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1
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,457
Well, howdy, friend.
2
00:01:04,457 --> 00:01:05,750
Shh!
3
00:01:05,792 --> 00:01:06,876
Howdy, monsieur.
4
00:01:06,918 --> 00:01:10,546
Jeb Winslow, Captain,
419th Fighter Squadron.
5
00:01:10,588 --> 00:01:11,839
I'm an American.
6
00:01:11,881 --> 00:01:13,424
Oh, really?
7
00:01:13,466 --> 00:01:16,386
Corporal LeBeau, Stalag 13.
8
00:01:16,427 --> 00:01:18,304
You from that big old ugly
prison camp yonder?
9
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:19,305
Yes, sir.
10
00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:21,057
We had a message
from the underground.
11
00:01:21,099 --> 00:01:22,642
You got shot down near
Dusseldorf?
12
00:01:22,642 --> 00:01:25,603
Some Kraut on the ground
got my gas tank.
13
00:01:25,645 --> 00:01:27,689
I was coming down real fast,
14
00:01:27,730 --> 00:01:29,232
just like a great
big bare-faced vulture,
15
00:01:29,273 --> 00:01:30,566
strafing a train, when
all of a sudden that...
16
00:01:30,608 --> 00:01:32,068
Shh!
17
00:01:32,110 --> 00:01:34,946
Hey, Capitaine, is this going
to be a long story?
18
00:01:34,988 --> 00:01:36,322
Huh?
19
00:01:36,322 --> 00:01:37,907
Colonel Hogan
is waiting for you.
20
00:01:37,949 --> 00:01:41,327
Oh, okay, Shorty.
21
00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:43,079
Lead the way.
22
00:01:43,121 --> 00:01:44,163
All right,
let's go.
23
00:01:48,001 --> 00:01:49,961
Ooh-wee.
24
00:01:50,003 --> 00:01:51,838
Imagine sneaking
into a prison camp
25
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,673
just so you can
sneak out again.
26
00:01:53,673 --> 00:01:55,341
C'est la guerre, uh?
27
00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:58,511
Hold on.
That's French.
28
00:01:58,511 --> 00:02:01,347
I reckon so, stranger.
29
00:02:15,737 --> 00:02:18,031
Well, howdy.
30
00:02:18,031 --> 00:02:20,366
How'd you get him
through the tunnel?
31
00:02:20,366 --> 00:02:22,910
Did you come by
plane or horse?
32
00:02:22,952 --> 00:02:25,705
Oh, these here are my
good luck flying clothes.
33
00:02:25,747 --> 00:02:27,165
Yeah, well
if Sitting Bull
34
00:02:27,206 --> 00:02:28,583
gets in the war,
you'll be all set.
35
00:02:31,377 --> 00:02:33,254
Uh, excuse me.
36
00:02:33,296 --> 00:02:35,673
You're the first Texan
37
00:02:35,715 --> 00:02:37,759
I've ever seen
outside the cinema.
38
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,552
It's quite a shock,
you know.
39
00:02:41,012 --> 00:02:43,056
Hey, Captain, how many
planes you shoot down?
40
00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:44,390
Oh, nine for
dang sure.
41
00:02:44,390 --> 00:02:45,475
Three or four maybes.
42
00:02:45,516 --> 00:02:46,684
Hey, why don't we
all go home
43
00:02:46,726 --> 00:02:48,519
and let him finish
the war by himself.
44
00:02:48,561 --> 00:02:50,605
Hey, uh, Colonel,
how soon you reckon
45
00:02:50,647 --> 00:02:52,440
I could get back
to my squadron?
46
00:02:52,482 --> 00:02:53,941
Our radio man
is making contact
47
00:02:53,983 --> 00:02:56,277
with a sub patrolling
off the coast right now.
48
00:02:56,319 --> 00:02:57,987
Well, how about that?
49
00:02:58,029 --> 00:02:59,530
They'll arrange
a rendezvous point
50
00:02:59,572 --> 00:03:00,907
and pick you up
in 48 hours.
51
00:03:00,907 --> 00:03:02,533
No, he won't.
52
00:03:02,575 --> 00:03:04,911
We had a short,
blew out half the equipment.
53
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:06,329
We can't send or receive.
54
00:03:06,371 --> 00:03:07,580
How long to fix it?
55
00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:08,748
It's impossible.
56
00:03:08,790 --> 00:03:09,874
We need new parts.
57
00:03:09,916 --> 00:03:11,626
All right, we'll get
them for you... make a list.
58
00:03:11,668 --> 00:03:12,877
Got it right here.
59
00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:14,962
You're all going
to get radio parts
60
00:03:15,004 --> 00:03:17,590
in the middle of Germany
with a big old war going on?
61
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,092
We got a contact
in town...
62
00:03:19,092 --> 00:03:20,760
Bartender at
the local hotel.
63
00:03:20,802 --> 00:03:22,845
Fellas, I'm going
to need a volunteer
64
00:03:22,887 --> 00:03:24,806
to go into town
to see the dentist.
65
00:03:24,847 --> 00:03:28,267
Hmm, I see,
another stampede, huh?
66
00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:31,187
I'm sorry, I can only
accept one volunteer.
67
00:03:31,229 --> 00:03:32,438
Sir, I...
68
00:03:32,438 --> 00:03:33,523
Thank you, Newkirk.
69
00:03:33,564 --> 00:03:35,108
No, I was only going
to suggest Carter.
70
00:03:35,149 --> 00:03:37,026
Oh, thanks, pal.
71
00:03:37,068 --> 00:03:38,152
Nurse, will you assist him?
72
00:03:38,194 --> 00:03:39,153
Yes, sir.
73
00:03:39,195 --> 00:03:40,530
Now, if you'll
please open wide?
74
00:03:40,571 --> 00:03:41,531
Open wide,
please.
75
00:03:41,572 --> 00:03:42,615
This won't hurt.
