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1
00:00:48,567 --> 00:00:50,200
All right, everybody. All right.
2
00:00:50,234 --> 00:00:51,367
Mach schnell, schnell, schnell,
3
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:52,634
schnell, schnell,
schnell, schnell!
4
00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:54,200
All right, everybody.
Everybody, all right.
5
00:00:54,234 --> 00:00:55,701
Hey, Schultz, what's
going on here?
6
00:00:55,734 --> 00:00:56,868
We're not
having a party.
7
00:00:56,901 --> 00:00:58,367
Order of Colonel Klink,
8
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,367
all prisoners from Barracks 3
have to be moved in here.
9
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:02,801
Do these guys have
a reservation?
10
00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:04,801
This is no way
to run a hotel.
11
00:01:04,834 --> 00:01:06,467
I'm writing a letter
to the Red Cross.
12
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:07,868
And I'm going to
write a letter
13
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,067
to The Times,
straightaway.
14
00:01:10,834 --> 00:01:13,133
All right, all right,
hold it, hold it.
15
00:01:13,167 --> 00:01:15,501
Hold it. Hold it.
16
00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,000
What's our jolly innkeeper
up to now?
17
00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:18,334
Komm...
Well...
18
00:01:18,367 --> 00:01:20,534
Kommandant Klink
wants to make room
19
00:01:20,567 --> 00:01:22,167
for three more prisoners.
20
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,501
That's all I know.
21
00:01:23,534 --> 00:01:24,834
Is that all?
22
00:01:24,868 --> 00:01:26,467
For goodness sakes.
23
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,000
Oh, I'm sorry, Schultz,
would you care for some?
24
00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:33,968
I can't eat it all...
I'm on a diet.
25
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,267
On you, it wouldn't show.
26
00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:37,133
Chocolate, huh?
27
00:01:37,167 --> 00:01:39,634
Mm, chocolate.
28
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:42,634
What about those three
new prisoners, Schultz?
29
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:43,968
Three Americans.
30
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,467
They're on their way
31
00:01:45,501 --> 00:01:48,000
to a maximum security prison
in Berlin.
32
00:01:48,033 --> 00:01:49,501
They need a whole
barracks for that?
33
00:01:49,534 --> 00:01:52,667
The Gestapo doesn't want them
to talk to anyone.
34
00:01:52,701 --> 00:01:55,501
They must know something
pretty important, huh?
35
00:01:55,534 --> 00:01:59,667
Maybe they do,
but me, I know nothing.
36
00:01:59,701 --> 00:02:01,534
Noth...
37
00:02:02,868 --> 00:02:04,033
Mmm, nothing.
38
00:02:16,868 --> 00:02:18,100
Come in, come in.
39
00:02:19,868 --> 00:02:21,367
Ah, Hogan.
40
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,334
I understand you wish
to register a compliant
41
00:02:23,367 --> 00:02:25,367
because we're moving more men
into your barracks?
42
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,767
Yes, sir.
43
00:02:26,801 --> 00:02:29,534
Well, if you're not happy here,
44
00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:32,334
why don't you try another
foolish escape?
45
00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:33,701
Escape?
46
00:02:33,734 --> 00:02:35,234
Who'd want to
leave all this?
47
00:02:35,267 --> 00:02:36,701
Hogan, you're wasting my time.
48
00:02:36,734 --> 00:02:38,934
Your men will have to suffer
a little inconvenience.
49
00:02:38,968 --> 00:02:41,601
You know, overcrowding is
against the Geneva convention.
50
00:02:41,634 --> 00:02:43,834
Also under the rules
of the Geneva convention,
51
00:02:43,868 --> 00:02:46,868
I am not obliged
to share my cookies with you.
52
00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:48,334
I forgot to read
that part, sir.
53
00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:49,934
Come in, come in.
54
00:02:49,968 --> 00:02:51,167
Herr Kommandant.
55
00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:54,200
Captain Heinrich is here
56
00:02:54,234 --> 00:02:57,200
and the three Americans
are waiting in the truck.
57
00:02:57,234 --> 00:02:58,701
What? What?
58
00:03:00,234 --> 00:03:02,367
Women.
59
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,901
Women?
60
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:05,400
Women!
61
00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:06,400
Women.
62
00:03:06,434 --> 00:03:09,000
The prisoners are women?
63
00:03:09,033 --> 00:03:11,167
We are not set
up for women.
64
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,667
Why wasn't I notified?
65
00:03:12,701 --> 00:03:14,167
This is impossible.
66
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,934
Always Berlin sends
their problems to Klink.
67
00:03:16,968 --> 00:03:19,400
That's what you get
for being Mr. Nice Guy.
68
00:03:19,434 --> 00:03:21,968
Schultz, take these women
off the truck
69
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,868
and move them to Barracks 3.
70
00:03:23,901 --> 00:03:25,567
There's plenty of room
in my place, Schultz.
71
00:03:25,601 --> 00:03:26,601
Move the girls in with me.
72
00:03:26,634 --> 00:03:28,033
Jawohl...
Schultz!
73
00:03:28,067 --> 00:03:29,701
When do I get
to interrogate them, sir?
74
00:03:29,734 --> 00:03:31,534
You seem to forget
they are my prisoners.
