All language subtitles for The L Word - 4x02 - Livin La Vida Loca.en

Previously on The L Word...

If it isn't Jennifer Shecter,
author of "Some of Her Parts"...

Of course I'm gonna read my own review.
Why shouldn't I?

Freak!

What were you thinking,
you were gonna marry this ridiculous girl.

Alice worked for weeks
setting this wedding up.

Helena spent a small fortune.

What Shane did is terrible.

And completely unforgivable.

I knew you were his daughter and

it wasn't just because of the name.
It was the picture.

I mean, look at you three of you.

I left you a gift.
It's on the back porch.

I'm cutting you off financially.

The movie studio Paramount
was looking to acquire...

Your mother wanted to unload it
before she left for Antigo.

Who's Aaron Cornbluth?

- He's our new boss.
- Meeting him on wednesday.

My daughter Brooke's coming home from Ohio.

I always sat the two of you
would hit it off.

Phillys...

Yeah, I can't wait to get started.

I will see you on campus monday morning.

Who the hell is Papi?

This morning it was 1150.

With the question that is
on everybody's mind tonight.

Where is Papi?

- "La Carretilla" by Jenny Peer -

Hey Alice!
Alice, over here!

Alice, right? From the radio?

- Yeah, you scared me.
- Here I am.

- Really? You're...
- Papi.

I heard you've been looking for me.

- You're Papi?
- Si, that's me.

Excuse me, honey, are you Alice Piezecki?

I would have fell down
that you were looking for me.

How much this means to me.

I've been listenning to your program
every single day.

She's been waiting her whole life
to be discovered.

Alice, hellooooo.

What a wonderful lady. I am Papi.

Oh yeah?

She's looking for a woman, you idiot.
So why don't you fuck off, huh?

I'm a lot more woman than you.

What, you wanna go with me?

- I suppose she is Papi too?
- Oh well,

"papi" means daddy. You know that, right?

You are going to find
a lot of papies here tonight.

Hey, is this Gary Douglas?

Hi, I'm looking for a guy named
Gab McCutcheon.

I'm... See, I'm his daughter and
I was hoping he might...

No, I tried there and they said
they haven't seen him since, yeah...

Right.

Right, I understand but do you think
he might know anybody else that could...

Okay.

No, um... Thank you.

Bye.

Fuck.

Still no luck, huh?

No.

You know,

I can do a computer search if you want.

I mean there's this great new program
for tracking on missing people.

And it accesses to police records.

- I mean I could look for Carla too.
- I hope it works.

Jenny, he's a sweet kid.

I know that he's a sweet kid.

But the thing is, Shane...

- What?
- Your friends just miss seeing you.

Jenny, I haven't gone anywhere.

Well, I think that you're hiding.

You know, you're in sort of

distracting yourself by trying to
get the kid off your hands.

I'm sorry.

Ballot and Gavin have this little real estate
speed once or twice a year.

- Good morning Chancellor Kroll.
- Good morning.

It's been going on
since Ballot got ten years.

Phillys, did you get my new project request?

I got it, Randy. Thanks.

I recommend you give Gavin
some extra studio space.

- Hi chancellor Kroll.
- Good morning to you.
- Good morning chancellor Kroll.

I put him on this election committee
to choose the architect for the new building.

He seems happy.

Now let's talk about your building.

We've decided the old humanities department
for your new building.

Now all you have to do
is raise the money to build it.

Well, I've worked up a list.
I don't see it as a huge challenge.

Excellent.

Have we talked about the trustee's brunch?

- Next saturday.
- At my house.

My husband might come down for it.

- He's at Stanford.
- Right.

The dean of the School of Engineering.

I'm looking forward to meeting him.

Anyway. I'd like you to make
a little presentation,

just a few minutes on your goals,

the world class artists
shall we bring here to teach,

how you're gonna reestablish
California University

as the leader in fine arts education.

In 50 words or less
I think I can do that, Phyllis.

Well just be sure to tell them we'll be
doing it for 1/3 of the former dean's

budget.