This won't hurt.
76
00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:45,535
Cotton.
Cotton.
77
00:03:45,576 --> 00:03:46,536
There you are.
78
00:03:46,577 --> 00:03:48,371
Now have a toothache,
and that's an order.
79
00:03:52,709 --> 00:03:54,293
Herr Kommandant, here they are.
80
00:03:54,293 --> 00:03:55,628
I will finish
dictating
81
00:03:55,628 --> 00:03:57,672
those reports later,
Fraulein Helga.
82
00:03:57,714 --> 00:03:59,132
Very good, Herr Colonel.
83
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:04,470
You look beautiful
today, baby.
84
00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:06,597
Schultz!
85
00:04:06,639 --> 00:04:09,267
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
86
00:04:09,309 --> 00:04:11,561
Now, Colonel Hogan,
a toothache, huh?
87
00:04:11,602 --> 00:04:12,937
Your men seem
to have
88
00:04:12,979 --> 00:04:14,897
a lot of dental
trouble lately.
89
00:04:14,939 --> 00:04:16,649
I think it's the sawdust
in the bread, sir,
90
00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:18,818
but I guess if you want
to make money on supplies,
91
00:04:18,860 --> 00:04:19,944
you've got to do that.
92
00:04:19,986 --> 00:04:21,988
Who told you
that we put sawdust
93
00:04:21,988 --> 00:04:23,781
in the prisoners' bread?
94
00:04:23,823 --> 00:04:25,074
A little bird told me.
95
00:04:25,116 --> 00:04:26,159
That little bird
96
00:04:26,159 --> 00:04:28,911
may soon be flying off
to the Russian front.
97
00:04:28,953 --> 00:04:31,873
I said nothing,
Herr Kommandant, nothing.
98
00:04:33,666 --> 00:04:35,501
Does it hurt?
99
00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:36,669
Oh, the pain
is terrible.
100
00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:38,129
Let him speak
for himself.
101
00:04:39,672 --> 00:04:41,215
That's plain
enough for anybody.
102
00:04:41,257 --> 00:04:43,509
Now, how did I know this
is a genuine toothache?
103
00:04:43,509 --> 00:04:44,510
Open your mouth.
104
00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:47,096
Ah-ha, mouth stuffed
with cotton.
105
00:04:47,138 --> 00:04:49,641
That's to keep
the tooth warm.
106
00:04:49,682 --> 00:04:51,184
Why, of course.
107
00:04:51,184 --> 00:04:54,687
Don't you give me any credit
for having any brains.
108
00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:55,855
I refuse to answer
109
00:04:55,897 --> 00:04:57,523
on the grounds that
I might tell the truth.
110
00:04:58,691 --> 00:04:59,817
Schultz!
111
00:04:59,859 --> 00:05:02,278
If I agree to let him
go to the dentist,
112
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,698
what guarantee do I have
that he will not try to escape.
113
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,741
You have my word.
114
00:05:07,867 --> 00:05:08,743
He agrees.
115
00:05:08,785 --> 00:05:09,786
I heard him.
116
00:05:09,827 --> 00:05:11,287
All right.
117
00:05:11,329 --> 00:05:12,330
I'll give him
a pass.
118
00:05:12,372 --> 00:05:14,165
Now, Schultz,
you take him
119
00:05:14,207 --> 00:05:16,709
straight to the dentist
in Hamilburg
120
00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,294
and then straight
back here
121
00:05:18,336 --> 00:05:20,213
without any detours,
understood?
122
00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:21,839
Understood,
Herr Kommandant.
123
00:05:21,881 --> 00:05:24,759
And you will stay
with him at all times,
124
00:05:24,801 --> 00:05:26,719
even while
the dentist treats him.
125
00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:30,598
Sir, the dentist
might pull his tooth.
126
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:31,641
So?
127
00:05:31,683 --> 00:05:34,519
I can't stand
the sight of blood.
128
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,312
Imbecile!
129
00:05:36,354 --> 00:05:39,816
How did you ever get
into the German army?
130
00:05:39,857 --> 00:05:40,942
I think he lied
about his weight.
131
00:05:46,739 --> 00:05:48,199
No, no.
132
00:05:48,241 --> 00:05:50,201
The order was
straight to the dentist
133
00:05:50,243 --> 00:05:51,744
and then straight back home.
134
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,496
Schultz, you can't
deny a man
135
00:05:53,538 --> 00:05:56,082
a bit of schnapps before
a visit to the dentist.
136
00:05:56,082 --> 00:05:57,542
It's inhuman.
137
00:05:57,583 --> 00:05:59,127
Look, one drink.
138
00:05:59,168 --> 00:06:00,712
One drink, now, come on.
139
00:06:00,753 --> 00:06:03,131
You'll have a beer.
140
00:06:03,172 --> 00:06:04,924
Ein bier.
141
00:06:04,924 --> 00:06:06,092
Yes, sir.
142
00:06:06,092 --> 00:06:07,927
And I'll have a wee
drop of whiskey.
143
00:06:07,927 --> 00:06:09,637
Now don't worry.
Don't worry.
144
00:06:09,679 --> 00:06:10,596
All right.
145
00:06:10,596 --> 00:06:11,723
Hello, chum.
146
00:06:11,764 --> 00:06:13,099
Wie gehts and all that.
147
00:06:13,141 --> 00:06:16,269
Oh, that's that lovely
tub of beer for my friend.
148
00:06:16,269 --> 00:06:19,063
A wee drop of
whiskey for me, please.
149
00:06:19,105 --> 00:06:21,107
Whiskey, sir. Yes.
150
00:06:21,274 --> 00:06:23,526
The good stuff, right.
151
00:06:23,568 --> 00:06:28,364
Radio parts.
152
00:06:28,406 --> 00:06:30,074
We need them
right away.
153
00:06:32,118 --> 00:06:33,453
Here we go then.
