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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 2 00:00:30,355 --> 00:00:35,355 Subtitles by explosiveskull 3 00:00:35,954 --> 00:00:36,721 (indistinct conversations) 4 00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:40,288 (The "Oogum Boogum" song playing) 5 00:00:45,961 --> 00:00:46,860 SIMON: I'm just like you. 6 00:00:47,330 --> 00:00:49,297 For the most part, my life is totally normal. 7 00:00:49,365 --> 00:00:51,201 - Happy birthday. - No! 8 00:00:51,401 --> 00:00:53,467 SIMON: My dad was the annoyingly handsome quarterback 9 00:00:53,535 --> 00:00:55,669 who married the hot valedictorian. 10 00:00:56,540 --> 00:00:58,373 And, no, they didn't peak in high school. 11 00:00:58,674 --> 00:01:00,042 - (car door closes) - (horn honks) 12 00:01:00,308 --> 00:01:01,507 I have a sister I actually like. 13 00:01:01,608 --> 00:01:02,908 Not that I'd ever tell her that. 14 00:01:03,179 --> 00:01:04,079 And last year, 15 00:01:04,313 --> 00:01:05,481 and 200 episodes of Chopped ago... 16 00:01:05,548 --> 00:01:07,249 she decided she wanted to be a chef. 17 00:01:07,481 --> 00:01:09,983 Which means we're pretty much all her test subjects now. 18 00:01:10,052 --> 00:01:10,953 ♪ Cute mini skirt ♪ 19 00:01:11,153 --> 00:01:13,553 ♪ With your brother's sloppy shirt ♪ 20 00:01:14,322 --> 00:01:17,024 ♪ I admit it girl, That I can dig it ♪ 21 00:01:17,093 --> 00:01:18,325 EMILY: Is it spicy, Jack? 22 00:01:18,493 --> 00:01:21,261 - (spits) - Oh! Gracious. Oh, my gosh. 23 00:01:21,663 --> 00:01:22,862 SIMON: And then there's my friends. 24 00:01:25,067 --> 00:01:25,968 Two of them, I've known 25 00:01:26,234 --> 00:01:27,967 since pretty much the beginning of time. 26 00:01:28,269 --> 00:01:30,170 - Or at least kindergarten. - No. No. 27 00:01:30,406 --> 00:01:31,840 - LEAH: Oh! Sorry! - Okay. How 'bout that? 28 00:01:31,974 --> 00:01:33,340 (crowd cheering) 29 00:01:33,741 --> 00:01:35,776 One of them, I just met a few months ago, 30 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:37,678 but it feels like I've known her forever. 31 00:01:37,978 --> 00:01:39,079 We do everything friends do. 32 00:01:39,181 --> 00:01:40,816 We drink way too much iced coffee, 33 00:01:40,882 --> 00:01:43,316 watch bad '90s movies and hang out at Waffle House 34 00:01:43,385 --> 00:01:45,753 dreaming of college and gorging on carbs. 35 00:01:46,188 --> 00:01:47,520 (cheering continues) 36 00:01:47,589 --> 00:01:51,092 ♪ You got me doin' funny things Like a clown ♪ 37 00:01:51,926 --> 00:01:53,061 ♪ Just look at me ♪ 38 00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:58,699 ♪ When you wear Your bell-bottom pants... ♪ 39 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,601 SIMON: So, like I said. 40 00:02:01,405 --> 00:02:02,437 I'm just like you. 41 00:02:02,672 --> 00:02:05,074 I have a totally, perfectly normal life. 42 00:02:07,843 --> 00:02:10,079 Except I have one huge-ass secret. 43 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,882 ♪ Now go on With your bad self ♪ 44 00:02:21,691 --> 00:02:26,359 ♪ Ooh, ooh, now mercy, Mercy on me ♪ 45 00:02:26,428 --> 00:02:28,528 - (knocking on door) - Hey! Morning! Oh! 46 00:02:29,231 --> 00:02:30,431 - Hey! - Sorry. 47 00:02:30,499 --> 00:02:31,966 I didn't realize you were masturbating. 48 00:02:32,035 --> 00:02:32,933 Yeah, very funny. 49 00:02:33,234 --> 00:02:34,267 Your sister's downstairs making some 50 00:02:34,438 --> 00:02:36,405 la-di-da pancake thing she saw on Top Chef, 51 00:02:36,472 --> 00:02:38,171 so we should probably go eat that. 52 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:39,606 Great. I'll be down in just a second. 53 00:02:39,806 --> 00:02:42,940 Okay. Right after you finish searching the internet for... 54 00:02:43,311 --> 00:02:45,412 lingerie photos of Gigi Habib? 55 00:02:45,613 --> 00:02:48,080 (scoffs) It's Hadid. 56 00:02:48,449 --> 00:02:50,583 Right. I didn't realize she was your girlfriend. 57 00:02:50,652 --> 00:02:51,953 All right, finish up here. 58 00:02:53,254 --> 00:02:54,155 You got me. 59 00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:03,064 (indistinct chatter) 60 00:03:03,799 --> 00:03:05,799 - Morning, guys. - Simon, have a seat, honey. 61 00:03:05,867 --> 00:03:07,201 - Morning, Simon. - You gotta eat your breakfast. 62 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:08,170 Please don't tell me 63 00:03:08,604 --> 00:03:09,804 that breakfast is the most important meal of the day 64 00:03:09,938 --> 00:03:11,939 because that is just so cliché. You're better than that. 65 00:03:12,206 --> 00:03:14,272 I was gonna say breakfast lowers LDL cholesterol 66 00:03:14,342 --> 00:03:16,178 and prevents fluctuating glucose levels 67 00:03:16,245 --> 00:03:17,878 - that lead to type two diabetes. - Oh! 68 00:03:18,646 --> 00:03:19,546 Touché. 69 00:03:20,115 --> 00:03:22,250 Nora. These are incredible. 70 00:03:22,350 --> 00:03:24,418 Cornmeal pancakes with blackberry compote. 71 00:03:25,319 --> 00:03:26,487 But they're not crumbly enough. 72 00:03:26,589 --> 00:03:28,655 Stop it. They're perfect. 73 00:03:28,857 --> 00:03:29,890 (Nora sighs) 74 00:03:29,957 --> 00:03:30,925 Eat up, Bieber. 75 00:03:32,527 --> 00:03:33,627 - See you, guys. - JACK: See you, Simon. 76 00:03:33,795 --> 00:03:35,897 EMILY: Hey, honey. Be back by seven! It's TV night. 77 00:03:44,205 --> 00:03:45,940 (leaf blower whirs) 78 00:03:48,910 --> 00:03:49,811 Hey! 79 00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:51,110 Morning! 80 00:03:51,513 --> 00:03:53,580 It's Simon! I live right here! 81 00:03:55,216 --> 00:03:56,684 I like your boots! 82 00:04:00,088 --> 00:04:00,988 Okay, bye! 83 00:04:06,361 --> 00:04:07,994 - (sighs) - (horn honks) 84 00:04:09,364 --> 00:04:10,598 God damn. 85 00:04:15,804 --> 00:04:17,170 ("Rollercoaster" playing) 86 00:04:23,578 --> 00:04:25,980 ♪ It was summer When I saw your face ♪ 87 00:04:26,549 --> 00:04:28,882 ♪ Looked like a teenage Runaway... ♪ 88 00:04:30,017 --> 00:04:31,150 - Yo! - Yo! 89 00:04:31,353 --> 00:04:32,987 Had the craziest dream last night. 90 00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:35,088 Hey, Nick, you have the craziest dream every night. 91 00:04:35,189 --> 00:04:36,689 NICK: You don't understand. I'm in this cave, right? 92 00:04:36,759 --> 00:04:37,825 Or maybe it's in outer space. 93 00:04:38,094 --> 00:04:39,661 David Beckham is there with these two contact lenses 94 00:04:39,729 --> 00:04:42,295 and then like, blue one or red one, like he's a sexy 95 00:04:42,430 --> 00:04:43,596 Morpheus from Matrix. 96 00:04:43,697 --> 00:04:44,898 And I don't know which one to pick. 97 00:04:44,966 --> 00:04:46,601 I don't know what to do with these things. 98 00:04:46,836 --> 00:04:49,270 Oh, my God. Have you guys seen Creek Secrets today? 99 00:04:49,371 --> 00:04:51,572 First of all, you are obsessed with that blog, so... 100 00:04:51,641 --> 00:04:53,307 LEAH: Okay, but apparently, Becca Peterson 101 00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:55,009 got caught giving Ryan O'Donovan, 102 00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:56,010 an HJ in the pool. 103 00:04:56,079 --> 00:04:57,778 That's the real reason they drained it. 104 00:04:57,847 --> 00:04:59,314 Man, our janitor needs a raise. 105 00:04:59,381 --> 00:05:00,281 LEAH: Oh, my God. 106 00:05:00,415 --> 00:05:01,716 - And an HPV vaccine. - (Nick laughs) 107 00:05:02,549 --> 00:05:03,650 NICK: Leah, I have this dream, right? 108 00:05:03,784 --> 00:05:05,253 LEAH: Nick, we have a rule, remember? 109 00:05:05,322 --> 00:05:07,056 No analyzing dreams before coffee. 110 00:05:08,322 --> 00:05:10,056 (indistinct chatter) 111 00:05:10,992 --> 00:05:12,093 Hi, could we get four iced coffees, please? 112 00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:14,294 Oh, could you get Abby's with milk? She likes milk. 113 00:05:14,696 --> 00:05:16,662 - One with milk. - What are you, her barista? 114 00:05:17,197 --> 00:05:20,166 (chuckles) It's not hard to remember "with milk." 115 00:05:24,605 --> 00:05:25,706 SIMON: Thank you. 116 00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:27,307 ♪ Hey I'm never the same ♪ 117 00:05:27,507 --> 00:05:31,245 ♪ It's a hundred miles an hour On a dirt road running away ♪ 118 00:05:33,215 --> 00:05:34,282 ABBY: Hey! 119 00:05:37,186 --> 00:05:38,219 - Hey. - Hey. 120 00:05:38,285 --> 00:05:41,155 (gasps) Oh, thank you. I am figuratively dying. 121 00:05:41,224 --> 00:05:42,956 So, Abby, last night I dreamt 122 00:05:43,089 --> 00:05:44,656 I put the wrong contacts in my eyes. 123 00:05:44,726 --> 00:05:46,793 - Another dream. You're like... - SIMON: Hmm. 124 00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:48,061 You're like the love child of 125 00:05:48,129 --> 00:05:50,530 Sigmund Freud and Cristiano Ronaldo. 126 00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,233 - Oh, my God. - Thanks. 127 00:05:52,466 --> 00:05:53,866 Now, look. I can't see anything 128 00:05:53,935 --> 00:05:55,536 and I'm stumbling around in this cave, 129 00:05:55,603 --> 00:05:58,037 crashing into stuff, and then, I wake up. 130 00:05:58,406 --> 00:06:00,074 - That's it? - NICK: Yeah. 131 00:06:00,675 --> 00:06:02,341 Maybe it's something that you're not seeing clearly. 132 00:06:02,409 --> 00:06:04,644 Like something that's, like, right in front of your face. 133 00:06:05,181 --> 00:06:06,315 What am I not seeing? 134 00:06:07,281 --> 00:06:08,882 (exhales) No idea. 135 00:06:10,086 --> 00:06:12,253 ("Love me" playing) 136 00:06:14,455 --> 00:06:15,989 Ooh! Ooh! 137 00:06:22,162 --> 00:06:23,929 (indistinct chatter) 138 00:06:31,942 --> 00:06:35,510 ♪ Hey, would you like to ♪ 139 00:06:35,576 --> 00:06:39,479 ♪ Look outside sometimes? No ♪ 140 00:06:39,547 --> 00:06:43,416 ♪ I'm just With my friends online ♪ 141 00:06:43,485 --> 00:06:46,654 ♪ And there's things We'd like to change... ♪ 142 00:06:46,921 --> 00:06:49,020 We should be hot Pokémon for Halloween. 143 00:06:49,090 --> 00:06:49,823 Oh, yeah. 144 00:06:49,893 --> 00:06:51,260 But I get to be slutty Charmander. 145 00:06:51,359 --> 00:06:52,525 Cool scarf, Ethan. 146 00:06:52,726 --> 00:06:54,193 Hope it doesn't get caught in your vagina. 147 00:06:54,329 --> 00:06:56,329 Great choice on the cargo pants, by the way. 148 00:06:56,399 --> 00:06:59,100 It looks like you got gangbanged by a T.J. Maxx. 149 00:06:59,302 --> 00:07:00,636 Whatever, fag. (laughs) 150 00:07:02,238 --> 00:07:05,373 ETHAN: Honestly, it's just not even a challenge anymore. 151 00:07:05,674 --> 00:07:06,606 LEAH: Dicks. 152 00:07:06,907 --> 00:07:08,608 Wish Ethan wouldn't make it so easy for them. 153 00:07:08,911 --> 00:07:09,911 Yeah, well, at my old school, 154 00:07:10,178 --> 00:07:11,478 that would have been settled with a knife fight. 155 00:07:11,879 --> 00:07:15,648 - (bell rings) - Good morning, Creekwood High! 156 00:07:15,717 --> 00:07:17,051 Come on, phones off! 157 00:07:17,118 --> 00:07:18,618 There's a whole world to look at! 158 00:07:18,952 --> 00:07:20,687 You can look people in the eyes! 159 00:07:20,822 --> 00:07:22,956 (groans) Gah! Yeah. 160 00:07:23,158 --> 00:07:24,624 Stop with the selfies. You're not all that. 161 00:07:24,725 --> 00:07:26,160 - I'll see you guys at lunch. - Yeah. 162 00:07:26,795 --> 00:07:28,795 Wow! Simonay. 163 00:07:28,931 --> 00:07:30,365 Look at those new kicks, my brother. 164 00:07:30,431 --> 00:07:32,365 Where'd you get those? Where could I get a pair of those? 165 00:07:32,732 --> 00:07:33,932 - I forget. Sorry. - You forget? 166 00:07:33,999 --> 00:07:35,500 Come on, you gotta let me know the brand! 167 00:07:35,571 --> 00:07:36,838 I want to be sneaker brothers. 168 00:07:36,971 --> 00:07:40,906 Oh, I see more phones! Who took your phones now? 169 00:07:40,974 --> 00:07:45,676 Me! Me! Me took your phones now! You can get 'em at my office! 170 00:07:46,113 --> 00:07:48,646 I can't believe we have to be off book, in like, two weeks. 171 00:07:48,816 --> 00:07:50,818 Seriously, Sally Bowles never shuts the eff up. 172 00:07:51,119 --> 00:07:52,652 SIMON: Don't you wish you were talentless like me? 173 00:07:52,721 --> 00:07:53,820 Here. Let me show you a thing or two. 174 00:07:54,156 --> 00:07:55,555 SIMON: Because then you could just be living the easy life 175 00:07:55,623 --> 00:07:56,724 as company member number eight. 176 00:07:56,825 --> 00:07:57,925 (Abby laughs) 177 00:07:58,225 --> 00:07:59,893 Well, well, well... 178 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,460 If it isn't my fellow thespians. 179 00:08:03,498 --> 00:08:04,398 Hey, Martin. 180 00:08:04,599 --> 00:08:06,866 Hey, Spier. Hey, Abby. 181 00:08:07,235 --> 00:08:07,935 Hi. 182 00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:10,105 Excited to rehearse with you later. 183 00:08:11,439 --> 00:08:12,306 Hey, uh, so, fun fact. 184 00:08:12,607 --> 00:08:14,541 You know that Cabaret was actually based off a play 185 00:08:14,609 --> 00:08:15,811 called I Am Camera? 186 00:08:15,878 --> 00:08:17,577 Then I Am a Camera was based off 187 00:08:17,644 --> 00:08:19,812 this novel called Goodbye to Berlin. 188 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,180 And Goodbye to Berlin was actually based off 189 00:08:22,316 --> 00:08:23,484 Christopher Isherwood's 190 00:08:23,919 --> 00:08:25,652 - early years in Berlin. - (bell rings) 191 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,786 Wow. That's awesome. I have homeroom. 192 00:08:27,856 --> 00:08:28,756 Yeah. All right. 193 00:08:28,991 --> 00:08:30,457 Well, I think she found that interesting. 194 00:08:30,525 --> 00:08:31,424 Bye, Martin. 195 00:08:31,892 --> 00:08:33,492 Bye, big boy. (chuckles) 196 00:08:34,829 --> 00:08:37,030 Suraj! Now. 197 00:08:38,499 --> 00:08:40,000 Come on. You know the drill. 198 00:08:41,102 --> 00:08:43,603 EMILY: I've had an inspiration. How about The Affair? 199 00:08:44,105 --> 00:08:46,507 No. No. We cannot watch The Affair as a family. 200 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,976 - Why not? - Because it's all about sex. 201 00:08:49,211 --> 00:08:51,513 Oh, well, God forbid we should watch people make love. 202 00:08:51,579 --> 00:08:52,478 Oh, God. 203 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:54,948 Oh, my God. You guys are so repressed. 204 00:08:55,218 --> 00:08:58,184 Don't therapize us, okay? We are not your patients. 205 00:08:58,252 --> 00:08:59,453 - We're your family. - EMILY: That's true. 206 00:08:59,688 --> 00:09:01,855 If you were my patients, you'd be much more well-adjusted. 207 00:09:01,924 --> 00:09:04,191 - Oh. Nice therapy burn, baby. - Thank you. 208 00:09:04,592 --> 00:09:05,859 - She got you. - You know what? 209 00:09:05,994 --> 00:09:07,961 We didn't see last week's episode of The Bachelor. 210 00:09:08,196 --> 00:09:10,062 Yeah, how did that guy even become the bachelor? 211 00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:10,829 Why? 212 00:09:10,931 --> 00:09:12,531 Well, he's clearly gay. 213 00:09:12,867 --> 00:09:14,535 - NORA: No, he's not. - Really? 214 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:15,603 - He's handsome. - That date, 215 00:09:15,671 --> 00:09:16,571 where he took the girl to 216 00:09:16,705 --> 00:09:17,938 the "make your own perfume" place? 217 00:09:18,004 --> 00:09:19,837 Dad! The producers plan those dates. 218 00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,108 He is so fruity. He's so fruity. 219 00:09:21,177 --> 00:09:23,243 He's a one-man pride parade. Are you kidding me? 220 00:09:23,377 --> 00:09:24,910 - He has more chemistry - Just stop it. 221 00:09:24,978 --> 00:09:27,412 with Chris Harrison, than any of those girls. 222 00:09:28,949 --> 00:09:30,617 (whispers) After this, I gotta show you something. 223 00:09:31,052 --> 00:09:32,418 Okay? Let's watch The Americans. 224 00:09:32,486 --> 00:09:34,687 EMILY: Every single episode, you here next to me. 225 00:09:34,756 --> 00:09:36,156 So your mother decided that we should make 226 00:09:36,224 --> 00:09:37,590 each other anniversary presents this year. 227 00:09:37,657 --> 00:09:40,026 You know, so they came from the heart, or some crap. 228 00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:42,595 Anyway, I decided to come up with this bad boy. 229 00:09:42,696 --> 00:09:43,596 Look at this. 230 00:09:43,830 --> 00:09:46,498 I present to you, a Jack Spier production. 231 00:09:46,767 --> 00:09:48,001 - (mouse clicks) - ("Heaven" playing) 232 00:09:48,371 --> 00:09:51,239 ♪ I don't need to be the king Of the world ♪ 233 00:09:51,372 --> 00:09:52,271 Wait, wait. 234 00:09:53,208 --> 00:09:54,107 Look at that! 235 00:09:54,542 --> 00:09:55,976 Oh, it's so good. 236 00:09:56,043 --> 00:10:01,480 ♪ As long as I'm the hero Of this little girl ♪ 237 00:10:01,683 --> 00:10:03,149 Look at this. Wait, wait, wait. 238 00:10:04,117 --> 00:10:06,219 ♪ Heaven isn't too far away ♪ 239 00:10:06,290 --> 00:10:07,322 SIMON: Yup. Okay. 240 00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:08,421 (stops video) 241 00:10:08,823 --> 00:10:09,723 What are you... 242 00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:12,357 Look, this is your 20th anniversary, 243 00:10:12,427 --> 00:10:14,361 so I'm gonna be super real with you right now. 244 00:10:14,862 --> 00:10:16,397 This looks like a fourth grader made it. 245 00:10:16,530 --> 00:10:19,097 And not even the smartest fourth grader in the class. 246 00:10:19,235 --> 00:10:20,935 Just, like, a deeply average fourth grader. 247 00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:22,802 What are you talking about? This is amazing. 248 00:10:22,936 --> 00:10:24,970 I got fade-ins. I got dissolves. 249 00:10:25,075 --> 00:10:26,609 - This is beautiful. - Get up for a second. 250 00:10:26,675 --> 00:10:27,975 I'll help you. Trust me. 251 00:10:28,209 --> 00:10:30,210 We can make this good. We just gotta put in... 252 00:10:30,810 --> 00:10:32,410 you know, some home video. 253 00:10:32,982 --> 00:10:35,717 Maybe put in some better music. 254 00:10:35,949 --> 00:10:38,351 "Better music"? This was huge when we were young. 255 00:10:38,587 --> 00:10:40,621 Yeah. So was Bill Cosby. 256 00:10:40,721 --> 00:10:42,956 ("Waterloo Sunset" playing) 257 00:10:46,529 --> 00:10:50,965 (cell phone ringing) 258 00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:54,567 Hey. 259 00:10:54,634 --> 00:10:55,668 Have you seen the new post? 260 00:10:55,835 --> 00:10:57,268 No. What? Oh, my God. 261 00:10:57,370 --> 00:10:58,871 You know, I'm never getting back in that pool again. 262 00:10:58,973 --> 00:11:01,309 Wait, no. About the closeted gay kid at school. 263 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:05,579 What? 264 00:11:05,747 --> 00:11:07,012 LEAH: Yeah, it's on Creek Secrets. 