 大厅是给客人的第一印象 太太很坚持 57 00:08:15,750 --> 00:08:18,542 嗯 对不起 58 00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:26,625 欸 小绿 该不会你上辈子记忆还在吧 59 00:08:27,792 --> 00:08:31,167 不会吧 都切掉几年了 60 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:36,458 不过最近的梦好烦喔 很像鬼打墙 61 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:40,917 一直梦到同样的人 同样的... 62 00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:43,708 你有没有听过 63 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:56,167 观世音菩萨 -烦欸 不是啦 64 00:08:56,167 --> 00:09:01,208 我说的是登登… 65 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,000 反正就是某个固炮 -没听过 66 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,500 每次事后烟在我身上弹的那种旋律 67 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:08,458 Care? 没救了你 68 00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:10,417 灭火群那个吗 69 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,625 灭火群都是群得来速 70 00:09:12,625 --> 00:09:14,375 裤子脱了就要吸 71 00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:16,375 纯干没有恋爱感我不行 72 00:09:16,375 --> 00:09:18,042 我说的是自由氏 73 00:09:18,042 --> 00:09:20,083 群主自介说自己手指很厉害 74 00:09:20,083 --> 00:09:22,583 练过布袋戏的那个单亲霸 75 00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:24,667 传说中被他爱上的女人 76 00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:28,125 就可以独享马赛海鲜汤的那个 77 00:09:28,125 --> 00:09:29,750 你们到几垒啦 78 00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:32,333 一垒而已啊 就打炮 79 00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:35,167 顶多赛后检讨的时候 80 00:09:35,167 --> 00:09:38,083 一起喝啤酒 吃多多咸水鸡 81 00:09:38,083 --> 00:09:40,917 多多 82 00:09:40,917 --> 00:09:43,500 是不是有手牵手逛夜市啊 83 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,333 白 那都到三垒了好吗 84 00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:49,708 我好好的人鱼公主不当 干嘛上岸当人啊 85 00:09:49,708 --> 00:09:51,333 而且他根本不是菜 86 00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:53,375 你今天不用上班啊 87 00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,667 病假啊 88 00:09:55,167 --> 00:09:57,292 昨天医生都警告我说 89 00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,208 我快瞎了 叫我不要再用电脑 90 00:09:59,583 --> 00:10:03,708 小绿老师 你现在是不是在追剧 91 00:10:03,708 --> 00:10:05,167 嗯啊 要不然咧 92 00:10:05,167 --> 00:10:09,208 阿公 过门罗 -阿弥陀佛 93 00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:11,500 我找了好多妹妹图来比对 94 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:12,875 为什么我觉得我的… 95 00:10:12,875 --> 00:10:15,208 你视讯开出来了 -啊干 对不起 96 00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:17,000 阿弥陀佛 97 00:10:18,083 --> 00:10:21,792 欸 我觉得我妹妹形状怪怪的欸 98 00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:24,042 每一朵花本来就不一样啊 99 00:10:24,042 --> 00:10:27,750 哪有 我觉得一定是哪里有问题 100 00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:30,375 所以怎么做 都没有传说中那种... 101 00:10:30,375 --> 00:10:32,875 升天到南天门的感觉 102 00:10:32,875 --> 00:10:37,083 别喔 你去过那里之后就会掉到地狱喔 103 00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:38,125 为什么 104 00:10:48,542 --> 00:10:50,958 总监 新的信封打样来了 105 00:10:50,958 --> 00:10:52,833 请您过目一下 106 00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:57,958 这个logo我记得应该要烫两个不同层次的银 107 00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:01,458 然后这个纸的磅数好像也不太一样了 108 00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:04,458 执行长在预算会议上指示的 109 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:10,625 报告总监 客人快到了先挑一下衣服吧 110 00:11:10,625 --> 00:11:12,792 你决定吧 111 00:11:12,792 --> 00:11:14,083 选黑的 112 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:19,125 今天我们鼎海跟DR建设正式联手合作成功 113 00:11:19,125 --> 00:11:21,958 来 大家举杯 -可以上了 114 00:11:21,958 --> 00:11:25,833 谢谢白叔叔 我替我爸爸敬各位 115 00:11:33,875 --> 00:11:38,208 菊理媛 有意思 116 00:11:38,542 --> 00:11:40,292 姊 117 00:11:45,958 --> 00:11:48,250 Matt喜欢喝的是威士忌 118 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,375 报告执行长 我去后面拿麦卡伦 119 00:11:51,375 --> 00:11:54,583 不用了 没有OMAR的话就用不麻烦了 120 00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:55,875 是 121 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,083 欸 Queenie 122 00:12:00,083 --> 00:12:02,750 我怎么看你跟Matt像陌生人哪 123 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:07,458 以后我们两家可是要长远又深入的合作啊 -对啊 124 00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:10,875 其实我以前在纽约的时候就认识Queenie了 125 00:12:10,875 --> 00:12:12,708 想追她的男生 126 00:12:12,708 --> 00:12:15,458 多到可以组一个篮球队 127 00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:19,458 是棒球队 128 00:12:19,458 --> 00:12:20,708 人比较多 129 00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,167 Queenie长那么漂亮 130 00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:27,708 白董 你一定很舍不得吧 131 00:12:27,708 --> 00:12:29,625 其实我这一次回来 132 00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:32,708 已经偷偷的跟Queenie约会了很久 133 00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:35,833 今天这一局呢 就是要顺便告诉爸 134 00:12:35,833 --> 00:12:37,958 姐跟Matt两个的事 135 00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:42,875 Queenie你保守秘密的功夫太到家了 136 00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:45,417 给我自己一个惊喜啊 137 00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:48,750 惊喜 138 00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:56,917 