154
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:36,622
Ooh, this stuff looks
good enough to drink.
155
00:06:39,083 --> 00:06:42,003
Ah... prosit.
156
00:06:42,045 --> 00:06:44,088
Well, if you say so.
157
00:06:54,098 --> 00:06:55,308
Ah...
158
00:06:55,308 --> 00:06:58,686
Oh, this is good,
strong beer.
159
00:06:58,728 --> 00:07:01,356
Nothing too good for
our boys in uniform.
160
00:07:03,358 --> 00:07:04,942
Is that an officer
back there?
161
00:07:04,984 --> 00:07:06,819
Where?
162
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,821
I see nothing.
163
00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:10,239
It's my mistake.
164
00:07:10,281 --> 00:07:11,949
I'm a bit jumpy,
I guess.
165
00:07:11,991 --> 00:07:13,743
Oh, don't scare me
like that.
166
00:07:13,785 --> 00:07:16,871
Prosit.
167
00:07:16,913 --> 00:07:17,872
Prosit.
168
00:07:23,294 --> 00:07:26,381
Excuse me, sir.
169
00:07:26,422 --> 00:07:31,094
What time does this train
get to Dusseldorf?
170
00:07:31,135 --> 00:07:32,845
I'll let you know.
171
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:34,806
Thank you
very much, sir.
172
00:07:38,142 --> 00:07:39,602
Ah...
173
00:07:39,644 --> 00:07:41,688
Very good beer
in this place,
174
00:07:41,688 --> 00:07:44,190
but the glasses
are terrible.
175
00:07:53,282 --> 00:07:55,451
Thanks, chum.
176
00:07:55,493 --> 00:07:57,704
Lend us a hand,
will you?
177
00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,497
Come on, Schultz.
178
00:07:59,539 --> 00:08:01,124
Come on,
the party's over.
179
00:08:01,165 --> 00:08:02,208
Look alive, now.
180
00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:04,377
You go to the dentist.
I wait for you here.
181
00:08:04,377 --> 00:08:06,337
Been to the dentist.
Look, look.
182
00:08:06,379 --> 00:08:07,672
The swelling,
it's gone.
183
00:08:07,714 --> 00:08:08,965
Now, come on.
184
00:08:09,007 --> 00:08:10,550
Send the bill to Klink.
185
00:08:12,010 --> 00:08:14,887
Big shot, Klink.
186
00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:16,889
Blimey,
he's a load.
187
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:19,809
I may have to roll
him back to camp.
188
00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:39,078
Hey, was
ist los?
189
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,913
Open up. Open up. Schnell.
190
00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,248
Hello, Hans.
191
00:08:42,248 --> 00:08:43,750
We went to the dentist.
192
00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:45,960
We had a marvelous time.
193
00:08:46,002 --> 00:08:47,920
You want Klink on us?
194
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:51,591
Ah, Kommandant Klink,
Mr. Big Shot.
195
00:08:51,633 --> 00:08:53,843
Stop that. Stop that.
196
00:08:53,885 --> 00:08:55,887
Stop that flipping noise.
197
00:08:55,928 --> 00:08:57,096
If Klink hears us,
198
00:08:57,096 --> 00:08:59,015
he'll make all kinds of trouble
for you tomorrow.
199
00:08:59,057 --> 00:08:59,641
Shh.
200
00:09:03,561 --> 00:09:05,229
Sergeant Schultz!
201
00:09:05,271 --> 00:09:07,190
Well, here it is tomorrow.
202
00:09:07,231 --> 00:09:09,609
Hello, Big Shot.
203
00:09:10,902 --> 00:09:15,740
I mean jawohl,
Kommandant Big Shot.
204
00:09:15,782 --> 00:09:18,743
I mean, uh... forget it.
205
00:09:18,785 --> 00:09:19,786
Anything wrong?
206
00:09:19,786 --> 00:09:20,787
Never mind, Hogan.
207
00:09:20,787 --> 00:09:21,954
I thought one of my men
208
00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:23,289
might be in trouble, sir,
209
00:09:23,289 --> 00:09:24,666
but I can see
it's one of yours.
210
00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:26,751
Oh, this man
211
00:09:26,793 --> 00:09:28,461
is obviously not well, sir.
212
00:09:28,461 --> 00:09:30,129
Careful of
the fumes, sir.
213
00:09:30,129 --> 00:09:31,547
On your feet, Dummkopf.
214
00:09:34,926 --> 00:09:41,808
Request permission to fall flat
on my face if necessary.
215
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:45,311
Seven hours ago you left this
camp to go to the dentist.
216
00:09:45,353 --> 00:09:49,107
Seven hours at the dentist?
217
00:09:49,148 --> 00:09:50,566
It was a very
big tooth, sir.
218
00:09:50,608 --> 00:09:51,776
Silence.
219
00:09:51,818 --> 00:09:55,446
Now a prisoner has
to bring you back... drunk.
220
00:09:55,488 --> 00:09:57,323
Well, at least
Newkirk is sober.
221
00:09:57,323 --> 00:09:58,783
Yes, sir.
Pity, ain't it?
222
00:09:58,825 --> 00:10:01,119
I will be sober
by tomorrow, sir.
223
00:10:01,202 --> 00:10:02,787
Oh, yes,
Schultz.
224
00:10:02,829 --> 00:10:06,374
You will also walk a guard post
outside the wire,
225
00:10:06,416 --> 00:10:10,503
back and forth,
where it's cold and lonely.
226
00:10:10,503 --> 00:10:12,255
But that will
only be temporary.
227
00:10:12,297 --> 00:10:14,299
Thank you, sir.
228
00:10:14,340 --> 00:10:16,884
Until the sergeant
who replaces you
229
00:10:16,926 --> 00:10:18,886
arrives from headquarters.
230
00:10:18,928 --> 00:10:21,639
And then our favorite
drunken fool
231
00:10:21,681 --> 00:10:23,850
will be transferred
to the command
232
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:26,894
of some other lucky officer.