75
00:03:31,567 --> 00:03:32,901
Now, Schultz,
76
00:03:32,934 --> 00:03:36,033
I want you to put them
under maximum security,
77
00:03:36,067 --> 00:03:38,100
and send Captain Heinrich in.
78
00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:39,701
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
79
00:03:39,734 --> 00:03:41,701
Hogan, dismissed.
80
00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:57,434
Hold it a minute, will ya?!
81
00:03:57,701 --> 00:03:59,167
Come on.
82
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,667
It's only temporary.
83
00:04:00,701 --> 00:04:02,734
Say, who are those three
new prisoners, anyway?
84
00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:04,200
Well, they've got
to be officers.
85
00:04:04,234 --> 00:04:07,100
Blimey, they always get
the icing off the cake.
86
00:04:07,234 --> 00:04:08,868
No offense, sir.
87
00:04:08,901 --> 00:04:10,033
They're not officers.
88
00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:11,367
They're maximum security
prisoners.
89
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,100
They must have
some valuable information
90
00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:15,200
or the Krauts wouldn't
be moving them to Berlin.
91
00:04:15,234 --> 00:04:16,701
Information
about what?
92
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,334
We won't know
until we make contact.
93
00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:19,834
How are we going
to do that?
94
00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:22,334
By digging out that old tunnel
to Barracks 3.
95
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,334
Dig and dig.
That's all we do.
96
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,667
All right, hold it,
hold it, will ya?
97
00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:30,834
Now we've dug an
ingenious tunnel system,
98
00:04:30,868 --> 00:04:32,000
and I'm proud of you.
99
00:04:32,033 --> 00:04:33,267
And I know you'll pitch in
100
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:35,501
and dig just one more
with the proper spirit.
101
00:04:35,534 --> 00:04:38,634
I didn't join the RAF
to become a ruddy gopher.
102
00:04:38,734 --> 00:04:39,868
I hate tunnels.
103
00:04:39,901 --> 00:04:42,200
I never even rode
on the Metro.
104
00:04:42,234 --> 00:04:44,534
Look, I can't order you
to dig this tunnel.
105
00:04:44,567 --> 00:04:46,267
I'm asking for volunteers.
106
00:04:48,534 --> 00:04:50,534
Oh, I see.
107
00:04:50,567 --> 00:04:52,367
That's the way it's
going to be, huh?
108
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,334
All right, I'll just have
to figure another way
109
00:04:55,367 --> 00:04:57,834
to make contact with
those three girls.
110
00:04:57,868 --> 00:04:59,000
Girls? Girls? Girls?
111
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:01,100
Sir, I hereby volunteer
for King and Empire.
112
00:05:01,133 --> 00:05:02,334
Moi aussi.
113
00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:03,801
Lafayette, I am here.
114
00:05:03,834 --> 00:05:05,400
I could be trampled to death
115
00:05:05,434 --> 00:05:07,534
by this sudden
display of patriotism.
116
00:05:07,567 --> 00:05:09,334
We British, sir,
have always felt very friendly
117
00:05:09,367 --> 00:05:10,601
towards you people
in the colonies.
118
00:05:10,634 --> 00:05:11,868
Oh, yeah?
119
00:05:11,901 --> 00:05:13,200
Where were you
when we sent them
120
00:05:13,234 --> 00:05:14,334
the Statue of Liberty?
121
00:05:15,534 --> 00:05:16,634
How long did it take us
122
00:05:16,667 --> 00:05:18,801
to dig that tunnel to
the barbed wire fence?
123
00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:20,934
Well, we used eight men,
and as I remember,
124
00:05:20,968 --> 00:05:22,367
it took us about...
16 hours.
125
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,367
Yeah, 16 hours.
126
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,033
All right,
this is twice the distance.
127
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:26,901
How long will it take
to get to the girls?
128
00:05:26,934 --> 00:05:28,834
About an hour-and-a-half, sir.
129
00:05:28,868 --> 00:05:30,767
I wouldn't let you
dig this alone.
130
00:05:30,801 --> 00:05:32,300
Well, with help, 20 minutes.
131
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,834
Look,
this is a military mission,
132
00:05:37,868 --> 00:05:39,334
not a friendship club.
133
00:05:39,367 --> 00:05:43,033
So, I'm going
to talk to the girls.
134
00:05:43,067 --> 00:05:46,033
That's a bit cheeky,
even for an officer.
135
00:05:46,067 --> 00:05:48,267
Do you know how long its been
since I've seen a woman?
136
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,100
It's been even longer
for me.
137
00:05:50,133 --> 00:05:51,501
Yeah, but I'm French.
138
00:05:51,534 --> 00:05:54,067
Couldn't we just shake hands
with them?
139
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:55,300
It would be the firing squad
140
00:05:55,334 --> 00:05:57,100
if you fellows were caught
with the girls.
141
00:05:57,133 --> 00:05:59,467
You weren't... I'm not going
to let you risk your lives.
142
00:05:59,501 --> 00:06:00,534
You weren't that worried
143
00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:02,734
when you sent me out there
to cut that barbed wire.
144
00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:05,467
Making contact
with those girls
145
00:06:05,501 --> 00:06:07,400
could be the turning
point in the war.
