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1
00:00:49,476 --> 00:00:51,520
London's going to
transmit in two minutes.
2
00:00:51,562 --> 00:00:53,647
Schultz will be here
for the bed check.
3
00:00:53,647 --> 00:00:55,148
You know what
to do, LeBeau.
4
00:00:55,148 --> 00:00:56,316
Ready for him,
Colonel.
5
00:00:56,316 --> 00:00:57,985
Great.
6
00:01:04,658 --> 00:01:06,159
Guten Abend, Schultz.
7
00:01:06,159 --> 00:01:08,036
LeBeau, you
should be in bed.
8
00:01:08,078 --> 00:01:09,705
Everybody
should be asleep
9
00:01:09,746 --> 00:01:11,707
so that I can
count the... strudel.
10
00:01:12,332 --> 00:01:17,254
Real, live strudel.
11
00:01:17,296 --> 00:01:19,006
I made some extra. Go ahead.
12
00:01:19,047 --> 00:01:21,800
You are a wonderful person
for an enemy.
13
00:01:24,553 --> 00:01:28,640
Mmm! Wunderbar!
14
00:01:28,682 --> 00:01:30,350
It sings, eh, Schultz?
15
00:01:30,475 --> 00:01:31,518
Ja. Now it sings.
16
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:32,895
Later on, it growls.
17
00:01:32,936 --> 00:01:35,022
Does your wife
ever make strudel?
18
00:01:35,022 --> 00:01:37,065
Oh, please. Don't
mention my wife,
19
00:01:37,107 --> 00:01:38,525
not even in the dark.
20
00:01:38,525 --> 00:01:40,861
Why? She doesn't cook very good?
21
00:01:40,861 --> 00:01:44,448
Since the war, she works
in a munitions factory,
22
00:01:44,489 --> 00:01:47,034
lifting up big,
heavy gun barrels.
23
00:01:47,075 --> 00:01:49,119
Hey, that's a hard job.
24
00:01:49,161 --> 00:01:52,497
Ja. If they ever find out
that she is a woman,
25
00:01:52,539 --> 00:01:53,498
they'll fire her.
26
00:01:56,376 --> 00:01:58,212
Now I have
to check the beds.
27
00:01:58,253 --> 00:01:59,880
Have more strudel.
28
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:01,715
Danke.
29
00:02:01,715 --> 00:02:03,217
Good night.
30
00:02:03,217 --> 00:02:05,093
Wait. Wait. I have
to check the beds.
31
00:02:05,135 --> 00:02:06,303
Everybody is here.
32
00:02:06,345 --> 00:02:07,471
How do you know?
33
00:02:07,513 --> 00:02:09,431
I counted them myself.
34
00:02:09,473 --> 00:02:11,183
Why do it twice?
35
00:02:11,225 --> 00:02:15,938
You're not only a good cook,
you're also smart.
36
00:02:20,484 --> 00:02:22,569
What's the flap,
Colonel?
37
00:02:22,569 --> 00:02:27,407
Uh... "Top secret. Urgent.
Immediate action. Priority one."
38
00:02:27,407 --> 00:02:28,909
You think they're trying
to tell us something?
39
00:02:28,909 --> 00:02:31,578
"Lost contact with Agent Willie,
40
00:02:31,578 --> 00:02:34,915
"waiter at Hausner Hof Hotel
in Hamilburg.
41
00:02:34,915 --> 00:02:37,417
"Regular channels too risky.
42
00:02:37,417 --> 00:02:41,880
"Message for Willie: Cancel
weapons drop scheduled for 17th.
43
00:02:41,922 --> 00:02:43,882
"Trap suspected.
44
00:02:43,924 --> 00:02:46,885
Extreme danger to valuable
underground unit."
45
00:02:46,927 --> 00:02:49,555
Well, how are you supposed
to know this guy Willie?
46
00:02:49,596 --> 00:02:50,931
Recognition code.
47
00:02:50,973 --> 00:02:52,808
"Do you know 'Lili Marlene'?"
48
00:02:52,850 --> 00:02:56,186
The answer has to be, "Yes.
Can you spare a cigarette?"
49
00:02:56,228 --> 00:02:57,729
Well, who you going
to send, Colonel?
50
00:02:57,771 --> 00:03:00,941
Me. I'll go out through the
emergency tunnel tomorrow night.
51
00:03:00,941 --> 00:03:02,943
Kinch, I want you
to code this message
52
00:03:02,985 --> 00:03:04,611
and put it
in a cigarette pack.
53
00:03:04,653 --> 00:03:07,531
Newkirk, what about a civilian
suit this time for me?
54
00:03:07,573 --> 00:03:09,032
Righto, Guvnor.
You got it.
55
00:03:09,074 --> 00:03:13,203
Good. "Civilian."
What a beautiful word.
56
00:03:13,245 --> 00:03:14,204
Next to "girls."
57
00:03:14,246 --> 00:03:16,456
Colonel, don't
you ever think
58
00:03:16,456 --> 00:03:18,333
about anything
else but dames?
59
00:03:18,375 --> 00:03:20,419
Of course I do, but I fight it.
60
00:03:36,685 --> 00:03:39,188
Another 30 feet, and they'll
cross the emergency tunnel.
61
00:03:39,229 --> 00:03:40,898
What's their ruddy game?
62
00:03:40,939 --> 00:03:42,858
We tried asking
the Krauts, but no luck.