233
00:10:31,816 --> 00:10:34,027
Ach du lieber.
234
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:35,320
He's gone now,
Schultz.
235
00:10:35,361 --> 00:10:37,030
It's okay to fall
on your face.
236
00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:39,324
Ach du lieber.
237
00:10:39,365 --> 00:10:41,409
♪ Ach du lieber... ♪
238
00:10:48,624 --> 00:10:51,627
Old Schultz is really
suffering out there.
239
00:10:51,669 --> 00:10:54,839
He looks like a Zeppelin
with empty gas bags.
240
00:10:54,881 --> 00:10:56,549
I talked to him
a little while ago.
241
00:10:56,549 --> 00:11:00,928
All he said was,
"Mein feet are killing me."
242
00:11:00,970 --> 00:11:03,222
Colonel, do you think Klink
will really transfer him out?
243
00:11:03,264 --> 00:11:04,349
I hope not.
244
00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:05,683
It took a long time
to train Schultz.
245
00:11:05,725 --> 00:11:07,518
He sits up and begs
for my strudel.
246
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,228
Yeah?
247
00:11:09,270 --> 00:11:10,229
Who's this?
248
00:11:16,027 --> 00:11:18,738
Herr Kommandant,
Sergeant Ernst Krebs
249
00:11:18,780 --> 00:11:21,324
reporting for duty
as ordered, sir!
250
00:11:21,366 --> 00:11:24,369
At ease, Sergeant.
251
00:11:26,371 --> 00:11:27,413
There's your answer.
252
00:11:27,455 --> 00:11:28,831
That's Schultz's replacement.
253
00:11:28,873 --> 00:11:31,918
He barks like a ruddy seal.
254
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:34,796
Yeah, he looks
very G.I. to me.
255
00:11:34,837 --> 00:11:36,005
Let's find out.
256
00:11:36,047 --> 00:11:38,132
Try him on for
size, Carter,
257
00:11:38,174 --> 00:11:39,300
but take it easy.
258
00:11:39,342 --> 00:11:40,551
Okay.
259
00:11:40,593 --> 00:11:41,928
Things run
very smoothly
260
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:43,221
here, Sergeant.
261
00:11:43,262 --> 00:11:46,391
We have never even had
an escape at Stalag 13.
262
00:11:46,432 --> 00:11:48,059
Hiya, Colonel.
How's the boy?
263
00:11:48,101 --> 00:11:51,604
Halt!
264
00:11:51,646 --> 00:11:54,273
Is that the way you talk
to the commanding officer,
265
00:11:54,273 --> 00:11:55,233
"How's the boy?"
266
00:11:55,274 --> 00:11:56,776
Well, see,
we're old friends...
267
00:11:56,776 --> 00:11:59,112
Come to attention!
268
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:00,613
Eyes front.
269
00:12:00,655 --> 00:12:02,699
Salute.
270
00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:04,951
Carter, this is
a new broom.
271
00:12:04,951 --> 00:12:05,994
Well, sir...
272
00:12:06,035 --> 00:12:08,579
Do as he says,
or this new broom
273
00:12:08,621 --> 00:12:11,624
will sweep you
right into the cooler.
274
00:12:11,624 --> 00:12:12,291
Yes, sir.
275
00:12:14,043 --> 00:12:16,004
Sergeant Krebs, follow me.
276
00:12:23,386 --> 00:12:26,306
Three days before we can get
a message to London, sir?
277
00:12:26,306 --> 00:12:28,182
That's about the size of it.
278
00:12:28,224 --> 00:12:29,809
Close it up down there.
279
00:12:29,809 --> 00:12:31,477
We got bigger troubles anyway.
280
00:12:31,477 --> 00:12:33,313
This new Sergeant
is a bloodhound.
281
00:12:33,313 --> 00:12:35,565
If we lose Schultz
and get stuck with him
282
00:12:35,606 --> 00:12:38,026
our whole operation
could be out of business.
283
00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:40,320
Well, maybe we can tame him
if he likes strudel.
284
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,821
Come on,
it took us six months
285
00:12:41,821 --> 00:12:43,573
to get Schultz
to look the other way.
286
00:12:43,614 --> 00:12:45,158
And he's got no
character at all.
287
00:12:45,158 --> 00:12:46,326
Watch it,
somebody's coming.
288
00:12:46,326 --> 00:12:47,910
Scramble.
289
00:12:50,079 --> 00:12:51,331
Hi, Schultz.
290
00:12:51,331 --> 00:12:52,332
How are you?
291
00:12:52,332 --> 00:12:54,584
Eight hours
I walked today.
292
00:12:54,625 --> 00:12:58,171
Come on, sit down,
Schultz, rest your bones.
293
00:12:58,171 --> 00:12:59,422
Oh. Aw.
294
00:12:59,464 --> 00:13:00,590
You all
pooped out, huh?
295
00:13:00,632 --> 00:13:01,841
Oh, I'm double pooped out.
296
00:13:01,883 --> 00:13:04,385
I'm going to be pooped out
for the rest of my life.
297
00:13:04,427 --> 00:13:06,346
And tomorrow I have
to walk again.
298
00:13:06,387 --> 00:13:07,430
Oh, tough go, Schultz.
299
00:13:07,472 --> 00:13:09,140
LeBeau, please,
could I have
300
00:13:09,182 --> 00:13:11,851
some of the foot powder
the Red Cross gave you?
301
00:13:11,893 --> 00:13:13,394
Sure.
302
00:13:13,436 --> 00:13:15,563
One thing
I don't understand...
303
00:13:15,605 --> 00:13:19,025
How could I get so drunk
on one glass of beer?
304
00:13:19,025 --> 00:13:21,986
Never drink on an
empty stomach, Schultz.
305
00:13:22,028 --> 00:13:23,363
You call this empty?