146
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:10,033
It would be for me.
147
00:06:10,067 --> 00:06:11,968
Then I can count on you
to dig the tunnel?
148
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,400
You can count on me, sir.
149
00:06:13,434 --> 00:06:15,234
With me bare hands
if necessary.
150
00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:16,501
Me, too.
151
00:06:16,534 --> 00:06:18,434
Just digging
within four feet of a woman
152
00:06:18,467 --> 00:06:20,267
is better
than never to have loved at all.
153
00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:29,834
I'd sure like to know what
they're going to do with us?
154
00:06:29,868 --> 00:06:31,033
I wouldn't.
155
00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:33,067
I'd feel a lot better
if we didn't have
156
00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:35,200
that Captain Heinrich
for a den mother.
157
00:06:35,234 --> 00:06:37,834
Yes, he's seen too many
Erich von Stroheim movies.
158
00:06:37,868 --> 00:06:40,501
Who's Erich von Stroheim?
159
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:41,667
He was before
your time, dear.
160
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:42,834
Shh.
161
00:06:42,868 --> 00:06:43,868
Quiet.
162
00:06:51,534 --> 00:06:53,834
Okay, come on.
163
00:07:01,367 --> 00:07:02,667
Hey!
164
00:07:02,701 --> 00:07:04,167
Wait a minute, hold it.
165
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,133
I'm an American and a veteran.
166
00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:07,767
We thought you were a German.
167
00:07:07,801 --> 00:07:09,167
Germans come through the door.
168
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,667
Americans come through
the floor.
169
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:12,434
Now look, mister,
we... Hold it, hold it.
170
00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:22,100
Hi. Colonel Robert E. Hogan,
171
00:07:22,133 --> 00:07:24,234
U.S. Army Air Corps,
semiretired.
172
00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:27,334
I'm Charlene Hemsley,
adagio dancer.
173
00:07:29,501 --> 00:07:32,667
I'm Ginger Wilson, and
this is Kathy Pruitt.
174
00:07:32,701 --> 00:07:34,000
She certainly is.
175
00:07:34,033 --> 00:07:36,267
Has anybody
interrogated you yet?
176
00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:38,033
That one guard
sort of got a little fresh.
177
00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:39,667
No, they just
178
00:07:39,701 --> 00:07:41,901
dumped us in here,
and we haven't seen anybody yet.
179
00:07:41,934 --> 00:07:44,267
Good. Look, according to
the Geneva convention,
180
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:46,801
you're not required
to give anything but your name,
181
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,501
your unit
and the key you sing in.
182
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:50,901
Should I tell them
I'm double-jointed?
183
00:07:50,934 --> 00:07:53,200
Only under extreme torture.
184
00:07:54,501 --> 00:07:55,968
How long will they keep us here?
185
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,534
They'll be moving you out
any minute.
186
00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:59,467
All right, now, listen,
this is important.
187
00:07:59,501 --> 00:08:02,667
Why are the Krauts
so interested in you three,
188
00:08:02,701 --> 00:08:04,834
aside from the obvious reasons?
189
00:08:04,868 --> 00:08:06,000
Beats me.
190
00:08:06,033 --> 00:08:07,334
We don't know.
191
00:08:07,367 --> 00:08:09,033
We really can't figure it out.
192
00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:11,667
You see, we were doing our act
for this infantry outfit
193
00:08:11,701 --> 00:08:12,868
when there was an attack.
194
00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,167
Well,
we jumped into a jeep,
195
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,501
and we thought we were heading
for headquarters.
196
00:08:16,534 --> 00:08:18,667
Well, the next thing we knew,
there we were
197
00:08:18,701 --> 00:08:22,167
hiding in an underground shelter
surrounded by Germans.
198
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,367
What was in the shelter?
199
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,033
A lot of very fresh soldiers.
200
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:28,334
Boy, was it scary.
201
00:08:28,367 --> 00:08:30,367
There were these
long, thin shells.
202
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,968
They looked
like torpedoes.
203
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,234
Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
204
00:08:33,267 --> 00:08:34,534
With, like,
little wings on them.
205
00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:36,534
Sort of like something
out of Buck Rogers.
206
00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:37,701
Torpedoes with wings...
207
00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,701
Buck Rogers...
208
00:08:40,901 --> 00:08:42,534
Rockets.
209
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:45,634
I was with them for two years.
210
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,567
Not Rockettes, dear.
211
00:08:48,601 --> 00:08:50,100
Rockets.
212
00:08:50,133 --> 00:08:51,467
A rocket base.
213
00:08:51,501 --> 00:08:52,968
That's what the Krauts
are hiding.
214
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,234
Where was it?
Don't ask me.
215
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,801
I couldn't even find my way
out of a telephone booth.
216
00:08:56,834 --> 00:08:58,567
How long did it take you
to get here?
217
00:08:58,601 --> 00:09:00,300
It was about four
hours. Yeah, right.
218
00:09:00,334 --> 00:09:02,501
By autobahn?
Highway?
219
00:09:02,534 --> 00:09:05,834
It was
a very bumpy road.
220
00:09:05,868 --> 00:09:08,834
A few minutes after we started,
we passed through a small town.