63
00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:44,401
What about Schultz?
64
00:03:44,443 --> 00:03:45,736
He won't talk.
65
00:03:45,777 --> 00:03:47,237
Not even to me,
66
00:03:47,279 --> 00:03:49,239
and I got him hooked
on apple strudel.
67
00:03:49,281 --> 00:03:50,699
What's taking
so long here?
68
00:03:50,741 --> 00:03:52,159
I don't know.
69
00:03:52,159 --> 00:03:53,619
Blimey, it's cold!
70
00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:55,996
It sure is. My nose
is about to fall off.
71
00:03:55,996 --> 00:03:57,831
Wouldn't hurt
your appearance a bit.
72
00:03:57,873 --> 00:03:59,541
Might help,
as a matter of fact,
73
00:03:59,583 --> 00:04:02,002
Hey, Schultz, let's get
this show on the road.
74
00:04:02,044 --> 00:04:03,504
What's the delay?
75
00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:04,880
I know nothing. Nothing!
76
00:04:04,922 --> 00:04:06,840
Report!
77
00:04:06,882 --> 00:04:10,344
Herr Kommandant,
all present and accounted for.
78
00:04:10,385 --> 00:04:11,845
Good.
79
00:04:11,887 --> 00:04:14,139
Now, gentlemen, I have
ordered this formation
80
00:04:14,181 --> 00:04:15,807
for the purpose
of telling you...
81
00:04:15,849 --> 00:04:17,434
Colonel, I'd like
to volunteer my command
82
00:04:17,476 --> 00:04:19,353
for work on the construction
outside the wire.
83
00:04:19,353 --> 00:04:21,104
How very kind of you,
Colonel Hogan.
84
00:04:21,146 --> 00:04:24,191
Do some useful work and find out
exactly what we are doing there.
85
00:04:24,191 --> 00:04:25,859
Am I correct?
86
00:04:25,859 --> 00:04:28,237
Well, it did cross my mind.
87
00:04:28,278 --> 00:04:31,323
Of course.
But that won't be necessary.
88
00:04:31,365 --> 00:04:33,033
I have called
this formation
89
00:04:33,075 --> 00:04:35,577
for the purpose of telling
you what is happening.
90
00:04:35,619 --> 00:04:37,913
Now, prisoners,
I wish to inform you
91
00:04:37,955 --> 00:04:41,667
that the wire surrounding
this camp is being electrified.
92
00:04:41,708 --> 00:04:43,585
He can't do that.
Electrified?
93
00:04:43,627 --> 00:04:45,671
That's not
so amusing, huh?
94
00:04:45,712 --> 00:04:49,049
The perimeter wire and the gates
will carry enough voltage
95
00:04:49,049 --> 00:04:51,134
to electrocute anyone
who touches it.
96
00:04:51,176 --> 00:04:53,303
Now, let a word to
the wise be sufficient.
97
00:04:53,345 --> 00:04:56,431
Stalag 13 remains escape-proof.
98
00:04:56,473 --> 00:04:58,976
Thank you, Mr. Wonderful.
99
00:04:59,017 --> 00:05:01,228
Dismissed!
100
00:05:01,228 --> 00:05:03,272
Electrified fence?
That's terrible!
101
00:05:03,313 --> 00:05:05,482
Another first
for Stalag 13.
102
00:05:05,524 --> 00:05:08,902
Well, at least now we can
get fried without drinking.
103
00:05:11,405 --> 00:05:14,241
You won't be able to use that
emergency tunnel now, Colonel.
104
00:05:14,283 --> 00:05:15,659
Sure, he will.
105
00:05:15,701 --> 00:05:17,369
They're not digging
deep enough to find it.
106
00:05:17,411 --> 00:05:19,913
Yeah, but they'll be
guarding their equipment.
107
00:05:19,955 --> 00:05:21,415
I'll have to get
out some other way.
108
00:05:33,385 --> 00:05:34,928
Carter,
check out here.
109
00:06:27,397 --> 00:06:29,024
There's nothing
out here.
110
00:06:29,066 --> 00:06:30,734
Well, my office is bugged,
all right.
111
00:06:30,776 --> 00:06:33,362
They must have done it when
they electrified the fence.
112
00:06:33,403 --> 00:06:35,531
And while we were
out there on formation.
113
00:06:35,572 --> 00:06:36,990
Yeah. Klink figures we do
114
00:06:37,032 --> 00:06:38,659
all our escape planning
in my office.
115
00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:40,160
Shall we tear out
those microphones?
116
00:06:40,202 --> 00:06:41,662
No. Hold it a minute.
117
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:43,747
Maybe we'll be able to use them
to our own advantage.
118
00:06:45,874 --> 00:06:49,378
Gentlemen,
Stalag 13 Theater of the Air
119
00:06:49,419 --> 00:06:51,922
is about to have
its world premiere.
120
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:57,177
Come in.
121
00:06:57,177 --> 00:06:58,428
Evening, Colonel.
122
00:06:58,470 --> 00:07:00,013
Hi, Colonel.
123
00:07:00,013 --> 00:07:01,807
Good evening, Colonel.
124
00:07:01,849 --> 00:07:05,352
Colonel, we'd like
a word with you.
125
00:07:05,352 --> 00:07:06,770
Okay. Sit down, men.
126
00:07:09,356 --> 00:07:13,652
Here. I'll just put away
my German grammar book.
127
00:07:15,362 --> 00:07:17,155
Beautiful language.