265 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:10,749 ♪ People so busy Makes me feel dizzy ♪ 266 00:11:11,086 --> 00:11:13,921 ♪ Taxi light shines So bright... ♪ 267 00:11:16,924 --> 00:11:18,658 - Who do you think it is? - (exhales) 268 00:11:18,759 --> 00:11:19,927 I bet it's that sophomore 269 00:11:19,994 --> 00:11:21,562 with the rimless glasses. I get a vibe. 270 00:11:21,995 --> 00:11:22,961 - Actually. - Hmm. 271 00:11:23,062 --> 00:11:24,830 Maybe it's Parker O'Malley. 272 00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:26,866 I've heard he's, like, obsessed with Les Mis. 273 00:11:26,933 --> 00:11:28,434 Oh, gosh. Jeez. I gotta go. 274 00:11:28,502 --> 00:11:30,436 Bieber just took a dump on the floor. 275 00:11:30,572 --> 00:11:31,438 LEAH: Aw, Beebs. 276 00:11:31,539 --> 00:11:33,106 - Feed him some rice... - Can I call you back? 277 00:11:36,512 --> 00:11:39,413 SIMON: "Sometimes, I feel like I'm stuck on a Ferris wheel. 278 00:11:39,846 --> 00:11:41,180 One minute I'm on top of the world, 279 00:11:41,248 --> 00:11:42,714 and the next, I'm at rock bottom. 280 00:11:42,882 --> 00:11:45,118 Over and over, all day long. 281 00:11:45,186 --> 00:11:47,120 Because a lot of my life is great, 282 00:11:47,255 --> 00:11:48,689 but nobody knows I'm gay. 283 00:11:49,457 --> 00:11:50,357 Blue." 284 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:52,326 (exhales) 285 00:11:56,063 --> 00:12:00,266 ♪ As long as I gaze on Waterloo sunset ♪ 286 00:12:00,869 --> 00:12:02,703 ♪ I am in paradise ♪ 287 00:12:06,574 --> 00:12:11,543 ♪ Every day I look at the world From my window ♪ 288 00:12:15,381 --> 00:12:18,949 ♪ But chilly, chilly Is the evening time ♪ 289 00:12:19,354 --> 00:12:24,590 ♪ Waterloo sunset's fine Waterloo sunset's fine ♪ 290 00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:31,397 ♪ Terry meets Julie Waterloo Station ♪ 291 00:12:31,866 --> 00:12:34,434 ♪ Every Friday night ♪ 292 00:12:34,501 --> 00:12:35,435 (clears throat) 293 00:12:36,573 --> 00:12:40,575 ♪ But I am so lazy Don't want to wander... ♪ 294 00:12:41,041 --> 00:12:42,274 Blue. Okay. 295 00:12:43,745 --> 00:12:44,644 (exhales) 296 00:12:45,212 --> 00:12:51,615 ♪ But I don't feel afraid ♪ 297 00:12:52,853 --> 00:12:54,887 SIMON: Dear Blue, I'm just like you. 298 00:12:55,291 --> 00:12:56,957 For the most part, my life is totally normal. 299 00:12:57,025 --> 00:12:58,458 My dad was the annoyingly handsome quarterback 300 00:12:58,526 --> 00:12:59,659 who married the hot valedictorian. 301 00:12:59,727 --> 00:13:01,060 And no, they didn't peak in high school. 302 00:13:01,127 --> 00:13:02,227 I have a sister I actually like. 303 00:13:02,329 --> 00:13:03,329 Not that I'd ever tell her that. 304 00:13:03,399 --> 00:13:05,099 And then, there's my friends. 305 00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:07,333 We do everything friends do. We drink way too much... 306 00:13:07,399 --> 00:13:09,300 So, like I said, I'm just like you. 307 00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:11,970 I have a totally, perfectly normal life. 308 00:13:12,505 --> 00:13:14,507 Except I have one huge-ass secret. 309 00:13:20,479 --> 00:13:24,982 ♪ As long as they gaze on Waterloo sunset ♪ 310 00:13:25,285 --> 00:13:27,486 ♪ They are in paradise ♪ 311 00:13:39,633 --> 00:13:40,532 Jacques. 312 00:13:41,637 --> 00:13:46,372 ♪ Waterloo sunset's fine Waterloo sunset's fine ♪ 313 00:13:52,578 --> 00:13:54,346 (panting) 314 00:13:54,984 --> 00:13:56,551 Hey. Morning. 315 00:13:58,986 --> 00:14:00,086 (cell phone chimes) 316 00:14:10,297 --> 00:14:11,197 (sighs) 317 00:14:12,299 --> 00:14:13,198 Nothin'. 318 00:14:17,203 --> 00:14:19,037 TEACHER: Math is what we're talking about. 319 00:14:19,471 --> 00:14:21,638 Can anyone answer for me how we find the value 320 00:14:21,774 --> 00:14:25,913 of "d-y by d-x" that I have written up on the board? 321 00:14:26,614 --> 00:14:28,815 Does anyone want to... Yes! Simon. 322 00:14:29,751 --> 00:14:30,818 Can I go to the bathroom? 323 00:14:31,618 --> 00:14:32,885 Sure, it's fine. 324 00:14:32,953 --> 00:14:33,853 Thanks. 325 00:14:55,776 --> 00:14:56,742 (sighs) 326 00:14:58,545 --> 00:15:01,112 Simon. Simon. 327 00:15:01,282 --> 00:15:03,249 - Yeah. - Can I get some fries? 328 00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:04,550 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 329 00:15:06,054 --> 00:15:07,285 GARRETT: I'm telling you, the Oakwood Tigers 330 00:15:07,354 --> 00:15:09,288 score so many goals because they shave their legs. 331 00:15:09,423 --> 00:15:11,256 Garrett, I'm not gonna shave my legs. 332 00:15:11,424 --> 00:15:13,558 It makes their kicks more aerodynamic. 333 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,829 We can just do extra burpees, man. 334 00:15:15,897 --> 00:15:16,796 Whatever, Bram. 335 00:15:17,132 --> 00:15:20,501 Guys, I just found a press-on nail in my salad. 336 00:15:21,736 --> 00:15:22,636 BOTH: Debbie. 337 00:15:23,670 --> 00:15:24,737 (indistinct chatter) 338 00:15:27,674 --> 00:15:29,708 Why is there no cell reception at this school? 339 00:15:30,077 --> 00:15:31,311 I swear to God. 340 00:15:37,850 --> 00:15:39,884 - Simonay, Simonay. - Hey. 341 00:15:39,955 --> 00:15:42,122 What are you doing? You can't text in the halls. 342 00:15:42,189 --> 00:15:43,322 How many times have I told you that? 343 00:15:43,456 --> 00:15:44,523 I can't have all my students 344 00:15:44,592 --> 00:15:46,226 Tindering it up. That's my department. 345 00:15:46,294 --> 00:15:47,594 - Right. - (laughing) 346 00:15:47,661 --> 00:15:48,393 It actually is. 347 00:15:48,594 --> 00:15:50,629 I got a really hot date on Tinder tonight. 348 00:15:50,830 --> 00:15:52,095 She is cute! 349 00:15:52,601 --> 00:15:56,901 "Ew! Vice principals can't go on dates. That's gross." 350 00:15:56,903 --> 00:15:58,170 We're people too, Simon. 351 00:15:58,572 --> 00:16:00,340 We like to go out. We like to have a good time. 352 00:16:00,407 --> 00:16:02,274 We like to have sex. That's not a big deal, right? 353 00:16:02,341 --> 00:16:03,576 Yeah, no. No biggie at all. 354 00:16:03,643 --> 00:16:05,311 Actually. You know, I totally see you as a person. 355 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,546 - Thank you. I appreciate that. - Yeah. 356 00:16:06,613 --> 00:16:08,047 - Thank you very much. - You're welcome. 357 00:16:08,113 --> 00:16:09,314 - Seriously. - Yeah. Yeah. 358 00:16:09,382 --> 00:16:10,449 Could I just get my phone though? 359 00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:11,817 No. Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to keep it 360 00:16:11,886 --> 00:16:12,986 until after play practice. 361 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,421 But you will get your precious 362 00:16:14,588 --> 00:16:16,256 after play practice, okay? I promise. 363 00:16:16,523 --> 00:16:17,790 So how's play practice going? 364 00:16:17,957 --> 00:16:19,857 - SIMON: Great. Yeah, it's... - MR. WORTH: How's Ms. Albright? 365 00:16:19,995 --> 00:16:21,361 SIMON: She's good. 366 00:16:21,428 --> 00:16:23,529 MR. WORTH: She's good? She doesn't like men. 367 00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:27,599 ♪ Willkommen, bienvenue ♪ 368 00:16:27,768 --> 00:16:32,936 ♪ Welcome im cabaret ♪ 369 00:16:33,106 --> 00:16:34,007 (laughs) 370 00:16:34,174 --> 00:16:40,312 ♪ Au cabaret, to cabaret ♪ 371 00:16:48,456 --> 00:16:49,922 [claps] 372 00:16:50,658 --> 00:16:51,358 Okay. 373 00:16:51,858 --> 00:16:55,494 Those aren't actual claps. My hands are tired! (chuckles) 374 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:58,430 Okay! All right. 375 00:16:58,766 --> 00:16:59,766 That was... 376 00:17:00,968 --> 00:17:02,567 Cal, help me. That was... 377 00:17:02,769 --> 00:17:03,501 That was a start? 378 00:17:03,571 --> 00:17:06,005 That was a start! Is what it was. 379 00:17:06,207 --> 00:17:07,206 That was a start. 380 00:17:07,407 --> 00:17:09,942 You know, when Mr. Worth told me that no student, 381 00:17:10,244 --> 00:17:12,011 regardless of talent... (chuckles) 382 00:17:12,546 --> 00:17:15,180 ...was to be left out of my production, I had my doubts. 383 00:17:15,482 --> 00:17:17,316 Yes, I did. (chuckles) 384 00:17:18,051 --> 00:17:18,952 Yeah. 385 00:17:20,088 --> 00:17:22,253 That's it. That's my whole speech. 386 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,355 TAYLOR: Ms. Albright. 387 00:17:23,523 --> 00:17:26,225 Hi. That was the biggest train wreck 388 00:17:26,292 --> 00:17:27,358 our stage has ever seen. 389 00:17:27,426 --> 00:17:28,459 And Rob and Brianne 390 00:17:28,595 --> 00:17:30,162 were practically dry humping the whole song. 391 00:17:30,498 --> 00:17:31,765 MS. ALBRIGHT: Oh, I saw. 392 00:17:32,266 --> 00:17:35,235 Save the kissing for the cast party. All right? 393 00:17:35,535 --> 00:17:39,103 This is war. You're Nazis. Okay? More anger. 394 00:17:39,506 --> 00:17:42,808 Suraj, stop pretending that trumpet is your penis! 395 00:17:43,044 --> 00:17:44,344 - My boy. - (all laughing) 396 00:17:45,013 --> 00:17:46,013 It is a rental. 397 00:17:48,115 --> 00:17:50,083 I was an extra in The Lion King, 398 00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:51,517 and this is where I am. 399 00:17:53,953 --> 00:17:55,354 Hey. What time is it? 400 00:17:55,723 --> 00:17:58,291 Ten minutes since the last time you asked. Go. 401 00:17:58,892 --> 00:18:01,060 One! Two! Three! Four! 402 00:18:01,994 --> 00:18:03,362 ABBY: ♪ Welcome... ♪ 403 00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:04,797 MS. ALBRIGHT: I will kill you. 404 00:18:05,801 --> 00:18:07,701 Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy, yo! 405 00:18:07,934 --> 00:18:09,935 - Mr. Worth. - Hey, what's up, my brother? 406 00:18:10,003 --> 00:18:11,405 Hey, just here for my phone. 407 00:18:11,503 --> 00:18:13,539 Oh, of course you are. Of course you are. 408 00:18:13,673 --> 00:18:15,173 How'd you enjoy being unplugged? 409 00:18:15,309 --> 00:18:16,242 It was great. 410 00:18:16,544 --> 00:18:17,444 - Great, right? - Yeah. 411 00:18:17,612 --> 00:18:19,212 This isn't life, man. This is plugged. 412 00:18:19,379 --> 00:18:20,946 - This is unplugged. - Mm-hmm. 413 00:18:21,047 --> 00:18:23,013 Plugged. Unplugged. 414 00:18:23,718 --> 00:18:25,920 All right, Simon, I know that I'm hard on you. I really do. 415 00:18:26,086 --> 00:18:27,152 SIMON: Mm-hmm. 416 00:18:27,354 --> 00:18:29,688 But it's only 'cause I really see myself in you. 417 00:18:30,024 --> 00:18:32,690 Uh... You know, I don't know if I'd say that. 418 00:18:32,892 --> 00:18:34,928 No, I see it, it's obvious. It's obvious. 419 00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:36,361 I know there's a lot 420 00:18:36,429 --> 00:18:37,663 - going on there, man. - Yup. 421 00:18:37,797 --> 00:18:39,397 And I bet you got a lot of questions. 422 00:18:39,465 --> 00:18:40,900 Is there something you wanna say to me? 423 00:18:41,768 --> 00:18:42,468 No. 424 00:18:42,670 --> 00:18:44,071 You know my policy. What does it say? 425 00:18:44,772 --> 00:18:46,739 - "Open door. Open ears." - "Open door. Open ears." 426 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:48,907 There's nothing you want to say? 427 00:18:49,275 --> 00:18:50,677 - Nope. - You sure? 428 00:18:50,978 --> 00:18:51,677 - Yeah. - Okay. 429 00:18:51,878 --> 00:18:53,012 - It's a great sign though. - Thank you. 430 00:18:53,245 --> 00:18:54,378 Thank you. Now don't text and drive. 431 00:18:54,447 --> 00:18:55,614 That's how my cat got murdered. 432 00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:57,415 - Okay. - (laughs) 433 00:18:57,550 --> 00:19:00,019 I'm just kidding. I don't have cats. I got asthma. 434 00:19:15,202 --> 00:19:16,104 (sighs) 435 00:19:18,271 --> 00:19:19,237 BLUE: A secret, huh? 436 00:19:19,605 --> 00:19:21,207 Is it the same as my secret? 437 00:19:21,708 --> 00:19:23,677 If it is, when did you know? 438 00:19:23,878 --> 00:19:26,712 - Have you told anyone? Blue. - (horn honking) 439 00:19:28,949 --> 00:19:29,851 Okay. 440 00:19:42,695 --> 00:19:45,263 SIMON: No, Blue. I haven't told anyone. 441 00:19:45,832 --> 00:19:48,166 And, honestly, I can't even really explain why. 442 00:19:49,569 --> 00:19:51,904 Deep down, I know my family would be fine with it. 443 00:19:52,203 --> 00:19:54,004 Hey, what rhymes with "patriarchy"? 444 00:19:55,042 --> 00:19:56,475 That says "patriachy" though. 445 00:19:57,042 --> 00:19:58,042 Oh, shit. 446 00:19:59,112 --> 00:20:01,179 SIMON: My mom's about as liberal as they come. 447 00:20:01,547 --> 00:20:03,916 And my dad isn't exactly the macho type. 448 00:20:04,785 --> 00:20:06,052 I mean, Creekwood's resident 449 00:20:06,118 --> 00:20:08,219 out-gay kid seems to be doing just fine. 450 00:20:08,488 --> 00:20:10,122 When Ethan came out, no one even cared. 451 00:20:10,257 --> 00:20:12,891 Guys, I have something to tell you. 452 00:20:13,826 --> 00:20:14,527 I'm gay. 453 00:20:15,062 --> 00:20:18,864 Wow, really? That's really great, Ethan. 454 00:20:19,132 --> 00:20:20,498 Oh, my God. No way. 455 00:20:20,868 --> 00:20:23,569 Oh, my God, you are? I had no idea. 456 00:20:23,637 --> 00:20:25,405 What a complete surprise! 457 00:20:25,571 --> 00:20:26,936 Too much, Claire. 458 00:20:27,507 --> 00:20:29,275 SIMON: As for how I knew I was gay, 459 00:20:29,342 --> 00:20:30,811 it was a bunch of little things. 460 00:20:31,743 --> 00:20:33,279 Like this one recurring dream 461 00:20:33,346 --> 00:20:35,214 I kept having about Daniel Radcliffe. 462 00:20:40,922 --> 00:20:43,457 And then proceeded to have every night for a month. 463 00:20:50,029 --> 00:20:51,662 I was obsessed with Panic! at the Disco. 464 00:20:51,729 --> 00:20:54,331 I can't. He's so cute. He's so cute. 465 00:20:54,568 --> 00:20:55,536 (clears throat) 466 00:20:55,636 --> 00:20:57,170 Come on, he's like Jesus and chocolate. 467 00:20:58,103 --> 00:20:59,071 Just look at him. 468 00:20:59,239 --> 00:21:00,207 SIMON: Then I realized 469 00:21:00,308 --> 00:21:01,874 it really wasn't about the music. 470 00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:03,908 And then there was my first girlfriend. 471 00:21:03,977 --> 00:21:05,812 I think I'm falling in love with you. 472 00:21:06,479 --> 00:21:08,481 Wow. Thank you. Be right back. 473 00:21:12,118 --> 00:21:13,252 Wasn't my proudest moment. 474 00:21:21,494 --> 00:21:23,396 How 'bout you? How did you know? 475 00:21:23,663 --> 00:21:25,698 Warmly, Jacques. 476 00:21:30,503 --> 00:21:31,736 Fondly, Jacques. 477 00:21:37,342 --> 00:21:38,243 Jacques. 478 00:21:45,452 --> 00:21:46,551 (cell phone chimes) 479 00:21:51,189 --> 00:21:52,524 BLUE: Jacques, don't worry. 480 00:21:52,659 --> 00:21:54,560 If your proudest moment happened in middle school, 481 00:21:54,727 --> 00:21:56,095 that would be pretty sad. 482 00:21:56,661 --> 00:21:57,928 For me, I realized I liked guys 483 00:21:58,165 --> 00:21:58,865 watching Game of Thrones. 484 00:21:59,167 --> 00:22:00,501 My friends were all holding their breath 485 00:22:00,967 --> 00:22:03,200 waiting to see the Dragon Princess's boobs. 486 00:22:03,971 --> 00:22:06,005 I was crushing hard on Jon Snow. 487 00:22:06,573 --> 00:22:08,108 SIMON: Well, I've never told anyone 488 00:22:08,175 --> 00:22:11,010 about my Daniel Radcliffe phase so now we're even. 489 00:22:11,242 --> 00:22:12,543 And for the record, 490 00:22:12,611 --> 00:22:13,979 I think Jon Snow is an excellent choice 491 00:22:14,146 --> 00:22:14,945 for your sexual awakening. 492 00:22:15,147 --> 00:22:16,847 So I guess, if I want to find you at school 493 00:22:16,915 --> 00:22:19,117 I just have to look for the Game of Thrones fanatic. 494 00:22:31,097 --> 00:22:31,796 Wow. 495 00:22:32,198 --> 00:22:34,166 I was just listening to that M83 song "Reunion," 496 00:22:34,234 --> 00:22:35,468 and it made me think of you. 497 00:22:35,869 --> 00:22:37,770 BLUE: You'll probably think my music taste is lame. 498 00:22:38,305 --> 00:22:39,805 Kind of have the same taste as my Aunt Sally 499 00:22:39,872 --> 00:22:41,506 who loves show tunes. 500 00:22:41,741 --> 00:22:43,675 Obviously, some of the things I've told you about myself 501 00:22:43,811 --> 00:22:46,278 are things I've never talked about with anyone. 502 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,812 There's something about you that makes me want to open up. 503 00:22:49,081 --> 00:22:50,849 And that's slightly terrifying for me. 504 00:22:50,917 --> 00:22:51,916 SIMON: So I've been thinking, 505 00:22:52,051 --> 00:22:53,686 maybe I should be Jon Snow for Halloween. 506 00:22:53,919 --> 00:22:56,055 What about you? Who are you gonna be? 507 00:22:57,190 --> 00:22:59,358 BLUE: I'm not dressing up. For me, 508 00:22:59,592 --> 00:23:00,692 Halloween's all about the Oreos 509 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,328 with the orange frosting in the middle. 510 00:23:04,263 --> 00:23:05,831 - Hey, hey, hey! - Hey. 511 00:23:05,899 --> 00:23:08,398 Wow. Look at that smile. You're glowing, man. 512 00:23:08,467 --> 00:23:09,367 No. 513 00:23:09,435 --> 00:23:10,435 You are glowing. You look happy. 514 00:23:10,503 --> 00:23:11,502 Oh, just regular. 515 00:23:11,572 --> 00:23:12,738 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 516 00:23:12,806 --> 00:23:15,040 Me too. I'm a little meh. 517 00:23:16,142 --> 00:23:17,040 Why "meh"? 518 00:23:17,277 --> 00:23:20,713 Oh, I had my big Tinder date last night. Oh, God. 519 00:23:20,847 --> 00:23:22,981 She was not into it. (chuckles) 520 00:23:23,481 --> 00:23:24,749 At. All. 521 00:23:25,218 --> 00:23:26,317 (bell ringing) 522 00:23:26,387 --> 00:23:28,020 - Oh, come on. Too soon. - No. 523 00:23:28,219 --> 00:23:29,420 The bell is a buzzkill. 524 00:23:29,489 --> 00:23:30,957 - See you, Mr. Worth. - All right. 525 00:23:32,458 --> 00:23:33,357 (Simon sighs) 526 00:23:33,591 --> 00:23:34,959 Well, thank you for your help, Fräulein. 527 00:23:35,029 --> 00:23:35,728 You're welcome. 528 00:23:36,227 --> 00:23:39,697 German accent for Cabaret. Yup. Take care, Ms. Bradley. 529 00:23:41,067 --> 00:23:41,966 Ladies. 530 00:23:43,471 --> 00:23:46,204 Let's see what you got, interwebs. 531 00:23:52,613 --> 00:23:53,779 LEAH: Here are your burnt tots, 532 00:23:53,847 --> 00:23:55,781 because you have horrible taste. 533 00:23:56,683 --> 00:23:57,682 SIMON: Here's your green banana, 534 00:23:57,750 --> 00:23:59,184 because you like disgusting things. 535 00:23:59,719 --> 00:24:00,619 Wow, you guys are weird. 536 00:24:00,886 --> 00:24:03,386 Yup. They're practically Cantonese twins. 537 00:24:03,722 --> 00:24:05,658 - Siamese. - Yeah. Siamese. 538 00:24:06,292 --> 00:24:07,025 Yeah, agree to disagree. 539 00:24:07,226 --> 00:24:08,560 I don't think that's one of those things 540 00:24:08,628 --> 00:24:09,627 where you can agree to disagree. 541 00:24:09,696 --> 00:24:10,597 - ...disagree. - It's just right. 542 00:24:10,664 --> 00:24:11,864 NICK: To each his own. 543 00:24:13,298 --> 00:24:14,198 BRAM: Oreos. 