306
00:13:23,529 --> 00:13:24,947
Cheer, up, Schultz.
307
00:13:24,989 --> 00:13:27,784
Maybe they'll send you
to a good post.
308
00:13:27,825 --> 00:13:30,203
Or maybe they're going to
send me to the Russian Front.
309
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,705
If they transfer you
close to home,
310
00:13:32,705 --> 00:13:35,708
you'll be able to see
your wife more often.
311
00:13:35,750 --> 00:13:39,879
All of a sudden the Russian
Front sounds very good.
312
00:13:42,298 --> 00:13:45,510
Any of you fellas got
a cigarette for a buddy?
313
00:13:45,551 --> 00:13:47,553
Yeah, here, old buddy.
314
00:13:47,553 --> 00:13:48,972
Light?
315
00:13:49,013 --> 00:13:50,515
Oh, here, here.
316
00:13:55,353 --> 00:13:58,189
Well, I'll see
you men all later, huh?
317
00:13:58,231 --> 00:14:02,610
Hold it.
Hold it.
318
00:14:02,694 --> 00:14:03,653
Who is this?
319
00:14:03,695 --> 00:14:05,238
Captain Jeb Winslow.
320
00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:06,906
Guten abend, buddy.
321
00:14:06,948 --> 00:14:08,366
Nice to meet you.
322
00:14:08,408 --> 00:14:10,785
Well, auf Wiedersehen, y'all.
323
00:14:10,827 --> 00:14:11,828
Halt. Hold it.
324
00:14:11,869 --> 00:14:14,914
Schultz, what about
another cup of coffee.
325
00:14:14,956 --> 00:14:16,082
Go away.
326
00:14:16,082 --> 00:14:17,583
A nice cup
of foot powder?
327
00:14:17,583 --> 00:14:18,584
Ah-ha, Winslow.
328
00:14:18,626 --> 00:14:20,920
He was never on
the roll call.
329
00:14:20,962 --> 00:14:23,715
Schultz, he's only
passing through.
330
00:14:23,756 --> 00:14:24,590
Ah-ha, a spy.
331
00:14:24,882 --> 00:14:26,092
In uniform?
332
00:14:26,092 --> 00:14:28,761
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
333
00:14:28,803 --> 00:14:34,475
There was a plane shot down
near Dusseldorf the other day.
334
00:14:34,517 --> 00:14:35,768
They got my gas tank.
335
00:14:35,810 --> 00:14:37,937
I was coming for
a strafing real...
336
00:14:37,937 --> 00:14:39,772
All right, Captain,
pipe down.
337
00:14:39,814 --> 00:14:42,483
This is my lucky break.
338
00:14:42,525 --> 00:14:43,735
How do you figure that?
339
00:14:43,776 --> 00:14:45,945
Well, if I turn him in to Klink,
340
00:14:45,945 --> 00:14:48,781
he's going to tear up
my transfer papers.
341
00:14:48,781 --> 00:14:50,450
Good thinking, Schultz.
342
00:14:50,450 --> 00:14:53,578
Yeah, my feet might be
dead, but not my brain.
343
00:14:53,619 --> 00:14:55,955
Fine, and when Klink
starts to figure out
344
00:14:55,997 --> 00:14:59,459
how he got into camp while you
were Sergeant of the Guard,
345
00:14:59,459 --> 00:15:01,878
you get a chance
to use your brain again...
346
00:15:01,919 --> 00:15:03,212
At your court-martial.
347
00:15:03,296 --> 00:15:04,797
Please, don't confuse me.
348
00:15:04,797 --> 00:15:06,966
Face it, buddy,
you're up the creek.
349
00:15:07,008 --> 00:15:09,844
No matter what I do,
I cannot be smart.
350
00:15:09,886 --> 00:15:11,804
But I have to turn him in.
351
00:15:11,804 --> 00:15:13,097
Go, go, go.
352
00:15:13,139 --> 00:15:14,807
Schultz, we'll work a deal
with you.
353
00:15:14,807 --> 00:15:15,808
Forget you saw him,
354
00:15:15,850 --> 00:15:17,518
and we'll get rid
of Sergeant Krebs.
355
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:19,312
That way Klink
will have to keep you.
356
00:15:19,354 --> 00:15:20,480
How can you do that?
357
00:15:20,521 --> 00:15:21,689
We'll think of something.
358
00:15:21,731 --> 00:15:24,025
But, but, but...
Klink already signed
359
00:15:24,067 --> 00:15:25,151
my transfer papers.
360
00:15:25,151 --> 00:15:26,944
Corporal Langenscheidt told me.
361
00:15:26,986 --> 00:15:28,696
He signed them,
but they never left camp.
362
00:15:28,738 --> 00:15:29,822
How do you know?
363
00:15:29,822 --> 00:15:31,491
Mm-hmm.
364
00:15:32,659 --> 00:15:35,244
"Name:
365
00:15:35,286 --> 00:15:37,330
"Schultz, Hans.
366
00:15:37,372 --> 00:15:39,999
Rank: sergeant, grade one..."
367
00:15:39,999 --> 00:15:41,668
Radio? You found a radio?
368
00:15:41,668 --> 00:15:43,503
That's against regulations.
369
00:15:43,503 --> 00:15:45,421
Shh. I wouldn't
tell you this,
370
00:15:45,463 --> 00:15:47,006
except you're a new man,
371
00:15:47,048 --> 00:15:50,510
and I'd like to see you make
a few points with Klink.
372
00:15:50,551 --> 00:15:52,136
Where is this radio?
373
00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:58,017
Yeah...
374
00:15:58,017 --> 00:15:59,018
Homemade.
375
00:15:59,018 --> 00:16:00,436
That's the best kind.
376
00:16:00,478 --> 00:16:03,106
Somebody will get
the cooler for this.
377
00:16:03,147 --> 00:16:04,273
It works on a battery.
378
00:16:04,315 --> 00:16:05,566
Very clever.