来 这一杯敬我们DR建设还有鼎海 139 00:12:56,917 --> 00:13:02,333 以后我们两大家族要一起打造天堂与人间 干杯 140 00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:05,125 说得太好了 来 干杯 141 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,458 是你女儿不想回去见你的 142 00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:16,792 我们的事跟她无关 143 00:13:16,792 --> 00:13:20,042 我警告你 赡养费你已经拖了半年 144 00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:22,250 布丁 145 00:13:25,875 --> 00:13:27,500 过来吃饭 146 00:13:30,583 --> 00:13:32,083 为什么不理我 147 00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:42,292 喂 Sammy 148 00:13:42,292 --> 00:13:44,042 我之前写给Lucifer的歌 149 00:13:44,042 --> 00:13:47,417 中间的歌词我想改一下 改成 150 00:13:48,042 --> 00:13:49,875 你从我的梦中苏醒 151 00:13:49,875 --> 00:13:51,958 我还贪恋他身躯的湾 152 00:13:51,958 --> 00:13:54,542 海没有岸 床没有框 153 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,208 你这是在写3P吧 154 00:13:57,208 --> 00:14:00,542 我担心跟他的纯爱形象会有落差欸 155 00:14:00,542 --> 00:14:02,417 你考虑一下罗 156 00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:06,083 这句歌词是今天早上我灵光乍现想到的 157 00:14:08,417 --> 00:14:11,375 哪个女生给你这个灵感 158 00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:12,375 你啊 159 00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:19,125 你老婆前两天有打给我 160 00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:22,667 我说你们哪 总是在输赢 161 00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:27,667 这个周末我会去海钓会带一点海鲜回来 162 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,125 你有没有空 163 00:14:29,125 --> 00:14:31,292 周末有约了 抱歉 164 00:14:32,792 --> 00:14:36,375 没关系 你忙 -掰 165 00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:38,958 欸 大家都到齐了吧 166 00:14:38,958 --> 00:14:40,583 到了到了 167 00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:42,958 昨天晚上我有查了一下后台 168 00:14:42,958 --> 00:14:45,333 《外遇》的预告片反应还不错 169 00:14:45,333 --> 00:14:47,250 可是火没有炒起来 170 00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:49,542 不然这样 大家角色互换一下 171 00:14:49,542 --> 00:14:51,417 A组的 "在那编" "在海编" 172 00:14:51,417 --> 00:14:53,500 你们改成用台男的角度去酸异女 173 00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:56,375 那B组 "在天编" 就用女性的角度去骂沙猪 174 00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:57,750 越凶越好 175 00:14:57,750 --> 00:15:00,042 不是啊 我不要反串异男 176 00:15:00,042 --> 00:15:02,125 认真的时候会真的生气 177 00:15:02,125 --> 00:15:03,875 而且我心脏不好刚做支架 178 00:15:03,875 --> 00:15:06,000 你刚做支架不就是要趁这次机会 179 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:09,042 测试一下会不会心脏病复发吗 180 00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:11,042 新的一天 181 00:15:11,042 --> 00:15:14,083 要找新的题材煽风点火 兴风作浪 182 00:15:14,083 --> 00:15:16,583 如果没有别的事情 其他人先下线吧 183 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,875 "在那编" 你留下来 184 00:15:22,625 --> 00:15:24,042 失恋啦 185 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:29,375 那你失恋去操客人祖宗八代有比较开心吗 186 00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:31,375 要操就去操真人啊 187 00:15:31,375 --> 00:15:33,042 约炮约起来啊 188 00:15:33,042 --> 00:15:34,708 在你失恋的时候去约炮 189 00:15:34,708 --> 00:15:36,500 全世界的人都不会怪你 190 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,750 还会反过来可怜你 同情你 191 00:15:38,750 --> 00:15:40,208 教宗还会赐福你 192 00:15:40,208 --> 00:15:41,958 老天保佑 193 00:15:51,625 --> 00:15:53,208 我长话短说 194 00:15:53,208 --> 00:15:56,167 赡养费我已经信托了 去找律师拿 195 00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:58,708 是你违约在先不让Lorraine回来 196 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,292 而且我要提醒你 197 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:03,208 歇斯底里的态度会影响小朋友的人格发展 198 00:16:03,208 --> 00:16:06,458 请你检查你的态度 199 00:16:28,875 --> 00:16:31,708 你看 我做的南瓜蛋糕 200 00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:36,875 店长称赞说吃起来有栗子的味道 很特别 201 00:16:36,875 --> 00:16:39,917 你自己亲手做的 这么厉害 202 00:16:39,917 --> 00:16:41,542 那先吃你的 203 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:44,917 这里禁带外食耶 204 00:16:44,917 --> 00:16:47,667 不可以吗 205 00:16:47,667 --> 00:16:49,208 没关系吧 206 00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,792 不好吧 等一下被发现 207 00:16:54,542 --> 00:16:56,625 你是怎么知道我们的 208 00:16:57,292 --> 00:16:59,208 是 "19.5" 先认识你的 209 00:16:59,208 --> 00:17:02,792 我看过你们的所有影片 210 00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:04,708 感觉满厉害 211 00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:21,292 欸 你不觉得很奇怪吗 212 00:17:21,292 --> 00:17:23,792 是什么时候开始流行把发卷戴在头上 213 00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,500 然后出门逛街喝咖啡的 214 00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,167 我也不懂耶 215 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:31,125 可能觉得自己很瞎趴吧 216 00:17:31,125 --> 00:17:33,208 其实我觉得满幼稚的 217 00:17:33,208 --> 00:17:35,208 我们班很多人也这样子 218 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,875 喔 你高中生啊 219 00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:44,167 想不到你年纪这么小就喜欢吃综合口味 220 00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:53,083 今天我生日欸 就不能违规一下吗 221 00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:04,125 要不要试看看 222 00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,333 我的有没有比较湿 223 00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:20,833 全线预备 开始射击 224 00:18:33,167 --> 00:18:34,667 张家福 225 00:18:34,667 --> 00:18:37,000 听教官说你枪法很准 226 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,375 每一枪都打到要害你想打死嫌犯啊 227 00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:43,583 再不及格你就一直补考 不要休假了 228 00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:45,833 报告长官 我每天都在看监视器 229 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,500 医生说再这样下去我可能会瞎掉 230 00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,792 瞎掉还那么准啊 231 00:18:50,792 --> 00:18:53,583 既然那么辛苦那你赶快申请职灾补助啊 232 00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,583 早点退一退啊 233 00:18:55,583 --> 00:18:58,708 然后拿到钱喔 可以赶快再去整一整 234 00:18:58,708 --> 00:19:01,125 让你看起来更像真的女人 235 00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:06,833 我本来就是真的 谢谢长官 236 00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:48,958 喂 真的假的 237 00:19:48,958 --> 00:19:50,667 要烙人过去吗 238 00:20:45,542 --> 00:20:48,125 七点半手术房的吗 239 00:22:05,167 --> 00:22:06,250 名字 240 00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:09,833 Bajingan 241 00:22:10,333 --> 00:22:11,833 安全词 242 00:22:12,792 --> 00:22:13,708 掰掰 243 00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:15,875 再一次 244 00:22:18,375 --> 00:22:19,625 掰掰 245 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,667 看清楚 246 00:24:31,417 --> 00:24:32,542 十 247 00:24:43,375 --> 00:24:44,792 九 248 00:24:49,542 --> 00:24:50,708 说啊 249 00:24:55,458 --> 00:24:56,792 八 250 00:24:58,292 --> 00:24:59,875 说你爱我 251 00:25:02,833 --> 00:25:04,250 七 252 00:25:09,667 --> 00:25:11,250 六 253 00:25:17,125 --> 00:25:18,375 五 254 00:25:19,708 --> 00:25:21,708 说你爱我 255 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,458 四 256 00:25:35,042 --> 00:25:36,292 三 257 00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,375 说你爱我 258 00:25:52,083 --> 00:25:53,458 说你是我的 259 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,958 小绿老师 好不好吃 260 00:26:05,958 --> 00:26:09,625 什么蛋糕啊 这是发粿吧 261 00:26:09,625 --> 00:26:14,500 正确来说应该是南瓜口味的栗子蛋糕 262 00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:17,958 欸... 我排了一个小时的多多咸水鸡请你吃 263 00:26:17,958 --> 00:26:20,333 结果换来这什么 干掉的发粿 264 00:26:20,333 --> 00:26:22,458 人家小女生一片心意嘛 265 00:26:22,458 --> 00:26:24,333 不然房费我来出 266 00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:28,917 不要 订房软件点数要过期了 267 00:26:30,042 --> 00:26:32,167 可是我不会过期啊 268 00:26:33,750 --> 00:26:35,708 蒜味很重欸 269 00:26:39,125 --> 00:26:42,500 蒜头就是Pesto 270 00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:46,917 咸水鸡是南国Pesto佐嫩鸡 271 00:26:46,917 --> 00:26:52,000 哇赛 你味精工厂啊 这么会唬烂 272 00:26:53,083 --> 00:26:54,875 你要懂得观想啊 273 00:26:56,958 --> 00:27:00,583 你脑袋里面想着欧洲 就会在欧洲啊 274 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:08,292 欸 今天有点奇怪 275 00:27:08,625 --> 00:27:11,042 上次吃脚脚的时候觉得是25.5 276 00:27:11,042 --> 00:27:12,958 今天怎么感觉是26啊 277 00:27:13,375 --> 00:27:14,750 烦捏 278 00:27:22,583 --> 00:27:25,625 小女生搭了两个小时客运你不陪她 279 00:27:26,333 --> 00:27:28,875 人很多 要排队好不好 280 00:27:28,875 --> 00:27:32,250 齁 这么夯 281 00:27:33,333 --> 00:27:34,917 她是 "19.5" 约的啊 282 00:27:34,917 --> 00:27:39,083 而且她后面还安排了一对孪生兄弟井 283 00:27:39,792 --> 00:27:41,333 刺激吧 284 00:27:42,125 --> 00:27:45,625 这么哈扣 然后咧 285 00:27:46,750 --> 00:27:49,042 然后我跟那个小女生 286 00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:51,542 就先在咖啡店里面坐着等 287 00:27:53,167 --> 00:27:58,083 我们两个戴着蓝牙耳机 288 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,000 很小声的 289 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,708 聊色 290 00:28:07,208 --> 00:28:10,083 我们家是家具行 291 00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:15,458 有一次趁大人不在家 292 00:28:17,125 --> 00:28:21,625 我和搬运哥哥在仓库里面 293 00:28:23,750 --> 00:28:26,792 忍不住亲亲抱抱起来 294 00:28:32,708 --> 00:28:34,208 然后呢 295 00:28:36,208 --> 00:28:37,417 然后呢 296 00:28:37,417 --> 00:28:41,750 然后 他的那个前面 297 00:28:41,750 --> 00:28:46,167 有点咸咸 腥腥的 298 00:28:47,292 --> 00:28:49,500 他的头 299 00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:53,625 像绷到不能再硬的气球 300 00:28:54,042 --> 00:28:56,000 好红喔 301 00:29:00,625 --> 00:29:04,625 我跟他就在旋转椅上面做 302 00:29:06,083 --> 00:29:11,208 一次次的在各种不同的椅子上做 303 00:29:11,208 --> 00:29:15,167 味道就都留在那些椅子上 304 00:29:18,875 --> 00:29:23,833 她说暑假的时候 305 00:29:23,833 --> 00:29:26,458 仓库很热 306 00:29:27,083 --> 00:29:32,417 流出来的汗水吹到窗口一点点的风 307 00:29:32,417 --> 00:29:34,625 凉凉的 308 00:29:36,333 --> 00:29:39,625 我在想如果有一天 309 00:29:40,250 --> 00:29:43,417 做爱后蒸发出来的味道 310 00:29:43,917 --> 00:29:47,292 会不会让坐在椅子上面的人 311 00:29:47,292 --> 00:29:49,708 莫名其妙的发情呢 312 00:29:51,083 --> 00:29:53,750 第一次虽然有点痛 313 00:29:55,083 --> 00:29:58,958 可是他的龟头慢慢的滑进来 314 00:29:58,958 --> 00:30:03,042 然后撑开 315 00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:08,750 撑开好像它本来就应该回到那个位置 316 00:30:09,292 --> 00:30:13,833 然后我的下面把它热热的包住 317 00:30:40,292 --> 00:30:42,458 那个来自火星的女孩 318 00:30:43,167 --> 00:30:46,750 看见了干涸多年的游泳池 319 00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:49,208 一直在那里等着 320 00:30:49,958 --> 00:30:53,125 这时候雨季来临 321 00:30:53,125 --> 00:30:55,667 它才从睡梦中醒来 322 00:31:02,792 --> 00:31:05,667 你死人哪 打算继续装聋作哑是不是 323 00:31:05,667 --> 00:31:08,167 遇到事情闷不吭声就是想激怒我嘛 324 00:31:08,167 --> 00:31:10,167 律师马上就会通知你 等着… 325 00:31:21,750 --> 00:31:23,583 干 白 326 00:31:24,167 --> 00:31:26,917 今天早上我又水漫金山寺了 327 00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:33,250 你每次听别人的故事就溃堤 328 00:31:33,250 --> 00:31:37,208 你不是说单亲霸不是菜吗 还约 329 00:31:37,208 --> 00:31:38,917 饭店点数要过期了 330 00:31:38,917 --> 00:31:40,375 是PUA 331 00:31:40,792 --> 00:31:42,500 什么PUA 我怎么可能被PUA 332 00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:44,833 我破麻专业户耶 还不了解 333 00:31:44,833 --> 00:31:46,917 那种ID人设是情伤浪子的 334 00:31:46,917 --> 00:31:49,208 百分百就是要激起圣母情结 335 00:31:49,208 --> 00:31:52,625 你吃了那男孩一整年的牛排 接下来他就要你... 