544 00:24:15,401 --> 00:24:16,400 Man, I love those. 545 00:24:16,901 --> 00:24:18,202 Halloween ones are the best, right? 546 00:24:18,270 --> 00:24:19,171 Yeah. 547 00:24:20,572 --> 00:24:21,907 Er, so, guys, I have great news. 548 00:24:21,974 --> 00:24:23,742 My aunt's boyfriend just took off 549 00:24:23,811 --> 00:24:25,511 with her car and all her jewelry. 550 00:24:25,578 --> 00:24:27,179 Bram, that's terrible news! 551 00:24:27,244 --> 00:24:27,945 I know, but it's like, 552 00:24:28,115 --> 00:24:29,048 the third time it's happened to her. 553 00:24:29,116 --> 00:24:30,816 She has really bad taste in men. 554 00:24:31,383 --> 00:24:34,886 Anyways, my mom is going down to Orlando to deal with it 555 00:24:34,954 --> 00:24:38,022 which means I get to throw a Halloween party. 556 00:24:38,626 --> 00:24:39,992 - Awesome! - Yay! 557 00:24:40,059 --> 00:24:40,759 Nice! 558 00:24:40,927 --> 00:24:42,693 Thank you, Bram's dumb-ass aunt! 559 00:24:42,828 --> 00:24:44,430 All right, this is gonna be epic, you guys. 560 00:24:44,529 --> 00:24:45,930 I can bring my karaoke machine. 561 00:24:46,065 --> 00:24:47,932 All right, hey, guys, Halloween party Friday night! 562 00:24:48,535 --> 00:24:50,036 Friday night, Halloween party, okay? Bram's house! 563 00:24:50,103 --> 00:24:51,769 You really set this in motion, man. 564 00:24:51,837 --> 00:24:52,736 I know, right? 565 00:24:52,805 --> 00:24:53,805 - Hey, little guy. - Me? 566 00:24:54,140 --> 00:24:56,607 Halloween party. Friday night. Bram's house. Be there. 567 00:24:56,943 --> 00:24:58,076 You're gonna freak him out, man. 568 00:24:58,143 --> 00:24:58,843 GARRETT: Yeah. 569 00:24:59,112 --> 00:25:00,211 LEAH: I know. He's, like, nine years old. 570 00:25:08,219 --> 00:25:10,654 BLUE: Very relieved that we're in agreement on Oreos. 571 00:25:10,724 --> 00:25:12,824 That would have been a deal-breaker for me. 572 00:25:13,259 --> 00:25:17,295 On a totally different, non-cookie related note... 573 00:25:17,830 --> 00:25:20,263 is it weird that I have no idea what you look like, 574 00:25:20,332 --> 00:25:23,502 but I can't stop thinking about kissing you. 575 00:25:25,271 --> 00:25:27,438 TEACHER: Simon. Simon. 576 00:25:28,774 --> 00:25:30,008 Eyes on your own test. 577 00:25:39,618 --> 00:25:41,351 Don't stop on my account, Rob and Brianne. 578 00:25:41,421 --> 00:25:43,355 That's the most action I've seen in weeks. 579 00:25:43,422 --> 00:25:45,524 What do we got here? Ah! 580 00:25:45,591 --> 00:25:46,723 When we're done, it's gonna look 581 00:25:46,891 --> 00:25:49,761 like a real German sex club. Don't ask me how I know. 582 00:25:51,096 --> 00:25:54,198 Hey! Hey! The spray paint is for painting, 583 00:25:54,267 --> 00:25:55,200 not for huffing. 584 00:25:55,701 --> 00:25:56,900 You don't want to get good at that. 585 00:25:57,402 --> 00:25:58,970 Okay, do you guys think I should dye my hair grey 586 00:25:59,037 --> 00:26:00,504 - to play Fräulein Schneider? - Sure. 587 00:26:01,174 --> 00:26:02,675 TAYLOR: Really? But my hair is kind of like my thing. 588 00:26:02,741 --> 00:26:03,975 I'm gonna go get a soda. 589 00:26:04,542 --> 00:26:05,511 Do you want anything? 590 00:26:05,744 --> 00:26:06,642 No. 591 00:26:06,712 --> 00:26:08,079 MS. ALBRIGHT: You disgust me. 592 00:26:16,588 --> 00:26:18,822 Simon! Hey, hey, hey. 593 00:26:18,892 --> 00:26:20,159 - Hey, Martin. - Buddy. 594 00:26:20,626 --> 00:26:24,028 Hey, um, I used the computer in the library right after you. 595 00:26:24,896 --> 00:26:25,864 - Okay. - Mm-hmm. 596 00:26:26,231 --> 00:26:29,634 Well, I went to Gmail, and it pulled up your account. 597 00:26:29,969 --> 00:26:31,802 And I, uh, read some of your emails. 598 00:26:31,902 --> 00:26:33,036 I know I probably shouldn't've, 599 00:26:33,106 --> 00:26:34,873 but they were, like, right there. (chuckles) 600 00:26:35,142 --> 00:26:37,242 So you'll be interested to know my brother's gay. 601 00:26:40,946 --> 00:26:43,880 No. Martin, that wouldn't interest me to know. 602 00:26:44,315 --> 00:26:46,149 Okay. Don't worry. I won't show anyone. 603 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:48,555 Show anyone what? 604 00:26:51,156 --> 00:26:52,691 Did you print my emails or something? 605 00:26:52,824 --> 00:26:54,892 Oh, no, no. (chuckles) 606 00:26:55,427 --> 00:26:56,860 I screenshot them. 607 00:26:56,961 --> 00:26:59,128 - You screenshotted my emails? - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 608 00:26:59,197 --> 00:27:00,431 Let me talk to you for a second. 609 00:27:01,901 --> 00:27:03,735 - Oh, Ms. Bradley. - MS. BRADLEY: Hello, Martin. 610 00:27:03,802 --> 00:27:05,469 - Did you feather your hair? - No. 611 00:27:06,338 --> 00:27:07,239 MARTIN: Looking good. 612 00:27:08,442 --> 00:27:09,409 This is a good section. 613 00:27:10,777 --> 00:27:11,674 MARTIN: Jeez. 614 00:27:12,278 --> 00:27:14,278 Now, why the hell did you screenshot my emails? 615 00:27:14,681 --> 00:27:17,748 Ah, well, you and Abby Susso are good friends. Right? 616 00:27:17,817 --> 00:27:18,817 Yeah. We know each other. 617 00:27:18,951 --> 00:27:19,884 What does that have to do with anything? 618 00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:22,853 Well, I need you to help me talk with her... 619 00:27:23,288 --> 00:27:25,289 and hang out with her and stuff, you know? 620 00:27:25,525 --> 00:27:27,024 Why would I help you do that? 621 00:27:28,861 --> 00:27:29,994 Are you blackmailing me? 622 00:27:30,062 --> 00:27:32,896 Oh, shh! Okay. Don't be so dramatic here, Simon. 623 00:27:32,966 --> 00:27:33,933 SIMON: Sup, Tyler? 624 00:27:34,199 --> 00:27:36,167 MARTIN: What's up, Tyler? Is that a Patagonia? 625 00:27:36,836 --> 00:27:39,371 Nice. I just like her. 626 00:27:39,673 --> 00:27:42,474 And I think that you could help me. 627 00:27:42,941 --> 00:27:44,775 Yeah, what if I say no, Martin? 628 00:27:44,845 --> 00:27:45,812 I mean, what are you gonna do? 629 00:27:46,012 --> 00:27:47,146 You gonna tell the whole school that I'm... 630 00:27:47,913 --> 00:27:49,047 You're gonna leak my emails? 631 00:27:49,115 --> 00:27:50,815 You're gonna post 'em on CreekSecrets? 632 00:27:50,883 --> 00:27:52,784 I just think that we're in a position here, 633 00:27:53,420 --> 00:27:55,154 where we could help each other out is all. 634 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:57,254 So think about it. 635 00:27:58,290 --> 00:27:59,191 Good talk. 636 00:28:06,865 --> 00:28:08,900 You know, I never thought of a pepper 637 00:28:08,968 --> 00:28:10,067 - as being a vegetable... - (cell phone chimes) 638 00:28:10,135 --> 00:28:11,102 ...but it makes perfect sense. 639 00:28:11,536 --> 00:28:14,706 EMILY: I like the cilantro. A little Mexican flair, huh? 640 00:28:14,939 --> 00:28:16,238 JACK: Very creative, kiddo. 641 00:28:16,742 --> 00:28:18,744 You hate the peppers. Don't you? 642 00:28:19,245 --> 00:28:21,312 No. The peppers are great. 643 00:28:22,715 --> 00:28:24,015 I'm just gonna get some air. 644 00:28:34,827 --> 00:28:37,627 BRAM: Jacques, I have to get something off my chest. 645 00:28:37,963 --> 00:28:39,097 The other day, you asked me 646 00:28:39,165 --> 00:28:40,332 what I was wearing for Halloween 647 00:28:40,399 --> 00:28:42,967 and I said I wasn't dressing up. 648 00:28:43,568 --> 00:28:44,935 I lied. Truth is, 649 00:28:45,004 --> 00:28:46,538 I didn't want you to know what I was wearing 650 00:28:46,605 --> 00:28:49,106 because I don't want you to know who I am. 651 00:28:50,843 --> 00:28:51,776 Right now, these emails, 652 00:28:51,977 --> 00:28:54,078 they feel like this totally safe place. 653 00:28:54,712 --> 00:28:56,912 I'm just not ready for my whole world to change. 654 00:28:57,181 --> 00:28:58,415 I hope you understand. 655 00:28:58,684 --> 00:29:00,519 (indistinct conversation) 656 00:29:06,123 --> 00:29:08,459 SIMON: Yes, Blue. I understand. 657 00:29:24,310 --> 00:29:26,211 (sniffing) 658 00:29:27,113 --> 00:29:28,546 Okay, if you want me to help you with Abby, 659 00:29:28,713 --> 00:29:29,713 you cannot eat that. 660 00:29:30,183 --> 00:29:31,383 So you're gonna help me? 661 00:29:31,817 --> 00:29:32,719 Yeah. 662 00:29:33,618 --> 00:29:35,153 (chuckles) 663 00:29:35,854 --> 00:29:38,655 Simon, that is fantastic news. 664 00:29:38,923 --> 00:29:40,891 I really think that Abby and I are meant to be together. 665 00:29:40,959 --> 00:29:42,192 - Really? Do you? - Mm-hmm. 666 00:29:42,260 --> 00:29:43,527 It's not all about looks, Simon. 667 00:29:43,596 --> 00:29:46,130 Okay. So you're banking on your great, 668 00:29:46,197 --> 00:29:48,231 blackmaily personality to get the job done? 669 00:29:48,301 --> 00:29:50,269 - Where are we going? - Your place. 670 00:29:50,402 --> 00:29:51,736 We're gonna see if you have anything 671 00:29:51,803 --> 00:29:53,237 that doesn't scream, "punch me." 672 00:29:53,406 --> 00:29:55,307 Actually, I've got swim lessons. 673 00:29:55,806 --> 00:29:56,706 Cancel it! 674 00:29:57,378 --> 00:29:59,579 MARTIN: Okay, I just have to call my mom first. 675 00:29:59,645 --> 00:30:02,113 She has to approve everybody that comes in the house. 676 00:30:03,215 --> 00:30:05,150 All right. Here we go. 677 00:30:06,784 --> 00:30:09,253 All right. And here we are. 678 00:30:10,755 --> 00:30:11,821 This is where the magic happens. 679 00:30:11,889 --> 00:30:12,790 Wow. 680 00:30:13,125 --> 00:30:15,626 Ooh. Correction. (chuckles) 681 00:30:16,163 --> 00:30:18,463 This is where the magic happens. 682 00:30:20,031 --> 00:30:21,764 I've been dabbling in close-up illusions. 683 00:30:22,099 --> 00:30:23,099 Does Abby like magic? 684 00:30:23,469 --> 00:30:25,303 No. Martin, I don't think she does like magic. 685 00:30:25,372 --> 00:30:26,805 But, um, there's a really thin line 686 00:30:26,872 --> 00:30:30,106 between laughing with someone, and laughing at someone. 687 00:30:30,576 --> 00:30:31,509 And you are that line. 688 00:30:31,575 --> 00:30:33,076 So, if you want Abby to like you, 689 00:30:33,144 --> 00:30:34,377 what you have to do is you have to 690 00:30:34,447 --> 00:30:35,980 make her see you as more of a... 691 00:30:36,047 --> 00:30:37,415 As sexy Martin! 692 00:30:38,050 --> 00:30:40,318 Yeah! Yeah, I could be sexy. 693 00:30:42,656 --> 00:30:44,222 You like dudes. Tell me. 694 00:30:44,524 --> 00:30:45,990 What part of me do you find the hottest? 695 00:30:46,056 --> 00:30:48,024 - No. I'm not doing this. - No. Come on. 696 00:30:48,092 --> 00:30:49,427 No, Martin. I don't want to answer that. 697 00:30:49,495 --> 00:30:50,928 Look, if you said my shoulders 698 00:30:51,062 --> 00:30:53,465 I would dress to accentuate. You know? 699 00:30:54,001 --> 00:30:55,468 You know what? Here's your first tip. 700 00:30:55,768 --> 00:30:56,468 Ripped. 701 00:30:56,769 --> 00:30:59,771 Girls, they don't want to read your clothes. 702 00:30:59,973 --> 00:31:01,373 I think you're wrong about that one. 703 00:31:02,274 --> 00:31:03,442 How many of these do you have? 704 00:31:04,241 --> 00:31:07,211 Please, just stop! Hey! Stop! 705 00:31:07,579 --> 00:31:10,115 Look, I don't want your help in changing me. 706 00:31:10,816 --> 00:31:14,385 I want your help in getting Abby to like me for me. 707 00:31:16,954 --> 00:31:18,155 Look. Um... 708 00:31:20,026 --> 00:31:22,861 there's a party this Saturday. At Bram's. 709 00:31:25,564 --> 00:31:27,198 Do you want to go with my friends and I? 710 00:31:27,766 --> 00:31:28,667 Yes! 711 00:31:29,069 --> 00:31:31,036 Yes! So simple. 712 00:31:31,735 --> 00:31:33,570 Must be why they call you Simple Simon. 713 00:31:33,839 --> 00:31:35,407 Nobody calls me that, Martin. 714 00:31:36,308 --> 00:31:38,710 Hey, uh, do you want to, like, sleep over? 715 00:31:39,144 --> 00:31:40,245 SIMON: Nope. 716 00:31:50,489 --> 00:31:51,555 Oh, hello. 717 00:31:52,057 --> 00:31:53,256 Hey, what's up? 718 00:31:53,393 --> 00:31:54,794 - Nice, right? - LEAH: Nick. 719 00:31:54,860 --> 00:31:55,560 Good? 720 00:31:55,994 --> 00:31:58,061 This is, like, a new level of laziness, even for you. 721 00:31:58,261 --> 00:32:00,796 What do you mean? I'm Cristiano Ronaldo. 722 00:32:00,865 --> 00:32:01,866 And you couldn't even be bothered 723 00:32:01,934 --> 00:32:03,402 to fill in the letters on the back? 724 00:32:03,835 --> 00:32:05,603 No, come on. Give me that. 725 00:32:06,538 --> 00:32:08,672 - You are a bully. - (laughs) 726 00:32:08,740 --> 00:32:12,141 (In a British accent) Hey. Don't talk about Yoko that way, man. 727 00:32:12,377 --> 00:32:14,712 Because if you do, you're out of the band. 728 00:32:14,980 --> 00:32:16,280 Who are you guys supposed to be? 729 00:32:18,082 --> 00:32:19,381 John Lennon and Yoko Ono. 730 00:32:19,852 --> 00:32:21,919 Oh! I thought she was the girl from The Ring, 731 00:32:22,053 --> 00:32:23,220 and you were Jesus. 732 00:32:23,389 --> 00:32:26,622 Jesus? No. Why would Jesus be wearing a white suit? 733 00:32:26,925 --> 00:32:27,893 I don't know. You tell me. 734 00:32:28,327 --> 00:32:29,827 You're the one who decided to dress up like fancy Jesus. 735 00:32:30,061 --> 00:32:31,294 Oh, my God. Okay. Come here. 736 00:32:31,494 --> 00:32:32,695 - Turn around. - I'm here. 737 00:32:32,764 --> 00:32:33,764 - Turn around. - Okay. 738 00:32:34,434 --> 00:32:35,334 - Okay. - Is it good? 739 00:32:35,399 --> 00:32:36,299 - Way better. - Is it? 740 00:32:36,667 --> 00:32:37,934 Yeah. Now, we need to do something about this hair. 741 00:32:37,970 --> 00:32:39,069 Maybe slick it back? 742 00:32:39,239 --> 00:32:41,173 NICK: It doesn't do that. It doesn't slick back. 743 00:32:41,807 --> 00:32:42,839 Wonder Woman in the hizzy! 744 00:32:42,907 --> 00:32:43,908 NICK: Hi! 745 00:32:44,710 --> 00:32:45,542 I made up a catchphrase, 746 00:32:45,609 --> 00:32:47,310 'cause Wonder Woman doesn't have one. 747 00:32:48,780 --> 00:32:49,681 "Hizzy" means house. 748 00:32:49,914 --> 00:32:50,946 - Yeah. - Yeah. 749 00:32:51,015 --> 00:32:52,216 - Right. Yeah. - Yeah. 750 00:32:52,884 --> 00:32:54,385 Oh, Abby, you look amazing. 751 00:32:54,620 --> 00:32:55,520 Thank you! 752 00:32:56,822 --> 00:32:58,256 Yeah. You look awesome. 753 00:32:59,091 --> 00:33:00,624 I'm gonna go make those frozen pizzas. 754 00:33:01,127 --> 00:33:02,025 NICK: All right. 755 00:33:02,127 --> 00:33:03,428 Yeah, I'll help. 756 00:33:05,163 --> 00:33:06,496 That's a nice costume, for real. 757 00:33:06,565 --> 00:33:09,167 Thank you. What? Cristiano Ronaldo! 758 00:33:09,234 --> 00:33:10,335 Nailed it. 759 00:33:11,070 --> 00:33:12,102 Do you remember when we went to school 760 00:33:12,168 --> 00:33:13,236 dressed as Charlie's Angels? 761 00:33:13,340 --> 00:33:14,572 Oh, my God, yes. 762 00:33:14,707 --> 00:33:16,373 And Nick's balls fell out of his booty shorts 763 00:33:16,441 --> 00:33:18,275 when he, like, dropped down to do the gun pose? 764 00:33:19,512 --> 00:33:21,412 Mm. Do you miss trick-or-treating? 765 00:33:21,546 --> 00:33:22,813 What, you mean instead of, like, 766 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:23,680 going to loud parties 767 00:33:23,749 --> 00:33:25,083 pretending to like the taste of beer 768 00:33:25,149 --> 00:33:26,715 and feeling too self-conscious to dance? 769 00:33:27,318 --> 00:33:28,519 I don't know why you feel self-conscious. 770 00:33:28,619 --> 00:33:31,053 I mean, you are very clearly 771 00:33:31,123 --> 00:33:32,691 the coolest person at our school. 772 00:33:34,027 --> 00:33:36,428 I'm pretty sure you're the only one who feels that way. 773 00:33:37,630 --> 00:33:38,530 But thank you. 774 00:33:41,098 --> 00:33:43,834 (doorbell ringing) 775 00:33:44,268 --> 00:33:45,370 Who's that? 776 00:33:46,138 --> 00:33:47,170 I invited Martin. 777 00:33:47,372 --> 00:33:48,973 - Martin Addison? - (groans) Why? 778 00:33:49,108 --> 00:33:50,708 Is this a Make-A-Wish situation? 779 00:33:50,976 --> 00:33:52,243 (doorbell continues ringing) 780 00:33:52,411 --> 00:33:53,511 No, he's cool. 781 00:33:55,580 --> 00:33:56,679 Hey. 782 00:33:57,815 --> 00:33:59,250 Oh, looking sharp. 783 00:33:59,752 --> 00:34:00,452 What the... 784 00:34:00,752 --> 00:34:02,853 - MARTIN: Guys. - What are you supposed to be? 785 00:34:03,155 --> 00:34:04,388 Isn't it obvious? 786 00:34:05,257 --> 00:34:07,424 Ah! I'm a Freudian slip. 787 00:34:09,494 --> 00:34:11,662 Abby. Wonder Woman. 788 00:34:15,965 --> 00:34:17,299 NICK: Just pick a song already. 789 00:34:17,701 --> 00:34:19,870 Hey, Nick, uh, can you not rush me? 790 00:34:20,005 --> 00:34:21,205 (laughing) 791 00:34:21,705 --> 00:34:23,205 ABBY: Honestly, I can't choose. There's so many. 792 00:34:23,274 --> 00:34:24,174 That's like Netflix. 793 00:34:24,410 --> 00:34:26,277 You know, trying to pick a film on Netflix. 794 00:34:26,579 --> 00:34:29,481 I'm like... (groans) "Am I in an Apatow mood, 795 00:34:29,548 --> 00:34:32,182 or am I in a Billy Wilder mood?" You know? 796 00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:33,985 Ooh, play Drake. Yes. 797 00:34:34,152 --> 00:34:37,287 Uh, no. Drake is, like, super played out at this point. 798 00:34:37,856 --> 00:34:40,159 You can't play out a rap god. Doesn't happen. 799 00:34:40,226 --> 00:34:41,156 Impossible. 800 00:34:41,257 --> 00:34:42,326 First of all, he's not a rap god. 801 00:34:42,529 --> 00:34:44,429 And second of all, I'm looking for some Beyoncé. 802 00:34:44,496 --> 00:34:46,064 - Oh. - I just can't find "Lemonade." 803 00:34:46,131 --> 00:34:47,965 Hey. Here's an interesting question. 804 00:34:48,032 --> 00:34:48,731 I love Beyoncé. 805 00:34:48,867 --> 00:34:50,033 What makes you guys feel nostalgic? 806 00:34:50,100 --> 00:34:51,000 You do? 807 00:34:51,337 --> 00:34:52,603 I mean, I think everybody kinda likes Beyoncé. 808 00:34:53,237 --> 00:34:55,172 Grape soda makes me feel very nostalgic. 809 00:34:55,241 --> 00:34:57,808 - What are you talking about? - What makes you feel nostalgic? 810 00:34:58,343 --> 00:34:59,242 Hey, Abby. 811 00:34:59,611 --> 00:35:01,578 I bet you're gonna have the best costume tonight. 812 00:35:02,313 --> 00:35:04,315 - Thanks. - Nah, you're welcome. 813 00:35:05,152 --> 00:35:06,518 (Martin mocking) 814 00:35:08,118 --> 00:35:09,218 What the hell, Spier? 815 00:35:09,354 --> 00:35:11,821 Hey, why is Nick still flirting with Abby? 816 00:35:12,123 --> 00:35:13,057 SIMON: I don't know, Martin. 817 00:35:13,191 --> 00:35:14,793 Maybe you shouldn't have worn a dress. 818 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:16,759 You look like a drag queen 819 00:35:16,826 --> 00:35:18,562 rolled around in magnetic poetry. 820 00:35:19,397 --> 00:35:21,063 (music playing) 821 00:35:21,132 --> 00:35:22,264 Hey, Abby! 822 00:35:22,534 --> 00:35:24,233 Whenever you need a refill of your drink, 823 00:35:24,369 --> 00:35:25,969 I'll be your designated bartender. 824 00:35:26,136 --> 00:35:27,103 So don't worry. 825 00:35:27,339 --> 00:35:29,540 Okay. Hey, Chloe, come here! 826 00:35:29,774 --> 00:35:31,006 Yo, yo, yo! 827 00:35:31,075 --> 00:35:33,510 Hey. John Lennon? 