379
00:16:05,608 --> 00:16:09,278
Klink will love
you for this.
380
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:10,863
Sehr gut.
381
00:16:10,905 --> 00:16:12,115
I won't forget it.
382
00:16:14,492 --> 00:16:17,537
I know you won't... pal.
383
00:16:17,578 --> 00:16:21,457
So, our new broom,
Sergeant Krebs, sweeps again.
384
00:16:21,499 --> 00:16:23,292
Danke, Herr Kommandant.
I try.
385
00:16:23,334 --> 00:16:27,130
I shall start
an investigation right away.
386
00:16:27,171 --> 00:16:28,381
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
387
00:16:28,423 --> 00:16:29,924
Obviously homemade.
388
00:16:29,966 --> 00:16:31,467
It is amazing to me
389
00:16:31,509 --> 00:16:35,555
how ingenious these prisoners
can be when they try.
390
00:16:35,596 --> 00:16:36,723
Jawohl, that is true, sir.
391
00:16:45,732 --> 00:16:47,483
Yes...
392
00:16:47,525 --> 00:16:50,820
very ingenious.
393
00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:59,996
Hello. Hello, Colonel.
394
00:17:00,038 --> 00:17:03,082
Can you hear me?
395
00:17:03,124 --> 00:17:05,585
Hello.
Colonel Hogan.
396
00:17:05,585 --> 00:17:06,544
This is Kinch.
397
00:17:06,586 --> 00:17:07,920
Can you read me?
398
00:17:07,962 --> 00:17:09,213
Hello, Colonel.
399
00:17:09,255 --> 00:17:10,923
If you can hear me,
400
00:17:10,923 --> 00:17:13,760
the tunnel is too near
the surface.
401
00:17:13,801 --> 00:17:17,055
Hello, Colonel.
402
00:17:17,096 --> 00:17:19,724
Colonel. Hello.
403
00:17:24,604 --> 00:17:26,439
Are you sure this is
the spot, Sergeant?
404
00:17:26,439 --> 00:17:27,440
Ja, Herr Kommandant.
405
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,442
He was talking to someone
under the ground.
406
00:17:29,442 --> 00:17:31,944
Incredible.
Simply incredible.
407
00:17:31,944 --> 00:17:33,112
Kommandant...
408
00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:34,280
step over here.
409
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:37,033
You can still see his
handprints in the dirt.
410
00:17:37,075 --> 00:17:39,160
Ah-ha, now we're
getting somewhere.
411
00:17:44,457 --> 00:17:46,292
Confirm pickup point
M-12, 48 hours.
412
00:17:46,334 --> 00:17:49,003
Well, the Lone Ranger's going
home to his squadron, men.
413
00:17:49,045 --> 00:17:51,130
How do we get him out
of camp, Colonel?
414
00:17:51,172 --> 00:17:52,215
The emergency tunnel.
415
00:17:52,256 --> 00:17:54,467
With Sergeant Krebs
on our backs every minute?
416
00:17:54,509 --> 00:17:55,969
Mm-hmm.
417
00:17:56,010 --> 00:17:57,512
Yes, what do we
do about him?
418
00:17:57,553 --> 00:17:59,555
Every night he does
a little listening
419
00:17:59,597 --> 00:18:00,974
outside
the windows, right?
420
00:18:02,016 --> 00:18:03,810
Tonight he's going
to hear something,
421
00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:05,561
and then we'll be on
his back for a change.
422
00:18:12,235 --> 00:18:14,988
Hey, Newkirk, I just
spoke to the colonel.
423
00:18:15,029 --> 00:18:16,030
What's up?
424
00:18:16,114 --> 00:18:17,407
LeBEAU:
Tomorrow night.
425
00:18:17,448 --> 00:18:19,200
Tomorrow night? Where?
426
00:18:19,242 --> 00:18:20,159
LeBEAU:
From here.
427
00:18:20,201 --> 00:18:22,704
Let me see if I've
got that right.
428
00:18:22,745 --> 00:18:24,706
Tomorrow night from here?
429
00:18:24,747 --> 00:18:26,666
Hi, fellas.
What's cooking?
430
00:18:26,708 --> 00:18:28,001
Shh.
Shh.
431
00:18:28,001 --> 00:18:30,461
LeBeau just got the word.
Tomorrow night.
432
00:18:30,503 --> 00:18:32,088
- No kidding?
- Tomorrow night?
433
00:18:32,255 --> 00:18:32,714
LeBEAU:
From here.
434
00:18:32,755 --> 00:18:34,215
No kidding?
435
00:18:34,257 --> 00:18:35,174
Tomorrow night?
From here?
436
00:18:35,216 --> 00:18:36,384
Check.
437
00:18:36,426 --> 00:18:37,093
Check.
438
00:18:37,135 --> 00:18:38,344
Check.
439
00:18:38,386 --> 00:18:39,429
Check.
440
00:18:44,142 --> 00:18:45,059
Guten tag.
441
00:18:45,101 --> 00:18:46,227
Oh, hi, Sarge.
442
00:18:46,269 --> 00:18:49,856
Hey, listen, I'm really sorry
about that trick radio.
443
00:18:49,897 --> 00:18:52,900
Why, the guys really
pulled a fast one on me.
444
00:18:52,942 --> 00:18:55,153
Ja, ja, well, I
give you chance
445
00:18:55,194 --> 00:18:56,696
to make up for that.
446
00:18:56,696 --> 00:18:59,115
I, uh... I need
some information.
447
00:18:59,157 --> 00:19:00,199
What do you mean?
448
00:19:00,241 --> 00:19:01,367
I've heard a rumor
449
00:19:01,367 --> 00:19:03,786
there is something on
for tonight.
450
00:19:03,828 --> 00:19:06,039
Do you know anything
about this?
451
00:19:06,039 --> 00:19:07,749
You mean like an escape?