336 00:31:52,625 --> 00:31:54,500 含他一整年的鸡巴 337 00:31:54,500 --> 00:31:57,292 欸 我们群里那个凉圆要上岸了 338 00:31:57,292 --> 00:31:59,375 我在想是什么厉害的角色把她捞起来 339 00:31:59,375 --> 00:32:00,500 结果查了一下 340 00:32:01,042 --> 00:32:02,042 你看 341 00:32:04,958 --> 00:32:06,542 怎么可能 342 00:32:06,542 --> 00:32:10,375 不是 凉圆不是外貌协会吗 这男的是... 343 00:32:11,333 --> 00:32:12,833 天赋异禀吗 344 00:32:13,833 --> 00:32:16,667 凉圆说一切都是缘份派他来的 345 00:32:17,167 --> 00:32:19,458 在她遇到这个男的之前连续几天 346 00:32:19,458 --> 00:32:22,167 她一直做满天都是金鱼游来游去的梦 347 00:32:22,167 --> 00:32:24,375 她去大稻埕找了一个很准的梦婆 348 00:32:24,375 --> 00:32:26,792 那个人就问她说 梦里面会有那种 349 00:32:26,792 --> 00:32:30,708 屁眼上面都是大便 拖着游来游去的那种金鱼 350 00:32:30,708 --> 00:32:34,000 凉圆整个吓烂 想说连这种细节她都知道 351 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,917 然后梦婆就说 你的缘份到了 352 00:32:36,917 --> 00:32:42,042 印表机…你们那个谁啊 不要在那边假会好不好 353 00:32:42,042 --> 00:32:44,375 调了印表机设定就要调回去啊 354 00:32:44,375 --> 00:32:45,458 又不是每个人都会用 355 00:32:45,458 --> 00:32:49,667 队长 这个是要给 -给那个谁 356 00:32:49,875 --> 00:32:54,042 监视器 看一下监视器 357 00:32:54,042 --> 00:32:55,917 那再麻烦学姊了 358 00:32:57,208 --> 00:32:58,833 然后呢… 359 00:32:59,958 --> 00:33:01,792 本来凉圆一见面就想闪人 360 00:33:01,792 --> 00:33:05,250 结果下大雨啊 那个男的就说要送她回家 361 00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:07,875 哪知道雨大到根本连车都开不过去 362 00:33:07,875 --> 00:33:10,750 那男的就背她涉水过街回家了 363 00:33:12,083 --> 00:33:14,125 你梗铺这么长就跟我说这些 364 00:33:15,083 --> 00:33:16,750 没想到一进门 365 00:33:16,750 --> 00:33:19,958 每天便秘的凉圆不知道为什么突然屎意充满 366 00:33:19,958 --> 00:33:21,958 藉口要洗澡就冲进厕所 367 00:33:21,958 --> 00:33:24,417 狂拉猛拉 大拉特拉 368 00:33:24,417 --> 00:33:26,208 我要生气罗 369 00:33:26,208 --> 00:33:29,708 那天淹大水的结果是大楼的屎管整个大倒灌 370 00:33:29,708 --> 00:33:31,792 喷的整个厕所都是 371 00:33:31,792 --> 00:33:34,250 凉圆就一直尖叫 啊天哪 大便 372 00:33:34,250 --> 00:33:36,000 好了啦 373 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:37,458 那个男的一听到 374 00:33:37,458 --> 00:33:39,375 不顾一切踹开门救出凉圆 375 00:33:39,750 --> 00:33:41,333 Happy ending 来了 376 00:33:42,125 --> 00:33:45,833 那个男的把一切的屎尿都清得干干净净 377 00:33:45,833 --> 00:33:47,458 事后绝口不提 378 00:33:51,833 --> 00:33:55,583 就这样凉圆决定 是他了 379 00:33:55,583 --> 00:33:57,042 全剧终 380 00:33:57,583 --> 00:34:00,833 你说 这不是纯爱吗 381 00:34:01,875 --> 00:34:05,417 白 我们去找那个梦婆好不好 382 00:34:07,708 --> 00:34:10,542 不要 我没有梦 383 00:34:16,833 --> 00:34:18,125 查无此梦 384 00:34:19,583 --> 00:34:22,292 就是我这边找不到你说的那个梦 385 00:34:22,292 --> 00:34:24,333 有可能它根本就不是梦 386 00:34:25,292 --> 00:34:28,000 来这边的人都是因为真假不分 387 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,917 执着在颠倒梦想里 388 00:34:30,917 --> 00:34:35,292 "假作真时真亦假 无为有处有还无" 389 00:34:38,042 --> 00:34:41,000 意思就是你把假的东西当作是真的 390 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,375 那真的东西就会变成假的 391 00:34:44,958 --> 00:34:46,167 啥洨 392 00:34:46,167 --> 00:34:50,583 耐心一点 我们可以把这个世界变成真的 393 00:34:50,583 --> 00:34:52,875 姊姊那你可以先告诉我梦的结局吗 394 00:34:52,875 --> 00:34:55,125 人生哪有快转这件事 395 00:34:55,125 --> 00:34:56,667 至于 396 00:35:11,292 --> 00:35:14,583 为什么你的梦总是同一个 397 00:35:15,167 --> 00:35:18,708 一直重复… 398 00:35:22,125 --> 00:35:25,208 名字 -Bajingan 399 00:35:25,917 --> 00:35:27,417 安全词 400 00:35:30,250 --> 00:35:31,417 掰掰 401 00:35:31,417 --> 00:35:32,833 再一次 402 00:35:37,667 --> 00:35:38,750 掰掰 403 00:37:44,375 --> 00:37:46,167 说你爱我 404 00:37:58,083 --> 00:37:59,708 说你爱我 405 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,917 说啊 406 00:38:21,167 --> 00:38:22,292 说啊 407 00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:28,250 说你爱我 408 00:38:28,250 --> 00:38:29,542 不要啦 409 00:38:29,542 --> 00:38:31,583 我就不要说那个嘛 410 00:38:54,625 --> 00:38:56,208 说你是我的 411 00:38:57,333 --> 00:38:58,625 说你是我的 412 00:39:00,375 --> 00:39:01,875 说你爱我 413 00:39:07,125 --> 00:39:08,333 你还好吗 414 00:39:13,417 --> 00:39:14,375 安全词 415 00:39:15,292 --> 00:39:16,292 安全词 416 00:40:25,375 --> 00:40:27,208 你可以先走没关系 417 00:41:04,750 --> 00:41:06,708 还有十五分钟 418 00:41:28,083 --> 00:41:30,167 慢慢就不痛了 419 00:41:37,958 --> 00:41:41,333 可是有些事情会一直在 420 00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:43,875 不会消失 421 00:42:05,750 --> 00:42:09,250 你温柔的慈悲 422 00:42:09,250 --> 00:42:13,250 让我不知道如何后悔 423 00:42:13,250 --> 00:42:17,375 再也不可能有任何改变 424 00:42:17,375 --> 00:42:20,792 再也愈合不了… 425 00:42:31,958 --> 00:42:35,167 陈为龙 反正你就是个没肩膀的鲁蛇 426 00:42:35,167 --> 00:42:37,208 东西寄过来 运费我出 427 00:42:37,208 --> 00:42:39,000 不要再卢洨了 428 00:42:50,375 --> 00:42:51,542 Neko 429 00:42:52,375 --> 00:42:54,458 你再不回来 430 00:42:54,458 --> 00:42:56,917 我把这些公仔全部都丢掉 431 00:43:02,875 --> 00:43:05,167 你老母不要你了 432 00:43:39,667 --> 00:43:42,625 干 吃我钱 433 00:43:42,625 --> 