128
00:07:17,197 --> 00:07:18,657
What's on your minds?
129
00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:21,243
Sir, we have
an escape plan.
130
00:07:21,285 --> 00:07:22,661
We want your approval.
131
00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:24,288
It's absolutely foolproof.
132
00:07:24,329 --> 00:07:26,373
There's not a chance
it can fail.
133
00:07:26,373 --> 00:07:29,376
It's 100% perfect in
every respect. Can't miss.
134
00:07:29,376 --> 00:07:30,878
It may even work.
135
00:07:30,878 --> 00:07:34,882
Of course it will work,
if it's properly exe...
136
00:07:34,882 --> 00:07:37,885
cuted. Executed.
137
00:07:37,885 --> 00:07:40,679
Yeah, yeah, uh...
look, I'm not in favor
138
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,890
of escape attempts
at this time.
139
00:07:45,058 --> 00:07:46,476
With his usual
brilliant efficiency,
140
00:07:46,518 --> 00:07:48,061
Colonel Klink is
electrifying the wire.
141
00:07:48,103 --> 00:07:51,106
I can short out the wire.
142
00:07:51,148 --> 00:07:53,567
And then we put
a ladder up against it
143
00:07:53,567 --> 00:07:55,360
and go over,
any dark night.
144
00:07:55,402 --> 00:07:56,862
And we're away.
145
00:07:56,904 --> 00:07:59,072
LeBEAU: Yeah. That'll
show the lousy Krauts.
146
00:07:59,072 --> 00:08:02,201
Corporal, I wish you
wouldn't use that language.
147
00:08:02,242 --> 00:08:03,744
And why not,
may I ask?
148
00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:05,787
They are pigs,
animals, brutes...
149
00:08:05,829 --> 00:08:07,915
The lowest form of life
on earth.
150
00:08:07,915 --> 00:08:09,958
Sure, but how do you
really feel about them?
151
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,084
Deep down,
152
00:08:11,084 --> 00:08:12,586
don't you have
a sneaking admiration
153
00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:14,087
for the way
they conduct themselves?
154
00:08:14,129 --> 00:08:15,756
There's a very good chance
they're going to win the war.
155
00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:18,509
Never thought I'd hear
you talk like that, sir.
156
00:08:18,550 --> 00:08:21,595
Colonel, are you going
soft on the Krauts?
157
00:08:21,595 --> 00:08:24,556
Let's just say that
I'm being realistic.
158
00:08:24,598 --> 00:08:29,353
Oh, LeBeau, I brought your...
your plate back.
159
00:08:29,394 --> 00:08:30,687
Okay, Schultz.
160
00:08:30,729 --> 00:08:32,189
Oh, it was delicious.
161
00:08:32,231 --> 00:08:34,107
But you know
what happened?
162
00:08:34,107 --> 00:08:35,984
Klink saw me
eat the strudel.
163
00:08:36,193 --> 00:08:37,611
He almost killed me.
164
00:08:37,653 --> 00:08:38,695
Oh, he is a devil.
165
00:08:44,576 --> 00:08:46,537
He's a devil, all right,
166
00:08:46,578 --> 00:08:50,207
but the most lovable
devil in Germany today.
167
00:08:50,249 --> 00:08:54,545
When he saw me eat the strudel,
you know what he did?
168
00:08:54,586 --> 00:08:56,964
He canceled
my next leave.
169
00:08:56,964 --> 00:08:59,424
But he was
absolutely right!
170
00:08:59,466 --> 00:09:01,301
I deserve it.
171
00:09:01,301 --> 00:09:07,140
Oh, Kommandant Klink
is like a father to me.
172
00:09:07,182 --> 00:09:10,435
Well, I see you later.
173
00:09:10,477 --> 00:09:12,479
Obey the rules,
174
00:09:12,521 --> 00:09:17,150
or I have to do my duty,
and report you!
175
00:09:18,944 --> 00:09:21,071
Bye. Bye.
176
00:09:22,531 --> 00:09:25,200
Colonel, what about
our escape plan?
177
00:09:25,242 --> 00:09:26,827
I'll think it over.
178
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:28,829
But don't get
your hopes too high.
179
00:09:30,289 --> 00:09:31,999
All right, dismissed!
180
00:09:35,127 --> 00:09:37,838
Yes, Herr General,
a definite pro-German attitude.
181
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,340
He even refuses an escape plan.
182
00:09:40,382 --> 00:09:43,343
It's all in the recording
that I made.
183
00:09:43,385 --> 00:09:45,012
What's that, sir?
184
00:09:45,053 --> 00:09:47,514
Oh, I had his quarters bugged.
185
00:09:47,556 --> 00:09:50,434
It's part of my new
electrification program.
186
00:09:50,475 --> 00:09:53,187
Oh, we are on the ball here
at Stalag 13.
187
00:09:53,187 --> 00:09:55,272
Get off the ball and go to work?
188
00:09:55,314 --> 00:09:56,857
Yes, indeed, sir.
189
00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:59,610
What are your orders,
Herr General?
190
00:09:59,651 --> 00:10:01,361
Play up to Hogan?
191
00:10:01,695 --> 00:10:03,197
Oh, I see.
192
00:10:03,197 --> 00:10:06,867
Make life easier,
and don't be too obvious.
193
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:10,120
Well, you know me
when it comes to being subtle.
194
00:10:10,162 --> 00:10:12,873
Yes, we can discuss that
at another time.