828 00:35:33,677 --> 00:35:35,178 - Yeah. You got it. - Nice. 829 00:35:35,380 --> 00:35:37,449 And, um, Nick... 830 00:35:38,549 --> 00:35:41,384 - You're Nick. - No. No. I'm Ronaldo. 831 00:35:41,452 --> 00:35:43,287 - Oh. My bad. - Obviously. 832 00:35:43,555 --> 00:35:44,455 Who are you supposed to be? 833 00:35:44,756 --> 00:35:47,891 Oh. Uh... I am post-presidency Barack Obama. 834 00:35:48,025 --> 00:35:50,526 So I'm just chillin' in Hawaii, drinking Mai Tais, 835 00:35:50,595 --> 00:35:52,263 writing memoirs and hoping 836 00:35:52,330 --> 00:35:53,763 Trump doesn't destroy my legacy. 837 00:35:53,832 --> 00:35:56,099 - (both chuckle) - That's awesome. 838 00:35:56,768 --> 00:35:58,836 Thanks. Now let's go to the bar. Come on. 839 00:35:59,237 --> 00:36:00,137 BOTH: Yeah. 840 00:36:00,370 --> 00:36:01,270 Hell yeah. 841 00:36:02,006 --> 00:36:04,308 (rapping) ♪ My name is My sign is ♪ 842 00:36:04,377 --> 00:36:05,776 - No, Garrett, no. - ♪ My number is ♪ 843 00:36:05,909 --> 00:36:08,443 ♪ You need to let it go Need to let it go ♪ 844 00:36:08,579 --> 00:36:09,713 ♪ Need to let it go ♪ 845 00:36:09,782 --> 00:36:12,181 ♪ Nah to the ah to the no, no, no... ♪ 846 00:36:12,685 --> 00:36:14,018 ♪ Whatchu gonna say? ♪ 847 00:36:14,286 --> 00:36:15,918 All right, we should have a little toast. 848 00:36:16,186 --> 00:36:17,087 No, thanks. I'm driving. 849 00:36:17,189 --> 00:36:18,055 And Simon doesn't really drink. 850 00:36:18,122 --> 00:36:19,356 No, I drink. It's cool. I drink. 851 00:36:19,657 --> 00:36:20,990 - All right, that's my man. - NICK: Really? 852 00:36:21,060 --> 00:36:22,025 You wouldn't even have a glass 853 00:36:22,094 --> 00:36:23,293 of Manischewitz at Leah's Seder. 854 00:36:23,362 --> 00:36:25,829 It's Halloween, man. It's a special occasion. 855 00:36:26,430 --> 00:36:27,530 True that. 856 00:36:28,166 --> 00:36:29,066 BOTH: Cheers. 857 00:36:30,003 --> 00:36:30,902 (gagging) 858 00:36:33,337 --> 00:36:34,504 - You okay? - (coughing) 859 00:36:34,672 --> 00:36:38,307 (dance music playing) 860 00:36:38,410 --> 00:36:40,011 You're good at this. You got this. 861 00:36:43,916 --> 00:36:47,817 Abby is the hottest Wonder Woman I have ever seen. 862 00:36:48,087 --> 00:36:48,786 SIMON: Yeah. 863 00:36:49,287 --> 00:36:50,887 The shit that I would let her do to me with that lasso. 864 00:36:50,954 --> 00:36:51,854 Oh, I know, man. 865 00:36:51,923 --> 00:36:54,424 Just, like, tie me up with that thing. 866 00:36:54,626 --> 00:36:56,059 You're not into Abby, are you? 867 00:36:56,294 --> 00:36:57,327 No, no, no. 868 00:36:57,428 --> 00:36:59,763 I mean, it's not like I... She's cute... 869 00:36:59,830 --> 00:37:00,529 Yeah. 870 00:37:00,664 --> 00:37:01,865 ...but she's just not really my type. 871 00:37:03,101 --> 00:37:06,168 Not because she's black. I love black women. 872 00:37:06,504 --> 00:37:08,572 Not like, you know, I have a thing for black women, 873 00:37:08,641 --> 00:37:10,708 I just love all women. 874 00:37:13,178 --> 00:37:14,979 - Oh, oh. Oh! - Oh! 875 00:37:15,213 --> 00:37:18,615 - Oh, hey. - Hey! Oh, hey. 876 00:37:19,284 --> 00:37:21,819 Hey. Mm. 877 00:37:23,455 --> 00:37:25,722 - I'm gonna go ask her out. - What? No. 878 00:37:26,224 --> 00:37:27,257 - No? No? - No. 879 00:37:27,558 --> 00:37:29,192 - You can't ask Abby out. - Why not? 880 00:37:30,027 --> 00:37:34,096 Because. She didn't tell you about Jonathan? 881 00:37:34,366 --> 00:37:35,298 She didn't tell you about that? 882 00:37:35,367 --> 00:37:36,333 - No. - He's older. 883 00:37:36,566 --> 00:37:38,668 - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. - In college. 884 00:37:39,036 --> 00:37:40,570 He's really experienced. 885 00:37:43,042 --> 00:37:44,442 You know I've only had sex once, right? 886 00:37:44,509 --> 00:37:45,407 I know that. 887 00:37:45,575 --> 00:37:46,575 You know, it's like no one tells you 888 00:37:46,642 --> 00:37:47,644 how dark everything is 889 00:37:47,912 --> 00:37:50,346 and how slippery everything gets, and, you know, 890 00:37:50,413 --> 00:37:51,448 the parts you think are the right parts 891 00:37:51,515 --> 00:37:52,783 are actually the wrong parts and... 892 00:37:54,585 --> 00:37:56,653 All right, I'm gonna go eat my feelings away. 893 00:37:58,088 --> 00:37:58,788 Man, I'm sorry... 894 00:37:59,057 --> 00:38:00,257 NICK: No, it's okay. Don't worry about it. 895 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:03,861 Whoa, whoa. 896 00:38:08,633 --> 00:38:09,667 - BRAM: Hey, Simon! - Hey. 897 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:11,200 Hey, you wanna play Beirut? 898 00:38:11,436 --> 00:38:12,468 Yeah. Sure. 899 00:38:12,869 --> 00:38:14,270 We just need two more people. 900 00:38:14,340 --> 00:38:16,807 How about you and me, and then, um... 901 00:38:17,841 --> 00:38:18,740 I insist. 902 00:38:18,977 --> 00:38:19,978 Abby and Martin? 903 00:38:20,746 --> 00:38:21,878 - BRAM: Okay, cool. - SIMON: Hey, Martin. 904 00:38:21,947 --> 00:38:23,146 - MARTIN: Yeah. - SIMON: Abby. 905 00:38:23,481 --> 00:38:24,381 Let's play Beirut. 906 00:38:24,516 --> 00:38:25,915 - No, I don't... - Yeah. Let's do it. 907 00:38:26,051 --> 00:38:28,619 Come on, let's go. It'll be fun. It'll be fun. 908 00:38:28,787 --> 00:38:30,920 Good old competition. (chuckles) 909 00:38:31,387 --> 00:38:32,889 - Ready? - Yeah, I'm ready. 910 00:38:34,126 --> 00:38:35,525 Beirut. Right? 911 00:38:35,593 --> 00:38:36,527 - Yes! - (sighs) 912 00:38:36,727 --> 00:38:38,428 Okay. Have you ever played Beirut before? 913 00:38:38,763 --> 00:38:40,096 Uh, totally. Yeah. 914 00:38:40,664 --> 00:38:43,800 Great. All right, so, two reracks, no blowing 915 00:38:43,869 --> 00:38:44,834 and two balls in the cup means 916 00:38:44,903 --> 00:38:46,135 that you have to take three, okay? 917 00:38:46,237 --> 00:38:47,270 Okay. Cool. 918 00:38:47,739 --> 00:38:49,639 I thought we were talking about a different game. 919 00:38:50,074 --> 00:38:51,205 We'll just explain as we go. Okay? 920 00:38:51,276 --> 00:38:52,176 - Yeah. - Okay. Got it. 921 00:38:52,376 --> 00:38:53,276 SIMON: Ready? 922 00:38:53,412 --> 00:38:55,746 - Maybe you should take these... - Oh. 923 00:38:56,714 --> 00:38:59,181 - You'll see better. Right? - Good idea. Yeah. 924 00:39:00,218 --> 00:39:01,618 - All you. - Raindrop! 925 00:39:01,687 --> 00:39:03,354 MARTIN: Here we go, all right. You got this one. 926 00:39:03,687 --> 00:39:05,186 Oh, is that... This is mine to drink? 927 00:39:07,858 --> 00:39:08,759 God. 928 00:39:09,994 --> 00:39:10,893 Oh! 929 00:39:12,596 --> 00:39:13,497 All right. 930 00:39:13,564 --> 00:39:15,231 ALL: Chug! Chug! Chug! 931 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:17,333 (imitates explosion) 932 00:39:17,434 --> 00:39:19,067 Do we need a handshake? Is that... 933 00:39:19,371 --> 00:39:20,304 You get one of these in 934 00:39:20,404 --> 00:39:21,939 and we can totally have a handshake. 935 00:39:22,607 --> 00:39:23,940 Fly it away. Fly it away. 936 00:39:25,309 --> 00:39:27,043 Chug, chug, chug. 937 00:39:27,378 --> 00:39:28,445 - MARTIN: Sweet! - All right. 938 00:39:28,646 --> 00:39:29,746 (belches) 939 00:39:30,781 --> 00:39:32,148 ♪ As long as you love me ♪ 940 00:39:32,317 --> 00:39:35,685 ♪ We could be starving We could be homeless ♪ 941 00:39:35,753 --> 00:39:37,053 ♪ We could be loved ♪ 942 00:39:37,321 --> 00:39:38,722 ♪ As long as you love me ♪ 943 00:39:39,291 --> 00:39:41,625 (all cheering) 944 00:39:43,962 --> 00:39:46,495 ♪ Why can't I get Just one screw ♪ 945 00:39:46,564 --> 00:39:48,865 ♪ Baby, I know what to do ♪ 946 00:39:48,932 --> 00:39:51,966 ♪ But something won't let me Make love to you ♪ 947 00:39:52,270 --> 00:39:56,272 ♪ Day after day ♪ 948 00:39:56,540 --> 00:40:01,242 ♪ I get angry and I will say ♪ 949 00:40:05,951 --> 00:40:09,921 Hey, Bram. It's me, Jacques. 950 00:40:12,423 --> 00:40:14,659 Hey, Bram. I'm Jacques. 951 00:40:17,361 --> 00:40:21,197 Hey, Barack. It's me, Jacques. 952 00:40:22,733 --> 00:40:24,835 (sighs) Why did I pick Jacques? 953 00:40:26,237 --> 00:40:27,337 BOY: Yeah, no problem. 954 00:40:27,438 --> 00:40:28,705 (girls laughing) 955 00:40:29,308 --> 00:40:34,410 ("Monster Mash" playing) 956 00:40:42,854 --> 00:40:43,753 Oh. 957 00:40:44,622 --> 00:40:46,722 I'm sorry, I thought this was the bathroom. 958 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:49,860 Sorry. 959 00:40:56,367 --> 00:40:58,802 - I'm starting to get so tired! - I am so tired. 960 00:41:02,071 --> 00:41:03,906 Hey, Martin, not now, man. All right? 961 00:41:03,975 --> 00:41:05,075 I've had a big night. 962 00:41:07,278 --> 00:41:08,177 Oh! 963 00:41:08,345 --> 00:41:10,913 Really? Really? 964 00:41:12,150 --> 00:41:13,816 (groans) I'm sorry. 965 00:41:13,884 --> 00:41:15,751 - Come on! - (Martin coughing) 966 00:41:18,557 --> 00:41:20,157 - LEAH: What are you doing? - I don't know. 967 00:41:21,458 --> 00:41:22,358 (Leah sighs) 968 00:41:23,195 --> 00:41:24,595 ♪ Willkommen ♪ 969 00:41:24,663 --> 00:41:27,263 - Are you serious? - ♪ Bienvenue ♪ 970 00:41:27,665 --> 00:41:31,034 ♪ Welcome... ♪ Whoa. Careful. 971 00:41:31,269 --> 00:41:33,137 Okay, come on. We gotta get you home. 972 00:41:37,042 --> 00:41:39,410 - Look, we're so close! - Oh, my God! 973 00:41:39,477 --> 00:41:40,376 Wait, what? 974 00:41:40,610 --> 00:41:43,045 - Dude, my parents are still up. - Oh, God. 975 00:41:43,113 --> 00:41:45,047 - Oh... - Okay, you know what... Come on. 976 00:41:45,982 --> 00:41:47,917 I need you to think of something really sad... 977 00:41:47,984 --> 00:41:48,684 Uh-huh. 978 00:41:48,986 --> 00:41:50,819 Like, the documentary about how all the whales 979 00:41:50,887 --> 00:41:51,988 hate living at SeaWorld. 980 00:41:52,055 --> 00:41:52,756 Too sad! 981 00:41:52,923 --> 00:41:53,989 God. Okay, then just, you know what, 982 00:41:54,057 --> 00:41:54,991 don't say anything at all... 983 00:41:55,259 --> 00:41:57,560 And we'll ditch the barf shirt till tomorrow. 984 00:41:57,629 --> 00:41:58,730 SIMON: Okay. 985 00:41:59,830 --> 00:42:00,829 - LEAH: Si? - SIMON: Yeah. 986 00:42:01,032 --> 00:42:02,832 LEAH: Just as little as possible, 987 00:42:02,901 --> 00:42:04,135 say as little as possible. 988 00:42:05,203 --> 00:42:08,170 (door creaks) 989 00:42:12,843 --> 00:42:14,243 EMILY: So how does that work? 990 00:42:14,312 --> 00:42:16,346 I know, I remember when I went to... 991 00:42:16,681 --> 00:42:17,882 Hey, guys! 992 00:42:18,617 --> 00:42:20,383 - Hey! - Hey! 993 00:42:20,616 --> 00:42:21,750 - Come talk to us. - Hey! 994 00:42:21,884 --> 00:42:23,953 - How was the party? - It was really fun. 995 00:42:24,187 --> 00:42:25,086 - Was it? - Yeah. 996 00:42:25,489 --> 00:42:26,389 Aces. 997 00:42:27,492 --> 00:42:29,861 BOTH: Huh. (chuckling) 998 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,228 Uh, well. Thanks for letting me stay over. 999 00:42:33,297 --> 00:42:34,897 - JACK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. - EMILY: Yeah. 1000 00:42:35,164 --> 00:42:36,499 You've been staying over 10 years. 1001 00:42:37,601 --> 00:42:38,735 You don't have to thank us. 1002 00:42:38,802 --> 00:42:40,902 Oh. Yeah, thanks. 1003 00:42:41,571 --> 00:42:43,005 (whispers) Stop. Shh! 1004 00:42:47,044 --> 00:42:48,378 John Lennon was wearing a woman's sweater. 1005 00:42:48,445 --> 00:42:49,812 - Mm. - And he's drunk. 1006 00:42:50,214 --> 00:42:51,781 - Definitely. - So how do we feel about that? 1007 00:42:51,848 --> 00:42:53,583 Well, he didn't drive drunk, 1008 00:42:53,650 --> 00:42:55,283 and he's home before curfew, so... 1009 00:42:55,919 --> 00:42:58,021 Good. That's what I thought we thought. 1010 00:42:58,088 --> 00:42:59,954 Yeah, that's what we think, right? 1011 00:43:00,025 --> 00:43:01,559 - Yeah. We're good parents. - Yeah, we're good parents. 1012 00:43:01,625 --> 00:43:02,525 Right? 1013 00:43:03,427 --> 00:43:05,327 (slow music playing) 1014 00:43:07,531 --> 00:43:08,832 The room stopped spinning. 1015 00:43:19,976 --> 00:43:21,243 Do you ever feel weird? 1016 00:43:23,247 --> 00:43:25,281 - Weird? - Yeah. 1017 00:43:28,453 --> 00:43:30,887 Sometimes I feel like I'm always on the outside. 1018 00:43:34,858 --> 00:43:35,957 What do you mean? 1019 00:43:36,493 --> 00:43:38,196 Like tonight, you know... 1020 00:43:38,764 --> 00:43:40,729 I was at that party, and it was fun, but... 1021 00:43:41,298 --> 00:43:44,067 it kinda felt like I was watching it 1022 00:43:44,133 --> 00:43:45,266 from across the room. 1023 00:43:47,971 --> 00:43:49,572 I don't know, there's this invisible line 1024 00:43:49,641 --> 00:43:50,540 that I have to cross 1025 00:43:50,673 --> 00:43:51,674 to really be a part of everything 1026 00:43:51,741 --> 00:43:53,410 and I just, I can't ever cross it. 1027 00:43:56,012 --> 00:43:57,847 I feel that way sometimes, too. 1028 00:43:58,817 --> 00:43:59,815 Not tonight you didn't. 1029 00:44:00,049 --> 00:44:01,618 Yeah, I was trying something. 1030 00:44:03,087 --> 00:44:04,689 Yeah, sometimes I think it'd be so much easier 1031 00:44:04,756 --> 00:44:07,356 to be one of these people who can just take a few shots 1032 00:44:07,425 --> 00:44:09,392 and then hook up with whoever's closest. 1033 00:44:11,562 --> 00:44:13,130 Yeah, I guess I'm just unlucky. 1034 00:44:13,330 --> 00:44:14,231 Unlucky? 1035 00:44:16,066 --> 00:44:16,967 Why? 1036 00:44:18,035 --> 00:44:20,237 Because I'm not a casual person. 1037 00:44:21,705 --> 00:44:23,908 What kind of person are you? 1038 00:44:28,845 --> 00:44:29,944 I think I'm the kind of person 1039 00:44:30,012 --> 00:44:32,014 who is destined to care so much 1040 00:44:32,081 --> 00:44:34,083 about one person, it nearly kills me. 1041 00:44:39,490 --> 00:44:40,389 Me too. 1042 00:44:48,399 --> 00:44:49,299 It's getting late. 1043 00:45:05,516 --> 00:45:06,416 Si? 1044 00:45:07,484 --> 00:45:08,384 Yeah? 1045 00:45:08,587 --> 00:45:09,487 Good night. 1046 00:45:11,521 --> 00:45:12,421 Good night. 1047 00:45:16,025 --> 00:45:19,928 (slow music continues playing) 1048 00:45:34,444 --> 00:45:35,344 SIMON: Dear Blue, 1049 00:45:36,079 --> 00:45:37,881 so one of my friends likes the other, 1050 00:45:38,481 --> 00:45:41,549 and he has no idea. I guess we all have secrets. 1051 00:45:42,319 --> 00:45:43,686 Anyway, I've been thinking about 1052 00:45:43,754 --> 00:45:45,155 why I haven't come out yet. 1053 00:45:45,990 --> 00:45:47,523 Maybe it's because it doesn't seem fair 1054 00:45:47,590 --> 00:45:49,659 that only gay people have to come out. 1055 00:45:49,726 --> 00:45:51,160 Why is straight the default? 1056 00:45:52,062 --> 00:45:53,329 I have something I need to tell you. 1057 00:45:53,632 --> 00:45:56,332 Mom, there's something I have to tell you. 1058 00:45:56,534 --> 00:45:57,434 Can we talk? 1059 00:45:57,501 --> 00:45:58,435 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 1060 00:45:59,037 --> 00:45:59,935 I'm straight. 1061 00:46:00,002 --> 00:46:00,902 I'm straight. 1062 00:46:01,103 --> 00:46:02,739 I'm sorry, Mom, it's true. 1063 00:46:03,540 --> 00:46:04,439 I like girls. 1064 00:46:04,507 --> 00:46:05,407 (coughing) 1065 00:46:06,910 --> 00:46:07,810 I like men. 1066 00:46:07,945 --> 00:46:09,312 You get that from your daddy's side. 1067 00:46:10,112 --> 00:46:11,647 I'm in love with Nick. 1068 00:46:13,916 --> 00:46:15,616 I feel like I've been raising a stranger. 1069 00:46:15,687 --> 00:46:17,421 Yes, absolutely, you have. 1070 00:46:17,687 --> 00:46:18,720 I'm heterosexual. 1071 00:46:18,857 --> 00:46:21,591 Oh, God. Help me, Jesus. Please. 1072 00:46:21,757 --> 00:46:23,524 SIMON: Or maybe it's because I can't be sure 1073 00:46:23,594 --> 00:46:25,393 this whole "being gay" thing is forever. 1074 00:46:25,462 --> 00:46:27,096 Or maybe it's that there's not that much 1075 00:46:27,163 --> 00:46:28,064 of high school left 1076 00:46:28,232 --> 00:46:29,398 and part of me wants to hold on to 1077 00:46:29,466 --> 00:46:31,766 who I've always been just a little longer. 1078 00:46:32,202 --> 00:46:34,170 And then, when I go to college in Los Angeles, 1079 00:46:34,304 --> 00:46:36,071 I'll be gay and proud, I promise. 1080 00:46:36,172 --> 00:46:38,207 ("I wanna dance with somebody" playing) 1081 00:46:43,648 --> 00:46:44,582 ♪ Woo! ♪ 1082 00:46:47,917 --> 00:46:50,385 ♪ Ooh, yeah, uh-huh ♪ 1083 00:46:52,390 --> 00:46:53,290 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1084 00:46:55,659 --> 00:46:56,358 ♪ I want to dance ♪ 1085 00:46:56,692 --> 00:47:00,194 ♪ Oh! I wanna dance With somebody ♪ 1086 00:47:01,098 --> 00:47:04,234 ♪ I wanna feel the heat With somebody ♪ 1087 00:47:05,001 --> 00:47:08,238 ♪ Yeah! I wanna dance with somebody ♪ 1088 00:47:09,474 --> 00:47:12,274 ♪ With somebody who loves me ♪ 1089 00:47:12,341 --> 00:47:14,209 ♪ Don't you wanna dance Say you wanna dance ♪ 1090 00:47:14,278 --> 00:47:15,512 ♪ Don't you wanna dance ♪ 1091 00:47:18,083 --> 00:47:21,551 ♪ With somebody who loves me ♪ 1092 00:47:21,884 --> 00:47:23,319 ♪ Oh ♪ 1093 00:47:25,988 --> 00:47:28,189 ♪ Oh oh ♪ 1094 00:47:30,060 --> 00:47:31,193 Yeah, maybe not that gay. 1095 00:47:31,460 --> 00:47:32,861 SIMON: I'm not sure who I'm promising. 1096 00:47:33,362 --> 00:47:34,630 I'll keep ruminating. 1097 00:47:35,064 --> 00:47:36,165 Love, Jacques. 1098 00:47:44,675 --> 00:47:46,109 Shit! 1099 00:47:50,514 --> 00:47:52,280 TAYLOR: So, yeah, after swimming with dolphins, 1100 00:47:52,349 --> 00:47:54,450 we fly to Saint Martin for New Year's. 1101 00:47:55,151 --> 00:47:57,153 Anybody else, Christmas in the Caribbean? 1102 00:47:57,787 --> 00:47:58,487 Staying here. 1103 00:47:58,589 --> 00:48:00,488 We have a classic Spier tradition 1104 00:48:00,556 --> 00:48:02,356 of French toast on Christmas Eve. 1105 00:48:02,559 --> 00:48:04,360 I'm going to an unheated vacation house 1106 00:48:04,429 --> 00:48:05,361 in the middle of nowhere. 1107 00:48:05,596 --> 00:48:07,797 As is our bleak family tradition. 1108 00:48:08,165 --> 00:48:10,799 (winces) Ow! Ow! 1109 00:48:12,001 --> 00:48:12,900 Oh, man. Oh. 1110 00:48:12,970 --> 00:48:13,870 You okay? 1111 00:48:13,938 --> 00:48:15,438 Oh, yeah, that's a paper cut. 1112 00:48:16,140 --> 00:48:17,140 Overdramatic. 1113 00:48:17,641 --> 00:48:21,042 Um, Simon, do you know where the bandages are? 1114 00:48:21,510 --> 00:48:23,911 Yeah. They're just in the supply closet. 1115 00:48:24,314 --> 00:48:25,514 Okay, do you mind showing me? 1116 00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:29,618 Be right back. 1117 00:48:30,821 --> 00:48:32,288 He's like a nurse, this man. 1118 00:48:33,758 --> 00:48:35,558 Okay, I don't actually have a paper cut. 1119 00:48:35,659 --> 00:48:37,760 I know that, Martin. You're a very bad actor. 1120 00:48:37,828 --> 00:48:39,595 What, you think this is funny? 1121 00:48:41,231 --> 00:48:43,332 Simon, look, I don't wanna have to 1122 00:48:43,399 --> 00:48:45,232 leak your emails, all right? But I will. 1123 00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:48,169 Look, you cannot bring Blue into this, okay? 1124 00:48:48,237 --> 00:48:49,471 If he found out that my emails got leaked, 1125 00:48:49,541 --> 00:48:51,274 he'd get totally freaked, all right? 