00:43:46,917 烦耶操你妈 吃我们20块 还我钱啦 434 00:43:56,583 --> 00:44:00,042 喂 张小姐 你机台又吃我们钱啦 435 00:44:00,042 --> 00:44:03,500 吃我20块 快点过来 快点 436 00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:06,833 这边有啦 -这边这边 过来 快点 437 00:44:06,833 --> 00:44:08,583 可以把它摇下来 438 00:44:08,583 --> 00:44:11,125 妈的 滚出来 439 00:44:14,125 --> 00:44:15,542 边一部 440 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:18,375 边一部 441 00:44:21,500 --> 00:44:22,875 哪一台 442 00:45:03,792 --> 00:45:05,417 我儿子下周回来 443 00:45:05,417 --> 00:45:07,750 我想带他去环岛走一走 444 00:45:12,125 --> 00:45:13,417 这么巧 445 00:45:14,083 --> 00:45:16,250 Lorraine刚好也要回来 446 00:45:16,250 --> 00:45:18,417 要不要我安排一下行程 447 00:45:21,333 --> 00:45:23,875 我们现在这样不是很舒服吗 448 00:45:38,833 --> 00:45:41,375 我最近开始又动笔写小说了 449 00:45:43,875 --> 00:45:46,042 你又再度心动罗 450 00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:55,125 这次是哪个缪思 451 00:45:56,958 --> 00:45:59,625 是个像火星人一样的女生 452 00:46:01,542 --> 00:46:03,417 跟其他人不太一样 453 00:46:11,125 --> 00:46:13,125 那你还来找我 454 00:46:14,583 --> 00:46:17,375 你是我避免迷航的指南针啊 455 00:46:22,542 --> 00:46:25,125 你有给她专属旋律吗 456 00:46:28,750 --> 00:46:31,000 赶快去煮你的马赛鱼汤啊 457 00:46:43,833 --> 00:46:45,458 也不是这个 458 00:46:57,542 --> 00:46:59,375 好像是欸 459 00:47:03,542 --> 00:47:05,042 来吧 460 00:47:22,375 --> 00:47:24,292 不好意思 你有没有怎么样 461 00:47:24,292 --> 00:47:26,958 冲啥洨啊 -你有没有受伤 462 00:47:41,042 --> 00:47:44,500 欸 那个 刚刚拍的可以发限动吗 463 00:47:44,500 --> 00:47:48,500 喔 欸 你刚最后弹的那首是什么啊 464 00:47:48,500 --> 00:47:50,875 你说让你很湿的那一首喔 465 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,958 来我们脚放下去试一下水温 466 00:48:16,958 --> 00:48:20,333 水温可以吗 那先泡一下 谢谢 467 00:48:22,417 --> 00:48:24,750 我的妈那个屄的把你屄的他妈操烂 468 00:48:24,750 --> 00:48:26,333 我操你妈的 469 00:48:26,333 --> 00:48:28,167 今天晚上他妈给我舔屄喔 470 00:48:28,167 --> 00:48:32,000 操你妈 听到没 啊 给我舔屄 471 00:48:33,583 --> 00:48:37,583 你看 我的是不是很硬啊 472 00:48:37,583 --> 00:48:39,542 这样有很猛吗 473 00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:42,750 啥款 474 00:48:42,750 --> 00:48:46,542 你猜 什么是巴西里佐海盐嫩鸡 475 00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,625 等一下带过去给你 476 00:49:27,250 --> 00:49:28,625 还在忙吗 477 00:49:30,333 --> 00:49:33,625 我是说多多咸水鸡啦 478 00:49:33,625 --> 00:49:35,625 好想吃多多 479 00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:06,667 (把女生的床弄垮了 哭哭) 480 00:50:17,417 --> 00:50:19,583 小姐可不可以先让我填单啊 481 00:50:21,542 --> 00:50:24,500 这什么意思 没了 482 00:50:24,500 --> 00:50:25,958 全部都没了吗 -没有罗 483 00:50:25,958 --> 00:50:27,833 可是他刚才在点啊 -后面的不用排了没有了 484 00:50:27,833 --> 00:50:30,208 我刚刚等了一个多小时 -没有了 都没有了 485 00:50:30,208 --> 00:50:32,375 那你应该提前跟我们讲 不然我刚才排… 486 00:50:32,375 --> 00:50:35,167 没有了 就已经卖完了 487 00:50:39,708 --> 00:50:42,708 哥哥 没了就没罗 488 00:50:43,833 --> 00:50:46,792 靠 你也让我等太久了吧 你也真是 489 00:50:47,417 --> 00:50:48,708 干嘛 490 00:50:50,125 --> 00:50:52,583 等一下 冷静冷静 491 00:50:52,583 --> 00:50:54,667 违反道上规矩不行喔 492 00:50:55,542 --> 00:50:59,792 有什么关系 规矩就是拿来打破才会爽 走啦 493 00:50:59,792 --> 00:51:02,583 哪有人在外面牵手的啦 494 00:51:03,083 --> 00:51:07,500 肚子很饿耶 我为了你排了一个多小时 快点 495 00:51:18,542 --> 00:51:21,000 欸不要忙了啦 先来吃啦 496 00:51:25,208 --> 00:51:27,750 好吃吗 -不太行 497 00:51:28,500 --> 00:51:32,333 是吗 是因为你没有装在盘子里啦 498 00:51:33,542 --> 00:51:36,375 这样比较有吃饭的样子啊 有没有 499 00:51:37,833 --> 00:51:39,583 这就是好吃的样子 500 00:51:40,625 --> 00:51:43,833 要确定耶 -试试看 501 00:51:47,042 --> 00:51:48,458 怎么样 说实话 502 00:51:50,250 --> 00:51:52,833 嗯 差多多一点 503 00:51:52,833 --> 00:51:54,875 差多多可多了欸 504 00:51:55,500 --> 00:51:57,208 多多就跟我一样是极品 505 00:51:57,208 --> 00:51:59,542 可遇不可求 想吃还吃不到 506 00:51:59,542 --> 00:52:01,833 啊不就刚好我捡到你 507 00:52:03,708 --> 00:52:05,875 我也是顺路来看我的兰花女儿啊 508 00:52:05,875 --> 00:52:08,333 你看你这个后母怎么照顾的 509 00:52:08,333 --> 00:52:09,667 快要烂根了啦 510 00:52:09,667 --> 00:52:13,458 哪有啊 你每次打电话来我都有照着你讲的浇水 511 00:52:15,500 --> 00:52:18,292 你就比较不会照顾自己啊 512 00:52:18,292 --> 00:52:20,583 你看你的床 睡到都垮了 513 00:52:21,333 --> 00:52:23,167 我之前那个专属的蓝色床包呢 514 00:52:23,167 --> 00:52:25,458 你真的很像我爸一直碎碎念 515 00:52:25,458 --> 00:52:27,417 你不要动拜托我自己来啦 516 00:52:28,708 --> 00:52:30,083 小心啦 517 00:52:32,542 --> 00:52:34,000 摊开啊 518 00:52:42,875 --> 00:52:45,250 两个人一起换床单还是太超过了 519 00:52:45,250 --> 00:52:46,292 不要闹啦 520 00:52:47,333 --> 00:52:48,292 干嘛 521 00:52:48,500 --> 00:52:52,875 会让你回想到曾经一起换床单心痛的回忆吗 522 00:52:58,625 --> 00:53:02,125 干 那个小屌男 523 00:53:02,125 --> 00:53:05,750 干嘛 -这是我最喜欢的小说欸 524 00:53:07,917 --> 00:53:10,417 你也喜欢这本纯爱小说喔 525 00:53:10,792 --> 00:53:12,750 "最初的心动" 526 00:53:13,792 --> 00:53:15,292 破掉 527 00:53:17,792 --> 00:53:20,917 这当年在网路上连载超级好看的 528 00:53:21,333 --> 00:53:24,125 真的好想知道他们的后续喔 529 00:53:24,875 --> 00:53:27,750 不知道为什么那个二等文豪不写了 530 00:53:31,792 --> 00:53:34,042 继续写会烂尾吧 531 00:53:37,375 --> 00:53:40,500 主角他们要是认识到最真实的彼此啊 532 00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:42,292 故事就结束了 533 00:53:42,292 --> 00:53:46,292 你说认识彼此 纯爱就不纯爱了 534 00:53:47,458 --> 00:53:50,042 我是说 你口中那个二等文豪啊 535 00:53:50,042 --> 00:53:51,167 有可能啊… 536 00:53:51,167 --> 00:53:53,833 他在现实生活当中只是一个… 537 00:53:53,833 --> 00:53:57,667 会随便乱尬的...