195
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:16,376
I will follow your orders,
Herr General, and report.
196
00:10:16,376 --> 00:10:18,045
Thank you, General Burkhalter.
197
00:10:19,421 --> 00:10:22,049
Now, take the pillows
and put it on the bed.
198
00:10:22,090 --> 00:10:24,885
And you take this
and put it over there.
199
00:10:28,597 --> 00:10:30,724
Schultz, what's
going on?
200
00:10:30,724 --> 00:10:33,644
Our beloved and
wonderful Kommandant
201
00:10:33,685 --> 00:10:37,231
wants you to be as
comfortable as possible.
202
00:10:37,231 --> 00:10:38,732
That's very kind
of him, Schultz.
203
00:10:38,732 --> 00:10:42,402
He is a wonderful,
beloved Kommandant.
204
00:10:44,071 --> 00:10:45,572
Something wrong?
205
00:10:47,783 --> 00:10:49,284
Take this
and get it autographed.
206
00:10:52,412 --> 00:10:54,748
Well, Colonel Hogan,
here we are,
207
00:10:54,748 --> 00:10:57,709
you and I having
a little kaffeeklatsch,
208
00:10:57,751 --> 00:10:59,169
talking things over.
209
00:10:59,211 --> 00:11:00,712
Now, you must confess,
210
00:11:00,754 --> 00:11:02,840
I am not the worst
man in Germany, am I?
211
00:11:02,881 --> 00:11:05,175
Well, I don't know everybody.
212
00:11:05,217 --> 00:11:07,845
Actually, Commandant,
I understand you
213
00:11:07,886 --> 00:11:09,346
a lot better than you think.
214
00:11:09,388 --> 00:11:10,848
Really?
215
00:11:10,889 --> 00:11:12,099
Not many people know this
216
00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:14,226
but, originally,
my name was Hoganmueller.
217
00:11:14,268 --> 00:11:15,769
Hoganmueller?
218
00:11:15,811 --> 00:11:17,104
Remarkable!
219
00:11:17,145 --> 00:11:19,147
You're one of us?
220
00:11:19,189 --> 00:11:20,941
From way back.
221
00:11:20,983 --> 00:11:22,860
That makes
a big difference.
222
00:11:22,901 --> 00:11:24,820
Well, frankly,
Colonel Hogan,
223
00:11:24,862 --> 00:11:28,365
I would like to improve our
relationship even more.
224
00:11:28,407 --> 00:11:32,077
Tell me, what is it you
would like most in this world?
225
00:11:32,119 --> 00:11:34,621
Hmm... let me think.
226
00:11:34,621 --> 00:11:36,790
You can't make up your mind?
227
00:11:36,790 --> 00:11:39,501
I know what I want. It's
a question: blonde or brunette?
228
00:11:39,543 --> 00:11:44,464
What a marvelous
German-American sense of humor.
229
00:11:44,464 --> 00:11:46,383
Seriously, Commandant,
there is one thing.
230
00:11:46,425 --> 00:11:47,968
I'm getting a little rock happy.
231
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:50,179
Would it be possible
to go into town some night
232
00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:51,722
and have dinner
at the Hausner Hof?
233
00:11:51,763 --> 00:11:55,142
Unfortunately,
that's against regulations.
234
00:11:55,142 --> 00:11:56,268
Oh, of course.
235
00:11:56,310 --> 00:11:57,311
Forget it.
236
00:11:57,352 --> 00:11:58,562
No harm in trying.
237
00:11:58,604 --> 00:12:00,689
I'd better
be running along.
238
00:12:00,731 --> 00:12:03,650
I've had a lovely
time at your party.
239
00:12:03,692 --> 00:12:05,194
And tomorrow again?
240
00:12:05,235 --> 00:12:06,862
Why not?
Unless I sleep late.
241
00:12:06,904 --> 00:12:08,363
Good.
242
00:12:08,405 --> 00:12:09,698
Tell me, Hogan,
243
00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:10,949
is there
anything special
244
00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:12,492
you would like
for breakfast?
245
00:12:12,534 --> 00:12:15,370
Yeah. I'm very
fond of crumpets,
246
00:12:15,412 --> 00:12:16,997
but don't go
to any trouble,
247
00:12:17,039 --> 00:12:18,665
like capturing England.
248
00:12:21,376 --> 00:12:24,880
♪ Roll out the barrel
249
00:12:24,922 --> 00:12:27,591
♪ We've got the blues
on the run... ♪
250
00:12:27,633 --> 00:12:30,093
Hey, knock it off,
knock it off, will you?
251
00:12:30,135 --> 00:12:31,929
Hey, Colonel, tell the Glee Club
252
00:12:31,970 --> 00:12:33,764
to knock it off, please...
We want to talk to you.
253
00:12:33,805 --> 00:12:34,973
Oh, really?
254
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:37,226
♪ Now's the time
to the roll the barrel ♪
255
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:39,144
♪ For the gang's all here ♪
256
00:12:39,186 --> 00:12:41,438
All right, all right,
hold it down a minute, fellas.
257
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:42,648
What's the problem?
258
00:12:42,689 --> 00:12:44,066
We called this meeting, sir,
259
00:12:44,107 --> 00:12:45,484
'cause we got the needle
about you.
260
00:12:45,526 --> 00:12:46,610
What does that mean?