We've got a brilliant group of TA candidates
for you to interview, Bette.

Thank you.

Well, there's a lot of competition.

You're the most glamorous dean
they've had in years.

Matthew Reese was 85 and bald.

Well, it's more about your background.

Your show Provocations was
the flash point for the generation.

They all still seem to think
you can change the world through art.

- So do I.
- Good morning chancellor Kroll.

How do you explain this

steaming pile of shit on my desk?

Most of it predates me.

I've only been here nine months, Aaron.

- And I had a mandate...
- There's a new mandate now, Tina.

And that's to make Shallin synonymous

with the 18 to 24 market.

I need people around me

who are hipped to their tastes,

who speak their language,
who can deliver the next Brett Ratner,

Mark Lambert.

Tell me a movie
you've always wanted to make.

"Twisted Forest"

Every monkey in this town
wants to make "Twisted Forest".

Old Betty won't sell.

She hates Hollywood.

Yeah, but she loves indian cinema,

really obscure indian cinema,

She's a freak for Satyajit Ray

and we've talked for hours
about Pather Panchali.

You spoke to her?

She also loves Mira Nair.

Which is what scelled the deal.

We're gonna start
as soon as Mira raps post on Gangsta M.D.

She sold you the rights?!

We've got "Twisted Forest".

Okay.

You get to stay.

I need you to do one last thing for me.

What's the deal with Helena Peabody?

She's a really great gal.

- She has big heart, she...
- And a really big bank account

and she almost ran Shallin
right into the ground.

Here's what I need you to do for me.

He sent you to fire me?

I'm sorry Helena.

It was a power trip.
He's

- a scumbag.
- A scumbag you're working for.

Well, I need my job. I couldn't afford
to tell him to get fucked.

- "Running Out" by Mable John -

Why did he fire me?

I think he's threatened by you.

He wants to establish himself as the boss

and he's afraid that everyone's gonna think
that he works for you.

Or it could have been that comment
you made about his movie?

"Zombies on the Train"?

And how it appealed to the people
with intelect *** ?

Yeah.

If you have a social life.

If you like to spend quality time
with your girlfriend or boyfriend,

visit your mother on the weekends,

go to gym, several times a week
to keep your body fit and healthy,

I respect that.

I even envy it.

But you shouldn't be here.

Because if you're gonna TA for me,

you shouldn't expect to have a life.

You're only here
because you're intensely driven

and you are determined as I am to make C.U.

the destination art school,
ahead of RISD and Yale,

and the only reason you can even contemplate
taking on this added responsibility

in addition to
your already insane course load

and the hours you spend
in your graduate studio making art

is that you are young enough

and foolish enough

to think that you can get by
on three hours of sleep a night.

- "Short Stoppin" by Veda Brown -

"Tonite 10 P.M.

I'll B there. Will U?"

Oh sure you will, Papi.

You call your computer Papi?

Uh, no, it's a

this girl on OurChart, Papi.

You know, she has more hits than Shane.

How do you not know this?
Where have you been?

Oh, right... Stuck in the far reaches of
hetero-ville, that's right.

- Yeah, it's so scary.
- Ooooh, scary.

I think I remember you lurking around there
a couple of years ago.

But I did come to my senses. See,
that's the difference between you and me.

- Hey girl.
- Kit, hi, how are you?

Oh girl, I'm okay, thank you.

But I can tell you,

I sure would have loved a large
glass of red wine afterwards. I swear.

I just felt so...

sad.

I've never had an abortion.
It must be really hard.

Oh it started with the reason why

I had too much trouble
getting pregnant with Angelica.

- I had 2 in my early 20's.
- Really?

And now you have a little angel.

Yeah,

but only 50% of the time.

And her other mother has her
the other 50% of the time

and that's the way it should be.

It's hard on Bette too, you know.

And Angelica must never hear you say

that Bette is any less her mother
than you are.

I know, I would never say that. I...

I know.

It's fine.

Holy fuck!

As I live and breath.

Wow, Shane?