221
00:09:08,868 --> 00:09:11,834
There was a cathedral
with, like, a real tall spire.
222
00:09:11,868 --> 00:09:13,300
Yeah, that's Hofberg.
223
00:09:13,334 --> 00:09:16,367
It's about 80 miles
due east of here.
224
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,934
By truck, four hours would be
just about right.
225
00:09:22,367 --> 00:09:24,667
Welcome to Stalag 13, ladies.
226
00:09:24,701 --> 00:09:26,801
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
227
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:30,300
Newkirk's the name, ladies,
but you can call me Peter.
228
00:09:30,334 --> 00:09:32,334
Voilà.
229
00:09:32,367 --> 00:09:35,300
A little bouquet
to brighten up your room.
230
00:09:35,334 --> 00:09:36,434
He's a magician.
231
00:09:36,467 --> 00:09:39,200
I was held over two weeks
in Blackpool.
232
00:09:39,234 --> 00:09:41,367
Don't tell me, I know.
233
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,100
Back in the tunnel.
234
00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:52,834
♪ Yankee Doodle came to town ♪
235
00:09:52,868 --> 00:09:54,167
♪ Riding on a pony. ♪
236
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,501
We don't need
a concert, LeBeau.
237
00:09:56,534 --> 00:09:58,000
Both of you,
back in the tunnel.
238
00:09:58,033 --> 00:09:59,367
Now, sir,
I'm not going to let you
239
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,667
take the risk all on your own.
240
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:01,834
We're in this together...
241
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:04,000
The Union Jack
and the Star Spangled Banner.
242
00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:06,334
And let's not forget
the Statue of Liberty.
243
00:10:06,534 --> 00:10:08,601
You're cute.
244
00:10:09,667 --> 00:10:11,033
Hey, Colonel,
245
00:10:11,067 --> 00:10:13,701
are you authorized
to perform wedding ceremonies?
246
00:10:13,734 --> 00:10:15,200
Newkirk?
247
00:10:15,234 --> 00:10:17,367
Will you give
the bride away?
248
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,167
My pleasure...
249
00:10:21,234 --> 00:10:23,367
The door.
250
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,300
Who is it?
251
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:27,067
It's me, Sergeant Schultz.
252
00:10:30,868 --> 00:10:34,033
Oh. Oh, come in, Sergeant.
253
00:10:38,834 --> 00:10:42,200
Guten Morgen, Frauleins.
254
00:10:42,234 --> 00:10:46,334
I'm Sergeant Schultz.
255
00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:49,434
Very happy to meet you,
Sergeant.
256
00:10:50,534 --> 00:10:52,834
Eins... zwei...
257
00:10:52,868 --> 00:10:55,501
Where is drei?
258
00:10:55,534 --> 00:10:58,501
Oh, uh, well, she's
changing, Sergeant.
259
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,968
I brought you a bottle of wine
260
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,434
to make your stay here
more pleasant.
261
00:11:11,467 --> 00:11:13,501
It was very thoughtful
of you, Sergeant.
262
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,501
Eins... zwei...
263
00:11:26,534 --> 00:11:29,200
drei... vier.
264
00:11:29,234 --> 00:11:31,033
Drei is here.
265
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,133
Oh, Schultz,
you're too late.
266
00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:35,300
We already voted.
267
00:11:35,334 --> 00:11:36,467
Colonel Hogan,
268
00:11:36,501 --> 00:11:37,634
what are you
doing in here?!
269
00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:40,234
Schultz, we heard the guards
were having a party.
270
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,968
Thank you for
bringing the wine.
271
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,634
Please,
Colonel Hogan.
272
00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:44,801
I'll bet you
Commandant Klink
273
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,634
would take a very dim view
of this, Schultz.
274
00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:48,133
But if you don't tell
him we were here,
275
00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:49,334
we won't tell him
you were here.
276
00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:50,501
Where's the corkscrew?
277
00:11:50,534 --> 00:11:51,667
The corkscrew.
278
00:11:51,701 --> 00:11:53,000
No corkscrew!
279
00:11:53,033 --> 00:11:54,667
Back to the barracks
where you belong.
280
00:11:54,701 --> 00:11:57,167
Back, back,
back, back!
281
00:12:04,567 --> 00:12:06,767
Frauleins, this
is Kommandant Klink.
282
00:12:06,801 --> 00:12:08,567
Come in.
283
00:12:13,501 --> 00:12:16,067
Good morning,
Frauleins.
284
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:17,601
Good morning, Kommandant.
285
00:12:17,634 --> 00:12:20,634
I hope you're enjoying
your stay with us?
286
00:12:20,667 --> 00:12:22,567
Oh, yes, yes,
it's a very nice place to visit,
287
00:12:22,601 --> 00:12:24,000
but we'd really hate
to live here.
288
00:12:24,033 --> 00:12:26,200
You see, I think we're allergic
to barbed wire, dogs
289
00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:27,501
and German guards.
290
00:12:27,534 --> 00:12:28,868
Ah, ah, ah!
291
00:12:28,901 --> 00:12:32,200
It's all necessary
to maintain the reputation
292
00:12:32,234 --> 00:12:33,734
of Stalag 13
293
00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:36,868
as the toughest POW
camp in all of Germany.