452
00:19:07,790 --> 00:19:09,334
Possibly.
453
00:19:09,375 --> 00:19:12,420
Where do you come off asking me
a question like that?
454
00:19:12,462 --> 00:19:14,339
Just because
I turned a radio in,
455
00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:16,841
don't think I'm going
to rat on my buddies.
456
00:19:16,883 --> 00:19:18,718
Now, you get this straight, pal,
457
00:19:18,801 --> 00:19:20,553
I'm no fink
and don't ever forget it.
458
00:19:20,553 --> 00:19:21,721
Take it easy.
459
00:19:21,721 --> 00:19:23,306
What a nerve.
460
00:19:23,348 --> 00:19:25,391
Oh, by the way, Sarge,
461
00:19:25,391 --> 00:19:27,393
if I don't ever see you again
after tonight,
462
00:19:27,435 --> 00:19:28,853
it's been a real pleasure
knowing you.
463
00:19:41,282 --> 00:19:42,408
He's posting the guard.
464
00:19:42,408 --> 00:19:43,910
All right,
he'll be here in a minute.
465
00:19:43,951 --> 00:19:45,370
He'll stick with us,
you can bet on that.
466
00:19:45,411 --> 00:19:46,579
Everybody got
the plan straight?
467
00:19:46,579 --> 00:19:48,247
Yeah, the captain gets
in the tunnel and waits.
468
00:19:48,289 --> 00:19:49,540
As soon as the alarm goes,
469
00:19:49,582 --> 00:19:50,583
I guide him through
to the woods.
470
00:19:50,625 --> 00:19:52,085
Right. Now make sure
Krebs is out of the way
471
00:19:52,085 --> 00:19:53,336
before you move.
472
00:19:53,378 --> 00:19:54,921
Carter, you and LeBeau
get in my office
473
00:19:54,963 --> 00:19:56,255
as soon as you can.
474
00:19:56,255 --> 00:19:57,924
We'll use the window
to get out. Right.
475
00:19:57,924 --> 00:20:00,843
Ah-ha. I'm going back
to little old England.
476
00:20:00,885 --> 00:20:01,886
And next time
you're captured,
477
00:20:01,928 --> 00:20:03,930
find yourself
another POW camp.
478
00:20:03,972 --> 00:20:05,765
He made me barbecue
K rations for him.
479
00:20:05,807 --> 00:20:08,267
Americans.
480
00:20:08,267 --> 00:20:09,435
He's moving this way.
481
00:20:09,477 --> 00:20:11,521
All right, Lone Ranger,
hide in the tunnel.
482
00:20:11,562 --> 00:20:13,690
Hi-ho, Silver.
483
00:20:15,108 --> 00:20:16,275
Newkirk, get started.
484
00:20:16,275 --> 00:20:17,235
Right.
485
00:20:17,276 --> 00:20:18,319
Now, let me show
you a trick.
486
00:20:18,361 --> 00:20:19,779
All right.
487
00:20:19,821 --> 00:20:21,781
This one is always
a crowd pleaser.
488
00:20:21,781 --> 00:20:23,116
Take a card.
489
00:20:23,116 --> 00:20:24,242
Guten abend,
gentlemen.
490
00:20:24,283 --> 00:20:25,618
Put it back.
I don't want to see it.
491
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:26,452
I don't want to see it.
Okay.
492
00:20:26,494 --> 00:20:27,245
All right?
Yeah.
493
00:20:27,286 --> 00:20:28,454
Very quiet
this evening, huh?
494
00:20:28,496 --> 00:20:30,289
Right.
Go ahead.
495
00:20:30,289 --> 00:20:32,625
Oh, that's fabulous.
How do you do it?
496
00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:35,295
Evening. Evening.
Oh, that's great.
497
00:20:35,295 --> 00:20:37,130
Oh, how's that...?
498
00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:38,715
Hello, hello,
hello, hello.
499
00:20:38,756 --> 00:20:41,426
I thought there
was one missing.
500
00:20:41,467 --> 00:20:42,844
That's too much!
Too much!
501
00:20:42,885 --> 00:20:45,221
I tell you, this man's
a walking deck of cards.
502
00:20:45,263 --> 00:20:46,264
Can you believe it?
503
00:20:46,306 --> 00:20:47,223
Let me show you.
504
00:20:47,265 --> 00:20:48,433
You'll like this trick.
505
00:20:48,474 --> 00:20:49,475
Do that again.
506
00:20:49,517 --> 00:20:50,476
Come here.
Now watch this.
507
00:20:50,476 --> 00:20:51,644
I want you to take
any card at all.
508
00:20:51,686 --> 00:20:52,645
Come here,
any card at all.
509
00:20:52,645 --> 00:20:54,647
Any card.
510
00:20:54,647 --> 00:20:55,648
Don't let me see it.
511
00:20:55,648 --> 00:20:56,858
I don't want
to see it, right.
512
00:20:56,899 --> 00:20:58,401
Right, put it back,
put it back.
513
00:20:58,443 --> 00:20:59,402
I put it back.
514
00:20:59,444 --> 00:21:01,279
Just remember it,
right, put it back.
515
00:21:01,321 --> 00:21:02,739
Mix them up.
There you go.
516
00:21:02,780 --> 00:21:04,574
I'm going to think
of that card.
517
00:21:04,615 --> 00:21:07,035
Think of that
card. Right.
518
00:21:07,076 --> 00:21:08,328
Cut 'em once.
519
00:21:08,369 --> 00:21:10,913
That's your card,
isn't it?
520
00:21:10,955 --> 00:21:12,665
Listen, there must be
a trick to that, huh?
521
00:21:12,665 --> 00:21:14,500
Oh, I never said there wasn't
a trick to it, did I?
522
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:15,501
Do it again.
523
00:21:20,798 --> 00:21:22,467
Was it the eight
of diamonds?
524
00:21:22,508 --> 00:21:24,510
Ja, it was the
eight of diamonds.