Look who finally showed up.

Well, well, well,

I was wondering when she would reemerge.

How are you doing?

- Hey!
- Pretty good.

Hey...

Looks like...

Carmen found you.

So, who is this gentleman?

Shay.

Oh hi Shay, nice to meet you.

You're hungry?

Come on over here.
And I'll cook you up.

And you can talk to your friends.

Hey.

- Good to see you.
- Right.

It's nice getting to know you, Eric.

- We'll talk soon.
- Thank you for your time, Dean Porter.

Sure.
And what was that material call?

Oh, Synthecrete, it's amazing stuff.
It was devote by David Hurts.

I'll look into it.

And next, we have...
Nadia.

Don't tell me.

Nadia Krell.

- That's very good dean Porter.
- It's italian.

Have you heard back from Franklin yet,
James?

Oh, yeah, he's planning on coming
to the Planet brunch

and he said he'd be honored
to join the comittee.

It's greek.

It's my step-father's name.

Great, I love Grece.

I spend every summer in Mykonos

which has artists and collectors.

My step-father has a house in Mykonos.

Great. Come on in.

- "Carry On" by Jean Knight -

Shay, I know you're gonna love
these french fries.

You want some ketchup?

Shay,

you're doing okay?

Good.

Helena hates me, doesn't she?

No, she doesn't hate you.

But you know, apart from Carmen,
she's the one who got hurt the most.

- You know she's my roomate now?
- Really?

Then what do you think I could do
to make it up to her?

You've got 40 million dollars
stashed away in a sock?

What?

I'm an industrial design major.

I did graphic design as underground.

Dr. Kroll actually really liked
that last one.

You designed these prospectives
for Dr. Kroll?

Yeah.
No, she went on and on about how,

it was utterly

distinctive but she had no idea
that it was actuallly completely derivative.

Of Lazar El Lissitzky.

Well, that's acceptable.

I was inspired by your show at the CAC.

You introduced me to Moyen-Age,
and El Lissitzky.

- So you saw the "Constructivism" show.
- That blew me away.

I just drive in L.A. and I was one of those

east coast girls who,

you know, think that California is
completely devoid of any kind of culture.

Which is an absolute clich�.

Right no, I know. I know that now.

Wow. Are you� are you an athlete?

No.

Why?

Because you have� uh.

Because you have very beautiful arms.

I do some,

you know, still yoga every now and again
I just� I really don't have any

time to do anything more than that.

My ex-girlfriend was a professional boxer,
and your arms sort of remind me of�

of hers.

Well,

I'm not a boxer, so I'd better not
get in the ring with her!

Anyway.

I have to make a presentation
at the trustees' brunch, as you know,

and I would like to use a metaphor.

I wanna use a metaphor about

being in a new place,

full of wonder,

and there's this comic, it's a little boy
and

it's his dreams' escape and
the drawings are just exquisite

but I cannot for a life
be able to remember who did them.

Windsor MacKay.

You know I think that's right.

"Little Nemo in Slumberland"

Yeah. It's really genious actually.
I think that Dr Kroll would love that.

- Even if it is derivative?
- No! God no! I mean

by the time that we are done with it,
I mean, just, I...

Wow. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to be presumptuous.

Well, you are.

You're very presumptuous.

But why don't you come in on monday morning
and we get started?

Then I've got the job?

Well I'd like to work with you on this

presentation
and we'll

see how it goes.

When do you want me?

9:00.

I'll be here at 8:30.

I really think it's a beauty,

perfect combination of
step location and angles of attack.

And I bet she has a
Mercury EFI superventilated, right?

It's a choppy day, but I had it up to
88 miles per hour in a matter of seconds.

We'd have to come out with it one weekend.

Yeah, that'll be great.

Brooke, this is Max Sweeney.

It's nice to meet you.

Thank you. That's sweet.

I made a reservation at Hankcock Park.

- I hope that's okay.
- Oops,

I forgot to tell you. Brooke's a vegetarian.

Dad, that was like 3 years ago.