294
00:12:39,434 --> 00:12:40,334
Trick or treat.
295
00:12:43,968 --> 00:12:46,834
What are you
doing here?
296
00:12:46,868 --> 00:12:48,834
K-Kommandant,
297
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:52,601
I-I was inspecting
the barracks.
298
00:12:52,634 --> 00:12:55,968
With a bottle
of wine?
299
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,701
You came for
funny business
300
00:12:58,734 --> 00:12:59,968
with these girls?
301
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,067
Sure, and I suppose you're here
302
00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:04,033
to hold a religious service?
303
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:06,534
Colonel Hogan,
I am holding you
304
00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:08,367
personally
responsible for this.
305
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,667
And you, Schultz,
will be...
306
00:13:12,501 --> 00:13:15,133
Ah, Captain Heinrich!
307
00:13:15,167 --> 00:13:16,367
Captain Heinrich, I-I...
308
00:13:17,767 --> 00:13:19,000
I suppose you're wondering
309
00:13:19,033 --> 00:13:21,300
why I'm holding this bottle
of wine in my hand.
310
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,167
You are aware, Colonel,
311
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,167
of the non-fraternization
regulations?
312
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,667
I was just explaining that
313
00:13:27,701 --> 00:13:29,567
to these women,
Captain Heinrich.
314
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:32,267
Say, why don't we all drink
to that regulation?
315
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:33,534
Silence!
316
00:13:33,567 --> 00:13:35,734
In the interests
of security, Colonel,
317
00:13:35,767 --> 00:13:37,367
I think it is wiser
318
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,801
if I take these girls out
of this camp
319
00:13:39,834 --> 00:13:41,133
as soon as possible.
320
00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:42,868
We will leave
tomorrow.
321
00:13:42,901 --> 00:13:44,734
And by whose orders?
322
00:13:44,767 --> 00:13:46,267
They are my prisoners.
323
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:49,100
I get my orders directly
from Berlin!
324
00:13:49,133 --> 00:13:50,267
Oh, I know him.
325
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:51,834
He wrote
"God Bless America."
326
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,701
I can also tell you,
Colonel Klink,
327
00:13:57,734 --> 00:14:01,868
that my report to Headquarters
will not be flattering to you.
328
00:14:14,167 --> 00:14:15,367
I thought
they'd never leave.
329
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,734
Hey, the wine steward is here.
330
00:14:16,767 --> 00:14:17,968
Did you bring the glasses?
331
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,033
Raus!
332
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:21,067
Killjoy.
333
00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:22,667
Raus!
334
00:14:22,701 --> 00:14:24,334
Last time you work
at one of my parties.
335
00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:25,334
Raus!
336
00:14:25,367 --> 00:14:26,534
Do drop in again.
337
00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:28,801
Raus!
338
00:14:30,434 --> 00:14:31,868
I, uh, just got
radio confirmation
339
00:14:31,901 --> 00:14:33,033
from London, Colonel.
340
00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:34,234
It's all set.
341
00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:35,968
Good. When do they bomb
the rocket site?
342
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,968
Tomorrow at
2300 hours.
343
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,601
Colonel, if they bomb
the emplacement,
344
00:14:39,634 --> 00:14:40,667
they're sure to know
345
00:14:40,701 --> 00:14:42,167
the information came
from the girls.
346
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:43,367
It won't matter by them.
347
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,968
The girls will be out the tunnel
on their way to London.
348
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,400
Yeah, as soon as
the sub calls in,
349
00:14:47,434 --> 00:14:48,667
I'll arrange for
a rendezvous.
350
00:14:48,701 --> 00:14:49,801
Good, good.
351
00:14:49,834 --> 00:14:51,601
You know, I kind of hate
to see them go.
352
00:14:51,634 --> 00:14:55,133
I like the idea
of a coed POW camp.
353
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,234
Hey...
Come on up.
354
00:15:03,267 --> 00:15:05,033
Uh-huh.
What happened?
355
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:06,033
It's a cave-in, sir.
356
00:15:06,067 --> 00:15:07,701
Oh.
Oh.
357
00:15:07,734 --> 00:15:09,334
Here, sit down.
358
00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:11,801
Are you hurt?
359
00:15:15,634 --> 00:15:16,901
Boy. Where?
360
00:15:16,934 --> 00:15:18,601
It's the new section
of the tunnel,
361
00:15:18,634 --> 00:15:20,200
right near
the girls' barracks.
362
00:15:20,234 --> 00:15:22,000
How bad is it?
363
00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:23,567
Complete washout.
364
00:15:23,601 --> 00:15:25,167
You guys didn't brace it enough.
365
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:26,801
With girls at
the other end?
366
00:15:26,834 --> 00:15:28,234
Who stopped
for braces?
367
00:15:28,267 --> 00:15:29,234
Can we still reach 'em?
368
00:15:29,267 --> 00:15:30,734
Not without a ruddy bulldozer
369
00:15:30,868 --> 00:15:31,934
you can't, sir.
370
00:15:31,968 --> 00:15:33,234
It'll take days to clear.
371
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:34,734
If they're going
to bomb tomorrow,
372
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,901
how are we going
to get those girls out tonight?