1126 00:48:51,341 --> 00:48:52,241 He'd never talk to me again. 1127 00:48:52,310 --> 00:48:53,877 Yeah, probably not, you know? 1128 00:48:54,143 --> 00:48:55,943 The Internet's a freaky place to meet people. 1129 00:48:56,046 --> 00:48:57,514 - Yo. - Hey! 1130 00:48:57,581 --> 00:48:58,280 Hey! 1131 00:48:58,449 --> 00:48:59,714 - Fun movie! Freak. - Freaky Friday. 1132 00:48:59,783 --> 00:49:01,784 - That's a fun movie! - Freaky, freak, freaky. 1133 00:49:01,850 --> 00:49:04,285 - Yeah, freaky-deaky Dutch! - ♪ She's a super freak ♪ 1134 00:49:04,420 --> 00:49:05,787 - BOTH: ♪ Super freak ♪ - You guys are weird. 1135 00:49:06,389 --> 00:49:08,857 I need a Band-Aid. Those programs are a bitch. 1136 00:49:10,859 --> 00:49:13,360 Erm, yo. Martin was having trouble running his lines 1137 00:49:13,429 --> 00:49:14,829 and we were thinking we could go 1138 00:49:14,899 --> 00:49:17,401 to Waffle House and go over 'em. 1139 00:49:18,570 --> 00:49:19,336 - Really? - Yeah. 1140 00:49:19,403 --> 00:49:20,502 That would be great. 1141 00:49:21,036 --> 00:49:22,270 I'm insky. 1142 00:49:24,342 --> 00:49:26,743 - Good work, Spier. - Go to hell, Martin. 1143 00:49:31,882 --> 00:49:32,782 (cell phone chimes) 1144 00:49:35,819 --> 00:49:37,987 BLUE: Jacques, if I were a betting man, 1145 00:49:38,122 --> 00:49:39,388 I'd say you were drunk emailing me 1146 00:49:39,455 --> 00:49:40,387 during that last letter. 1147 00:49:40,557 --> 00:49:42,291 Don't worry. I liked it. 1148 00:49:42,693 --> 00:49:44,494 As for coming out, I know what you mean 1149 00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:45,861 about wanting to wait till college. 1150 00:49:46,029 --> 00:49:47,697 But our emails have inspired me. 1151 00:49:48,265 --> 00:49:50,832 I'm going to tell my family. So thanks, Jacques. 1152 00:49:51,336 --> 00:49:53,237 Love, Blue. 1153 00:50:06,248 --> 00:50:07,714 (indistinct chatter) 1154 00:50:07,918 --> 00:50:08,819 Yeah. 1155 00:50:11,287 --> 00:50:12,387 MARTIN: Hey! 1156 00:50:12,789 --> 00:50:15,224 - Madame. - ABBY: Oh. 1157 00:50:16,994 --> 00:50:18,528 (chuckles) Simon... 1158 00:50:19,562 --> 00:50:21,563 How the thespians rehearse, right? 1159 00:50:21,631 --> 00:50:22,664 LYLE: Hey, guys. 1160 00:50:23,232 --> 00:50:24,165 What can I get you? 1161 00:50:24,499 --> 00:50:27,135 Lyle! You guys know Lyle? We have Latin together. 1162 00:50:27,304 --> 00:50:28,570 ABBY: I don't think so. 1163 00:50:28,905 --> 00:50:29,771 Hi. How's it going? 1164 00:50:29,837 --> 00:50:32,540 Actually, we had Bio together last year? 1165 00:50:32,674 --> 00:50:34,075 - SIMON: Oh, really? - It's Simon, right? 1166 00:50:34,411 --> 00:50:37,246 Yeah. Yeah, sorry, I don't, um... 1167 00:50:37,314 --> 00:50:39,115 It's okay. It was like a big class, 1168 00:50:39,182 --> 00:50:40,649 and I have a good memory for faces. 1169 00:50:42,018 --> 00:50:43,217 What can I get you guys? 1170 00:50:43,353 --> 00:50:45,387 MARTIN: Well, we plan on being here for a while. 1171 00:50:45,622 --> 00:50:48,324 So, we're gonna start off small and go larger. 1172 00:50:48,858 --> 00:50:52,192 Probably get some bacon first, some sausage. I'd say... 1173 00:50:52,962 --> 00:50:56,031 ABBY: "You're right. I'm much too strange and extraordinary. 1174 00:50:56,298 --> 00:50:58,899 Much! And much too distracting!" 1175 00:50:59,236 --> 00:51:00,134 Wow. 1176 00:51:00,904 --> 00:51:02,771 And you never did any acting at your old school? 1177 00:51:03,907 --> 00:51:05,673 No. Can we get back to... 1178 00:51:05,740 --> 00:51:07,407 And yet, you're from D.C., right? 1179 00:51:07,477 --> 00:51:08,978 Yeah. Can you give me my next cue, though? 1180 00:51:09,046 --> 00:51:10,778 MARTIN: So why did you move here? 1181 00:51:11,514 --> 00:51:13,282 Because my parents got divorced 1182 00:51:13,351 --> 00:51:15,183 and my aunt found us an apartment in her building. 1183 00:51:15,350 --> 00:51:16,384 Why'd they get divorced? 1184 00:51:16,685 --> 00:51:17,585 Why does it matter, Martin? 1185 00:51:17,720 --> 00:51:18,955 Are you writing a book about girls 1186 00:51:19,022 --> 00:51:20,322 from a broken home in D.C.? 1187 00:51:21,891 --> 00:51:22,791 So? 1188 00:51:24,293 --> 00:51:26,060 I thought that my dad 1189 00:51:26,129 --> 00:51:28,997 was the greatest person on the planet. 1190 00:51:30,467 --> 00:51:34,302 But it turns out that he's just a sad, tired loser 1191 00:51:34,370 --> 00:51:36,871 who hates his job, drinks way too much beer, 1192 00:51:37,072 --> 00:51:38,206 and cheats on his wife. 1193 00:51:38,607 --> 00:51:41,141 To make up for all the stuff that I just mentioned, so... 1194 00:51:41,311 --> 00:51:42,778 Well, I'm sorry to hear that. 1195 00:51:43,579 --> 00:51:44,279 Yeah. 1196 00:51:44,646 --> 00:51:46,514 You deserve the father that you thought you had. 1197 00:51:49,186 --> 00:51:50,720 You know what, Abby? 1198 00:51:52,388 --> 00:51:54,222 You deserve a goddamn superhero. 1199 00:51:54,925 --> 00:51:57,526 Okay, thank you. Let's get back to the... 1200 00:51:57,759 --> 00:51:58,660 Say it. 1201 00:52:00,095 --> 00:52:00,995 What? 1202 00:52:01,799 --> 00:52:02,965 I wanna hear you say 1203 00:52:03,401 --> 00:52:07,068 "I, Abby Susso, am an incredible young woman 1204 00:52:07,737 --> 00:52:10,438 and deserve a goddamn superhero." 1205 00:52:10,772 --> 00:52:12,841 I'm not gonna say that, Martin. 1206 00:52:13,843 --> 00:52:15,177 Okay. Well, um... 1207 00:52:15,746 --> 00:52:17,546 I won't stop until you say it. 1208 00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:19,380 ABBY: Okay. 1209 00:52:20,415 --> 00:52:21,949 - What are you... - Excuse me. 1210 00:52:22,051 --> 00:52:23,886 - Waffle House patrons! - ABBY: Martin. Martin, stop. 1211 00:52:23,953 --> 00:52:25,285 - Pardon the interruption. - BOTH: Martin. 1212 00:52:25,354 --> 00:52:27,923 I would just like to say that Abby Susso here 1213 00:52:28,158 --> 00:52:29,357 is an incredible young woman. 1214 00:52:29,426 --> 00:52:30,491 Martin, please. 1215 00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,628 And deserves a goddamn superhero. 1216 00:52:32,728 --> 00:52:35,095 - Okay, okay... - That's right. Abby Susso! 1217 00:52:35,531 --> 00:52:37,133 Abby Susso is an incredible young woman! 1218 00:52:37,198 --> 00:52:38,198 ABBY: I'm Abby Susso! 1219 00:52:38,769 --> 00:52:41,035 Incredible young woman, and deserves... 1220 00:52:41,503 --> 00:52:42,837 - A goddamn superhero. - A goddamn superhero. 1221 00:52:42,971 --> 00:52:44,905 - A goddamn superhero! - A goddamn superhero! 1222 00:52:45,207 --> 00:52:46,675 A goddamn superhero! 1223 00:52:53,215 --> 00:52:54,116 Yeah. 1224 00:52:55,051 --> 00:52:56,384 All right. (claps) 1225 00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:58,719 Breakthrough. Yeah. 1226 00:52:59,555 --> 00:53:02,057 Okay, you can all go back to your meals. Thank you. 1227 00:53:02,124 --> 00:53:03,726 Please sit down. Please. 1228 00:53:04,826 --> 00:53:06,995 - (Martin clears throat) - (Abby sighs) 1229 00:53:07,263 --> 00:53:08,164 Well... 1230 00:53:08,732 --> 00:53:11,466 Well, let's get back to... 1231 00:53:12,035 --> 00:53:14,036 - my entrance into your song. - I'm gonna take five. 1232 00:53:15,038 --> 00:53:17,173 MARTIN: "Ah, the Kit Kat Klub proudly presents... 1233 00:53:17,375 --> 00:53:18,275 I'll be right back. 1234 00:53:18,674 --> 00:53:19,673 ...a beautiful woman coming straight from England." 1235 00:53:19,675 --> 00:53:21,977 Sally Bowles, everybody." 1236 00:53:33,256 --> 00:53:34,156 Hey. 1237 00:53:35,757 --> 00:53:38,792 Were you in Bio when they did that identifying leaves test? 1238 00:53:39,028 --> 00:53:41,529 Yes. And Joel Winslow ate that poison ivy. 1239 00:53:41,832 --> 00:53:43,431 Because Doug Fogerty told him it was pot. 1240 00:53:43,634 --> 00:53:45,201 - Right. (laughs) - SIMON: Poor Joel. 1241 00:53:45,767 --> 00:53:47,568 I think he just wants to be liked 'cause... 1242 00:53:48,338 --> 00:53:51,371 you ever notice that he has extra pens in his backpack? 1243 00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:54,341 Like, you know, he's just waiting for the day 1244 00:53:54,410 --> 00:53:56,311 that someone comes up to ask him for a pen? 1245 00:53:56,847 --> 00:54:00,114 And then he can be that guy to give 'em a pen. 1246 00:54:01,384 --> 00:54:02,819 You see everything, don't you, Simon? 1247 00:54:03,219 --> 00:54:04,485 I don't know. 1248 00:54:05,354 --> 00:54:06,855 But Simon means "the one who hears" 1249 00:54:06,957 --> 00:54:09,225 and Spier means "the one who sees" 1250 00:54:09,291 --> 00:54:11,460 so you put that all together 1251 00:54:11,527 --> 00:54:14,494 and pretty sure that means I was just destined 1252 00:54:14,562 --> 00:54:15,963 to be up in everybody's business. 1253 00:54:18,734 --> 00:54:19,733 I've gotta get back inside 1254 00:54:19,802 --> 00:54:21,603 and scrub down some waffle irons. 1255 00:54:22,137 --> 00:54:24,039 - Duty calls. - Indeed. 1256 00:54:25,174 --> 00:54:26,174 I'll see you in there. 1257 00:54:26,975 --> 00:54:27,876 Yeah, I'll see ya. 1258 00:54:34,951 --> 00:54:35,852 (cell phone chimes) 1259 00:54:43,927 --> 00:54:44,826 Hi. 1260 00:54:45,596 --> 00:54:48,264 BLUE: So my dad's flying in tonight for Hanukkah. 1261 00:54:48,598 --> 00:54:49,564 If you are thinking, 1262 00:54:49,798 --> 00:54:51,099 "But Hanukkah isn't for another month!" 1263 00:54:51,166 --> 00:54:52,533 Well, you are correct. 1264 00:54:52,903 --> 00:54:55,103 Welcome to navigating divorced parents. 1265 00:54:55,804 --> 00:54:57,138 Take holidays where you can get them. 1266 00:54:57,340 --> 00:55:00,442 And my dad's staying at the same crappy motel as always. 1267 00:55:00,510 --> 00:55:02,710 We'll do all our horribly awkward traditions. 1268 00:55:03,613 --> 00:55:05,947 We'll light the menorah and I'll silently pray 1269 00:55:06,016 --> 00:55:07,884 that the sprinklers don't go off. 1270 00:55:08,184 --> 00:55:09,718 That's happened twice before. 1271 00:55:11,187 --> 00:55:13,555 Would you believe I'm considering doubling down 1272 00:55:13,723 --> 00:55:15,023 and turning this whole awkward mess 1273 00:55:15,090 --> 00:55:16,791 into a coming out thing? 1274 00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:19,027 Do you think I'm crazy? 1275 00:55:19,995 --> 00:55:21,730 SIMON: No, Blue, I don't think you're crazy. 1276 00:55:22,165 --> 00:55:24,033 I think you're crazy brave. 1277 00:55:38,282 --> 00:55:40,949 ABBY: Honestly, Martin used to annoy the crap out of me. 1278 00:55:41,016 --> 00:55:43,285 But he's actually kind of a cool person. 1279 00:55:45,689 --> 00:55:47,656 I've been meaning to ask you about your parents. 1280 00:55:48,356 --> 00:55:49,590 I just didn't wanna say anything 1281 00:55:49,657 --> 00:55:50,757 when we were actually in the restaurant. 1282 00:55:50,826 --> 00:55:52,693 I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk about it. 1283 00:55:53,061 --> 00:55:55,328 Yeah. No, I don't mention it a lot 1284 00:55:55,665 --> 00:55:58,100 because it kind of messes with my image. 1285 00:55:59,102 --> 00:56:00,235 What kind of image? 1286 00:56:02,103 --> 00:56:04,071 The girl who is excited 1287 00:56:04,140 --> 00:56:06,275 to start a new school senior year. 1288 00:56:06,841 --> 00:56:09,342 Girl whose life didn't just end, 1289 00:56:09,411 --> 00:56:10,512 like, three months ago, 1290 00:56:10,579 --> 00:56:12,981 who's angry and sad all the time. 1291 00:56:15,585 --> 00:56:17,053 Girl who still believes in love. 1292 00:56:17,953 --> 00:56:20,921 Come on. You still believe in love. 1293 00:56:22,057 --> 00:56:22,957 Maybe. 1294 00:56:23,559 --> 00:56:24,926 Have you ever been in love? 1295 00:56:28,697 --> 00:56:29,798 I think so. 1296 00:56:44,478 --> 00:56:45,379 Abby. 1297 00:56:46,583 --> 00:56:47,682 Yeah? 1298 00:56:51,087 --> 00:56:51,988 I'm gay. 1299 00:56:53,957 --> 00:56:54,856 Oh. 1300 00:56:57,659 --> 00:56:59,093 You can't tell anyone though. 1301 00:57:00,297 --> 00:57:01,129 Nobody really knows, 1302 00:57:01,263 --> 00:57:03,297 and I don't really want people to find out. 1303 00:57:03,366 --> 00:57:04,899 I won't. I promise. 1304 00:57:05,235 --> 00:57:06,135 Okay. 1305 00:57:11,473 --> 00:57:12,373 You surprised? 1306 00:57:14,045 --> 00:57:14,944 No. 1307 00:57:16,312 --> 00:57:17,947 - So you knew? - No. 1308 00:57:19,449 --> 00:57:20,715 But you're not surprised? 1309 00:57:21,750 --> 00:57:23,150 Do you want me to be surprised? 1310 00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:25,819 I don't know. 1311 00:57:27,156 --> 00:57:28,057 Okay. 1312 00:57:28,857 --> 00:57:30,025 Well, I love you. 1313 00:57:31,492 --> 00:57:32,393 So... 1314 00:57:41,706 --> 00:57:42,806 Love you, too. 1315 00:57:49,544 --> 00:57:50,445 (sighs in relief) 1316 00:57:50,813 --> 00:57:54,181 - (turn signal beeping) - There's no one behind us. 1317 00:57:54,250 --> 00:57:55,516 You don't have to put your blinker on. 1318 00:57:55,585 --> 00:57:56,952 - Okay, just being safe. - Yeah. 1319 00:58:10,999 --> 00:58:13,868 SIMON: Dear Blue, I hope it goes okay with your dad. 1320 00:58:14,168 --> 00:58:16,670 Whatever happens, you inspired me. 1321 00:58:17,038 --> 00:58:18,839 I came out to my friend tonight. 1322 00:58:18,942 --> 00:58:20,841 And I never would have done that without you. 1323 00:58:20,977 --> 00:58:22,877 Maybe we should ride this bravery train 1324 00:58:22,979 --> 00:58:24,479 and reveal our identities. 1325 00:58:24,981 --> 00:58:27,483 I'm dying to know who you are. Love, Jacques. 1326 00:58:33,957 --> 00:58:35,222 (cell phone vibrating) 1327 00:58:38,394 --> 00:58:40,361 BLUE: I told my dad. 1328 00:58:41,230 --> 00:58:44,932 It was insanely awkward. But also, kind of fine. 1329 00:58:45,834 --> 00:58:47,468 And you got it backwards. 1330 00:58:47,936 --> 00:58:49,803 It's you who inspires me. 1331 00:58:51,641 --> 00:58:52,840 But I'm sorry, 1332 00:58:53,442 --> 00:58:56,109 I'm just not ready for us to know each other's identities. 1333 00:58:56,278 --> 00:58:57,412 Love, Blue. 1334 00:58:59,780 --> 00:59:01,849 (hums the Jaws theme) 1335 00:59:01,918 --> 00:59:04,585 - Hey! What are you doing? - (growls) I'm a fry shark! 1336 00:59:04,785 --> 00:59:06,287 - Yeah! - (laughs) 1337 00:59:08,323 --> 00:59:10,357 - MARTIN: That is good. - ABBY: You're a good fry shark. 1338 00:59:10,425 --> 00:59:11,826 - MARTIN: Thank you, thank you. - ABBY: I like that. 1339 00:59:11,893 --> 00:59:13,093 I didn't even know you were coming near. 1340 00:59:13,161 --> 00:59:14,060 MARTIN: You know what day it is? 1341 00:59:14,361 --> 00:59:15,762 - ABBY: What day is it? - MARTIN: Must be Friday! 1342 00:59:15,830 --> 00:59:16,730 BOTH: Oh! 1343 00:59:17,167 --> 00:59:18,834 I guess I'm being loved, right? Right? 1344 00:59:19,034 --> 00:59:19,733 Yeah. 1345 00:59:20,369 --> 00:59:22,304 Hey, what do you get when you get black and Jewish? 1346 00:59:22,438 --> 00:59:23,338 - What? - Bluish. 1347 00:59:23,905 --> 00:59:25,006 ABBY: That's mean. 1348 00:59:25,073 --> 00:59:25,772 Simon? 1349 00:59:26,140 --> 00:59:28,776 Since when does Abby find Martin so goddamn funny? 1350 00:59:29,543 --> 00:59:30,511 Yeah, it's crazy. 1351 00:59:30,847 --> 00:59:32,080 NICK: You know, this is stupid. 1352 00:59:32,213 --> 00:59:33,880 I'm just gonna tell her that I like her. 1353 00:59:33,947 --> 00:59:34,848 And I've been thinking 1354 00:59:34,949 --> 00:59:35,982 the whole sexual experience thing, 1355 00:59:36,049 --> 00:59:37,185 it's not that big of a deal. 1356 00:59:37,286 --> 00:59:38,687 And, actually, I've been practicing, right? 1357 00:59:38,754 --> 00:59:39,787 I got this thing online. 1358 00:59:39,990 --> 00:59:40,955 It's really cool. It's called a pocket puss... 1359 00:59:41,024 --> 00:59:42,124 Abby likes Martin. 1360 00:59:43,325 --> 00:59:44,324 She told me herself. 1361 00:59:44,759 --> 00:59:46,927 - (scoffs) But he's Martin. - I know. 1362 00:59:48,598 --> 00:59:49,497 NICK: Look, I don't care. 1363 00:59:49,598 --> 00:59:50,865 - I'm gonna try. - Hey, wait, wait. 1364 00:59:50,932 --> 00:59:52,199 What about Leah? 1365 00:59:52,935 --> 00:59:54,168 What about Leah? 1366 00:59:54,871 --> 00:59:55,971 SIMON: Dude. 1367 00:59:58,141 --> 01:00:00,274 - Leah's in love with you. - No, she's not. 1368 01:00:00,575 --> 01:00:01,509 Are you kidding me? 1369 01:00:01,643 --> 01:00:03,109 I mean, come on. The way she looks at you 1370 01:00:03,180 --> 01:00:05,814 and how she's been all jealous ever since Abby's been around? 1371 01:00:05,882 --> 01:00:08,550 And she blushes every time you come into the room. 1372 01:00:10,085 --> 01:00:11,586 Look, you and Abby... 1373 01:00:12,690 --> 01:00:13,923 it's never gonna happen. 1374 01:00:14,490 --> 01:00:15,756 But you and Leah... 1375 01:00:16,459 --> 01:00:18,327 I mean, you could be incredible together. 1376 01:00:29,170 --> 01:00:30,337 - LEAH: Hey. - What's up? 1377 01:00:32,308 --> 01:00:34,108 So I have something to tell you. 1378 01:00:36,011 --> 01:00:37,513 Nick just asked me to get dinner 1379 01:00:37,579 --> 01:00:38,580 before the homecoming game. 1380 01:00:40,215 --> 01:00:41,116 Okay. 1381 01:00:41,782 --> 01:00:43,950 No, like, Si, he was like... 1382 01:00:44,185 --> 01:00:45,352 He came up to me and he's like, 1383 01:00:45,687 --> 01:00:46,688 "Do you wanna go get dinner?" 1384 01:00:46,921 --> 01:00:47,821 All right, and I was like, 1385 01:00:48,124 --> 01:00:49,423 "Sure, are Abby and Simon in?" And he was like 1386 01:00:49,691 --> 01:00:52,961 "I was thinking it could just be the two of us. Like, a date." 1387 01:00:53,995 --> 01:00:55,095 That's amazing. 1388 01:00:56,431 --> 01:00:57,332 It is? 1389 01:00:58,835 --> 01:00:59,934 Yeah. 1390 01:01:00,769 --> 01:01:02,035 Leah, come on. 1391 01:01:05,107 --> 01:01:06,341 I know you're into him. 1392 01:01:06,542 --> 01:01:07,442 (scoffs) What? 1393 01:01:08,011 --> 01:01:09,209 All that stuff that you were talking 1394 01:01:09,276 --> 01:01:10,811 about the night after Bram's party, 1395 01:01:10,878 --> 01:01:13,613 about, you know, being so into one person 1396 01:01:13,682 --> 01:01:15,014 that it almost kills you. 1397 01:01:16,685 --> 01:01:17,986 You were talking about Nick. 1398 01:01:20,488 --> 01:01:21,388 Uh... 1399 01:01:22,156 --> 01:01:24,291 So you think I should go out with him? 1400 01:01:25,295 --> 01:01:27,029 Yes. Yes. 1401 01:01:29,231 --> 01:01:30,131 Okay. 1402 01:01:31,598 --> 01:01:32,299 - SIMON: Yeah? - LEAH: Yeah! 1403 01:01:32,702 --> 01:01:34,101 SIMON: I promise you, you're not gonna regret it. 1404 01:01:34,168 --> 01:01:35,269 It's gonna be great! 1405 01:01:35,971 --> 01:01:37,505 (all cheering) 1406 01:01:38,906 --> 01:01:41,675 Let's pull out your claws, Grizzlies! 