Hankcock Park sounds wonderful.

Well, we can't keep up.

Hey honey, let me take the flowers.

- "Champion Lover"
by Deborah Glasgow -

And he sent Tina to do it?

It's not her fault.

She had no choice, really.

Come on Helena,
she's a fucking collaborator.

If she'd said no to the guy,
she would have been out of the job,

and she would have come after you
for child support.

Oh come on you guys, you really think
Tina would do that? Come on!

She'd be entitled to it.

I'm sorry but under the law,
she would, wouldn't she?

Oh, probably, probably...

- Speaking of the law, Shane.
- What?

- What the law has to do with him?
- Well, there's school for one.

It's true.

It's illegal to keep a child out of school.

Well let them arrest me.

Have you thought about placement?

- I know that they have these services.
- You mean forester care?

Shane, I know you've had some really

wack personal experiences.
But what about

private social services? I mean,
for kids that don't have families...

Hey Shay,

- how did you like your cake?
- Hey did you finish your milkshake?

I think I'm gonna throw up.

Look, the bathroom's right over there.

- Shane?
- What?

You should go with him.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

Hold his hair!

- He doesn't have any hair!
- Would you just go?!

Man, is that a fuckin' disaster.

She's so not ready for this.

I wish Carmen was here to help her.

Yeah, well, she wasn't ready
for Carmen either.

- "Waltz From Coppelia"
by Studio Musicians -

This girl that I, uh...

go to school with,
she was attacked.

It was like all over the news
and everything.

The guy was brought up on charges.

Everyone knew he did it and he still got
the Reynold's grant over my friend Sarah.

Yeah.

And I bet
all the frat guys gathered around and

said the girl asking for it, right?

Yeah, even some of the girls said it.

Or at least, they didn't stand up for her.

Wouldn't you feel powerless? I mean,

girls sometimes betray each other,

just to keep their connection to their man.

They feel like
without a connection to some man

they're totally cut off of power.

Which I imagine is really scary,
you know?

Yeah.

What?

I've just never met a guy
who understood that.

Let alone cared.

What can I say?

Monsieur?

You try.

- "Teresita"
by Studio Musicians 5 Alarm Music -

You're looking for somebody, miss?

I am.

And I think I might have been sent
on another wild goose chase.

Do you know other babe by the name of

Papi?

You're looking for Papi?

You're sure?

Okay,

right over there.

Thank you.

Hello?

Look, I don't know who this is

but I'm really sick
of these games so I'm not gonna...

Where?

Okay.

Leave it!

Fuck you!

Oh god!

Okay,

what's the plan?

You're taking me to Papi?

I ain't got no plan, baby.

It's you who wanted to see me.

Thank you so much
for agreeing to sit down with me.

I know that you have a writing dead line.

Yeah, I'm

I'm supposed to end up my story for
the New Yorker and my agent tomorrow.

So I'm just like...

Congratulations! You know I did
a story for the New Yorker last year.

I know. I read it and I loved it.
I thought it was just fantastic.

That's why I said I wanted to do
the interview with you.

No, I mean, not specifically
'cause you write for the New Yorker, but...

I told the publicists that they...

That I don't wanna do it anymore
gay press after this.

Well, that's understandable. I mean,
you don't wanna be

catalogued as a lesbian writer.

Well, not specifically as a lesbian,
but catalogued as

a lesbian writer memoirist as, you know,

- I just wanna be Jenny.
- Yeah.

You know, I'm not happy

unless I'm qualified
with at least five things.

What are your five things?

Pussy-chasing,

- con enthusiast, half Bu-Jew...
- Wait,

- what's Bu-Jew?
- Bu-Jew...

It is half Jewish, but practicing Buddhist.

I'm Jewish!

- Nice!
- Yes.

Rock on!

Jewish sisterhood.

Way to go.

Jewish lesbians.

Yeah, you know, but anyway I...
The reason why

I chose to write for Curve magazine is
because they let me pick the books

- that I review.
- Okay.