261
00:12:46,652 --> 00:12:48,070
You've been having breakfast
262
00:12:48,111 --> 00:12:49,154
with Klink every morning.
263
00:12:49,196 --> 00:12:50,405
Why, he's done over your room.
264
00:12:50,447 --> 00:12:51,740
And you've been
studying German.
265
00:12:51,782 --> 00:12:53,825
You even asked
for Hitler's autograph.
266
00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:56,286
Are those eagles on your
shoulders or vultures, sir?
267
00:12:56,328 --> 00:12:59,206
Wait a minute, where do you
come off talking to me like that?
268
00:12:59,206 --> 00:13:01,959
This is the first time my loyalty
has ever been questioned.
269
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,627
Whose side
are you on?
270
00:13:03,669 --> 00:13:05,838
Let me tell you guys
a few things.
271
00:13:05,879 --> 00:13:08,048
When I was a captain
at Mitchell Field,
272
00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:10,092
they gave me
top security clearance.
273
00:13:10,133 --> 00:13:12,636
I was the man
who helped them test
274
00:13:12,678 --> 00:13:15,055
the famous secret Norden...
275
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,348
♪ Zing ♪
276
00:13:16,390 --> 00:13:19,059
♪ Boom, tararrel
Norden Bomb Sight?!
277
00:13:19,101 --> 00:13:21,562
♪ Ring out a song of good
cheer ♪ Stop that singing!
278
00:13:21,603 --> 00:13:22,646
♪ Now's the time ♪
279
00:13:22,729 --> 00:13:24,356
♪ To roll the barrel
280
00:13:24,398 --> 00:13:26,692
♪ For the gang's all here... ♪
281
00:13:26,733 --> 00:13:28,360
Hold it, hold it.
282
00:13:28,402 --> 00:13:30,404
That's what the army
thought of my loyalty.
283
00:13:30,404 --> 00:13:32,114
How do we know that's
the truth, sir?
284
00:13:32,155 --> 00:13:33,907
You still doubt me, huh?
285
00:13:33,949 --> 00:13:36,493
All right,
I'll describe it.
286
00:13:36,535 --> 00:13:38,829
The Norden works
on the synchro-mesh principle
287
00:13:38,871 --> 00:13:40,914
and has a 4.2
interlocking... ♪ Zing
288
00:13:40,956 --> 00:13:44,751
♪ Boom, tarrarel ♪
Quiet! More details!
289
00:13:46,795 --> 00:13:49,089
And that's what accounts
for its tremendous accuracy.
290
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:51,341
The Norden is the only invention
of its kind in the world,
291
00:13:51,383 --> 00:13:53,719
that utilizes its own power,
292
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,220
which in turn,
as we all know...
293
00:13:55,262 --> 00:13:56,847
♪ We got the blues
on the run ♪
294
00:13:56,889 --> 00:13:59,725
for the last time,
it makes it possible
295
00:13:59,766 --> 00:14:03,854
to isolate the smallest objects
at a considerable distance.
296
00:14:03,896 --> 00:14:06,440
♪ Now's the time
to roll the barrel ♪
297
00:14:06,481 --> 00:14:08,609
♪ For the gang's
298
00:14:08,609 --> 00:14:10,277
♪ All
299
00:14:10,277 --> 00:14:13,071
♪ Here! ♪
300
00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:15,616
Yahoo!
Yahoo!
301
00:14:15,616 --> 00:14:17,284
No question about it,
Herr General,
302
00:14:17,326 --> 00:14:18,785
it is the Norden Bomb Sight.
303
00:14:18,785 --> 00:14:20,496
What's that, sir?
304
00:14:20,537 --> 00:14:23,332
Yes, I believe
he would give us the plans.
305
00:14:23,373 --> 00:14:24,958
I have been cultivating him,
306
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,127
and through
very clever investigation
307
00:14:27,169 --> 00:14:30,088
have found out that
he has a German background.
308
00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:34,134
His real name is Hoganmueller.
309
00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:37,930
Sir, no, I cannot reveal
that source, even to you.
310
00:14:37,971 --> 00:14:40,641
Yes, it would be an excellent
idea if you came here.
311
00:14:40,682 --> 00:14:42,267
It would impress Hogan.
312
00:14:42,309 --> 00:14:44,645
Yes, sir, I will make
all the necessary arrangements.
313
00:14:44,645 --> 00:14:47,314
By the way, General,
when you come here,
314
00:14:47,356 --> 00:14:50,984
I have a little surprise
for you.
315
00:14:51,026 --> 00:14:52,819
Yes, sir!
316
00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:59,493
Herr Commandant,
General Burkhalter
317
00:14:59,493 --> 00:15:02,162
passed through Hamilburg
ten minutes ago.
318
00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:04,456
Good, he will be here
any minute now.
319
00:15:04,498 --> 00:15:05,958
The control switch.
320
00:15:15,509 --> 00:15:17,678
Wait. Stop it.
321
00:15:17,719 --> 00:15:20,681
Stop it! Stop the car!
322
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:23,517
Welcome, Herr General.
323
00:15:23,517 --> 00:15:26,103
Oh, I stopped the car
because I want to show you
324
00:15:26,144 --> 00:15:28,856
the little surprise I mentioned
to you on the phone.
325
00:15:28,897 --> 00:15:32,109
Herr General, my
escape-proof gates.
326
00:15:32,150 --> 00:15:35,070
These are foolproof,
and they work perfectly.