1407 01:01:42,279 --> 01:01:45,546 Oh! (laughs) 1408 01:01:50,085 --> 01:01:53,387 Simon, that Almont QB is insanely hot. 1409 01:01:53,921 --> 01:01:55,722 We can talk about stuff like this now, you know. 1410 01:01:55,789 --> 01:01:57,256 Yeah, I still don't know 1411 01:01:57,325 --> 01:01:58,693 if I really quite figured out how. 1412 01:02:00,663 --> 01:02:02,798 - Seriously? - Yeah. 1413 01:02:02,864 --> 01:02:05,798 We gotta practice. All right. Simon. 1414 01:02:06,033 --> 01:02:07,033 - Yeah? - Do you think 1415 01:02:07,336 --> 01:02:12,105 that quarterback is lookin' fine in those hot pants? 1416 01:02:13,543 --> 01:02:14,609 He's lookin' pretty fine. 1417 01:02:16,812 --> 01:02:18,980 No. No. No. 1418 01:02:19,414 --> 01:02:23,051 Fine! Good. Put your body into it. 1419 01:02:23,519 --> 01:02:24,817 Fine! (grunts) 1420 01:02:25,187 --> 01:02:26,121 That was really good. 1421 01:02:26,187 --> 01:02:27,288 - That was so good. - Thanks. 1422 01:02:27,656 --> 01:02:29,623 Hey, check it out. It's the Waffle House guy. 1423 01:02:31,693 --> 01:02:32,592 SIMON: Oh, yeah. 1424 01:02:33,595 --> 01:02:34,495 Whoa. 1425 01:02:35,763 --> 01:02:38,131 - Lyle? - I don't know. Could be. 1426 01:02:38,201 --> 01:02:39,967 - I don't know. - Do you think he's... 1427 01:02:40,035 --> 01:02:41,235 I don't know. 1428 01:02:42,204 --> 01:02:43,537 Okay, well, you should talk to him. 1429 01:02:43,606 --> 01:02:44,605 I'm gonna go get a coffee. 1430 01:02:44,672 --> 01:02:46,239 Look, you are fine! 1431 01:02:46,574 --> 01:02:47,576 (mouthing) You got this. 1432 01:02:48,478 --> 01:02:49,377 Hi. 1433 01:02:50,945 --> 01:02:53,380 Hey. If it isn't my favorite waiter. 1434 01:02:53,582 --> 01:02:56,616 Ah, there he is. The guy who sees everything. 1435 01:02:56,886 --> 01:02:57,853 - Yeah. - (chuckles) 1436 01:02:58,286 --> 01:03:00,086 Hey, I wouldn't have taken you for a homecoming guy. 1437 01:03:00,187 --> 01:03:01,454 Oh, just here for the coffee. 1438 01:03:01,790 --> 01:03:04,123 Of course. Yeah, it's all about the cappuccinos 1439 01:03:04,192 --> 01:03:05,693 and camaraderie for this guy. 1440 01:03:07,027 --> 01:03:09,095 - (clears throat) - (laughs) 1441 01:03:11,866 --> 01:03:12,767 I'm glad you're here. 1442 01:03:13,969 --> 01:03:15,068 You are? 1443 01:03:15,737 --> 01:03:16,637 Yeah. 1444 01:03:17,438 --> 01:03:19,338 'Cause I wanted to ask you something. 1445 01:03:21,042 --> 01:03:22,176 I was gonna ask you the other day 1446 01:03:22,245 --> 01:03:24,711 and then I was, like, too chickenshit. 1447 01:03:27,014 --> 01:03:28,248 What's Abby's deal? 1448 01:03:30,351 --> 01:03:31,884 I know you and her hang out a lot. 1449 01:03:31,953 --> 01:03:33,787 Are the two of you like a thing, or... 1450 01:03:34,789 --> 01:03:35,689 No. 1451 01:03:36,224 --> 01:03:38,124 No, uh, we're just friends. 1452 01:03:38,461 --> 01:03:40,228 I could never be just friends with someone that hot. 1453 01:03:40,295 --> 01:03:40,994 Yeah! 1454 01:03:41,161 --> 01:03:42,397 Every day is a struggle. 1455 01:03:44,196 --> 01:03:46,733 (sighs) I gotta go. I'll see ya. 1456 01:03:50,737 --> 01:03:52,472 MASCOT: Hey! You! 1457 01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:55,740 Little birdie told me you're into bears! 1458 01:03:55,944 --> 01:03:57,279 (growls) 1459 01:03:57,745 --> 01:03:58,645 (mascot laughs) 1460 01:03:59,148 --> 01:04:00,515 Dude! It's me! 1461 01:04:00,949 --> 01:04:02,050 (grunts) 1462 01:04:02,617 --> 01:04:04,217 I'm the Creekwood bear. 1463 01:04:04,988 --> 01:04:05,986 Of course, you are. 1464 01:04:06,055 --> 01:04:07,154 Thank you. 1465 01:04:07,589 --> 01:04:08,390 Not a compliment. 1466 01:04:08,591 --> 01:04:10,757 Hey, um... I figured out my next move with Abby. 1467 01:04:11,124 --> 01:04:12,626 Great, that's good for you, Martin. 1468 01:04:13,362 --> 01:04:15,462 I just wanted to run it by you real quick. 1469 01:04:15,631 --> 01:04:16,964 No, Martin, look. 1470 01:04:17,466 --> 01:04:18,565 I've been helping you for weeks 1471 01:04:18,634 --> 01:04:20,133 and I am sick and tired of helping you 1472 01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:21,167 mess with my friends' lives. 1473 01:04:21,236 --> 01:04:22,302 So why don't you just do that shit 1474 01:04:22,370 --> 01:04:23,670 that you did at Waffle House? 1475 01:04:24,139 --> 01:04:25,038 That went great. 1476 01:04:25,572 --> 01:04:27,107 So you're saying I should go for it? 1477 01:04:27,375 --> 01:04:28,408 It's kind of a big gesture. 1478 01:04:28,476 --> 01:04:30,845 Go big or go home! Right, Martin? 1479 01:04:31,780 --> 01:04:32,847 Go big or go home. 1480 01:04:33,082 --> 01:04:35,450 I like that. Thanks for the pep talk, man! 1481 01:04:36,250 --> 01:04:37,417 Gotta get amped up. 1482 01:04:38,119 --> 01:04:39,886 (grunts) Come on! 1483 01:04:40,222 --> 01:04:41,356 (cheerleaders whooping) 1484 01:04:41,524 --> 01:04:42,924 (marching band playing "Bad Romance") 1485 01:04:43,024 --> 01:04:45,125 (players yelling) 1486 01:04:46,193 --> 01:04:47,360 MR. WORTH: We're gonna take ya! 1487 01:04:47,663 --> 01:04:49,428 (singing to "Bad Romance") ♪ Claw, claw, claw, claw, claw ♪ 1488 01:04:49,497 --> 01:04:51,299 ♪ Claw, claw, claw, Claw, claw ♪ 1489 01:04:56,572 --> 01:04:57,470 AARON: Ethan! 1490 01:04:58,173 --> 01:04:59,707 I didn't know you like football. 1491 01:05:00,109 --> 01:05:01,875 He's just here to check out the packages. 1492 01:05:01,942 --> 01:05:03,075 Didn't your mother ever tell you 1493 01:05:03,143 --> 01:05:05,278 not to grab your micropenis in public? 1494 01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:08,015 Could we get some hummus for that baby carrot? 1495 01:05:08,217 --> 01:05:09,616 - (laughs) - Shut up, man. 1496 01:05:14,289 --> 01:05:16,457 - SIMON: Hey, guys. - What's up? Hey. 1497 01:05:19,860 --> 01:05:21,695 - How was dinner? - It was good. 1498 01:05:22,297 --> 01:05:24,629 Yeah, uh, we got soup dumplings. 1499 01:05:25,265 --> 01:05:27,367 That dumpling place I told you about? 1500 01:05:28,104 --> 01:05:29,003 Yeah. 1501 01:05:29,235 --> 01:05:31,137 You know, maybe you could go with Martin. 1502 01:05:32,942 --> 01:05:34,208 Why would I go with Martin? 1503 01:05:34,910 --> 01:05:38,145 ANNOUNCER: Please stand for the national anthem. 1504 01:05:42,182 --> 01:05:44,283 This goes out to all the refugees. 1505 01:05:45,053 --> 01:05:47,255 And my vocal coach, Monica Lewis. 1506 01:05:47,756 --> 01:05:48,655 MAN: Yeah! 1507 01:05:49,691 --> 01:05:54,726 ♪ O say can you see ♪ 1508 01:05:55,163 --> 01:06:00,599 ♪ By the dawn's early light ♪ 1509 01:06:01,035 --> 01:06:02,836 ♪ What so proud... ♪ 1510 01:06:03,405 --> 01:06:04,739 What the hell are you doing? 1511 01:06:06,507 --> 01:06:07,340 Sorry. Hi. 1512 01:06:07,744 --> 01:06:09,676 Hi, everyone. Uh, sorry to interrupt. 1513 01:06:09,743 --> 01:06:11,444 Why are we interrupting the national anthem? 1514 01:06:11,513 --> 01:06:12,946 MARTIN: But I have something to say... 1515 01:06:13,581 --> 01:06:15,916 that's a little more important than the national anthem. 1516 01:06:16,918 --> 01:06:18,286 No offense, America. 1517 01:06:20,287 --> 01:06:23,223 Abigail Katherine Susso... 1518 01:06:23,757 --> 01:06:26,058 when you transferred to Creekwood High School, 1519 01:06:26,494 --> 01:06:28,696 just a short three and a half months ago, 1520 01:06:29,830 --> 01:06:32,131 you not only transferred into a new school, 1521 01:06:32,533 --> 01:06:35,534 you transferred your way into a new heart 1522 01:06:36,204 --> 01:06:38,938 belonging to me. My heart. Right here. 1523 01:06:39,574 --> 01:06:42,609 And whether it was being your partner in pong, 1524 01:06:43,045 --> 01:06:44,712 or your Waffle House warrior, 1525 01:06:45,747 --> 01:06:46,914 I have cherished... 1526 01:06:47,381 --> 01:06:52,551 the 135,300 minutes that we've spent together. 1527 01:06:53,121 --> 01:06:54,287 Oh, I'm sorry. 1528 01:06:54,890 --> 01:06:58,958 135,301 minutes. 1529 01:06:59,393 --> 01:07:02,395 And I know that you're this smart, talented 1530 01:07:03,232 --> 01:07:04,598 perfect creature. 1531 01:07:05,466 --> 01:07:10,835 And, uh, I'm just a sweaty schlub in a bear costume. 1532 01:07:11,572 --> 01:07:13,442 But like old Bogie used to say, 1533 01:07:14,341 --> 01:07:15,842 it's a "crazy mixed-up world." 1534 01:07:17,145 --> 01:07:18,247 So, Abby, 1535 01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:19,947 without further ado... 1536 01:07:22,217 --> 01:07:23,451 will you go out with me? 1537 01:07:24,886 --> 01:07:26,987 She's too hot for you, assface! 1538 01:07:28,089 --> 01:07:30,357 Excuse me. Sorry. 1539 01:07:33,327 --> 01:07:34,993 Just say yes. Say yes. 1540 01:07:35,163 --> 01:07:36,264 ABBY: Martin... 1541 01:07:37,232 --> 01:07:38,999 I am so sorry. 1542 01:07:40,066 --> 01:07:41,869 I don't feel that way about you. 1543 01:07:43,871 --> 01:07:44,839 You don't? 1544 01:07:46,775 --> 01:07:47,675 No. 1545 01:07:48,177 --> 01:07:49,643 But I really like hanging out with you 1546 01:07:49,711 --> 01:07:53,913 and I don't know, maybe we could still be friends, you know? 1547 01:07:54,382 --> 01:07:55,549 Yeah, uh... 1548 01:07:57,320 --> 01:07:58,619 Are those doves? 1549 01:08:02,223 --> 01:08:03,721 (crowd gasps) 1550 01:08:03,990 --> 01:08:05,659 No, no, hey, hey! Suraj! 1551 01:08:05,827 --> 01:08:08,428 Hey! No, no! She said no! No, don't. 1552 01:08:09,230 --> 01:08:11,364 (crowd laughing) 1553 01:08:16,671 --> 01:08:18,339 Yo, I thought you said she liked him. 1554 01:08:18,871 --> 01:08:23,276 Not the ceremonious dove launch I was hoping for. 1555 01:08:23,578 --> 01:08:26,614 But still uplifting to free some birds. 1556 01:08:27,015 --> 01:08:27,914 Yeah. 1557 01:08:28,748 --> 01:08:29,648 Okay, uh... 1558 01:08:31,086 --> 01:08:32,053 Enjoy the game. 1559 01:08:34,188 --> 01:08:36,222 Nice try, Martin! And way to go, Martin! 1560 01:08:36,291 --> 01:08:38,424 You gave it a shot! Right? 1561 01:08:38,759 --> 01:08:40,393 (all cheering) 1562 01:08:49,537 --> 01:08:50,738 That was terrible. 1563 01:08:51,605 --> 01:08:53,906 Don't worry, people will get over it in a few weeks. 1564 01:08:59,546 --> 01:09:00,647 (glass shattering) 1565 01:09:03,052 --> 01:09:03,984 (bear growls) 1566 01:09:14,694 --> 01:09:15,929 MARTIN (imitating Trump): This is Donald J. Trump. 1567 01:09:16,032 --> 01:09:18,232 Martin Addison can't come to the phone right now. 1568 01:09:18,299 --> 01:09:20,832 Hey, Martin, it's Simon. Again. 1569 01:09:21,001 --> 01:09:24,404 Um, look, I wanna make sure you're doing all right. 1570 01:09:24,472 --> 01:09:26,206 I know it's been tough since, uh... 1571 01:09:27,108 --> 01:09:30,142 Well, you know since when. Um, listen. Just... 1572 01:09:31,278 --> 01:09:32,378 Just give me a call back, okay? 1573 01:09:32,580 --> 01:09:33,980 I just wanna make sure you're okay. 1574 01:09:35,083 --> 01:09:36,083 - (knocking on window) - (yelps) 1575 01:09:36,251 --> 01:09:39,051 Hey! What you doin' in there? 1576 01:09:39,219 --> 01:09:40,119 Really? 1577 01:09:40,687 --> 01:09:42,421 I need you to help me decorate. Untangle these for me, will ya? 1578 01:09:42,425 --> 01:09:43,724 This is not cool. I'll be down in a minute, okay? 1579 01:09:43,825 --> 01:09:45,726 - What's not cool? - I'll be down in a minute. 1580 01:09:45,794 --> 01:09:48,028 The fact that you're on a ladder next to my room! 1581 01:09:48,095 --> 01:09:49,329 I can still clearly see you. 1582 01:09:49,829 --> 01:09:53,865 All right, there you go. Okay. Merry Christmas. 1583 01:09:54,401 --> 01:09:55,502 (computer chimes) 1584 01:09:59,840 --> 01:10:00,539 BLUE: Jacques, 1585 01:10:00,608 --> 01:10:01,809 I'm drinking eggnog and packing 1586 01:10:01,876 --> 01:10:03,409 to go to my dad's cabin on Lake Rabun. 1587 01:10:03,609 --> 01:10:04,576 I'm pretty sure there's a photo of it 1588 01:10:04,879 --> 01:10:07,548 on the Wikipedia page for "middle of nowhere." 1589 01:10:07,916 --> 01:10:09,115 Middle of nowhere. 1590 01:10:09,784 --> 01:10:11,451 I'm going to an unheated vacation house 1591 01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:12,788 in the middle of nowhere. 1592 01:10:14,055 --> 01:10:15,289 Oh, shit. 1593 01:10:15,757 --> 01:10:17,190 BLUE: There's barely electricity 1594 01:10:17,257 --> 01:10:18,456 and definitely no cell service 1595 01:10:18,525 --> 01:10:20,993 so this will be my last email for a while. 1596 01:10:21,494 --> 01:10:23,229 It should be a real rite of passage. 1597 01:10:23,397 --> 01:10:25,029 A dad and his gay son pretending they like 1598 01:10:25,099 --> 01:10:27,367 to fish and trying to find things to talk about. 1599 01:10:27,669 --> 01:10:28,969 It's gonna to be an excruciating two weeks 1600 01:10:29,036 --> 01:10:31,237 without you, Jacques. Love, Blue. 1601 01:10:31,638 --> 01:10:33,039 SIMON: Sounds like you're gonna need some good music. 1602 01:10:33,107 --> 01:10:35,341 So I'm sending a list of the seven best 1603 01:10:35,409 --> 01:10:37,243 Christmas songs of all time. 1604 01:10:37,545 --> 01:10:39,113 Of course it includes David Bowie's 1605 01:10:39,179 --> 01:10:39,912 "Little Drummer Boy," 1606 01:10:40,114 --> 01:10:41,615 and Smokey Robinson & The Miracles' 1607 01:10:41,681 --> 01:10:42,749 "Christmas Everyday," 1608 01:10:42,917 --> 01:10:44,483 but the number one song you're gonna need, 1609 01:10:44,551 --> 01:10:45,920 and trust me, I know this sounds 1610 01:10:45,987 --> 01:10:46,987 a little bit twee... 1611 01:10:47,523 --> 01:10:48,921 ("Someday at Christmas" playing) 1612 01:10:48,988 --> 01:10:53,258 ♪ Someday at Christmas Men won't be boys ♪ 1613 01:10:53,661 --> 01:10:57,731 ♪ Playing with bombs Like kids play with toys ♪ 1614 01:10:57,999 --> 01:11:01,367 ♪ One warm December Our hearts will see ♪ 1615 01:11:01,703 --> 01:11:06,139 ♪ A world where men are free Ooh ♪ 1616 01:11:06,208 --> 01:11:10,576 ♪ Someday at Christmas There'll be no wars ♪ 1617 01:11:10,879 --> 01:11:14,848 ♪ When we have learned What Christmas is for ♪ 1618 01:11:15,116 --> 01:11:18,551 ♪ When we have found What life's really worth ♪ 1619 01:11:18,886 --> 01:11:22,254 ♪ There'll be peace on Earth ♪ 1620 01:11:23,156 --> 01:11:27,626 ♪ Someday all our dreams Will come to be ♪ 1621 01:11:27,863 --> 01:11:31,699 ♪ Someday in a world Where men are free ♪ 1622 01:11:32,167 --> 01:11:35,735 ♪ Maybe not in time For you and me ♪ 1623 01:11:35,869 --> 01:11:39,971 ♪ But someday At Christmas time ♪ 1624 01:11:40,674 --> 01:11:44,542 ♪ Someday at Christmas We'll see a land... ♪ 1625 01:11:44,610 --> 01:11:47,546 (cell phone ringing) 1626 01:11:50,284 --> 01:11:52,051 - Si, have you seen it? - Hey. 1627 01:11:52,586 --> 01:11:53,685 Seen what? 1628 01:11:54,153 --> 01:11:55,053 CreekSecrets. 1629 01:11:55,957 --> 01:11:57,858 You need to look at your computer right away. 1630 01:12:00,829 --> 01:12:02,730 MARTIN: Dear fellow Creekwood students, 1631 01:12:02,897 --> 01:12:05,531 Simon Spier has a secret male pen pal. 1632 01:12:05,601 --> 01:12:06,767 Because he's gay. 1633 01:12:07,134 --> 01:12:09,502 Interested parties may contact him directly 1634 01:12:09,569 --> 01:12:11,505 to discuss arrangements for butt sex. 1635 01:12:11,806 --> 01:12:13,639 Ladies need not apply. 1636 01:12:14,141 --> 01:12:16,175 We should all probably be talking about this 1637 01:12:16,243 --> 01:12:18,477 instead of Martin Addison's homecoming debacle 1638 01:12:18,879 --> 01:12:20,647 which was actually kind of sweet, 1639 01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:22,881 and romantic, if you think about it. 1640 01:12:23,383 --> 01:12:25,285 Sincerely, Anonymous. 1641 01:12:31,726 --> 01:12:34,194 LEAH: Si, have you read it? 1642 01:12:34,528 --> 01:12:35,594 SIMON: I can't talk right now. 1643 01:12:35,762 --> 01:12:37,297 - LEAH: No. Si, wait! - I gotta go. 1644 01:12:38,365 --> 01:12:39,264 Si? 1645 01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:40,700 I saw it. 1646 01:12:41,368 --> 01:12:44,169 I already reported it. They're gonna take it down. 1647 01:12:44,371 --> 01:12:45,605 It's too late. No, there's people 1648 01:12:45,673 --> 01:12:47,040 who've already seen it, so... 1649 01:12:47,440 --> 01:12:48,339 it doesn't really matter. 1650 01:12:50,512 --> 01:12:51,613 It's true. 1651 01:12:54,881 --> 01:12:55,782 I'm gay. 1652 01:12:56,515 --> 01:12:57,616 Oh... 1653 01:12:58,185 --> 01:12:59,586 So what are you gonna do? 1654 01:13:00,654 --> 01:13:01,755 I don't know. 1655 01:13:02,255 --> 01:13:03,221 You could deny it. 1656 01:13:04,025 --> 01:13:05,759 Why the hell would I deny it, Nora? 1657 01:13:05,826 --> 01:13:07,327 I'm not ashamed of it. 1658 01:13:07,562 --> 01:13:09,829 You've just never really said anything. 1659 01:13:09,963 --> 01:13:10,663 So what? 1660 01:13:10,897 --> 01:13:11,964 What does that have to do with anything? 1661 01:13:12,033 --> 01:13:13,465 What the hell are you talking about? 1662 01:13:13,533 --> 01:13:14,834 (sobbing) Sorry. 1663 01:13:20,939 --> 01:13:22,040 SIMON: I know you're going off the grid 1664 01:13:22,109 --> 01:13:23,575 and you won't see this until you're back, 1665 01:13:23,643 --> 01:13:24,643 but something's happened. 1666 01:13:25,179 --> 01:13:26,880 You're gonna find out who I am. 1667 01:13:27,314 --> 01:13:28,815 And someone posted our emails. 1668 01:13:28,982 --> 01:13:31,617 Please don't freak out. Please, Blue. 1669 01:13:31,953 --> 01:13:34,119 I need you to promise me you won't disappear. 1670 01:13:36,190 --> 01:13:37,357 (computer chiming) 1671 01:13:42,063 --> 01:13:43,696 - (cell phone vibrating) - (exhales) 1672 01:14:09,924 --> 01:14:11,090 NORA: Mum, let me open my present. 1673 01:14:11,457 --> 01:14:14,092 EMILY: Honey, I'm trying to tell you you need to shave. 1674 01:14:14,928 --> 01:14:16,328 JACK: Does that mean you're gonna keep cooking? 1675 01:14:16,397 --> 01:14:18,464 NORA: Yeah, of course. I can make dinner tonight, too. 1676 01:14:18,531 --> 01:14:19,463 - JACK: Awesome. - What's this for? 1677 01:14:19,531 --> 01:14:20,432 Oh! 1678 01:14:20,868 --> 01:14:22,803 This one, Sherlock. There you go. 1679 01:14:28,207 --> 01:14:29,207 NORA: What is it? 1680 01:14:30,611 --> 01:14:31,912 Bluetooth headphones. 1681 01:14:31,979 --> 01:14:33,646 - Do you like the black? - Oh, I love it. 1682 01:14:33,981 --> 01:14:35,280 EMILY: Because I didn't know if you liked... 1683 01:14:35,349 --> 01:14:36,049 This is great. 1684 01:14:36,351 --> 01:14:37,451 - They have other colors. - He said he likes it. 1685 01:14:37,818 --> 01:14:39,016 - SIMON: No, I love it. - Okay. I have the receipt. 1686 01:14:39,018 --> 01:14:39,886 He's good. 1687 01:14:46,394 --> 01:14:49,796 Actually, I did want to talk to you guys about something. 1688 01:14:51,096 --> 01:14:51,997 What is it? 1689 01:14:54,100 --> 01:14:55,201 Uh, well... 1690 01:14:55,301 --> 01:14:56,202 JACK: Let me guess... 1691 01:14:57,972 --> 01:14:59,237 you got somebody pregnant. 1692 01:15:00,606 --> 01:15:01,506 No, you're pregnant. 