And I only review books
that hold a real significance to me.

Why... Why does "Some of Her Parts"
holds significance to you?

My partner's a survivor.

- "No Me Hablas As�" by Sol -
Hey Papi!

- Yeah, amigos!
- Papi, Papi!

Hey everyone!

Here, try this, try this.

You know she likes that, right?

Come on girl!

What's up?

Everyone, Papi's in the house.

Where have you been, huh?

- Alicia?
- Yes?

Thank you.

- "Esta Noche Tu Vendras"
by Chelo Silva -

Wow!

Papi...

A lot of people know you here.

What, are you like the pope in east LA?

Actually it's pronounced "Papi".

- What?
- It's okay.

It's just a little more latina
than your tongue is used to, chica. Here.

Let me help you to say my name right.

You might need it later.

So...

More better, girl, much more better.

Now, what I can help you with?

Not a lot of ladies put a APB
to me over the radio.

Mostly their boyfriends are coming
after me...

Oh, I hope I didn't put you
in a bad position.

Fuck all men. I'm honored.

Hey, can I? Would you mind
if I tiprecorded this?

No.

Great, great.

Uh, interview

web famous Papi...

Papi.

Anita, will I have another fruit juice,
por favor?

So what do you wanna know about Papi, huh?

Well, Papi,

you have become sort of a legend in about

2 days on my website.

You crashed my whole server.

What can I say? I've been blessed.

It seems the ladies like me
as much as I like them.

We're talking about
a hell of a lot of ladies.

Like I said, I've been blessed.

A lot.

Right. But,

why do you think that happens to you?

It's not something I do, girl, you know.
I don't wake up in the morning saying

"I'm gonna do some pussy today".

Well, sometimes.

- Me too.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

No, I just, I just do my thing.

I live my life and my life has girls in it.

But...

Here's the question, Papi.

Why do you think they flock to you,

Love I guess.

They know I love them.

Really?

- Yeah.
- Really Papi?

All of them?

I love

their voices,

I love their eyes,

their hair,

their curves, their bodies,

their laughter

their sadness,

their wetness.

See, everything about a woman I love,

touching them,

feeling their skin against mine,

making them feel good.

See, I respect them.

I respect myself.

And uh...

And what?

They like the way I kiss.

I can make a woman come

just by kissing her.

Well I hope I didn't bore you to tears.

You didn't bore me at all.

I didn't shut up.

I mean, you know everything
there is to know about me and...

I don't even know where you come from.

I come from Wilmette.

It's in Illinois, outside Chicago.

Do your parents still live there?

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Why don't we save all that stuff
for the second date?

Shit!

Classic!

You'll think I am 17.

I don't think this has ever happened to me.

Really?

So, you've never been caught with your
tongue in some girl's throat?

Well, my parents,

you know, they weren't that strict. So...

Well, you're a boy.

Yeah, I know, I was kind of a good kid.

Are you or were you?

Yeah.

Well, let me teach you how to be bad.

Go on, get inside.

Call me?

I might...

be able to wait till tomorrow.
But,

I'm gonna be thinking about you all night.

I didn't want the boys to come across
as one dimensional monsters.

And whatever,
what I was trying to show is that,

I think that in our culture,
sometimes boys are condoned

for their actions
and the message is "go ahead,

rape these girls,
the girls are for raping".

Well, it seems to me that

the real monsters in your book
are your parents.

No.

I mean, I didn't want my parents
to come across as evil.

I love my parents so much.

You know?
And when that

thing happened,
they were just devastated.

But you know, I think as adults,

they had the power

to help me overcome it,
and they chose not to. And

instead, it festered into a pathology,
and I think

the sum of it made me
pretty dysfunctional. You know?

It probably made me
into the dysfunctional liar

that I was for most of my young adult life.

You know,

that's a very brave thing
to admit about yourself, Jenny.

I don't know.
I mean, I think that's why I write, 'cause

you just wanna get all this stuff out.

I don't think I've ever opened up
like this to someone before.

You've made me feel very safe.