327
00:15:37,322 --> 00:15:38,657
That's a mistake, sir.
328
00:15:38,699 --> 00:15:40,617
Schultz, the controls!
329
00:15:42,327 --> 00:15:43,662
General Burkhalter,
330
00:15:43,704 --> 00:15:45,330
that idiot, Schultz!
331
00:15:45,372 --> 00:15:46,707
Dummkopf!
332
00:15:49,835 --> 00:15:51,670
I assure you...
333
00:15:51,712 --> 00:15:54,339
Here, here,
let me help you up...
334
00:15:54,381 --> 00:15:55,966
It will not
happen again.
335
00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:00,929
You know, I think
I saw this act once...
336
00:16:00,971 --> 00:16:03,140
At the circus.
337
00:16:05,893 --> 00:16:08,312
Judging by that recording,
338
00:16:08,353 --> 00:16:12,357
there's hardly any question Hogan
knows the Norden Bomb Sight.
339
00:16:12,399 --> 00:16:13,775
You can see, Herr General,
340
00:16:13,817 --> 00:16:15,819
that we are doing
excellent work here.
341
00:16:15,861 --> 00:16:18,238
Ja? Like those gates?
342
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,324
That was just
a malfunction, sir.
343
00:16:20,365 --> 00:16:24,745
Be careful I don't malfunction
you right to the Russian front.
344
00:16:24,786 --> 00:16:27,581
But is Hogan ready to
tell us about the Norden?
345
00:16:27,581 --> 00:16:29,708
I have been working
on him, Herr General.
346
00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:31,293
Even if I say so myself,
347
00:16:31,335 --> 00:16:33,462
when I turn on the charm,
348
00:16:33,504 --> 00:16:35,422
I can be irresistible.
349
00:16:35,464 --> 00:16:38,258
I have never had any
trouble resisting you.
350
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:40,260
Very good, sir.
351
00:16:40,302 --> 00:16:42,679
I have ordered one of our
engineering specialists,
352
00:16:42,721 --> 00:16:44,097
Major Klopfer, to come here.
353
00:16:44,139 --> 00:16:45,265
He will arrive tonight.
354
00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:46,725
Yes, sir.
355
00:16:46,767 --> 00:16:49,311
Now, let me see what we
can do with Colonel Hogan.
356
00:16:49,353 --> 00:16:50,771
I will have him
brought here.
357
00:16:50,771 --> 00:16:52,731
We will start strenuous
interrogation at once.
358
00:16:52,773 --> 00:16:54,775
Klink, you're not
only irresistible,
359
00:16:54,775 --> 00:16:56,276
but you're also
very subtle.
360
00:16:56,318 --> 00:16:57,611
Thank you, sir.
361
00:16:57,611 --> 00:16:59,905
Like a broken leg.
362
00:16:59,947 --> 00:17:03,325
Hogan requires
very delicate handling.
363
00:17:03,367 --> 00:17:06,286
Tell me, is there anything
particularly he wants?
364
00:17:06,328 --> 00:17:09,373
Um, let me see.
Oh, yes.
365
00:17:09,414 --> 00:17:12,793
He expressed a desire to go
into town some evening for dinner
366
00:17:12,793 --> 00:17:15,295
at one of the local
hotels, the Hausner Hof.
367
00:17:15,337 --> 00:17:17,714
That's something to go on.
368
00:17:17,756 --> 00:17:19,007
Arrange a little party.
369
00:17:19,049 --> 00:17:21,760
That is exactly what I was
thinking, Herr General.
370
00:17:21,802 --> 00:17:25,097
Good food and enough wine
to make him talkative.
371
00:17:25,138 --> 00:17:28,600
And perhaps even some
charming feminine company.
372
00:17:28,642 --> 00:17:30,435
That is an excellent idea.
373
00:17:30,477 --> 00:17:33,647
By the way, I have this
young lady friend, Gretchen.
374
00:17:33,647 --> 00:17:36,191
I met her at the Strength
Through Joy picnic...
375
00:17:36,233 --> 00:17:37,401
Please.
376
00:17:37,442 --> 00:17:39,278
Spare me the details.
377
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,613
Just arrange the party.
378
00:17:41,655 --> 00:17:44,032
And have him wear
one of our uniforms.
379
00:17:44,074 --> 00:17:45,784
It's good psychologically.
380
00:17:45,826 --> 00:17:46,869
Yes, Herr General.
381
00:17:46,910 --> 00:17:48,662
Now, let me tell you
about this lady...
382
00:17:52,166 --> 00:17:55,544
And then I said, "If you
don't mind, mein Fuhrer,
383
00:17:55,586 --> 00:17:58,881
this year I will take
my vacation in England."
384
00:18:02,509 --> 00:18:04,553
The general is
a very amusing man.
385
00:18:04,595 --> 00:18:06,305
A barrel of laughs.
386
00:18:06,346 --> 00:18:08,348
There's also
a physical resemblance.
387
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:13,478
Colonel, you are the
funniest man I have ever met.
388
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,063
What's the matter
with me?
389
00:18:15,105 --> 00:18:17,107
Would you like us
to make a list?
390
00:18:17,149 --> 00:18:20,485
Waiter! More champagne
for everybody.
391
00:18:20,527 --> 00:18:21,904
Jawohl, Herr General.
392
00:18:21,945 --> 00:18:24,698
Oh. Oh, thank you.
393
00:18:24,698 --> 00:18:27,743
By the way, uh,
do you know Lili Marlene?