烂咖 538 00:54:04,167 --> 00:54:06,500 纯爱还是太逼人了 539 00:54:08,292 --> 00:54:11,625 还是早点认清我自己是个破麻 540 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,667 "人面不知何处去" 541 00:54:25,833 --> 00:54:28,958 干 那什么破脸啊 干嘛 542 00:54:28,958 --> 00:54:31,375 以为自己真的是二等文豪喔 543 00:54:33,667 --> 00:54:34,917 我是啊 544 00:54:50,708 --> 00:54:52,667 是炮友要接也没关系啊 545 00:54:52,667 --> 00:54:55,083 我今天那个来 先去洗澡 546 00:54:56,375 --> 00:54:58,292 你那个来我不介意喔 547 00:54:59,125 --> 00:55:00,833 想要闯红灯喔 548 00:55:00,833 --> 00:55:04,333 万一我真的是警察 小心我开单喔 549 00:55:36,125 --> 00:55:41,167 (Something came up. Fixed the bed 550 00:55:41,167 --> 00:55:44,958 是我自己不想回台湾的 你不用逼妈妈 551 00:55:44,958 --> 00:55:49,625 我不知道你在说什么喔 而且我没逼你妈啊 552 00:55:49,625 --> 00:55:53,875 你手机拿高一点让我看看你 拿高一点 553 00:55:55,125 --> 00:55:57,042 你妈在你旁边啊 554 00:55:59,083 --> 00:56:01,750 那你的意思是我可以不用回台湾罗 555 00:56:01,750 --> 00:56:04,083 那你干嘛叫妈妈找律师 556 00:56:04,083 --> 00:56:07,250 那你跟爸爸说 你为什么不想回来看到我 557 00:56:07,250 --> 00:56:09,083 我长大了 今年不想 558 00:56:09,083 --> 00:56:10,750 请尊重我的意愿 掰 559 00:56:10,750 --> 00:56:13,000 Lorraine别挂 我再跟你说两句 560 00:56:20,833 --> 00:56:25,250 泳池的身体那年刚补满水 561 00:56:25,250 --> 00:56:28,292 等着夏日恋情绽放 562 00:56:29,458 --> 00:56:33,625 他以为是失温的鸡皮疙瘩 563 00:56:33,625 --> 00:56:38,042 靠近才知道是天鹅绒般的花瓣 564 00:56:39,625 --> 00:56:40,917 火辣 565 00:56:44,042 --> 00:56:46,208 我教你接吻 566 00:56:46,208 --> 00:56:48,667 想像那里是她的嘴唇 567 00:57:17,500 --> 00:57:21,917 如果你是女生 568 00:57:21,917 --> 00:57:24,500 我一定会很喜欢你 569 00:57:34,542 --> 00:57:38,167 这个好像还不错喔 -还可以还行 570 00:57:38,417 --> 00:57:41,042 但跟我们家宝贝的气质还差一点 571 00:57:41,042 --> 00:57:43,417 还在找真爱啊 572 00:57:44,167 --> 00:57:46,875 没啊 那你呢 573 00:57:49,917 --> 00:57:52,208 没啊 这些纯炮友而已 574 00:57:56,083 --> 00:58:00,542 就算有真爱 你我都逃不出这一局 575 00:58:01,542 --> 00:58:05,167 你看我们 金童玉女 576 00:58:06,375 --> 00:58:08,875 我赌你先输 577 00:58:11,458 --> 00:58:13,500 这是谁啊 578 00:58:14,667 --> 00:58:19,250 你外婆呀 外婆 579 00:58:23,625 --> 00:58:26,083 陈为龙 580 00:58:26,083 --> 00:58:29,625 我是望你成龙 怎知变成虫 581 00:58:29,625 --> 00:58:32,083 整天玩手机 582 00:58:33,375 --> 00:58:34,917 婆婆 583 00:58:37,375 --> 00:58:41,583 好了好了不要拍了 快点啦快点 584 00:58:43,167 --> 00:58:49,375 小时候你妈当你叉烧不如 要把你丢了 585 00:58:49,375 --> 00:58:53,042 还好是我把你带回来 养这么大 586 00:58:53,042 --> 00:58:55,667 结果还是叉烧不如 587 00:59:07,708 --> 00:59:11,500 陈为龙 妇产科诊所我找好了 588 00:59:11,500 --> 00:59:16,167 下礼拜五 四点半 手术要有人签字陪同 589 00:59:20,125 --> 00:59:24,583 还有后天实战秀是已经答应的工作 一定得去 590 00:59:24,583 --> 00:59:28,417 你要是敢不来的话 我马上把夹娃娃机的押金没收 591 00:59:28,417 --> 00:59:32,000 最后提醒你 我不是你的狗了 592 00:59:42,333 --> 00:59:44,125 嘿 最近好吗 593 00:59:46,167 --> 00:59:49,708 Jason 等下跟你喝 594 00:59:51,250 --> 00:59:52,250 嗨 Matt 595 00:59:52,250 --> 00:59:55,500 嗨 好久不见 596 00:59:58,250 --> 01:00:00,958 气色不错啊 -谢了 597 01:00:06,625 --> 01:00:10,208 我今晚不回家 你开心玩啊 598 01:00:11,208 --> 01:00:12,958 走吧 玩到爽啊 599 01:00:13,875 --> 01:00:15,458 嗨 Matt 600 01:00:15,458 --> 01:00:18,000 恭喜 -谢啦 601 01:00:31,125 --> 01:00:32,500 Neko 602 01:00:34,208 --> 01:00:38,167 对不起 之前的事是我的错 603 01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:43,417 我们今天不要绑 好不好 604 01:00:44,542 --> 01:00:46,708 下一组Neko 605 01:00:50,083 --> 01:00:53,333 上工了 把你的苦瓜脸遮起来 606 01:01:02,542 --> 01:01:13,542 现在让我们来欢迎 Neko和外卖屌 607 01:01:37,042 --> 01:01:40,125 宝宝的事我会负责 回来吧 608 01:01:46,833 --> 01:01:48,792 算我求你了 609 01:01:54,208 --> 01:01:58,583 难道我们就一点点爱都没有吗 一点点爱 610 01:01:59,250 --> 01:02:01,792 打炮什么时候是为了生宝宝啊 611 01:02:02,042 --> 01:02:05,375 干 他妈我有说小孩是你的吗 612 01:02:05,375 --> 01:02:07,375 快点硬起来啦 613 01:02:07,375 --> 01:02:13,000 你就这么想让人看吗 好啊 看啊 614 01:02:18,792 --> 01:02:22,875 对 我就是只外卖屌你想换就换 615 01:02:22,875 --> 01:02:25,250 你在干嘛 -我不玩了行不行 616 01:02:25,250 --> 01:02:27,750 干 疯女人 617 01:02:34,958 --> 01:02:37,917 欸新郎 -过来过来 618 01:02:37,917 --> 01:02:40,542 先生不好意思 总监她还在补妆 619 01:02:40,542 --> 01:02:41,958 是不是再稍等一下 620 01:02:41,958 --> 01:02:43,458 是吗 621 01:02:46,750 --> 01:02:50,792 对不起 你这礼拜有空吗 我们老地方见 622 01:02:52,542 --> 01:02:54,792 来 家属一起复诵 623 01:02:54,792 --> 01:02:57,208 阿嬷过门厅喔… 624 01:02:57,208 --> 01:02:58,917 南无阿弥陀佛 625 01:02:59,792 --> 01:03:04,125 这什么鬼 你们是忍者喔 626 01:03:04,667 --> 01:03:09,083 阿嬷入新厝喔… 627 01:03:09,083 --> 01:03:13,333 天堂欢迎你...还是地狱 628 01:03:20,333 --> 01:03:23,708 好看 -拉一下裙摆 很好 629 01:03:23,708 --> 01:03:29,708 欸 不要忘了笑喔 仙女下凡了 630 01:03:30,875 --> 01:03:34,417 很好ok 裙摆再动一下 -记得笑 631 01:03:36,292 --> 01:03:40,250 记得笑 632 01:03:48,750 --> 01:03:53,125 蔻里安佐海味米浓汤就是海鲜粥加香菜啊 633 01:03:54,833 --> 01:03:57,250 蔻里安就是香菜 634 01:03:57,250 --> 01:04:00,375 这么假掰你也猜得到 635 01:04:00,375 --> 01:04:01,958 算你厉害 636 01:04:01,958 --> 01:04:05,125 报告长官 这位女士要报性侵案 637 01:04:06,792 --> 01:04:08,875 当事人是哪一位 638 01:04:11,625 --> 01:04:13,042 这边请 639 01:04:16,208 --> 01:04:19,083 我女儿一定是被强迫的 -没有 640 01:04:19,083 --> 01:04:21,167 你说什么没有 641 01:04:24,917 --> 01:04:28,125 好… 642 01:04:29,167 --> 01:04:31,583 他们的确有付我外拍费 643 01:04:31,583 --> 01:04:34,708 怎么样 这样有犯法吗 644 01:04:34,708 --> 01:04:40,458 代号 "19.5" "孪生兄弟井" "单亲霸" 645 01:04:40,458 --> 01:04:42,250 总共四个对吗 646 01:04:43,250 --> 01:04:47,958 那你再猜 粥为什么放了两天都不会凉 647 01:04:47,958 --> 01:04:51,667 因为周休二日 648 01:04:53,292 --> 01:04:55,500 也太心有灵犀了吧 649 01:04:55,500 --> 01:05:00,375 有一家超好吃的海产粥 我请你 650 01:05:26,750 --> 01:05:28,833 你到底在哪里 651 01:05:31,708 --> 01:05:34,708 狗奴敢耍主人喔 你完蛋了 652 01:06:18,875 --> 01:06:22,542 没关系 看你要去哪 653 