373
00:15:36,934 --> 00:15:38,067
Well, don't look at me.
374
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:39,834
I can't help us.
375
00:15:39,868 --> 00:15:43,434
When all else fails,
there's always Colonel Klink.
376
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,133
Schultz, here
is a list
377
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,534
of punishments
and restrictions
378
00:15:52,567 --> 00:15:53,701
for the prisoners.
379
00:15:53,734 --> 00:15:55,300
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
380
00:15:56,501 --> 00:15:58,767
And they can thank you for that.
381
00:15:58,801 --> 00:16:01,033
Shouldn't you check that
with Captain Heinrich?
382
00:16:01,067 --> 00:16:02,701
Check with Captain Heinrich?
383
00:16:02,734 --> 00:16:04,868
You don't want to go
over his head, do you?
384
00:16:04,901 --> 00:16:06,133
Hogan, may I remind you
385
00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,100
that I am the Kommandant
of this camp.
386
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,300
Don't remind me.
387
00:16:09,334 --> 00:16:10,501
Remind him.
388
00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:12,033
Dismissed.
389
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:13,267
Ah, it's no skin
off my nose,
390
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:15,601
if your men are laughing
behind your back.
391
00:16:15,634 --> 00:16:17,367
Hogan, no one laughs
392
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:19,767
behind Colonel
Klink's back!
393
00:16:19,801 --> 00:16:21,267
Look, face the facts.
394
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:23,868
Since Captain Heinrich has been
running this camp, your men...
395
00:16:23,901 --> 00:16:25,934
Captain Heinrich has not
been running this camp.
396
00:16:25,968 --> 00:16:27,868
All right,
but he doesn't care
397
00:16:27,901 --> 00:16:31,434
if those women cause trouble
and ruin Stalag 13's reputation.
398
00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:32,501
What? What?
399
00:16:32,734 --> 00:16:35,133
Forget it.
400
00:16:35,167 --> 00:16:36,634
So what if he did
go over your head
401
00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:38,400
and order those girls
to Berlin tomorrow.
402
00:16:38,434 --> 00:16:39,801
When you know
it would be smarter
403
00:16:39,834 --> 00:16:41,234
to have them shipped out
tonight.
404
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:42,701
What? What?
405
00:16:42,734 --> 00:16:45,434
It's not important
if those girls cause a riot.
406
00:16:45,467 --> 00:16:47,033
Important?
407
00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:50,367
I will decide
what's important.
408
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,601
They're going
out tonight!
409
00:16:53,634 --> 00:16:55,033
Schultz, tell
Captain Heinrich
410
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:57,033
that I order him
to move those girls
411
00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:58,267
to Berlin, tonight!
412
00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,701
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
413
00:16:59,734 --> 00:17:01,868
As for you, I...
414
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,767
Evening, Fritz.
415
00:17:08,801 --> 00:17:10,601
Lovely weather
we're having.
416
00:17:10,634 --> 00:17:12,534
Nice night for a raid
on Berlin, what?
417
00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:16,300
Schnell, schnell!
418
00:17:16,334 --> 00:17:17,934
All right, no need
to get huffy, mate.
419
00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:21,801
Just hope to stay
alive, that's all.
420
00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:27,200
All set?
421
00:17:27,234 --> 00:17:28,334
Worked like a charm.
422
00:17:28,367 --> 00:17:29,534
All right.
Let's get going
423
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:30,868
before they load
the girls in the truck.
424
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:48,834
Sergeant, a bomb!
425
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,501
Sergeant!
426
00:17:50,534 --> 00:17:53,634
A bomb, a bomb.
427
00:17:55,901 --> 00:17:57,033
Sergeant...
428
00:18:02,634 --> 00:18:04,667
Turn off the...
429
00:18:06,901 --> 00:18:08,133
Oh, come on, Bearheart.
430
00:18:08,167 --> 00:18:09,334
Shame on you.
431
00:18:09,367 --> 00:18:10,334
What's all
that jazz
432
00:18:10,367 --> 00:18:11,501
about man's
best friend?
433
00:18:15,501 --> 00:18:16,634
Don't pad your part.
434
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:23,133
Hi.
Oh, hi, fellas.
435
00:18:23,167 --> 00:18:25,133
You're just in time
for the going-away party.
436
00:18:25,167 --> 00:18:26,133
You're not going.
437
00:18:26,167 --> 00:18:27,367
Tell that
to Captain Heinrich.
438
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,868
What do you mean,
we're not going?
439
00:18:28,901 --> 00:18:31,000
Look, I think we can help you
to escape to England
440
00:18:31,033 --> 00:18:32,501
if you're willing
to take a chance.
441
00:18:32,534 --> 00:18:34,100
Anything's better
than being booked
442
00:18:34,133 --> 00:18:35,968
in a German prison camp
for three years.
443
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:36,868
I'll go along
with that.
444
00:18:37,133 --> 00:18:38,100
Me, too.
445
00:18:38,133 --> 00:18:39,267
What's the plan, Colonel?
446
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:41,434
This is the way
it stacks up.
447
00:18:41,467 --> 00:18:43,100
We're going to change
places with the girls.
448
00:18:43,133 --> 00:18:44,767
What?