525
00:21:24,510 --> 00:21:25,303
Isn't that fantastic?
526
00:21:33,686 --> 00:21:34,729
Do it... do it again.
Do it again.
527
00:21:35,063 --> 00:21:36,022
Do it again.
528
00:21:36,064 --> 00:21:37,023
Okay, all right.
529
00:21:37,065 --> 00:21:38,191
You have nothing
up your...?
530
00:21:41,361 --> 00:21:43,363
Halt.
531
00:21:43,404 --> 00:21:45,448
Hold it, Schultz, it's only us.
532
00:21:45,490 --> 00:21:48,409
What are you doing here?
533
00:21:48,451 --> 00:21:49,535
We're escaping, buddy.
534
00:21:49,535 --> 00:21:50,953
And you're going
to catch us.
535
00:21:50,995 --> 00:21:52,330
I am?
536
00:21:52,372 --> 00:21:54,666
Then Klink forgets the transfer,
and you're a big shot.
537
00:21:54,707 --> 00:21:57,043
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Start yelling,
Schultz, for the dogs.
538
00:21:57,043 --> 00:21:58,044
No, no, no.
539
00:21:58,044 --> 00:22:01,297
With my luck, nothing works.
540
00:22:01,339 --> 00:22:03,466
Some people.
You try to help 'em, huh?
541
00:22:03,508 --> 00:22:05,385
All right, you guys
start yelling.
542
00:22:05,426 --> 00:22:06,552
Commandant!
543
00:22:06,552 --> 00:22:08,471
Quiet. You'll wake Klink up.
544
00:22:08,513 --> 00:22:10,139
Quit making trouble. Quiet!
545
00:22:16,062 --> 00:22:18,231
It must be an escape.
546
00:22:18,272 --> 00:22:18,898
An escape?
547
00:22:23,403 --> 00:22:24,529
Kinch!
548
00:22:35,873 --> 00:22:38,543
Quiet! Quiet!
549
00:22:38,584 --> 00:22:39,961
Quiet!
550
00:22:46,801 --> 00:22:49,220
What is this?
551
00:22:49,262 --> 00:22:50,513
We were to trying to escape,
552
00:22:50,555 --> 00:22:51,973
and this rat, Schultz,
caught us.
553
00:22:52,015 --> 00:22:55,310
Yes, Herr Kommandant,
this rat, Schultz, caught them.
554
00:22:55,351 --> 00:22:56,769
If not for him,
we would have made it.
555
00:22:56,811 --> 00:22:58,271
Bah. Cochon.
556
00:22:58,354 --> 00:23:00,523
Boy, a guy hasn't got
a chance with him around.
557
00:23:00,565 --> 00:23:02,275
Herr Kommandant.
558
00:23:02,275 --> 00:23:03,568
Herr Kommandant.
559
00:23:03,609 --> 00:23:06,863
Herr Kommandant,
there has been an escape.
560
00:23:06,904 --> 00:23:11,576
Thank you for that interesting
news bulletin, Sergeant.
561
00:23:11,617 --> 00:23:13,119
Happy landings, Captain.
562
00:23:13,161 --> 00:23:14,370
Thanks, old buddy.
563
00:23:14,412 --> 00:23:15,872
See you in Fort Worth.
564
00:23:21,252 --> 00:23:23,046
Why didn't you know
about this, Sergeant?
565
00:23:23,087 --> 00:23:24,130
Sir, I had information
566
00:23:24,130 --> 00:23:26,174
the escape would take place
from the barracks.
567
00:23:26,215 --> 00:23:27,216
I was watching there.
568
00:23:27,258 --> 00:23:29,010
You fool, that
was a diversion.
569
00:23:29,052 --> 00:23:30,470
This is the real escape.
570
00:23:30,470 --> 00:23:31,971
I'm sorry,
Herr Kommandant.
571
00:23:32,013 --> 00:23:34,057
Being sorry does not
prevent escapes.
572
00:23:34,098 --> 00:23:35,600
You are hereby
relieved of duty,
573
00:23:35,642 --> 00:23:37,518
and you will be transferred
out of here at once.
574
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:38,811
Dismissed.
575
00:23:38,853 --> 00:23:42,023
Schultz, you will resume
as Sergeant of the Guard.
576
00:23:42,065 --> 00:23:44,359
Now, your transfer
is being revoked.
577
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:45,985
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
578
00:23:46,027 --> 00:23:47,654
Colonel, I protest.
579
00:23:47,695 --> 00:23:48,821
This man is inhuman.
580
00:23:48,863 --> 00:23:51,699
He's a monster with eyes
in the back of his head.
581
00:23:51,741 --> 00:23:53,451
And the pair in
front ain't bad either.
582
00:23:53,826 --> 00:23:54,911
Silence.
583
00:23:54,952 --> 00:23:57,163
Gentlemen, your protests
are music to my ears.
584
00:23:57,205 --> 00:23:58,873
We need men like
Sergeant Schultz
585
00:23:58,915 --> 00:24:01,751
to maintain the reputation
of Stalag 13.
586
00:24:01,793 --> 00:24:04,504
Schultz, Hogan is confined
to the barracks,
587
00:24:04,545 --> 00:24:07,674
and these two idiots
get two weeks in the cooler.
588
00:24:07,674 --> 00:24:08,925
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
589
00:24:15,306 --> 00:24:16,975
Congratulations,
Schultz, we did it.
590
00:24:17,016 --> 00:24:18,685
Right, we got your
transfer canceled.
591
00:24:20,019 --> 00:24:22,230
All right, let's go!
592
00:24:22,271 --> 00:24:25,441
One wrong step and I'll shoot.
593
00:24:25,483 --> 00:24:27,652
Get him, will you?
594
00:24:27,694 --> 00:24:30,655
How quickly they forget.
595
00:24:30,697 --> 00:24:32,490
Back! Back! Back!
40004
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