Thank you for that.

Wow!

What? That makes the bed pop out?

- "Salve Me" by Studio Musicians -

Nice beats.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, good beats.

This makes the bed pop out.

Okay...

Papi?

Well I just...

I just feel like maybe...

I think like maybe
you're moving a little fast.

But we need time for the full tour.

I'm gonna take you places
you've never been before.

Oh, I highly doubt that, Papi.

How about that?

You like that?

Oh, wow.

What are you doing?

Circles.

- Magic circles.
- Circles.

- Circles are good, right?
- Oh, yeah, circles are good.

Yeah, circles.

Oh, wow, circles.
Like that?

Oh yeah, I think I really like circles.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, circles.

Circles are great, Papi!

Cirles are really great, Papi!

Oh my God.

- "Mozart Concerto #23"
by Studio Musicians -

Hey, come on in.

I feel like I never see you anymore.

You're so busy.

I saw you earlier this evening.

It's just a feeling.

I'm allowed to have feelings, aren't I?

What's wrong?

Did something happened?

Where is Angus?

I feel so damn guilty.

Kit, you told me that
you were clear about this.

You said that you and Angus both agreed
this was the right decision.

It was the right decision.

But I feel so sad for Angus.

He... he's trying to be

really brave about it
but I know he feels so sad.

You know Kit, you can be sad
for yourself too.

I'm just glad he's not here

to see me being this sad
because it would only make him sadder.

You think maybe I can...

have a little hug?

Oh wow!

How do you say I'm done in spanish?

- You're not done.
- No?

Oh Papi!

That's how you say my name, girl?

- Do you wanna come in?
- Oh, no no. Thanks, though.

But it's against the rules.

Rule number 1, Papi doesn't do breakfeast.

Okay.

- Well, it was fun.
- Yeah.

- I had a really good time.
- So did I.

You know, I'm glad I found you.

Alright Alice,

see you around.

Well, well, so we had a busy night.

Yeah, I was working.

- Working?
- Yeah, working pretty hard.

Alright, see you.

Oh my god!

Really?

Really Papi?

Wow! That girl does love working.

It's kinda freaking me out.
I mean,

she is the boss' daughter.

And then, I don't even know how it works.

So you should come out.

Hey!
Is it Curvemag.com or .net?

You know what? You don't understand.

Coming out for me
is not the same as it is for you.

She said that I was gonna be out
first thing this morning.

So I don't understand why I can't find it
because

when she called me
to get some comments she said

the reviews were already done.

I thought you were gonna let me
read the reviews before you look at them.

No, I don't need to with this one.

We had this understanding and

you know, I think
that's the kind of thing that happens

when 2 gay women speak to each other.

Oh! Yeah! Here it is. Okay.

Ready?

Jennifer Schecter,

"Some of Her Parts"...
Okay, ready?

Jennifer Schecter's autobiographical examination
of her violated childhood

is sexually explicit,

self-indulgent

and self-pitying?

You know what? Maybe you really shoudln't
be reading this right now.

Schecter is an undisciplined writer

who applies a sloppy solipsistic logic
to an undisciplined life.

Her central thesis of childish sexual abuse
is both the cause and

an excuse for deceit for adult behaviour,

is both insulting and dangerous
to those myriad women

who have suffered
at the hands of predatory men.

Okay.

"C'est la vie!"

Fuck you, Stacey Merkin! FUCK YOU!

- Jenny, come on. The kid's here.
- Oh my God! My bag!

- I was waitlisted for this bag.
- Hey, we'll clean it up!

Okay, right?

What are you screaming about?

Nothing.

What happened?

I spilled.

No, that's not what happened.

What happened is that
Stacey Merkins

- revealed herself to be a true cunt.
- Hey!

Please.

And she used her gayness
to get me to open up.

And the thing is, Shay,

I didn't even want to do the fucking...

Second time.

...interview

in the first place.

- You're done?
- Yeah.

Look, Shay...

Listen, there are macaroni cheese
in the freezer, alright?