394
00:18:27,784 --> 00:18:30,204
No, but I'll ask
the orchestra leader.
395
00:18:30,245 --> 00:18:31,955
Forget it.
396
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,668
Gretchen, my dear,
would you care to dance?
397
00:18:36,710 --> 00:18:38,086
I'm sorry, Liebchen,
398
00:18:38,128 --> 00:18:39,922
I'm a little
tired tonight.
399
00:18:39,963 --> 00:18:42,466
It's been years since
I've done any dancing.
400
00:18:42,508 --> 00:18:45,469
I thought you would
never ask me.
401
00:18:45,511 --> 00:18:48,180
Either you've got it
or you haven't.
402
00:18:51,058 --> 00:18:55,145
Careful, honey, you're
gonna melt Klink's monocle.
403
00:18:55,187 --> 00:18:57,648
You dance very
well, Colonel.
404
00:18:57,689 --> 00:19:01,610
Thank you. I used to take
notes at Fred Astaire movies.
405
00:19:01,652 --> 00:19:04,071
Hogan is having
a good time.
406
00:19:04,112 --> 00:19:06,240
Yes, with my girl.
407
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,408
Either you've got it
or you haven't.
408
00:19:08,450 --> 00:19:11,411
Very good, Herr General.
409
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:14,248
I'm afraid I do not
appreciate that humor.
410
00:19:14,248 --> 00:19:16,083
Colonel, may I remind you
411
00:19:16,083 --> 00:19:18,460
that we are here
on official business?
412
00:19:18,502 --> 00:19:20,003
Official business, yes.
413
00:19:21,713 --> 00:19:23,715
Monkey business, no!
414
00:19:26,176 --> 00:19:30,514
Excuse me, do you happen
to know Lili Marlene?
415
00:19:30,556 --> 00:19:33,267
Is that made
with gin or whiskey?
416
00:19:33,267 --> 00:19:35,519
Thank you and good night.
417
00:19:38,146 --> 00:19:41,817
You seem to be very interested
in this Lili Marlene.
418
00:19:41,859 --> 00:19:43,694
I'm taking a survey.
419
00:19:45,237 --> 00:19:47,614
If he continues to dance,
he'll stay sober.
420
00:19:47,656 --> 00:19:50,075
Yes, you may be right.
421
00:19:50,117 --> 00:19:51,702
I'm going to cut in.
422
00:19:51,743 --> 00:19:54,121
And then perhaps
you can talk to him.
423
00:19:58,959 --> 00:20:01,962
May I?
Oh, by all means.
424
00:20:01,962 --> 00:20:04,298
Oh, I'm terribly
sorry, my dear.
425
00:20:04,339 --> 00:20:07,467
Well, it's her fault
for having a leg on that side.
426
00:20:10,971 --> 00:20:13,974
You and the colonel seem
to have something in common.
427
00:20:13,974 --> 00:20:15,225
You mean Gretchen?
428
00:20:15,267 --> 00:20:17,060
Good kid.
Good little dancer, too.
429
00:20:17,102 --> 00:20:18,896
Isn't there something more?
430
00:20:18,937 --> 00:20:21,481
Come on, General,
I just met the girl.
431
00:20:21,523 --> 00:20:24,526
No, no, I mean
you and Klink
432
00:20:24,568 --> 00:20:27,321
see things eye to eye
the German way.
433
00:20:27,362 --> 00:20:28,989
I try to be realistic.
434
00:20:28,989 --> 00:20:30,407
Excellent attitude.
435
00:20:30,449 --> 00:20:33,118
I take it you like to be
on the winning side.
436
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,828
General, what's on your mind?
437
00:20:34,870 --> 00:20:36,288
I mean, besides Elsa?
438
00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:40,542
Cards on the table, hmm?
All right.
439
00:20:40,584 --> 00:20:42,961
We're interested
in the Norden.
440
00:20:43,003 --> 00:20:45,923
Oh, that old thing?
Is that all?
441
00:20:45,964 --> 00:20:47,049
Excuse me.
442
00:20:47,090 --> 00:20:48,634
Gretchen wants
to be rescued.
443
00:20:52,846 --> 00:20:54,473
May I?
444
00:20:59,478 --> 00:21:01,063
Yes, Herr General?
445
00:21:01,104 --> 00:21:03,190
I think your Colonel Hogan
is ready to talk.
446
00:21:03,232 --> 00:21:05,192
Oh, that's wonderful, sir.
447
00:21:05,192 --> 00:21:08,779
Call the camp and tell Major
Klopfer to stand by. Yes, sir.
448
00:21:08,820 --> 00:21:10,739
Oh, Colonel,
how is it your girl
449
00:21:10,781 --> 00:21:13,700
has been dancing with
the American all evening?
450
00:21:13,742 --> 00:21:14,868
Oh, shut up.
451
00:21:19,206 --> 00:21:20,874
Honey, why don't you
go back to the table.
452
00:21:20,916 --> 00:21:22,084
I'll be with you
in a minute.
453
00:21:22,125 --> 00:21:23,252
Something is wrong?
454
00:21:23,293 --> 00:21:25,879
I want to say hello to
an old friend... I hope.
455
00:21:25,921 --> 00:21:29,341
Don't be long.
I will miss you.
456
00:21:34,555 --> 00:21:36,640
Uh, excuse me.
Yes, sir?