449
00:18:44,801 --> 00:18:46,534
The three of us go
out in the truck tonight
450
00:18:46,567 --> 00:18:47,868
while the girls
hide back here.
451
00:18:47,901 --> 00:18:49,133
Brilliant.
452
00:18:49,167 --> 00:18:51,133
Fantastic. He always
comes up with...
453
00:18:51,167 --> 00:18:53,667
Colonel, what good
does it do the girls
454
00:18:53,701 --> 00:18:55,133
if you guys
escape?
455
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:56,634
Yeah.
456
00:18:56,667 --> 00:18:59,100
After we escape,
we sneak back into camp.
457
00:18:59,133 --> 00:19:00,334
We arrange to have the girls
458
00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:01,801
go out
in the dog truck tomorrow.
459
00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:03,400
Of course.
I said it was brilliant.
460
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:04,934
Don't you see?
It will be easy.
461
00:19:04,968 --> 00:19:07,334
Because half the guards will be
out looking for you.
462
00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:08,567
He's a ruddy
genius,
463
00:19:08,601 --> 00:19:10,100
even if he
is an officer.
464
00:19:10,133 --> 00:19:12,033
Can you get away
with this?
465
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,400
I mean, yeah.
466
00:19:13,434 --> 00:19:16,067
Uh, I may not be Miss America,
but, uh,
467
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,934
I don't look like a fella.
468
00:19:17,968 --> 00:19:19,567
You can say that again.
469
00:19:19,601 --> 00:19:20,467
Ma'am.
470
00:19:22,267 --> 00:19:23,434
All right, let's get going.
471
00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:25,033
No, no, no.
Wait, wait.
472
00:19:25,067 --> 00:19:27,934
If-If we change places
473
00:19:27,968 --> 00:19:29,934
with the girls tonight,
474
00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:33,000
then that
means that...
475
00:19:33,033 --> 00:19:35,267
I just got it.
476
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:36,667
So did I.
477
00:19:36,701 --> 00:19:38,734
You want us
to wear their clothes?
478
00:19:38,767 --> 00:19:40,734
You know a better way
to look like women?
479
00:19:40,767 --> 00:19:41,767
Well... Well,
that's out.
480
00:19:41,801 --> 00:19:43,267
Forget it.
481
00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:45,133
The articles of war
do not require me
482
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:46,467
to wear ladies'
clothing.
483
00:19:46,501 --> 00:19:48,801
Will you wait a minute?
484
00:19:48,834 --> 00:19:49,968
There's no danger.
485
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,167
It's dark out.
486
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,734
And besides,
look what I've got.
487
00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:55,467
Private Ninowski, our wigmaker,
does beautiful work.
488
00:19:57,434 --> 00:19:58,634
Look, Colonel,
489
00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:00,267
I'd rather grab
a machine gun
490
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,234
from the guards and
blast our way out.
491
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,567
I'll help
you, LeBeau.
492
00:20:03,601 --> 00:20:04,601
Come on.
493
00:20:04,634 --> 00:20:05,868
All right!
494
00:20:05,901 --> 00:20:08,033
I didn't want to do it this way,
but I order you.
495
00:20:08,067 --> 00:20:11,000
Put on their clothes
and these wigs.
496
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,334
And if I disobey the order?
497
00:20:15,367 --> 00:20:17,000
Court-martial
and firing squad.
498
00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:22,567
Well, no bandage
for my eyes.
499
00:20:22,601 --> 00:20:23,868
Vive la France.
500
00:20:23,901 --> 00:20:27,000
Sir, you can hang me
from the highest yardarm,
501
00:20:27,033 --> 00:20:29,167
but under no
circumstances
502
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,567
will we dress
as women.
503
00:20:36,734 --> 00:20:39,767
Hey, you guys look
pretty convincing.
504
00:20:39,801 --> 00:20:41,400
Shut up!
505
00:20:41,534 --> 00:20:42,834
Oui, shut up!
506
00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:44,334
If you tell anybody
about this,
507
00:20:44,367 --> 00:20:46,701
I will personally
poison your food.
508
00:20:46,734 --> 00:20:48,033
All right, easy, men.
509
00:20:48,067 --> 00:20:49,300
Look, Carter,
after we leave,
510
00:20:49,334 --> 00:20:50,868
take the girls back
to our barracks.
511
00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:52,100
R-Right, Colonel.
512
00:20:52,133 --> 00:20:53,934
Keep them out of sight
as much as possible,
513
00:20:53,968 --> 00:20:56,567
because we don't...
514
00:20:56,634 --> 00:20:57,734
You know, Newkirk...
515
00:20:57,767 --> 00:20:59,133
What? You look
good in basic black.
516
00:21:03,834 --> 00:21:04,968
Jawohl.
517
00:21:21,868 --> 00:21:23,167
Fresh!
518
00:21:48,434 --> 00:21:49,434
What's the
matter, dear?
519
00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:52,200
It must be her appendix!
Stop the truck!
520
00:21:52,234 --> 00:21:53,334
Stop the truck!
521
00:21:53,367 --> 00:21:54,767
Tell them to
stop the truck!
522
00:21:54,801 --> 00:21:55,934
Kathy is sick!