And if I'm not gonna be back for lunch,
Jenny's gonna help you with the stuff.

I'll see you later. Have fun!

You watch him.

Shay,

say "Stacey Merkin's a fucking cunt".

- Okay, you know what...
- Say "Stacey Merkin's a fucking cunt".

- No, you know what, he's not gonna say it.
- Say it. Say it, say it, say it, say it.

- Have a great day, Jenny.
- Stacey Merkin's a fucking cunt.

- Hey, do you have a second?
- Jesus!

- Oh, Nadia.
- I'm sorry.

I'm just so excited. I found the book.

And it is, it is fantastic.

"Heads will roll" is going to love it.

Heads will roll?

AVC Kroll.

We call her "Heads will roll" Kroll
'cause she fires at least one dean a year.

Just look at this.

Okay.

As you know,

it's the original.

But we are gonna make

this CU.

And, I'm gonna make you little Nemo,

because this is your dream
for the future of the School of the Arts.

No.

No, little Nemo is a student.

Make it a boy,

'cause most trustees are men
and they're so sentimental about their

boyhoods.

Now I want you to focuse on
the School of the Arts but

I also want you to acknowledge
the other departments of the university

like make this

physics,

and,

make this athletics.

Okay?

Wow.

You're amazing.

Uh Preston, I was just coming to see you.

Well, good work Nadia.

So you see where I'm going with this?

- Yeah, absolutely, I do.
- Thank you.

Thank you. Alright.

Hey,

can I call you Bette?

She could call me anything she wants.

Dean Porter's just fine.

- "Wargasm" by L7 -

Hey Marta,

can you give my little brother
a smoozie or something?

- A smoozie?
- Yes, a smoozie.

This is so hard to get the kid
a fucking smoozie?

Marta, don't get me shit.
Just give me a smoozie.

Shane, your next client's still waiting.
Can I get your signature on this thing?

Jodie Lerner is gonna be here in 3 weeks.

It's such a coup getting her
as an artist in residence. I love it.

I would also like to try...
John Balthazare.

And Edward Shay, he owes me a favor.

I also have a list of all
of her acquitement needs because if

we wanna be truly competitive
with the rest of the top tier...

Phyllis?

I'm sorry. Go on.

Yeah. If we wanna be truly competitive
with the rest of the top tier...

then we're gonna need to upgrade
our digital media resources.

I've been married 23 years, Bette.

I have two children,

that are both gone away to college.

Are you okay, Phyllis?

Are children okay?

Have you ever had the conviction
you've been living a lie your whole life?

No,

actually I haven't.

No, of course not.

You're courageous.

You live your life boldly, honestly.

I wish

I could take your example.

Phyllis,

you are a woman of
incredible accomplishments.

- I cannot possibly see...
- I think I'm a lesbian, Bette.

Oh!

In fact, I know I am.

I've known it since I fell in love
with my college roomate.

We didn't act it.

I was too afraid.

It didn't fit in with my life.

Gosh! I wonder where she is,
I wonder if she even remembers.

I just can't keep this inside
anymore, Bette.

Do you know what I mean?

I... no.

Wait, no. No, I don't, I don't
know what you mean.

I have to find out about these feelings.

I have to find out about what I've missed.

Why don't you talk to someone?
I mean, maybe a therapist, or...

I've been lying to my therapist for years.

I need to talk to you, Bette.

Me.

Why me?

Because you seem
so comfortable with it. You...

You seem so fulfilled that I have to,

I have to know how you've done that.

It's a process, Phyllis. I mean,

it wasn't always easy.

God, I sure hell hope
it is not to late for me.

Do you think it's too late for me?

It's never too late, Phyllis.

It's never too late.

Where is she?

I want her to look at me in the eyes

- and say all of this to my face.
- She's a freelance writer.

- She doesn't have an office here.
- Oh yeah, what's your name?

- Jolene.
- Jolene...

Jolene, you're a liar,

because I can see right here,

I see that Stacey Merkins is in suite 2939

- and I'm gonna go to her office right now.
- I told you that she's not here.