1693 01:15:01,977 --> 01:15:04,544 - Yeah. Yeah, I'm pregnant. - JACK: (chuckles) I knew it. 1694 01:15:04,610 --> 01:15:05,644 He's got that glow about him, baby. 1695 01:15:05,713 --> 01:15:06,612 EMILY: Honey. 1696 01:15:06,680 --> 01:15:07,815 No. Uh... 1697 01:15:14,054 --> 01:15:14,953 I'm gay. 1698 01:15:17,258 --> 01:15:18,156 Honey. 1699 01:15:21,062 --> 01:15:23,296 And I don't want you guys to think anything different. 1700 01:15:24,263 --> 01:15:25,163 I'm still me. 1701 01:15:25,231 --> 01:15:26,231 Of course you are. 1702 01:15:26,299 --> 01:15:27,801 - Oh, Simon. - Yeah. 1703 01:15:28,703 --> 01:15:29,602 So you're gay? 1704 01:15:30,471 --> 01:15:32,172 Which one of your old girlfriends turned ya? 1705 01:15:32,239 --> 01:15:34,038 Was it the one with the big eyebrow... 1706 01:15:34,108 --> 01:15:35,175 - Jack. - NORA: Jesus Christ. 1707 01:15:35,242 --> 01:15:36,742 Dad, can you ever shut the hell up? 1708 01:15:36,810 --> 01:15:37,710 I'm kidding. 1709 01:15:37,845 --> 01:15:39,011 - It's not funny. - I'm kidding, Nora. 1710 01:15:39,080 --> 01:15:41,014 Just open up your gift. Please. 1711 01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:47,521 EMILY: It's okay, honey. 1712 01:15:47,589 --> 01:15:48,855 - Nora, I got you this. - NORA: Simon. 1713 01:15:48,922 --> 01:15:50,322 That's for you. No, that's for you. 1714 01:15:50,390 --> 01:15:51,289 That's from me. 1715 01:15:56,764 --> 01:15:57,898 It's a Cuisinart. 1716 01:15:59,064 --> 01:16:00,933 I love it. Thank you, Simon. 1717 01:16:04,737 --> 01:16:07,406 SIMON: Dear Blue, happy New Year. 1718 01:16:07,608 --> 01:16:08,775 I haven't heard from you, 1719 01:16:09,008 --> 01:16:11,344 so I'm going to assume it's because you have no service. 1720 01:16:11,945 --> 01:16:14,212 I came out to my entire family on Christmas. 1721 01:16:14,715 --> 01:16:15,649 It didn't go great. 1722 01:16:15,983 --> 01:16:17,115 And I've been avoiding my friends 1723 01:16:17,182 --> 01:16:20,085 the whole break for all sorts of reasons. 1724 01:16:20,720 --> 01:16:22,054 Change is exhausting. 1725 01:16:22,422 --> 01:16:23,789 I feel like there's nowhere to hide 1726 01:16:23,857 --> 01:16:25,890 from all the newness of everything. 1727 01:16:26,360 --> 01:16:27,561 Except here. With you. 1728 01:16:28,328 --> 01:16:29,262 Please write to me. 1729 01:16:29,797 --> 01:16:32,098 As soon as you get even one bar of service. 1730 01:16:33,300 --> 01:16:34,267 Breakfast burrito? 1731 01:16:35,302 --> 01:16:36,202 Thanks. 1732 01:16:36,369 --> 01:16:37,336 EMILY: Hey, Si. 1733 01:16:39,608 --> 01:16:40,574 Come sit down. 1734 01:16:43,343 --> 01:16:44,242 I'm gonna be late. 1735 01:17:00,161 --> 01:17:01,127 (sighs) 1736 01:17:16,276 --> 01:17:17,176 Hey, guys. 1737 01:17:17,710 --> 01:17:18,977 Hey, Simon, we need to talk. 1738 01:17:19,913 --> 01:17:22,582 So Abby and I hung out on New Year's Eve, and... 1739 01:17:23,850 --> 01:17:24,750 you see, now we're together. 1740 01:17:24,985 --> 01:17:26,920 That's awesome. That's great. 1741 01:17:26,988 --> 01:17:27,886 NICK: Yeah, it is. 1742 01:17:28,688 --> 01:17:31,022 But then we got to talking about why it took so long. 1743 01:17:31,992 --> 01:17:33,092 ABBY: Why did you tell Nick that I have 1744 01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:34,693 a boyfriend in college named Jonathan? 1745 01:17:34,762 --> 01:17:36,396 - Why'd you make that up? - Look, Martin... 1746 01:17:36,830 --> 01:17:37,964 he was the one who wrote 1747 01:17:38,030 --> 01:17:39,597 that CreekSecrets post about me. 1748 01:17:40,033 --> 01:17:41,566 He screenshotted my emails 1749 01:17:41,668 --> 01:17:44,636 and he's been using them to blackmail me for months. 1750 01:17:45,172 --> 01:17:47,140 What does that have to do with us, Simon? 1751 01:17:47,974 --> 01:17:49,074 He told me that if I didn't help him 1752 01:17:49,139 --> 01:17:51,276 get with Abby, he'd out me. 1753 01:17:54,246 --> 01:17:55,146 And I... 1754 01:17:56,015 --> 01:17:57,650 That's why I had to keep you guys apart. 1755 01:17:57,718 --> 01:17:59,252 So you made up a bunch of lies. 1756 01:18:00,855 --> 01:18:01,788 And that's why you convinced me 1757 01:18:01,856 --> 01:18:02,821 to go on that date with Leah? 1758 01:18:03,323 --> 01:18:04,757 You know, to keep me away from Abby? 1759 01:18:04,926 --> 01:18:06,927 So, wait. Running lines at Waffle House 1760 01:18:06,993 --> 01:18:08,693 and beer pong at Bram's, 1761 01:18:08,862 --> 01:18:11,195 all of that was just to pawn me off on Martin? 1762 01:18:11,864 --> 01:18:13,531 I'm not a piece of meat, Simon. 1763 01:18:14,334 --> 01:18:16,434 You know how hard it was for me to start over. 1764 01:18:18,705 --> 01:18:19,972 I trusted you. 1765 01:18:20,508 --> 01:18:21,575 (sighs) 1766 01:18:24,211 --> 01:18:25,979 Hey, come on, Leah. I'll take you to school. 1767 01:18:32,118 --> 01:18:34,886 Leah. Leah, please. Listen, listen. 1768 01:18:35,020 --> 01:18:36,287 I know I messed up, okay? 1769 01:18:36,357 --> 01:18:37,790 But I knew you were in love with Nick. 1770 01:18:37,858 --> 01:18:39,625 - And I thought that maybe... - Just stop it! 1771 01:18:40,594 --> 01:18:42,428 You know what? You are insanely stupid, Simon. 1772 01:18:42,496 --> 01:18:45,697 I was never in love with Nick. I was in love with you! 1773 01:18:47,401 --> 01:18:48,301 (gasps) 1774 01:18:49,269 --> 01:18:50,168 Look... 1775 01:18:51,437 --> 01:18:53,205 We're... We're us. 1776 01:18:53,406 --> 01:18:54,506 Yeah, well... 1777 01:18:55,009 --> 01:18:57,010 (sighs) Sorry. 1778 01:18:59,277 --> 01:19:00,946 I've been trying to tell you. 1779 01:19:02,383 --> 01:19:06,384 That night I slept over, I was trying to tell you. 1780 01:19:09,021 --> 01:19:10,789 You wanna know the funniest part? 1781 01:19:11,592 --> 01:19:13,959 It's that all these years, you being so picky with girls, 1782 01:19:14,025 --> 01:19:16,094 I thought that maybe it was 1783 01:19:16,162 --> 01:19:18,295 because you might like me, too. 1784 01:19:18,898 --> 01:19:20,265 And then, you know, you told me 1785 01:19:20,332 --> 01:19:21,232 I should go out with Nick 1786 01:19:21,734 --> 01:19:23,468 and I realized you were just never gonna see me that way. 1787 01:19:24,870 --> 01:19:27,138 I can deal with you being gay, Si. 1788 01:19:27,940 --> 01:19:29,475 But you set me up to get my heart broken 1789 01:19:29,543 --> 01:19:30,976 when you thought I was in love with Nick 1790 01:19:31,044 --> 01:19:32,578 and that just makes you cruel. 1791 01:19:38,417 --> 01:19:41,019 - (car engine starts) - (Simon sighs) 1792 01:19:46,993 --> 01:19:50,562 (students murmuring) 1793 01:20:02,609 --> 01:20:03,508 You all right? 1794 01:20:03,778 --> 01:20:04,678 Hanging in there. 1795 01:20:05,246 --> 01:20:07,214 Uh, for the record, 1796 01:20:07,281 --> 01:20:09,882 when I was saying that we have a lot in common, you know, 1797 01:20:09,950 --> 01:20:12,219 I wasn't really... That's not what I was talking about. 1798 01:20:12,685 --> 01:20:13,584 Gotcha. 1799 01:20:14,088 --> 01:20:15,288 Just FYI, just for the record. 1800 01:20:15,355 --> 01:20:16,757 - SIMON: Okay, great. Thanks. - All right. 1801 01:20:27,533 --> 01:20:28,767 Hey, Jackie. 1802 01:20:29,001 --> 01:20:29,968 Did you date me 1803 01:20:30,070 --> 01:20:31,504 because you think I look like a guy? 1804 01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:34,440 No. No, I actually broke up with you 1805 01:20:34,507 --> 01:20:36,241 because you don't look like a guy. 1806 01:20:36,642 --> 01:20:39,811 Oh. Oh, okay. Thanks. 1807 01:20:40,480 --> 01:20:41,380 Welcome. 1808 01:20:53,326 --> 01:20:54,293 (sighs) 1809 01:20:54,460 --> 01:20:56,429 (rap music playing on phone) 1810 01:20:56,595 --> 01:20:58,128 Yeah! Hey, Creekwood! 1811 01:21:00,633 --> 01:21:02,200 This one's for you, Spier. 1812 01:21:03,802 --> 01:21:04,836 Hey, Ethan. 1813 01:21:05,671 --> 01:21:06,806 - Oh, yeah! - Oh, yeah. 1814 01:21:11,010 --> 01:21:12,543 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 1815 01:21:12,613 --> 01:21:14,647 You like that, don't you, Spier? 1816 01:21:15,883 --> 01:21:18,750 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah, Ethan, Simon likey. 1817 01:21:18,984 --> 01:21:21,719 (Aaron and Spencer moaning) 1818 01:21:23,222 --> 01:21:24,589 You have something you wanna say to me? 1819 01:21:26,293 --> 01:21:27,759 I said do you have something to say to me? 1820 01:21:27,827 --> 01:21:28,994 (turns off music) 1821 01:21:29,061 --> 01:21:30,795 - I'll take it from here. - Hey, Ms. Albright. 1822 01:21:31,029 --> 01:21:32,197 Don't "Hey, Ms. Albright" me. 1823 01:21:32,265 --> 01:21:33,430 We're not friends. You're not gonna 1824 01:21:33,500 --> 01:21:35,068 braid my hair or paint my nails. 1825 01:21:35,135 --> 01:21:36,702 Get your ass off the table now! 1826 01:21:36,871 --> 01:21:39,171 You sweaty, hormonal virgins. 1827 01:21:39,504 --> 01:21:41,507 You know what? You're about to be suspended for so long, 1828 01:21:41,776 --> 01:21:43,375 that by the time it's over, you're gonna be 1829 01:21:43,476 --> 01:21:45,844 the fat, bald, unhappily married 1830 01:21:45,913 --> 01:21:49,213 wildly mediocre nobodies you're destined to become. 1831 01:21:49,282 --> 01:21:50,748 You can't talk to us like that. 1832 01:21:50,984 --> 01:21:52,450 Actually, I can, 'cause I just did. 1833 01:21:52,618 --> 01:21:54,318 And you know why? Because you're just those two 1834 01:21:54,388 --> 01:21:55,755 assholes that did that shitty thing 1835 01:21:55,854 --> 01:21:58,555 in front of the whole school. And guess what? 1836 01:21:58,924 --> 01:22:02,059 Nobody feels sorry for those assholes, especially me. 1837 01:22:02,594 --> 01:22:04,896 Now, walk. Mr. Worth's office now. 1838 01:22:04,963 --> 01:22:05,864 Bye. 1839 01:22:06,834 --> 01:22:08,033 Uh-uh. That's mine now. 1840 01:22:08,468 --> 01:22:10,803 I'mma sell it. Get my tubes tied. 1841 01:22:11,372 --> 01:22:13,806 (scattered laughter and chatter) 1842 01:22:24,316 --> 01:22:26,517 (inaudible conversation) 1843 01:22:27,286 --> 01:22:29,521 Why does Mr. Worth have to talk to us? 1844 01:22:30,455 --> 01:22:32,257 I mean, can't we just let this shit go? 1845 01:22:35,863 --> 01:22:37,230 Hey, I'm sorry, Ethan. 1846 01:22:39,466 --> 01:22:41,934 None of this ever happened when just you were out. 1847 01:22:43,634 --> 01:22:45,503 You know what they say, one gay's a snooze, 1848 01:22:45,572 --> 01:22:47,406 two's a hilarious hate crime. 1849 01:22:52,578 --> 01:22:54,480 You could've told me you were gay. 1850 01:22:56,849 --> 01:22:58,549 I guess I didn't think we had very much in common. 1851 01:22:58,685 --> 01:23:00,686 (scoffs) You're telling me, Simon. 1852 01:23:00,753 --> 01:23:02,553 It's not like your all-hoodie wardrobe 1853 01:23:02,621 --> 01:23:03,722 rocks my world. 1854 01:23:04,057 --> 01:23:05,256 (Simon chuckles) 1855 01:23:10,129 --> 01:23:11,230 I don't know. 1856 01:23:11,866 --> 01:23:13,199 Maybe I was jealous. 1857 01:23:14,301 --> 01:23:15,767 You've been out since you were 16. 1858 01:23:18,270 --> 01:23:20,005 It always seemed so easy for you. 1859 01:23:20,239 --> 01:23:21,340 Easy? 1860 01:23:22,074 --> 01:23:23,308 Are you kidding me? 1861 01:23:26,046 --> 01:23:27,912 My mom still tells my grandparents 1862 01:23:27,979 --> 01:23:29,280 about all the girls I'm dating 1863 01:23:29,381 --> 01:23:32,351 when we go over to their house for dinner, every Sunday. 1864 01:23:33,253 --> 01:23:35,652 She says it's 'cause they're old and religious, 1865 01:23:36,155 --> 01:23:37,655 and it's just easier that way. 1866 01:23:39,159 --> 01:23:40,525 I don't know, maybe that's true. 1867 01:23:41,526 --> 01:23:44,394 But you should hear her voice when she talks about the girls. 1868 01:23:50,001 --> 01:23:51,769 All right, boys, come on in. 1869 01:23:52,839 --> 01:23:53,739 Come on. 1870 01:23:55,174 --> 01:23:56,574 All right, just stand right here. 1871 01:23:56,843 --> 01:23:57,742 (speaks French) 1872 01:23:59,177 --> 01:24:00,278 Get up. 1873 01:24:03,614 --> 01:24:05,015 Okay, these gentlemen have something 1874 01:24:05,085 --> 01:24:06,217 that they would like to say to you. 1875 01:24:06,586 --> 01:24:08,252 - We're sorry. - Our bad. 1876 01:24:08,486 --> 01:24:10,287 That's right. 'Cause at Creekwood High, 1877 01:24:10,355 --> 01:24:11,290 what do we believe in? 1878 01:24:11,392 --> 01:24:12,291 BOTH: Tolerance. 1879 01:24:12,624 --> 01:24:14,759 And "tolerance" means we respect 1880 01:24:14,826 --> 01:24:16,593 Simon and Ethan's choice to be boyfriends. 1881 01:24:16,662 --> 01:24:18,362 - We are not boyfriends. - Yeah. No. 1882 01:24:18,664 --> 01:24:20,265 Hey, whatever you wanna call it, 1883 01:24:20,333 --> 01:24:21,433 it's fine with me. Seriously. 1884 01:24:21,534 --> 01:24:23,601 We call it "two people 1885 01:24:23,671 --> 01:24:25,437 that are not at all romantically involved." 1886 01:24:25,506 --> 01:24:26,940 Yeah, I get it. Keepin' it casual, man. 1887 01:24:27,006 --> 01:24:28,339 I can dig, seriously. 1888 01:24:30,143 --> 01:24:32,943 Oh. Simon. Hey, can we talk? 1889 01:24:33,545 --> 01:24:34,579 I don't have anything to say to you. 1890 01:24:34,647 --> 01:24:36,381 Please, please. I just wanted to say 1891 01:24:36,447 --> 01:24:37,348 that I was sorry, okay? 1892 01:24:37,416 --> 01:24:39,183 I didn't know or think 1893 01:24:39,251 --> 01:24:40,451 that people still did shit like that. 1894 01:24:40,585 --> 01:24:42,154 And I got in a lot of shit for Homecoming, 1895 01:24:42,223 --> 01:24:44,656 and I wanted everyone to focus on something else, you know? 1896 01:24:44,723 --> 01:24:46,290 I just didn't think it was gonna be a big thing. 1897 01:24:46,491 --> 01:24:48,192 I don't care if you didn't think that my coming out 1898 01:24:48,261 --> 01:24:49,795 was gonna be a big thing, Martin. 1899 01:24:51,131 --> 01:24:52,298 Look, you don't get to decide that. 1900 01:24:52,697 --> 01:24:55,066 I'm supposed to be the one that decides when 1901 01:24:55,134 --> 01:24:56,835 and where, and how and who knows 1902 01:24:56,903 --> 01:24:57,736 and how I get to say it. 1903 01:24:57,804 --> 01:24:59,338 That's supposed to be my thing! 1904 01:24:59,437 --> 01:25:01,039 And you took that away from me. 1905 01:25:02,209 --> 01:25:04,910 So, well, can you please just get the fuck away from me? 1906 01:25:14,184 --> 01:25:15,085 (sighs) 1907 01:25:27,967 --> 01:25:28,866 (computer chimes) 1908 01:25:36,909 --> 01:25:39,978 BLUE: I saw the posts. I know who you are. 1909 01:25:40,979 --> 01:25:41,679 Jacques a Dit. 1910 01:25:41,983 --> 01:25:44,050 That's what they call Simon Says in France. 1911 01:25:44,416 --> 01:25:45,383 Very clever. 1912 01:25:45,852 --> 01:25:48,419 I'm sorry, Simon. I can't do this anymore. 1913 01:25:48,487 --> 01:25:50,321 - SIMON: Please, Blue. - BLUE: I'm so sorry. 1914 01:25:50,624 --> 01:25:53,425 SIMON: You can't leave me alone. Everything's falling apart. 1915 01:25:55,962 --> 01:25:57,362 (takes deep breath) 1916 01:26:23,423 --> 01:26:24,756 (sobbing) 1917 01:26:45,577 --> 01:26:46,644 I mean, I haven't even talked to her. 1918 01:26:46,712 --> 01:26:48,080 I haven't even seen her at school. 1919 01:26:50,415 --> 01:26:52,283 Anyway, I guess I'll see you in class, right? 1920 01:26:52,348 --> 01:26:53,548 - GIRL: Yeah, totally. - CAL: Okay. 1921 01:26:53,752 --> 01:26:54,652 Later. 1922 01:26:55,923 --> 01:26:57,756 - Hey. - Hey, Simon. 1923 01:27:00,360 --> 01:27:01,461 Is it you? 1924 01:27:03,496 --> 01:27:04,596 Are you Blue? 1925 01:27:05,463 --> 01:27:08,832 No. No, it's not me. Sorry. 1926 01:27:12,338 --> 01:27:13,972 I know you've had a crazy couple days. 1927 01:27:14,040 --> 01:27:15,041 You wanna talk about it? 1928 01:27:15,275 --> 01:27:17,374 No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. 1929 01:27:17,708 --> 01:27:19,643 - No, don't worry. - Sorry for bothering you. 1930 01:27:39,331 --> 01:27:40,499 [door closes] 1931 01:28:00,853 --> 01:28:01,753 Did you know? 1932 01:28:07,359 --> 01:28:09,060 I knew you had a secret. 1933 01:28:14,134 --> 01:28:16,870 I mean, when you were little, you were so carefree. 1934 01:28:18,137 --> 01:28:22,572 But these last few years, more and more... 1935 01:28:24,042 --> 01:28:26,843 it's almost like I could feel you holding your breath. 1936 01:28:34,586 --> 01:28:36,522 I wanted to ask you about it, but I... 1937 01:28:37,421 --> 01:28:39,055 didn't wanna pry. 1938 01:28:42,094 --> 01:28:45,796 - Maybe I made a mistake. - No. No, Mom, you... 1939 01:28:47,565 --> 01:28:48,932 You didn't make a mistake. 1940 01:28:53,337 --> 01:28:55,372 EMILY: Being gay is your thing. 1941 01:28:56,173 --> 01:28:59,276 There are parts of it you have to go through alone. 1942 01:28:59,880 --> 01:29:00,880 I hate that. 1943 01:29:02,147 --> 01:29:05,182 As soon as you came out, you said, "Mom, I'm still me." 1944 01:29:09,120 --> 01:29:10,556 I need you to hear this. 1945 01:29:12,691 --> 01:29:15,260 You are still you, Simon. 1946 01:29:17,596 --> 01:29:22,363 And you are still the same son who I love to tease, 1947 01:29:23,267 --> 01:29:26,871 and who your father depends on for just about everything. 1948 01:29:27,539 --> 01:29:28,839 And you're the same brother 1949 01:29:29,139 --> 01:29:32,108 who always compliments his sister on her food, 1950 01:29:32,177 --> 01:29:34,111 even when it sucks. 1951 01:29:37,749 --> 01:29:40,118 But you get to exhale now, Simon. 1952 01:29:42,087 --> 01:29:45,656 You get to be more you than you have been... 1953 01:29:47,759 --> 01:29:49,660 in a very long time. 1954 01:29:56,869 --> 01:29:58,903 You deserve everything you want. 1955 01:30:13,617 --> 01:30:14,718 My boy. 1956 01:30:31,536 --> 01:30:33,136 Hey, Leah. 1957 01:30:33,470 --> 01:30:34,437 - Hey. - What's up? 1958 01:30:34,873 --> 01:30:35,973 What are you doing? 1959 01:30:36,744 --> 01:30:38,276 Just going for a run, you know. 1960 01:30:39,177 --> 01:30:41,412 - Daily ritual. - Yeah, you've never done that. 1961 01:30:42,346 --> 01:30:43,246 Have too. 1962 01:30:43,748 --> 01:30:45,117 But you're wearing jeans. 1963 01:30:46,685 --> 01:30:47,617 They're my running jeans. 1964 01:30:47,685 --> 01:30:49,418 Simon, you're about to pass out. 1965 01:30:50,221 --> 01:30:52,122 (panting) Okay, fine. I'm not going for a run. 1966 01:30:53,392 --> 01:30:55,093 Hey, Leah. Please, listen. 1967 01:30:55,161 --> 01:30:56,261 Look, I know, okay? 1968 01:30:56,330 --> 01:30:57,896 You didn't want anyone to know you're gay. 1969 01:30:57,963 --> 01:30:59,364 No, that wasn't just it. 1970 01:31:02,901 --> 01:31:04,270 I fell in love with someone. 1971 01:31:05,805 --> 01:31:07,238 That guy in the emails... 1972 01:31:09,241 --> 01:31:10,141 I love him. 1973 01:31:11,211 --> 01:31:13,611 And I knew that if Martin leaked our emails, 1974 01:31:13,678 --> 01:31:14,879 it'd scare him off. 1975 01:31:16,116 --> 01:31:17,015 I'm sorry. 1976 01:31:19,785 --> 01:31:21,285 I know what I did was messed up. 1977 01:31:25,223 --> 01:31:26,123 You're my best friend. 