01:06:41,292 --> 01:06:42,667 逆向了 654 01:06:52,792 --> 01:06:57,625 小朋友 小小树苗飞啊飞 655 01:06:57,625 --> 01:07:00,625 小小树苗躲起来 656 01:07:56,125 --> 01:07:59,250 会不会开车啊 单行道耶 657 01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:05,875 踩刹车 方向盘左打 658 01:08:11,250 --> 01:08:12,750 不要慌 659 01:08:20,708 --> 01:08:22,250 油门轻踩 660 01:08:41,708 --> 01:08:44,000 原来你真的是单亲爸喔 661 01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:47,833 我还以为你是味素工厂 讲什么都加料 662 01:08:49,167 --> 01:08:52,000 我是一个劈过腿说过谎的人啊 663 01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:54,042 但我后来学会了说真话 664 01:08:54,042 --> 01:08:56,917 就一切简单了 就不会再痛苦了 665 01:09:02,375 --> 01:09:05,375 猪笼草喔 酷喔 666 01:09:05,708 --> 01:09:09,500 欸 没礼貌 人家是仙履兰 是兰花 667 01:09:09,500 --> 01:09:13,292 干嘛 又生气 -跟她说对不起 668 01:09:15,375 --> 01:09:16,542 我的花 669 01:09:18,708 --> 01:09:20,458 你把她救活罗 670 01:09:20,458 --> 01:09:22,875 我就跟你说不能浇太多水 671 01:09:22,875 --> 01:09:25,042 我不浇水她就活啦 672 01:09:28,500 --> 01:09:32,917 咦 你叫什么名字 673 01:09:34,292 --> 01:09:35,583 布丁 674 01:09:35,583 --> 01:09:38,750 布丁 布丁你好 675 01:09:39,917 --> 01:09:41,917 画面有点感人 676 01:09:41,917 --> 01:09:43,667 它大概有一百年不让我抱了 677 01:09:43,667 --> 01:09:45,875 我不知道喔 我没有勾引它 678 01:09:49,333 --> 01:09:52,375 欸 不嘴炮 679 01:09:52,375 --> 01:09:54,208 我给你一次机会 680 01:09:55,875 --> 01:09:58,333 问我一个问题 我诚实回答 681 01:09:58,333 --> 01:10:00,458 保证不掺味素 682 01:10:00,917 --> 01:10:04,292 一个 神灯不都是三个愿望 683 01:10:06,500 --> 01:10:08,958 贪心 好啊 三个就三个 684 01:10:08,958 --> 01:10:12,042 那你想拿什么秘密来换 685 01:10:19,458 --> 01:10:22,292 跟你介绍一下 这个是… 686 01:10:22,292 --> 01:10:23,625 我知道 687 01:10:24,917 --> 01:10:26,417 你怎么知道 688 01:10:45,333 --> 01:10:48,417 现在餐桌礼仪不是要先拍照吗 689 01:10:49,667 --> 01:10:52,667 可是我吃到传说中的马赛鱼汤 690 01:10:55,375 --> 01:10:58,375 你的不一样 691 01:10:58,375 --> 01:11:00,042 我加了粥 692 01:11:08,792 --> 01:11:10,792 我去洗香香 693 01:11:13,167 --> 01:11:17,542 我想跟你一起洗 -不要 我还要大便 694 01:11:17,542 --> 01:11:19,375 好啦 我们一起洗澡啦 695 01:11:19,375 --> 01:11:22,417 不要 不行 -我想跟你一起洗 696 01:11:26,542 --> 01:11:27,792 喔 697 01:11:29,208 --> 01:11:32,333 你有我一支还不够喔 要那么多支喔 698 01:11:33,375 --> 01:11:34,333 对呀 699 01:11:45,500 --> 01:11:48,375 小绿老师 手机跳提醒耶 700 01:11:50,125 --> 01:11:52,500 明天早上八点要帮学生补考 701 01:11:53,542 --> 01:11:55,958 干 忘记 谢谢 702 01:12:01,833 --> 01:12:03,042 白 703 01:12:04,125 --> 01:12:06,250 原来他说的都是真的 704 01:12:07,250 --> 01:12:10,292 而且我吃到传说中的马赛鱼汤了 705 01:12:13,000 --> 01:12:16,542 他刚还对我生气 超好笑 706 01:12:32,792 --> 01:12:37,708 如果没想去哪的话 就跟我走吧 707 01:12:49,083 --> 01:12:52,417 如果是比较快乐的做爱 708 01:12:52,417 --> 01:12:57,000 生出来的小孩 应该会比较幸福吧 709 01:12:59,583 --> 01:13:05,333 像我就是那种年终周年庆来一炮 710 01:13:05,333 --> 01:13:07,208 跟赠品一样 711 01:13:07,958 --> 01:13:14,375 你才不是 你很特别 712 01:13:14,375 --> 01:13:16,625 好像火星人一样 713 01:13:17,875 --> 01:13:21,792 反而都在问我别的女生不会问的事 714 01:13:24,208 --> 01:13:26,667 其实我只是想知道 715 01:13:26,667 --> 01:13:29,167 到南天门是什么感觉 716 01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:34,125 我好想知道那些人说 717 01:13:34,125 --> 01:13:37,458 干死我吧 干死我 718 01:13:38,792 --> 01:13:41,125 是不是死了以后 719 01:13:41,125 --> 01:13:47,458 隔天醒来就可以变成一个新的好人了 720 01:14:02,750 --> 01:14:04,792 别人都已经走了 721 01:14:06,417 --> 01:14:08,625 我们还在原地想 722 01:14:14,708 --> 01:14:16,875 他为什么这么狠 723 01:14:18,417 --> 01:14:21,542 可是想想 当初自己也狠过啊 724 01:14:24,042 --> 01:14:24,875 因为... 725 01:14:32,750 --> 01:14:35,042 我不想再骗我自己了 726 01:15:42,542 --> 01:15:43,750 姓名 727 01:15:47,625 --> 01:15:49,583 说你爱我 728 01:15:55,042 --> 01:15:56,125 住手 729 01:16:51,333 --> 01:16:53,292 说你爱我 730 01:17:25,667 --> 01:17:26,667 别扯 731 01:17:26,667 --> 01:17:27,750 不行 732 01:17:27,750 --> 01:17:28,958 别扯啊 733 01:17:31,208 --> 01:17:32,125 住手 734 01:18:18,500 --> 01:18:20,458 我再也受不了了 735 01:18:32,958 --> 01:18:34,958 昨天 736 01:18:34,958 --> 01:18:37,292 今天 到永远 737 01:18:52,958 --> 01:18:55,167 你爱我 对吧 738 01:18:58,667 --> 01:19:00,500 说你爱我 739 01:19:06,042 --> 01:19:07,333 爽不爽 740 01:19:07,708 --> 01:19:08,708 不要 741 01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:12,875 说啊 742 01:19:12,875 --> 01:19:13,917 不要 743 01:19:14,333 --> 01:19:16,125 爽要叫啊 744 01:19:16,667 --> 01:19:17,750 说啊 745 01:19:18,583 --> 01:19:19,542 说啊 746 01:19:20,292 --> 01:19:21,083 说啊 747 01:19:22,542 --> 01:19:23,458 停下来 748 01:19:29,917 --> 01:19:31,375 说你爱我 749 01:20:05,250 --> 01:20:10,292 现在是中华民国112年5月11日 上午10点30分 750 01:20:10,292 --> 01:20:12,125 侦讯笔录开始 751 01:20:13,417 --> 01:20:15,792 姓名 出生年月日 752 01:20:17,625 --> 01:20:21,167 陈健元 民国71年7月19 753 01:20:22,250 --> 01:20:27,625 陈健元 你涉及用金钱诱迫未成年少女发生性行为 754 01:20:27,625 --> 01:20:28,833 我们有证据证明 755 01:20:28,833 --> 01:20:32,417 你跟ID代号 "南瓜女孩" 进行性交易 756 01:20:34,208 --> 01:20:38,042 我是有跟她见面 但我们只有聊天 757 01:20:38,042 --> 01:20:42,167 可是所有的嫌疑人跟当事人都指控你耶 758 01:20:42,167 --> 01:20:44,250 说你有参与其中 759 01:20:45,208 --> 01:20:48,667 我当事人只有到车站接送该女并没有参与 760 01:20:48,667 --> 01:20:50,958 请警方协助调阅旅馆监视器 761 01:20:50,958 --> 01:20:53,125 就可以证明我当事人没有参与 762 01:20:53,125 --> 01:20:56,250 所有相关地点的监视器我们都有拍到你 763 01:20:57,292 --> 01:20:59,333 我没有进去那家旅馆 764 01:20:59,333 --> 01:21:01,333 我刚说了 我就只有... 765 01:21:02,167 --> 01:21:03,792 只有怎么样 766 01:21:04,375 --> 01:21:07,667 我就只有... 767 01:21:07,667 --> 01:21:09,375 听她说故事 768 01:21:26,125 --> 01:21:29,917 学姐 你还在修那个未成年性侵案的旅馆硬碟喔 769 01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:34,917 这我之前修过了 770 01:21:35,792 --> 01:21:37,042 没关系 771 01:21:40,125 --> 01:21:42,000 那学姐不好意思 我先走罗 772 01:21:51,208 --> 01:21:54,500 (档案恢复 6/100) 773 01:22:07,500 --> 01:22:09,375 学姐 我先走罗 774 01:22:12,917 --> 01:22:14,792 (档案修复失败) 775 01:22:20,917 --> 01:22:26,792 哈罗 对不起 这么晚吵醒大家起来上工洗地 776 01:22:26,792 --> 01:22:29,083 那个纯爱小王子性爱影片外流的事 777 01:22:29,083 --> 01:22:32,458 谁去查一下 他女朋友什么底 778 01:22:34,083 --> 01:22:35,500 我找到一个赞的耶 779 01:22:35,500 --> 01:22:37,667 他女朋友据说高中还没有毕业 780 01:22:37,667 --> 01:22:39,542 就在林森北做捞妹耶 781 01:22:40,417 --> 01:22:41,792 真假 782 01:22:42,333 --> 01:22:44,958 如果是真的就不要说谎 783 01:22:46,292 --> 01:22:48,958 没有比诚实更重要的事情 784 01:22:50,792 --> 01:22:53,417 是男人就担下来吧 785 01:22:57,500 --> 01:22:59,208 "在天编" 786 01:22:59,208 --> 01:23:03,292 我想 你直接在论坛上写篇抒情文好了 787 01:23:03,292 --> 01:23:10,208 你就写你… 788 01:23:10,208 --> 01:23:11,542 梦见... 789 01:23:14,792 --> 01:23:18,667 当王子在欢场遇到那个女孩的开始 790 01:23:18,667 --> 01:23:21,583 其实就发现他原来是个人鱼 791 01:23:23,292 --> 01:23:25,208 但王子不在意啊 792 01:23:27,583 --> 01:23:28,833 真的吗 793 01:23:32,417 --> 01:23:36,750 爱情故事里都需要纯爱的王子 对吧 794 01:24:55,625 --> 01:24:57,833 硬碟救回来了 795 01:24:57,833 --> 01:25:00,417 其实我不应该跟你泄漏案情 796 01:25:00,417 --> 01:25:03,375 但你的律师晚点就会通知你没事了 797 01:25:06,833 --> 01:25:08,208 太好啦 798 01:25:09,083 --> 01:25:10,500 谢谢你 799 01:25:12,500 --> 01:25:15,208 我现在好想冲过去抱抱你喔 800 01:25:18,750 --> 01:25:20,167 其实我也好高兴喔 801 01:25:20,167 --> 01:25:22,250 原来你就是二等文豪 802 01:25:23,750 --> 01:25:29,500 糟糕 现在我的底细被你摸得一清二楚罗 803 01:25:31,542 --> 01:25:36,958 希望认识彼此不是关系破灭的开始 804 01:25:42,667 --> 01:25:45,250 我想再吃一次鱼汤 805 01:25:45,708 --> 01:25:47,333 当然没问题啊 806 01:25:49,000 --> 01:25:50,792 我找一间好餐厅 807 01:25:52,542 --> 01:25:55,083 去你的秘密花园就行啦 808 01:26:03,208 --> 01:26:04,458 也可以 809 01:26:06,750 --> 01:26:09,750 关于你的事情 我绝对不会告诉别人的 810 01:26:11,583 --> 01:26:13,375 我的什么事 811 01:26:15,292 --> 01:26:19,208 比如说其实你是个警察 812 01:26:19,208 --> 01:26:22,792 然后 又像是一个火星来的人 813 01:26:28,000 --> 01:26:29,833 我是真的不在意 814 01:26:32,250 --> 01:26:35,417 但是我希望你亲口告诉我 815 01:26:41,625 --> 01:26:44,167 "我绝对不会告诉别人的" 816 01:26:46,542 --> 01:26:48,625 "我是真的不在意" 817 01:26:59,125 --> 01:27:01,042 好熟悉喔 818 01:27:03,875 --> 01:27:06,083 好像什么的前奏一样 819 01:27:17,042 --> 01:27:20,833 我是真心的 820 01:27:20,833 --> 01:27:22,542 完全不在意 821 01:27:31,208 --> 01:27:33,500 连干话都说不出来罗 822 01:27:40,667 --> 01:27:42,667 总之我现在是真的 823 01:27:45,375 --> 01:27:47,625 我一直都是真的女人 824 01:27:54,542 --> 01:27:56,333 我的神灯 825 01:27:59,708 --> 01:28:03,083 下礼拜我生日 有趴踢喔 826 01:28:04,208 --> 01:28:06,125 我还有愿望还没许 827 01:28:07,500 --> 01:28:09,125 通告再发给你 828 01:28:26,625 --> 01:28:29,292 我在老地方等你 829 01:28:29,292 --> 01:28:31,125 我给你两倍的钱 三倍的钱 830 01:28:31,125 --> 01:28:34,250 拜托你来 拜托 831 01:28:48,583 --> 01:28:55,000 Neko 宝宝的事我们一起来想办法好不好 832 01:28:57,583 --> 01:29:02,167 一起 你先想好什么叫做在一起吧 833 01:29:28,583 --> 01:29:31,000 你在跟我开玩笑吗 -那我刚刚打给你怎么不接 834 01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:32,458 你现在给我立刻去机场接Lorraine 835 01:29:32,458 --> 01:29:35,375 你有没有搞错 Lorraine她才几岁 836 01:29:35,375 --> 01:29:36,917 你怎么会让她一个人搭飞机回来啊 837 01:29:36,917 --> 01:29:39,833 她就是瞒着我买的 你现在立刻马上去机… 838 01:29:46,083 --> 01:29:50,208 嘿Lorraine 你到了吗 你先不要乱跑 839 01:29:50,208 --> 01:29:53,250 你跟爸爸说你在哪里 我过去接你 840 01:29:53,667 --> 01:29:57,083 谢谢 我自己会搭车回家 我有钥匙 841 01:29:58,125 --> 01:30:01,917 好啊…还是你...你这几天 842 01:30:01,917 --> 01:30:05,000 喔 这几天有没有想要去哪里玩 843 01:30:05,000 --> 01:30:06,250 爸爸陪你出去玩好不好 844 01:30:06,250 --> 01:30:08,792 协议里面只有说我得回台湾吧 845 01:30:08,792 --> 01:30:10,875 没有说我要陪你度假 846 01:30:10,875 --> 01:30:14,875 我回来了就不要再逼妈妈了 把钱给她 847 01:30:16,208 --> 01:30:19,042 Lorraine 你注意一下你的态度 848 01:30:19,042 --> 01:30:20,333 你可以表达你的情绪 849 01:30:20,333 --> 01:30:22,333 但不表示你可以这样跟我说话 850 01:30:22,333 --> 01:30:25,750 麻烦检查一下你这句话的逻辑好吗 851 01:30:27,333 --> 01:30:29,042 你知道爸爸很爱你 852 01:30:29,042 --> 01:30:31,167 你把那句爱你对你手机里那些女生说 853 01:30:31,167 --> 01:30:33,042 看她们谁会信 854 01:30:52,667 --> 01:30:54,625 希望世界和平 855 01:30:55,125 --> 01:30:57,792 希望我今天可以 856 01:30:57,792 --> 01:30:59,750 一步登天 857 01:31:03,958 --> 01:31:05,417 南天门的天啊 858 01:31:09,042 --> 01:31:10,750 我要你 859 01:31:10,750 --> 01:31:12,417 干他 860 01:31:23,542 --> 01:31:25,708 警察姐姐的话要听喔 861 01:31:50,125 --> 01:31:53,500 如果这一切都搞得像输赢 862 01:31:53,500 --> 01:31:55,708 这样好可惜喔 863 01:35:21,250 --> 01:35:22,875 告诉我 864 01:35:22,875 --> 01:35:27,792 你在我身上弹的是什么歌 865 01:35:29,500 --> 01:35:31,333 我不要告诉你 866 01:35:32,083 --> 01:35:35,500 告诉你故事就结束了 867 01:36:02,208 --> 01:36:03,875 干死我 868 01:36:04,667 --> 01:36:06,333 干死我吧 869 01:36:07,667 --> 01:36:12,083 我也想变成一个好人 我也想 870 01:38:11,208 --> 01:38:14,917 心 跳漏了一拍 871 01:38:16,917 --> 01:38:20,083 原来那就是心动的最初 872 01:38:20,708 --> 01:38:22,583 纯爱的开始 873 01:38:32,208 --> 01:38:36,708 火星人在离开地球的漫长寒冷旅程中 874 01:38:37,583 --> 01:38:41,667 回忆着电光火石的瞬间取暖 875 01:38:42,583 --> 01:38:45,000 后来想起 876 01:38:45,000 --> 01:38:50,167 居然还有一点 火辣 877 01:39:12,333 --> 01:39:13,708 上岸啦 878 01:39:19,125 --> 01:39:21,083 什么时候再见面 59612

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