She comes once a week for a staff meeting.

Oh yeah?

May I ask you something?
Jolene,

did you read that piece-of-shit review

that she wrote about me
in your little magazine

called Curve?

Because actually, I got a rave review in
Publisher's Weekly magazine.

Can you just look up my review, please?

Just publishersweekly.com.

Jennifer Schecter.

Good for you, Jennifer.
Then you

shouldn't give a shit what she wrote
in this piece-of-shit magazine.

Well, I do give a shit.
Because

I think she should be fired.

I think she used duplicitous methods
to get me to open up.

- Duplicitous?
- Yes.

She used her sexual orientation
and her gayness to get

me to open up.

And do you know what Merkin means?

Jolene?

Vagina wig.

That's what her name means.

Shame on you

for not correcting
her sloppy syntax and grammar.

- "Rebel Girl" by Bikini Kill -

- Shane?
- Yeah?

I need you to come check this out.

What?

Oh, shit, Shay.

Hey, Marta?

Would you give me a mop, please?

Hey Shay, don't worry, okay?
Don't sweat, it's no big deal.

- Shane...
- What?

The dye's all fucked up. Look at this!

Alright, you know what?

We'll make some more. Just take
the fucking things and I'll help you.

Hey, Marta. You can tell my brother
to come back in? Thanks.

You asked my brother to come back in?

He left.

What are you talking about, "he left?"

He just walked out the door.

He's nine!

Jesus Christ!

What, is life so fucking hard for you?!

You're fired.

Again?

Shay!

- Shane sounded really upset.
- Here she is.

How long has he been missing?

Alright, listen.
My fucking worthless assistant said

he could be walking on Robertson,
but I don't know.

Ok, then we'll check on the east streets and
we'll head over the Beverly center, okay?

- We can check out the park.
- Okay.

We need more people.
I can't get through to Helena.

Me and Jenny can go
to skate park and check it out, right?

Yeah.
We'll ask everybody if they've seen him.

And have you filed the police report yet?

No, no, no, but Kit said she was going to.

So you just call me and let me know?

- Yes, absolutely.
- Okay.

Thank you guys.

Bye!

Don't worry, Shane, we'll find him!

Wait, wait, no, no, what do you mean
I need a picture of him?

No, no, no, I don't have a picture of him!

I haven't known him for that long.

Fucking moron!

And what are you, fucking blind?!

- "Couldn't Leave Her Alone"
by The Hedrons -

Hey, look, it's this guy.
Hey buddy.

Have you seen a kid around here,
like 9 years old?

He has brown hair and blue eyes
and he was wearing a grey sweatshirt.

No. Sorry.

How old did you say you were again?

I'll be 10 in November.

10, huh?

You know what happens to 10-year-old boys
who run away, don't you?

Shay?

Miss McCutcheon?

Thank you! Thank you!

Oh my god, oh my god!

What the hell were you doing?!

Just lucky it was me who picked him up
and not some wacko.

I'm sorry.

I had a hard time finding your number
but your story told me the name of that WAX

I thought it was
a... place or something.

Don't ever run away from me again,
do you hear me?

Where did you think you were gonna go?

Home.

Look,

I'm your home now, okay?

And we both have to get used to that.

Thank you.

Let's go.

This is crazy.
We're never gonna find him here.

I know.

Oh, it's Shane.

Hey Shane,

hey buddy. How is...

Oh my god! Oh my god!
This is...

- She found him?
- That's great!

Wow! Okay, yeah,
we'll just see you back at the house.

Yeah, take your time.

Yeah.

Get him a big burger. That's a good idea.

Okay, see you later.
Okay, bye.

- Wow...
- Oh thank god, thank god.

Can you believe that?

How do you feel?

Fantastic.

- Who's that?
- Uh...

That's uh...

Papi.

So, would you like to come back
for a nightcap?

Rule number 2,

never go home with a girl whose roommate
you just fucked that same morning.

But uh,

thanks for the offer.