457
00:21:36,682 --> 00:21:38,767
Do you know Lili Marlene?
458
00:21:38,809 --> 00:21:41,186
Yes. Yes.
459
00:21:43,689 --> 00:21:46,775
This was made for you,
my dear.
460
00:21:46,817 --> 00:21:49,736
Do you know Lili Marlene? Yes.
461
00:21:49,736 --> 00:21:51,446
Yes, what?
462
00:21:51,488 --> 00:21:53,824
Yes, can you spare
a cigarette?
463
00:21:53,866 --> 00:21:57,870
Here. Keep the pack.
Yes, sir.
464
00:21:57,911 --> 00:22:00,998
Don't forget to
read it. Yes, sir.
465
00:22:01,039 --> 00:22:02,416
You're all right.
466
00:22:02,457 --> 00:22:05,085
I like a spy with
nerves of steel.
467
00:22:09,590 --> 00:22:13,260
Now, the main thing about
the Norden is its compactness.
468
00:22:13,302 --> 00:22:14,970
Practical, you mean,
huh? Extremely.
469
00:22:15,012 --> 00:22:17,931
Go on.
470
00:22:17,931 --> 00:22:21,727
You'll notice
the handle is curved...
471
00:22:24,021 --> 00:22:26,440
for easier control.
472
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,775
The start button
located right there.
473
00:22:28,817 --> 00:22:32,279
Now, what is
the power source?
474
00:22:32,279 --> 00:22:35,449
Electrical. It derives from
a lightweight, compact motor
475
00:22:35,491 --> 00:22:40,120
located right about... here.
476
00:22:40,162 --> 00:22:43,290
Am I to understand that a
Norden is completely portable?
477
00:22:43,290 --> 00:22:44,750
It weighs only
about seven pounds.
478
00:22:44,791 --> 00:22:46,877
Seven pounds?
Amazing.
479
00:22:46,919 --> 00:22:49,588
That's amazing!
480
00:22:49,630 --> 00:22:53,509
Now, about the
aiming mechanism.
481
00:22:53,550 --> 00:22:54,885
Aiming mechanism?
Doesn't have one.
482
00:22:54,927 --> 00:22:58,430
It must utilize an entirely
revolutionary principle.
483
00:22:58,472 --> 00:23:01,141
There's nothing
revolutionary about it.
484
00:23:01,141 --> 00:23:05,646
Here... let me show you
one of the other major parts.
485
00:23:05,646 --> 00:23:08,232
This, gentlemen...
486
00:23:08,273 --> 00:23:09,650
is the dust bag.
487
00:23:09,650 --> 00:23:11,276
It's located
right under the handle.
488
00:23:11,318 --> 00:23:13,153
Dust bag?
489
00:23:13,153 --> 00:23:15,447
Great suction, too... pull the
teeth right out of your mouth.
490
00:23:16,990 --> 00:23:18,909
General!
491
00:23:18,951 --> 00:23:22,371
This man is describing
a vacuum cleaner,
492
00:23:22,412 --> 00:23:24,248
not a bomb sight.
493
00:23:24,289 --> 00:23:25,707
What?!
494
00:23:25,749 --> 00:23:27,125
A vacuum cleaner?
495
00:23:27,167 --> 00:23:30,170
Norden makes one of the greatest
vacuum cleaners in the world.
496
00:23:30,212 --> 00:23:32,339
Congratulations, Klink,
you've done it again!
497
00:23:35,968 --> 00:23:38,220
But you said that
you tested the Norden.
498
00:23:38,262 --> 00:23:41,056
I had one in my room
at the base where I trained.
499
00:23:41,098 --> 00:23:42,838
We wined you and
dined you, and now
500
00:23:42,850 --> 00:23:44,601
you're describing
a vacuum cleaner!
501
00:23:44,643 --> 00:23:46,478
You asked me, remember?
502
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,022
You're going to get me
into a lot of trouble for this.
503
00:23:49,064 --> 00:23:50,616
Besides that, you still owe me
504
00:23:50,628 --> 00:23:52,401
500 marks for the
champagne alone!
505
00:23:52,442 --> 00:23:54,278
Forget it.
Forget it, he says.
506
00:23:54,319 --> 00:23:56,361
Of course, what good is money
507
00:23:56,373 --> 00:23:58,782
gonna do you at
the Russian front?
508
00:24:02,369 --> 00:24:06,415
Raus, raus, raus,
heraus, heraus, heraus.
509
00:24:06,498 --> 00:24:08,500
All done,
Herr Kommandant.
510
00:24:08,542 --> 00:24:10,043
Very good, Schultz.
511
00:24:10,043 --> 00:24:13,046
Now, Hogan, General
Burkhalter was kind enough
512
00:24:13,046 --> 00:24:14,590
to forget the
whole matter,
513
00:24:14,631 --> 00:24:16,341
but I am going
to teach you...
514
00:24:16,383 --> 00:24:18,844
Just one minute, Kommandant.
515
00:24:19,011 --> 00:24:22,931
One more... thing.
516
00:24:22,973 --> 00:24:26,268
This... and these.
517
00:24:26,310 --> 00:24:27,895
You better take them along.
518
00:24:27,936 --> 00:24:29,813
I wouldn't want
to hurt your feelings.
519
00:24:29,855 --> 00:24:31,231
Hurt my feelings?
520
00:24:31,231 --> 00:24:34,026
I may talk about Gretchen
in my sleep.
37564
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