523
00:21:55,968 --> 00:21:57,267
I believe I'm going to faint!
524
00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:59,300
Quick, quick!
525
00:22:06,167 --> 00:22:07,534
What is this?
526
00:22:07,567 --> 00:22:09,067
LeBEAU: It's Kathy!
She's not well!
527
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:12,434
I think she has the vapors,
whatever that is!
528
00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:17,067
Keep her quiet for the rest
of the trip, or you will...
529
00:22:17,100 --> 00:22:17,467
Oh!
530
00:22:21,234 --> 00:22:22,501
Come on.
It's all right?
531
00:22:22,534 --> 00:22:23,634
Yeah, we did
pretty well.
532
00:22:23,701 --> 00:22:24,701
You did a great job.
533
00:22:24,734 --> 00:22:25,934
Fine. Let's go!
All right...
534
00:22:25,968 --> 00:22:27,100
Wait. Hey, wait a minute.
535
00:22:27,133 --> 00:22:28,267
What's the matter?
536
00:22:28,300 --> 00:22:29,367
Is my mascara running?
537
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:32,200
Oh.
538
00:22:32,234 --> 00:22:34,701
I don't know. Maybe they ran
into some sort of trouble.
539
00:22:34,734 --> 00:22:36,467
Maybe something happened.
I don't know.
540
00:22:36,501 --> 00:22:38,300
Yeah, maybe
his garter belt snapped.
541
00:22:38,334 --> 00:22:40,267
I don't think that would
have slowed him down.
542
00:22:40,300 --> 00:22:42,100
Well, it's hard
to win a war
543
00:22:42,133 --> 00:22:44,200
when your stockings
are falling down.
544
00:22:47,234 --> 00:22:48,701
We're home!
545
00:22:48,734 --> 00:22:50,067
How'd it go?
546
00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:51,767
- Oh, piece of cake.
- Fine, fine.
547
00:22:53,501 --> 00:22:54,801
LeBEAU:
Yeah, fine.
548
00:22:54,834 --> 00:22:56,834
Oh, my God.
549
00:22:56,868 --> 00:22:59,667
Colonel...
550
00:22:59,701 --> 00:23:01,567
how can we ever
thank you?
551
00:23:03,701 --> 00:23:05,801
Leave your names and addresses,
and after the war,
552
00:23:05,834 --> 00:23:08,067
I'm sure
we can work something out.
553
00:23:13,367 --> 00:23:15,033
Come in.
554
00:23:15,067 --> 00:23:17,200
Now, Colonel Hogan,
you asked permission to see me?
555
00:23:17,234 --> 00:23:18,367
Right, sir.
556
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:19,667
Request permission
for my men
557
00:23:19,701 --> 00:23:21,067
to have extra
rations tomorrow.
558
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:22,634
Why do you want extra rations?
559
00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:23,968
Don't tell me
you've forgotten.
560
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,067
It's a holiday.
561
00:23:25,100 --> 00:23:27,067
What holiday?
562
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:28,634
Armistice Day.
563
00:23:28,667 --> 00:23:31,267
It's the day we beat the Germans
in the First World...
564
00:23:32,901 --> 00:23:34,033
Sorry, sir.
565
00:23:34,067 --> 00:23:35,834
It's in bad taste.
566
00:23:35,868 --> 00:23:37,501
Permission refused.
567
00:23:37,534 --> 00:23:39,133
Colonel, you're invited
to the party.
568
00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:40,300
The men insisted.
569
00:23:40,334 --> 00:23:41,467
Request denied.
570
00:23:41,501 --> 00:23:42,767
I hate a poor loser.
571
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,567
Oh, uh...
572
00:23:46,601 --> 00:23:48,567
what do you hear
from your old boss,
573
00:23:48,601 --> 00:23:50,901
Captain Heinrich?
574
00:23:50,934 --> 00:23:53,334
The Captain
you admire so much, Hogan,
575
00:23:53,367 --> 00:23:54,934
has met with disgrace.
576
00:23:54,968 --> 00:23:57,334
No!
577
00:23:57,367 --> 00:24:01,467
He allowed the three
lady prisoners to escape.
578
00:24:01,501 --> 00:24:02,734
I can't believe it.
579
00:24:02,767 --> 00:24:04,734
And I heard that he was...
580
00:24:06,067 --> 00:24:08,033
overpowered by a lady's handbag.
581
00:24:09,501 --> 00:24:11,067
Did you ever see
what a woman carried
582
00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:12,400
in her purse?
583
00:24:12,434 --> 00:24:14,634
If headquarters would have left
those women with me,
584
00:24:14,667 --> 00:24:16,000
this never would have happened!
585
00:24:16,033 --> 00:24:17,234
What harm can
three girls do?
586
00:24:17,267 --> 00:24:19,367
Because of them,
the enemy bombed one
587
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,501
of our most important
experimental stations.
588
00:24:21,534 --> 00:24:23,300
Dismissed.
589
00:24:24,634 --> 00:24:25,801
Rockets?
Yes.
590
00:24:27,033 --> 00:24:28,000
Who said rockets?
591
00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:29,534
You did.
592
00:24:29,567 --> 00:24:31,300
But your secret's safe with me.
40478
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