1978 01:31:26,557 --> 01:31:27,457 If I'm your best friend, 1979 01:31:27,792 --> 01:31:29,192 then why did you come out to Abby and not me? 1980 01:31:32,264 --> 01:31:33,163 Think it was easier. 1981 01:31:35,001 --> 01:31:36,636 I've known Abby for six months, 1982 01:31:37,201 --> 01:31:40,271 and I've known you for 13 years. 1983 01:31:42,606 --> 01:31:43,807 And I knew that if I told you, 1984 01:31:43,875 --> 01:31:45,877 that everything was gonna be different. 1985 01:31:47,812 --> 01:31:49,914 I really wanted things to stay the same. 1986 01:31:54,519 --> 01:31:56,153 Tell me about this guy you love. 1987 01:32:00,292 --> 01:32:01,759 - You sure? - Yeah. 1988 01:32:02,361 --> 01:32:04,562 It'll help me kill off Hetero Simon in my mind. 1989 01:32:05,196 --> 01:32:07,763 - You don't have to kill him off. - He's dead, Si. 1990 01:32:08,133 --> 01:32:10,302 Hacking him up with a mental machete as we speak. 1991 01:32:11,503 --> 01:32:12,601 (chuckles) 1992 01:32:12,970 --> 01:32:15,005 All right. Fair enough. 1993 01:32:17,841 --> 01:32:19,042 So, I call him Blue. 1994 01:32:29,620 --> 01:32:30,855 Hey, Si. 1995 01:32:33,025 --> 01:32:33,925 Yeah? 1996 01:32:39,430 --> 01:32:40,396 (sighs) 1997 01:32:44,669 --> 01:32:45,870 How long have you known? 1998 01:32:48,139 --> 01:32:51,976 Like, I really started to get it when I was around... 1999 01:32:54,245 --> 01:32:55,145 thirteen? 2000 01:32:55,446 --> 01:32:57,113 Four years? Four years of... 2001 01:32:58,916 --> 01:32:59,883 eating dinner together, 2002 01:33:00,052 --> 01:33:01,487 four years of going to movies together. 2003 01:33:01,622 --> 01:33:04,389 Four years of walking Bieber together. 2004 01:33:06,794 --> 01:33:07,893 I'm sorry. 2005 01:33:08,760 --> 01:33:10,094 I shouldn't have missed it. 2006 01:33:10,463 --> 01:33:12,263 No. Hey, no, Dad. 2007 01:33:12,396 --> 01:33:13,563 All those stupid jokes... 2008 01:33:14,633 --> 01:33:15,632 Well, I know you didn't mean 'em. 2009 01:33:15,869 --> 01:33:17,302 It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have missed it. 2010 01:33:21,472 --> 01:33:22,371 But... 2011 01:33:22,907 --> 01:33:25,176 in case the message got lost somewhere I just... 2012 01:33:26,845 --> 01:33:28,879 I just want you to know that I love you. 2013 01:33:30,982 --> 01:33:32,415 (crying) And I'm really proud of you. 2014 01:33:33,919 --> 01:33:36,087 I wouldn't change anything about you. 2015 01:33:39,225 --> 01:33:40,424 Hey. Shit, Dad. 2016 01:33:43,426 --> 01:33:44,327 Hey, stop crying. 2017 01:33:44,561 --> 01:33:46,363 I'm trying. I'm trying. 2018 01:33:47,565 --> 01:33:48,599 Oh, God. 2019 01:33:51,202 --> 01:33:52,101 Come here. 2020 01:34:01,945 --> 01:34:03,546 How's that video for Mom coming? 2021 01:34:03,913 --> 01:34:05,349 - Good. - Good, good. 2022 01:34:05,418 --> 01:34:06,319 Good. 2023 01:34:09,121 --> 01:34:10,186 You don't know how to export it, do you? 2024 01:34:10,255 --> 01:34:11,422 Can you help me with that, please? 2025 01:34:11,489 --> 01:34:12,388 Yeah. 2026 01:34:12,825 --> 01:34:13,925 - Okay. - Let's go. 2027 01:34:14,426 --> 01:34:15,326 Hey. 2028 01:34:15,992 --> 01:34:18,260 I thought maybe we could sign up for Grindr together. 2029 01:34:19,331 --> 01:34:21,099 You don't know what Grindr is, do you? 2030 01:34:22,031 --> 01:34:24,067 It's Facebook for gay people. 2031 01:34:24,636 --> 01:34:25,535 Not what it is. 2032 01:34:29,474 --> 01:34:30,172 Ladies and gentlemen, 2033 01:34:30,274 --> 01:34:32,475 I present to you 20 years of bliss. 2034 01:34:33,877 --> 01:34:37,179 (video playing) 2035 01:34:41,152 --> 01:34:42,886 EMILY: Did you guys do this? 2036 01:34:43,887 --> 01:34:45,388 Simon and I did it, yeah. 2037 01:34:46,325 --> 01:34:47,992 - I just helped. - It was mostly me. 2038 01:34:48,191 --> 01:34:49,659 EMILY: (laughs) Yeah, right. 2039 01:34:53,866 --> 01:34:55,367 Really? Really? 2040 01:34:57,033 --> 01:34:58,602 EMILY: I can't believe you did this. 2041 01:34:59,371 --> 01:35:01,438 I panicked and bought you a watch. 2042 01:35:01,905 --> 01:35:02,905 That's okay. 2043 01:35:03,206 --> 01:35:04,540 You can give me somethin' later 2044 01:35:04,611 --> 01:35:05,678 that I can't get in the store. 2045 01:35:05,878 --> 01:35:06,944 That's really gross. 2046 01:35:07,278 --> 01:35:09,445 - Oh, guys, just look. - Sorry, just pay attention. 2047 01:35:09,948 --> 01:35:11,048 Just look at baby Bieber! 2048 01:35:11,116 --> 01:35:12,216 NORA: He was so cute! 2049 01:35:12,283 --> 01:35:14,152 EMILY: Just look at our baby! 2050 01:35:18,023 --> 01:35:19,956 SIMON: Dear students of Creekwood High School, 2051 01:35:20,392 --> 01:35:23,259 As anyone with a half-decent data plan already knows, 2052 01:35:23,830 --> 01:35:25,831 a recent post on this very website 2053 01:35:26,031 --> 01:35:27,331 declared that I was gay. 2054 01:35:28,066 --> 01:35:29,566 The delivery left something to be desired, 2055 01:35:29,634 --> 01:35:31,035 but the message is true. 2056 01:35:31,637 --> 01:35:33,636 I am... gay. 2057 01:35:34,171 --> 01:35:37,239 For a long time, I was killing myself to hide that fact. 2058 01:35:38,042 --> 01:35:39,242 I had all these reasons. 2059 01:35:39,411 --> 01:35:41,812 It was unfair that only gay people had to come out. 2060 01:35:41,879 --> 01:35:43,079 I was sick of change. 2061 01:35:43,313 --> 01:35:44,813 But the truth is I was just scared. 2062 01:35:44,883 --> 01:35:45,950 COACH: Come on, Garrett. Let's go! 2063 01:35:46,218 --> 01:35:47,717 SIMON: At first I thought it was just a gay thing. 2064 01:35:47,985 --> 01:35:49,786 But then I realized, no matter what, 2065 01:35:49,955 --> 01:35:51,089 announcing who you are 2066 01:35:51,157 --> 01:35:52,789 to the world is pretty terrifying 2067 01:35:52,990 --> 01:35:55,491 because what if the world doesn't like you? 2068 01:35:55,994 --> 01:35:58,627 So, I did whatever I could to keep my secret. 2069 01:35:59,096 --> 01:36:01,666 I hurt the best, most important people. 2070 01:36:02,064 --> 01:36:03,566 And I want them to know that I'm sorry. 2071 01:36:04,135 --> 01:36:05,669 I am done being scared. 2072 01:36:06,272 --> 01:36:07,504 I'm done living in a world 2073 01:36:07,571 --> 01:36:09,373 where I don't get to be who I am. 2074 01:36:09,674 --> 01:36:11,342 I deserve a great love story. 2075 01:36:11,544 --> 01:36:14,076 Disclaimer, this is about to get romantic as eff, 2076 01:36:14,378 --> 01:36:16,413 so anyone adverse to gratuitous feelings 2077 01:36:16,482 --> 01:36:18,382 kindly click over to the BuzzFeed quiz 2078 01:36:18,450 --> 01:36:20,651 or resume the porn you paused to read this. 2079 01:36:20,717 --> 01:36:21,917 Did you even use the ladder? 2080 01:36:21,985 --> 01:36:23,452 SIMON: This guy that I love once wrote 2081 01:36:23,555 --> 01:36:25,923 that he felt like he was stuck on a Ferris wheel. 2082 01:36:26,492 --> 01:36:27,890 On top of the world one minute, 2083 01:36:28,191 --> 01:36:29,591 at rock bottom the next. 2084 01:36:30,262 --> 01:36:31,563 That's how I feel now. 2085 01:36:33,030 --> 01:36:35,331 I couldn't ask for more amazing friends, 2086 01:36:35,735 --> 01:36:37,368 a more understanding family. 2087 01:36:37,869 --> 01:36:39,202 But it would all be so much better 2088 01:36:39,270 --> 01:36:40,704 if I had someone to share it with. 2089 01:36:43,641 --> 01:36:44,541 So, Blue... 2090 01:36:45,243 --> 01:36:47,611 I might not know your name or what you look like. 2091 01:36:49,049 --> 01:36:50,282 But I know who you are. 2092 01:36:51,416 --> 01:36:53,083 I know you're funny and thoughtful. 2093 01:36:53,616 --> 01:36:55,151 That you choose your words carefully 2094 01:36:55,220 --> 01:36:56,719 and that they're always perfect. 2095 01:36:57,488 --> 01:37:00,056 And I know that you've been pretending for so long 2096 01:37:00,124 --> 01:37:01,691 it's hard to believe you can stop. 2097 01:37:02,593 --> 01:37:03,493 I get it. 2098 01:37:04,229 --> 01:37:06,164 Like I told you at the very beginning, 2099 01:37:06,698 --> 01:37:07,397 I'm just like you. 2100 01:37:07,564 --> 01:37:09,299 - GIRLS: Hi, Simon. - SIMON: What's up? 2101 01:37:09,801 --> 01:37:10,701 SIMON: So, Blue... 2102 01:37:11,303 --> 01:37:13,268 after the play, Friday at 10:00, 2103 01:37:13,336 --> 01:37:14,571 you know where I'll be. 2104 01:37:15,508 --> 01:37:17,974 No pressure for you to show up, but I hope you do. 2105 01:37:18,743 --> 01:37:21,145 Because you deserve a great love story too. 2106 01:37:21,747 --> 01:37:24,048 Love, Simon. 2107 01:37:35,194 --> 01:37:37,061 ♪ Willkommen ♪ 2108 01:37:37,126 --> 01:37:38,827 ♪ Bienvenue ♪ 2109 01:37:39,129 --> 01:37:45,132 ♪ Welcome im cabaret ♪ 2110 01:37:45,735 --> 01:37:47,202 ♪ Au cabaret ♪ 2111 01:37:48,073 --> 01:37:55,212 ♪ To cabaret ♪ 2112 01:37:59,649 --> 01:38:01,517 (audience cheering) 2113 01:38:06,124 --> 01:38:07,690 (all gasping) 2114 01:38:08,293 --> 01:38:11,129 Okay. They're not paying me enough for this. 2115 01:38:12,996 --> 01:38:14,630 (indistinct chatter) 2116 01:38:19,303 --> 01:38:20,202 - ABBY: Hi - LEAH: Oh, my God. 2117 01:38:20,273 --> 01:38:21,307 - Oh, my God! - You were amazing. 2118 01:38:21,374 --> 01:38:22,306 I'm not even kidding. 2119 01:38:22,406 --> 01:38:23,941 - You were, like, insane. - Thank you! 2120 01:38:24,008 --> 01:38:25,642 - What's up? - Baby! 2121 01:38:25,742 --> 01:38:26,708 (laughing) 2122 01:38:29,948 --> 01:38:31,182 ABBY: Yeah. Yeah. 2123 01:38:35,622 --> 01:38:36,521 (clears throat) 2124 01:38:36,987 --> 01:38:38,589 - Hey, Simon. - Hey. 2125 01:38:41,659 --> 01:38:43,759 Do you wanna go to the carnival with us tonight? 2126 01:38:49,000 --> 01:38:49,900 Yes. 2127 01:38:50,133 --> 01:38:51,167 - Yeah? - SIMON: Yeah! 2128 01:38:51,235 --> 01:38:52,133 LEAH: Yay! 2129 01:38:52,302 --> 01:38:53,636 Get in here, Leah! 2130 01:38:54,071 --> 01:38:55,340 LEAH: (grunts) The love! 2131 01:38:55,740 --> 01:38:56,706 Thank you. 2132 01:39:16,227 --> 01:39:17,126 - We'll be right here. - Yeah. 2133 01:39:17,193 --> 01:39:18,761 - Go get him. - All right. 2134 01:39:18,895 --> 01:39:20,496 - Yes! - Woo! Yeah! 2135 01:39:20,565 --> 01:39:21,298 Go, Simon! 2136 01:39:21,367 --> 01:39:23,334 - Spier, Spier, Spier! - Woo! 2137 01:39:24,135 --> 01:39:25,569 That should last a while. 2138 01:39:29,307 --> 01:39:30,208 GIRL: Oh, my God, look. 2139 01:39:30,442 --> 01:39:32,108 I bet he's waiting for the other gay kid. 2140 01:39:32,276 --> 01:39:33,911 Where's Dana? She'll love this. 2141 01:39:35,678 --> 01:39:37,979 ABBY: You got this, buddy. Proud of you. 2142 01:39:38,048 --> 01:39:39,548 (students cheering) 2143 01:39:39,885 --> 01:39:41,150 - Yeah, buddy! - Yeah! 2144 01:39:41,218 --> 01:39:42,484 You got it! Woo! 2145 01:39:42,686 --> 01:39:43,586 ABBY: This is it. 2146 01:39:48,160 --> 01:39:49,327 ALL: Yeah! 2147 01:39:49,727 --> 01:39:50,727 (cheering continues) 2148 01:39:56,101 --> 01:39:57,534 We love you, Simon! 2149 01:39:58,302 --> 01:40:00,269 (all cheering) 2150 01:40:02,172 --> 01:40:04,340 Yo. Can you just... Come on, no. 2151 01:40:09,680 --> 01:40:11,281 (all whooping) 2152 01:40:32,536 --> 01:40:35,472 Okay. That's your last ride ticket, buddy. 2153 01:40:37,407 --> 01:40:38,808 MARTIN: Wait. Wait! 2154 01:40:42,747 --> 01:40:44,615 Simon, it's me. 2155 01:40:46,351 --> 01:40:48,719 I'm Blue. l love you. 2156 01:40:50,320 --> 01:40:52,889 - No, you're not. - No, I'm not. I just... 2157 01:40:53,956 --> 01:40:56,259 This is so brutal. 2158 01:40:57,995 --> 01:40:59,429 Here. I'll tell you what. 2159 01:40:59,798 --> 01:41:02,499 I got a couple... How much is it? 2160 01:41:03,066 --> 01:41:06,135 - It's four tickets, four bucks. - Perfect. Okay. There you go. 2161 01:41:06,237 --> 01:41:07,337 Last one's on me. 2162 01:41:08,905 --> 01:41:09,805 Got it. 2163 01:41:11,541 --> 01:41:13,710 Last call for the Ferris wheel! 2164 01:41:15,979 --> 01:41:18,648 Oh, no, I can't watch. I can't watch this, babe. No. 2165 01:41:19,183 --> 01:41:20,083 This is awful. 2166 01:41:20,651 --> 01:41:22,550 - Okay, Dora. - Wait, wait. 2167 01:41:24,289 --> 01:41:25,490 Can I sit there? 2168 01:41:26,324 --> 01:41:27,891 I was kind of waiting for somebody. 2169 01:41:29,293 --> 01:41:30,394 Yeah, I know. 2170 01:41:35,265 --> 01:41:36,499 It's Bram! 2171 01:41:42,741 --> 01:41:43,641 It's you. 2172 01:41:45,309 --> 01:41:46,409 It's me. 2173 01:41:49,547 --> 01:41:51,115 But that night at the party... 2174 01:41:51,316 --> 01:41:53,984 Yeah. I was drunk and confused. 2175 01:41:54,051 --> 01:41:56,918 And it ended, like, a minute after you saw us. 2176 01:42:00,257 --> 01:42:01,390 And you're Jewish. 2177 01:42:02,091 --> 01:42:02,992 Yeah. 2178 01:42:04,063 --> 01:42:04,996 Which is cool. 2179 01:42:06,130 --> 01:42:07,530 And I'm black too. 2180 01:42:08,831 --> 01:42:09,732 And gay. 2181 01:42:11,136 --> 01:42:12,135 It's kind of crazy, huh? 2182 01:42:12,369 --> 01:42:13,537 I didn't think you'd come. 2183 01:42:14,805 --> 01:42:15,504 Me neither. 2184 01:42:16,074 --> 01:42:19,409 Until I was walking towards you, I didn't think I had it in me. 2185 01:42:27,818 --> 01:42:29,619 (all murmuring) 2186 01:42:40,264 --> 01:42:41,863 Are you disappointed that it's me? 2187 01:42:45,804 --> 01:42:46,702 No. 2188 01:42:50,274 --> 01:42:53,709 (all cheering) 2189 01:43:27,245 --> 01:43:28,944 (cell phone ringing) 2190 01:43:33,282 --> 01:43:34,182 Hey. 2191 01:43:34,353 --> 01:43:35,385 LEAH: Have you seen CreekSecrets? 2192 01:43:35,553 --> 01:43:37,888 There are six new confessions, all signed. 2193 01:43:38,422 --> 01:43:39,321 Listen to this. 2194 01:43:39,956 --> 01:43:42,356 "My parents didn't come and see me in Cabaret. 2195 01:43:42,559 --> 01:43:44,327 They hate that I wanna be an actor. 2196 01:43:44,494 --> 01:43:46,894 I don't know if they'll ever be proud of me. 2197 01:43:47,198 --> 01:43:48,466 Taylor Metternich." 2198 01:43:48,800 --> 01:43:49,699 Wow. 2199 01:43:50,335 --> 01:43:51,701 You're a trendsetter, Spier. 2200 01:43:52,634 --> 01:43:54,669 Now, come on, get in the car. We need to go. 2201 01:44:04,882 --> 01:44:06,548 - Good morning! - Ah, there he is! 2202 01:44:06,615 --> 01:44:08,318 - Morning, Simon. - Top of the morning, kid. 2203 01:44:08,554 --> 01:44:09,453 What's this? 2204 01:44:09,853 --> 01:44:11,687 - Nora's specialty. - Mm, coconut? 2205 01:44:11,755 --> 01:44:13,188 - Yeah. - You look good. 2206 01:44:13,559 --> 01:44:15,093 - Have a good day, honey. - You too. 2207 01:44:15,160 --> 01:44:16,491 - Is it good? - It's delicious. 2208 01:44:16,727 --> 01:44:18,428 - I'll see you guys. - What, you're not gonna eat? 2209 01:44:18,562 --> 01:44:19,461 Bye, Simon. 2210 01:44:19,528 --> 01:44:23,632 ("Wild Heart" playing) 2211 01:44:32,809 --> 01:44:34,043 - Mornin'. - Mornin', buddy. 2212 01:44:35,980 --> 01:44:37,513 ♪ No one will ever Read the letters ♪ 2213 01:44:37,679 --> 01:44:39,613 ♪ Or the lies that I told ♪ 2214 01:44:39,917 --> 01:44:42,485 ♪ From the years I was changed... ♪ 2215 01:44:42,852 --> 01:44:44,719 - Good morning. - Hey! How you doin', Leah? 2216 01:44:44,788 --> 01:44:46,254 Pretty good. Pretty good. 2217 01:44:47,490 --> 01:44:49,225 ♪ Why did they have to go And run ♪ 2218 01:44:49,293 --> 01:44:51,927 ♪ From the dream far away ♪ 2219 01:44:52,429 --> 01:44:54,896 ♪ Were we there? Was I brave? ♪ 2220 01:44:55,265 --> 01:44:57,500 ♪ Ooh, ooh! ♪ 2221 01:44:57,934 --> 01:44:58,868 Hey! 2222 01:45:06,310 --> 01:45:07,209 Hey. 2223 01:45:11,579 --> 01:45:12,981 - Morning. - Morning. 2224 01:45:16,586 --> 01:45:17,485 Everybody in? 2225 01:45:17,554 --> 01:45:18,453 - Yes. - Oh, yeah. 2226 01:45:18,622 --> 01:45:19,422 All right, it's too beautiful a day, 2227 01:45:20,091 --> 01:45:21,992 so I think I'm gonna actually take us on a little adventure. 2228 01:45:22,326 --> 01:45:23,460 - Yes! - Woo! 2229 01:45:23,526 --> 01:45:25,126 That's exactly what I need! 2230 01:45:25,296 --> 01:45:26,230 NICK: Yeah, adventure! 2231 01:45:28,331 --> 01:45:30,133 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2232 01:45:31,433 --> 01:45:32,735 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2233 01:45:34,306 --> 01:45:35,705 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2234 01:45:37,306 --> 01:45:38,673 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2235 01:45:40,211 --> 01:45:41,645 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2236 01:45:43,313 --> 01:45:44,647 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2237 01:45:44,649 --> 01:45:46,582 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2238 01:45:46,584 --> 01:45:50,287 ♪ When we met Everything seemed all right ♪ 2239 01:45:52,990 --> 01:45:54,991 ♪ I turn and sing On the sidewalk ♪ 2240 01:45:55,058 --> 01:45:57,059 ♪ Cut straight through The moonlight ♪ 2241 01:45:59,997 --> 01:46:03,666 ♪ I loved those days We didn't get out of bed ♪ 2242 01:46:06,771 --> 01:46:10,372 ♪ Left your taste in my mouth Your strange voice in my head ♪ 2243 01:46:11,009 --> 01:46:13,910 ♪ Oh I wanna hear it again ♪ 2244 01:46:14,911 --> 01:46:17,412 ♪ Expect that we're caught In a love song ♪ 2245 01:46:17,681 --> 01:46:20,650 ♪ So loud, oh, yeah ♪ 2246 01:46:21,884 --> 01:46:24,019 ♪ No not so typical love song ♪ 2247 01:46:24,288 --> 01:46:27,223 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2248 01:46:28,558 --> 01:46:31,027 ♪ So say that I really need you ♪ 2249 01:46:31,262 --> 01:46:34,164 ♪ So bad, oh, yeah ♪ 2250 01:46:35,132 --> 01:46:37,632 ♪ No, not so typical Love song ♪ 2251 01:46:37,936 --> 01:46:40,838 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2252 01:46:42,104 --> 01:46:43,739 ♪ Hey ♪ 2253 01:46:49,644 --> 01:46:51,378 ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪ 2254 01:46:54,183 --> 01:46:56,316 ♪ You leave the city And chase bullet holes ♪ 2255 01:46:56,384 --> 01:46:58,152 ♪ That's actually starlight ♪ 2256 01:47:00,458 --> 01:47:03,290 ♪ In those rare moments You and I were brilliant ♪ 2257 01:47:03,360 --> 01:47:05,128 ♪ We were gonna be all right ♪ 2258 01:47:07,829 --> 01:47:11,165 ♪ God I loved those days We couldn't get out of bed ♪ 2259 01:47:14,371 --> 01:47:18,173 ♪ With your taste in my mouth Or your words in my head ♪ 2260 01:47:18,509 --> 01:47:21,343 ♪ And now I wanna Hear it again ♪ 2261 01:47:22,678 --> 01:47:25,212 ♪ Expect that we're caught In a love song ♪ 2262 01:47:25,482 --> 01:47:28,350 ♪ So loud, oh, yeah ♪ 2263 01:47:29,521 --> 01:47:31,721 ♪ No, not so typical Love song ♪ 2264 01:47:32,055 --> 01:47:34,991 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2265 01:47:36,125 --> 01:47:38,561 ♪ So say that I really need you ♪ 2266 01:47:38,929 --> 01:47:41,797 ♪ So bad, oh, yeah ♪ 2267 01:47:43,067 --> 01:47:45,468 ♪ No, not so typical Love song ♪ 2268 01:47:45,703 --> 01:47:48,337 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2269 01:47:48,770 --> 01:47:55,943 (instrumental music playing) 2269 01:47:56,305 --> 01:48:02,882 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org165439

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